#257 - Bomb Energy | The Tim Dillon Show
ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim. dillon show happy father's day i'm. calling my father. for the first time on the show we. haven't spoken in a few months both of. us very busy. and we're calling him for the first time. on the program. very excited about that have you do you. call your father tomorrow. yeah i'll see my dad actually does. hunter biden call his father tomorrow. i bet he does hunter biden is joe. biden's son. he's the uh the roger clinton.
uh the wild brother kind of the black. sheep the neil bush. as you would say of the family. reading a article now from the new york. post it says hunter biden called asians. quote yellow in text exchange with. cousin but the text exchange is a little. creepy. it's weird yeah and people are. speculating they're saying is this human. trafficking. this is the text exchange and do we know. who hunter is. is he the blue he's the blue i believe.
so this is the text exchange somebody. says. she's a legend none of these women are. except for diva. d-e-v-a deva diva but nikola. deva and ella and lucy and. all know quality girls who like i am. are distrusting and highly highly wary. of evil. i also have denise to german 26. somebody writes no to lucy i think. that's what hunter hunter yeah hunter.
writes no to lucy. somebody writes okay so fine do you want. foreign or domestic. hunter goes and you have to make the. pitch directly. this is hunter i can't give you a. blip ing asian sorry i'm not doing it. hunter goes domesticated foreigner is. fine. then the person says i'd give you. isabella but she has kids. and an nba ex-husband and then hunter. biden goes no yellow.
and somebody goes yes mina and that's it. do we know what this is i mean this. might somebody might just be setting him. up with an escort. it's speculative but this is from. caroline biden his cousin. i don't know if it's human trafficking. it could be just. an escort it could be human trafficking. it could be we don't know. and what is caroline biden is leaking. this. uh i think this is all from hunter's. laptop they're recovering all the text. messages where is this laptop i don't.
know. where is it i don't know i mean. this guy let's be very honest. is fun i guess the daily mail has it. looks like it they have the laptop. so this guy for people that don't know. abandoned the laptop. to get it fixed in delaware in delaware. and he wasn't thinking because he uses. drugs. and everything is apparently on this. laptop. i mean ufo footage human trafficking.
the nuclear codes the launch codes i. mean supposedly everything that you. could. ever want to know about any conspiracy. is somehow on this laptop i'm. obviously being facetious about that but. there are. some things on the laptop he probably. doesn't want out so the daily mail has. his laptop. his cousin's attractive huh yeah he'd. [ __ ] his cousin. you know that thought has crossed his. head hunter and the cousin.
so now he says uh racial slurs because. he's a crack addict yeah. so but now now like this is the problem. with. uh you know rabid political ideology. is that now conservatives are trying to. cancel this crackhead. based on text messages he sent while he. was smoking crack. so that's what conservatives are doing. instead of going we got we kind of got. duped by trump. the q and on movement i mean it's not.
doing great. uh it's seen better days we kind of get. duped. the immigration of the borders worse. than it's ever been online censorship. is is ratcheting up but we'll talk about. that later. no none of the goals were really. accomplished during the trump. administration when you had a republican. congress and senate and whatever quote. unquote whatever you want to call it the. cancel. culture the blah blah blah uh on. universities and in corporate america.
has seemingly. gotten worse that being said republicans. in order to fight that. have decided to. find instances where hunter biden the. president's crackhead son. has used racial slurs he called his. white attorney the n-word. he called his white attorney the n-word. that's how conservatives are trying to. get back in power. by proving that hunter biden a crack. addict. has said the n-word we know he has.
i mean i'm more interested in what the. [ __ ] was going on in the text threat. i mean maybe they're just setting them. up with an escort i'm all for that. but it's very interesting when he goes. you want foreign or domestic. that's cute but it does sound. interesting and he goes i'd give you. isabella but she has. kids well i don't know why does that. matter. if it's her job right something's going.
on. what is what do you mean i'd give you. isabella but she has kids. and don't go queuing on like oh he's. trying to make her disappear i don't. really think that's happening. um i think what he's probably trying to. do. is he wants a chick. and maybe he just said i don't want. anyone with kids maybe he specified that. like i want an escort that doesn't have. chill although i don't feel like hunter. biden.
is making is that drawing that moral. line in the sand. but i don't know maybe hunter biden is. saying. hey i can't get off if i know she's got. kids at home. and an nba ex-husband so that's another. thing. i could get yeah but i don't want i see. he's a big deal. he's a little famous ex-nba husband so. maybe you can't [ __ ] around with her and. hang out she's got kids and it could get. real. sticky i think that's what the guy's. telling him this could be a sticky. situation.
if i set you up with this chick it's not. gonna be good. your dad's trying to be the president or. thinks he might be the president. so this is not good so hunter goes no. yellow. and it's racist and he's also you know i. don't know. i don't know what's going on here but. i know that there. no one cares about any of this and i. don't really care about any of it either. i don't care what hunter biden.
i mean you could turn up anything about. hunter biden i would not be shocked like. there would be. no story about hunter biden that at this. point would currently. throw me off my access access like if. you told me if you said. hey so they found on hunter biden's. laptop. uh that hunter biden. uh was actually the reason reason that.
that malaysian plane went. down it was him and he parachuted out. i would go what they go remember the. malaysian plane that disa. that was hunter biden there's a video of. it on his laptop he's parachuting out. and i'd go oh all right like there's. there's there's no huge. like there's no like shock in awe. this is a crack addict when someone is.
doing crack. you imagine they're going to be involved. in. hijinks that's what he was involved in. some hijinks. and some uh tomfoolery you'd imagine. that he's uh. smoking crack how disappointing to be. smoking crack. and to not be getting escorts and he. should have the pick of the litter. um what is so weird the guy goes i can't. give you blank asian sorry i'm not doing. it.
and you and the hunter goes you have to. make the pitch drug it's such a weird. way to get an escort it's such an odd. way when hunter goes you have to make. the pitch directly which i kind of. understand hunter is like listen i don't. want to. pick you have to pitch this woman to. what i want. before she's got to show up and know. what the deal is. how much do i owe you 100 biden asked.
some guy. how much do i owe you before adding. because blank. n-word you better not be charging me. hennessy rates. i mean hunter. oh that was also with caroline. yeah wait a second. for the chat with caroline ask mesures. okay.
i wonder why the cousin is like getting. him escorts too like what. well i don't i don't know if the cousin. is. i don't know what's going on. however hunter's father has his own. history of usually racially charged. language towards south asian people. remarking in 2006 that you cannot go to. a 7-eleven or a dunkin donuts unless you. have a slight indian accent. yeah people are forgetting that joe.
biden's been like a racist forever. like joe biden remember when he said um. he referred to the inner cities as. jungles. what did he mean by that biden's been. a kind of a good old boy delaware racist. forever i mean now you know obviously. he said obama's the first good clean. articulate black guy. to run for president this is biden i. mean this is what he does right. we've all forgotten about that that's.
fine you might think he was a lesser of. two evils but. don't forget that biden pops off as well. and um the content of the message. suggests that it took place after 100. pot and ended his relationship with. haley biden. the widow of his older brother beau. that's a special guy. who starts [ __ ] your dead brother's. wife. immediately and what is her deal.
this is what i mean about these are the. people running the country. you know dave smith made a point on. rogan where it was like you had epstein. you had hillary clinton running for the. presidency her aide huma. abedin her aide is was married to. anthony weiner. sexual predator hillary's husband is. bill clinton. sexual predator it's like how many. sexual predators. are in your day-to-day life i mean.
that's a fair question when you look at. the bidens what the [ __ ]. is going on hunter biden smoking crack. and then starts [ __ ] his dead. brother's. widow like immediately. and then after that ends he's like. getting escorts and. i mean is a wild man. i mean i don't know. but that that's what happens.
in these families. whether it's the bushes or the clintons. or the bidens you you don't know much. about the inner dynamics of. of any of these families most of what. you know is a completely manufactured. narrative. that is spun uh by pr. people and uh. the media and by the time you find.
out who these people really are. they [ __ ] you ten different ways. by the time you unearth the information. that you should have had. to make the decisions about. whether they should get the job or not. you're in deep [ __ ] it's true. by the time you figure out who george w. bush. really is you're in uh two wars.
you've got two wars and you've lost all. your civil liberties. that's what happened this is another. article i love hunter biden's artwork. he's actually good and will be worth a. lot. well drugs help he's selling some pieces. for half a million. of course he is can you imagine the. people walking around going that's an. original hunter biden. i get more and more marxist every day on. the show. and i have make more and more money.
because what i'm starting to realize is. that if you have. the money to spend half a million. dollars on an original. work of hunter biden crackhead. and putting it up in your mansion you. maybe shouldn't have the money. it's true also i mean i i put up a. satirical. uh thing on instagram the other day they. take it down. we send it to our friend in vc it's a. joke i said i'm osama bin laden i'm not. dead. i'm i'm get i'm i'm getting into an.
energy drink and we're entering the. first round of fundraising. and it's called bomb energy and you know. i did a lot of jokes i said. and um can we pull it up you think let's. read the email. that instagram took down which is. clearly satirical. and this is why i'm getting frustrated. everyone hates the way i say that word i. say. frustrated but it's frustrated with. capitalism because you would think. capitalism has all these badasses to go. [ __ ] you it makes money right but what. it really is is a lot of people. that are [ __ ] and they're rolling.
over because. 10 people on twitter get offended at. something i know. all these badasses supposedly these cold. heartless capitalists. they're all rolling over uh and. capitulating to like. it used to be like this mob of weird. evangelical soccer moms. that would be like we don't want marilyn. manson performing in pittsburgh. and now it's like. [ __ ] uh a few thousand people on.
twitter that get angry about anything. and these billion dollar corporations. and these ceos worth a hundred million. dollar. they just roll the [ __ ] over cause. they're terrified. well what the [ __ ] the point. i mean at the end of the day didn't. stalin just kill these people without a. problem. to the gulag maybe that's where i. ideologically end up. saying well you know what everyone gets. to go to the gulag.
let's pull this email up that we sent to. our friend. who's a friend of ours he's a young kid. in vc. and we said dear frederick my name is. osama bin laden. many people think i am dead that is not. true i'm alive and well. and i'm very excited about the energy. drink space. we have come up with a caffeine-free. antioxidant packed energy drink. called bomb energy which promotes. overall health. while stimulating the consumer in a. sustainable and vital manner.
we are beginning to raise capital and. are hoping for a 9 11 launch date. which i had nothing to do with by the. way we're very interested in partnering. with your venture. to take bomb energy to the next level. our slogan. is bomb energy the jews run the world. initial focus groups have been very. responsive to the slogan mind you. many of them have been done in the arab. world we're looking to potentially. soften our messaging. as we take bomb energy.
mainstream and that is why we believe. you a squishy bagel face. are the right person to help us in this. endeavor we are committed. to increasing our market share in the. ever-expanding market. of health and nutrition we thought this. project would interest you. a little zionist doughboy we look. forward to hearing from you and working. together. and then we say we also have heard. positive things about uh patrick. finnegan hopefully you can connect us. who's a. a venture guy in new york who's on. clubhouse who we knew and then i said. best regards osama ceo of bomb energy.
and instagram took this off. i don't know why it's supposedly it's an. algorithm that identifies. words how but there's a lot of words. that are criticizing zionism and i'm. making a joke. some i guess jews or or bin laden. i think it's the bin laden thing it said. when they took it off it said. an association with dangerous groups. right. so i. am just getting a little i'm a little.
i'm a little listen. we all know capitalism has this lion's. share of problems. but we never anticipated that one of. them that would be that the. ceos of companies are too sensitive. and it and that's my issue now. it's one of them i would like people to. have health care and i would like them. to afford buying a house. but i would also like if you're gonna be. a capitalist pig. be one and tell people to shut the [ __ ]. up go.
dude the guy's got a certain amount of. followers. he's a comedian it says comedian in the. thing i'm not gonna whine about this the. whole episode because it's boring and we. get it. but they're trying to kick the. weinsteins off and you know me and the. weinsteins are just. deeply in love with each other and. here's what i'll say about the. weinsteins they should. i think they're smart and i think they. should be able to say whatever they want. to say on youtube. i don't care what they're talking about. whether it's the voting or the migration. patterns of bees. or whatever it it doesn't matter to me.
and i think they make a lot of sense. when they stick to science and. evolutionary biology because that's what. you do. and i think they should be able to do it. and i want to hear what they have to say. about the vaccine and what they have to. say about ivor mets or whatever the [ __ ]. it is. i i'm i'm not talking about it because i. don't know anything about it. i got the vaccine because i want to go. to london and suck off somebody. with who's uncut who has the with the. when the skin is over the head of the. penis and i can't do it. if i'm in uh america well i can't i.
would. did it once it was not for me but i. figured british would be better. and then you could have the roast have. the roast on sundays with the peas that. they mash up it's not a great food. country but. they have uh the uh the indians very. good the chicken tikka marsala. my point is this i wasn't like the. vaccine is here. i didn't change my name to vaccine on. twitter like some mentally deranged. people i know. i got the vaccine because i thought i. would need it to do my job and i would i. will i know. to go anywhere and to do anything but. listen i want to know.
about everything and i think it's good. for society when you look at how fast. that labley hypothesis went from a. conspiracy. to a mainstream news where jon stewart. is on colbert saying hey guys. he's saying the exact same thing that. the weinsteins were saying six. [ __ ] months ago to their credit to. brett's credit and to heather hein's. credit. and i have no closer friends than those. two but. uh and i like them they're just a little. is a little sensitive but. i think they're spot on with a a lot of.
that stuff. and they should be able to go into i. don't need to i don't need expertise on. everything that's ever. happened but i think this is this is. their [ __ ] turf. and to get them off youtube is [ __ ] up. but no one cares. so there's gonna need to be an. alternative there's gonna need to be an. alternative to youtube there's gonna. need to be an alternative. um to to a lot of these social media. sites i don't know who's going to do it. or who's going to come up with it but. there's going to be after it's going to. have to be an alternative and it got to. be 20 million. can we get spotify on the phone by the.
way can we get them on the phone right. now because i'm a little. i'm a little heated we have the core. daddy girl get. 60 million dollars uh to talk about anal. joe rogan gets 100 million dollars to. talk about aliens and bigfoot. and tim dillon who is really covering. everything uh gets nothing. the greatest podcast right now the tim. dillon show has been offered. zero dollars from spotify zero dollars. but we've got uh joe rogan and uh that.
uh call her daddy alex so what i'd like. to do. is i'd like to call spotify and i would. like to request. 20 million dollars and that's what the. show is worth. yes when we've done the metrics we got a. lot of people listening here. so i would like to 20 million dollars. from spot is there no number. we can call a number now why can't we. call because they. they don't have people working and it's. just an email that they get back to you. like years later. this is absurd i'm trying to see if i.
can find a foreign number to call. call them in sweden where that guy lives. the ceo. i think he lives in switzerland or. sweden or something should we go there. maybe we should just go there i'm. talking to an attractive guy from. holland. he's got blonde hair he speaks funny. sounds like a fish. um this is is this brick call that. england okay. see if they answer that call that. connector i've had enough of not getting. what i want but my point is that you. shouldn't have with the kind of.
disposable income. where you and who wants hunter biden's. [ __ ] artwork. that junkie he's moved to l.a what is he. what did he what does he paint his dead. widow's puss what is he painting. this is the article hunter biden laying. low in l.a starting art career with. shady dealer. i gotta be honest is it it's hard not to. like him. i'm trying not to like him can you. dislike him no it's very difficult to. dislike him.
it's very difficult he's in la where. we'll be back there. eventually oh in the fall and uh maybe. we'll get him on the show. and uh he's he's becoming an artist. great. he's doing impressionist work let's. let's see if we could get through to. these people because quite frankly or. code you have dialed is incorrect. well what is that that's the spotify. general info. number thanks [ __ ] them. we're taking our show off spotify i. think oh really i think we're going to.
do that. we have a lot of listeners on there yeah. but there are a lot of people i think. that's the best thing to do. okay because then maybe they'll give us. a big offer which they won't but. it seems like when the shows go to. spotify they're not as big is that true. yeah i know one guy at spotify but he. just quit so. we could call him though who mike who is. he. he's uh he's over at a different company. now but he wasn't spotify can you call. him yeah yeah. call him i'll call him they call him.
right now. i want 20 million dollars. you find his email what if i did a. podcast with hunter biden. can can we call spotify and tell them. that we'll do a podcast with hunter. biden called. the laptop where we go through his. laptop and we play videos of him. painting all the women he's tortured. i think that's a good idea. we'll stop every now and then to read an.
ad for blue chew. and then we'll go back to going over all. the red rooms that hunter biden has. spent time and. you know eli roth hostile style taking a. [ __ ] drill to some woman's eye. and we'll discuss that it's an. interesting life he's an interesting guy. okay here's mike he should have a. podcast. we should tell him if he answers he's on.
the show yeah. he listens to the show so he'd be fine. with it doesn't mean we can record him. without his consent. he's not answering no one works you know. oh it's saturday i guess yeah well what. does that mean. what does that mean money doesn't flow. another clown i love keeps one of my. good friends is experiencing hair loss. and i put them on to keeps. the greatest thing about keeps is it.
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as her for halloween and he he looks. like her you can't do that now anymore. that'd be good upset about that probably. victoria's secret assigned soccer world. cup winner megan rapinoe and actress. priyanka chopra jonas oh she's married. to nick jonas or one of the jonas's. joe jonas maybe victoria's secret assign. yeah we just did that um the blaggered. lingerie giant is relaunching and moving. away. from traditionally real thin models by. introducing the vs collective. with diverse leading icons and change.
makers including jonas and rapano to. shape the future of the brand. but don't expect to see white tigers. star chopra and rapido who've been a. preeminent voice in the fight. for women's equal pay in the soccer. world posing in the firm's. famously flimsy barely their briefs. we are told they're both being hired as. spokeswoman and will instead appear on a. podcast. and then marketing materials for the. recovering brand. so victoria's secret is not doing well. as a brand supposedly and they've.
decided that. what they should do is get rid of the. angels and the attractive women and. bring in women that may be attractive. but are different shapes. i don't care about this really. um i i think. with the availability of online porn. i don't know that straight men care that.
much. about the victoria's secret angels right. right it seems kind of a quaint archaic. yeah. it seems like a quaint and cute idea. but if if. if guys can go online with a click of a. finger. see barely legal college girls choke. down. [ __ ] and then take shots to the face. and then. you know orgies and gang bangs and. chicks getting waterboarded. and strangled and people bleeding on.
each other and scat. bdsm people getting tied up choked out. punched. fingered in their eye you know people. just i mean do we. do does anyone really i think the war on. the standard of beauty. is you know not the direction i'd like. to see the world go in. i think it's an unrealistic standard of. beauty but lots of things are. unrealistic right. none of us are gonna have uh a house in. the hamptons. or a maybach but is it do we now have to.
say that those things are not desirable. of course there's trade-offs to having. those things. maybe you have to work harder maybe you. have to hollow yourself. out maybe you'll never have real friends. maybe. you'll have to be skeptical of everyone. around you deeply paranoid. maybe you have to arrange your emotions. uh in. in in the way that a serial killer would. in order to move up the ladder in. whatever organization that's paying you. the type of money. to have those things i don't know but to.
say. that on their face a beach house in the. hamptons or a maybach. is not a nice thing to have is. ridiculous and to say that a. skinny body with big tits or a skinny. body with a big dick. is not nice to have even though it's. unrealistic for most people. the idea that as a as is standard and. not a standard that people have to. attain. but there's a standard to just look at. and go huh that's nice. you know when you walk around a locker.
room and you see a guy. when i was a swimmer for years and you. see a guy with a big soft penis. which is rare i mean a big soft. i don't mean like like oh it's visible i. mean like it hangs. and it just flows in the wind that when. you go. even a heterosexual guy goes yeah that. might be fun to have. and who knows i don't know maybe there's. downsides to that i'm sure there are. whatever you know. man spreading i don't know uh that being. said.
um there's very few people that look at. a penis like that. and go well i'm i don't want to give. that a shot. and i don't mean that you don't have to. suck it but i mean like having it. most people look at the pillar when a. woman sees another woman who's thin and. has. big tits perkins you go i would like to. take that for a spin for a week. go you know what i'd like to look like. that for a little bit let's see what. it's like. it's the truth and. truth now is an inconvenient al gore.
but it's it people are it's uh. it's but it's troubles people when you. say things that are true that doesn't. mean. hey good-looking people a lot of times. they're better not as good as. people that are like decent looking like. all day loans. meaning that it's not prime credit but. it's pretty good. they [ __ ] better usually than people. that are insanely good looking because. insanely good looking people a lot of. times are just they're. you know they're not really givers or. thinking about themselves and they're. not there and. nothing going on in their head and.
whatever they're not they're not. passionate people. so some of these people it's not even. sexual. when you look at some of these things. you go i don't know even though if it's. sexual some of it is. but it's just a standard of beauty. i always looked at models and i was like. they're not always sexual but there's a. beauty to them. and that doesn't mean that fat people. can't be beautiful and people. fro with the scars can't be beautiful. and people in wheelchairs can't be. beautiful and. all of that is true and people with the.
flesh-eating bacteria. necrotizing fasciitis can be beautiful. or people that. don't have arms or legs or just kind of. a torso. they can be beautiful and people that. are you know. dead and kind of having rigor mortis set. in where. their body is starting to rot it smells. bad they can. be beautiful it's not to say that. somebody who half of their face is. missing because they fell asleep. and their house went on fire can't be. beautiful they can be beautiful. it doesn't mean that somebody whose eyes.
have been both gouged out. uh can't be beautiful because you can. put glass ones in it doesn't mean that. somebody. with a fungus that has eaten the. majority of their vaginal area. can't be beautiful and they had that. surgery it doesn't mean that it doesn't. mean that. somebody who is like a a centaur which. is half horse. half burst it can be beautiful they have. a big horse [ __ ] you jerk it off. it smells a little weird and it's furry. but they can be beautiful it doesn't. mean that a fawn. can be beautiful which is a half goat. half human it doesn't mean that somebody. who's a thousand pounds.
can be beautiful and that has a little. bit of a rash on the innards of their. anus. that has turned into this you know pus. filled things that are very very big and. they explode. every time they take your [ __ ] it. doesn't mean they can't be beautiful it. doesn't mean. somebody with the type of psoriasis that. is it's almost like a dinosaur's skin. the scales. are and they flake off and they're so. rough that they can actually cut your. skin. if you touch them it doesn't mean they. can't be beautiful. what it means is that there's a little.
bit of a standard that's widely. recognized. as a nice looking. that's all we saw a gentleman today at. brunch who had. was was he was not white which is nice. was uh hispanic and had shaggy hair. it was a very nice you go that's a. good-looking person. that's a good-looking person if that. person. was six or seven hundred pounds bigger.
than they are now. it might hurt the look. it may not i don't know but. they and they weren't thin that that guy. was not thin right. he was like lean it was lean there was. no six pack right but there was a lean. assume. but i mean what i'm saying is that. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. that's that's my point and i and i hope. victoria's secret figures it out i just. what i think is gonna happen and there's. nothing wrong with this is just.
the victoria's secret fashion show is. gonna start and they're just gonna start. in wheelchairs rolling out. people with flesh-eating diseases and. that's okay i'm for that i don't care. i don't care i'm for that this affects. me. uh not at all it affects hunter biden. ship station a lot of people are making. money online i'm telling you right now. the economy is about to crash online. commerce is the way to go. if you're running a business you don't. want to spend time focusing on shipping. that's why no matter what you're selling. amazon etsy your own website ship.
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part of your business having a 60-day. free trial is huge it is big. two months free it's just profit baby no. hassle stress free shipping go to. shipstation.com. click on the microphone at the top of. the page and type in tim dillon. t-i-m-d-i-l-l-o-n. that's shipstation.com enter offer code. tim dillon t-i-m-t-i-l-l-o-n make ship. happen s-h-i-p. make ship happen after spending the. summer on the sidelines we're all ready.
to get back out there and make this. season's lounge season is an epic one. bespoke post is here to take your sans. sun and surf game to the next level i. love these things. box of awesome i send them to people. it's a great gift to send somebody. instead of buying a gift you could get. them a year subscription a box of. awesome. and you could cancel any time it's free. to sign up you can skip a month or. cancel any time. each box costs 45 but it has 70 dollars. worth of gear inside it's a great way to. get someone to gift it every single. month. they're they're reminded you got them a.
gift truly. 20 off your first monthly box you can. curate it if they're a dude and they. want outdoor gear and. grooming goods and travel stuff it's got. cool little stuff. about having a home bar or whatever if. they're into different things it's. really really cool you can curate it to. their interest. box of awesome.com under the code tim. dillon i've gotten this now for a few. people. as a gift and they all call me and go. thank you every month which i like. it's not just a one and done gratitude. it's all the time they go. hey man thank you and if they skip a.
month you can kind of develop an. a grudge and i like that too but they. just keep. thanking you and recognizing that you. gave them a gift. every single month box of awesome.com. enter the code tim dillon at checkout. 20 off your first box get it for. yourself get it for others. how great is it uh 45 and you do that. for the whole year. it's nothing and you got a you give. somebody the whole year. it's great if your son or daughter is. going off to college this is amazing to.
do for them. okay if uh somebody you know is moving. away you go hey we've created. this cool box you're gonna get in the. mail every month it's great for somebody. with a new house new apartment going to. school. it's amazing 20 off your first monthly. box all these things sponsor the tim. dillon show. we appreciate that so helping them helps. us go to tim dillon to check out 20. off your first box box of awesome.com. book of mormon uh which is do you know. my second cousin wrote this. or my third cousin oh really this guy. robert lopez who's like kind of related.
to me but really not related to me. and him and his wife probably want. nothing to do with me they're new york. uh. theater people theatre people. a book of mormon the tony winning. musical uh comedy by trey parker matt. stone and robert lopez so he's the. he's the music he writes the music he. wrote uh let it go. for trojan he wrote to music for frozen. he wrote avenue q. um the show's a reverend depiction of. africans has been much discussed topic. in theater circles since matters.
of broadway's entrenched racism took on. a renewed scrutiny followed last. summer's blm protest in a people tv. interview. original cast member josh gad asked. about a potential film adaptation said. i don't know that the show could open. today and have the same sort of open arm. response that it did then. it's not to say that it's less. significant or wonderful or incredible. as a musical. i just think the nature of the art to. adapt. isn't it a book about mormons who are. ridiculous yeah. these people believe in magical. underwear and that the bible is.
uh dictated to a guy named joseph smith. that was like staying in a holiday inn. or something yeah yeah. so the whole musical. is a brilliant satire about how insane. that is correct to a degree right. and they i guess they also they're. they're slightly tone deaf when it comes. to africans because it's satirizing. mormons correct. who are probably racist. yeah right yeah that's the whole point. right the whole point is for you to go. look how ridiculous right look how.
absurd. not well they got a point right but. that's the fear. the fear is that people go there and. they sit down in a broadway theater in. the middle of manhattan and go. yep they're right they're right about. black people they're wrong about. everything else they believe about. magical underwear and joseph smith it. was like some drunk. who came up with some dumb like they're. they're wrong about all that and the. temple you have to go. yeah they're wrong about all that so. it's absurd to me this system was the. most successful. broadway show in you know other than. hamilton in like history book of mormon.
was. so incredibly successful nobody. was upset at book of mormon it was. widely understood. that this was a parody of people that. believed. absurd things okay. and now people are going we have to. adapt correct. we have to change it it's interesting. when you look at trey parker and matt. stone who are probably the most. brilliant satirists. of our time and political social.
commentary nobody really does it better. and people going let's change it let's. take a step. back and let's change it. and i don't know it just seems like it. it's never ending. and then in the heights comes out. lin-manuel miranda people go well. there's colorism. uh the latin people are not afro-latino. i don't know. listen you know. at the end of the day it's like.
it's a great quote we're letting the. perfect become the enemy of the good. if it is good to have more. representation which i think it is. it's clearly good as long as it's based. on talent right. merit and finding people that are really. good at what they do. and not softening uh the entire space to. where you're elevating mediocre people. based solely on uh. you know box checking but if if if you. have people that are super. talented which in many cases they do. this is a great positive thing but let's.
not let the perfect become the enemy of. the good. nothing's going to be and it's it's also. whose idea is perfect we don't know what. perfect. is but certain people's idea of like. everything has to check every box and be. the most. and it's like we're losing art can't. function like that. it can't it just simply cannot and all. the people that dismiss these concerns. and go like this is all old people that. are like hey i. i can't go on stage and hate transgender. people anymore.
sure there's an element of that but i. think the. more you know reasonable. people are saying all these things are. a net positive diversity different. voices. different stories things like that it. matters how it's done and. it matters that the art is first the. comedy's first. whatever you're doing happens to be. first and. you're not pathologizing everything. into a political statement you're making.
something great and including other. people. for no other reason than the fact that. they enrich the the work and make it. better. it's crazy that essential never had an. asian person on. it's crazy that they didn't have a black. woman i've said that black women are. probably the naturally funniest group of. people. over a certain age usually over 40. but. it's crazy that essential but it's all. these white. liberal uh you know harvard guys that. all you people want to be ruled by all. the time. all you people they seem to escape as. long as you're a tall. ivy league white guy you seem to get out.
of the you seem to have that and they. everybody still you know builds a statue. to you on the temple mount. um i don't cast snl you know they. probably had some blind spots. they certainly did but you know we've. taken it to a level here where it's. you know where it's getting absurd. you know you know if every single story. just has to have the most mark the most. marginalized people. truly are dead people.
right they're not alive they don't have. the privilege of. even drawing breath so if we take this. to its logical conclusion. we're all necrophiliacs because if. you're alive there's some level of. privilege in being alive. so if we're just gonna do if we're just. going to have. we're just gonna we're gonna have to put. a bunch of corpses in a room. and call it the christmas story. if if that's what we're really gonna do.
because now people are like well you. have you're ableist you can walk. you're neurotypical you're not autistic. you're cisgendered so you're the gender. that you were born as. you're straight you're not queer. you're you know so so again we just. we're going. down the line here and it just seems a. little ridiculous. and and we all know that and there's.
really no way out of it per se. so that's why there'll probably be some. type of. uh there's a split happening and it's. pretty big. the people that are on tv right now that. have their own shows have far less. followers. on twitter and instagram than i do and. other people that are online. one of the reasons for that is the. eyeballs are leaving tv and they're. going to the internet. how do people try to colonize the. internet what a word. colonize we don't know but. it's coming it's coming.
and you see the split and the people. that are on one side of the split are in. a fit of rage. i don't care i can enjoy shows like. hacks on hbo. i'd say they're fun shows but. a lot of the same people in that part of. the entertainment business. are somehow angry that there's people. online. that have money and that have a. following uh. and the people in the media that work. for. major corporations and networks are.
angry that there are people that are on. sub stack. writing and having a following so you. see a theme here. you see this decentralization happening. and a lot of people are. not happy about it there's a lot of. people that are angry about it. and they're going to do something they. keep. trying to do something the problem is. the money is with us for the moment the. the. people want the content we have the. freedom right now. and it's making money because it.
resonates with people because we can do. what within reason what we want to do. and we hope it stays like that you know. but if not. i will with hunter biden start. a podcast and it will be great. bill moore he's he's a lot of great. takes it's just too much of a get off my. lawn energy. like a lot of his takes are good it's. just couched in a. and again it's my same thing it's like. him kimmel. fallon colbert just go yeah yeah just go.
you've been around for too long you did. it you had it we. we have the same these these networks. are terrified of replacing these people. they try to literally sing it bombed. they try they're. they're terrified they're terrified of. what. the new late-night shows will look like. because of everything i just mentioned. but give me one. give shane gillis one give nick mullen. wouldn't it be great. wouldn't it be great you want to see. that guy that writer the.
uh cessnaming when she's head melt. i get a late night show shane gillis. gets one and nick mullen gets one. you want to see like just heads. his head just completely melts but. we're on tour caroline sold out five. shows within uh a few hours we're really. excited about that. we've got other dates too we've got so. many the merch is over sunday at. midnight so today. when this comes out you've got one more.
day for fake business for the pink the. yellow. any of the fake business merch also the. tim dillon show. t-shirts hoodies uh the the flash drive. just sold out 20 for the flash drive. that was a little excessive. um the fake business thermos. the fake business white hot. the fake business notebook is sold out. and also that other things. okay well yeah they're all sold out. except for the shirts. the real good stuff the hats get it.
i'm telling you right now it's great for. the fall i know it's party summer but. the fall is coming folks. that's a killer summer shirt but the. fall is coming and hunter biden's going. to pick up that rock again. and he's going to make some great art. where do you want to be when you hear. hunter biden crash his car. on the middle of melrose i want to be. sitting in my fake business. hoodie in the fall where do you want to. be when hunter biden. oh deez i mean dude do you think biden.
they've hired your secret service to. like camp out outside of his house. um look at that coffee brown tim dillon. show hoodie i like that one a lot does. it get better than that. what do you have planned for katie's. parents uh we're gonna go golfing. tomorrow oh. nice and did you tell them you're. leaving. yeah eventually and they and what did. they say they said uh we know ben's. worked very hard and. we what's great about these texas. families this is what i've learned about. texas people i'm gonna i'm gonna give. some compliments now. because and by the way the only i'm. never sitting on text i'm shooting on.
austin which i like texas a lot. i like dallas i like people with big. hair and really cool pools and hot days. and. that kind of like you know that that bus. boy today was like latin but not. that's the whole thing now and i don't. mean but not like. if you know i'm saying it's that mixing. is nice. everybody likes it right everybody likes. it oh the mashed potatoes and the gravy. the point is what i'm saying is that. these texas families stay out of your. [ __ ] business. they stay the [ __ ] out long island.
people. are loud obnoxious. nosy just in your [ __ ] business. in your life your name is in their mouth. all the time these texas families just. by seeing ben's family and katie's. family. they are just stoic ranch people. and it is so important they just let. their kids live their lives they respect. them they go. we raise good kids they're gonna go out.
and live their lives. we are independent don't you feel that. yeah they're like just be independent. that's great that is a [ __ ] texas. long island is just this thing where. they go we want. to control you and we want to. give you our opinion all the time and we. want and it's just. [ __ ] and i really appreciate this. texas. you know freedom it's about freedom yeah. your aunt will call. you and talk you out of decisions you. haven't even made yeah she'll be like.
hey. if you're thinking about it don't do. this because but in fairness. i will do that to others yeah but i'm. right. i have that long island thing too where. i will call people and tell them what to. do. and how to live but i'm. correct i guess she thinks she's right. that's the problem but she's not. but i am. denver comedy works i try to get tickets.
we're trying to open them up in full cap. the 23rd through the 27th it's the only. time i'm gonna be in denver for a while. we're trying to open this club up try to. get tickets keep trying. because every day they're adding more. tickets raleigh north carolina the 8th. through the 10th new york city caroline. sold out 15 to the 17th boston. massachusetts wilbur theater. there are some tickets left july 21st. through the. 23rd foxwoods casino in connecticut. there are tickets left on the 24th a few.
of them irvine we're adding shows. keep checking even if you heard or saw. that one of them is sold out. capacity is constantly being updated. tickets are constantly being added. irvine california the 29th through the. 31st. san diego california the 12th through. the 14th american comedy code las vegas. that's a music festival. if you're if you're there at the. festival you want to buy a ticket to. that i'm doing an hour there. um why is that on there twice.
uh because you're also doing the i think. you're doing two shows you're doing. house of blues and then you're doing. this as well. am i i think i thought it was one show. we'll we'll have to figure that out. we'll call our agent he's uh. probably at brunch he's at torrey pines. right now oh yeah what watching us open. yeah you're so jealous. you just hear like it's very quiet on. the green and then you just hear him. with a potato chip.
and who are they they're all there like. brooks captain all the way there. yeah brooks bubba what's up here in the. green. and we're just we're just waiting. start asian eating chicago illinois the. 24th. through the 28th we're trying to open. that up too lori lightfoot to menace. grab tickets to that thursday september. baltimore. the 23rd to the 25th milwaukee october. 7th through the 9th and then we got. other stuff as well.
that we're taking a little sabbatical i. think and. then we're gonna start our move back to. the. what is california called the sunshine. the golden state the golden state. yeah and then uh caroline's did it sell. out completely i believe caroline just. sold out. also i'll be at joe rogan's comedy. extravaganza the club. in austin joe rogan's comedy hut it is. me the lineup is sick it's me. brody stevens gary chandling. joan rivers it is an insane and bob.
schimmel. so it's robert schimmel gary shandling. joan rivers brody stevens and tim dillon. at uh joe rogan's comedy hut in austin. now. let's and you know i have not spoken to. my father in. almost three months so for father's day. i thought it'd be very nice. to call my father on the show. let's give him a ring and we'll see what. happens. i'm not spoken to my dad in two months. it's almost three.
hey slot oh my god you caught me at the. weirdest time. oh my god my slave is here and he's like. with the scripts and he's being. dominatrix it's insane hold on one. second. oh my god he wants me to sit on this. nutribullet. oh my god hi. hi dad happy father's day how are you. hey flop so i'm doing pretty bad i'm.
just stuck here with my slave and he's. flipped the script and he's seeing my. dominatrix. it's insane so i don't understand so. he you usually dominate him oh my god. yes he's tired of the slave he's being. [ __ ] crazy right now. oh my god he wants me to sit on this. nutribullet again. you think i should do it should i do.
oh my god by the way how's school hold. on one second. i sit down oh my god oh my god jimmy i'm. so scared. it's the big cup okay hold on. yes oh my god. oh jesus christ it smells like alyssa. milano's [ __ ] in here. oh my god it's fun though thank you so. much for calling i mean. how are you it's good is this safe is. everything you're doing safe. oh my god please don't worry this.
happens all the time here. holy [ __ ] [ __ ] he just hit me in the. [ __ ] with a pan. oh my god this is crazy. this is like a service that you you have. come to your home. oh my god yes listen enough about me how. are you how's austin do you like it i. i'm. you know it's an adjustment i think i'm. going back to la i think it's more my. screen. beautiful what are you saying it's. beautiful and austin and the talent. there oh my god. timothy stay give it a chance i i don't.
think i can. i am not putting that down the garbage. compactor oh my god. timothy is this a bad time no no. why don't i call you back it's a great. it's a great time uh i just want to wish. you every father you know we hadn't. talked in a while i wanted to make sure. that everything was okay. yeah this i'm is sitting on that.
oh my god timothy it's your high school. trophy i. cherished that no let's sit on it is. this okay timothy. yes if if you have to do it you can do. it we've got to lube it up i have to. he's. he's in charge i'm supposed to charge up. and saying. oh my god you did so good on the soccer. tournament. okay i've got the head i'm down. by the waist oh timothy i'm so sorry i. know you love this.
we'll clean it up yeah oh god well. i'm glad you're having a good weekend. thank you so much for calling it's so. sweet. and i hope you and you know this power. dynamic between. you and the dominatrix i hope you guys. figure that out. oh my god i hope it flips up some points. oh god thank you so much for calling and. thank you for the flowers it's so sweet. yes well well you're you're i appreciate. it and give them to your wife.
oh my god i have to go timothy but god. bless you for calling yes thank you. happy father's day. sweetheart good luck at school thank you. that is. my father um. um he seems well. he seems like he's doing it he's doing. the right thing and. you know um. you know hey.
just happy that he's doing well yeah he. seems good. he's very good okay well happy father's. day to everyone out there and i hope. your dad is. having as much fun as mine.
