#263 - Family Business | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim. dillon show big announcement. uh is part of why we are a little late. with the show the show is moving to. spotify exclusively. nothing will change about the show uh. we're going to be exclusive to spotify. for audio and video. they've negotiated a deal with us that. will be coming out in the news. very soon which is really cool we're. negotiating right now with the. ceo spotify uh bring him up. this guy and the negotiations have been. uh his name's daniel elk he's the guy.

here and he's like a bald. uh norwegian pedophile and he's we're. negotiating with him. and what's hard about doing that is. every time we try to do that he's. [ __ ] children and blowing their. brains out uh. in sweden or wherever the hell he lives. and then throwing their lifeless corpses. over his viking ship into the ocean that. being said. this bald person has given us. a really good indication that we're. going to be. on spotify of course you know the uh.

platform where they rob. uh musicians who are mostly brain dead. drug addicts so. we've uh uh we said we don't have a. problem with that we especially like. that they're to keep robbing musicians. and taking the little drug money. uh that these people have left but. daniel eck is it acker elk. it's eck that's part of the negotiation. is we pretend not to know his name. uh but daniel ack who is a uh a nazi. viking pedophile uh. the ceo of spotify uh we try to.

negotiate with him and we get on all. these zoom meetings. and on every zoom meeting and this is. true he's got behind him he has the nazi. flag and he has so much cool nazi. memorabilia. that's so hard to get it's so hard to. get. the things he has and they're always. displayed. behind him spotify um but we were. surprised at the offer. which is right now the. offer is 18.

billion dollars and we're. shocked at um he says he wants to build. a new. epstein island to train nazi youth with. us and i'm excited about that. unvaccinated nazi youth. on a new island daniel eck is it ecker. elk. ex ceo of spotify. we have a new deal with spotify for a.

trillion dollars to launder. human trafficking and drug money through. our podcast. uh at spotify and that's why we were. late we were late because. daniel ack the ceo of spotify. has offered us uh a deal. so if we can if we can. use it uh in his words. to awaken people about the problems that.

the white race. are facing his words not mine. i said we could try it's not usually. what we do. spotify ceo daniel. eck asked us um. to uh be on exclusively his platform. does that excite you at all. i'm stoked i'm very happy to be honest. did you ever think this day would happen. never. i never thought it would but i'm kind of. happy it did me too. at spotify i like spotify.

i like it i like that you can't use the. app. and i like that the um. the ceo is clearly in some. nazi viking uh cult. i mean can you not see him on a viking. ship i could see that yeah. just whipping people. i like him he's a good guy. yeah well.

can i be the first to say thank you to. spotify. for all of that money. i hope nothing we've said today will. hurt because we're in. open negotiations with him. and he like told us he's like don't. mention like the pedophile nazi stuff. on air but it's not i don't think it's a. big deal. but that's why we're late so i want to. spotify. uh ceo doing big uh.

business with us not fake business real. business uh i'm also in the middle of a. home renovation in austin texas. i'm not going to give that woman the. business today i've decided oh really. yeah i didn't like the face the comment. at the end. the comment at the end ruined it we went. into a father. a family a family uh tile place. father and daughter right i thought it. might have been husband and wife. but it was father daughter and we.

proceeded to look at all the different. tiles and the things. because i have to i have to get new tile. for my kitchen floor. whether i keep it or rent it or sell it. the tile is bad. we have to get new tile and i went in. and um. i asked for marble immediately why. because it lets them know. that i don't care about them and they. don't matter. to me and if they die or people like. them die. people like me don't get upset do you.

see what i mean. when natural disasters affect those. people. i don't care that's why i ask for marble. up front like when i walk in i go hey do. you guys have. marble here and she's like real marble. and i'm like. yeah real marble when a tornado blows. through your mama house. i don't care about that. diabetes-infested [ __ ] i don't give a. [ __ ]. okay so i said this so she and i thought. i. thought it was a uh a husband and wife. but it was a father daughter.

i think so yeah tile business and we we. were very not and they dissuaded me they. said marble's too expensive and they're. probably right probably right they're. probably right it's too much. it's too much and marble tiles for. [ __ ] froot loops anyway you want. chunk marble chunks of it. flown in from italy but we can't do that. so. they said porcelain right and that's. good good it's durable. i don't want to put linoleum up well. that's probably how they grew up and. there's nothing wrong with that right. because. linoleum you can piss and [ __ ] on and. just throw orange juice on and.

it doesn't bother anyone you can just. get on your knees and wipe it up with a. rag. but anyway so i walk in i got out of uh. the car with you and we were just. trying to you know and so and then i was. really hyped about doing business with. these people. truly but then we gave our phone numbers. at the end and. why don't you tell them what happened so. she asked for both of our phone numbers. that's correct can i give away your area. code for the story i guess i have to. right. you yes the area code was in l.a right. she she said they said to ben what's the.

area code i said three. i said three two five blank blank blank. blank blank right and they go oh three. two five i go abilene texas they go. nice right and then they go well they're. like that. they like the area could have abilene. texas by the way the people who cannot. afford to buy the tile. and they go to about you and you you. give your number and they said what's. that. and i went beverly hills and they went. she went. uh she made a face and i joked around i. said don't worry we're voting republican.

but we're throwing away this we're. throwing around disgusting amounts of. money. i said we're going to throw away this. around this and she kind of made a face. but here's the that's why i have to deny. the business because of that. i really have to deny the business. here's the other thing if you work at a. family business. in the tile thing for your father the. reality is. you you like sucking his [ __ ]. there's no other way to really. if you work in a family business with. your dad. you like to suck his [ __ ] or you want to.

suck his [ __ ]. you want to [ __ ] him you are unable to. find a man. to then go and build a life with you. want to be near your father. and there's a moment out of every single. day. when you want to get on your knees and. suck the old man off. and just say [ __ ] you god and. jerk his old sweaty dick into your mouth. and. swallow his semen and i find that. unnatural it's not with the laws.

of nature so i have to take the business. away from these people. unfortunately i have to call them early. in the morning tell them that we have. some uh there's some family emergency. i didn't like her face though very over. the top it was. over the top and you know what here's. what you're gonna have to understand. okay you dumb hick. people like me and other people from. california are gonna move in here are. they gonna make your children trans. of course they are dummy but if you had. enough money none of this would happen. you know that capitalism that you people.

just jerk off all day. and you take its [ __ ] and you jam it. down your throat here's what capitalism. means. dummy it means that rich people from. california can move into your turd state. and do whatever they want turn your kids. trans. buy your kitchen tile vote for higher. taxes. fund antifa they can do anything and you. can't stop them you know why. because they got the [ __ ] money and. all you [ __ ] give a [ __ ] about. is money right. so shut the [ __ ] up okay.

you live in a suburb of austin texas the. worst city in america there's three icu. beds here okay. how i mean literally there's like no icu. beds and stars are bad. it's so embarrassing it's it's i i've. been very clear about my feelings for. austin texas. but again you're rah-rah americanism and. obsession with like. capital i do mother well guess what. capitalism means. [ __ ] it means that i can go. anywhere i want if i have the money and.

ruin your life. if i want to ruin your life i can now i. have no interest in ruining your life. i don't vote i really have never voted i. don't like lines. but the point is that the people coming. here are going to ruin your life the. tech people are going to come here. and they're going gonna do everything. you think they're gonna [ __ ] do. i'm telling you do you think this. vaccine is bet they're gonna have more. vaccines and i'm. vaccinated i don't even think this one's. there's gonna be new ones that are. coming they'll be. vaccines every three months and they'll.

just give them to you when you're. sleeping you're not going to be able to. do anything about it because you don't. have any money. you see the problem you people are all. obsessed with guns and guns are great. and i understand god but you don't. really do anything with the guns we have. a massacre every year no one's impressed. right. see the thing is it's not like you're. organizing assaults on. centers of power you're shooting trees. in your backyard. and the tech people are slowly choking. you. they're slowly taking all the oxygen out. of you and all you're doing is countless.

my money. i like my money so if you like capital. it's capital baby that's. it people can come here and do whatever. the [ __ ] they want. and you're gonna have to deal with it. and if you don't [ __ ] like it well. too [ __ ] bad you have to make enough. money to. stop them how about that you've got to. make more money than the tech people and. good luck. good luck slinging linoleum tile if. you're going to have more money than. them. so i don't think i can give her the. business it saddens me because i.

actually think they do. a good job they did yeah they were good. but i just i don't i just you know what. it is. it's that over-the-top cuntiness that to. me i. feel like you know what. when i saw her do that i i had a feeling. you were going to back out of the whole. thing. it was a reality it was over the top. well you know what it is. she doesn't understand that she doesn't. have any power we didn't fight through. lines of people to get in there. okay we were the only people in there.

but she doesn't and the father. the father even looked you're like kind. of like why are you doing that why don't. you just come suck my [ __ ]. because they want to [ __ ] each other. it's incest it's truly incest. and and that's okay because they have. all these weird codes you're like i. don't like democrats but. i like sucking my daddy off. like even when she was like playful like. he came over she's like daddy don't step. on my clothes because he stepped on her. you know people in austin like women in. austin are um uh disgusting. and they were like she was wearing like. balloon green balloon pants and.

everything. because they don't know how to dress. here the women the women here are like. uh. you know they're cows you know they're. like disgusting drug addicts. so uh she's wearing like a green balloon. pants and he stepped on and she's like. daddy don't step on my pants. but i thought she want at that point i. think like he wanted to just kind of. just hit her in the ass like if we. weren't there i think he would have just. taken his big hand. and just hit her in the ass and then. snuck a finger up. snuck a finger up the back and then they. would have went back and like.

[ __ ] on like tile like you know like i. like to [ __ ] my daughter on cold tile. i like to [ __ ] i like to feel it on cold. [ __ ] tile. because they're doing incest is my why. my why i say that. um it's summer camping season let's talk. about pitching tents that's right the. episode is sponsored by blue chew. guys confidence can take you far in life. it can also help you in the bedroom. especially when it comes to step up the. plate step up to the plate. step up to the plate the plate the plate. that's where blue chew comes. in pluto makes your dick hard men.

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pay five dollars shipping bluetooth.com. promoted. the companies that advertise on this. show are great products sheath underwear. is my favorite. put it on sheath underwear s. h s-h-e-a-t-h underwear it's great it's. underwear it's great it's a. bathing suit um robert pat. pat patron patron patron patron. who's the owner of sheath underwear um. uh is great he served in the united. states.

military honorably. and continues to be a leader. for people now. do you know his story because he's. they're saying people like this don't. exist i met him he seemed like a great. dad and. great family well and you know what's. crazy about that what. robert patron is a virtuous pedophile. meaning he's attracted to children. infants. but doesn't do anything about it amazing.

sheath underwear.com use the promo code. tim to save 20. do it and it supports our show and it. supports him not. [ __ ] kids austin warns of catastrophe. as texas again becomes center of. pandemic. austin should be warning of catastrophe. regardless of the pandemic. by the way the situation is critical. desmar walks austin travis county's. health authority said in a statement our. hospitals are severely stressed and. there's little we can do to alleviate.

their burden with surging. cases. austin only has six available icu beds. um and they've only got 313. available ventilators and most of those. ventilators. being used to smoke brisket. as you can tell major issues here but. here's the thing i will say about austin. did you read this because i was. there is a massive influx of.

um the hollywood people coming here. and read the hollywood reporter because. i was quoted in this article. yeah i was quoted in this there's a. massive influx. of people here i was shocked i almost. had to eat my words. because you know me i tend to believe. that if they're gonna write an article. like this it's going to be. has-beens or people who aren't relevant. or people that nobody cares about okay. no no go back to the top but in in.

in all fairness to the hollywood. reporter. they have lo this is true they have. located. some a list. stars the types of people where if you. bumped into them. have you ever felt stunned in the. presence of another human being. because these people that have decided. to leave. los angeles for austin are top.

level talent top tier. celebrities these are not people where. you do like a double take. this is like they need security. famous worldwide michael jackson types. princess diana. ready let's do it as stars. like stephen amell and zachary. levi flock to the texas capitol.

dude i mean. this is did you even know they were here. i didn't know. get get them up please because i they. i'm not trying to make a joke. i'm not kidding about this they're here. in austin. hold on stephen bell. is a canadian actor producer an.

occasional professional. professional wrestler known for playing. oliver queen green arrow on the cw. series arrow the show that started the. arrowverse i had thought that the. hollywood reporter. would write an article about like c-list. people. but i was wrong so we have the uh this. guy. he's an actor and a part-time. professional. wrestler zachary levy pew is an american.

actor comedian and singer. he received critical acclaim for. starring as chuck bartowski. in the series chuck and as the title. character in. shazam. this is here's the question yeah will. hollywood survive it's not. funny because there's a lot of good. people. in california we all hate the business. but there's a lot of people in there. that have families and with this type of.

exodus. with the power players in hollywood. deciding to leave. to come to austin texas keep going down. because it doesn't end. there ben it doesn't stop. there okay now this guy jason uh. padalecki oh jared padilla jared. padalecki is like the big austin. advocate he's uh. padalecki he's been here since 2010. and. uh he's done some stuff go down because.

he. he is on some big shows uh i don't know. they don't. he is on stuff but. james james van der beek is here. from dawson's creek james van der beek. has said hey [ __ ] you hollywood hey [ __ ]. you. do you know what he you know how he do. you know james van der beek left.

hollywood how. he walked into paramount studios in. hollywood because they offered him a. seven picture deal. because someone there just saw dawson's. creek mind-blowing. someone just saw it and said where's. that guy. now they bring him into paramount they. said. seven picture deal but you have to live. in california. he said hey [ __ ] you he goes have you. ever heard of the texas hill country. and he just walked out dude.

20 million dollar upfront guarantee. seven picture deal. he said no james vander pick listen to. scott eastwood adrian pilicki adrian. grenier from entourage the hit new show. and james van der beek from dawson's. creek the hit new show. listen to this at the park in beverly. hills near the house we just moved away. from. you're not allowed to fly a kite. then the beak growls on instagram as he.

moved. the beak that's what they call james van. der beek. the beak the beak growls. on instagram as he moves his family to. texas this november quote. also not allowed at any park in beverly. hills riding a bicycle. climbing a tree learning anything from. an instructor. using weights when people at now by the. way. what i don't think this is true.

this isn't a lot of it's not true but. i love that he's like climbing a tree. you. hey get off the tree scumbag. hey scumbag i hope james van der beek's. children. get paralyzed from falling out of a tree. where they are literally like literally. i hope. he has to like wheel his son in a. wheelchair.

like into austin and his sons like this. hey and james van der beek. and they they go up to him they go dude. i read that i hope it happens soon. dude i read that [ __ ] article. about why you moved to austin it's so. true it's so true dude like you can't. climb a tree and the kid just like. and they go what happened to him and i. hope james van der beek has to go.

well i was encouraging him to climb a. tree to be a real man. and he fell and i i didn't catch him. because i was. googling myself and then he broke his. neck and now he can't walk. um but the good news is here's the good. news. the good news is that he can fly a kite. now in the park now not him but we tie. it to his wheelchair. and then push him around.

james van der beek you can't learn. anything from an instructor using. weights. these are just some of the reasons more. freedom. was also a motive often expressed by. arguably the most influential. newcomer. [Music]. regime who is this. who is this guy joe regan. joe regan american comedian. podcaster and ufc color commentator he's.

a former actor a television presenter. rogan began his career in comedy regan. joe regan interesting he lives here now. we're kidding of course joe moved here. to open up a comedy club. it is open the let me tell you right now. how much fun did we have the other night. at joe rogan's new comedy club. here it is joe rogan's new comedy club. september 1st. opening night here is the lineup. everybody patrice o'neill. gary shandling craig geraldo robert.

schimmel. joan rivers robin williams and me and. tony hinchcliffe september 1st. opening night joe rogan and friends big. show on september 1st very very excited. about this are you excited about this. are you bringing your wife yeah she. wants to do you think james van der beek. will be there. boy i hope so do you think actor and. part-time professional wrestler whatever. that other scumbag's name was. will be there oh zach levi yeah zach. levi by the way uh.

can we play padlek padlecky uh tor. showed us his house uh that um ida our. friend. ida al and peg peg. uh showed me this guy's house it's. grotesque it's on. youtube uh the way it's designed can we. look at it because it's the perfect like. austin uh aesthetic which is just it's. like. an old couch where they just throw. blankets on it. and i guess people use those blankets to. cry about that they can't live anywhere. else oh is this it men's health this one. right here or you talking about the.

farmhouse. the farmhouse okay yeah i mean this is a. dump. can we play this absolutely. hey d i'm genevieve padalecki hi we're. really really. famous now i know you're shocked to see. us. we're incredibly no he's done stuff. bring up what he's done okay i don't. want people attacking me. i got to live here with these people for. a few months i'm not [ __ ] on these. people. all i'm saying is we have to deal in the. world as it is right. so he is legit oh supernatural he was on.

in the show. supernatural and gilmore girls he's one. of the greatest actors that's ever lived. he was in the film house of wax have you. seen house of wax. you're a [ __ ] idiot okay. house of wax is a great daniel day-lewis. jack nicholson him let's go to the house. by the way what if you're noticing. we're burning it here in a way that like. pretty soon our physical safety will be.

that we have to leave. do you understand like i actually i woke. up in the middle of the night last night. and i was wondering if it's safe to be. here anymore. you know no truly like i walked outside. and i went is it safe to be here anymore. but that is the future of the show i. believe we'll. we'll have to just get deeper and deeper. and deeper into a. sort of canyon a bunker of some kind.

some type of bunker. we gotta talk to dick cheney about how. he did it. but i look it look at this woman with a. hat you know i love these. i'm kidding i love you guys let's see. more of their farmhouse. i hope it's modern chic welcome to our. humble abode here is it humble i bet. it's not humble. that's the joke see it's not humble. it's actually very nice. that's right lots of trees for climbing.

this is the main room of our house this. is. was that where the slaves got whipped. watch movies. and eat sometimes and it's too late can. you smell the stench of. slaves as their skin. come flying off their backs we like to. bring in the vegetables. is that where you put the vegetables. where the slave got went. in this area take that hat off crocodile. dundee. take the hat off what is with women in. austin and these [ __ ] hats i don't.

know. what the [ __ ] is going on here they all. act like they're on safari and they want. to be because they want to go to africa. and buy. slaves to bring them back to their. modern chic farmhouse. neo farmhouse modern chic it's modern. chic. by the way listen to what this dum-dum. says she i gotta get all plain out of. here soon because i mean. they're gonna come for me we're gonna. see them somewhere for sure i don't. think. i don't know if we'll see we don't go. anywhere like dave they invited us to. join the soho house in austin i'm like.

this is a trap i mean it's a literal. trap. i you know what i mean we know one guy. here from clubhouse he's. you know i mean he's a sweet man but i. mean he's brain dead right he's. he doesn't he doesn't have enough oxygen. to his brain which is okay i don't know. it's long covered or. short covered i don't know what it is. and he's a sweet man and i like him but. there's something. in his brain that doesn't function right. i mean that's my take. so we have crocodile dundee here with.

the hat and she's talking to her husband. about why the uh. the kitchen because the kitchen is the. soul eats the soul. and by the way now that i have to fix up. this dumb [ __ ] house this is all i do. like all i spend my time doing is have. these like. horrible conversations with like. horrible people because all the people. that work all the people. first of all that work in like the. business of like design for the. the most part like the vast majority of. them they're just. it's not they're not like passionate.

about it right so they're just kind of. like. kind of like gla like the best cases. they're glazed over and they're like hey. you know it's nice when the tiles are. cold on your feet. they're cold on your face but you know. that's best case. worst cases they're kind of they're kind. of just like looking off and you have to. go. hello and they're like what and you go i. want a refrigerator. you know and they're like 16 years ago. i killed my son by accident i backed out.

of my driveway. and he was on his bicycle i killed him. the marriage didn't survive too long. after that after that i ended up getting. into some gambling debts and moving down. south i'm like. wolf appliances are good no wolf. wolf we want gas. let's play the rest of these uh looney. tunes. grab your food go sit at the table. nothing is. precious by the way and nothing is.

precious in this house. let's get me and ray kump in there i. want to bring ray kump through that. house with a with a big. with a big [ __ ] like what are the. biggest things that 711 they have. oh big gulps i want to bring red company. with a big gulp and just ashing. everywhere. and then when she gets angry i go wait a. minute you said nothing now by the way. look at this dump. by the way look at this dump they got a. cowhide rug i mean like. could there be any place that attracts. less of a caliber of people than these.

people it's like. sitcom stars who who were. on superhero shows in like 2006. that's what they mean by hollywood they. mean people who were on television. 18 years ago in a in a screen suit. running around pretending to save people. continue. i just casual is the biggest thing and. we really want everyone. who steps into this house to feel like. it's their home and they're welcome. so we kind of laugh when people say like.

hey shouldn't take my shoes off. like no well there are three dogs inside. and three one. kids yeah chickens and whatever so you. make yourselves at home. yeah exactly we're not precious about. this we love it it's our home but our. home. is your home i also really love it. because not only is it pretty. take the hat off we use everything so. our kids do like to come up here they. grab their pots and pans how do they. grab the pots and pans. and then we come over how do they grab. the pots and pans that's not true. together and how do they grab the pots.

and pans. it's [ __ ] impossible they're children. and i'm just gonna get get this going. i think the elf of the shelf likes our. uh. likes our bowl he needs a name harold. harold harold is his name. [Music]. with incoming sex machines what happens. is what happened in san diego big. remodel should i just should i respond. you overdosed.

i'm just going to say i have to prepare. the eulogy for your funeral. i have to prepare your eulogy. that's funny that's funny yeah isn't it. funny very funny. continue with this i'm look at look at. these two come on. if you want to test your marriage do a. remodel right. that was a tough one oh my god but we. that's what i've always heard if you. want to test your marriage to a remodel. or. have a kid with brain cancer those are.

the two. remodeling your home or having a kid. with brain cancer. and you can't afford to pay the bills. those are actually the real tests of. your marriage. um choosing a cabinet and also a child. with a brain tumor. where the bills are stacking up and you. can't pay them. and um that's a huge test of your. marriage. but it may not be as big of a test of. your marriage. as walking around furniture stores in. that hat. but don't you see what i mean folks.

about why it's bad here. yeah skip down the line and then we'll. get out of it i kind of want to see. their backyard. let's see their backyard their. backyard's kind of nice huh what is it. it's pretty they start here it's pretty. and green. everyone's obsessed with green here it's. green. isn't it green we really wanted to. create a an area in an outdoor area. where we could eat some of the plants. and also. play some sports and everything was like. really usable so not only are most of.

the plants usable. and edible but our yard everything is. for jumping and. soccer and football and general outdoor. seating. again our yard has a few levels and so. it's nice because you get like this view. of where the kids would go but we'll sit. here we'll cook we'll grill. and then you'll see these are our. kitchen wings that's a beautiful yellow. one. it's a beautiful yard but let me tell. you something you're not famous. right i got and that's okay by the way. it's nicer to have a family than to be. famous.

but can we can the hollywood reporters. stop writing. articles that like a rash of famous. people who've decided to live here. no one would know who the [ __ ] these. people are if they walked into [ __ ]. ihop. cut it out truly truly cut it the [ __ ]. out. they're not famous they did the better. thing which is raising a family in the. greenery i'm for that i'm pro family. but let's not pretend that they're like. [ __ ] famous like paparazzi are. [ __ ]. diving over the gate in [ __ ] the hill. country. to get a glimpse of these retards eating.

chick-fil-a it's not. true they're not famous there's nothing. wrong with not being famous. but let's be damn [ __ ] sure about it. they're not [ __ ] famous. okay how many [ __ ] views does this. thing even have it's probably more than. my [ __ ] [ __ ] show. 850 000. yeah but you know architectural. digest has 5 million. subs so here's the deal it's not a ton. of views. a relative to a house tour of somebody. who is really really famous. okay robert downey jr's home has 25.

million views. yeah do you see that you know the. difference he's famous. and they're not hillary duff 7.6 million. hillary duff is. uh famous and she's in pizzagate. people wanted that tour you know that. tour me they wanted to see where the. chamber was. remember when they tried to rope hillary. duff and the pizzagate. because she did she did something stupid. like she uploaded like a photo of a. child. and it was like i don't know what [ __ ]. maybe she does kill a kid i don't know. but she did something stupid and.

everybody got into it. i never read this hillary duff shuts. down quote disgusting child trafficking. twitter conspiracy. by the way i'm sorry if you didn't laugh. all the way through 2020 something is. wrong with you. on saturday morning the singer and. actress became a trending topic on the. site when a number of users. made unfounded accusations of child. trafficking against her. based on an instagram story she posted. containing photos of her son. in once of the since deleted pictures. her son could be seen lying down nude. with lotion on his body duff decided to.

respond via tweet stating that the. accusations were not only untrue. but they were invasive and offensive as. well everyone bored as [ __ ] right now. i know but this is actually disgusting. quote whoever dreamed this one up and. put this garbage into the universe. should take a break from their damn. phone maybe get a hobby. hillary dizzle. i don't know what she did i'm sure she's. not trafficking children but. you know she'll be in austin too in a. few years. but this is what i mean 850 000 views.

is not a lot of views no comparative. compared. to the people that are famous. okay and by the way i'm not telling them. to be. they have a much better life being who. they are. but let's stop this jessica alba. is showing us a home in los angeles. she's got 31 million. views here and these people have less. because they are less uh.

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maybe this is in the u.s california is. leading but california's leading right. now. with a total caseload of 4 million sixty. two thousand. three hundred and sixty nine second is. florida three million two hundred and. forty nine thousand i'm sorry texas a. second. second is texas third is florida two. million eight hundred twenty new york. new york's up there illinois. pennsylvania georgia ohio north carolina. and. jersey round out the top ten. hopefully it's the last splash.

of the coronavirus this is my hope and. we can move on from this. it's hot it's boring. it's not exciting i don't want to hear. fauci's name. anymore i don't want to hear about the. cdc. i mean we've gotten to a point where a. worldwide pandemic is boring. you know what i mean were you like oh. it's just the apocalypse again. off it's really become like. troubling where you go i don't even care.

anymore i don't even know whether or not. i care. i'm trying to care about another. lockdown because i. i don't think it's good and i think. it'll destroy the country but it's hard. for me to even. care about that i'm trying to care. about being locked inside my house. forever but i've been so. you get so beaten down by the news you. just start accepting things you just. start going well all right. i guess so i mean i can so i i can be in.

the yard though right. can we be in the can we be in the yard. or is that not a lad australia has like. 12 cases. and they are literally like chaining. people. but australians like that they don't. mind they trust the government they like. the government the government's been. good to australians. australians are simple people all they. really want to do is get drunk and grill. that's really it australians all they. want to do. is get hammered in their backyards and. put meat on a grill.

there's nothing wrong with that people. are asking why aren't australians angry. about this. they're perpetually lazy descendants of. criminals. all they want to do when they when you. tell them not to work they're. alright and that's it do you think. australia's like demanding to work. all want to work no one cares. they just want to get bombed in their. house and. put a shish kebab on the grill all they. care about. is grilling and eating it's kind of.

interesting. there was this really great show called. instant hotel. and it was on netflix and i watched it. with alan pegg and. uh devon and i allen pegg and they came. to my house and we got addicted and we. binged it. and the reason it was so good was. because they used australians. who were notoriously uh monstrous people. a lot of fans there and we love you. but uh people without any taste or. decorum i mean it's good they have no. idea what's going on. so the idea that they're going to judge. hotels even airbnbs.

was a little bit hilarious you know like. they're just grotesque people they're. walking around and they're like. this isn't classy i mean look at this. group these are the people. judging if the hotel is nice or not. right. now this isn't the good group by the way. you got to find the first group season. one people. like with babe and bondi what's good. about it is there's these two gay guys. leroy and brent everyone hates them. um what's good about instant hotel is. they picked these. kind of trashy people and they would all. go after each other.

and they were rude to each other and. then the next season they go we want to. get more positive. and and then they ruin the entire show. but the first two seasons of instant. hotel are so great look at babe and. bondi. is this them right here uh yes so so to. the far left right there. is babe and bandai and then brent leroy. and what's great about this is. they all have these airbnbs right they. should do this in america and give those. two. lesbians to kick me off you know feature. their uh property but. it's cool it's a cool show all these. people go around to different airbnbs.

and they judge each other's airbnb. and they're spiteful and vindictive and. rude they're classless and. uh they're snobs but of course not based. on any. education or understanding of how the. world works they're not discerning. or interesting or intelligent people. they're they're just kind of uh. grotesque and. uh but what's great about it is it's. really really funny right it's really. really. funny to watch these people um that. truly like. learned how to use utensils within the. last 20 years. start talking about decor truly.

australia they've started to learn how. to use like knives and forks. relatively recently they prefer not to i. have friends that live there they. australians prefer to eat meat in with. just their hands. okay now and there's nothing wrong with. that it's sexy and fun over there. everything can kill them they just want. to go to the beach [ __ ] and eat. meat with their hands so everyone's like. why aren't they going nuts over this. lockdown i'm like. this is the best case scenario for them. they don't have to work.

they're all descendants of criminals and. all those animals are so poisonous right. they really don't want to go outside. they got bad stuff over there. well they do love going outside they. don't care if they get poisoned. these are also not good criminals right. the hamptons they're descendants of. criminals but criminals that have. succeeded. criminals that are good at crime right. new york money. these people are the ones in britain who. got caught like you know trying to rob a. [ __ ]. you know magistrate or something and. then you know his great granddaughter's. on instant hotel.

complaining about the size of the. bathroom i'm just saying it's a real. [ __ ]. it's a real romper room over there and i. enjoyed the hell out of it me and alan. pegg loved it. oh and one of the stars killed herself. go into this. find she killed herself one of the stars. of it. i like a reality tv when someone kills. himself. because then i know it was real. oh yes this is very sad she was persian. ben has to be the conscience of the show. so every now and then ben has now this.

woman was a [ __ ]. and i don't and i i don't like suicide. i don't like it because it's it's. i would rather people stay here and be. horrible. australian reality star shea rezai who. found fame on instant hotel in 2017 has. died at age 33. her former co-star mikey jello confirmed. the tragic news to daily mail australia. saying yes it is true. and very sad she had a funeral last. wednesday and her death was a week. before. even though we had not spoken for years. i will always cherish the fun time. she had a good heart and would always be.

the life of the party she was a very. vicious woman on instant hotel. i think it was drugs. [Music]. yeah so i mean that's sad but again it. shows you. um it shows you that this was. reality tv yeah yeah you're right about. the drugs thing what is it. i've heard from multiple sources she was. using drugs heavily yeah. well people were worried about her on. the show but the problem is the drugs. were really good for the show.

that's the problem unfortunately a lot. of times when you produce reality. television. you're it's a catch-22 because you're in. this position. of putting out something that's good or. respecting. human life you can't do both. i mean i'm telling you i've sat down. with some of these people some of the. most. i mean you want to talk about a blank. look in their face. some of the i mean i'm talking about.

sociopaths. some of the the coldest people that i've. ever had. interactions with produce reality. television shows. like like things that you wouldn't even. like cupcake wars like i'm the producer. of. cupcake wars and it's like you're. talking to them and you realize that. they're like donald rumsfeld. and you're like yeah i heard one of the. women in there her marriage fell apart. and they went bankrupt and. she's like well there are things you. know there are things you don't know. and there are things you don't know you.

don't know i'm like what. excuse me but that's how cold. and uh calculated some of these people. are. um but instant hotel is a real pick. from me australia expands coveted. lockdown over concerned virus. has spread from sydney some of these. cities have locked down with no. cases yeah why they don't care lock it. down. forsters australian for beer.

lock it down they don't give a [ __ ] all. right. all right no work it's no work huh. all right sounds good. yes let me know when they need me back i. don't know i coughed earlier. i'll just stay home i try to do an. australian it's hard because it becomes. british. um but you know hopefully this is the. last splash they can't arrest all of us.

rand paul. you know dude his hair's out of control. he's like leading the charge right now. against like. i know but i mean it's the the problem. with him is he just. looks like fievel. you know what i mean like i some of his. stuff i do agree with but like. i just i i just. why is the spokesman for all of the why. is everything like the worst. spokesman ever i mean this looks like. a guy that is like trying to like sell.

you like a. dodge dart. i mean it's. i mean like go to the go to the. can you play the uh the the guy trying. to make us get the vaccine. from the urban ohio play the. urban the urban outreach program for the. vaccine. look that's megan mccain at the olympics. that's nice. okay let me find this one second. magazine. i believe it was in arkansas and they.

were running it on like on youtube ads. before. yeah i mean this is it is just. phenomenal as we know. uh a lot of the people in the urban. community the black community do not. trust the vaccine and i wouldn't either. because of the tuskegee experiment and. many of the other problems. uh we have not i mean can we say this. the us government has not been. good to the black people is that are we. allowed to say that. so many of them are inherently skeptical. of the vaccine. so as in outreach to that uh our.

government who has spent. uh years and years and years lying to uh. people of color and uh putting them in. jail for no reason. and all kinds of crazy [ __ ] um. they have an urban uh an outreach. to people and. and this is somebody trying to make me. the vaccine during the pandemic my. lifestyle drastically changed my income. came to a screeching halt you have to. understand i'm a hustler i'm a legit.

entrepreneur i sell things. i come in contact with people all the. time i have to stay safe. i didn't have a choice but to trust him. why does this seem racist. do you understand what i mean why do i. start to cringe when he's like i'm a. hustler i sell thanks. what are we doing here who in arkansas. thought this was a good idea i'm a. hustler i sell things i'm not going to.

say what i sell. it's not my it's not your business i. make [ __ ] happen i know a guy it's like. why are we what is this. what is going on here first of all it's. also a bad idea because if you're not a. hustler an entrepreneur. you go i don't need it right you're. trying to. like broaden the scope of people you. want to get it what if there's a guy who. goes so i'm not an entrepreneur at all. i work at little caesars i don't need it. but it seems racist and i don't know why. but let's finish it up all right.

let's start it over because it's insane. during the pandemic my lifestyle. drastically changed. my income came to a screeching halt you. have to understand i'm a hustler i'm a. legitimate by the way. what car is he. an old ford mustang it's an old ford. mustang now he's outside of the building. we don't know where. we don't know what that building is. t-r-o-i-s. that's the end of the bit we don't know. but he's just posted up. on an old ford mustang in a parking lot.

being an entrepreneur he's not at a desk. he's not in an office. they didn't put him in an office the. state of arkansas. did not put him in office they didn't. put him in a suit they didn't put him. anywhere near a place of business he's. in a parking lot. on a ford mustang giving you advice. about the vaccine. continue during the pandemic my. lifestyle drastically changed my income. came to a screeching halt you have to. understand i'm a hustler i'm a legit.

entrepreneur i sell things what do you. do i come in contact with people all the. time. what's your job to stay safe i didn't. have a choice but to trust the vaccine. if you live the type of lifestyle that i. live doing. hustling why not do it safely what is. your job. what job description is quote out here. in these streets.

this is from the arkansas department of. health. what career. is described as i'm quote hustling. out here in these streets they're making. them seem like a drug deal. this is literally saying if you are also. a drug dealer. get the vaccine i mean that's literally. what it's saying. they're going hey if you sell drugs. you may not think it's important to get.

the vaccine but you should. there is by the way there is no attempt. to make this guy seem like he has a job. that anyone would understand as legit. his his job description is if you are. out here. hustling in these streets selling things. and coming into contact with people all. the time. get the vaccine what may i ask.

are you doing in these streets. i mean let's let's go through this again. i. i can almost not believe this start over. okay are you sure we're not being. trolled this is real. yeah let's let's just double check here. because they were playing it before. youtube videos yet. i was seeing it played before youtube. videos as ads. so yeah and they've turned the comments. off i wonder why they've done that. and it says right here on youtube from. state public health authority. jesus that's crazy okay keep going this.

is hilarious okay. during the pandemic my lifestyle. drastically changed my income came to a. screeching halt you have to understand. i'm a hustler i'm a legit entrepreneur i. sell things. i come in contact with people all the. time i have to stay safe. i didn't have a choice but to trust the. vaccine if you live the type of. lifestyle that i live. you're out here in these streets and. you're hustling an entrepreneur like me. why not do it safely so i want everybody. to take this seriously. take a shot at staying healthy take a. shot. wouldn't it be funny if he it was like a.

gang war at the end that's the weird. take a shot like should he even like. take a shot. just like that with the gun like right. to the camera. it seems odd i don't believe we're. getting trolled because youtube like has. anyone talked about this at all. i saw it go somewhat viral on twitter uh. yeah but other than. i found it on youtube and it played. before people's youtube ads they were. screen recording it and like sharing it. on tiktok and twitter. god take a shot. at staying healthy.

well. cummings response [ __ ] i've been dead. for 12 years. she wins. hey man i hope you're doing well my. friend who's coming to austin's looking. for food good food recommendations yet. don't come.

[Music]. my abusive stepfather made the best. salsa why i've reclaimed this recipe is. my own this was in today from the ages. of 12 to 22 i was stalked and harassed. by an anonymous predator the person. hacked my email sent me explicit. packages. and broken my apartment steal my laundry. and diaries for years i lived in terra. not knowing. who would do this to me or why finally. nearly a decade of mystery the truth. came out the perpetrator. of these disturbing actions was my own. stepfather and i told that. on the today show in 2019 my now former. stepfather has been in prison for these. and other crimes for 14 years he also.

bankrupted my mother. stole hundreds of thousands from his. financial planning clients and possessed. child pornography. in the intervening years i've more or. less succeeded in putting him out of my. mind although. i talk openly about him he he doesn't. fill my thoughts. and i don't dwell on the memories of him. okay and that should have been the end. that should have been the end right that. should have been the end. but not too long ago i stumbled upon his. old prized homemade salsa recipe.

one our family used to beg him to make. for parties and get-togethers. all these memories of this particular. food came flooding back poolside. hangouts over a big bowl of chips. and salsa with my cousins new year's eve. appetizer spread. fourth of july celebrations dipping and. crunching under the light of fire hey by. the way. get this guy out of jail can this be. introduced at a parole hearing. they should be introduced in a parole. hearing he should be let out of jail. because of this. being a food writer and an all-around. food uh lover i couldn't resist making. the sauce for myself and lo and behold.

it was every bit as amazing as i. remembered. the zesty flavor combo of fresh tomato. cilantro and onion. and the minced pico de gallo like. texture remained as irresistible as they. were in my last adolescence when. presumably. she was being hunted by a predator looks. good it does look great. but despite the perfection of gary's. famous house uh making it brought up. some conflicting emotions sure it was. restaurant quality but i had to wonder. if i included this recipe in my own. cooking repertoire would it always. remind me of the horrors of my.

stepfather could i ever look. at its jewel-toned blend of veggies. without flashing. back to the pain of my past after giving. it some thought i came to a decision. instead of thinking about this delicious. dip as a sole property of my abuser. maybe i could make it my own i never had. many family recipes passed down to me so. maybe this one could be a family recipe. in the truest raw sense one that bears. the scars of my past but reveals my. resilience too. that's the kind of recipe i'd like to.

pass down to my children the more i make. the salsa the less it bears my abuser's. imprint. i just love the idea of her handing it. down to her children and she goes listen. the salsa recipe i'm about to give you. comes from a very bad man a man who. would do. horrible things but one thing he didn't. do. was make bad salsa. he was abusive he was a pedophile he. bankrupted your grandmother.

but what he didn't do was [ __ ] up a dip. i mean christ i wish her all the best. that's a real austin texas article she. should move to austin. i hope the dad gets out like i really. really hope that dad. gets out of prison because of this like. at the parole hearing he reads this. and and they have to try the salsa like. they're like okay he's in here for. possession of child pornography. and all these other things but like the.

the parole board has to like they have. to take a bite of the salsa. and they start looking at each other and. by the way this is a fun reinvention of. the show top chef. finding out what pedophiles and prison. dishes that they were famous for. making them cook them and if there was. good as their victims remember they'd. get out. is there anything wrong with that. you know like. maybe there's a pedophile. who made a really good guac and.

like they're like if you can get the. perfect match of lime. cilantro salt and pep i mean we don't. need your rotten away in here. by the way no one is working because of. the stimulus and that companies don't. want to pay. so why not get this guy out of jail. and and let him make salsa somewhere he. doesn't have to do it in a school. let him make salsa at a restaurant where.

only. ugly adults work i knew a city with a. lot of. fours and fives working. i live very close to it i think that's. what you should do. tim miller comedy.com sorry about san. diego folks family thinks. you know what do you want me to do we're. coming back in december chicago there's. some tickets left. be there at the end of august patreon. episode will be out tomorrow. rothschild tier episode is out right now. with andrew sullivan. who's a great writer a very interesting.

guy he pioneered blogging. on the internet we have a very. interesting talk about. the united states of america and where. it is we were thinking of releasing it. as the episode but. we thought everybody would be really. angry. at uh a serious interview after the. episode was late. for what are we going on 48 hours yeah. about 48 hours. but i want you to go buy his book and. his new book is called. out on a limb book by andrew sullivan. selected writings and uh he's all over.

the place. gay somewhat conservative has hiv. it's for the iraq war but against it. liked obama but then. realized the uh limits of obama. he's killing it over on sub stack where. all those. journalists are did you see a little. beef between uh. brett weinstein and sam harris over the. vax. there was a little put that. beef on the grill i don't want to go.

into this i'm not a doctor. but i can i don't know if we can play. his channel here's the word no no don't. do anything there you you know. god only knows i would offer these. gentlemen something. if you want to debate the vaccine i will. dress like megan mccain and sodomize. myself. on my show while you guys debate the. vaccine. so if brett weinstein and sam harris. want to come on my. show and debate the vaccine i will take. a. dildo to my ass brutally.

dress up like megan mccain to the point. where like i literally. [ __ ] myself on my own show. like in stirrups just [ __ ] wedging in. there. [ __ ] just and blood rivers is [ __ ] and. blood. all over the studio while you guys. discuss the vaccine. anyway open invite good night.