#271 - The Many Taints of Newark | The Tim Dillon Show

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim. Dillon show. Excited to be with you. A. lot is uh. happening and not happening as always. Um did you I saw The Many Saints of. Newark. Have you seen that movie yet? seen it yet. This is weird. And I I I I I don't want. to talk about this because I don't want. people to get the wrong idea. I know. that a lot of people are they have a you. know, I obviously I love Joey Diaz who's. in the movie and I love a lot of um. the people that are that are in the.

movie, right? I mean the The Sopranos is. an epic show. I don't. It's weird the direction they took to. me. I think it's odd. Um. It's strange to me to. do a prequel. where a huge element of the character. that was not at all in the show is. brought out. That's weird to me. Like the prequel uh.

to The Many Saints of Newark is about. how Tony Soprano like got into the. mafia. And the entire movie. I don't know if you know this but is. literally and this is a little [ __ ]. Why are you smiling? The entire movie is Tony. getting into the mafia. because he's gay. And he's trying to hide his sexuality. from other people and he feels the most.

effective way to do that it and. there are sex scenes. where Tony. Soprano is having sex with man in this. movie. as the receptive partner. He's taking it. in the movie. And people were shocked at. this. The whole crux of the movie is. that Tony's in an interrelational. interracial relationship in Newark with. a man. This is odd.

to me because in The Sopranos, there was. never a thought. that I Listen, I'm a gay guy. I think. gay cinema is great, but there was never. a thought that Tony was gay. So, to me. to make his character gay and give him. this the story arc of having a love. interest is very, very strange. And even. if you did all of that, the. visceral nature of a lot of these sex.

scenes. I mean, it's really aggressive. It's aggressive. But, this is what Hollywood has decided. to do. And I'm I'm emailing you right There's a. scene. because you know that I was asked to. audition for this. Oh, you did? I was asked to audition for this. So, I. got the script. Mhm. And there is a scene that me and you are. going to read. Mhm. from The Many Saints of Newark.

Okay. And I Again, I worry. I worry that. you know, again, I don't want to offend. anyone that really enjoyed the picture. But, I think. that it's worth stating how different. this is. than most of what we've come to expect. from Dick David Chase. and The Sopranos. Do you have it? Did. you get it? Um I'm refreshing. There it goes. There it is. Okay, so.

where This is a scene. from The Many Saints of Newark. And. again, I'm So, here. Don't read it. Read. it as you do it. That's what a real. actor does. Okay? Okay, who am I? You're African American man. Now, I want you to start I want you to. start. describe the scene up top. Okay, you want me to be the narrator? Yes. Okay. Tony, a young sexually confused man, explores gender and sexuality with older.

men in the mafia. This is weird, right? I mean, let's be honest. Is this. Is this not. Is this not weird? This is not. what I thought the movie was going to be. about. And listen, I don't do a good. Tony Soprano impression. That's not what. I'm trying to do here. What I'm trying to do is act and breathe. life into the scene. Okay, so let's. start. Okay. Tony is sitting on a bench. is sitting on a bench by the basketball. court. He notices a young.

African-American man playing basketball. shirtless. Tony is shy at first, but. brings to speak to him. Well, that I don't know why that was. written like that. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, so I'm I'm an African-American, right? You're the man. Now, this is Tony's at. the basketball court. Yeah. He's watching an African-American man. play basketball shirtless. And Tony is. sitting there and I think in the movie. he's eating an ice cream cone. seductively.

But that was added. later. Again, this is The Many Saints of. Newark. Okay. This is true. All right. I I'm only laughing because. I'm stunned that they went in this. direction. To Okay. Tony is shy at. first, but speaks to him. Hey, what are. you doing? I'm playing ball. What are you doing? Watching you Watching you like what you. see? Hey, hey, what you doing right now with. the with the black hands and stuff?

It's not necessary. Okay. You know what I mean? Okay. Do you know what you just did? You like, I'm playing ball. Black people don't. talk like that. Do you see what you did when you were. going like. '70s. I'm trying to think of how they'd. play it. Maybe it's like it's groovy. you just just. really disrespect the work. Okay. Okay. I don't think we need to start doing a. dance. Okay. Okay. Hey, what are you doing? I'm playing ball. What are you doing? Watching you like what you see? Okay, it's. I'm playing ball. What are you doing?

Watching? You like what you see? Watching? You like what you see? Maybe I do. Maybe I do. Let me ask you something. Do youse have bigger dicks than us? You know, like that's what people say. Only one way to find out. You guys must have real braciole's over. there where you come from. I'm Italian. I'm in the mafia. Or at least I will be, but I can't tell anyone that I'm, you. know, into men. I know what that's like.

You do? My pastor says that gay people go to. hell. He calls them $3 bills. Your church, that's what they do, they're screaming and everything. Hey, you think anyone is there right now? Maybe we could go over there. You want to see my church? I want to see you. Tony pulls the man close to him and they. begin making out. Tony is grabbing his. crotch. The man seems uncomfortable with. all the people around. Not here. We can have sex in my church. So, this is.

crazy to me. Then they go have sex in a. church. where Tony is getting it in the ass. And it's crazy. So, is there like a gospel choir and. everything, but they're in the back and. cutting back. No, it's an empty church. Okay. And he's just like pounding Tony. And then Tony says, "I don't know if I. want you" This is This is a quote from. the movie. Tony goes, "I don't know if I. want you to explode in me, but I I also. want to taste you.". And then the guy goes, "Well, have you heard of felching?" And.

Tony goes, "No, what's that?" And the. guy goes, "That's where I would come. inside of you and then suck it out with. a straw or something and then spit it. back in your mouth." All I'm saying is. this is very surprising to me. That's what I'm saying. Again, go see the film, make your own. decisions. It's very surprising that. they went in this direction. Personally, you know? I mean, the whole thing. when we meet Carmela, like it's crazy because he's like having.

sex with guys. It's weird. Anyway, that's just putting it That's just just. my two cents. I don't want to make anyone mad. No, and Joey Diaz is in this. I heard. it's I heard it's good. James Damore got mad at me, that guy. You know that guy from Google. Yeah, yeah. who got He's kind of has Marfan. syndrome, I think. He's like He's really. like I don't know, he's like very lanky. And he He's autistic. He says he's. autistic. He says that he sees the world. differently. He got angry with me. because I criticized his digital art.

And this is the guy that wrote the memo. at Google. He wrote a memo where he was. basically like, I think women should. have bags around their heads and get. taken out into the parking lot. And. he said that there's, you know, whatever. So, he made this AI art. It's. very bad. So, I just wrote, "These are. all bad." I quote tweeted it. And then. he used that video that that thing of me. where I have sunburn, and he goes, "AI is a matter of inputs. Like for this. foul one, all I put was gay Chris.

Farley." I And I have a horrible. sunburn. I never should have put that. photo out. But sometimes you got to put. a photo out where you look the worst so. that it can always be the photo people. use. But again, that photo still makes. more sense than his like kind of deeply. satanic, very strange AI art. that he did. It's like odd. It's like demons and. hell, and so I don't know what the. inputs he put in. But again, people get. very sensitive. All these A lot of these. tech pros, which is weird, they're like.

kind of like goth theater. blanks. And I don't know what Even though. they're like tech bros, they're like I. don't you know what I mean? They're like. weird nerd. And again, they got me he. was angry at me. Um. And I defended him when he wrote that. memo saying that women wanted to get a. bags over their heads and take it out. into the parking lot at Google. So I don't understand what's the. problem. But he's very sensitive. These. people are very sensitive, okay? And he. lives in Austin, so we know he's one of.

the worst. people in the world, but. we still support him that and we we. don't think it's fair that he was fired. from Google for saying that women like. to have garbage bags put over them and. then put in a van. Um he got angry with me. The people. don't like objective reality anymore. When you say like like the way he says. like men and women have different they. have different aptitudes. It's also like. some things are bad. That AI is art is. bad. That Lil Nas X version of Jolene is bad.

It's not good. He's speaking. He's going. Jolene. And of course Dolly Parton got. to tweet like, I just am honored and I. love him and blah blah blah. Because you can't be honest because the. appeal of Lil Nas X. Lil Nas X is in the package. It's in. he's a good-looking black gay guy and he. has. uh. you know, he's a flare about him. He. knows what he's doing, but the. actual vocals are not good. And for. anyone to pretend they're good, and the.

Old Town Road song was kind of a troll. that became huge. But. he's smart, but it's and he knows what. to do. He says, "Look, I'm I'm [ __ ]. Satan this week and next week I'm. pregnant." But that's in that the that's. replacing the music. Right. See, people should realize that. That's. not in addition to the music. Like Lady Gaga's talented and then she. does a lot of that stuff in addition to. the This is completely. like instead of the music, we're going. to do this. I'm going to uh you know,

take a photo of myself or or have a CGI. photo of myself made where I have a. baby. And this is like, you know, but. again, to say like this isn't good, people get very angry. They would point. at the AI art and go, "Hey man, this is. not good.". It's objectively terrible. I'm sure. you're a lovely person, but this art is. very, very bad. And why are you Why do. you care? You just put inputs into a. computer and then it made it. Why do you. give a [ __ ] Maybe I'm insulting the AI.

It may not be you. But, you know, people don't like the truth. It's. unfortunate. You know, it's like a lot of people are. not going to like to hear that Tony. Soprano is a gay man, but this is what it is. Um. I love SimpliSafe. I'm telling you right. now you need them. They launched two new wireless outdoor. security cameras. That's right. SimpliSafe, the system that US News &. World Report says the best home security. system of 2021 just got even better.

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community powered alternative. Terms and. conditions may apply. This is something funny that you showed. me from the show what is it called The. United States of Al? That's correct, yeah. This show. United States of Al rewrite season 2. premiere. to offer powerful moving reaction to. situation in Afghanistan. By the way, the title of that article tells you. everything you want to know. and it immediately you know it was the. wrong move. Rewrite season 2 premiere to offer.

powerful moving reaction to situation in. Afghanistan. Is this guy Afghani? He's Indian and he's from South Africa. So he's nothing to do with Afghanistan. playing an Afghani interpreter in the. show. So he was always an Afghani interpreter. in The United States of Al? Yes. He was he was always Well, I guess. his best friend is a marine who fought. in Afghanistan and now they're here and. they're you know. Oh well then I guess they have to do. something. Mhm. But he's not Afghani in real life. Understood. But I mean it it in the show.

he's an Afghani interpreter? I believe so, yeah. And his friend's a marine. You wonder if. the writers got like a tip that this was. going to happen. Do you think The United. States of Al knew before the State. Department that the Taliban was about to. take over? Because it does feel like The. United States of Al now did have to go. like I I do feel they were in the. unenviable position of having to address. it. that way. It feels like they had to I had no idea. he was an Afghani interpreter. What show. is this? Like. why would this be a show?

And so The United States of Al is about. apparently an Afghani interpreter. Mhm. um and his marine best friend. Mhm. That's right. that are what? Buds? They're like buddies, yeah. They're buddies and they live together? I I think it. In the same town? Here it is. A marine combat veteran. struggling to readjust to civilian life. in Ohio. And then Awalmir, aka Al, the. interpreter who served with his unit in. Afghanistan has just arrived to start a. new life in America. So it's just their. friendship.

So it's a it's a Afghani interpreter and. a Marine. They come back to the US. Hilarity ensues. Now, the United States of Al, of course, they have to do something. They can't. ignore it. They have to do something. I'm sympathetic to this more than I. thought I would be. It does seem to be. the. Also, don't make a very bad show like. this in the first place. It's such a bad. show. It's a Marine and a Afghani interpreter. like having beers like like the.

Afghanistan war was worth it. That's what the premise of the show is. brought them together. It's a brotherhood. So what if a lot of. people are dead? Doesn't matter. That's the premise of the show. This is. what Hollywood likes to do. They like to. like make things where they go it's kind. of a wash, isn't it? I mean Al and his. buddy would have never been brought. together. if we didn't have the Afghanistan war. So it's an odd way to market a program,

but they love this [ __ ] This is how. they kind of smooth over all these. mistakes. And by mistakes, I don't mean. mistakes. I mean like you know, the. blood lost empire. They mean to call it. a mistake. You know, a mistake is like. where's the car keys? Not like oh, we're. going to Afghanistan to pay off. pedophiles. and you know, steal lithium ion. That's. not really a mistake. But the way at the. end of all of that to kind of make it. like hey, sorry, they do these cutesy. little shows where like people become. friends with each other from, you know,

this 20-year long war that killed people. for absolutely no reason. And Uh, but. the United States of Al. And so, this is. the scene. where Al, I guess, realizes that the. Taliban. Mhm. This is the promo for the upcoming. episode. That's It's the big Afghanistan. episode. It's the big one. Yeah, yeah. This is the one cuz the the fans of the. United States of Al, I don't know who. they are. I imagine they're.

older white people with dementia's not. it's setting in. It's not It hasn't. fully ravaged their brain. Sure. But it's setting in. And they're like, "We like the United States of Al.". And it's all cuz that's CBS's crowd. They're old people. Mhm. They're elderly people that watch the. United States of Al, and it explains to. them why we went to war in Afghanistan. uh, on through the TV. And they sit. there and they let mashed potatoes.

dribble out of their mouths while they. stare. at this. So, now let's play this for. everyone. This is the Afghanistan. episode from the United States of Al. Riley. Is it confirmed? The Taliban took Herat. Kabul might be. next. Al's family's there. We're at the airport. Although, there's. so many people. I don't think I can do. this. Listen to me. for a minute. This is. So, Al's family is still in Afghanistan.

He's. Uh, uh, during this scene, do you like do. you. quit. when they ask you to do this? When they say, "Do you mind taking out a. phone, and then you're going to on. speakerphone, pretend you're talking to. someone desperately trying to get out of. Afghanistan.". Like, at this point, do you think of. choosing another career? There's always got to be a moment in.

your career. Like, I have it all the. every day, every minute. But you got to. imagine that when you're doing this, it's so. offensive on so many levels and. it's. First of all, when painful things happen, of course. one tries to make them into art forever, right? But this is like immediately this. is happening and it's also happening in. the most grotesque way imaginable. Like. we're rewriting the season premiere so. that we can deliver a powerful moving.

message uh from our sitcom. on CBS. Play the rest of this, but it's. crazy. it's crazy they're doing a scene where I. guess his family member going, "I don't. know if I can do this.". And Al is trying to talk them through. it. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Play it from the beginning again, please, and I won't interrupt. Riley, is it confirmed? The Taliban took Herat. Kabul might be. next. Al's family's there.

We're at the airport. Although there's. so many people, I don't think I can do. this. Listen to me. I am right there with you. But he's not. But but hold on. But Al. is in America. That's right. Now, could. does CBS include any of the perspective. of the Taliban. in this? Like does the Taliban get to have any.

say. at all? Or is this just some type of. like. you know, propaganda vehicle for the US? Because I think the Taliban. have something to say as well that I. would like to see their. uh. opinion. in a CBS sitcom as well. If we could fictionalize. the Taliban.

and what they want out of this whole. thing. Well, when is it on? When can you watch. The United States of Al? I think it's coming out sometime this. week. It says the premiere's dropping. really soon. Cuz I want I really want to see this. Well, it's exciting. And the the Indian actor seemed to have. locked his account upon the uh. release of this promo. Well, we it's not the actor's fault. They're saying the words. that.

they were written on the page. people are mad that he's Indian though. and he's doing an Afghani accent. People are They're not even mad at the. They're not even mad at the right. things. What they should be mad at is that A, the show exists. Right. B, CBS exists. They're not even mad at the, you know? They should uh. I like that. The Taliban just took. Herat. Kabul could be next. Al has family. there. Here's a real synopsis of an episode. that came out.

this year. Al greets Riley's daughter Hazel and. introduces himself as her godfather on a. video call with his mother. Al is. berated for wearing shorts as it against. his religion as a Muslim to do. The. following day, Al and Riley go to the. DMV where Al becomes nervous after. seeing that his female driving. instructor Paula is also wearing shorts. and as a result fails his driving test. Wanting to adjust to American social. norms, Al talks with Riley, Art, and an. offended Lizzie to sort things out. deciding to. to avoid forcing his religious double. standards on other people. In his. following visit to the DMV with Paula as.

his driving instructor, Al overcomes his. issues by acknowledging both Paula and. himself are wearing shorts only to. become nervous once again after stopping. at a traffic light next to a charity car. wash with bikini-clad women. Hm, okay. Why are we doing this? Why Why do we need to do this? Why are we trying to do this? I'm very curious as to why. CBS is doing this. Like this is a guy who's going to have.

to like some of his some of his beliefs. and and views are seem a little. antiquated and CBS is now trying to. figure out like funny situations to put. him in. I I mean. who's this for? I guess this is for young. Muslims that love CBS. I suppose so. Is that what it's about? That are also wrestling with some of. these ideas? And they need to. Al goes to a party with milk and gets.

nervous when the women start taking. jello shots in their [ __ ]. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't. know how to square this with his Muslim. faith. Drinking tequila out of a woman's belly. button really tests his religion. Next. week on The United States of Al. It's the worst show in the world other. than the La Brea. Have you seen this. thing La Brea? No, no. It's a show where the I think there's a.

sinkhole and then three then people read. the read read the description of this. A massive sinkhole opens up in the. middle of LA separating a family between. two worlds. The mother and son fall into. an unexplainable. pri- primeval land alongside a group of. strangers trying to figure out where. they are and how to get back home. Left. above is a daughter who barely manages. to survive the disaster and the father. whose troubled past and hallucinations. make him an unlikely choice to help. solve the mystery and reunite the.

family. What? But when he realizes his visions might. just be the key to finding their loved. ones, time will be the only thing that. stands in their way. This show is about a hole that opened up. and people fell into it into a world. with dinosaurs. This is the biggest show. on TV right now. And I know a kid in it who's like a nice. kid, but I do think it has to be. canceled and he has to be homeless. Because this is truly a. horrible horrible thing. So, this is the biggest show and Squid. Game, the show on Netflix. Perhaps. I don't know anything about.

Squid Game, but all I know is that La. Brea is about people falling in a hole. and landing. in The Land Before Time. And they're like running around fighting. like big prehistoric animals. I mean, look at the Look at the La Brea. I mean, is there anything stupider than this? Who is working like. They don't know what to do anymore.

So, they're just like, "Yeah, whatever, man. Let's just. Yeah, it's a hole that opens up and. everybody falls into it and they fight. dinosaurs. And the dad has. hallucinations and they unlock the key. to the mystery." What's the key to the. We don't know. We'll figure out in season 4. Leave us. alone. It's embarrassing. And Salt Bae is. losing his mind suggesting that he's. becoming an inspiration to millions of. children. Salt Bae is now saying This is his.

quote. "Now everybody wants to be a. butcher because of me. Now if you ask a. kid they want to be Salt Bae. They see. me as an idol. I'm an inspiration to a. lot of people in a very short period of. time.". Salt Bae, let me correct you. You're an inspiration to absolutely no. one. No child wants to be you. I've never been to Salt Bae's. restaurants. He had one viral video where he was. salting meat. That was it. Well, we know that. But have you ever been to his. restaurants? Mhm. Mhm. Well, it's these restaurants where I.

guess on a good day he walks around from. table to table and he has like a a big. sword. This is true. And then he just. lobs women's clits off with his sword. I mean, this is. crazy, but people like it. People love. it. He lobs clits of women off, and he. performs cliterectomies. of women eating in the restaurant, and. people like it. And then he salts the uh.

[ __ ]. I just personally. Yeah. I think it's a little backwards, but. people like it. Imagine eating in a Salt Bae restaurant. like unironically. going there and going like, "I'm excited. for this.". "I'm excited.". The eye-popping prices at Salt Bae's New. London restaurant include an $850 steak. and a $15 Red Bull. Well, here's the. deal.

I am a fan of raising the prices of food. Mhm. till it becomes comical. I do like that. There's something that's very fitting. about raising the prices of food so that. they become so ridiculous. and insane. I remember when steaks used. to be like in the high 30s. Then they. were in the mid 40s for a while. Now. then they were in the 50s. Now like. they're $80, $72 for a steak. Some of them are well. north of $100 depending on the cut that.

you get, depending if it's wagyu or not, wagyu. You know, like. it it's crazy, but this is what they. want. Like if you're an idiot and you're. dumb enough to go to Salt Bae's. restaurant, you should pay thousands of. dollars for that. The steak should be 2,000. cuz you're already dumb enough to go. Right. Like that's the marketing meeting. Like. when they talk to Salt Bae, they go, "Listen, these people are already stupid. enough to walk in the door of this.

restaurant. You've proved absolutely. nothing about your ability to do. anything other than like. let salt trickle down your [ __ ]. forearm onto a piece of meat. So, the. fact that people are going to this means. they're idiots. And idiots and they're. rich enough and they'll pay any amount. of money. So, let's just start charging. $850. for a steak. And why not? Why not? I'm for this in a. big way.

Somebody tweeted, "It's cheaper to fly. and have food at Salt Bae's Turkish. restaurant than to go to the London. one.". Yeah, the London one's very expensive. I love when you get Now, by the way, somebody said that Salt Bae, and I don't. know if this is true, is a very popular. Halloween costume. Is this Is it Could this possibly be. true? Let's see here.

I mean, let me hit news to see if it's like. I mean, I'm not seeing any anybody write. anything about it. Supposedly, Salt Bae's I hey I was. uh. "I'm an inspiration to children all over. the world." has something to do with the. fact that people are dressing up as him. First of all, kids don't want to be uh. restaurant tours. They want to be like. firemen. Right. They want to be like like garbage men. They like things with trucks. Men.

Little girls want to be like princesses. Now, I'm not saying this is always the. case. I don't want to reinforce the. gender binary, but a lot of people they. children don't want to They're not like. thinking clearly. Do you know what I mean? Like, what kind. of children are an inspira- Imagine if. you asked your son or daughter, like, "What do you want to be?" and they go, "Well, you know what I really like? This. guy Salt Bae. He doesn't really do. anything and everybody goes to his. restaurants and they spend $900 on. steak. So, I wish I could be like him.".

Cuz it's really spectacle. Like, your. 3-year-old tells you this. That'd be ter- That'd be terrifying. Yeah, if your 3-year-old just looks at. you and goes, "The world is primarily. spectacle.". Salt Bae really exemplifies this, wouldn't you say? You go, "What?". Kids want to be like Spider-Man when. they grow up. They don't want to be a. some freak. This is a guy, by the way, like you know. how Mario Batali came out that Mario. Batali had a rape room? Yes, yes. What do you think is going to come out. about Salt Bae eventually?

It's going to come out that Salt Bae was. like a cannibal who liked carving women. up and and eating them. Where does he come from, Salt Bae? Uh Turkey. Interesting. Salt Bae. Well, we wish him the best. He's a uh. He's a figure that uh nurse rat. Yeah, I. mean. Turkish chef. Yeah, it's the power of uh Instagram. Good for him.

Mhm. Good for him. He made a lot of money. All you need is. one viral video on Instagram that gets. people going. Truly. All you need is one viral video. on Instagram. And and and you can hawk your products. to morons. who want to feel something before the. end. And that's what his restaurant is about. People in his restaurant they're just. like this with the phone. Like, "Yeah, yeah, look. Look where we are. LOOK AT SALT.

BAE.". PEOPLE REALLY HAVE SO little. going on in their life that it's. exciting. to them. Speaking of products, boy do we. have a lot of them. Where are they? Where are the ads? Wake. up. Thank you. Where are these advertisements? We only use We only advertise products. on this show that I have a personal love. for and relationship with. I would never. in my life and many of you know this.

about me, all the things that I've been. involved with, subprime mortgages, office supplies, I have the highest standards of. integrity. No one's standards of. integrity are higher than mine when it. comes to. product placement and and branding. And so. every product here is something that I. am intimately acquainted with, I've. used, I love. What is this? This is BetterHelp. I mean, I have I cannot say enough about. BetterHelp because. people need help. And the help that.

they're getting is what? Uh over the phone, on the computer. No, it's not. No, it's not. What kind of help are we talking about? subpar help. Oh, right. Yes, if if they're not using. BetterHelp. That's for sure. Right. See how dumb he is? He doesn't. follow anything. BetterHelp. is a helpline, but it's not a helpline. It's real therapists. that have been recruited.

to help you deal with your problems. online. It's not like self-help. It's not a crisis line. These are. intelligent people that want to help. you. They're compassionate, intelligent. Better h e l p. There's over a million. people that have taken charge of their. mental health with the help of an. experienced professional. In fact, so. many people have been using BetterHelp. they got to recruit additional. counselors in every one of the 50. states. You can log in your account. anytime and send a message to your. counselor. You'll get timely and.

thoughtful responses. Plus, you can. schedule weekly video or phone sessions. and you won't ever have to sit in an. uncomfortable waiting room as with. traditional therapy. Go to betterhelp.com/reviews. and you can read about all the reviews. But, if you go to betterhelp.com/timd, well, now we're talking. Because what? Then you're going to get. What do you get? That's better h e l p and you join over. the million people have taken charge of. their mental health. Better HELP and Tim Dillon Show.

listeners get 10% off their first month. Are you kidding me? That's pretty good. Oh, it's disgusting how how much you. people get. Better HELP TimD /timd you. get 10% off your first month at Do you. know and I I I've told you this. Mhm. I had a therapist. once. Mhm. And they they're not a lot of them. aren't good. Mhm. But the people that I that use this seem. to be very happy with it. Yeah.

And that's beautiful to me. It's absolutely beautiful. Because I feel that if I had a better. therapist, I would have more joy. That's definitely true. 100%. Yeah. The podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. and Tim Dillon Show listeners get 10%. off their first month at. betterhelp.com/timd. I love cereal. It's one of my favorite. things, but sometimes I say to myself, "Jesus [ __ ] Christ, it's [ __ ]. sugar-filled. I'm going to kill myself. and everyone I know. I'm such a sugar.

pig." Oh man, I love licking that sugar. It's just like sex. You feel it all down. your throat, that thick sugar. [ __ ] I. want sugar in my [ __ ] face. I look and I feel when I eat sugar, I. feel happy but then sad and I and I. sleep sometimes I pull into a parking. lot and I sleep in the back seat of my. car and I go to sleep. And if someone. wakes me up, I say, "Fuck you. [ __ ]. you." And I just start screaming and. they go, "I just want to make sure.

you're okay." And I'm like, "Fuck you.". Because I've had sugar. Sugar is very. bad. The happiest people I know don't. eat sugar. They just eat bone marrow. They're happier. Sugar is bad and it's. October. It is so hard to not eat sugar. in October. Candy and Halloween and. pumpkin muffins and apple TARTLETS AND. PECAN [ __ ] PIE. AND YOU JUST lose. your mind with the sugar. I mean, you. just I mean, the other day I was eating. a pumpkin. [ __ ] I was eating a a pumpkin scone.

You know, a hard one. Oh, wow. And I was knowing on it. And and and. someone came up to me and they said, "Does that have sugar in it?" And I. said, "You stupid [ __ ] of course it. does." And they go, "Are there any. sugar-free scones?" And you know what I. did? I beat the living [ __ ] out of them. And it was a diabetic and dialysis who. was very weak, but I attacked them. And. they had they were older. And every time. you hit them, you could see their blood. clotting in real time. They had those. They were like very frail in their skin.

And I just started wailing on them, throwing haymakers. And you saw this. blood all over their body. And their. eyes were like sunken in. to their head like a demon. And they. were just like, "I just want a. sugar-free." And I say, "No sugar-free. None." But then I remembered that I. should have. told them about Magic Spoon cereal. Because in all actuality, Magic Spoon is. sugar-free, and that's what makes it. good. So, if you go to. magicspoon.com/timdillon, get a custom. bundle of cereal and try it today. And. be sure to use our promo code Tim.

Dillon. They use high-quality sweeteners. like monk fruit. There's 0 g of sugar, 13 to 14 g of protein, four net carbs in. each serving, only 140 calories a. serving. It's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb. I'm telling you right now, I. think I killed that person. I'm not. sure. But. I wish I told them about mag- Magic. Spoon instead of physically assaulting. them. Because they were elderly and very. sick. And that's where I sometimes regret my. actions. Do you know what I mean?

I feel like you would have wouldn't have. done that if you had known that they. just brought back two super popular. flavors. Which ones did they bring back? Cookies and cream and maple waffle. permanently. Here's uh let me tell you this. It could. have gone one of two ways. Because if I. knew that, I would have either A, not. done it at all, or would have been so. excited I would have slit her throat. I don't know which way it would have. gone. If I knew that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? That's the difficult thing. magicspoon.com/timdillon. to grab a custom bundle of cereal. Try. today. Buy the Magic Spoon, folks. You.

need to do it. Everyone I know that's. using Magic Spoon is a beautiful person. inside and out. magicspoon.com/timdillon. Use a promo code Tim Dillon. $5 off. You. get $5 off. So, we're excited about The Many Saints. of Newark, and we hope it's good. We. know several people that will really. kill themselves if it's not good. They're seeing it the first day it comes. out. Uh people get really excited about. these things. That's That's a big part. of their life.

Like I was in New York with people and. they went, "This is where they filmed. The Sopranos." Like that's the entire. way they interface with the world is. their show. And I love The Sopranos. I. think it's probably the greatest show. ever made, but I haven't, you know, rewatched it 17 times. And I'm not going. to see, you know, I didn't buy my. tickets 6 months ago to see The Many. Saints of Newark for the first day. But. I understand that people do. It's like. that Irishman movie where people were. really overly invested. You know, it's enough already. To me, I. think it's enough already. I think it's.

overkill. I haven't even seen the movie, and I'm going to go out and just say. already like I didn't need the prequel. to Tony Soprano's life. I just didn't. care. It didn't mean anything to me. I. thought it was a brilliant piece of art. We don't need to make more of it than. what it was, right? We don't need It's. not a philosophy of life, I don't think, or it shouldn't be. I don't think we need that. I think we. need to just enjoy it for what it is, which is great art, and then move away, step away. We don't need to get The Sopranos. cookbook, and we don't need to, you.

know, talk about Feech La Manna. We. don't need to do any of that. We don't. need to start going through the episodes. that have changed our lives. I think we. just really need to move on. But again, it's, you know, people are putting a. little too much into it, in my opinion. But, I could be wrong. Maybe it's the. greatest film that's ever been made. James Gandolfini's son is in it. Why? I. don't know. And Philip Seymour Hoffman's. son is now in things. Licorice Pizza with Paul Thomas. Anderson. Why? Why are we putting a It They're. [ __ ] the children. Why in God's It.

makes me hate the legends that died. We're giving your kid Aren't these. people the same people that talk about. how unfair everything is and inequality. and they're always voting for Democrats. because they're going to fix the. inequality and there's so many. concentrations of wealth and all they do. is is [ __ ] give dead people's kids. jobs that are already rich? Christ. almighty, enough. THEY'RE ALREADY. [ __ ] RICH. HE'S NOT A GENIUS. Philip.

Seymour Hoffman's son's not a genius. His name is [ __ ] Cooper. He's clearly. not a genius. Genius skips many. generations, okay? Like all of them. God. forbid we get an actor who's been in. [ __ ] the grind for years sleeping on. a [ __ ] floor trying to get this job. who may be the next Philip Seymour. Hoffman. Maybe let's do that. Okay? What. do you HOW DO YOU CAST things now? ancestry.com? THIS IS ABSURD. IT'S STUPID AND.

DISGUSTING. All the things you people. purport to care about, you don't. It's. just a cheap [ __ ] trick to get people. out to the [ __ ] movies. Well, how. about make a good [ __ ] movie instead. of using these cheap [ __ ] tricks, okay? I have no beef with Gandolfini's son and. I have no beef with Cooper Hoffman or. whatever, but Jesus Christ already. Why. are we doing this? They're not the best. candidates. It's absolutely impossible.

that they are the best candidates for. the job. Yes. There's no [ __ ] way. They're going to keep doing this. They're just going to keep giving roles. to children whose parents are legends. who've died. Here's what I love about stand-up. comedy. I know I won't mention names. There are legends whose children do. stand-up comedy. No one cares about. them. And that's so important. Cuz it is. kind of a little bit of a meritocracy, isn't it? Isn't it?

I mean, so what's going on? And I've had. a little I've had enough with Paul. Thomas Anderson, too, you freak. Wait, no, he's the genius. Who have I had. enough with? Moonrise Kingdom. Oh, Wes Anderson? I've had enough with him. I've just had. enough with him. And I like a lot of. what he's done. Paul Thomas Anderson, I like a lot. I. know that's your favorite director. Yeah, he's great. He is great. Wes Anderson, I've had. enough with. He's put Chalamet in the. new one? Yeah, I'm kind of sick of this.

Chalamet, stop ruining everything you. do. He really is, man. He's ruining everything. This is the new one. It's like, you. know, it's Bill Murray, Frances. McDormand, the whole thing, but then. Timothy is is kind of the star of this. one. Oh, god, get me out of here, please. This life is. It's called The French Dispatch. Here it. is. Of course it is. He just look at it Look at his face. He. just. That's good. It's called one You know. what I call that? One black actor. That's what I call it. I don't call it The French Dispatch. I.

call it more of the same. It's fre- You know, go go. I want Christopher Guest to cast a movie. with Fred Willard's son. You know? Everybody's You know, and this is. Hollywood. Everybody's like, "No, it's. the concentrations of wealth and family. money and. Listen, Wes Anderson's great, and maybe. this movie will be good. I'm I'm a. little sick of Chalamet. I'm just sick of it. Yeah. Can't we have something else? Can we.

have something else other than this. twink who doesn't age? This pixie who does not age that must. prance through every [ __ ] movie. that's ever been made. Is there anything else? That's all. Is there anyone else that can do this. job? Please. And not Hansel and Gretel Elgort, not. him either. Can we get someone else, please? Other than Timothy Chalamet. What about. Cooper Hoffman? What does Cooper Hoffman look like? I'll show you.

This is That's him as a kid. So, here's. what he looks like in the movie right. here. He kind of looks like Philip Seymour. Hoffman in Boogie Nights, just kind of. the. So, if this isn't offensive, why am I. supposed to be offended that uh like. Jamie Dimon's kid has money? Right. So, when somebody at Goldman Sachs gives. a job to their son, why does that. supposed to offend me? You frauds. Why.

is that supposed to offend me if this. doesn't offend me? Or shouldn't it all. offend me? I guess technically, yeah. One of the kids that got hired on SNL's. dad is like a producer at SNL. I don't. really care about that. I might even. tweeted like enough already cuz the. kid's funny. The kid is funny. And if I. see these movies and these guys are. really good in it, I'll still say [ __ ]. them because it still should have went. to, you know, one of these other people. I'd end up hating. But.

one of the kids got SNL, I forget. You. know, one of those strange looking kids. from Brooklyn, that sketch group. And. I forget the name. It's unimportant. But. his dad's a producer on SNL. It's Adam. Sandler collab. And people. Yeah, and people people were like all. twisted up about that. I'm like, guys, it's the way the world works. The guy. with the dad gets the job. And the kid's. funny in their sketch group's funny. I. mean, they probably hate me or whatever, you know, cuz I'm logical and brilliant, but. um. I just don't care. Like if I I'm just.

saying let's not care at all. Like don't. [ __ ] ever come to me and start. talking about like finance families. then. Stop with this [ __ ] Just cut it out. immediately. If you're going to do this, and Hollywood seems like they're going. to do this, if we're just going to as a. as a gimmick. Mhm. give roles to dead people's kids, then I. don't want to hear [ __ ]. about [ __ ]. the presidency of George W. Bush.

Remember that when Bush was the thing. that was the entire narrative of like. how would you let this guy I'm sure this. guy is a nice guy. Michael Gandolfini? I'm sure he's lovely. I don't know. kid. I don't know. I don't care. Take your money and get out of here. Can anyone take their goddamn money and. leave, please? Is anything ever enough for Christ? Anything. How many generate like what let it go.

We didn't need this [ __ ] movie. The Many Saints of Newark. We didn't need it. Yeah, we didn't need El Camino either. The Breaking Bad one with Jesse Pinkman. We did not need that. I didn't even I. didn't even dignify that but with even. like letting it hold any space in my. head. We do not need that. Who's that. actor? Uh Aaron Paul. We do not need more of him. We do not need that. We do not need La.

Brea. And then one of the kids in La. Brea I think is a sweet kid, but you you. have to be homeless and the show has to. be canceled. Sorry. The Jack kid. Oh, Jack Martin? Yeah, he's a nice kid. I've met him. You. know, he's an actor in LA. But he's not. a bad actor probably, but the show is. atrocious and I believe it should be. canceled and that he should have to work. at like Astro Burger for a year to pay. for what he's done. Yeah, yeah. To just flip a few, put a few, put a.

little mayo on a bun. Make a nice burger to pay for what. you've done to us with this show, where. people fall in a hole. I I. You know? And why should he have a chance? Let. some of the Let some of some dead guy's. kid do it. Why have a new actor do it? Let's have a. dead Let's have someone who died. Let's. have their kid do it.

That's all. That seems to make sense, you know? One exception is Michael K. Williams'. son. Michael K. Williams? I don't know if he has a son, but maybe. if he has a son, he could do something. Okay. That's my one exception. Oh, yeah, that would be cool. That might be cool. That's one. exception. Mhm. It It rarely doesn't skip a generation. You have like Larry McMurtry, James.

McMurtry. It It's hard to think about. that. Princess Diana died, right? And what's her son doing over here? Wasting everyone's god damn time. Him and his wife are running around. spending millions of dollars on. security, okay? I don't know what they're afraid They're. afraid that someone's going to go come. near them and be racist. So, they have. to spend millions and millions of. dollars going to New York City hotels. She You know, she spent 75K on the on.

the baby shower at the presidential. suite at The Mark. You're sitting there. eating caviar. And they are running. around here. So, I just just stop. talking about fairness and inequality. and the death tax and all this [ __ ]. Like, stop this, please. Stop it, please. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm just you know. Maybe they're good. Maybe maybe I'll see. The Many Saints of Newark. But again, the gay storyline shocked me. It stunned me.

I was not prepared for it. It was very. interesting. There's a scene in the. thing. Uh-huh. where Tony is just getting. I mean, it's brutal and he's screaming, "OH! OH! OH, [ __ ]. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S SCREAMING AS HE'S. GETTING [ __ ] There is no god." He's. going, "THERE IS NO [ __ ] GOD! THERE. IS NO GOD! I HATE GOD!" And I just go, "You know, IT'S TOO MUCH.". timdilloncomedy.com live tickets Uh uh.

we're on tour. I I'm I just shut up and. go into the shows and don't I don't even. care anymore. I have to go to the. Ontario Improv. Ontario, California is. one of the biggest dumps in America, but. the crowds were [ __ ] phenomenal. because they have nothing to live for. Um. you know, when does this come out? Uh tomorrow, the Saturday. Yeah, it's over. By the time this comes. out, it's over. Go to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Get tickets, folks. I'll be. there next weekend. Spokane, Washington. Seattle, Washington. We're there at the. end of the month. Portland, Oregon. Indianapolis. Morgantown, West Virginia.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Washington, D.C. New York. Atlantic City. Atlantic. City. Rochester. And. many more. Iowa City. Madison. Louisville. Los Angeles. Bakersfield. I. do want to maybe say something about. this Iowa City thing. Okay. But we don't have the time. It's 3:57. got like 3 minutes if you want to. It's not enough. Yeah, yeah. What I'm going to say is I'm going to. discuss it on the Patreon. The people. that run the theater in Iowa City sent. out some type of email apologizing for.

booking me because some members of their. like. corn community were offended by things I. had said. Of course, they're not. canceling the show because they want. money. They're hypocrites. And they sent. out an email, um, you know, and they. said that I had like questioned the. vaccine or something. I'm vaccinated. I. never said don't get the vaccine. I've. told people to make their own choices. I've also said the vaccine's not working. as well as everybody thought it, you. know, would. And by the way, that is.

something that I believe Pfizer would. agree with. I mean, this is legitimately. crazy. Um, I've said people should make. their own decisions about that and about. everything, about voting, about. everything. I don't care what you do. Um, there's good reasons, I'm sure, that. people have for not taking the vaccine. And then there's good reasons that. people have for taking it. I don't know. your health and your medical It's not my. [ __ ] problem. I'm not your doctor. Um, and then he also said that I said. something racist about Black Lives. Matter. I believe I suggested that the. person who, uh, was running Black Lives.

Matter should not have spent millions of. dollars buying four houses. I said that. Tamika Mallory Book mother said we. didn't see any of the money. Maybe she's. a racist, too. I don't know. I guess. everyone's a racist. Um, but this. theater of, you know who these people. are in Iowa. I mean, they they're. they're the widest, uh, biggest [ __ ]. in the world who are. pseudo-intellectuals, worthless people. They live in Iowa. They're in the art. scene and they live in Iowa. That's how. seriously they take doing things. Um, and they're embarrassments. They're. embarrassments to life, these people.

Let's be very honest. They're. embarrassing. They're embarrassments. And they sent out an article because. some fat chick in the theater program. didn't like something I said. Well, how. about moving out of Iowa and trying to. make it for real, okay, dummy? Move to. New York, move to LA, and try to get on. La Brea, or whatever the hell you want. to do. But you sent an email out and you. didn't cancel the shows. I don't know. what I'm going to do. I'm looking for. other venues. I'm angry about this. I'm. not happy about it. Um,

they're like treating me like it's weird. to send an email out and be like, uh, he's questioning the response to the. pandemic. I'm like, I didn't do that. I. don't even know what the [ __ ] that. means. Um this is weak. It's truly weak that. they did this. I'm unhappy about it. Their slimy, serpent-like. uh behavior to do this, to send an email. out on this low. on the side. And then you look through. the comments. Where are all these. comments? I can't find anything. I. went on the Facebook, the Instagram, the.

Twitter. No one's mad. is everyone that's so angry about this. in your pretend world. it's in their inbox. Shut up, Iowa. Give me a break, please. You're lucky I'm going there. We should. use this as a nuclear testing facility. The Iowa Democratic primary. All these. people care about is they have the Iowa. caucus. We're all these idiots. Every. year they get a bunch of morons in a. house and the Democrats go in there AND. PEOPLE ARE "WELL, I'M CONCERNED ABOUT. TRADE AND MY DAUGHTER'S NON-BINARY." AND.

THEN YOU GET YOU HAVE TO PRETEND THAT. these [ __ ] people matter. These. corn-fed slobs, no one gives a [ __ ]. Shut the [ __ ] up. And we have to pretend. that they matter because of this dumb. electoral college or whatever. And I. think the electoral college is good. because you do need uh some proportional. representation. I'm not trying to tell. people in these small states what to do. But the idea that we're supposed to care. about these [ __ ] monsters is just not. true. And that's they they derive their. sense of like political importance from. the Iowa caucus. Where they all have to convince each.

other. It's not even a secret ballot. They all have to convince each other and. like they all have to debate and. somebody's like "Pete Buttigieg is in. the diner and he saw me and he said that. he was going to. be fair to the little babies that are. different.". It's like all right, you shut the [ __ ]. up. So I'm you know, I'm in a one-sided. war with this dumb theater that just. sent an email. But of course they don't. want to cancel the show because they. need they need money cuz tickets are. selling. Yeah, tickets are selling and. they they need money to pay their $400 a.

month mortgage or something, you know? Whatever. Anyway, I'll be. I'll be in Malibu, ho. Good night.