#286 - Tim Moves To Spotify | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim. dillon show from the gas digital studio. in new york city where we're here doing. podcasts. um we did a bunch of stuff this week we. did flagrant. two with andrew schultz we did. the compound show uh what is it called. the compound the compound with josh. brown with josh brown cnbc kind of i. think so something to do with that. um and uh we did alec baldwin's podcast.

uh on the patreon. we talked a little bit about that a. charming engaging fellow who reached out. and had me on honored. to be on the alec baldwin podcast at. such an important time to show. solidarity with a long island legend. uh alec baldwin truly because he's being. attacked. he's being there it's a pylon. and it is. cancel culture. that is i believe what he believes it is.

and. i'm taking his word for it. he did have an incident. what are you gonna do. this is a. the world is complex. i don't think you could say. that the guy. wanted. what happened. to have happened. he was on set. somebody put a bullet and a gun. he shot a gun.

a woman lost her life. this is not. anybody's. goal this wasn't anybody's goal. this was something that happened now you. might say why is he back to podcasting. so quickly or working but he's got to. work. he's got to work. what's he going to do. he's probably facing a lot of lawsuits. i don't think he'll be charged. criminally but there's probably some.

lawsuits. and he may have to pay some money. so. he's gonna work. and we talk about that he has me on his. show and it comes out and we'll see. i don't always agree with what alec. baldwin does i seldom do. you know i mean he behaves in. some interesting ways but he is a. charming. engaging. fun guy. and in a world where we've.

lost fun. uh. he's fun. he's a lot of fun. there's. many opinions about him and his. activities. but one thing he is. is a good. time. and that'll come out i don't know when. it'll come out we don't know no one. knows and. hopefully uh his situation gets. straightened out. and everybody can move on because it's a.

tragedy and a woman lost her life and. you know. you know it's um. [Music]. bad. another thing that we. is bad right now is what's going on with. spotify. we've been following this everybody in. our business has been following this. over the past week. spotify is in a heated battle they're. embroiled in a major controversy.

because they are hosting. right now. exclusively. the biggest podcast in the world. kill tony. and. tony hinchcliffe if you remember had an. incident. a few months ago where he's had a few. choice words for an asian opener of his. as a joke as a bit. and he's become one of the biggest media. stories in the world neil young. and joni mitchell have pulled their.

music off spotify because they continue. to host kill tony the biggest and most. influential podcast in the world. tony hinchcliffe has uploaded videos to. his. instagram. trying to clarify some of his positions. and uh apologizing for past use of the. n-word. and spotify the ceo daniel eck has said. we are standing behind.

tony hinchcliffe. and kill tony. why are you laughing. what why i mean it's a serious situation. no i know i'm i'll be i'll be serious i. don't know why you're laughing. i thought it was something totally. different what are you i thought you. were doing a bit but what do you mean. it's different i thought that spotify. was hosting the biggest podcast in the. world which is the joe rogan experience. and joe rogan used uh some choice words. on uh in the past 12 years of the show. and they made a compilation.

uh this uh musician india ari. put a compilation out on twitter she put. the compilation out yeah it's it doesn't. look good it's him did she make it uh no. this has been on the internet so this. has to do with joe rogan. yes. is his show bit even big. it's up there. is it as big as kill tony uh well. spotify acquired the joe rogan. experience for like a hundred million. dollars well then how much did tony. hinchcliffe get. how much money did they have.

i don't think they're doing great. so you're telling me this whole. controversy is about joe rogan. and not tony hinchcliffe's uh kill tony. yeah out of context him saying the n. word repeatedly in a 30-second thing. well i know that folks. this is a bit. i'm aware of that. who knows more about that than me. i know about that. but what i did was i threw your red. herring.

to keep it interesting. some of you maybe don't know what's. going on you were led down another path. but that's not the accurate path. it is about joe rogan's show. you. know he's got powerful enemies a lot of. people dislike him. and a lot of people don't like that he. has 11 million people listening to him. and a lot of people would love him to be.

de-platformed. and they want to get rid of him. and those people probably some of them. are in the white house. some of them are in congress. some of them. have a lot of money. they're in the private sector. some of them are celebrities and. musicians. and. i believe this is somewhat coordinated. to a degree. not. i'm not overly paranoid about this. but i do believe there's some effort.

there's a push. to get rid of joe. any way they can. whether whether it's he's a racist. without any evidence. he's transphobic no. evidence he's um. anti-vaxx. a little evidence. tiny bit but not all of the vaxxes he's. had some conversations about this. particular one and on the third dose.

when israel has been dosing people there. are three or four doses in and they've. got the highest rate of omicron in the. world the idea that the vaccine has. worked. as well as we wanted it to when it comes. to preventing transmission. it is not controversial to say. that it hasn't. it certainly seems to have kept people. out of the hospital which is great but. the idea that it's worked exactly as. planned that it's gone exactly as. planned.

isn't true. and joe's had a few people on the show. to uh discuss it and those episodes have. gotten millions and millions tens of. millions of views. and people are upset and neil young and. joni mitchell. nils lofgren guitarist for the e street. band or springsteen that's right uh. india ari david crosby kind of. i don't know if he even owns his music. or not uh mary trump as well mary trump.

roxanne gay. writer and podcaster roxy they've all. said let's get our music off spotify. because we want to take a stand. with. uh. the people that. these. people that wrote that letter the. scientists and the doctors who when you. look into it aren't all practicing. doctors but they wrote a letter saying. that's disadvantage. it's. disinformation.

and you're allowing it to happen you're. allowing people to speak in a room and. you're allowing other people to listen. to it jen saki who's the white house. communications director. uh do you have a clip of this which. jen saki. literally goes they need to do more. they should go spotify needs to do more. to kick the guy off. this is the white house. press secretary. telling a private company.

she. she would like. well the white house feels it's their. position. that a private company should do more to. censor. and maybe ultimately get rid of. uh a podcaster on their platform. this is uh. i guess it's somewhat unprecedented i. can't remember this happening before. it's a somewhat unique situation but i. know that you know the fcc had their. problems with howard stern and rush.

limbaugh and. or people always wanted them off the air. and people have always wanted everybody. off the air. but this seems like a unique situation. where you can kind of. you know these musicians are in a unique. position to squeeze. spotify. and pressure spotify. uh so now there's disclaimers on. episodes that come out. um and i believe joe said he's gonna. work work to have some more. neutral or uh you know some more.

opposite viewpoints. if he has somebody that's critical of. the vaccine. he's gonna have somebody on the other. side of that who. is pro-vaccine he said that in his video. that he uploaded to instagram. about this he's in a [ __ ] storm. he's in the middle of a [ __ ] storm. people are coming at him from all angles. in all directions they all have an. agenda. and he's trying to navigate and do the.

best he can he's the biggest. one of the biggest entertainers on earth. now he's completely transcended the. world of comedy he's one of the most. famous people on the planet. there are. leaders of foreign countries tweeting. about this. it is a national news story for over a. week. every day. the white house is weighing in. uh it is so. big and i am so incredibly jealous.

of this. i am so incredibly jealous of this man. and his ability to continually be in the. news. i what would i have to do. to get. anything. on this level. i mean i have chased. my whole entire [ __ ] career. the type of attention that he is getting. right now. and it's impossible for someone like me.

to get. they won't even let me get big enough to. be hated and attacked. it's the one thing i've always wanted to. be threatened by the white house press. secretary to be de-platformed to have. roxane gay pull her podcast off spotify. because of me. and i can't it doesn't happen. i want jair bolsonaro tweeting that i'm. doing the right thing. and it's it's i'm i'm in a fit of. jealous rage.

at this publicity it's amazing. his ability to just keep. what should i do i'll go out and say. cancer's not real. tell me what to do to get this level of. publicity i'll say aids was good. tell me what to do. i'll say being gay is a choice. i'll say abortion uh people that have. them should be. hung in a public square. what can i do. i don't even think it's that [ __ ].

controversial to say that the vaccines. didn't work that well. but that seems that's i guess the ticket. yeah that's what draws you the ire of. all of civilization. everybody gets mad and they only want to. talk about you. they only want to talk about him now. it's all about him. what about me. what about others. where is the oxygen left to discuss my.

progress how well i've done the. followers we're getting the show that. we've built our massive stature on. patreon where is our [ __ ] storm. where are our meetings with lawyers. where are our tense late night. conversations where are my apology. videos. i'm left out. [ __ ] over. again.

i mean. that's my takeaway. from this. that's my frustration here. do you understand. hassan [ __ ] buys a car and it's your. trends on twitter five days. i've bought multiple cars and crashed. them. i've lived in five houses in the last. year. what's the problem.

now do you have this jen saki clip i. gave you enough time yes uh it's a new. york post one could you pull that up can. you pull that up thanks natalie thank. you natalie oh no the the new york post. one that i sent the most recent. if you refresh the email. thank you how do we get a how do we get. onto how do we get on the board here. christ. every day. i'm just in the background like a. nothing.

just some piece of [ __ ] who puts on a. wig and says he's a dead senator's. daughter. can we get a little volume does the. volume come with it or is that sorry. thank you. i don't know if it comes with the rental. fee of the studio. maybe extra that's okay. guess. digitalnetwork.com folks a lot of fun. shows there. keeps offers a simple affordable and.

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that tech companies have an important. role to play in stopping this. information because the uh they are the. predominant places where misinformation. spreads um spotify is putting out uh. advisory warnings on episodes that have. to do with kobe 19. does the white house. and the administration think this is a. satisfactory step or do you uh do you. think that companies like spotify should. go further than just you know putting a. label on there to say hey go do your own. you know check this out you know there's. more research you can look at you know. scientific research regarding copenhagen. sure well last july.

you probably know but the surgeon. general also took the unprecedented step. to issue an advisor on the risk of. misinformation in public health which is. a very significant step this woman's. very nice that he talked about the role. social media platforms have so our hope. is that all major tech platforms and all. major news sources for that matter be. responsible and be vigilant to ensure. the american people have access to. accurate information on something as. significant as covid19 that certainly. includes spotify so this disclaimer it's. a positive step but we want every.

platform to continue doing more to call. misinform and miss and disinformation. while also uplifting accurate. information i mean look at the facts. right you are 16 times more likely to be. hospitalized if you're unvaccinated and. 68 times more likely to die than someone. who is boosted if you're unvaccinated. that's pretty significant and we think. that is something that unquestionably. should be the basis of how people are. communicating about it but ultimately uh. you know our view is it's a it's a it's. a good step it's a positive step but.

there's more that can be done. more that can be done jan saki the white. house going. more that can be done. what a pale woman very pale. it's uncomfortable when someone's that. pale you can see their veins. you could see the blood running through. their veins or lack thereof. um they want to do more well what what. what would be more. jen. they've got a disclaimer for the adults.

if you're a child. and you somehow get on spotify should we. put a child lock on the phone. there's already they have that right. don't they have an app yeah yeah sure. they have an app protecting the children. from spotify. because you know the kids they want to. listen to robert malone for three hours. young impressionable uh teenagers they. want to listen to robert malone on joe. rogan so it's a real danger now adults.

who are no long are not responsible for. their behavior anymore they don't if. you're an adult now whatever you do or. don't do faxed or unvaxed dead or alive. fat is thin. on fentanyl or not. whatever you're doing at any given. moment of the day is no longer your. responsibility it's because some. podcaster [ __ ] you over. some podcaster said something and you. took it to heart and now you made a. choice that got you killed because you.

listen to a podcaster because that's. where you get your information from. you're an adult in america and you have. to be protected from people that put on. headphones and talking to a mic two or. three times a week because they. uh are your only sole source of. information. and uh they'll get you killed. these podcasts are dangerous they'll get. you killed.

apparently. you just start dropping dead people are. dropping like flies they listen to a. podcast and they go oh well that guy. made a good point i'm gonna do that and. then you die. that's what happens you die because you. listen to what the podcaster said. so. uh. jen saki this pale woman from the white. house and joe biden who's not making. statements and we don't know where he is. but our totally okay healthy.

a feral. focused president joe biden. unable to pass the bill back better act. makes very few public appearances. the corpse the skin suit. joe biden. okay. the guy. who like designed the 94 crime bill. okay. that worked out well for people of color. uh that guy and jensac he wants spotify. to do more because the last thing god. forbid an adult.

listens to a conversation that they. can't handle. they hear it and they go i gotta do what. that guy. because that's the way people behave i. guess. i don't know. that's the way people behave people uh. behave that way. well. what are you gonna do. people behave that way they can't. they can't be trusted to understand and. deal with the information that they get. and.

go and find other sources of information. and. maybe people's decision making is. complex. maybe they make decisions for many. different reasons. maybe there are many variables to their. decision making. perhaps. maybe adults. have many different. rationalizations. justifications. for any. single decision they make.

whether it's to get vaccinated or not. get vaccinated. whether it's to be healthy or not be. healthy whether it's to use drugs. and. alcohol whether it's to be respectful of. women. or other races or gay people or trans. men whatever you decide to do with your. life and hey maybe it is uh more than a. podcast. that uh gets you to that point perhaps. maybe speculating merely speculating.

that. people out there. are. perhaps motivated by several different. factors you can't hang it all on a one. guy. who did a few episodes. you can't hang it all on one dude. especially when the thing started and. trump goes here's the vaccine and the. democrats go i'm not trusting that i. don't want that that was a that was a. little quick wasn't it. and then uh they kicked trump out that. binds and then they go the vaccine's. great we love it.

take it you don't get uh you won't get. it you take it you got it. okay well you're full of acts you won't. get it uh uh you got it but you won't. get sick you'll be asymptomatic well now. you're sick. well you're not gonna spread it well you. spread it so it's like kinda and by the. way the fight is over no one cares. anymore you're either vaxxed and boosted. it's over it's it's done now. studies are coming out saying natural. immunity lasts 18 months. people are done you know the uk just. opened up can you bring this up the uk.

that rainy hell where they eat fish. pudding is ahead of us they've opened up. i think with nothing no mandates nothing. they're free. yeah mask rules everything mask rules. all of it's done and the idea that we're. still in this heated debate about. vaccines we're not it's been settled so. this attack on joe i don't think is. about that i don't really think it's. about that i think it's about we don't. want this guy around. for the midterms for the next election.

we just don't like him in general we. don't like that somebody's got this. level of power. and we're gonna go find everything he. said he's a comedian who's talked into a. microphone for 12 years we're going to. find everything he said. um and he does this whole thing with the. n-word. and i'm gonna say nutella. instead of what it is. he has said nutella. a lot of times on his podcast he was. quoting other people who used the word. nutella he never called a nutella a.

nutella. he never did that he never said hey. you're a nutella he never did that. he said. the word nutella is interesting you know. how he does um. nutella man. it's an interesting word man. because some people can use it. and it's fine. but then other people say nutella and. they're racist and it's bad. and he was quoting people who had used. the word nutella now we all know.

nutella's a no no you don't say nutella. there's a compilation of him where it's. literally nutella nutella nutella. nutella nutella nutella nutella nutella. and and sometimes nutella. a lot of the times it's nutella. which is worse than nutella because. nutella is like hey nutella but nutella. is a bad one and they're all bad. and i don't use that word i say nutella.

so. and then he did something where he went. to go see the movie planet of the apes. and he got out of a car. and he was in an area where there was. a lot of uh. african-american people. and he said hey it really looks like. planet of the apes here uh and he said. it looks like we're in africa and again. it's a he made a joke it was an. off-color joke. and. people flipped out about it they're. trying to people make racial jokes.

people do it all the time people make. jokes about blacks and jews and puerto. ricans and. other races too. people [ __ ] on russians. catholics. irish italians. finnish dutch. why not mexicans. el salvadorians. armenians. white people.

like ben. from some dust bowl [ __ ] nowhere place. people have all these jokes uh koreans. japanese asians chinese everybody has. jokes. about different races because the races. are different. you see. now we're all human beings we're all the. same. oh. what was that where was that. what's that. she's calling you. no no not that not that no we can't do. that i sent the planet of the apes clip.

right now kick us off youtube yeah. we make a lot of money we're not like. the people in this studio we make real. money here please. we have to take a note of that no no i i. get listen we got real money i love. these people but no we're not come on. now we can't she just started to play. the nutella clip. she's a sweet woman but i mean they're. going to kick us off this would this. would scroll up daddy honey we've got. things to lose natalie scroll up this. planet of the apes uh clip is what i was. talking about here yeah yeah let's not. even play this guys.

why keep spreading. whatever. he's explained it it's enough already. yeah my point. let's go back to me. my point is that people make fun of. races all the time it's not a big deal. it's not a huge deal depends on your. intent. people do it all the time racial humor. you know nobody's ever worked a [ __ ] low. wage job. i've worked a lot of [ __ ] low-wage jobs. at different races that make fun of each. other every day because it's a fun way.

to meet make new friends. now people that go to harvard don't do. that people that write blogs they go to. these [ __ ] liberal arts schools i suck. [ __ ] i can say it and. those people don't ever do those types. of jokes because they don't they don't. really like dark humor or gallows humor. or racial humor because they don't need. to because they're privileged pieces of. [ __ ] so they like very like you know. urbane. sardonic kind of like unfunny.

uh you know reporte. and it's very. they're very careful not to offend. anyone but in a lot of [ __ ] jobs i've. worked or people weren't making a lot of. money people like to joke around about. stuff and it's funny. it's fun we used to work with a ton of. muslims. and it was a black guy once and this one. of our supervisors was a muslim woman. and he said uh she was mad at him. because he was late and he got man she. gonna blow the bus up it's funny. it's fi relax.

no one cares. this is 5 000 people on twitter care. no one cares it's not a big deal there's. you pick and choose your moments. you can get punched if you do the wrong. racial joke in the wrong setting. it's not a good idea to just start. throwing words out there but just the. general idea of different races uh no. listen racial humor is also a little. antiquated it's a little older people. have moved on i don't really do any of. it in my act i i mean i have a joke.

about saudis and but it's funny and it's. like but the vast majority of it yeah. time moves on. people move on people evolve things. evolve. but racial humor in and of itself. doesn't make people racist. right. it it doesn't just make people that do. jokes about gay people doesn't mean they. hate gay people. but we're living in a society now where. everything's literal. because people. have lost their minds they've forgotten.

the point of humor. which is to make this hellish experience. a little better. a little lighter and a little more fun. so. i saw the nutella clip and i understand. why people got angry about it but they. need to relax. they could release a clip where he says. [ __ ] a million times. uh what am i supposed to do it hurt me. i'm hurt in my life. ah i got.

my life. if someone on the internet. says something and it really hurts. and. angers you. you're a loser. i don't know what to tell you. if somebody on the internet. can get to you that deeply and it it's. not about you. it's not about your family they're not. threatening to kill you.

they said a word you didn't like and you. don't even know the context that they. said it if it really sits with you. like if it could be a mild annoyance you. could turn it off i don't like that but. if it really sits with you where you. just can't get on with your day and it's. really i think you got to look at the. life you're living. and go. why am i letting people affect me like. this why am i letting a guy who's using. a word. in context. it doesn't mean it's the right word to. use in that context i don't know all the. context but why am i letting it why does.

it bother me why do i get angry about. something like that. you could play [ __ ] compilations all. day. i don't it doesn't bother me because i. have things to do. do you understand. i got [ __ ] to do. i'm not sitting there. you know. going that person. doesn't think i'm a human being i don't. care.

stop caring. what's wrong with you people. you know short life is stop caring stop. being invested in what strangers think. or what words they say. it's silly. what a horrible way to live you'll be. miserable every day of your life without. fail. if you just get offended in everything. people say. they say to you it's a different story. if they say it about you. it's a different story if they're using. this word.

i'm not saying you should celebrate it. i'm not saying you should go good job. i'm saying you should walk the other way. like online. you ignore it. because they'll face consequences. usually for it. or they'll evolve and stop using it or. they'll continue to use it and you won't. be affected at all. because you have a good life that you've. created that has nothing to do with them. that might be a good way to do it. you've got back-to-back meeting errands.

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to be an exaggeration this guy. goes full bore here. and the quotes are crazy they're insane. and he's from the state university of. new york state university he's under a. review or something yeah yeah his name. is stephen. on twitter turn me on this you follow. her no no human trafficking advocate. uh let me get a twitter handle she's a. fun follow. and uh. you know she covers a topic that a lot. of people don't it's. blue bl eu like blue cheese i also like.

to cheat that's her name. and she's a human trafficking survivor. and she advocates on behalf of victims. and she compiles news that a lot of. people don't care about like missing. kids and [ __ ] like that um and then this. guy. uh this professor kind of goes. he goes off the deep end and i hate to. laugh at this because it's really. horrible. but you can only kind of chuckle at. someone's insanity. at. doing this but for 25 years.

quotes of the article absolutely yeah. yeah these are the direct quotes. from the uh state university of new york. professor. uh stephen uh kirschner whatever he. teaches libertarian philosophy and. applied ethics there you go libertarian. philosophy. no driver's licenses private roads and. then eventually. you know so imagine that an adult male. wants to have sex with a 12 year old.

girl imagine that she's a willing. participant. a very standard very widely held view is. that there's something deeply wrong. about this and it's wrong independent of. it being criminalized it's not obvious. to me that it's in fact wrong. i think this is a mistake and i think. exploring that why it's a mistake will. tell us not only things about adult sex. and statutory rape and also fundamental. principles of morality. he goes on to say let me scroll down. here uh he says fun class huh. what class was this even was he you know.

what i mean like where did he just break. it where did he just go into this uh one. of some of these quotes are from a. podcast he did with some guy and the. guy's like agreeing it's always the. podcasts. that get everybody in trouble. so in one of the clips he says no one. cares about this right right. he goes one is even if you're looking. for a threshold let's say there's a. threshold i'm making this number up but. let's just say it's at age eight still. that tells you that some adult sex is. perfect what's interesting is rogan is.

having this guy on tomorrow and that's. what i respect about joe fly into the. storm keep going. okay. uh. uh second the notion that it's wrong. even with a one-year-old is not quite. obvious to me. there are reports in some cultures of. grandma's uh fellating their boys to. calm them down if they're colicky i. don't know if this is true but this is. sort of a widely reported as occurring. in at least a foreign culture and it. working that the grandmas believe that. this actually works.

yeah well there's this guy and he is uh. employed at the state university of new. york and again it's yeah i'm not a. cancer culture person but i will say. that is certainly. a position to take it is this is. probably it seems evil if you're gonna. give him a strong argument here's. probably his strongest argument right. here. okay so he makes an odd comparison of. yonder's youngsters taking part in. athletic activities he says. they might think that children can't be. willing things in general it's an odd.

view and that they seem to will things. all the time they will participation in. kickball. they will be showing up and. participating in bar mitzvah lessons bad. mitzvah lessons he says you might think. well maybe there's something distinct. about sex that they can't really. understand it it's not clear to me that. what they're not getting at is consent. so that's kind of his uh well i don't. know that that's a great argument. benjamin um he says i suspect that uh. what they want to say is that they're. willing participants they're voluntary. they play kickball. what's the problem well that's a fun.

professor. what are you going to rape my professor. is that one of those. you know my professor was fun but then. he started talking about [ __ ]. eight-year-olds and it got a little. weird. he's real cool. doesn't care about lateness not a. stickler on note-taking but i'll tell. you right now when he starts going off. about the kids. it gets a little weird. well.

odd. odd odd odd. that these are opinions that are. are happening and uh you know they're. out there and it's um. it's uh rather disturbing we're on the. road by the way i want to talk about. this a little bit we're shooting a. special in denver. uh um march 26th at the paramount. theater. and ben is going to direct it so if it. looks like [ __ ] it's his fault. penn's never really directed anything. before except all of the videos we've. done but you've never done any.

comedy specials right no never shot a. comedy special this will be your first. time that's right do you feel any. pressure tons yeah you should feel tons. of pressure yeah you shouldn't sleep i. the first when you asked me to do it i. didn't really sleep the first day yeah i. was very nervous well i you should be. very nervous but i didn't start smoking. again so that's well that's good. congratulations but we're concerned with. the results of the special. whatever substances. you uh are partaking of are of no.

concern to me our concern only again is. with the results of the special which. you are doing uh for the first time we. have a lot of faith in you thank you i. stand by you. like daniel eck. i don't care what others say about you. i stand by you. we will my skin is so [ __ ] it's from. the cold in new york it just feels like. it's gonna fall off my face. um we're shooting it on march 26th.

and. then we're done then we've got some new. uk dates that have just been rescheduled. where we're going to ireland. london. and glasgow scotland. and we're doing those dates that we're. done we're off the road for a while. we're focusing on the podcast and some. other things. that we have planned some cool [ __ ]. that we're gonna do let's talk about. some of these dates just do it quickly. where are we gonna be phoenix this.

weekend february 10th through the 12th. you know i love that you know what i. love about arizona what's that is that. it's so horrible. uh those are almost sold out. not all of it. not all of it but enough of it. is horrible. but not every part i like scottsdale. where else am i going to be uh then. you're going to the tampa theater in. tampa florida february 17th that's a. thursday you know what's good about.

tampa everybody goes tampa's next it. ain't. but i like tampa because it feels. there's a great sexual energy there's a. lot of strip clubs and sex shops and. it's always sweltering hot. and people are down to [ __ ] on the west. coast of florida it just is what it is. in that sense there's sexual energy in. tampa i would even say it's a little you. know miami has like that whole it's very. sexy overtly but tampa has an. underground kind of sex dungeon feel.

that i like to consensual dungeon lock. yourself in. um. tampa theater and we are excited to be. down there and you go right over to. orlando orlando's fun because we're. doing the disney theater the disney. theater in orlando and i have a lot to. say about disney uh that'll be february. 18th then uh february 20th in uh san. antonio texas at the majestic now san. antonio what's fun about that is it is. one of the fattest cities in america. people are truly four to eight hundred.

pounds any one of them um they they are. the size of cars. and they move. uh like. cattle the way they just kind of get in. there. and i like that that to me is good and. i'm i enjoy that and they have great. mexican food. and everything you eat there just. explodes in your stomach you just get. every meal you get fatter in san antonio. you never get smaller you just expand. like a hot air balloon until you. eventually can't fit in your car then.

you got to get a bigger car and then you. got to get a bigger car and then you die. but i like san antonio so buy tickets to. the show. then you're heading to uh portland maine. on february 25th we're not really. selling well in portland maine i'm going. to be very honest with you a lot of. people aren't buying tickets in portland. maine and part of the reason is that all. the men in portland maine most of them. have vaginas. um it is a very confused place. uh portland maine. is for you know it's a kind of the worst.

people in the world it's very very. left-wing in a very annoying way there's. only 50 000 people that live there it's. devoid of any culture [ __ ] your lobster. roll shove it up your ass it's devoid of. any culture i'd rather be in kenny. bunkport performing for the bushes at a. human sacrifice than going to [ __ ]. portland and entertaining these [ __ ]. substitute teachers socialist losers but. it's what i have to do because we were. doing it to be in conjunction with i.

didn't go i want to go to portland maine. we were in toronto and my uh agent. faticus finch. was trying to find gigs that. would go around toronto so we found. portland maine. and i was a little maybe confident that. certain people in portland maine would. enjoy. uh fun. but we've uh uh figured out here that. portland maine. uh you know it's a 2 000 seat theater. and what have we sold can you get the. numbers up yeah let me get the they got.

500 tickets i mean it's a abominable. it is an appalling. showing in portland maine. because um. let's see so they hate me portland maine. uh we have uh uh 533 of the 1900 sold. 533 tickets sold of 1900. so i i don't know what we're gonna do. here can we bus in people that live. outside of portland maine to go see the. show should i start paying for.

transportation. maine is uh you know it's uh. it's a lot of blue lip fentanyl addicts. peeling potatoes. and then you also have the the rich. lobster people on but other than that. there's not much going on over there. everybody there is is is fentanyl white. meaning just chen sake white kind of. pale ghostly. and they have chapped blue lips and they. just want to take a couple of pills and. fall on the floor. and i understand that but they're not.

coming out to see the comedy show and it. makes me very upset. makes me very sad. um. so please. if you can. buy tickets to the show in portland. maine because i don't want to be there. but i have to be legally i'm. contractually obligated to uh uh be. there what can we look up portland maine. what has anything been invented in. portland maine has anything come out of. portland. i. much rather portland oregon.

the rainy. uh uh thai food antifa stronghold on the. west coast i actually loved it there the. audiences were great and if i dye my. hair pink i'll have three to five blocks. under my control by midnight tonight. i like that it's a fun city. uh we got a the machine gun. the machine gun came out of portland. maine well don't bring any of those. uh the zigzag stitch. oh. okay which is a sewing related invention.

between right okay uh earmuffs. earmuffs oh farmington man i can't claim. that to portland but yeah whatever. uh and it seems the oven came from maine. too so and the seal dive suit. the sealed dive suit you know the dive. suit with the big uh big helmet yes. great. buy the tickets to the [ __ ] shell. please because otherwise i'm gonna look. like an idiot. where else uh then you go right to. providence rhode island. providence rhode island i like white.

people who struggle. and providence great italian food great. old mob town again heroin horror dark. bleak decrepit decaying all the things. that are requirements to really enjoy a. dose of my outlook and world view for an. hour are present in providence that is. good i like property don't clean it up. before i get there that's always what i. say and they never do and never will. what's next you head over to a place.

called the egg in albany. albany new york albany's uh nothing but. the egg is a great theater it's a great. theater now we are selling tickets there. so if you're in albany new york or god. help you in like troy or one of those. de-industrialized hellscapes that we've. allowed people to live in and fester. um while globalization has completely. destroyed and hollowed out their lives. and communities if you're one of those. people crawling on the floor of an old.

house. you know. looking for pills it might have dropped. a few months ago. trying to find a stray vicodin on the. kitchen floor. heating up a 7-eleven dinner and you can. stick someone outside the mall. for 39.95. come on down to the show you're gonna. love it. it's for you. concord new hampshire february 27th. concord new hampshire.

who even cares just buy the tickets uh. toronto. meridian march 16th the psychotic. government of canada is going to allow. us to do a show. in concord. new hampshire finally i mean no. i'm having a stroke. nutella. um. what's happening here. is that. we're able to do the show in toronto. finally we've had to move it twice. because they've cut the capacity and go.

it's a big theater and they go you gotta. only have half the people like we can't. do that it's not fun. it sucks. so what we've been able to do finally is. get you know a show on in meridian hall. in toronto and there are still tickets. left for meridian hall toronto this is. the end of the tour this is it and then. we're done we go off the road. get it home in our beautiful new studio. which is great looks great. people love it.

and then we're good to go we're able to. take a little break breathe focus on the. internet film some [ __ ] i'll get some. new material in the comedy clubs and. then maybe we'll tour i don't know later. my agent thinks the fall. i don't think i'll be ready by the fall. but. yeah it's like four months to get a new. hour yeah it's not gonna happen by the. fall but that's okay. whatever he can start a podcast. invest in yourself.

move to austin. uh then you go to baltimore march 18th. baltimore march 18th let's get the. tickets going in baltimore too because i. do love baltimore i love the food i love. crab cakes and uh i'm a big fan of. baltimore dc i've performed there a lot. i did a lot of shows in maryland. uh i remember i did a show in anne. arundel maryland with this guy. and the mic was going. in and out there was this crazy guy. right. and we used to go on the road with him. and he brought us on the road to this.

county anne arundel county in maryland. and. we're staying. at this guy's house or somebody he knew. and he he knew this guy. whose house we were staying at like some. friend he had there and we're staying. and the friend. had just broke up with his girlfriend. who lived across the street and she left. him and literally walked across the. street. and he was a very depressing guy. and it was very sad. and i was trying to make conversation. with him.

later on. and i said. i was like hey dude and he was just. sitting there like kind of catatonic. through the whole comedy show which was. not going well it was in like this you. know vfw hall and this suburban maryland. and the only thing that was working was. like local jokes and one guy got up. there he's like yeah you ever been to. dundalk and everybody's like. but you know i'm up there and other. people are up there we're bombing and. it's you know thank god the guy did the. local job you need someone to do that. because. we were bombing and like the mic would.

go out and then the mic would come back. on and the people look sad they go. they liked it the only laughs we got the. only smiles was when we were talking. into the mic and then trying to figure. out the mic and they went. because it was funny because they could. see. we were panicking we didn't know what to. do and that was funny to them because. they hated when the mic went on and they. could hear what we were saying. but when it went off and it kept going. off it was like a funny bit they might. have even thought oh this is the bit i.

like this. good and then the mic would you know go. back on and they'd go well i don't like. this part of the bit. so there so i go sit down after my set. my set was one of those where's just. whoa you're sweating you're like this is. not good and you sit down and i turn. around to this guy. the friend of the guy that brought us to. the gig the guy that was staying at his. house the guy whose girlfriend left him. and walked across the street he sold. scoreboards to local high schools that. was his. job said i was trying to make.

conversation i went hey. you've got waffle crisp and cinnamon. toast crunch in your house that's pretty. cool. and then you just look at me he turned. around and turned his head ever so. slightly to me. and he goes like this he goes. there's no milk. it's expired. [Laughter]. and then he just again catatonic just. straight on. watching another comedian fiddle with. this broken microphone.

in suburban maryland. and that was my life for years. for years and years you would do things. like that and then you'd write a funny. facebook status about it. and everybody would go [ __ ] yeah man. that's great you're living like we met a. friend of mine from long island the. other day. he was very sweet great guy and i grew. up with these guys we're like best. friends and. just connecting with someone having a. lunch with them but everyone on long. island everything is so. tragic that no matter what anyone talks.

about is like. very sad you'll be like you know. you know how's frank doing and he goes. oh frank's good. frank's good. frank and his wife when and they say it. so nonchalantly he goes you know frank. and his wife went on vacation in the. bahamas and she got a rare parasite she. actually had to have half of her stomach. removed so she can't really eat anymore. if she eats more than three bites of. anything she has like violent acid. reflux and she just starts to.

aggressively burp so what they what. they're doing is they're bringing her in. for major surgery she's got to kind of. learn how to eat again like a child but. frank's doing great. and you go and you're eating you go. oh. he goes frank's doing great and he goes. you ever see sarah. sarah. sarah is as fun as ever. she met a guy and he died in a. motorcycle accident. he was her one true love they got.

married two nights later he had a. massive relapse got on his bike and. killed himself. sarah's doing really good she's working. over at uh the grocery store. oh. the clams are good have you had the. have you tried the clams. the clams are very good. it's never-ending. uh. the hell. there but it's also very impressive the. way people just. handle it like la everyone's a [ __ ].

they can't handle anything. they can't handle a word that i don't. lie right now. these people are watching their friends. and family members die. in front of them every day in like final. destination ways nobody in long island. dies like a regular way these people are. dying of rare cancers. four car pileups construction accidents. rare diseases this wild [ __ ] and they're. just soldiering through it.

and it's really impressive they're. soldiering through it you know and and. you soldier through the lunch. you you fight through that lunch because. it's you're getting the reality of what. it is you're getting the reality of what. it it's not what you'd want it to be. it's what it is and it was good to. connect with that person and hopefully i. see them again but it's like uh. you just got to be prepared for a gray. long island uh uh lunch over at the fish. hut. you go over to clam shack in the rain.

and you're gonna get an earful and. you're just never quite prepared. oh yeah no michelle's good. michelle's doing really really good. she's on chemo now. and she has been for the last four. months it's not she's stage four and a. half. i'm like what stage four and a half. because that's when every day they do. last rites. so every day they come in and two last. rites expect you're gonna die but then.

she'll live through the night and they. come and do it again so we've gone to. like seven vigils for her. we're expecting maybe next week but we. don't know. oh but she's i mean good spirits. great spirits. she looks great she's lost weight. you go oh. well that's nice. but it's good to reconnect with people. but it's also time to get the [ __ ] out. of here my flight was delayed again i'm. sending him to austin i'm staying here. another night going to see christos. stefano at the beacon theater did a fun.

patreon episode with him patreon.com uh. the tim dillon show if you're interested. in any of the bonus content there or our. rothschild here are higher tier episode. with ray kump. our once a month video episode is out on. that as well. buy products. because that supports the show it helps. us out. when you have um. use the promo codes and buy the products. right oh we have a few more dates here. too when we read the book oh yeah for. the i'm just pitching products.

i'm trying to pitch products. and the guy doesn't. they give him all the free [ __ ]. i don't need it. so he gets it him and the wife get all. the free stuff because they like. freebies. i do apologize on are you garb and this. is you know. i i was just showing off but on are you. garbage i told everybody how much i gave. you for your wedding oh nice i mean i i. it's i don't want to anger you because i.

know you hate your money being out there. but it's really not about you it's more. about me. and it was a fun moment on are you. garbage but. it's it's not to offend you. it's not a lot of money in the way for. me or what i think but it's not too. effect are you offended. did you say the real answer what do you. mean on the podcast or did you do a joke. answer no i told the real answer oh you. did the real answer why how'd it come up. i think i think. you you they were asking what i give to. for people what do i give to people for. weddings. so i told them what i gave you.

which i think is a nice amount. and i know that you get offended by that. right. aren't you offended by it uh slightly. yeah now why are you offended by it i i. mean it's not. it's just private right it's just a. private thing right do we not bleed for. the people. do we not bleed on the stage for the. people we do we do. our i guess it's fair our lives are in. the in the tabloids now nowadays i guess. are they in the tabloids well the new.

tabloids are the the uh these sites like. reddit and these things. are they the new tabloids i suppose so. right really. hot take. finish the dates please. philadelphia pennsylvania at the parks. casino marching band casino you have fun. because it's a comedy and gambling. what's good is you you become a winner. you leave a winner. it's good come gamble a little bit uh. smoke drink make merry comedy show.

whatever you want to do they pay you a. lot in casinos because they know you. people are going to come in and gamble. your hard-earned money away and then eat. cheesecake and go up to the room and do. drugs. uh then you're at the ryman auditorium. in nashville tennessee i'm an auditorium. auditorium in nashville i have been. excited about this show for a long time. i've said bad things about nashville. bygones. um i've said bad things about everywhere. new york la everything um what i what.

i'm really excited about is this show. because they're great audiences down. there it's just a little too live laugh. love for me with the you know. everybody's a blonde with the ugg boots. and enough. but you know nashville i'm excited for. the show big time. uh then uh the special uh march 26th. two shows march 26th in denver two shows. and then what is the uh uh what is the. uk date new uk days i don't think those. have been uh. yeah but they'll be early april march 26. two shows tickets are really flying. people want to be involved ben avery.

directing the special which will. probably go on youtube because netflix. is not buying anything maybe we'll put. it on. butterfly. what do you think about this spotify. controversy how does it end. how does it end. you're a mind. i guess it. statistically good job. ben avery everybody that's his take on. the spotify controversy and how it may.

end. good way to phrase it he's got a good. turn of phrase and he's going places as. the kid. timdylandcomedy.com for all your needs. buy tickets in portland may not kill. myself. uh uh we'll be we'll be back soon alec. baldwin podcast coming out are you. garbage love those guys that's coming. out monday flagrant 2 is out right now. heading towards a million views. and uh. back to la soon maybe hassan park will.

try to squeeze me in his porsche. good night.