#274 - Tourettes Gang | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim. dillon show we're doing a quick one this. week we're we're running around uh and. we're on tour right now so we. we're not gonna be with you for the hour. we're probably gonna do closer to 45. minutes if you have a problem with that. you can go watch something else we don't. care uh colin powell is dead uh. and it's very sad and he uh you know he. was uh uh the first uh black uh liar and. he lied. to the un he was the first black.

person who told a big lie about iraq and. he knew it was a lie. and we respect colin powell because. that's the game of politics is lying i. mean and he did it well. he was a leader and a legend and he did. many other things that were great but he. also you know. unfortunately you know dick cheney and. that that that crew of goblins. got him to go in and sell the iraq war. and people believed that i believed it i. was in you know like.

uh 12th grade at the time 11th or 12th. grade and i thought that we had to go. into iraq and democratize the middle. east i believe that i was a closeted. gay cocaine addict. um and to me that logic made sense that. people in the middle east hated us. because we were free and we had to make. them free so that they would not hate us. anymore. and the way to do that was to go into. the country of iraq and get rid of. saddam hussein this is for you zoomers.

out there this is what happened when i. was in high school you had coveted and. whatever. uh i had the uh the iraq war and the. iraq war was uh this war. where similar to afghanistan. um. that was going to fix all the problems. it was going to put pressure on iran. and all of these other anti-democratic. regimes and it was going to force them. uh to become.

thriving. uh. societies. that respected the rule of law and the. rights of women and they were going to. become good trading partners and that's. really what it's about but colin powell. was essential in this because colin. powell went. to the u.n. and gave this very convincing speech. about saddam hussein. having weapons of mass destruction. and it was a black mark on an otherwise. pretty stellar career.

um. and it's sad that he died of covet he. died because. uh he had a cancer that was attacking. his immune system. um he was fully vaccinated but that. doesn't really matter if you have a. cancer that's attacking. your immune system um. we'll see there's statements here to. pull we're recording this on the day. that he died we're a week early today. because we had to use the studio new. studios being built working with a new. realtor. very excited about that who seems to be. a little bit more on the ball.

from what we uh understand we've had. very bad luck with realtors across the. board oh wow yeah yeah very bad luck. everything and. realtors. fall into two categories usually they. are um older menopausal women. uh that are suffering mild brain damage. from either a car accident or an. undiagnosed or self-diagnosed autoimmune. disorder. these women. are. usually.

middle-aged mid-age they're. on their second marriage or. trying to keep the loveless first. marriage. and real estate for them might be a. second career or it may be a first. career that they kind of had. while they were raising their children. and. every new client. is a new husband for them. and they find a way to let every new.

client down in the same way that they. let their husband down. over 30 years. and that's the what is this did you. pulled up this is an interesting. average age of an employed real estate. agent is 48. yeah the average age of an. employed real estate agent is 48 years. old so that's usually. it's a menopausal woman who's having hot. flashes. wants to [ __ ] ben. and i walk in behind him and go here's. the bad news i have all the money. and they basically make a big mess.

out of everything you're trying to do. the other realtor is a young. chocular bro guy. who got into real estate because he. wants to crush it. he wants to [ __ ] crush it. and both of these people are incredibly. unhelpful when you're trying to get. something done. they're incredibly unhelpful the. menopausal woman deals. solely in the realm of emotions and says. things like. yeah oh. hmm.

well. ah i believe what i think we can do. here's what and then the broly guy is. like yeah make it happen we're gonna. [ __ ] make it happen get it done. neither one of them gets it done. yeah there's 156 000 real estate agents. currently employed in the united states. 53 percent are women. 42. are men. it is a women-dominated field real. estate it is one of the fields that.

women dominate as they should. many of them are very good at it but. many are not. and we've had some real tough run-ins. with real estate agents. you know my realtor out in palm springs. lovely woman lovely but fitz the. demographic of what i talked about. uh. then we had the real estate agent agora. hills remember her same thing oh yeah we. had the realtor in malibu. similar thing yes uh incredibly bad in. her job do these windows up and i don't. know i mean just a lazy.

person you know that had no. understanding of what she was doing from. day to day and. you know then we had uh the woman in. texas who was good she was probably the. best of all of them but still not. perfect. from you know not not. perfect but good better right i found. the house though that's what you don't. realize when you when you use a real. estate agent you actually do most of the. work. you do all of the work you find the. house. you call them up and you go please god.

can we not lose this like we've done. three other times. and they go no. not a problem we're gonna get it. don't worry tim i'm gonna make it happen. and. and and then sometimes it works. sometimes it doesn't work but we're. excited because we're building out this. uh new studio that we're very excited. about to take us into the new era of the. tim dylan show. the post covered era the uh you know. wherever we are.

and we'll be uh very happy there and. very excited about it. we're also i've just been hired at snl. and they've they've not announced that. so congrats to me. congratulations to me. but i. i was hired. and the sketch that i pitched. i'm not even kidding and i was shocked. that this got on the air but this sketch. that i i pitched. um was.

a george floyd cooking. a cook-off. where people make food to honor the. memory of george floyd. i was shocked. that it was going to get on the but hey. i'm excited so we're doing that. uh next week over at saturday night live. and of course the sketch. is to. make fun of the. the way that activists promote. themselves.

and not the cause. that they are promoting and nothing's. funnier to me than a bunch of. amateur chefs. making food. to commemorate the death of george floyd. that of course. a sad thing that he died tragic but the. sketch and i had to explain this. because you you don't get the benefit of. the doubt but i said well we have the. cbs show the activist what's really. funny let's start doing cooking. competitions where people are showing. their activism through food.

and then the contestants can accuse each. other of being racist and appropriating. culture it's a lot of fun it's a great. idea for a sketch on saturday night live. so they hired me and we're making that. sketch next week george floyd cook-off. it's the opening sketch i'm very excited. about now the problem is the entire cast. will not be in it. so it's just me and lauren against the. entire cast there's a massive walk out. very similar to what's happened uh over.

at the netflix uh massive walk out so. the entire snl castle so if you want to. be in it. just dm me. or show up. at snl guy i want to be in the george. floyd sketch and bring a gun. that's a joke. but i say bring a gun for safety what. else is going on here you told me a very. interesting thing about the uh. there's people at sea. there's a crew of people that were lost. at sea yes yes so you know this this was.

a february 2021 february 2021 after. three years abandoned at sea without pay. this oil tanker crew. is on the cusp of going home. this is a very interesting story when a. shipping company from the united arab. emirates which is why they by the way. why do they have the best airline i'll. tell you why do you know why because. it's fear. because if you work for emirates you. have a fear of [ __ ] up.

when you work at delta or american there. is no fear. of [ __ ] up. but when you work at emirates i can't. say why this is but maybe it's because. the united arab emirates is a bit. stricter a bit harsher. with some of the punishments that are. doled out for many of the things that. people do. and there's something that is instilled. in the flight attendants where they just. do the right thing emirates is a. phenomenal airline united arab emirates.

hits financial trouble in 2017 the. shipping company hit financial trouble. in 2017 and and abandoned and they. abandoned an oil tanker off the coast of. dubai now dubai is this modern. city that's kind of built on slave labor. and it's you know a lot of people are. pointing to this and saying this is uh. no good. now dubai is incredibly hot they have. like indoor. everything's indoors i think they have. indoor ski slopes like what they've been. able to do in dubai is amazing because.

you can't really. spend that much time outside. uh. what do they have is this an indoor ski. slope yeah and their ski slopes i mean. they have everything here they have. everything in dubai everything you could. want. inside because. what is the average temperature in dubai. it's very hot. so what you have to do is spend a lot of. your time. inside. it's very very hot yes september it's. 102. so forget i mean the summer forget.

it. and. but the city. they've used a lot of what they consider. slave labor to build these very tall. very luxurious buildings and they have. been criticized for that heavily. so now they abandoned a shipment company. they ran into trouble and they abandoned. this oil tanker left a small crew aboard. they were stranded at sea. without pay or away home we're talking.

2017. those men have been on the tanker ever. since. but a chance at repatriation for the. five remaining crew seems to be finally. within grasp the owner told us please. wait i want to sell the ship and after i. will clear the salaries well that's nice. remembers nae wynn who came to work as a. chief engineer on the mt iba eba from. his home in myanmar so we are waiting. waiting waiting. be patient be patient.

so wind started to work on the tanker. 2017 a few months before the owner it's. amazing to me that people could just. just through the whole pandemic. through the entire pandemic these guys. are stuck. on an oil tanker. it's kind of worked out well. if you think about like everyone's gonna. go and blame the guys they're gonna say. you shouldn't have done this. but really. i love the quote all's well that ends.

well. and if you think about this these people. have been socially distanced. away from others. during a global pandemic. how are they getting food. somebody said that in the article they. go without money how can they eat with. no money how do we manage how is this. i don't understand how this is happening. do you understand how they're eating i. i'm assuming they're fishing i'm looking. at the the gentleman they're probably.

fishing over the over the board and they. might have cans of of food you know but. the only collateral they have it says. the only collateral they have is the. ship itself so that's why they don't. abandon it because the the company you. know wants to get the ship back. so they they they're trying to get paid. you know. well can the company just hire people to. go on there and kill them and take the. ship i suppose so i believe that's the. next step. but i mean i understand what they're. saying. bowerman said his organization has been. supporting the crew through quote a.

pretty grim existence but again it's. only one way to look at it. the men have been living in the same. clothes for months. washing in cold water or sea water and. relying on his charity for food so. someone's bringing them food out there. but couldn't they just get on a boat and. leave they don't have passports it says. so they're they they can't go anywhere. they can't you know so they're totally. stuck but a boat comes something drops. them off food and they can't get on this. boat and leave well i guess well the. thing.

they want to get paid right so they are. key they're staying on the ship until. they get paid okay. the first thing is to make sure they've. got food they've got water they've got a. little bit of oil for the generators. the organization also wanted to quote be. physically present to listen to their. stories bring the news of home don't. even do that don't bring them any news. at home. try to ensure that their well-being is. looked after as much as possible so now. what what is going to happen here. says following the agreement over pay. the crew agreed agreed to stay on the. ship while towed to safety with hopes.

that the repatriation process can begin. early next month so they eventually got. home and supposedly got supposedly got. paid. for their time at sea i smell a. movie. i think it would be a good film. to have these guys. on the boat. just. existing. but we've had too many films like that. already. we've had too many. so then it goes music barbecues wi-fi. managing morale for those idle did see i.

bet they were having a little more fun. than they wanted to admit do you go gay. in that time in three years. a question do you. it's very odd. three years of no females do you go gay. because if this is a movie. it's got it it's got to just be about. gay. sex muslim gay sex. that would have to be the direction. hollywood goes in muslim guys and.

they're like i have this religion but i. also want to [ __ ] and there's no women. around so it just becomes like a hot. kind of orgy. and that seems like. the way that the movie would would go. it would be like brokeback mountain but. these guys in an oil tanker. for three years who can't bathe. you know just kind of pounding. on an oil tanker. well i wish them the best god bless.

you had an experience. everybody is looking uh in life. for everybody plans everything everybody. has a plan and this is the real problem. i noticed. in between my generation where our. parents did not care about us at all. and subsequent generations where people. were you know what do they call them. helicopter parents they were always. involved they were helping their child. strategize.

every single moment of their life. there's some happy medium there. and many parents listen to the show. there's a happy medium between my. parents where they just dropped you off. at pizza hut and said go get molested. and the people that were planning every. single moment of your life. because really you can't plan. everything sometimes you're going to end. up. on a ship. having sex with a man and you didn't. know you were gay but you have three.

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teen girls are showing up to the doctor. with ticks experts think anxiety. depression and tick tock could be. playing a role i have motor tick. syndrome something that i've had since. i'm a kid i have tics i have eye tics i. have all kinds of tics um if i don't get. sleep or if i'm eat a lot of sugar and. when have i done that never thank god. i've never done that. but if if if i do these things if i. don't. care for my overall health the ticks. will get worse i do not have the vocal. component of tourette's where i would.

yell words that would get me uh kicked. off this. site where you're watching the show i. don't have that but. people do tourette syndrome is a genetic. nervous system disorder. can cause ticks. repetitive involuntary movements or. sounds it mostly impacts boys and the. tics physically start when a person is. young and then develop over time but. women get them as well and now women's. tics and you you may know more than me.

but i read this article they seem that. they're being exacerbated. by the cut meaning made worse. by the content they're watching on. tick-tock. and tick-tock ironically. tick. tock. so these people that have tourette's are. watching people on tick-tock and just. stroking out is that what's going on. here yeah it says doctors noted that. what's happening isn't necessarily true. but a functional movement it's a. functional movement disorder because.

kids want to fit in they want to fit in. they want a community people all over. the world want a community whether it's. hot people or rich people or [ __ ]. activists or poets or [ __ ] some dumb. hick they all want a community and. even people. that any community will do. there the standards for what community.

you end up in are not high. people don't care so if you have to. have ticks. as part of. the initiation. to get into the community go hey you. take i-tick. we're like this. so. i don't understa so some kids have. pulled out their phones and they show. the doctors uh tick tock and it's full. of these tourette's cooking and alphabet. challenges.

now i don't know what those are but i. imagine it's people with tourette's. cooking and just screaming like. different slurs and how's that calm and. cooking everything because it's funny. it's funny when you make an omelette. [ __ ]. it's funny. that's funny i'd watch that but i. wouldn't because then maybe i'd tick. more that's the game and then i can't. blame you you know nobody would believe. people don't even believe if i just. started saying horrible things nobody's. going to say oh yes tourette no one. would care it's mild tourettes and i. can't get away with anything um like i. have mild homosexuality my homosexuality.

is not pronounced but it's it's. effective when it needs to be i i have. sex with men but that doesn't that's not. really what being gay is anymore being. gay is not really having sex with men. it's really dying your hair it's gone. from having sex with men to dyeing your. hair which is much easier to do having. sex with with men. you have to put a a penis in your mouth. like an entire penis or in your butt or. you have to put your penis in someone.

else's butt it's a it's a it's an. activity. and dyeing your hair is is relatively. simple you would die in a purple or a. blue or a green and then not have sex. with men women or anyone but you can be. queer. you can be queer and go i'm queer and. you go well what does that mean and they. go. well i don't i reject the gender binary. and i reject i'm pansexual you go well. what does that mean well i have sex with. anyone well who have you had sex with. well not anyone really.

maybe i have but usually as i'm. pansexual but i'm not having sex. with a person of the same sex i just. have sex with my boyfriend but i'm a. white woman with blue hair so i'm queer. so it's interesting that i have a very. mild form of homosexuality it has not. progressed into uh dyed hair and the. rejection of the uh actual sex acts. because that's the. that's the heightened form of. homosexuality where you you reject. any and all sexual contact but you.

replace it uh with uh fun. uh glitter and hairstyles and things. like that um. some kids have pulled out their phones. they show the doctors hey i'm watching. people with tourette's cook and do. alphabet challenges the jerusalem post. reported that these disorders can be. treated doctors suggest kids take a. social media break. isn't it time to take a break. if social media is giving you tourette. syndrome.

isn't it time to take a break. if social media. is giving you an involuntary tick. disorder. it might be time. to take a break and i don't know the. like i don't think these kids are. forcing these ticks. this is actually something that is. happening to them right. well you also see communities on tick. tock of people who claim they have like. asperger's or autism right and they love. to uh.

what's it called. where they shake i forget what they call. it whether they do this together i don't. know because it's sensory overload so. it's girls jumping on their bed doing. this because they love to have autism so. it's a lot of like fame they see that. these people are very popular and a lot. of these things are feigned. to be just like interesting you know so. i i think a lot i think a lot of this is. probably fake right i think we've gotten. to a point now where technology i've. made this point at nauseam has flattened. everybody to the point where people. aren't really developing personalities.

anymore so the only way to distinguish. themselves is to get a disorder and get. it quick. get a disorder and get it quick anxiety. depression tourettes don't be picky. aspergers anything get on the spectrum. and stay there that seems to be if you. want a social life the best thing you. can do as a child is to develop some. type of disorder on now in the real. world that doesn't work as well but. online people actually gravitate to each. other on the basis of shared horror.

shared pain shared problems. nobody online is like i love this and. the other person's like i love that. let's together. usually it's like i am suffering i am. also suffering i hate this i also hate. this let's form a bond and all of these. kids their meaningful social. interactions are primarily online so. what they're doing is they're going. online and they're saying who else has a. problem and certain problems look more. fun than others and i mean and i'm not.

saying that these problems aren't real. and they don't exist and that people. don't genuinely have them i'm saying. that this word that nobody likes to use. social contagion everyone hates that. because usually when people talk about. it they talk about a lot of the women. that are now identifying as non-binary. and they're saying you know there are. people that say how many people are. non-binary and the entire class at. oberlin college raises their hand and. you go statistically it's impossible.

i come from a time where being a [ __ ]. was special. now not so much now. part of. this social contagion word that people. don't like is because it was used. against gay people and against all you. know we're saying this isn't really who. you are you're just doing this to piss. off tip or gore or something i don't. know remember al gore's fat wife who. didn't like marilyn manson i don't know. if she had a problem with gays but. whatever she didn't like marilyn manson. and i thought he was cool back then not. so much now it's gone in a weird.

direction i can't fully support but. antichrist superstar was a good album if. you were a seventh grade goth closeted. gay uh guy who was just starting to. discover uh that you could crush up. pills and put them up your nose. now. people hate that word social contagion. but we're social animals. we exist in a social space. and all of the things we do primarily. are to make ourselves. achieve a level of comfort.

and then there are people out there that. don't want that level of comfort and. push through it and those are the people. genuinely not always but generally can. accomplish things because to accomplish. things you have to push yourself out of. a comfort zone but everything we're. doing socially is to arrange. our lives to be comfortable and having. friends and having social um. commitments to people. is a way to be. comfortable. and you know who does it the nelq boys.

do it they do it very well and they have. built this community amongst college. kids who just want to drink party get. [ __ ] up get their dicks wet. i mean they want to have fun and my. favorite now kid is steve will do it. support him now before he's in a mexican. jail. steve will do it. he's the world's number one youtube. channel i don't know if that's true but. it might be. and if you're drunk enough it is. steve is great he's always giving people.

teslas he loves watches he makes. bazillions of dollars and he's part of. the collection of milk they're a. canadian group internet pranksters if. you will. they go and have a lot of fun they get. to drive around and and drink and do. coke in front of the cops and because. they're white none of them get shot it. would be hard for a black group to pull. off some of their videos right it would. end with minnesota being burned down. because that's just the reality of of of. race in the country i didn't do it.

but this is unfortunate right there. isn't really a black milk is there can. you be a black milk can you just go. around and pretend to have cocaine on. you if you're a black guy probably not. see. candace owens would say you can should. be like you could absolutely be a black. now you could be a black now. i think you can. steve is one of the biggest he's got one. of the biggest emerging fashion brands. baby. with full send they send me stuff look.

at this hat. go to fullsend.com to sign up for. exclusive merge drops everything is. currently sold out and you don't want to. miss out on any more full send. exclusives. a lot of the young guys love. that while we're doing these ads and. they're signing up. lastly go right now to steve will do its. youtube channel and see what the hubbub. is about for yourself he drops new. videos every single thursday go to his. youtube channel right now see what he's. doing what is he up to one of my. favorite things he did was he's standing. in a vip line in a casino and a woman.

doesn't know who he is and goes why are. you in that line and he turns around and. goes shut the [ __ ] i'd be stupid [ __ ]. so it's fun stuff like that. bradley martin is hiding brian laundry. surprising david dobrik with a tesla. yeah. well he's also doing philanthropy with. takashi 69 that's right they go around. and help uh young drunks. secure drugs and alcohol for themselves. getting a happy ending massage. i opened a free food truck in compton.

i raced my lamborghini for 200 000. i almost died with stevo. i'm dating a beauty beautiful 31 year. old latina woman and he's young steve. will do it he's like a young person how. old is this guy i believe he's like 22. he's 22. he's young and he's a very. successful guy and he's been very kind. to us here at the show. he's been very nice to us and he's 24. 22. 22 he's always trying to help us out. and this goes to show you not every 22.

year old. with. a a drinking problem and mild autism is. gonna be. as successful as this guy. it's it's not gonna happen you know what. i mean. you have to really put in the work and. that work will kill you. most people who try to do what steve. will do it does will die. truly. they will die so the fact that this guy. has not only remained alive but thrived.

is amazing so go. to his website steve will do it right. yeah just his youtube channel that's. what he's really s t e v e will do it on. youtube go to steve will do it on. youtube and subscribe. keeps. you need your hair. how do you do it do you get a wig do you. have some weird surgery no you keep the. hair that you have right now if you. start with keeps they will preserve the. hair that you have on your head that is. so important because you're keeping your. real hair all the other stuff looks fake.

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risk free plus a fitness wearable it's a. win-win. okay that's it. do you have any plans for the uh. halloween i know it's coming up and you. know october is a great month and many. people are excited about uh halloween is. you because you were at a jesus uh. school were you allowed to participate. in halloween uh yeah but it was it's. very innocent like you know you dress up. like a little uh like a little skeleton. and you just get candy it wasn't like uh. like you went to haunted houses and.

stuff in long island right well we would. go sometimes to things like a hayride or. a haunted house right yeah and nothing. like that too satanic my neighbors. didn't read harry potter you know people. were weird about that people were weird. about it. and you were able to just but you would. go trick-or-treating yeah yeah who would. you go with just uh my mom and my dad. and they would bring you. trick-or-treating um. we'd go in the neighborhood in the. neighborhood and they would what would. you get. you get the the the the classics you get. you get reese's cups you get.

butterfinger you get twix here's the. deal folks. you need to have if you're gonna do a. halloween bowl of candy reese's is the. best it's the it's it's a peanut butter. cup that's number one it's really the. number one candy i believe go look at. the candies ranked look at the rankings. of the candies i'm not a huge candy. person but reese's is amazing you gotta. have the little bags of m m's. you gotta have the little butterfingers. you maybe also you gotta have the little. hershey's where it's like special dark. and uh milk chocolate the little. hershey's things let's start at number.

one well yeah what is the number one. ranked candy in america. yeah reese's peanut butter cups yeah. they just are this is specifically for. halloween so you're right on the money. with that here's the thing about the. reese's peanut butter cup it's kind of. the perfect candy. when my parents told me that they were. getting divorced because they didn't. love each other anymore. and it surprised me because i thought. all the fighting and the screaming and. sleeping in separate bedrooms meant that. things were going well but when they. told me that they didn't want to be a. family anymore but they were going to. live together. and uh have a very painful two-year.

period of figuring out who got aunt. gussie's coffee table. i took solace in the peanut butter cup. which is great if you freeze it if you. put a peanut butter cup in the. refrigerator or freezer it's great. they're great in ice cream they're just. phenomenal they are the best candy by. far you and your wife got a bowl of. horrible things to give to children. that's not true. they didn't have reese's they don't have.

eminem but we had we don't have. hershey's peanut butter snickers which. are good dude they're not nothing twix. is number two on this list we had twix. which you you uh. you're ridiculous you're a child and. you're eating twix. twix's campaign was like never for. children isn't it. what was wait what was it well no that. was kitkat kid cat was you need a break. yeah. yeah but it was like kick cat i think. it's from my mother likes kit kat i. think kit kats for like older people. yeah. twix's slogan is try both pick a side.

[Music]. okay interesting i don't know that. that's the one to have in this political. climate huh but it's kind of sexy and. fun. try both pick a side it's like i'm not. picking a side. how about that. but it's exciting times here you know uh. with uh halloween. right around the corner remember the. gang in this initiation myth but maybe. it wasn't a myth. where people were worried. that if you went out on halloween.

uh people and gangs. were going to kill you. because then they could get into the. gang. this was the thing that white. suburbanites yes. were like it was on their radar. that halloween now by the way it all. these myths. come from something. so. there's there there has to be some truth. to the idea that there is something.

going on on halloween. i'm checking it on snopes well snopes is. a cia front. but it is yeah i know kind of is yeah. but they cite this up until recently. snopes was like jeffrey epstein's a math. teacher like. snopes is full of [ __ ]. [ __ ] listening to snopes. i'm just saying it has to co it doesn't. mean that the level of like satanic. panic where people get crazy yes but. were there was there some. child molestation going on.

indisputably. it was happening. and with some of those people evil and. occult and whatever. for sure but yes did it go crazy to the. point where like tipper gore's running. around going. hey. you know pantera and marilyn manson and. ozzy osbourne like yeah it went crazy. but so i think the halloween uh gang. initiation. has to come from somewhere well it says. like here like in 2008 was a busy year. for the gang initiation week concept.

because in the days before halloween in. oa two men were arrested in newark for a. drug and gang-related shooting rampage. that left two dead and an intelligence. report by the virginia state police. presented a possible scenario in which. the bloods would target law enforcement. on halloween with an ambush precipitated. by a low-level gang member following a. call to the police about a domestic. disturbance or a street fight right i. heard that too that they were going to. go after cops. and that they were going to yeah this. they don't seem to materialize no i was.

always told that like on halloween. people would drive around without their. headlights off and if you flash them to. warn them that their headlights were off. then they would turn around and chase. you down and kill you well this is all. part of these gang initiation myths and. then there was oh you're going to get. people are going to poison your candy. remember that they were like don't. accept an apple which is. i get it yeah they're like remember that. there was a story where there's like. razor blades in an apple. yeah i wonder if that was urban myth. it might have been i love the idea of. americans telling their fat children to. not accept the fruit.

don't you accept an apple. you take. sneakers. reeses. oh there's twix there's a whole. wikipedia for poisoned candy myths we're. a very terrified country. we like fear. fear. is what unites us. and halloween. is a great time for people. to be afraid. of losing the family members that they. don't really care about anyway.

it's a very good time for that. and this was a boomer thing they were. like everybody's going to kidnap you. poison your candy gangs are good this is. how i grew up. and they they don't realize now they. don't understand why everybody's uh has. anxiety and depression and everybody's. paranoid they're like there's a white. van that's driving around the community. who's gonna kidnap you and [ __ ] you. and then. the gang is gonna initiate you're gonna.

be part of a gang initiation when you. get shot in the head. on halloween if you haven't died from. your poison apple verse by the way this. is straight out of like. uh what's the one with the poison apple. snow white yeah yeah this is straight. out of like a grimm's fairy tale that. there are people poisoning candy. now i'm sure a few people did that maybe. no no no in fact uh this just gained. credence during the industrial. revolution so it seems to be xenophobic. because it says when food production.

moved out of the home or local area. where it was made in familiar ways by. known and trusted people to strangers. using unknown ingredients and unfamiliar. machines and processes so as soon as it. wasn't local anymore people were going. you don't know who made that you don't. know why. why haven't xenophobic people continue. with that and like like why aren't they. talking about poison burritos. because people are too fat yeah i guess. they love they you can slander an apple. you can't slander an empanada people go. i don't care i don't care if it's. polishing it's good it's warm and i can.

hold it in my hand. i love the apples took a beating. like yeah they're they're uh poisoning. the apples there's razor blades in the. fruit. there's uh. the produce is gonna kill you don't i. love it it's all the things we're told. are just horrible don't need anything to. start in the package. don't eat anything that's that highly. processed food. you look at the corporation that made. that food before you ate it.

i'm gonna give out. celery sticks this year that have been. dipped in fentanyl. i want to be the first person to. actually poison people on halloween. we should set up a video. where. like the door opens and i just give kids. healthy food. and have them reject it. because it's poison. my mom said that's poison i'm like it's.

a salad. it's poison. what is that it's radicchio that's. poison. gave me a cadbury cream egg or whatever. i mean that's for easter. but. it's an unhealthy country what do you. want me to do. if a big news story happens this week. we'll address it on the patreon we. wanted to do. a video episode my my i wish the best to. everybody here that's uh. suffering from involuntary tick.

disorders from their use of social media. there is a time when perhaps we should. put the phone down. how bad is this gonna get are there. gonna be people that are like actually. getting cancer. to fit in when will this end well did. you see all the videos of the people. faking the side effects of the coba. vaccine. well i've seen some of that yeah yeah. um but i i think there are real side. effects but i don't i don't know if. people are filming right yeah. like some of them are like this yeah. it's like.

all right. but here's the other thing. um. here's the other thing i was thinking. about what were we just talking about. before you interrupted. with a covered vaccine about the tick. tock uh. symptoms that girls were having. yeah about social media. um. oh yeah i never liked you know when. someone got cancer and then everyone. shaved their head. i think that's patronizing.

like i i didn't love that. and i know that's a heartwarming thing. that most people are supposed to love. it's the same with the dog videos i. never liked like the dog. uh is happy that the guy's back for the. soldiers back from iraq i'm like you. adopted this animal and then abandoned. it to go to kill children in iraq. the dog has no idea what you've been. doing if the dog knew how many children. and dogs you killed.

probably right. dogs can't judge. i never liked those videos i never liked. the bald head. where we all shave our head. well we're shaving it in solidarity what. i don't understand i guess it makes. young kids feel better there's something. nice about it. i do you know like every now and then. they'll be like this dad got his son's. birthmark tattooed on him. to make his son feel better and i go i. get it there's something sweet about. that but the kid's eventually gonna grow.

up and go this was dumb. right. you know. like my dad's never copied anything that. i like i wouldn't tell my dad to go out. and be successful. people have to have their own identities. timdylandcomedy.com it's a quick one. today but last week we went 117. so. that's it it's you get what you get here. timdalecomedy.com i'm not reading all. the dates there's a lot of dates. come see us live.

it's gonna be a lot of fun. we're doing stand-up comedy well i am. it's a tremendous event. we're all over the country. after this tour we're going to the uk. we're announcing a week-long. tour in the uk we're going to be in. london and and ireland and i believe. scotland we're still firming up those. details but it's going to be good for. everyone. everyone's going to love it. it's gonna be fun.

and eventually we're gonna go to. australia when they open that place up. but i mean they just went full. fascist mode in australia. amazing you would never think it would. be australia. you'd never think it would be the chill. laid-back country where people like. grilling. you never thought it would be. melbourne to bring an end to the world's. longest lockdowns they. had the longest lockdown in the world.

these people were subject to all kinds. of intrusions. privacy they had none they were pitching. all this facial recognition software. they're checking you and making sure you. have coffee in your cup if you're out. um. it is a fascist [ __ ] you can see. how easily. countries slip into. 100. fascism. and. australia was particularly susceptible. to this because as i've said before.

their population is made up. primarily of lazy and stupid criminals. which is why. they had they were susceptible not. everyone is a lazy stupid criminal i. know that. but too. many people. are over there and it allowed the. government to just trample. over. their rights and. we're going to touch on the great. resignation a little bit on the patreon.

but. uh. there's something going on that's very. interesting right now uh the great. resignation has gone global i believe. the pandemic has made people think about. mortality and their life in a way that. they've never thought about it before. most people just get up every day and. they kind of you know. they don't question they just do. and they have to because that's the way. you know the system is set up. i think more and more of those people.

all over the world are going what do i. want out of life and they've seen or. maybe know people that have died there. was just enough death to make you go. whoo. it wasn't it wasn't black plague level. by any means but there was enough. uncertainty and paranoia to go around. that if you're if you're a sentient. creature you had to start thinking about. the random nature of life and how weird. cruel it is and that means you say to. yourself. what. should i be doing.

am i wasting my time here at houlihans. am i wasting my time. at restaurant chain. houlihans. i might be. maybe i should not spend my entire life. working at. hula get up houlihan i don't know what. this is i'm googling this. hula hands. get the menu up. who's hungry.

you go to hula hands there's just a. woman eating a french onion soup and. she's lifting it up so you can see how. much cheese they put on top they won't. let me look at the menu until i tell. them where i am just tell them anywhere. i'm jonesboro arkansas great. see. so there are people right now that are. working at houlihans. go to the appetizers you want apps okay. yeah for lunch yeah okay. and those people every day are not being. paid what they want.

and they have to say. do you want to try houlihan's famous. shrooms. and people go what is that and you go. it's panko crusted and garlic herb cream. cheese stuffed mushrooms with a creamy. horseradish sauce. and some people go no i don't want that. and they're in a rush. and they're just having a first dinner. with their kid. since you know the breakup was announced. and.

people go i don't want to do this. i don't want to work at a theme. restaurant. i don't want to tell people about. houlihan's famous shrooms i. want more out of life and you got to. support those people but you also have. to get a cup of coffee in less than an. hour. so how do you do that how do you wrestle. with those things i want people to fully. realize their dreams but i also want. them to understand that dreams aren't. real and we live in hell. but i want people to to really try to go.

after what they want but i also want to. get in and out of starbucks in less than. an hour and a half. somebody has to work at starbucks. is that are they here i think i heard. someone i'm not sure well we're wrapping. up anyway there's a lot of really good. podcasts record here very successful. people um. so that's my whole thing and that's what. we're going to go into on the patreon. wrestling with those two things between. i want people.

like some of the here's what it is some. of the slave owners probably liked the. hymns. and they would sit on the porch and go. the music is beautiful. but the field needs to get play so it's. a weird. we're in a weird time goodbye.