#269 - The Activist | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim. dillon show here with ben avery our. producer from a temporary studio an. undisclosed location. uh in los angeles california. r.i.p norm out the gate uh the worst. story of the year hopefully in comedy. um you know. uh norm mcdonald passed away one of the. greatest comedians that's ever lived uh. respected by everybody in comedy no. matter what kind of type of comedian you.

were or. what. you believed politically everybody loved. norm macdonald you were obsessed huge. fan with norm yeah. but when norm. you know retweeted us i remember that. was like a massive day right i don't. remember what video it was but it was. the oj one yeah i mean he was just a. [ __ ]. that retweet was like everything when. that happened. and then he said some kind things about. some of the stuff we did on twitter and. uh that was awesome and you know some of.

the videos we put out and some of the. clips of the podcast he had said. uh good stuff about and that just makes. your life as a comic right. to have someone like that appreciate you. especially because my story with norm is. not it doesn't start out great because i. did uh last comic standing in 2000 and. whatever it never aired. uh and i did my joke and i did well and. it was him it was damon damon wayans and. rosetta yeah and roseanne liked me demon. wayne's like. he was like.

not. he was just like yeah he just like. smiled and left. i think he said right on i don't know. what he was just like barely there like. he wasn't. i don't remember anything either way. and then norm was like how many years. you've been doing comedy i'm like four. he's like what it takes 10 years to be a. comedian what are you doing here i was. like. and i remember that was the biggest gut. punch i got in stand-up and i remember. being at the. hilton by uh where they shoot all those.

shows by where is that universal city. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i was in the. hilton and i was just like. like i couldn't even eat i was like this. is horrible and i spoke to that one of. the comics i was staying with at um. that point and he was like last comic. standing he's like you go in there and. they pay legends to tell you not to do. what you love which is kind of fun. but i got over it i kept doing it and. then he became a fan of us later on and. a lot of [ __ ] we were doing and he was.

right you know i was a four-year. five-year comic then it's like you do. need more time to mature um he did some. hilarious [ __ ] this clip is so funny. yeah i was wondering if we could play. this from the view yeah i mean there's. just by the way you can go on. a binge of norm mcdonald stuff because. all of it is funny you will lose hours. of your day. every rant every joke you go back to snl. when he's doing rental i mean just. there's nothing that's not amazing but.

play this from the view we don't want. any more murderers i think we should. just go on to the next question. oh clinton he murdered a guy yeah you. know we're not going to you know but i. have no accusations with that that's a. little confusing. let's just let's just go on to the next. book. yeah this is not my week what can i tell. you. oh it's not mine either i'm being very. nice okay. be a good boy. now norm do you never hear that no.

listen we don't need no one to get into. this and i don't want to hear it and. this is not the place to make those. accusations and you're supposed to be. funny. there you go. this is a live show. but you have been properly chastised by. barbara i'm not going to ask the next. question i thought it was a matter of. record. okay let me do this okay. i'll tell you what's a matter of record. you will not be invited back if you. don't shut up all right.

let's go. what is star jones doing now by the way. like where where did star jones land. it's interesting let's see what is she. up to i think she did like a whole. weight loss thing right. was that the direction she went in star. jones is an american lawyer what is she. doing now. she she left the view in 06 so i mean. to see what she's doing now i don't want. to lose too much of the show. i don't want to be like 30 minutes into.

this we're still like yeah we don't. really know. uh so she went from the view to her. original network court tv now rebranded. true tv. um then the final episode of star jones. aired on in 2008 and i don't think she's. done much since well she's in an episode. of the impractical jokers did you know. that oh interesting well it's. controversial because all the jokers. dress up like her. they they put on fat suits and they do. blackface and they all because the whole. joke is that none of them know. that the other three are also star jokes.

the uh a fun show uh called the activist. which um. was going to debut on i don't know one. of these networks it wants nothing to do. with this cbs. the activist. uh was announced and it was going to be. a reality competition show. where uh people competed to be crowned. the best activist.

in a battle for relevancy on social. media yes yes it was it was something. that i would pitch as a joke. uh cbs decided to actually fund and make. a show where people would compete. compete to be. the best social media. activist. and when i criticize celebrity activism. it's not so much that it's not. that it's i'm not saying like oh it's.

not good. i'm saying it's not. real like it doesn't exist. see it's. depending on the way you feel. it might be misguided but. it it's not even happening is my point. it's just people talking. nothing's going on occasionally there's. some. charity or slush fund. that you can't really. trace where the money goes.

occasionally there's a fundraiser. where people go and eat nice food and. wear. designer clothing and they all write. checks. and then a portion of that money. gets funneled to something that may help. someone somewhere down the line but it's. not really like direct. action right. um. and this is this is really what it is.

and every now and then. hollywood like does something. that's so. heinous. that they have to disavow it usually. they try to defend what they do. even though they're on very shaky ground. like the imagine video people are like. it makes people happy shut up you're a. cynic. you know remember that when everybody. got together in the beginning of the. pandemic when everybody was unemployed.

and they ever was shut down and nobody. had a job and the hero nurses we've. heard endlessly about are all supposedly. the nurses found that comforting i guess. i don't know we couldn't get them ppe. they were wearing garbage bags but. apparently seeing gail gadon all these. people sing. help them but hollywood every now and. then just does something so egregious. that they have to immediately go hey our. mistake and retool. and the activist competit it's like the.

apprentice for black lives matter. activists. truly no it's the apprentice for woke. activists on instagram like you know the. the tits out you know you we've all seen. the instagrams. every hot chick on instagram and even. most of the hot dudes the profile. pictures like blm. make sure the pronouns are in there she. her. blm here are the tits. that was the show.

they said let's find hot. attractive. socially conscious activists. to basically go and fool the world. using cbs. which is a pretty large platform. let's bring on people. to play a trick to play a joke on the. world uh and say that they are. really concerned with activism.

but have the time. to participate in a reality show on cbs. in the midst of their very busy careers. as activists. they have the time. to do a reality competition show some. would say it's a frivolous endeavor oh. no no. it's going to get them a lot of new. people. to follow them on social media so they. can continue to do.

better activism. okay this is this was the plot of the. show. this by the way you don't realize how. long. or how. shows have to get made there's a process. and i've been through the process many. times and it's never worked but i know. the process there are layers of approval. that you have to get from many different. people it's not just like one person. goes let's do it. this idea had to climb a ladder of.

multiple people that had to sign off on. this saying that this was a good idea. also this didn't start yesterday. this idea was not hatched a week ago. which makes me think that this idea. probably came to an executive during the. riots yeah the timeline makes sense the. timeline does make sense so during the. riots. after the murder of george floyd which. was a [ __ ] and like it was an.

execution killing of george floyd. and and all of these things are all. figuring out tamir rice this this poor. kid who got shot you know who had a bb. gun and all of these different. things that had made people. really start talking about policing and. rights and all that during this time. someone in the town that i'm in right. now. had an idea for a show. they had they were looking at all these. people on social media remember the.

black square i put one up yes i remember. the black square i didn't know i thought. we're all going to be it was going to be. a collage or something didn't turn out. that way the black square after because. you just if you were white the next day. you put you like you were just like hey. man here's the black square cause that's. nuts. i don't want to stand on anyone's neck. because we all know and listen it was a. cia psyop sure but sometimes every now. and then you just go sometimes the cia. psyop is better than people going why.

the [ __ ]. did this piece of [ __ ] not post a black. square. you look like you wouldn't post a black. square so i threw up that black square. and cause that was you know people were. really figuring out. how they were gonna like be like hey man. this shit's [ __ ] up. like i'm not i don't go in with the. narrative that all cops are horrible. people but there's a problem right you. can't stand on someone's neck for nine.

minutes this is an issue. um around that time. when people were having those. discussions. around that time uh when people were. calling for these ridiculous things that. have been reversed like defunding the. cops and. abolishing the cops when none of that. really works. but around that time someone in in the. town i'm in now uh said there's a show. here. that's what they said they go there's a. show. there's a show.

they had to do this. they had to sit in a room and do this. with other executives they had to go. we're so focused right now on positive. change no this is what had to happen and. ben's laughing because he knows exactly. there were tanks rolling down the street. at this time too no no the country was. on the brink of like. i don't i don't want to say civil war. but whatever was going on was. i mean i remember smoking a cigarette in. palm springs i was on a full giannis and. we were watching these riots we were. going this is [ __ ] crazy we're on the.

phone for two hours i smoked like two. packs of cigarettes just staring at. these. things it was unbelievable just things. getting lit on fire and it was crazy. during that time someone went you know. we're all you know in a meeting and. maybe it was a zoom meeting probably. nobody's in the office yeah son of zoom. call they went you know. there's just this young generation of. activists. that we really respect. you know think parkland. you know think david hogg emma gonzalez. you know they're young they're hungry.

for change. they're smart they're well spoken. they're telegenic. we just feel like th right now this. moment is so important they love the. word moment they're like this moment is. so important. what we want to do is pit these. activists against each other on. television in a competition. setting and have them do. and by the way we haven't even. we have not even gotten god help us.

to what the challenges would have been. because in a competition show. there needs to be challenges. there needs to be uh. something introduced as a variable to. see who. survives and who does not. there's got to be remember you know the. at the end of like any competition show. survivor you're off the island. project runway whatever top chef pack. your knives and go going back to the.

weakest sling you are the weakest thing. goodbye all of that you're out. so they had to dismiss there was going. to be a way to dismiss these activists i. don't know what they were going to say. it was designed to show this was long. hours and ingenuity that activists put. into changing the world. i mean. what were the challenges going to be. like what i mean by that is this is a. competition right of course so there's. got to be some type because by the way. they had these discussions too they were. like there's got to be some type of uh.

competition here. uh otherwise people are going to get. bored pretty quickly. so we need a challenge like we need to. see who like should we drop all of the. people off in ferguson. this was taught this was real. these were conversations that were had. on zoom. by. production companies and networks. should we drop them all off in ferguson.

for the anniversary of michael brown's. death and see what they do. would that is that gonna play. should we drop them off in ferguson and. see what they come up with. what will they do. what if they each have to do. memorials to michael brown but they each. it they eat like. like one they all choose them a more. like some are gonna do a parade. some are gonna do like a sit-in.

show we're gonna do like direct action. some are gonna do like and and we have. to see who does it better we have small. teams of activists. i mean what was the show going to be. was that. do they describe what the show was going. to be. so this person that was on the show. alicia o'sullivan an ireland-based. activist and speaker who works to raise. youth awareness on climate change she. just wants to bomb protestants. that's not activism. they got an irish.

what she told the daily beast that she. was contacted about appearing on the. show by the end of her interview she. recalls she got the sense that no one. quite grasped the concept of activism so. whatever these no they have no idea they. didn't know what it was here's. hollywood doesn't know what activism is. they think it's just another kind of. entertainment. hollywood things activism is just. another way to build a brand. they think it's like skateboarding. they think it's like uh you know. somebody who's like uh.

into like yoga they don't understand. that it's supposed to have like an. effect. they don't get it because they don't. want the effect they're living in 10. million houses they don't understand. they think. that like activism is just a brilliant. way to build a brand so they just they. don't get it. they have no idea. they don't. they're like oh you see you're the. activist so you like care.

so we love it you're like socially. conscious you're woke you're young. you're hip i'm loving it are you. biracial perfect you have the burden of. educating one half of your family and. the legacy of the other half of your. family love it i'm eating it up. you are perfect you're 23. ivy league educated perfect. grew up in the suburbs but you had. cousins in the inner city and visited. them yes. this is what we want. now the goal of this of course for you.

is a book deal and netflix yes. well i want to change criminal justice. for him yeah yeah yeah sure. we all do. but the immediate goal here is we like. to build your socials do we see. merch do we see a clothing line. do we see a clothing line. that's what hollywood is i mean they. just it's not a town. uh built by good people for good people.

this person said so this person hogan. they said they kept pressuring me to. answer questions in a very certain way. when i was recounting my personal story. they very offensively told me that i. sounded like a robot i just felt so much. pressure in those moments that i. literally reached a breaking point on. the call and burst into tears i guess. that was the most horrifying moment. because then there was the pleasure on. his face like yes we finally got the. shot we finally got you breaking on. camera yeah well that's what it is this. sounds more like a documentary than a. reality show i don't see any no they've. changed yeah now they've changed from a. reality show to a doctor it's gonna be a.

competition. a reality show where they though there's. a winner i saw they had metrics with. social media followers that's kind of. all i could tell yeah no because again. their concept of activism. is social media followers so to them the. rock is the biggest activist. no no and to people in hollywood the. rock is the most successful activist in. america. because he's got 115 million instagram. something like that so he's the most.

successful okay so that's the metric. they decide the jenners are the second. most successful activists in america. because it's all based on social media. volume it's great. again if you haven't been in this town. or dealt with any of these people this. comes as a shock to you. right but it doesn't come as a shock to. me. what comes as a shock to me is how. quickly they disown it and you know why. they disowned it because uh who's this. usher. uh julian hugh and priyanka chopra jonas.

who's that joe jonas's wife or one of. the fred joe who are the jonas's did i. say fred well there is a freddy one. bonus jonah say he hates being called. that uh i think he just lives in soho. and does crack. the baby jonas what's his name there's. only three though no there is four. interesting kevin jonas joe jonas nick. jonas and then who's the fourth the. fourth i read about him he just he's. just in new york all day and he has. anxiety and he's on tick tock frankie.

he's on tig time. he's on tick tock and i think he does. pills but i don't know. so you know what happened they announced. a show now you got to remember these. celebrities all signed on to the show. so they shouldn't be able to get out of. this right because they all signed on. like she signed on because you know they. needed a woman of color they're like. we're gonna go with you. and then they go we're gonna go with. usher and then who's third here julian. julianne ho.

who is this just like a. like a american dancer you're like not. like nothing oh she's a nothing yeah. she's nothing she's literally nothing so. they have. she's just there to be white and blonde. hair and sit there and not scare. everybody oh dancing with the stars yeah. the way networks think about julianne. hoes they go we need a white chick in. there so that people don't automatically. feel like they're being brought before a. tribunal of people of color so we need. julian ho who looks like you know some.

girl who walked out of a barn they all. signed on to this okay. and um they filmed it. please leak this footage. i want to see you this listen to this. usher priyanka chopra. and julian ho set up for the activist. cbs competition series from global. citizen. and let's read a little bit about the. the deadline release here. and you didn't have to wait long i'm so. excited to announce i'll be co-hosting. the activists we're gonna meet six. incredibly inspirational people paying.

it forward in this world stay tuned. cbs and uh producing partners global. citizen announced the format switch. saying the activist was designed. to show a wide audience the passion long. hours and ingenuity that activists put. into changing the world hopefully. inspiring others to do the same right. that was the goal right that was the. goal. however it has become apparent the. format of the show has announced. distracts. from the vital work these incredible. activists do in their communities every. day like making them do three-legged.

races or whatever. like. whatever they were gonna do right. making them cook. the push for global change is not a. competition. anymore. i want this show as it originally was. supposed to happen. give it to me as it originally. was supposed to happen. i want a contest. outside of a planned parenthood.

that's what i want to see. i want to see. julian ho judging the photos of um. whatever. women and. guillotines or handmade tail like i. could see like somebody doing a handmade. tail thing outside of a planned. parenthood and. like julian hall and usher and priyanka. they're all sitting there and they're. like that was brilliant. it was socially conscious it was now.

the handmade still such a big show. and we just love the way that you took. pop culture elements and infused your. activism with it. you remain and then there's just claps. you know and then somebody else you're. like they're like you came out here. with just the law. and you had these tablets it looked like. 10 commandments but they were like the. rights of women. we just felt that it didn't connect we. felt that the tablet seemed a little. weird a little religious which is.

actually kind of what we're fighting. and i know that you were trying to. repurpose religion for uh you know. obviously a pro-woman moment but we just. felt like it it didn't really it didn't. it didn't work. and we are so sorry but you are going. home. please give me that show i want that. show i don't want a show where i'm just. going to be introduced to these people. no and they're so tone-deaf you think. that they're they were fighting before. this change they were fighting to like. go to kabul like go to afghanistan and. like help people for the season finale.

yeah no the executives at cbs were like. we need something big for the season. finale. they would have brought out michael. brown's mother. no i'm not i'm not kidding these people. are so soulless. they are soulless. they would have offered her a lot of. money and they would have brought her. out to crown who's the top activist. these people don't have souls i'm. talking to everyone i've met okay. [Music]. everyone i've met in hollywood that's in. these positions.

they desperately want to convince. themselves they're not evil. and they don't they just don't know how. that's why they step in [ __ ] like this. like they don't understand why this. would be offensive they don't understand. the difference between activism and. performative activism they don't get why. activism can't be a competition they. don't understand why having the most. social media followers at the end of the. day doesn't make you the best activist. they don't get it they have no. commitment to changing anything except.

their own personal circumstances which. include a newer tesla and a nicer house. that is it they will tweet about. capitalism and about feminism and about. intersectional and they will tweet tweet. and then they'll put the phone down on a. marble table and then they'll drive. their kids to private school that is. what's happening truly you know aoc and. they eat the rich dress i didn't really. talk about it or you know tax to rich at. the met i don't care anymore i can't get. invested i'm not gonna be one of these. people who like police is the price of.

aoc shoes all day like these guys sort. of like she's wearing balenciaga boots. like. guys there's more on there's more to. life but it is just funny we've kind of. reached peak satire where aoc because no. no it's my job to be here this is part. of the suffering that i must do i am. it is not easy. like people on twitter were like it is. hard for her to just face the people. she's gonna tax this is difficult i'm. like it's not difficult she was invited. so it's clearly not that difficult.

number two she's not throwing a scare. into anybody over there they're all fine. okay. um but she acts you know like a gun like. this is a little awkward it's a little. strange to see all these rich people. with the taxi rich dress but they all. love it because they know it's all so. pretent. sheath underwear dot com how many times. must i tell you about this company they. have the best underwear they have a. pouch. for your [ __ ] and balls so that you can. not sweat. and chafe.

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it's fake we're finding out a lot of. these people refuse to take the vaccine. too a lot of these a lot of the. hollywood people yeah well. again they have access to like the best. medical treatment right. like now i have a lot of money so i have. access to better medical treatment now. because i'm fat i would still take the. vaccine because covet is a holocaust of. fat people. and i just paid 10 grand to get into. some doctor concierge service where i. sat there and the guy goes don't have.

dessert i said thank you. we that's. literally i i paid like ten thousand. dollars a guy comes into beverly hills. he looks at me he goes your metabolism. is flawed. i said thank you but what's good is. he'll do all the tests to show he'll do. the blood and the sperm and the. spot him i don't know what he tests the. uh you know. your iodine level whatever it is he's in. there and he'll just do the a. the scans and the aortic and the uh. pulmonary. whatever it is he'll get it done.

um. but. the thing is these celebrities don't. want this [ __ ]. because they have the best their access. to the best thing and a lot of them are. very in very good shape yes. so they don't want it and then some of. them are a little. you know like like some of them them a. lot of celebs got the celebs that. weren't mentioned in q anon also. got like were in the queued on. they're not like. i've talked to like a-list celebrities.

that believe the world is flat. and these are like a-list people so my. point is not. like hey they should all get the vaccine. my point is like anything. that they believe they don't usually. publicly say it because sometimes it's. too controversial and then sometimes. it's like they've literally not done any. they just someone told them one day when. they were on trooms that. the world may be flat and they go hey. man. that makes a lot of sense. because a lot of the people out here.

don't know why they're here they're just. hot. and they're kind of stupid and they're. in this town and they have. bazillions of dollars like they blow me. out of the water they just have so much. money. and. life is. odd it's great but it's odd they're like. this is strange and a lot of them get. they're kind of young and like i'm 36. and i just started to do well over the. last few years a lot of these people. they hit when they're young so they. don't really have that like a lot of.

them talk about they had like a summer. job for like four months. like shyla buff made a movie about like. what sleeping in a in a like a motel. yeah yeah how long did he do that for. wasn't he on tv at like 11 and i know. his dad was stealing his money and i. feel bad about that but. didn't that end kind of quickly pretty. quickly it wasn't a decade. it wasn't like forever i'm not. minimizing what charla buff would do i'm. a fan of his and he hugged me once in. the comedy store and said i was. brilliant he won't he won't remember but.

he's a great kid and i don't care what. he did to those dogs you gotta i'm hey. you gotta get in character. the point is that. i'm saying that a lot of these people. kathy griffin used to have a joke about. jules she's like what do you sleep in a. car for a weekend like. the thing is a lot of them just make. the most out of these stories that. just aren't that. some of them like tina turner that's a. different story she was getting her ass. handed to her okay but a lot of these.

people like it's just not. it wasn't that horrible they kind of got. put on pretty quick and they started. making a lot of money so when things. like that happen and you don't know you. got to really start to figure out like. why the world is what it is. like you have to start thinking that the. you you start thinking a lot. about. why. things are the way they are because it's. not like you struggled and worked hard.

and got really good at something and. then it happened it's just like you want. a lotto so you start thinking about. things and you start trying to put. things together in your own mind you. have a lot of adult responsibilities but. you may not have an adult brain. and some of the things that these people. get into are not. like based in reality. and i res i respect nicki minaj here's. the thing with nicki minaj she went out. and said hey my my friend. and uh my.

cousin's friend got. he was impotent. uh and his balls got really big and. trinity yeah listen. and that's a cartoonish example right so. it lends itself to. um. people making fun of her right it lends. itself to being made fun of totally. understand that but again it's not a. good idea when somebody goes i want to. do more research or i have a question to. go shut up you stupid [ __ ] which is. essentially. what they did and then she uh she went. at that twitch guy she said uh he said.

tucker's white nationalist and she went. right i can't speak to. agree with even look at someone from a. particular political party people aren't. human anymore if you're black and a. democrat tells you to shove marbles up. your ass you simply have to. if another party tells you to look out. for that bus stand there and get hit. she's right about that. these these discussions are policed. and. the policing doesn't work it turns. people off. turns people off when she goes i want to.

do more research i don't understand it. and everyone goes what are you going to. go to a [ __ ] clinic and do research. you're a stupid [ __ ]. you illiterate [ __ ] i mean again these. are the progressive people that right. you illiterate [ __ ] like these are the. people that are supposedly. and then so you know. i hope every. here's the thing she's too rich when. she's got like 100 mil when you have. that kind of money you start to stray. on a lot of different issues right you. start to stray go to nicki minaj net.

worth. 80. it's got to be more it's probably a. little morbid even 80 mil. you start to say to yourself hey i got a. few things to say. at 80 million dollars you go. i got a [ __ ]. i got a take. and. people like jumped on her for it. i just i'm looking forward to the i want. every i want all rappers to be. republicans.

i i do. i want like mitch mcconnell and little. uzivert to do like things together i. want nicki minaj to have a song with. laura loomer. i'm getting the racks facts rags i don't. want to get the facts facts fact like i. want. just pure chaos. whereas like kanye but you saw with. kanye like connie's a billionaire you. get to a certain level of money and you. go yeah i just i don't want to feel like. there's anything that's off limits to.

discuss. to just throw out there. but then of course everybody's like but. you have a platform and you have. influence and if you say something well. then. and instead of analyzing why that is. that these people have all this. influence instead of saying why do we. live in a country where no one listens. to their parents religious leaders or. the government and they're listening to. nicki minaj instead of analyzing that. we just go no you have to say everything. we want you to say because you have this. massive platform and people listen to. you. and instead of going well listen.

the family structure has like. disintegrated to the point where. children are like being raised by. popular culture which is a horrible idea. and getting information from celebrities. is not good that being said it seems. somewhat inevitable to a certain degree. so as a parent i guess you should get. between nicki minaj's tweet and your. child. perhaps.

if you feel like they should get the. vaccine like what i'm trying to. understand here. is the terror. people are terrified that like we're. losing. nicki minaj like if nicki minaj. has this point of view. god help us. what is next. who will be next. she is a domino to fall. and when it is she falls. then what happens. who will be next.

little baby. who's coming that who will next say. global warming isn't real. who's gonna do it. will dj khaled. talk about a border wall. what who's who's next. i think that's part of what this is. they go we can't lose. and you are losing by the way the vmas. had less than a million views like less.

than a million viewers people are done. oh the mtv yeah yeah yeah i saw that no. one cares yeah you know what's. interesting about all these people and. you know you sort it to met gala and. somebody made uh. it's weird it's like all of these people. are. some of them are really attractive and. really hot but also we have this very. interesting thing now where a fair. amount of them are sexless. it's actually impossible to have a. sexual fantasy about some of these. people because they don't look human and.

they display no human emotions they. display no. humanity where you do to fantasize about. them you have to create everything. because they themselves for whatever. reason. they look ghoulish. and you just can't think of them. sexually they look like an art piece. and this is not specific to the met gala. although it's kind of on full display. there. that was grimes yeah grimes looks fine.

but then people want to [ __ ] her because. she looks like the person in the video. game and you know right she looks like. yeah. but what i mean is like you know anna. and dasha over at red scare i. were they the ones who said this i don't. know if i should quote them if they. didn't say it. someone said the rock. [ __ ]. maybe it was a comedian. i forget who said this. but they were talking about the rock and. it was like the rock is just it's. weirdly like. he's so great looking but you don't want.

to [ __ ] the rock. there's something weird about it i don't. know who said it. but whatever it was it was a. i don't think it was i don't think it. was red scare. but my point is that. a lot of the people that you see now. for whatever reason maybe it's because. they're so you know they're they're so. enhanced. surgically. or it's that the fashion is wild or it's. that their personnel oh they're all. heavily medicated their personalities.

seem like you know like they had a. microchip surgically implanted it i'm. like like timothy chalamet is a perfect. example he should be like good look have. you ever seen anyone. that you felt. was less. biologically like he's an attractive. dude but. do you look at timothy chalamet and go. let's [ __ ]. not really. and it's not that i'm insulting his. looks. he's great looking technically right.

he's got a sharp jawline he's got the. hair but he doesn't look like a human. being. he looks like an idea. did you know what i mean can you imagine. [ __ ] or being [ __ ] by timothy. shalom like. can you imagine any human thing. happening with timothy can you imagine a. lunch. with timothy chalamet. can you imagine sitting at a table with. him. while he like he would like play with an.

endive leaf like and like you know put. his hand through his hair and just kind. of like kind of be like kind of like. brooding and like he'd like. like i feel like you just keep getting. closer to the table like. [Music]. and i feel like you just makes a sound. like you wouldn't even talk he'd just be. like. like that's a sound you would make like. you'd be sitting there and you'd be like. the the. chicken is good and he'd go. [Music].

he'd be wearing like all white and he'd. just be like. he just they'd give him a lemon he'd be. like i just want a lemon and he'd be. like. is he is he a human being. it's my question i'm not being insulting. no he's attractive and successful i. can't hurt him. i'm not trying to is that a person. is that a person. that when you're having sex with that. person or when you're speaking to that. person is that person alive.

that's my question with a lot of these. celebrities are they alive. like if i met you would you be alive. in a way that i would understand. or not. i'm not saying you it has to be. so now the activists they're retooling. it though. and now it's a documentary and when does. it premiere because i want to watch it i. bet it's just as bad as a documentary. and then we're going to talk about megan. and harry because. i am such a fan of megan and harry and i.

love. morse celebrities because everyone in. this country hates elites. but and we hate it but we like royalty. apparently look out for the activists on. october 22nd everybody goes what can i. get for someone that's unique well. bespoke post does something called box. of awesome. you can buy this for yourself or a gift. it's a box. which all kinds of cool stuff. forty dollars a box with over seventy. dollars worth of stuff in it no matter.

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stuff right now like autumn craft beers. coating threads camping the whole thing. yeah i got some cool camping gear i. imagine getting and you don't even camp. uh but i might start now. the minute you start you're off this. show. get 20 off your first monthly box just. go to box of awesome.com and enter the. code tim dillon at checkout. box of awesome.com tim dillon 20 off. your first box it's great for you but. it's also great for a friend.

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pair of 300 earbuds again i don't need. to no he's easily linked up with. bluetooth who cares. right now tim dillon show listeners can. get 15 percent off their raycon order at. buy recon dot com slash tim that's by. raycon dot com slash tim to save 15 on. raycon by raycon.com. tim. well prince harry and meghan markle. uh my favorite couple i think they're my. favorite couple. and the reason that i like.

prince harry and meghan markle so much. is that um. they prove. to me that we have a deep need and a. desire for a certain type of celebrity. i don't know where this comes from. it's certainly. uh. something. that is deeply ingrained in our psyche. we want thee we like. and love. these types of people.

we like high-profile. glossy. uh. people that. are are vapid. and don't have much. going on in their heads but think they. do. like they are under the impression. they have big thoughts. big big thoughts. like megan and harry i've listened to. both of them talk.

garden variety. retards both of them. she's hot. he's. royal. but garden variety morons either one of. them. just their level of eloquence like i'm. an eloquent person you may hate me. many do. but i'm eloquent. i have a certain amount of intelligence. that i convey. with the broadcast twice a week once. here once on patreon i watched megan and.

i watched harry. they were using their emotion. to cover up the fact that they were not. smart. they were not. too. smart. and they were obviously it was an. emotionally charged interview. because they had just left the country. uh they had found out that the royal. family is uh racist. which was shocking. um up until now they had only thought. that the the royal family uh had.

murdered harry's mother. but upon. finding out that in addition to. murdering harry's mother they were also. quite insensitive on the topic of race. no good. up until that point you said well. they're just an illuminati death cult. that drink blood and live for a thousand. years and have murdered my fiance's. mother. but. we're gonna give him a shot and let's. see how evolved they are and it turns.

out they're not too evolved and i. watched the uh oprah interview and we. talked about it on the show they're just. not bright. so like many people. uh but they believe they are bright. they say the right things they're like. there are so many people in the world. without. yes. there are so many people in the world. without which is why we have to come to. los angeles and live in a. beautiful mansion with round-the-clock. security we got to get a deal at netflix.

and make documentaries about people that. are [ __ ]. that's what it is they want to be on. netflix and make documentaries about. people with cleft palates. that's kind of the direction they're. heading in. just like the obamas who got a netflix. deal who should not have no one no. politician should get an overall with. netflix this should be a line in the. sand. nobody they have a production company. too oh well why not yeah they're.

probably doing the activists yeah do you. if you doubt for a minute that if by the. way with no backlash if there was no. backlash meghan markle is on episode. three of the activist. talking about. racial sensitivity training. and the need to do it. you know or the need to get rid of. horses in central park or whatever pet. cause that episode three happened to be. about. meghan markle would be on talking about. it um.

she's a hollywood actress means she's. ambition she has. ambition um actors are stupid people. they're not smart. very few of them are intelligent and the. ones that are intelligent are much much. older. young actors are and we know many of. them they're insanely dumb to where it's. noticeable have you ever been with. someone who's so dumb it's noticeable. where you look at someone else as if to. be in disbelief at what this person is. doing. if you had lunch with meghan markle. you'd be stunned at how dumb she was not.

cause she's black because i wouldn't. think she was black if i looked at her. because she's an actress who is on the. show suits. okay she's an actress harry is an idiot. he's an idiot for two reasons number one. he signed up to fight in afghanistan war. that was a dumb move. you're a [ __ ] prince what are you. doing that [ __ ] for. number two. i know it's heroic i guess after 9 11. but i think he signed up years after.

that that's hilarious and number two i. he's still believing this dumb story. that the paparazzi killed his mom maybe. he doesn't maybe just. so she gets them to leave his family she. goes she goes why do we want to stay. here and i get it i'm for them why do we. want to stay here they're racist the. weather sucks the food [ __ ] let's go to. la we'll eat sushi by the pool every day. and we'll make documentaries about. people with cleft palates. he goes well is it is it when their face. is all yes she goes and then every now. and then we'll fly one of them over.

we'll clean up their face and we'll take. him to disneyland but we got to get out. of the uk and we got to come to the us. and we're going to go on oprah and then. every idiot in america but he's like but. they're mad at rich people not our kind. of rich people she goes i'm kind of. black and you're an idiot so you just. and you're willing to be emasculated so. you just sit there and eat your own [ __ ]. on tv. i'll tell oprah that they were chasing. me around the royal palace with nooses. and then netflix will open up a suitcase.

full of money and we'll go do. documentaries about kids with cleft. palates is it like where their lip is in. their nose yes. yes just google it harry. so that's what went on. and i liked them i i used to not like. them i've now. i have a new thing now for the holidays. i believe everyone and i love everyone. this is positive me i've been too. cynical for too long but i survived. covet.

you know and and other than having seven. or eight skin rashes at any given time. i'm relatively healthy i'm in and norm. just died we're losing people you never. know how long you get. so i've decided to love everyone and. embrace i have embraced uh these two. clowns i like them. yes they're grifters yes they're deeply. unserious and they're not that bright. but i respect how far they've gotten. so i am saying yes to them whereas in. the past it would have said no i would. have said no they're exploiting they're.

listed oh shut up who cares they're here. and it's fun. watching people fawn over them we like. royalty we love it we like rich people. stop pretending you don't like rich. people. stop pretty the people that tweet about. marxism all day then talk about how much. they love the real housewives you just. can't quit it and nobody is a realer. housewife than meghan markle who married. this ginger [ __ ] and took him out of.

his racist family so that they could. live in beverly hills or wherever the. [ __ ] they live and make documentaries. about people without hands. on netflix. netflix by the way who's committed to. just giving these people anything they. want whenever they want they're making a. cartoon what is the cartoon about. it's called pearl yes it's about a young. girl who is inspired by influential. women in history and counts david. furnish and liz garbus among executive.

producers. uh yeah i guess that's it the. 12 year old girl who's inspired by. influential women in history the series. currently in development it's all the. information we have that's it. uh she's on a journey of self-discovery. as she tries to overcome life's daily. challenges says well that sounds great. good for her man do you know how many. actresses. that do a show like suits just get. thrown off out in the street. afterwards megan markle parlayed that.

into a [ __ ] royal wedding and then a. year in or a couple years in said [ __ ]. that [ __ ] and left and i'm not saying. the royal family was not racist to her. i'm sure they were but that also didn't. start when she got there. they didn't like become racist. she knew like it started probably early. on when they confused her for the help. nine times.

they're probably ordering tea from her. an exciting tale that weaves together. fantasy in history pearl focuses on a. young girl who learns to step into her. own power when she embarks on a heroic. adventure and meets important women from. history along the way. we're excited to develop this adam and. shares with our partners at archer well. productions and story syndicates there. are 12 productions that's that's good. yeah archwell production so you know. what this is going to be like pearl's. going to go back you know there's gonna. be a scene. where pearl's like.

who are you. my name is harriet. harriet who. harriet tubman. we got a railroad and you go oh my god. this is the underground railroad. yes it is. this is so amazing i can't believe it. you're so brave and strong yes i am. child but i'm not nearly as brave and. strong as meghan markle. who's that she was an actress on suits. it's a tv show.

yeah. she married prince harry. you know the son of that woman they. killed. in a in the thing in the tunnel and they. said the press did it but you know it. was good cause she was gonna marry dodie. alphayet he was muslim it's a whole. thing it's oil. saudi arabia whatever you gotta follow. cynthia mckinney on twitter. what. anyway. i'm just saying. yes um where's cynthia mckinney at the. met gala by the way that all she did was. talk about 9 11 all day where's she.

where is she where is she. well here's what i'm saying child. i'm saying it i may be brave but the. bravest person ever is meghan markle. thank you. i'm excited for that show. i'll never get another special on. anything ever again like. i will i will my special will be on like. pepboys.com. i mean. it will be like it will be so far.

every day i hear about like another. executive who genuinely hates me who. like brings me up by name. in meetings that they do not like me. i'm we're selling so many tickets with. this the show's gotten so massive. and uh the offers have been slim. slim to none. but that's okay and then people ask you. to go do you think. that's special i go i don't know maybe. i'll do reach out let's reach out to. harry and harry and megan.

let's call my agent right now. on the air. and ask him if he can reach out. let's see if. hey quick question i know it's late. you're probably.

i figured you're up with a kid is there. any do we think that there's any way. that archer well productions might like. produce my special that's the production. company founded by meghan markle and. prince. tweet about that harry amazing no but i. mean can we give me a meeting like i. think i should get a meeting with them. i love it why not we should you know. what we should do is we should try over. email and then i'll forward you the. emails and you can post it or whatever. yeah do that do that.

you know if vote please pursue this. please all right thank you brother get. some sleep. that's what i like him because he he. he'll get fired too. he doesn't care. you know what i mean. i mean with his clients i mean he could. do his job you know out of a rehab. you could just sit in a. archwell productions i want the duke and. duchess of sussex.

do you does anyone. not like this idea though seriously the. duke and duchess of cambridge present. tim dillon. i love it. it's great. we we could do it over there we go. overseas and do it no they're here oh. right right we do it here but they can't. we can't go there anymore because. they're racist right because they're. racist there they came to a country with. no racism america. because the royal family was so racist. they came to a place where the you know.

we have the least racist organization in. america right here in the city the lapd. no no none of this was a plot this was. all well thought out. made sense. is it lo with the clever palette is it. when is it locked a bit in apple but it. got stuck. please google it for him someone. alright. are we going to see oprah.

can i meet lizzo. stop asking me questions you're really. [ __ ] annoying me today. okay we're doing it we're doing we're. skyping right now. with uh. the leader of [ __ ]. some country we're about to demolish. for a tv show. archer well productions. these people have me whacked. they'll have me done diana style.

they will do me in diana style yeah. they'll whack you. we should have spent more time on uh 9. 11 this year but we just kind of let it. go by yeah. what are you gonna do yeah you can't. here's the thing how long can you. discuss something it's a good question. doesn't mean it's not important you. don't care anymore or that i'm a. hollywood elite you're a hollywood elite. how many what are you gonna do. how many times are you gonna ring the. bell. you know i don't you know.

yeah man. i just think there's a very slim chance. we're getting to the bottom of it. i don't think. i don't think we're getting to the. bottom of it. you'll straight up go i don't know your. kids will ask you what happened on 9 11. you will straight up at the kitchen. table go i don't know go to school. ask them i pay taxes let them ask you. what you're doing. people said i was gonna have a non-line. did you ever listed up a podcast episode.

that last podcast on the left did about. 911 that was like a three-parter it's. like a nine-hour epic never ever listen. i've never listened to that show but i. mean i have friends that love my friend. ryan from long island loves less. podcasts on the left and i know ben and. i know henry. and i've known marcus. but i've. never really listened but i heard that. it was like the best thing ever it was. insanely well researched. the documentary is 9 11 the new pearl. harbor if you want to watch your. documents a fun four or five hour thing. yeah it's amazing show the kids.

it's fun. archerwell productions presents the. activist. on this episode of the activists we have. a special guest please welcome meghan. markle that's like project one runway. like all the activists are standing on. the stage and like oh my god. they're like it is a dream to meet you. and meghan markle's like today's. challenge is this a school boy with a. water gun was shot in the face.

and everyone's like this everyone's like. oh no. they're like by three racist detectives. we've got 48 hours to come up with a. strategy including a slogan. merch a big social media push. live direct action sit-ins parades and. music i need you guys to be utilizing. everything all of your celebrity. contacts all of your big social media. names the name of the game here is cross. marketing we need to have a [ __ ] we.

need a fund setup asap we need to start. [ __ ] filling that with money so that. we can get these events off the ground. okay now remember i don't really know. the kid's name but it's about him and. they're like yeah. yes it is. yes. so there was like. he was shot in the face yes so in the. slogan i think we should use the. visceral nature of the horror of what.

happened. so then it'll cut to them they'll be in. like confessionals and be like as soon. as i heard. shot in the face i knew i had the. perfect slogan. if it's in the face it's about race. it was brilliant i knew you won right. there. when you came out and then at the end. when they're doing the judging they're. like. when you came out with if it's in the. face. it's about race. we knew immediately that we had a winner. and they're crying thank you so much. megan i love you.

they're like listen. it was brilliant the chanting was. brilliant your direct action was great. when you screamed in the face of that. crossing guard and put it up on. instagram. you know. the the merch wasn't exactly what we. wanted we didn't love all of the designs. and we thought they were a little too. visceral. you know and they were like yeah i. shouldn't have went with the with the. gun and with the face and the gun. something more like and they're like we. find it's like nina garcia's a different.

project runway. we find when the event is incredibly. heinous we do more symbolism everyone's. like yes. they all nodded each other like they're. getting the wisdom they're like yes more. symbolism that makes a lot of sense. thank you so much. megan's like thank you so much you're. all so brave to be here on the cbs lot. filming this show. but that's what it is and god i mean god. can you believe the finale.

like what they would have done for the. finish oh man like the levels of. depravity that they would have sunk to. for the finale. the levels. of depravity. that they would have sunk for the finale. like the things. they would have pitched maybe not done. or got the green light to do but the. ideas. that they would have thrown out there. would have been so horrible. and and so grotesque.

because you're like we got to pull out. all the stops. we got to pull out all the stops. you know. they're like we want everything. you know. there are only two activists left. today. is the final decision to see. who'll be. the best activists in america. take your blindfolds off.

look around. you're standing in minneapolis minnesota. not a few blocks away. from the birthplace of this movement. where george floyd was killed. there's a chest in front of you. in that chest. there are two boxes. pick one. the box will open. and you will have. different things you can use for your.

final project. some will be phone numbers. of george floyd's family. some will be addresses some will be. pictures. some will be pictures of racist gangs. that have infiltrated the minneapolis. police. please join me. right now. and they would bring out they'd bring. out like. a ton of people they'd be like please. welcome.

our celebrity. judges. michelle obama. greta thundberg. and michael brown's mother. you have three hours. to complete your challenge. which is making a collage. to show. how far.

we still need to go with race relations. your time starts. now. man. and they would have done it they would. have done it all they would have done it. all but the people unfortunately got in. the way of that because let me tell you. right now there's nobody who understands. um humanity less than the people whose. job it is to showcase it for you on. television every night. nobody understands the human condition. less than the people whose job it is to.

bring it to you um we're on tour. timdylandcomedy.com. uh we're adding second shows in atlanta. we're adding a second show in san. francis sacramento we're adding a second. show in atlantic city uh we're adding. second shows all over the place things. are selling out thank you guys we. appreciate it. the vax mandate [ __ ] is wild uh some. some of them you could bring hopefully. you could just bring a negative test if. you don't want to be vaccinated every. comic in the world is having to deal.

with this right now. it's [ __ ] annoying hopefully this is. over sooner rather than later. um and this insanity. does not persist you know i've always. said it doesn't make a ton of sense to. me that if you can get and spread coven. why you need. uh. to show that you have the vaccine it's a. weird. it's strange i think it's a freak out. that people are having i think that ends. in a few months and i think people. hopefully forget about this and abandon. this um i could be wrong about that.

after 9 11 no one abandoned anything. um. but. i just think three years from now and no. one who's still gonna do this no when. there's no you know when nobody's had. cover you know who's still going to be. like show me your back yeah like i think. it's just ivormectin well no one's going. to care yeah it's. we're going to move on i believe. there'll be another thing then. that they'll we'll be getting [ __ ]. with. uh but the shows are selling really well. we're very excited to be out there.

performing sam talent's going to be on. the road with us a [ __ ] amazing. comedian. timdylandcomedy.com for tickets tim j. dillon d-i-l-o-n on instagram and. twitter. um. if you want to follow me. and um. go grab tickets la. night after thanksgiving at the region. or where no at the. wilton. in l.a november 26th friday november. 26th night after.

thanksgiving at the will turn. gonna have a lot of fun there i'm. excited about that show excited about. the beacon theater a few tickets left. it's almost sold out. um patreon episodes out every tuesday. uh subscribe to the youtube channel if. you have not. tim dillon's show. we do appreciate that people talk about. merch we don't have any right now. i mean. we'll get some maybe by the holidays but. i don't know. we might do one thing for the holidays. in the winter we might just do one.

hoodie something super simple. we don't know what it'll be yet but. uh thank you everybody for buying. tickets we're gonna have. uh. a ton of fun out there. and we're gonna bring. there's gonna be some fun surprises. on some of the shows. and i'm i'm hoping that this ends in a. special. produced by the duke and duchess of. sussex. that's the hope.

the duke and the duchess. of sussex. oh let's play this before we go. oh yeah so this is everybody was up in. arms about kensington avenue and philly. yeah we were talking to gillis about. this he says it's rough shane says it's. rough it looks fine to me play it okay. 10 million views on this dude i've been. all over this country that's not even. that bad. that's not even that bad. she's got something in the rear. this is fine.

alexis everyone's response to this was i. can't believe this is america i can't. believe this is i guess if you haven't. traveled yeah if you haven't gone. anywhere this to me doesn't even look. that bad. it looks like a play where they're all. gonna get up you know like les. miserables. at the end of the day or another day. colder that's all they can save for the. life of the ball. it's a struggle it's a war and we're. hoping that meg and markle and pretary. make a documentary about our lives. because then they'll be better good.

night.