#287 - Drug Recognition Expert | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dillon show the Super Bowl was uh won by. the LA Rams. and uh What uh what who cares but a lot. of people do and um the people that uh. don't pretend to and that's lovely in La. is obviously a lot of actors and people. really you know they're like yeah but a. week ago they didn't know who the Rams. were and they didn't care but it's just. fun it's fun it's like drugs. there's a reason for it there's a reason.

to be [ __ ] up whoa oh. um and then there's a lot of other. people that really care but you know. there's a lot of people that I think are. pretending they seem to be you know they. seem to be a little bit more moved than. they're actually. than they truly are because tomorrow. they wake up they don't care and it's. back to them it's a nice collective. experience for a city that doesn't. really like the collective it's more of. an independent city about you and what.

you're up to but someone's done. something else it does directly involve. you and it's nice to pretend to care. about it even though you most people. don't. the people that do are like regular. people that are not in LA to like makes. you know make like something or make it. they're human beings who live in L.A and. work and have families they care but the. people that I'm around and the people. that I you know observe. are pretending to care because it allows.

them to have a collective experience. even though it's fraudulent and not real. it allows them for a few minutes to. pretend that they can enjoy something. outside of themself which is completely. they're incapable of doing and this. allows them to pretend that they can do. that which they cannot but you know fun. it's fun we just got hassled by the LAPD. on the way to the studio two cops pulled.

us over an Asian guy and a bald guy and. we had inched over the line what was it. the line of the the traffic line the. intersection line now by the way he he. was next to us the cops and we pulled up. to where he was and then he pulled up so. I kind of thought I could pull up. because I figured that well he's pulling. up I guess I could pull up but you know. what he's basically saying is we're. pulling up because for our own safety we. don't like people next to us because we. think you could take shots at us or.

whatever which again you know and we. weren't planning to do but I didn't. realize that that I know it's bad out. there but I didn't realize I didn't. think he was like ah. they're going to shoot us in the head so. we'll go up so he moved up I moved up. and then he looked it out he looked at. me. and do you remember the first thing he. said I don't really remember he said sir. why did you roll through the line there. have you been drinking tonight yeah. because you've been drinking tonight I'm. like the first of all the light is green. I'm like right it's a green light so I'm. I'm going through the green light okay.

that's uh how it works. and he's like well I'm gonna pull you. over to do a Dewey check and I'm like. I'd exhibited no behavior of drinking I. was not swerving uh there was no smell. of marijuana or alcohol in the car. um yeah there was nothing going on we're. on our way to the studio every time I. defend the cops by the way and when I. say defend the cops I just defend the. idea that there needs to be a police.

force I don't really defend the cops per. se I just defend the idea that you need. to have. some enforcement of the law or rich. people just hire Mercenaries. um and then chaos ensues. but every time I even try to defend that. you know you you have interactions with. these people and they're always bad and. they're always like kind of abusive and. I'm a white guy in a nice car imagine if.

I was a black guy what they could get. away with doing they bait you. into saying something disrespectful so. that they can bring you in he kept. threatening me with other first of all. we pull over okay. and you could tell he's mentally. unstable many people in the LAPD are. mentally unstable okay this is not their. first choice of employment he identified. himself as a Dre hey what was it again a. drug recognition expert a drug. recognition expert he's an expert on.

recognizing when people are on drugs. because apparently that's hard to do. it's an art it's a science because you. would never know when someone's on drugs. unless you had a drug recognition expert. so lucky. so now this drug recognition expert. based on the fact that I was not. swerving not slurring no smell of. alcohol or marijuana but I was answering. his questions coherently he was like oh.

he must be [ __ ] up. so he he pulls me over and then he. starts going at me he goes if you had a. drink I said not in 13 years which is. true. and he goes okay. and then I'm like he goes well we're. gonna do a test here. uh and he pulls out a pen. and he goes what color is the pen now. it's a clear pen. it's a clear pen that looks bluish. purplish kind of it's a weird tint it's.

a big pen. I got I don't know Blue Clear he's like. oh he thinks he's got someone. like dummy first of all it's not even a. sobriety test the sobriety test you get. me out of the car this is like a waste. of both of our time you just want to. bait me into saying something crazy you. could bring me in and then you don't. have to do your job for the rest of the. night I get it. so this emotionally unstable lunatic uh. that has me follow the pen cap with my.

eyes he's like don't move your head just. your eyes which I can do I go to the. left you know right left right we got it. I complete that and he goes. um. you know he's kind of a Dick's being a. dick. and I go it's rental here's the. insurance I've not had a drink in 12. years we're going to work. he's being a dick see then he's more of. a deck starts lecturing me about d-wee's.

you know whatever and this is my job and. I'm like okay but I passed we're done. so then as he's leaving I go scumbag to. Ben because I was yelling at Ben. but here's the deal with them you can't. say to their face they'll put you in. jail but what you do is you say to. someone in the car something about them. because that's freedom of speech but if. you say to them they will say that you. are being. um uh whatever menacing threatening or.

that you are uh out you know because. he's like he alluded to the fact that he. could take me in for multiple tests uh. he goes here's that's only one test. there's many tests so what he's. basically saying is say the wrong thing. I'll bring you in you'll pee in a cop. we'll do blood whatever it is you know. which then I call a million lawyers and. we go to war with piggy Blue Collar. piggy Pig but we don't want to do that. you know what I mean we don't want to do. that okay. but. uh he's uh you know drunk on his own.

power uh a uh not the brightest bulb. um you know he's on on Dewey enforcement. in Beverly Hills right. um and then he comes back he goes what. was that I was like I didn't see. anything I said I have freedom of speech. it's my own car I can say whatever I. want he goes well what did you say I. said it's none of your concern and then. we just start fighting like going at it. for what about 20 minutes about 20. minutes that 20 minutes going back and. forth with this civil servant slob about.

um you know why I have rights that's all. about why I have rights and why this. idiot uh doesn't get to just you know uh. and again this is the pandemic or. whatever it is it's going back to 9 11. it's like this is instilled and I'm like. I'm like with the city falling apart. with people getting killed Smash and. grabs robberies do you think the best. use of your time right now is to argue. with a guy that we've proven is sober. and is not breaking any laws do you.

think that's the best use of your time. he's like well what do you do for a. living I said I'm Gavin newsom's. personal assistant. it's exactly what I said I said that's. what I know. and we got back if I said I'm somewhat. well known I said I'm not crazy well. known compared to other people but I'm. decently well known because he goes he. said some [ __ ] about you have you ever. been shot at I'm like no I defend cops. on large platforms I've said nice things. about I'm gonna take them all back he's. like have you ever met someone who's.

been the victim of a Dewey no aren't. they dead isn't that your point. he's like do you know have you ever gone. to a Dewey scene no. is that something I'm even allowed to do. am I even allowed to just go to dwee. scenes. to look at mangled people. to learn. I'm not drinking. but again the cops are abusive and. belligerent and they're trying to make.

you say something they're trying to trip. you up it's incredibly unprofessional. that the way that they behave and act. and it's. sad but I was. um I you know argued my position pretty. well I said hey buddy like you know at. any time did you think I was gonna go in. yeah I thought uh I thought we weren't. getting the episode in in time for sure. well no but did you think I was think I. was going to jail no I didn't think you. were going to jail but I thought it. might escalate a little bit more but I. did a good job at held your ground I. helped because what what the the thing.

is is they're so used to just trampling. on people civil liberties and rights. um like for example I'm not drunk we've. proven I'm not drunk. I made a comment to my friend in the car. guess what it's none of your business. that I said you were a scumbag. if I say to your face I like people that. say things to my face I'm like because. you can bring him to jail that's what. you like liar. you're a liar you you're you're your.

power crazed psychopath you're the. entire reason we have [ __ ] problems. right now in this country because you. people show up somewhere and start. firing wildly because you're all insane. okay not all of you but far too many. let's be clear far too many of you are. [ __ ] out there causing real problems. he's the Asian guy he's like they said I. was racist. and they were spitting on me and I. didn't take them to jail I'm like number. one you probably did number two I'm not.

spitting on you I'm telling you uh that. I have a right. as a human being I'm sorry that uh. doesn't sit well with you but when I. said Gavin newsom's personal assistant. the bald guy laughed yeah the other cop. on the other side yeah. baldy laughed but yeah I mean you know. what are you gonna do this is why the. LAPD I mean they're they're the most. corrupt uh police force in the country. so they don't do much but whatever they. do is always bad like whatever they get. involved with is uh horrendous.

so you're glad that they but what's. going on with the Ukraine everyone's uh. going on about this Ukraine now you. can't leave the house without people in. the grocery store going you crane what's. gonna happen do you think because here's. what's happening for the uninitiated for. the the people that don't know. um Vladimir Putin. who's that and this is I. um. I was stunned when I read the full story. about this.

there is a. couple. who wants to be in the Olympics and they. are non-binary. and they are from. Russia. and Vladimir Putin is not letting them. into the Olympics because he you know he. does not like gay people. this is this is the whole thing. we are going to have to have a nuclear. war. with Russia.

have you heard this we're going to have. to have because I thought this was like. Ukraine joining NATO and like like NATO. pushing further into Russia's territory. and then kind of like you know they're. kind of prone to Invasion and them kind. of freaking out going hey you're. encircling us like would you like it if. if we encircled you like that like don't. you see but it's not about them there's. a non-binary figure skating team that is. being denied entry to the Olympics by. Russia so we're going to have to have a.

nuclear. Exchange. because Russia is not. as. Pro. uh Progressive as we would like and that. saddens me and it saddens many people I. know if we have to have a nuclear war. so be it. you know no of course that's a joke. although they are Glenn Greenwald made a. decent Point like wokeness is now used. as kind of like the pretense for war.

it's hilarious. they're like he did they're. backwards and they don't like gays so. we're gonna go in there with some nukes. it's like well that doesn't help that. doesn't help the gays does it if I was. getting Russia I wouldn't want um uh to. be uh bombed as the way to help. that wouldn't help me probably. situation in Ukraine building out of. some kind of Crescendo opportunity for. Mr Putin says no Russia's going we're. not invading but they said that about. Crimea and they did go into Crimea.

they've got a lot of troops on the. border Russia does not like being in. circle they don't like NATO pushing past. Germany more into Russia's world and. then if the Ukraine joins NATO I mean. it's right on their doorstep right uh. NATO of course being this uh group of. countries uh that uh the North Atlantic. Trade Organization right yes yes and. what they basically do is well you know. it's a Trade Organization an economic uh. political military Alliance that you can. join and if the Ukraine is in it it's.

it's really bringing native right to. Russia's doorstep Putin not happy about. this should not nobody really knows. what's going to go down. um the Ukrainian president keeps saying. that nothing's gonna happen like no. there's nothing to worry about. well the Ukrainian president keeps. saying relaxed it's going to be fine. right. but 160 Florida National Guard soldiers. have safely left the Ukraine. so that is.

a few women in Ukraine not being. sexually assaulted by the Florida. National Guard. we do we go to these countries we. sexually assault people I mean it's. horrible but this is what we do and then. we pretend we don't know how it like so. many complaints are like I'm like. American G you know hey you drinking it. now you're. now you no. why'd you go over. well because I'll you were over the line. and the light was green so we were.

living yeah. yeah maybe I should go over to [ __ ]. Korean assault some women. what. you were dead. I don't know what's really gonna happen. here with this and I I can't care. I don't want the Ukraine to be attacked. I don't want uh. you know I don't want this. but then you know but then sometimes. they wake up and I go maybe I do.

that's the problem because sometimes. I'll wake up and I go. yeah I do maybe I do want. the Ukraine to get attacked. I don't know. have you ever like tried to pick. like a flavor maybe of ice cream or. something and you're like. I just don't know that's kind of how I. feel about the Ukraine I go I don't.

I kind of don't want them to be attacked. but then I also do. what the [ __ ] is going on you stupid. [ __ ] look at me have do you know what. bird dogs are wake up. bird dogs are what are they even shorts. shorts bird dogs are shorts that people. wear and aren't they comfortable yeah. why why have a pair of shorts they're so. comfortable they make a [ __ ] feel nice. it feels like you're masturbating all.

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accessible if you're a man. birddogs.com promo code Tim Dylan I love. better help so many people right now are. struggling with their mental health. especially since we've had two years of. isolation and quarantine but here's what. you're gonna do I'm telling you better. help is it great online service it's got. licensed counselors that are great at. what they do you can change them anytime. if you don't like them you could send a. message they'll get right back to you it. is so important to keep your mental. health uh going here with a better help.

whether it's hitting the gym making time. for a haircut or even trying therapy you. are your greatest asset I've always said. that to you right you're your greatest. asset yeah that's what I've said so. invested time and effort in you yourself. like you do for other people better help. is online therapy that offers video. phone and even live chats it's more. affordable than in-person therapy and. you can be matched with a therapist and. under 48 hours give it a try and see why. two million people have used better help. online therapy the podcast is sponsored.

by better help and Tim Bill and show. listers get 10 off their first month at. betterhelp.comd that's. b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p.com slash Tim D do. it now. this podcast is sponsored by betterhelp. online therapy. Bay Area homeowners are uh being asked. to help to house homeless residents.

in the Bay area of California in. Northern California they are having. problems with uh homelessness and the. gov the government now to their credit. is no longer pretending that they're. functional remember that story about the. children who drive the ambulances oh. yeah you brought that to my attention. they didn't have anyone to drive the. ambulances so I forget where this was. but they just started enlisting the help. of I think like high school kids to just.

drive ambulances because they couldn't. find anyone else to do it and again it. was one of those feel-good stories where. they're like take a look at this we are. so proud of our young boys and girls. yeah in in rural Sackets Harbor New York. jackets Harbor New York local volunteer. Ambulance Service local high school. require training and pigtops man me and. my friends would be just baking out the. ambulance we'd just be getting so high.

in that ambulance. let's watch this little segment. when people call for an ambulance in. Sackets Harbor New York and the crew. shows up at their front door they're 12. almost everyone has the same reaction a. lot of people just come up and ask you. like wait how old are you right you're. the EMT right once the ambulance coming. so what do you say let me just explain. to them we are the ambulance. these baby face First Responders took. over The Village's Emergency Medical.

Services not long after covet hit when. all the older EMS volunteers either. couldn't or wouldn't do the job anymore. that's right that Exodus wouldn't have a. national Trend that's Rural America 35. of ambulance services are all volunteer. Pam and many of them maybe that's a bad. model 69 say they're struggling that's a. horrible model huh fortunately 40 of. people coming to get you are doing it. because they want to what was that in. New York state it's a weird isn't that a. weird Model 30 35 of ambulance workers.

in Rural America are volunteers. 35 of people that are coming to get you. in your moment of need are doing it. because they feel like it. I mean is that a problem. but now we got kids doing it so in the. great spirit of this because I think. this is great I think it's good everyone. pitch in get in there and do it right. get in there and do it. get can you imagine being a young kid. well I was a piece of [ __ ] you know we.

love drugs and just being a Long Island. being in an ambulance being high. somebody called oh [ __ ] dude we got to. get this woman putting the siren on. so in San Jose California as the Bay. Area continues to struggle under the. weight of its homelessness crisis uh. officials and non-profits are asking. local residents to do more than hand out. meals or donate spare change I like that. already hey because no one's doing that. either no one's handing out meals so I.

like that they're saying you got to do. more than this and people go who's doing. that. handing out meals. they're asking them to open up their. homes nearly 30 000 people are unhoused. in the Five County Bay Area and there. isn't nearly enough room in the Region's. existing affordable housing developments. to fill the gaps service providers. increasingly are recruiting private. landlords to take in homeless tenants. some property owners are renting out. entire units in exchange for agreements. that the government or a non-profit will.

cover the rent others are offering up a. spare bedroom fun in their home. sometimes in exchange for a small. stipend sometimes as a purely or as a. purely charitable Act. now how does this work because I this is. a very interesting idea you have a spare. bedroom. and you bring in someone that may be. addicted to drugs you're emotionally. unstable. and by the way.

it's America so members of your. household already may be addicted to. drugs and emotionally unstable you may. be adding another person. because that's what a lot of teenagers. are right now right you have an. emotionally unstable drug addict in the. home and now you're bringing in a buddy. you're bringing in a buddy it's uh Harry. and the Hendersons it's like it's. bringing in a fun. you know it's down and down Beverly.

Hills watched a movie with Nick Nolte. it's been [ __ ] brilliant. quote here recruiting landlords also is. a challenge for the homecoming project. which houses formally incarcerated. people a group that's often stigmatized. using donations and non-profit Pace. hosts in Alameda and Contra Costa. counties 30 a day to house someone in. his spare bedroom for six months each. former inmate is matched with a case. manager to help them find a job and save. money for a permanent home sex offenders. aren't eligible now let's get one thing.

straight I am very much for people. turning your lives around. and not being stigmatized especially. with non-violent drug charges right I. don't think people should carry these. things for the rest of their life I. don't think it should prevent them from. working and I do think that they need a. place to stay I do though think it is. quite hilarious that with all the money. that the government of California takes. in the only option they have is to go to.

Citizens and go do you have a room. that's the only option. after the billions of tax dollars that. flow into the state of California the. only thing you can do. is say hey do you guys got any rooms. sex Stein Zach Stein and his wife. volunteered with say by the way remember. there was a homeless guy there was a guy.

in Beverly wood who worked with the. homeless and I'm not persuading anyone. from working with the homeless by just. telling you this factual story. there was a guy in Beverly wood who. worked with the homeless a homeless guy. followed him home and stabbed him to. death you think it was Brentwood maybe. let me see. I believe it was in Beverly wood but it. doesn't really matter people are. listening to this from some dungeon in. Wisconsin they don't understand what. we're talking about right we're talking. about Beverly Hills piglets. homeless man uh arrested for murder at.

Brentwood and Camp well you were right. same difference. so that I think that was a different one. but but my point is this. my point is this. you gotta have cojones. to work with people that may kill you. right. Zach Stein and his wife volunteered with. safe time opening up their spare bedroom. in Albany to a struggling young woman. for three months in some ways it was. really weird having a stranger there.

Stein said. but the experience seemed to make a big. difference in the woman's life. start this was one of the Andrew Cuomo's. Mistresses they had they housed. Stein and his wife recently had a baby. and hope to continue hosting once they. get settled as parents well that seems. insane but they were able to buy their. house because they inherited money and. they want to share that good luck with. those less fortunate well that's the. beginning of a fun movie. I mean here's the deal there's a lot of.

people that are down on their luck that. need help there's also a lot of people. that have real real problems with mental. illness and drug addiction and the idea. that you would bring them into your. house uh and put your family and. Children at Risk seems insane to anybody. and I know this is one of those ideas. that like 10 people write about on. Twitter and they make it sound like it's. a great idea but human beings recoil. from this it's like you know the reason. why the Democrats have lost a narrative.

on truly everything right now is because. the Democrats issues that have always. made sense to people are like the meat. and potatoes like yeah people shouldn't. go bankrupt when they get in a car. accident people do need health care. people should have a retirement right. people believe in those things but when. you start getting to this extreme. of the left where they go why don't you. why don't you hey how about you open. your house how about you got a room. because these are millionaires why not.

put them in Gavin news how big is that. how big is Gavin newsom's Winery. can't they all go work on Gavin newsom's. Winery. I'm not saying you shouldn't be. charitable when you can but there's a. lot of this that screams a horrible idea. because you are not trained to deal with. people that are experiencing psychosis. you're not trained to deal with that. and it's America so there's already.

people in your house with psychosis this. ain't new there's nothing new here. you're adding another nut. to a bag of nuts probably. talk to anyone now someone's lost it. anybody you talk to there's someone in. the house who's gone completely insane. so you're bringing in someone else and. that could be a real big problem. I just you know. I'll bring them in my house but you got. to do what I say I'll program them to.

kill. if I if I adopt a homeless person can I. program them to kill. truly. if I bring if I sign up in this program. save time. can I get I want to get a [ __ ] person. in there that we can MK Ultra to do. whatever we want. nothing truly violent. just like throwing a loaf of bread in a. politician something funny.

Bits good Bits good goofs can we bring. in a homeless person and teach him how. to do some goofs. well if you want to if you want to open. your home to them I. commend you. I'm not saying it's a bad idea. it's not a great idea. what was the other article that I uh I. thought was very interesting. uh there was this one with the Real. Housewives well this was fun this was. from a while ago.

um. a real housewives Stars ax faces felony. charges after a standoff at Newport. Beach home here's the thing man you may. not like the Real Housewives and you may. think that they're a garbage television. uh franchise and you might have many uh. Arguments for that that are valid here's. what I'm telling you pay attention. because the economy these people that. are on these shows for the most part not. all of them a few of them have money. inherited money or part of Industries.

whatever but the vast majority of them. are con artists they're frauds uh they. are grifters they uh they are you know. basically living off cheap credit. they're in these uh industries that are. unregulated they're the wild west you. know when the show first started it was. in Orange County California and it was. all mortgages one guy worked at a title. he owned the title business and the. other person was The Other Woman was. real estate agent the other person did. this and you know and all of them kind. of were getting in on the big uh.

boatload of free money that was there. and then of course as the economy. crashed uh those people also crashed and. you watch that so it's a good indication. now uh this guy I don't even know who he. is but Ryan Matthew. gerardi whatever. 33 of La faces one count each of. extortion by force or threat assault. with a firearm making criminal threats. corporal injury on his spouse or. cohabitant grossly negligent discharge. of a firearm and being a felon in.

possession of a firearm basically what. he put the chick he locked her up in the. house for a while he had fired a gun in. the house during the fight a couple. months ago he was uh blackmailing her to. release her nudes to the media folks let. me tell you what this means Bitcoin has. not reached the bottom. let's call the speed is paint here. Bitcoin has not reached the bottom. when somebody's blackmailing the wife. for the Nerds and they got the. helicopters in Orange County and he's. shooting a gun in the house.

kryptos there's more blood in the water. that's what I'm that that is my. prediction it's what I'm telling you. right now. this is not a human interest story this. is a story about economics I'm telling. you pay attention SWAT teams were. requested and East Balboa Boulevard. between Island Avenue and Coronado. Street was closed during the standoff. standoff in Orange County means there's. more blood in the water the coins are. going down. I'm telling you when these criminals.

start to feel the squeeze margin calls. people need to start covering their ass. when they start feeling the squeeze they. take the gun out in the house. I'm telling you ignore me at your own. peril. what's coming won't be able. you can't stop what's coming what's that. quote from uh No Country for all that's. your favorite quote. at some point he forced Vargas whoever. that is to buy him a BMW. hmm.

on the 31st he shot a gun in the homes. into the home ceiling during an argument. while Vargas hid in the closet. well here's what my point is here. well my point is when these people start. to get Restless. you know something is. uh a miss. so Anthony Weiner is back he's hosting a. show called Left first right with Curtis.

Sliwa now Anthony Weiner is uh the. husband of Huma abedin who's a Hillary. Clinton's. um. uh. assistant. and Huma abedin yeah Vice chair of. Hillary Clinton's 2016 campaign yeah. yeah so she's very tight with Hill and. her husband Anthony Weiner had an issue. because he was sexting what a 15 year. old yes yes I think it was 50 I wasn't. 15 let me see 16. it was so it was. underage it was underage but then there.

was some conspiracy about it that the. girl I don't know right here 15 year old. girl was sentenced to 21 months in. federal prison 2017. right and he did. the time right. but now he's back. so he goes weiner 57 told the New York. Post at the radio show isn't part of a. larger comeback plan he goes I am not. going back in public life I'm doing a. radio show with a friend of mine here's. the thing with Anthony Weiner who's a. very successful politician incredibly. successful and he was I think pissing. off a lot of Rich really rich people and.

he's busting up Industries and stuff or. whatever I don't know what he was doing. and don't don't come at me and go you. don't know the half of it I don't care. about a quarter of it. but what I do know is that he was I I. they they you know he was obviously. acting in a in a deplorable manner but. they they they they they did seem to he. did seem to ruffle a few feathers they. got rid of him but now he's uh back. and he's doing a radio show with Curtis. Sliwa the guy who uh lost.

in the Mayoral race against Eric Adams. and I don't and it's called Left verse. right I mean they'll never stop with. this huh. they don't care what happens well what. disgraces people are a part of they just. go back to the left first right Paradigm. of they don't care who they don't care. what people have been convicted of as. long as because people are watching. let's search right. who's who's gonna win the debate.

Adolf Hitler. and [ __ ]. Jeffrey Epstein on left verse right no. one care as long as it's a dumb horse. race style. meaningless political show where people. will hurl insults at each other they. don't care that he was that texting a. child doesn't matter. it's left first right yo did you see you. listen to the left verse right.

did you see that. did you see the point Jared Fogle made. on left first right. it was [ __ ] good dude. it was about taxes. yeah yeah I know he had a thing with the. kid but listen to what he said about. taxes on left first right. what did you think about the Super Bowl. halftime show people were very happy. it's all this music we grew up with. Eminem and Mary J Blige Dr Dre 50 Cent I. didn't we didn't watch it we left we.

went to David dobrik's house very. briefly and um I stood there and we were. there for what about an hour about one. hour very very and they're they're sweet. people but you know I mean I don't I. don't know a ton of people there and uh. you know the food was fine but a lot of. people had eaten it nah we're talking to. Jason his friend Jason Ash he's a very. nice guy and then we we had to go do. this episode so we're like okay we just. kind of skipped out a beautiful home he. has a nice home.

um. but here's my thing here's what I'll say. here's what I'll say and he's done much. better than me he has a lot more money. than me. but let me just let me just say this. I bet why are you laughing I'm not. why are you nervous I'm gonna sing. anything bad. here's the thing about. real estate. I trust you know what it is.

I I have the burden of taste. it is a horrible burden. one that many people uh do not have to. suffer with while they walk the earth. and it is hard for me to look at a lot. of these La homes. and see them as anything other than like. a grotesque. even though they're very beautiful and. impressive. and and you Grand whatever. but I look at these uh homes.

these large doctors offices is what they. are they're large doctors offices and I. just can't get into it we don't need to. show the home we don't need to do that. we're not doing that what a horrible. producer you are. why are you getting mad well he does a. lot of tours of his home I know that but. we're not when I'm doing a segment about. the guy's home I'm making a point about. the aesthetic of the West Coast Real.

Estate that I can't fully know there's. some beautiful homes here but just the. modern style is not for me. okay that's all I'm saying. that's all I'm saying. okay we're not trying to start uh. anything here he's a lovely person we. did not even say hello to. he was busy. does he speak English he does right does. he have an accent. no not really I mean he's the the. Canadian thing a little bit is he. Canadian I thought he was from somewhere. else I think he's Serbian or something.

well we didn't see the halftime show at. Slovakian right so this halftime show. you'd think he'd have some Slovakian. food you know for to honor his Heritage. but there's none of that people come to. La they forget who they are but I wanted. some you know what I mean Minnesota. Slovakian some Slovakian food just. tick-tockers eating. food of Slovakia. um. yeah I don't care about this either I. mean I I'm you know I'm trying to care.

about this but I just can't care here's. what I'll say about it I love the music. but it's like seeing like the white. chicks in their 30s were my age like. you're like dancing. like see ing like that like that just. that just disgusting like like remember. [ __ ] junior prom. you know uh. like when you see that when you see. these heifers doing that it it makes it. less fun.

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1-800-889-9789 in Connecticut call. 1-88-789-7777 or visit. ccpg.org chat in New York call. 1-8778-hope New York or text Hope New. York. 467-369 if you are in New York. we'll leave you with this the great Lori. Lightfoot ties carjacking wave to remote. learning uh light foot watch we got to. come up with a. a thing for light football like a. graphic and everything a graphic I mean.

let's I want to I don't want to miss a I. don't want to miss uh okay oh oh a. syllable out of this woman's mouth. because it is rewarding to me on many. levels. um. so whatever she said I don't even know. yet but the the teachers union has said. it is quote intellectually unsound and. politically venal for the mayor to make. such a connection so there's no one that. supports her in the state for all of our.

Chicago fans the one the only the great. Lori Lightfoot. that we believe between remote learning. and. um and the rising carjacking look we. started seeing this rise in cases. um in 2020 and I'll be frank and say. um in Chicago there was a correlation. that we believe between remote learning.

and. um and the rise in carjacking. um having talked to State Attorneys who. were dealing with these cases in. juvenile court and others a lot of. parents went to work during the day. thinking their teenagers were logged on. for remote learning only to find they're. stealing cars and I asked you know is. there some new market for stolen cars. and unfortunately this is the best for. many of these kids who some of them had. no prior involvement in the criminal.

justice system This was. um pure boredom but we're way past that. point now and we've got to bend serve on. this issue this is why we yeah well. here's what it is you know the kids. they're learning at home it's boring. you know so they gotta steal the cars. they steal the cars. and what are you gonna do they're bored. they're kids.

I mean so the teachers Union's going. insane because he's essentially blaming. them she's going yeah well you guys are. doing remote learning and maybe if your. lessons were a little more uh compelling. the kids wouldn't be out stealing cars. how about not phoning it in when you're. on Zoom make it good. is this her quote here no this is from. the the public school's demand Public. Schools demand an apology they go every. child in our public schools in Chicago. deserves an apology from the mayor who.

claimed with zero evidence that there's. a correlation between remote learning in. 2020 and an increase in carjackings. which have been growing Across the. Nation so life is just blaming children. yes yeah to suggest that our students. are somehow disproportionately. responsible for these crimes is. precisely the kind of scapegoating and. smeared tactics black and brown students. and adults have had to contend with in. any discourse about crime for uh. Generations. uh the great Lorry Lightfoot Lightfoot.

watch again we do appreciate you Lori. man when she finally. retires or is indicted or whatever. happens to her I will miss her. I mean you have no idea. wait a minute what is this. so she was a some gang lightfoot's tied. to a shooting that happened in Austin. Texas as well that she had to answer. wait a minute.

hold the phone. my are you telling me that my two. favorite things. Lori Lightfoot. corrupt mayor of Chicago. and the violent hellscape known as. Austin Texas. are intersecting how has this happened. can you tell us it's yeah it's like. because you produce our show it's like a.

crossover episode it's great so months. after publicly clashing over a deadly. shootout in Austin Mary Lori Lightfoot. and Cook County State's Attorney Kim Fox. appeared together Thursday to announce. gun charges against a man who was. wounded in the gang-related exchange of. gunfire Thomas Dean 20 was charged with. aggravated unlawful use of a weapon. after he's found with three guns used in. the shooting fox said at least one was a. machine gun at the time of arrest Dean. was facing three additional gun Chargers. in a separate case Cook County court. records show so white foot then it. raining men and then his his reach. extended to uh to Texas it seems.

she's doing what she can here. go to Drudge let's see if there's. anything breaking on Ukraine before we. get out of here have we gone to war with. Ukraine 48 hours to stop Europe from war. 130. 000 Russian troops last ditch bid from. peace. wow. what are you saying what do you think uh. do you think we're headed into or uh. Russia is going to invade the Ukraine it.

seems to just be sort of a U.S media. frenzy uh well I don't know if it's only. that there's something going on. I think we might be uh overstating it a. bit. well you know what it is no one's caring. about the Olympics Cove is almost over. or is over and nobody gives a [ __ ] about. the Olympics so we need a war we need. something. we need to keep moving we need to keep. going here. I mean and this is the way to do it.

let's get Russia involved. you know. we've got a little news story out of it. I mean the media has been how many times. you're going to play the Joe Rogan. compilation no one cares. now you think Vladimir Putin's ever said. the naughty word. I don't know. what if Vladimir Putin had a Spotify. podcast. what it instead what if Spotify comes.

out and goes instead of invading the. Ukraine we're giving 500 million dollars. to Vladimir Putin. and we're signing an exclusive deal. and we're we're bringing on Vladimir. Putin to do an exclusive podcast it. would be great. but now everybody is like wait a minute. what the [ __ ] is going on. but now we've reached this weird news. cycle where we we no one cares about. anything. and we we're supposed to because we've.

all been through two years of caring. way too much. and now it's like I mean the Super Bowl. the Ukraine. the carjackings. the kids with the guns the crime debate. too much. people are just disconnecting now from. anything. and they're doing a bad job of. convincing you that they care they don't. they can't we need a break we need like. a three-month break from the news like a.

90-day sabbatical they should just stop. the news for like 90 days. they should not have the news for 90. days and let everybody just [ __ ] fill. the tank up again of curiosity no one. even cares. no one gives a [ __ ] let us get curious. again give us 90 days of reruns of stuff. let us. you know wet our bake with some trashy.

reality TV put on the Real Housewives. let that guy chase the woman around with. the gun let us entertain ourselves with. that and then three months later come. and tell us that Ukraine got their uh. ass handed to them. but we can't handle it. you know we need a break let's go dark. for a minute. I was at that thing tonight you know no. one cares about anything. there's no feeling of positive or even.

negative like it's just so boring now. everyone you talk to it's just an. exercise. in just boring. meaningless. banal nonsense. nobody's got anything left to say the. fact [ __ ] so it's all over. did right when Comics still screaming. about that it's got No One's Gonna care. in six months then what are you gonna do. I mean like these mandates have got to.

expire right they've got to expire. people don't care anymore and I think. after a while they're just gonna these. mandates will get defeated they'll get. defeated in the courts Supreme Court. already struck a blow to one of them. I I just don't think it's gonna be this. big. deal for the rest of our lives I'm again. hoping. you know. what the [ __ ] do I know but.

I'm just hoping. a bullish Russian Ambassador said his. leader of Mr Putin doesn't give a [ __ ]. about the threat of Western economic. sanctions because we're going to put. sanctions on them. and um. they'll be [ __ ] or maybe not here's. the thing with Russian they'll tell. their people. it's gonna be a lean winter they'll tell. them tighten it up. sanctions are coming tighten up. tighten up a little bit you know.

it's not like America where everybody's. like living like Way Beyond. like Putin will straight up to other. people and be like hey. tighten it up. see how that one meal you got on the. table. make it into two. because we're about to [ __ ] up some [ __ ]. I don't know I go back and forth on it. every day with Ukraine should they be. attacked or not. every time I'm in an Uber I'm going no. and then I go yeah. I go no and I go yes.

so I'm so divided what what where what. are your thoughts on this uh well the. thing is if if they're not actually. going to war with the Ukraine are we. inadvertently sort of tanking Ukraine's. economy because people won't do business. with them so if this is all like just. for clicks and they're really not going. to go to war then this is like like. we're the Bad Guys right. no.

you're oversimplifying it. there's a gay couple. they're both non-binary and they want to. perform they want to go to the Olympics. and they're from Russia. and they're being stopped from going to. the Olympics and wearing the new. non-binary gay flag with 15. different colors in it for every. conceivable thing anyone could ever be. they're being stopped of doing they're. being stopped by the government of.

Russia so we're going to have to go into. a nuclear war. for that so I don't know what you're. talking about about currency. manipulation in economies but you're. losing sight of the [ __ ] prize here. the prize is that everybody. lives happily ever after and peacefully. which is why we have to go to nuclear. war. that's why we need a nuclear war it's. quite simple. it's quite simple. who is this woman this is some uh I.

think Ukrainian woman who's uh trying to. join the troops well I'll tell you right. now my money's on Russia. take a look at her. uh she's 80 years old she joined. civilians weapons training with Ukraine. troops. um I gotta be honest. I'm putting my money on Russia. I have a lot of respect for this woman. and that's great. but if I was a betting man I'm not but.

if I was. I'm gonna go with uh. Russia. over this elderly woman. she looks like Betty White. she's like Betty White with a. Kalashnikov. I don't know if that's going to do it. that may not do it. Betty White with a AK-47. I don't know.

I don't know. poodle vaporize her. but you know what she's doing there. um. and this is people don't even understand. this photo. Russian troops. were yelling at trans people and and. misgendering them. this woman. is pointing a gun at the Russian troops.

as if to say that will not be tolerated. we must go to nuclear war. I I don't see another way around it if. every country in the world does not have. the values that we do. we should go to nuclear war with them to. help the citizens of that country it's. pretty simple. if you were gay. and you're in Russia and things aren't. great and I'm not saying they are. um even though in the big cities like. Moscow and St Petersburg it's probably.

better but let's say you were a gay. person you were living in Russia and you. were dealing with attitudes you didn't. like some of those attitudes for sure. being propagated by the government. wouldn't you rather be uh to wouldn't. you rather sanction so you didn't have. food. or wouldn't you rather be nuked. as a fair point. and I'm not for Russians. [ __ ] on gay people or whatever I. think that's.

um. you know it's horrible and I don't know. to the extent that they're I mean I I. think it's bad it's not good. um again Ukraine's nationalists this is. all false flag I mean this is I mean. that's what I'm thinking no this is all. what I'm thinking yeah I mean this is. clearly like SKS it's Russia doing this. as a justification for an invasion worst. case it's you know who. we are somehow involved in this and we. are send that's rambu right there by the.

way we are sending Minecraft uh kids. over here. to uh pretend to be Ukrainian. nationalists to goad Russia. into some type of military activity. because this doesn't seem real. but I could be wrong there's like six of. them by the way. there's six Ukrainian nationalists. I mean you know this is some type of op. you smell this right you can smell it.

already they got the old woman with the. gun she cares about her country so much. I mean you can you can kind of feel the. narrative taking shape the Ukrainian. nationalists are training look at this. old woman she cares so much the elderly. are going to come out with weapons. the old people are coming out with their. guns. so I don't know who wants the war Russia. us England everyone all of the above the.

only people that probably don't are. [ __ ] Ukraine these poor [ __ ] they're. not doing anything they're just their. economy is being destroyed. foreign. and maybe Putin does go in I don't know. I'm not making a [ __ ] prediction. I don't really know. you know. I I did I'm in the process of purchasing. a home I'm not going to tell people. where. but I'm going to say that. um.

we're going to have another studio for a. few months. we're going to do so we're going to be. uh. temporarily relocated. from where we live now. Beverly Austin. we're adding another place and we might. have a little Studio there and this is. not going to affect anyone but it's on. the east coast. so for July August we're going to be. maybe a little beaching a little East.

Coast. uh studio just for the months of July. August. I don't know if the house will go. through or not but. it will be in a few months that might be. a fun thing uh we love this studio it's. a great Studio. um but we're gonna do a little I think a. little summer Studio might be fun too. and uh we're going to uh. and what do you think that would look. like. uh so we got umbrellas for sure and I.

don't know that's hacky. You're Gonna Go hack like that. that's what Tony pizza was thinking I. know but we did this one's classy we got. big cactuses and. I mean I want to do something I'll be. cool if we had a big animatronic like. shark what I want to do you calm down. what I want to do is get one of those. really those light those pictures that. light up you know. but we'll also do some episodes from. here but um. we got to also we go we can't ignore the.

East Coast we have to have a little we. had a great I did a great run of. podcasts out there and I just said you. we gotta have a presence over there too. it really makes sense. um if nothing else but for to support. Ukrainian nationalists. how great would it be next week Lori. life was like the rise in carjacking is. directly tied to an uptick in violent. nationalism in the Ukraine. there's violent nationalism in the. Ukraine right now.

and I stand with my brother Vladimir. Putin. at trying to get rid of the violent. terrorist threat of Ukrainian. nationalists many of them are here in. Chicago stealing our cars. it's quite disgusting. timmillan comedy.com we have some dates. um this Thursday I'm going to be in. Tampa Florida and then uh friday Orlando. Sunday San Antonio Wednesday Portland. Maine.

Thursday Providence Rhode Island. Saturday oh there's all these dates of. course Albany New York Concord New. Hampshire Toronto Ontario finally the. 16th of March Baltimore Maryland Friday. the 18th the 19th Philadelphia. Pennsylvania Nashville Tennessee. Thursday March 24th the 26th Denver we. have two shows we're shooting a special. our last show's on the road for a while. are Glasgow. Dublin. and London and then.

we're pretty much done. I'm doing this to May at the Las Vegas. Mirage I'm gonna bomb I have no material. and then a casino in Baton Rouge who. cares. we're gonna put the hour out hopefully. in uh. April and then we'll put it out we'll be. done. and then we'll wait three or four more. months. I won't be screaming about nurses. anymore and whatever else I'm doing my. family in Disney World and if you guys. have seen the set you've seen it.

um that'll be out and then we'll be uh. maybe doing some live podcasts every now. and then but concentrating a lot on the. show getting it out on time we still do. two episodes a week one on patreon one. here on YouTube always free. um and we'll be uh you know consistently. doing that and we won't be on the road. it'll be a lot easier I know that it's. been frustrating for you it's been. frustrating for us. balancing uh everything going on the. road on the level we are and doing the.

show but we've got uh the entire spring. and summer uh of of that not happening. so we'll be focusing on really making. this show great whether it's uh from. here. or from the new little uh Studio on the. East Coast you know perhaps that could. be uh very interesting as always. um. you know we leave you with uh. our ticket link. timlincomedy.com.

uh no merch people ask about merch it'll. come. it'll come. supply chain problems. we're figuring out how to do this the. best way the nft will come relax we. don't have it right now. but it'll come. it'll come. don't worry a little head about it. don't drive through Beverly Hills drunk. or sober.

with those [ __ ] Psychopaths. you think they're gonna get us on the. way back. potentially how great would it be if. they got us on the way back. they're listening to the episode in the. car. they pull us over. every time you go to defend them. every time. you know. they just uh. react in in a crazy way.

I felt like that guy was baiting me. trying to get me to say something. so that he could take me in for further. testing. this is exactly what I thought was. happening right 100 yeah yeah he's about. 10 times he circled back like you sure. you don't want to say it to my face. though because you can you're allowed to. yeah that's that's what they try to do. here's the reality folks if you were in. a situation with the cops. truly if you're in a situation with cops.

there's two options. you have to literally just follow. everything. that they tell you to do. or you have to kill them. good night.