#243 - Best of Patreon Vol. 2 | The Tim Dillon Show
ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim. dillon show special treat. for everybody this uh week we have a. best of patreon we're opening the vault. and taking select rants from our. patreon episodes like uh uh uh. made i want to fly a plane to the. capitol and. many other of our hits and we're doing. that because last night. we went out to dinner with rogan and i. was plied with pasta. against my will and bone marrow and. garlic bread and porterhouses and.
and and and chocolate cakes and donuts. cream-filled doughnuts and i i just woke. up today and i'm like. ugh and i uh a red ash restaurant. in [ __ ] uh austin killer killer food. and i i just tossed and turned all night. because i'm i usually eat really really. healthy. and joe does not and this is a problem. and i get on him all the time about his. diet like. you gotta you gotta cut the carbs get. the sugar do the more of the but. you know you can't reason with them but.
so we had a real. uh meal and a half last night so i just. can't there's not a full show in me. right now. um things are still gurgling and. whatever. so what i'm going to do is uh we're. going to open the vault and release. some of the great uh patreon stuff that. we've had and. uh where we talk about ben's upcoming. wedding. we talk about uh lots of different. things ben always selects these. rants from the patreons we haven't done. this in about a year.
about a year and again you don't have to. join the pic this isn't like a come join. the page yeah yeah. it is fun um uh but. it's it's just good content to put out. there for for everybody that you like it. i mean there's there's. there's no agenda here you know what i. mean we're really not even. in the comedy game right now we're in. the vc game. um because you don't have to be a. venture capitalist. all you have to kind of be is a. schizophrenic and my mother is a.
schizophrenic which means i have just a. certain amount of latent schizophrenia. which is that's that's like somebody. said to me to your damn like yeah rogan. and those guys they have money ron white. they have money but i have real money. now what real money means is my money. it's there's no. cap to it because it's in my head so. guys like ron wyatt or jeff donahue. their money's in the bank or in. investments and there's an end to it. mine there's no end because it's a. creation of my own. it's synapses firing in my head that. aren't linking up with other synapses so.
i have as much money as i want to have. this is the era of fake business i go on. clubhouse everybody on clubhouse is very. successful and they spend 19 hours a day. on clubhouse telling you. all the interesting projects they're. working on they apparently don't have to. actually ever work on any of those. projects because they're. on that app uh so we're in the vc world. so it's not even we're not even. really trying to you know. do comedy anymore we're just looking to. to work with founders who are the.
founders of the company i want to know. who the founders are what's the. monetization. strategy and who are the founders. where are the founders and what is their. strategy. and am i gonna put my war chest. of a zillion dollars again. in here everything's money so. you know what you're looking at that's. an nft right there that sign. that's a million dollars that sign so. what are we talking about money means.
nothing. um so we're gonna do the best patriot. episode what did you think of that. restaurant last night. it was amazing it was really good i was. really impressed. i was truly impr i'm i'm i'm a little. bit of a. i know what i'm talking about and i'm. telling you right now in terms of time. food they kicked. [ __ ] ass last night and i was. shocked at how good it was i was ready. to like. say hey [ __ ] this but i was really. uh impressed by the quality of that.
one woman was throwing ravioli at the. table to get rogan's attention. i thought it was antifa but it was just. a woman. who i think it's like auntie is. attacking him with carbs which is really. that's what you would do to weaken him. if you wanted to weaken him you would. you would tempt him you would throw. carbs at him but it was just a woman. that wanted to say hello. to him crazy we get recognized every now. and then but that guy is just getting. recognized all the time.
you know which is crazy because i feel. like we are more successful and more. famous. yeah i've always felt that way. i thought i was doing him a favor by. going on a show but apparently it really. is the other way around when you look at. the numbers. interesting um. and yeah it was fun and ron why came in. hinchcliffe and faheem and. uh you lex lex friedman was. there sitting next to me he's a very. interesting dinner companion.
he's like a brilliant child that someone. brought. to the dinner like kind of an awkward. brilliant child. like one of those children from like a i. don't know. like c.s lewis novel that just sits. there and he's like. hello he turned to me and he goes. do you think you have a serious movie in. you you guys that wallet trailer i liked. it but i didn't want the jokes. i wanted the darkness i'm like thank you. and didn't he have a bite of pasta too.
yeah. these people they always talk about keto. and then. you go out with them i'm the only one. that does keto i'm the only one that. actually does it. i'm the only one who works out i'm the. only one who knows about fighting. i'm the only one who knows about. robotics everybody else is kind of like. it's just they're just spinning a yarn. just me and the weinsteins we're the. only people who know. the deal in this world so if you're. gonna listen. listen to one of us brett eric or me.
you know were the three that have been. exiled from academia. because of because you told the truth so. so enjoy the best of patreon we have a. guy coming uh we have a meeting at 10. o'clock how do you feel like this will. go. it should be good i'm looking forward to. it yeah. meeting you ten o'clock. uh timbercomedy.com all the live shows.
me and dan are on the road um. and uh that should be a lot of fun. getting in little skirmishes here and. there. uh and uh. it should be enjoyable for you guys to. come out and see. what we've got happening um thanks to. everyone that's bought tickets and come. to the shows we've had a great time we. had a nurse get angry at me. uh in pennsylvania when i was performing. a tent a nurse got can you imagine these.
nurses. uh she she took a night off the plague. to come to a comedy show. and then she got angry at me because i. dared to make a. joke about nurses and she didn't. understand that jokes were not serious. they were absurd things that are said. uh to make fun to make fun you know. um that's a stand-up thing i think. recently talks about he's like why would. you make fun like stand up he. has a whole thing where he's like hey. you make fun it's like we're making fun.
so she got angry she was sitting in the. front row with her face all stern and. she was like i'm a nurse and people are. dying. imagine imagine having a. job where you describe. the literal fundamentals of the job. as something that is completely alien to. you. i'm an air traffic controller and. there's so many planes. trying to land at once.
it's it's almost like my entire job. is predicated on that fact that planes. are trying to. but can you imagine that they're the. planes. not one not a hundred i mean thousands. of these things. in the air at once trying to land. on four runway i mean. who knew who knew when i took this job. that uh planes would land who knew.
we got a nurse that's uh going by people. are dying and wait. you're a nurse right. that's what you do is that what you do. i know it's sad that people are dying. and i tried to explain. that to her maybe we should throw in the. thing now. the video yeah yeah i'll put it up right. here we'll put the video up and here's.
the video of what happened. a little angry i'm sorry you see i'm. very there's a couple here you seem very. yes you you seem very you were dragged. here i got it you were dragged you were. dragged a little better. you're slightly disappointed what is it. some of the language. you're a nurse. well so here's here's the question. here's the question. why aren't you at work i mean that's not. being very legitimate.
okay well let me ask you when you when. you signed up to be a nurse. did you understand that at one time. people might get sick. like i understand as a comedian that. when i say things people can get mad at. me even though they're jokes i. understand. that in the same way that you would. understand people would get sick. right right.
i know and it's very very sad but. there's all i'm i'm making jokes and. there's a lot of people that have been. dying there's people dying because their. businesses are closed. there's people dying because they they. can't make any money there's people. dying because they. they're suffering from drug and alcohol. addiction there's people dying because. they're alienated. from their communities there's people. dying because this government that shut. everything down is not giving them. checks. and i know that's not your fault i know. that's not your fault. but i've made fun of all of that tonight. i've made fun of all of that tonight. it's not just about you.
i've made fun of everything that's. [ __ ] up that's happening truly. i made fun of everything i made fun of. everything. everything including myself i made fun. of everybody. you know and listen if i collapse up. here i want you to remember these are. jokes. so if i collapse come up here and be a. hero. but i don't want you to be offended. these are jokes you have to understand. that jokes are. to say ridiculous things so that people. can laugh at it nobody. thinks nobody's ungrateful for what.
nurses do but these are jokes if they. were serious they wouldn't be funny. do you see what i mean like if i was. making serious statements no one would. laugh but because they are absurd. because they are ridiculous they are. jokes that's what it is. and i know that people don't understand. jokes anymore. people don't understand jokes but that. that's what they are they're just jokes. they're not meant to be hurtful they're. not meant to be rude. you know and i understand that you're. probably offended and there is an.
internet. and you can go to it and write a lot of. mean things about the many have before. and they will again and that's okay but. i'm sorry that you're offended but these. are literally just jokes. they're just jokes okay. that's really what it is they're jokes. they're jokes you know except the part. about the nurses. i'm serious about that my name is tim. miller thank you very much everybody. thank you good morning all right so you.
saw that video. and uh now enjoy the best of our. uh tim miller patreon we're back in the. studio next week where i don't even know. i might be in florida. i don't know i might have to fly you. down to florida you people don't care. where the show's from. who gives a [ __ ] spent all kinds of. money on this we never see it. put it on a sweatshirt it's an nft but. uh we might have to do it from the beach. and fly i need to go somewhere where.
there's a beach. and i need to swim in the ocean i don't. know if i'll be able to swim in the. ocean. uh go to the temperature right now the. water in uh. florida tampa i need to go swim in the. ocean. i i really am uh. right now looking at 69. i can swim in that right yeah you could. do that right. that's a little cool but it's not. horrible. i might have to just swim in the ocean.
down to tampa for a few days after i get. done with houston. and then i'll be back and i have a show. in austin at the paramount i don't know. how many tickets are left i don't know. if there's any tickets left but what's. happening now with all these shows. is the clubs are opening up at higher. capacities so. check even if they've been sold out. check a lot of these dates i have coming. up in denver and miami and places like. that because. what we're seeing happen is more tickets. are added because. we are at now a higher capacity than we. would have been. now the patreon is not video okay.
so we know that i know that so much of. the humor. is in the way he most says it in the. moves in the hands. calm down a lot of the humor is just in. the. what's being said so enjoy that you know. you could google image me and put a. photo of me in the google image game and. put photos of us up. if you are upset that. you cannot see us but i love the patreon. episodes i love audio only i mean i love.
the. obviously doing the video too but i grew. up with uh you know audio only that's. kind of the way i. uh the ads will be video if you want to. stick around hey the ads are video. isn't that nice all right without. further ado. patreon devin costa and ida are with me. he's a very attractive girlfriend. they've been car shopping with me we're. attractive i know women don't want to. hear that anymore. they want to hear that you're i love. hearing it yeah i know everybody ever.
all the women want to hear now that. they're going to be margaret thatcher or. something. but and i don't even mean politically i. just mean that they're all going to be. accomplished but. it's nice to be hot trust it's a nice. thing to be. attractive i don't know when i don't. know how that got flipped. somehow that that's actually not good or. someone shouldn't notice that. don't notice me being attractive. um they've been out here car shopping. with me in the desert. for the past few days how many. dealerships would go to yesterday like. seven. i think seven yeah yeah and and and and.
we went to beamer and mercedes and range. rover we just go to all these. dealerships and i don't really know what. car i'm gonna get i wanna get a lease. and. i don't wanna spend that much money but. i just. am addicted now to car sales people. i can't quit them i want them. all the time yeah because it's so. it's such a weird sale you walk on the. lot. it's like anything else they got to be. your best friend within a minute.
they got to be they got to turn it on. and some of them do and some of them. don't some of them just really don't. no the range rover people the range. rover people. act like you're doing the wrong thing. they act like they're doing you a favor. and now i'm trying to get a range rover. and i have no credit. and it's a whole problem and this this. desperate. [ __ ] who's trying to sell me the car. first of all i took a road test today. think about this. i went i looked at a range rover i don't.
have a license. i the guy the guy thinks he's selling me. the car. i got to tell him afterwards i don't. have a license i don't have a license. so i got to take a road you know this. guy called his wife he's like i got. i got a good prospect he's interested. his friends are here they love the car. and you know he went and told the sales. manager he's like hey bob bob. bob and he's like alan what alan what. i can't take any more money off he's. like no no bob i got a guy. i got a prospect he's just got to take.
his driver's test you go. you get the [ __ ] out of the office you. [ __ ] [ __ ]. he's just got to take a road test. tomorrow that's it but he's good. bobby loves the car bob i did good. alan why don't you go home and cry to. your wife you know he went home and he. sat with his wife. and his wife's like so you think that. you're gonna get any of these off the. lot and he's like i got a guy. i got a guy and then he's like but he's. taking a road test. tomorrow morning and she goes she.
probably just looked at him and goes. jesus christ alan. jesus so now [ __ ] alan looks like. he's gonna kill himself. so yeah so alan looks like he's gonna. he's gonna kill himself. so we go into because i'm too fat for. every other car i've sat like nine of. these cars. they're like wedging me in with plungers. it's crazy. how small these cart they're all for. europeans. they're all for europe this is the. fattest country in the world. and very little is made for fat people.
on the in the high end it's like. or even the mid-end this is not really. that high-end it's whatever but. it says it like rolls royce or whatever. but it's like a nicer car. and a bmw it you have to buy the sedan. like i can't fit in anything but the old. dentist. sedan which i don't want it's the only. thing i fit in. i can't fit in anything else imagine me. and ray kump. in like a a mid-sized bmw i mean it. would be. absurd you have to call the fight you'd. have to get the jaws of life.
to get ray out just to if we went. somewhere for lunch. listen get call the fire department. i want a taquito so alan. i'm like all right we're gonna do it. we're gonna get the [ __ ] car. and ellen first of all. alan you know he's in trouble for this. he puts. sold and my name on the car. i don't have a license and my credit i. have one credit card for 800.
allen puts sold on the car. you know he's being reamed out for that. like they take him in the bag to go. you're coming before you're even inside. of her. you got this guy's name on the car this. fat [ __ ] doesn't have a license. and he has no credit he's talking about. patreon and ad revenue and. that he just sold out some shows in. dallas what are we doing here alan. alan we're trying to deal with real rich. people.
and i'm [ __ ] so he puts sold on it. we go back like you know i give him all. the credit information. and then you know here's the way i live. i just give him the information. and i go and have a butt and i know. what's coming next. like i know it's coming next and by the. way it ain't the keys. it ain't the keys this ain't a rap video. nobody's throwing the keys like hey. partner drive it off. i know it's coming next and it's a lot. of pain.
so alan comes out and goes hey you've. never had car credit i said yeah. the last car that i had i bought cash i. spent ten thousand dollars in 2007. on a on a uh uh uh. uh a 1999 chevy suburban the one from. patriot games or clear and present. danger. the i called it the executive vehicle. it's the one that harrison ford drove. a woman named gloria at suzuki 112 and. patchogue. sold me it somehow somehow.
oh they i think i got a loan for that. they got me loan for that one i think. that was repossessed. okay but i don't want to go into that. but that was repossessed because. i remember the towing company called me. and they go it's gonna cost. you have so many liens you have so many. problems so many tickets you're gonna. have to pay. a certain amount of money to get this. out of hawk and i went congratulations. and i said what i said on the purchase. of your new suburban. and i hung up the phone and then i just.
didn't have a car. for 11 years. for 11 years hey. so the problemo is that uh so then alan. walks out. allen at this point looks like. his son was just killed in iraq. he's going hey uh we got he goes. so then the manager comes out the sales.
manager comes out he goes. all right he goes he goes i just did a. deal for a russian gangster who just. like he. he just paid all the lease payments up. front i go well that's not going to. happen so. how about we let's pretend we're dealing. with a non-russian non-gangster. how would we do that like he's trying to. be cool all these car guys trying to be. cool yeah how'd you do to deal with a. russian gangster. and he just sold the house for 28. million dollar and i'm like. hey hey hey none of that calm that the. [ __ ] down. take that testosterone down put a finger.
in your ass. stimulate your prostate and get in touch. with your femininity. because none of that hardcock [ __ ] is. gonna happen right now i don't know what. movie you saw. where you think i'm gonna throw a bag of. money at you and drive like what are you. you know. you better let your wife [ __ ] you. tonight you understand. alan you're getting [ __ ] tonight tell. her to put on your strap on. tell you're trying something different. say i want to get. [ __ ] and come from my prostate tonight.
honey. so i can better understand how to put. together this deal so the sales manager. there goes hey i'm going to work real. hard on this and hire me for my good. looks and i'm like they didn't hire me. for my good luck. and allen goes you didn't hire me i know. we just both look at him like you shut. the [ __ ] up. you [ __ ] [ __ ] you [ __ ] this whole. thing up. i shouldn't even be here. so now chase is land rover financial is. like run their bank is chase.
so he goes well you have an account at. chase so this should be easy i'm like. i actually think it'll be much harder i. would prefer the bank to never have met. me. i have no idea who i am what my spending. habits are. or that i even exist so then alan's. trying to get the deal. my business manager god love him you. know he tries. he really does try and you know he's. this is not. this is not uh this is not a shark. right but he's also representing me he.
doesn't have a lot to work with right. so he's calling these it's three it's. it's it's defeats the hopeless here. i mean oh it's just a bunch of hopeless. people the three stooges it's the three. stooges. on a conference call trying to put. together this deal and all that but i'm. into it now i'm like feeling it i. remember. because this is the mortgage days i used. to go and go listen man i got a real. good like i remember i was trying to. howie who i talk about a lot. howie was uh one of the most cutthroat.
and cutthroat meaning. dishonest and immoral people i'd ever. met but he was also very bad at sales. and didn't know anything about the. products. was completely uneducated but only. succeeded by his. his um ability to lie. in circles like if you ever met somebody. who lies in circles. to the point where you have now bought. into some of their lives. and you have to help make some of their. lives true unless. you're a liar it's actually a great. strategy. if you lie so much and get people to.
believe it. they are now invest they're like well i. can't go down with the ship. we gotta write somehow right this wrong. figure it out how he used to do that all. the time. right so how he how he used to try to. refinance these homes. they were called modular homes in like. south carolina because you would call up. these. retards and no offense if you live over. there but not everyone there's a bright. we would call up these people and they. they own modular homes which means it. was driven down the highway on a flatbed.
truck. and put in the dirt yeah now modular has. a foundation it has a concrete slab. as a foundation so now howie would also. just try to refinance double wides. that could be driven away and the bank. doesn't want to lend a double wise. because you could just say hey. later hey this didn't work out i'm out. of here so how we would then lie and say. it's a modular. and it's clearly a double wide and then. how we would then claim the borrower. lied to him.
and then the sales manager so he'd go in. he'd go to the office he'd go listen he. goes i got a good one. it's a modular it's on a foundation i've. done all the homework don't worry about. it it's all fine and then they would. find out they'd send the appraiser out. your praise will go this is double wide. and how we go this is not a [ __ ]. double wide. i i'm telling you these people are. honest. and then the people don't even know what. they live in like the people don't know. what they live in right they don't know. the difference. they have no idea they're more honest. than he is. so like and i used to go in with deals.
that. could never get done i would walk in you. know with some shitty deal and i'd be. like hey man listen. you know they they want a half a million. dollars but they've paid back. they have a kmart card that they've paid. back. and it's got 1200 on it and they they've. they've paid that back every month and. they'd go the. the sales manager go all right we'll try. to get it done man but this. is not this is nothing this is literally.
nothing. so that's what alan is that's what. alan's doing he's like this guy's a. comedian he's on the joe rogan show and. they're going. alan i swear to christ if you don't. bring it real. if you don't bring a real buyer in here. i. swear to christ alan we're gonna put you. on the street. and he's like no no no this guy's in a. joe rogan show this guy's a comedian. he's. funny and they go alan i swear to god. this is the third god only knows who. walked in there before me like who he. walked in before me.
you know and so this poor guy is trying. i mean we're trying. to put this together and we're going to. find out tomorrow you know at the end of. the day like. he looked into the expedition like ali. looked at me looked at you guys and goes. i can't tell you we're gonna get this. done. and this is not even fake business i. want the goddamn car. he goes yeah i'm not going to tell you. we're going to get this done he's like. but we're going to try we're staying. extra late tonight when the banks open. up tomorrow. that's fun because the by the way the. banks aren't even involved yet.
the bank think of all the problems we've. had. the banks aren't even in it. yet they get in it tomorrow like they're. probably talking to like some. underwriter or some processor and. they're like hey. got a guy he's got the money his credit. sucks he wants a lease. you write it off whatever but i feel bad. for allen i hope this comes through. because of alan. i hate allen why do you not like allen. allen sucks. he should have he he was not a good car.
salesman he was the first place we went. to. he did nothing he comes out he's already. out of breath the second he walks and. sees you for the first time. right doesn't offer you anything nothing. and what you know you ida loves a. cappuccino she wants to really get. we're in a luxury car dealership yeah. devin made a good point he's like he's. like what what do these people lose by. putting in a [ __ ] coffee machine. yeah i mean navigator gave you a. cappuccino the people they did. people are linking navigation much nicer. couches but then you made a great point. too about how. when when you have a certain level of.
money you don't need any of the [ __ ]. the guy looks at me at navigator he. looks at me the guy goes they call it. the land yacht. i wanted to turn around and look at him. and go i have covent. everyone you guys they call it the land. yacht i want to look at him and go. hey man i just tested pasta. for coronavirus. nobody at lincoln wanted to show us the. cars they were just handing it off to. like. dude we called my aunts worked at like.
four car dealerships they were all fired. she didn't know anything i'm like tell. me what kind of car to get she goes. she goes i don't know about bmw she goes. what's the middle one. i'm like do you know anything about your. business do you know. i said it's the five series do you know. anything about your business. she goes yeah she goes well they fired. me at mercedes. she goes they're good cars but they. fired me and now she's working for. jaguar and she goes they're gonna fire. me too. they just fire her because she doesn't. know anything about the cars yeah.
she like doesn't know none of these card. and then there's a sad little guy in. bentley. this sad little british guy is like. hello mr dylan. and i'm like i'm giving him the number i. can pay every month he's like we can't. mr dylan. there's no way that's going to happen. i'm like i know but is there any way we. could just finagle it and he's like. mr dylan it's not going to happen it's a. different league he keeps telling me. it's a different league it's bentley i'm. like yeah i know but and i know it's. completely unrealistic i'm not getting a. penny but i've been there like three. times in the past week.
so i'm like is your juicy anyway he's. like i'll lock you as a person. it's like i'll argue this is how crazy. it is. it's like i'll argue as a person but. he's like i can't he's just this little. emaciated. small guy they all sucked so much ass. i mean they all suck w was cool. he was cool he was cool because he's. like hey hey i got pulled over my. hellcat doing 100. he goes hey. he goes hey i had my kid in the car like. did none of them care about anything. just got my kid in the car the cops know.
who i am he said what are you doing i. said i'm trying to go home. doing 100. so what i said the bmw 7. series is big i'm like it's the only one. i fit in but people say it's. uh it makes me look too old you know if. you buy a car like that i mean you lease. a car like that he goes hey. [ __ ] him i bought a cadillac eldorado. and i was 24 years old. like all right tony well that's he kept. telling us to take our masks off. he's like please take your mask dude. alan ben tell. us what alan said we're sitting in. allen's office. as she's putting together this doomed.
deal i don't know you guys. politics but uh you republicans are. democrats. because i listen to oann yeah and i go. they got they gotta suspend it on. youtube he goes yeah. because they tell like it is yeah by the. way they got a d platform for. i think pumping a fake coronavirus cure. they're selling an elixir like gypsies. outside of a tent carnival. and they got the platform for that so. that's where they're right he goes he. goes you watch one of them i thought it. was like a joke. like he's like you watch one america.
news network i'm like everyone's full. cue. yeah this is not [ __ ] here so i'm. trying to curry favor with him i go. i go hey um. todd just texted me from uh sherman oaks. bentley can't wait to meet you i'm like. i'm not coming in i can't afford i. cannot afford this car right. so then this guy goes you watch one. american news network and i just said. i've had candace owens on my show i. wanted to like try to curry some favor. like let's chop a little bit off the. price. we give candice a platform even though.
she's got three million views. uh three million subscribers dummy she's. platforming me i'm not platforming her. is anyone. think with their [ __ ] brain and she. gets more views on a [ __ ]. instagram live than my show whatever. whatever. so we tell him that he goes i've heard. the name candace although he doesn't. even know. like she's too mainstream for him he's. like no if it's not on. if it's not on oan which rogan called. the q a. network he's like if it's because a guy. like that comes home all day tired from.
not selling range rovers. and and needs to watch oann. to buy the fake coronavirus cure you. know he's ponied up some money for that. yeah folks sleeping is so important. helix sleep is the way you gotta go they. have a quiz takes two minutes to. complete matches your body type and. sleep preference to the perfect mattress. for you. everybody's unique and helix knows that. so they have several mattress models to. choose from they have soft medium and. firm. mattresses are great for cooling you. down if you sleep hot even a helix plus. mattress for plus size folks so if.
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title pod cancer. cancer this podcast is sponsored by. better help and tim dillon show. listeners get 10. off their first month at betterhelp.comd. 10. off your first month at betterhelp.com. tim d. some [ __ ] die dude my dad wants this. is going all over this episode. but my dad my friend melanie realized. this my stepmother almost died. she ate like chicken that almost killed. her i might when my dad re. told the story to me and my friend. melanie we're standing in the driveway. you could see the piece in his face was. so ready to not be married anymore.
and then he was like yeah and then our. neighbor saved her. but he said it was such regret he's like. your neighbor. saw her and saved her she you know but. my dad's like but we almost lost her she. could have been gone. and the the peace in his face when he. said she could have been gone. versus the horror of the neighbor. saving her i mean my my friend melanie. knows. i see if my friend melanie's awake she's.
probably not but. she knows it was better than anybody. my friend melanie was there for this. whole thing where my father was. literally like. oh my god because you know he was. married for his. most of his life and then he's got. divorce and he goes i'll get married. again. and then you start realizing halfway. through the second you go i don't what. am i doing. i could just be single what's going on. how are you. pretty good listen to me yeah.
what's up so you're on my podcast i. wanted you to tell the story real quick. if you can remember when my father. told us my stepmother almost died and he. was so happy. well there was some there was some guy. who saved her like he. i think his name was melodo or something. like that and i remember your fault like. so he's you know your brain your. stepmother is almost dead and. this guy named a lot of neighbors like. that came over and like saved your life.
and i remember your father. like gritted his teeth when he mentioned. this guy's name. he's like a demoloto came over and then. saved her and brought her. and brought it back and let me tell you. something bro. his teeth like gritted and it was like. you know i'll never forget your. stepmother man you can make a podcast. out of her. she's a real guy she's a cold [ __ ] not. because we're kind of trashed around. this episode because i've had about. enough for.
she said today i showed my father to. facetime in the house. you know she says she goes how did. somebody who never made any decision. any right decision in his whole life end. up there it's like shut up you [ __ ]. but remember the horrible dinner she. made for my birthday. remember that yeah that was yeah it was. like. it was like rolled cold cuts and [ __ ]. like that it was the worst. it was the most embarrassing just uh. like. display of food for any occasion ever. she's a horrible she was like isn't that.
good yeah i love deli food. during a celebration yeah we love we. love we love. ro thanks for the lunchables for. birthdays she's a disgusting person. i know right yeah october special i mean. she's. she's a repulsive witch i think. he's failing remember that with the dog. yes like your dog. your dog's dying like it's all you've. had for years. and and she said i think he's failing. and your dad was like. you're failing yeah yeah christina goes.
i think the dog is failing that's the. way she speaks to human beings. that's the way she talks about living. things she's very uncomfortable to me. she prefers death. like when my uncle carl had late stage. brain cancer. she went to the house to be around him. when he died because she prefers death. to life. in a house they got like huntington. yes the witness protection program yeah. it really was i mean. you know i mean your that's funny i. remember like.
somebody like you were like sorry you. were practicing like living on the. street. and he got you a coat because i got you. a coat son and it was that blue coat. with like. bird [ __ ] on it that he ripped off some. dark work or somewhere yeah he felt like. a haunt was it was a. coat that was literally from a homeless. shelter from goodwill. that had that had bird [ __ ] on it and he. gave it to me. this is his wife when she moved they got. married in 11th grade. i was in 11th grade and she tried to. convince him to take me on a catholic.
school there i. i was dragged to catholic school kicking. and screaming holy trinity. and then she goes take him out in his. senior year now by the way the school. that i would have gone to was lakeview. which is the school of. all gang members and then i went to. summer school there once there was this. italian woman miss ruizi. who used to take her tit out and. breastfeed her kid in the back of class. so that's where my stepmother wanted to. send me to school. to like gain the school from dangerous. minds.
and my grandfather had to step in and. pay the money so like. this woman was always like let's get rid. of your kid. so my name is cinderella she really is. like you know you could put a picture. actually i should go into the wikipedia. and upload a picture of her to. stepmother. and just like your average stepmother. face i mean. you know just laughs she basically. isolated. your dad from everybody who we cared. about it's very true. she took him away from his friends she. took him away from his friends. and so they moved into some little.
bungalow and now they're selling that. and they're moving to a bigger house up. the block. they're they're just in that era of life. where they're bored. and they need to shuffle things around. before the end. yeah no it's true baby boomers either. get around 70 they start to get bored. and they like to just buy stuff because. they have money. or they die that's that's really what. happens you're a student of the boomer. what is it about these long island. boomers they are fascinating people what. is it. what is it about them they they're. fascinating to me.
they literally get anything they wanted. they're used to it. they got everything they wanted i mean. trump's the last former president. that's true obama was a fake uber press. obama was more generation x even though. he was born in 61 but trump is the. perfect example of what happens when a. boomer. is president right that's what happens. folks you know. yeah but um which of them call it uh. i could go on and on about about. bloomers i mean. you know a high school diploma you own a. house like at the age of 20. you know.
what i mean. it's unbelievable and they're always. aggrieved they're always aggrieved like. when you speak to them they. act like they're nothing went right and. they suffered for. like i remember when my aunt was talking. about covered my aunt donna goes she. goes you know i just. i want everyone to stay inside and put. mask on she goes because you know what i. want to travel. because she goes i deserve it because. i've worked hard my whole life i'm like. and the way she said it then i realized. i'm like everyone's worked hard their.
whole life. yeah everybody's worked hard their whole. life you know not all of us get like a. new car when we're 18. right you know i mean my mother got a. new car when she was 18. she. by the way she worked at a place called. the farmers market and she managed to. save up enough money to buy a brand new. car machine ap. now i have never bought a brand new car. and i've. like worked like a slave my entire life. right. so my newest car i just bought my newest. car from 1995. the truck it's like all rusty what'd you. get so. it oh i had to get a pickup truck cause.
i'm like. i'm almost full of hillbilly at this. point i love it the gun rack in the back. window is the next thing. you better get you better get the guns. man we better all get the guns because. [ __ ]. i'll tell you right now biden and kamala. man i don't know what they're going to. do but i i'd feel a lot better with an. arsenal. uh yeah actually which of the call well. you wanted this to be funny is that all. the gun stocks like. smith and west and everything like that. took a dive after buying one because. because people were like all right well. we only have to get like military gear.
to deal with ryan. i don't know if you noticed all the. rides that disappeared all of a sudden. you know i see a lot of republicans you. know you don't see a lot of. republicans fighting uh or anything like. that yeah. brian and i just you know they gave him. a softball interview today i i'm. constantly watching him waiting in the. gap or something like that. it'll be fun uh you know what. because you'll go back to sleep and. that'd be good yeah i mean i agree with. you there. i think it's very impossible the country. just goes back to sleep but i think this. is what these people want.
when you see them all out cheering and. dancing and stuff even though. supposedly according to them there's a. huge pandemic that's killing everyone. and then they go right back out to. dancing in the street that's like oh. are you people on crack i mean what was. the last time you danced in the street. about. anything never never melody. maybe maybe scoring drugs and stuff like. that back in the day after waiting in my. car for an hour. yes. deeply childish country how.
childish forget it i know right. it's what like one old a 78 year old man. wins the presidency. and everybody's in the street dancing. sneezing on each other you know. the disease and everything like that. it's like go in your [ __ ] houses my. friends. yeah go in your houses and celebrate in. shame like all of us should. right there's no more shame anymore. there's no more. you know nobody has any shame. everybody's addicted to having. friends and all these disgusting.
it's disgusting if i see somebody over. the age of 30. and they have 20 friends i go that. person is severely mentally. if you're more than five friends over. the age of 30 you're severely mentally. ill. totally and it's because they were. always bullied when i was a kid i didn't. have any friends i'm like. who was it you know what i mean yeah who. didn't get a wedgie when they were like. 10. right by like some teenagers i mean i'm. a teenager one time just decided robert. he grabbed me and my brother we put it. to the trunk of his car.
he drove around in the freezing weather. for like an hour. and he dropped us off in a place we had. no idea where we were it was like a kid. it's technically with the kidnapping. and uh this guy this guy later died at 9. 11. i'm not kidding he's got a 911.
well you get what you give. melanie angler i you are the best do you. want people to follow you on social. media i always give people you're a. human being so. i always give people the choice tell. people where they can follow you. instagram melody english yeah now i need. to uh. underscore english underscore yeah. that's about it. y-e-a-h yeah.
i mean i'm into a podcast right now i. don't even want to talk too much about. it. but i'm into this podcast i got to talk. a little bit about i know we've just. been avoiding talking about i know. i know but it's like here's the thing i. get into like i don't get into a lot of. content out there. but there's a podcast that has no views. if you go to youtube it has one view. two views i'm the only one i feel. special i'm the only. i'm the only one consuming this content. and it's a guy who's like 500 pounds who. does a weight loss podcast. out of long island he's like a comedian. in every episode as he just.
talks about what he ate literally and he. just goes yeah. i stayed on my plan today i stayed on my. points i. uh you know you know today i had an. omelette and. i could do an away in tomorrow and it's. not funny at all like he's a. really fat guy and he does a weight loss. podcast you think there'd be a lot of. opportunity there for. you know levity you know comedic you. know. nothing i mean just nothing just dry. just kind of like he's talking to a. friend like and then he goes.
every now and then he's like hey the. live podcast is postponed due to corona. and i'm like. the live podcast you're gonna do this. live like you're gonna sit there. live and tell people about your weigh-in. it's like the craziest. it's the craziest thing and i knew this. guy a little bit like he wasn't a nice. guy so i don't really care. but i'm also like if you stumble upon. what this podcast is. don't [ __ ] on the guy or whatever this.
is just what he does i'm not [ __ ] on. him. it's just fascinating to me that. someone it just does and i'm a fat guy. like i get wanting to lose weight. and if i you know when i try to lose. weight i talk about it but like. this guy just it's every episode it's. very dry. there's no humor and he just like he had. one guy. on he had one guy on. you got to play that ben can we find a. way to play that. well then they'll be able to find it i. don't think we should play sounded.
anyway but. so he has one guy on who's like a health. no by the way he. brings up like a health food guy like a. natural food chef this guy's 500 pounds. can we stop with the natural foods like. just. just like don't let the perfect become. the enemy of the good here. okay so he has this natural food chef on. and he goes hey man so what started. eating healthy this guy launches into a. 10-minute tirade this natural food shaft. about that he used to [ __ ] 50 times a. day and he had crohn's. and he's his skin was bad and he had.
rashes. and his friends were dying his friend. died of stomach cancer at 40. and the other guy doesn't and then he. and the natural food chef goes. listen man you know i used to eat and. then this the guy is hosting the podcast. says nothing. he says nothing he's just going through. tragedy after tragedy. like i've never heard it and the host of. the podcast doesn't say anything until. the guy goes you know and i used to eat. like [ __ ] you know i like doughnuts and. maple bars and those of the podcast goes. who doesn't that's all they say goes who.
doesn't. this guy has just detailed one of the. craziest things i've ever heard just. everyone he knew died. he just he like he was failing at a. school because he just kept [ __ ]. and apparently it was because of his. diet and this guy hosting the podcast is. just like not even. aware of what's even happened like it's. just cut i. can't list anything even remotely good. so like when people ask me like what do. you listen to i try to find like the.
worst. things to enjoy like the word like to. understand like. i need to be constantly befuddled like. if i understand something i'm almost out. immediately like i get it. right like i'll enjoy it but like i'm. not i'm not a freak like i like funny. [ __ ] right. but i am a freak because like i i. salivate when there's a new episode of. this podcast i'm like this is my podcast. and literally if you look at the views. i'm the only one listening to it. i'm the only person really listening to.
this podcast in the continental united. states. and every now and then he'll come out. and he'll be like hey uh we're number. four in a health. and fitness podcast in cameroon so i. want to thank everyone in cameroon. i'm like cameroon like it's it's so. crazy. it's gonna be all over the reddit i. don't know what to do i mean whatever i. mean whatever happens i just. it's more viewers right than the guy. gets like is it is it. it's more listers than he would get it's. the more listeners that he would get. right. i just don't understand like i don't.
understand what he's doing and i listen. to it and i'm like is this a call to a. friend you should be having like. he's putting this out as a podcast it's. so. bad that it's i can't stop. it's so bad it's good like it's so. so bad like he'll be like yeah i can't. wait to go back to the regular weight. watchers meeting uh with sheila. sheila lost 50 pounds you worked real. hard sheila worked real hard. and i'm like why am why can i not.
stop listening to this why can i not. stop. he goes he says about thanksgiving he. goes you know some people make a plan. for thanksgiving he's like i'll tell you. what i do. i eat because i eat on thanksgiving i. make it a day. you guys say the family's there he. talked about. that he was too fat to watch his nephew. that he. and then he apparently people started. letting him watch his nephew so he's. like. i know i'm turning the corner and i'm. happy about that.
again you can't put this stuff out as a. comedian. and not expect people to have a reaction. to the like it's i'm happy he's now. watching his nephew. it's just a crazy thing to hear and i'm. happy he's losing weight like i'm not. hating on it. but when he's talking about being too. big. to watch your nephew and now he's like. now i can watch the nephew. because i've turned a corner and he's. lost like 200 pounds god bless him. he was always a dick to me and to.
everyone else when we did comedy. but i i still i i want no ill will i. want this show to like be bigger because. it's my favorite podcast. no it's truly my it's it's truly like. the only podcast i listen to a portion. of. every episode i've gone back to the. archive. i'm i'm i'm shocked by it it's shocking. and maybe it's like one of the greatest. things ever done. it's just there's never an attempt at. humor and it's just a serious solemn.
accounting. of his weak in losing weight and i'm. like there's. nothing even remotely funny about this. but yet. this is how cheap and hollow comedy is i. would so much rather go. see his live podcast than 99 of. anyone that i know to sit in a room and. hear him do that just sit on a stool and. be like. well today i was even on the scale again. and sometimes you go united way and. naked he goes maybe this is tmi.
but i weigh a nick and i'm like own it. don't tell people there's no such thing. as tmi it's. put it out there yeah but it's so. strange. i mean what are your impressions of it. you've you've heard it. it's so tragic i mean it's it's. it's tragic but listen my life is tragic. everything's trash i mean listen. my life is tragic not coming out of. clouds. i'm 25. i mean listen i have a rough. like i mean not. now because i'm making money and. everything and i get to do what i love. i'm not trying to get on the whole thing.
here. but like i don't see myself as less. tragic than him i mean i guess. whatever you now i am. but like i i i come from tragedy i come. from like. a sexless loveless life for the majority. of my life like. being ashamed of who i am and all this. stuff i mean i'm not trying to play the. fiddle here. but i'm not trying to shoot on someone. else and go your life is tragic. i mean i've listened to the pi it ain't. great. but that's his it is can you use a. different word than tragic.
uh uh it's like it's funny not everybody. gets to be a good-looking golfer and. falls in love with a chick in college. you know some of us have problems. it's like it's like when i listen to it. it's like. it's like funny to your bones like it's. the way he just. deadpan delivers like every m my. like just the minutia of his life from. every way it's either he doesn't know. what he's doing. or he's an underappreciated comic genius. in a way and i don't think it's choice b.
but i i don't know but i will tell you. this. i laugh on that show he's not trying to. make me laugh. but what he's saying sometimes is like. brutally funny it is. and i i think if he knew it was funny it. would ruin it yeah it would. he's like an andy kaufman type thing i. don't know what's going on. i just know i don't know if this means. anything to him i have an audience to. hundreds of thousands of people. and you you are my favorite podcaster. it's true though it's my favorite. podcast it's my favorite body i think.
it's very funny. there's a brilliance to it that i don't. know if he understands or that i'll ever. understand. he had his sister on and she goes. [Laughter]. with ben with there anyway he has his. sister-in-law and she goes. he goes you know i'm not really losing. she goes you're eating too much food he. goes you don't understand he starts to. get mad. again there's no comedic bone like he's. not going back at her in a funny way. she goes you're eating too much food and. he goes no you don't understand.
he goes a lot of those times i'm under. my points like on weight watchers have. the points he goes. you don't understand like uh. he goes a lot of those days when you. look at the points i'm actually under. eating. and she just shoots him a look she goes. you don't need the pancakes and the eggs. and. he goes but no no it's under my it's. under my points. and he goes i'm under eating he's. arguing with her that he's under eating. and he's like 400 pounds and she's. staring at him. and to me it's some of the greatest.
comedy i've ever. i've truly ever seen in my life yeah. like i've. never seen like you have a 500 pound guy. arguing that he's. under-eating dead face. straight face like not a skin till of. irony not a joke. not a moment of levity to be had and. he's getting mad and you can see it and. and and you feel the tension between. both of them. and to me i'm like there's this is real. this is funny. this is what i like.
you can wind up and throw all kinds of. jokes out i don't even [ __ ] right. but there's something about a big guy. yeah going you don't understand. i'm under eating that's the problem. if there's any problem instead i'm under. eating yeah it's like a christopher. guest. like sketch almost yeah yeah so i'm just. saying that's my favorite podcast do. that do it do with it when you will. so the king of comedy and that. those are my favorite podcasts.
i'm not attacking the guy i enjoy it i. just he's a. he's kind of a nasty guy he admits that. he's a nasty guy. he says i'm kind of a prick he's a prick. but i. like that he kind of owns that and i. think the show's actually. very strange so if you listen to this. you find out figure out what it is which. you all will in. 30 seconds probably. you're going to be like why does tim. like this but then maybe you just don't. understand the wavelength i'm on yeah.
because i think it's funny. i mean i just i think it's funny i was. just waiting for you to talk about it. i had to talk about it i'm making ben. listen to it now it's so good it's so. good. i mean no every week i want to know. about the after thanksgiving weigh-in. all he took by the way i don't think. he's mentioned the pandemic. the the race war the civil war the. economic collapse donald trump.
it's just weight loss. every week you would think that he would. just go like. hey those riots huh just an aside. but he never does he just stays. and he just does that stuff he goes you. know if you believe it it can happen he. goes you just gotta put in the work. and you gotta and it's like i don't know. man. every comedian is tragic right we're all. tragic that's the whole point. and then when the there's comedians that.
aren't tragic and they're you know. whatever it's like is that. i don't know that's never the comedy. i've enjoyed right doesn't mean like you. could see a really good looking comic. and you could be like. oh what is why does that guy have to be. funny that guy's got it all but then you. meet them and you go oh they're tragic. yeah they're like deeply tragic they. can't feel it's horror. so i'm not ever judging anyone. i guess i am a lot though. but what i'm saying is take this for.
what it is. understand what i'm saying here this is. my favorite podcast. i love it i love it. i'll be driving in the car and i'm. eating a flame fishing i wonder how many. points. this has and he just goes on he goes. yeah you know this week. i'm down .02 which i don't even know. what that means huh. some like fraction of a pound 0.02 okay.
it's like a fraction he goes but we're. still down. but i wanted more and next week i'm. gonna have more. but again nothing not like it would be. so easy to throw in a joke i think. that's what's interesting yeah. but he doesn't do it and i almost liked. it he died if he tried to be funny on. this thing i would hate it yeah. it would be like i can't even do it but. the fact that he's just. day in and day out just doing it. i i'm like i respect it i like like the.
show. i mean maybe he hears this or something. he thinks is like an attack it's not an. attack. i'm confused but i also enjoy it. and i think it's awesome he lost so much. weight i mean it's incredible. yes yeah it's a lot of weight i mean all. the disclaimers here that we can make. yeah. my point is that when i hear the show i. don't know what i'm listening to. but i can't stop listening now if that's. if that's bad you don't understand what.
good is. because if i'm not stopping listening i. was gonna buy one of the meal bars that. sponsors him. he's also sponsored by a deli i was. gonna go there but it's in new york. but my point is that if the test of. anything is just that i don't turn it. off. it's hard for me to turn off i don't. like when he has guests sometimes the. guests are really good. yeah but i like him solo yeah he's just. got to go solo yeah.
he's just got to do it solo. this is the type of these are the type. of podcasts i really enjoy like podcast. that shouldn't exist. and do because what a podcast is just. somebody with a mic going hey here it is. here it is now this is uh what we're. doing. i mean they're so bad dude so many. podcasts are so. bad i mean they're just bad because. these are the same people. that wouldn't know.
it's like there are people out there. that are really under the impression. they're attractive. and i guess that gets the mask because. people like confidence right. yeah but then there are the people that. are under the impression that they're. interesting. that gets you nowhere like if you if you. can't hold someone's interest with what. you're saying. and you think you can that just gets you. me. that just gets you me as a fan because i. want to like. just i i want to know why what this is.
because that to me is fascinating i like. authentic. and real and there's nothing more. authentic and real than this podcast. there's nothing in it that should happen. there's not one choice made that's the. correct choice. but here's the thing how many podcasts. fail miserably. making all of those right choices right. right. so no no comedic choices are made that. are correct. but that being said now we're getting.
into what makes it truly great. because it's. crazy it's not i couldn't even call it. bad. it's just i don't know why it exists. and i can't stop listening to it and i. don't want it to end. i want him to lose enough weight i guess. where he doesn't have to do anymore but. i can't not listen. to it because of the severity and the.
seriousness. and he's not like an unfunny guy like. he's not the funniest guy. like at all but. the choices he makes to not be funny at. all i think it's phenomenal. i think it's absolute i think it's kind. of brilliant. in a level that no one would appreciate. outside of me that's why i am the view. he puts in an episode it has one view i. am the view. every time i get mad when there's like. four views i'm like who are they. this is for me he refreshed it twice.
someone hit it by accident and then i'm. the view my average listen is the whole. episode. oh i do the whole episode sometimes i do. it in bits. you know i'll be rocking out in a car. and then i go let me give 50 minutes to. him. and then i go back to music and then i. go back to listening to something i did. to see if i could use the word um too. many times. and then i go back to him and he's. talking to somebody from his weight. watchers group. and i'm like like i don't know why.
maybe i i am a fat guy i get it i get. how hard it is to be able to be a fat i. mean. it's tough man it is hard to lose weight. it's difficult i'm trying i've been. trying i think if i really focus i could. pull off like 40 pounds. i'll never be thin there's a certain. time in your life. when the six-pack like you got to give. that up that people go. no you can still have hey shut up hey. hey hey. go preach that [ __ ] with gary vee i. don't have the time. i do real fake business but.
i i do want to survive i'm a godfather. to a kid now. you know and i mean dan but no i'm a. godfather to my friend's son. and my friend and his wife let's be. honest they're degenerates i'm gonna. have to raise that kid. i mean these two are like and i respect. them but they're. they're they're animals you know oh yeah. i mean they're. animals and i i want to survive because. i'm like. this kid i want to. i want to do the right thing and and be.
able to help the kid out or whatever and. like. she want to lose weight like i gotta get. healthier i gotta survive this covens. [ __ ] makes you think you're like yeah. man i gotta. i gotta pull together so as a fat guy i. know let me light a cigarette as i say. that i wanna survive. i just wanna throw me the lighter but as. a fat guy we're gonna go long here we're. gonna go a few minutes longer folks. i'm sorry we're just gonna have to do a. little longer for your five dollars or. twenty dollars for the rothschilds.
remember that daily show [ __ ] jenna. friedman was like ah it's anti-semitic. do you have a rothschilds here like. [ __ ] will you shut up. she said that she made some allusion to. it on twitter i'm like [ __ ] no one. thinks that all jews are the rothschilds. jenna that's absurd okay. that's like thinking all comedians are. you. as i like my marble light which i think. is not bad for you. but i do and and please don't i don't. patreon on my phone so i don't really. know what your comments are i can't. because i'll fight with you people all.
day. i can't be involved and i won't get. anything done it's not even that i don't. feel that you're worthy of fighting i. just can't i won't get anything done. it's why i don't go on things. i just won't get anything done and i'll. just end up. fighting with everybody all day that's. like well why didn't you say this i'm. like. i did listen to this like. and at a certain point but i've hired a. trainer. who's dead of covert.
up now that is sad. no but i i'm trying to get it together. so as a fat guy when i listen to this. podcast. i get it i get the the yo-yoing and the. [ __ ] and it going up and down you do. keto you lose dirty. you look a little better you start going. at the ego let me get a handful of. calamari and i look good. you could hook up with an attractive. person if i hook up with an attractive.
print the day after i hook up with them. i eat like you have no idea. i mean i just go okay i got that in. now let's really kill like abuse myself. and i just eat. like you know bad so i know what that. feels like because you can't get rid of. food you can get rid of drugs i got rid. of drugs and alcohol. so like. but it's just so funny to do it the way. he does it. was like deadly serious i like it so. much better.
god don't ruin it with jokes don't ruin. it with jokes. and listen if i'm the only fan let me be. the only fan. it's a better fan than so many don't. have 2. 000 fans that are nobodies i am a big. podcaster and i'm telling you right now. this is my [ __ ] that's my show that. podcast is my show. when he comes on and he starts talking. and he's got a guest on talking about. somebody's [ __ ] bled and some guy's.
bleeding out of his [ __ ] all day and. that's why i decided to stop eating. doritos. that's my show cause it's so crazy. like but she said neil had a good point. once he's like it's funny to say i'm. dying from sugar. yeah it's like funny you know. but it truly is one of those things. where it's like people struggle with. their weight their entire life and then. my mother was overweight people don't. understand what it's like to struggle. with your weight go back and forth you. you were a little chubby when you were. boozing but you you 235. my biggest yeah when i cut the booze.
though i lost like 30 pounds yeah. yeah but that. is that's big 235 is pretty big for you. yeah because i'm 180 now. 185 yeah so yeah. but i think my biggest i was like 340. 330. i was big. i was big and it's like it really is. tough. when you are somebody that just goes. back and forth but i listen to this. podcast and i'm like. there's just nothing better out right.
now. there's just nothing better when he goes. because thanksgiving he goes i eat. he goes thanksgiving he goes i eat i. make a day of it. with the family i get there early. they're cooking. and i eat it just it takes over your. life. so that's why i stopped going to aaa and. i'm not telling anyone to stop going aa. by the way if you go to a. but i went to a for a while but i also. got to a point where i go. do i want to sit in a room and talk.
about booze for the next 40 years. the answer is no by the way that's not. what aa is and i'm not trying to. delegitimize a.a because i think it's. great in the beginning and. for many people throughout their entire. life it would not hurt me to go back to. meeting at all. ever um it's good but. you know i got to a point with it where. i went. you know aa's got a five percent rate of. success meaning that i think five. percent of people stay in it i think. it's got a much higher rate of success. when you look at. how many people have utilized important.
skill sets. uh an important skill set or a knowledge. base from that about themselves. and then they just move on and it. doesn't mean that there means you can. move on. you don't have to you know but i moved. on because i'm like i don't need and. that doesn't mean if you're in month two. is sobriety it's time for you to move on. don't listen to this podcast but. it's time for me to move on um. but i got to a point where i go didn't. you go to an a meeting once you're like. it's super depressing. well it reminded me of uh church. everyone had the crosses and the praying.
and i did that for 21 years it just. right yeah it was upsetting yeah it's. really upsetting. here's the thing about an aaa meeting. when you go to one you better make sure. you're done drinking because drinking. won't be fun. it'll ruin drinking for you if you're. just a casual drinker this may be. drinking a little too much. don't go to an a meeting if you're an. alcoholic like i am and like ben is. you know it's good to see you can't ever. drink again no. no never no no and at the aaa meeting. you know i saw. people that got sober really late after. they've lost everything they're like i.
lost my house. yes family and it's like jesus christ. it's. it's heavy it's really it's heavy. they've lost it all but it's still good. to be sober. yeah those people dying sober is a gift. yeah. die sober as a gift you know. and i mean i'll die sober i will never. drink again i'll never smoke pot again. i'll never. i don't really want to do psychedelics. or shrooms or dmt it doesn't i had my. time for that. i had my time i you know i don't need to. go on ayahuasca retreats and. all these [ __ ] losers in la that are.
i'm sober i used to have a joke in my. act i still do but i just did joke i do. in la where i'm like. it's la sober if you ever ask anyone. who's sober in l.a they're like yeah i'm. sober man i'm not drinking they're like. i still smoke pot a little bit i do. shrooms in xanax i was on an ayahuasca. retreat i'm a shaman actually. i lead them you know and i'll take pills. every now and then some painkillers some. barbiturates suboxone methadone i have a. card i go to the clinic. you know and uh heroin you know. intravenous though you know i don't. snort that [ __ ] i just. i do heroin you know there's nothing.
wrong with heroin really other than the. you know withdrawals and the addiction. but you know clean needles go down. needle exchange. but i uh you know but i don't i don't. drink beer. i'm not some drunk. so yeah i mean i don't wanna. i don't wanna plug the podcast because. i've said only nice things about it. though. that's the thing i've only said nice. things so i feel. i don't know what uh we gotta find a rug. outside for this [ __ ].
i've only said nice things about it and. i wish everyone the best i hope he keeps. losing weight i will keep listening to. it. yes the companies that advertise on the. show are a super great product. or they're they give me money sheath. underwear.com we talk about sheath all. the time they're great they're great as. underwear they're great as a bathing. suit. you use it there's a pouch where you can. put your balls and your junk in it. uh the uh the owner robert was a. veteran of the wars. uh the just wars that have accomplished. much. and he's now back selling underwear um.
and that's. he got the idea for sheath underwear. in iraq and people don't know this but. um one of the materials that they would. use. the kind of you know stretchy but strong. material that they would use um. to make these little kind of to kind of. mummify the people. that would mummify the people after they. were killed. uh at respect for the religion and what.
he did was he said this is a great. material that we use for mummifying the. corpses of the dead. we should make it into underwear and. also give people a pouch for their. drunken balls. which is so important and uh. i i just respect that i really really. respect that and i think it's really. great. when people are inspired by their. environments and come up with something. great. and um you know it's great it's all i. wear. they're the best you have to try it. yourself you got to give them a google. sheets underwear.com do.
some research it's interesting his story. is inspiring this guy robert and i don't. say that a lot. but to me it is very inspiring. um to just i mean when you look at what. he's done. and the fact that he's never been. court-martialed. or really sent to the hague for war. crimes. is so inspiring to me that he's just. kind of. sidestepped that somehow and is back. selling underwear. comfortable underwear is so great.
to me um that he was able to kind of get. away with everything he did. um i mean one of his big quotes was. terrorists have no age. and that was such a meaningful thing. because a lot of people like we. shouldn't shoot a baby. but he said terrorists have no age and. he would. i mean just total war is what he would. wage. in these towns total war he was not one. of these guys you know you see the. soldiers playing the. soccer with the kids that wasn't him he.
was in it to win it. so he would just straight up walk around. fallujah. shooting children in the face like in. the face and it's. you know so many the great moral. questions of our time have no easy. answers. and i'm just a supporter of someone. who's takes action. there was a story once this is one of my. favorite stories and this is and we'll. then we'll get out of the ad but. this is a story once where.
he and this is something that and i. don't think he's into this sexually. but he raped a dog in front of a family. and and he and the commitment. to it in iraq he raped a dog. in front of a family and. and then he broke the dog's neck as he. was coming. sheath underwear dot com use code tim.
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in in terms of pure comedy there's. nothing funnier. than a a 120 pound white kid from. vermont. tweeting that we don't need cops just. getting. raped to death on the williamsburg. bridge here's the problem there's. nothing funnier than that. i think what's going to happen is like. those people will leave and like. the new york times that sustained all. that violence. like was like actual people who lived. here it wasn't like people who like you. know. came here to be a clown and and then. like bounce as soon as you know like you.
know. applebee's clothes you know whatever the. [ __ ] i mean well there was a lot of. people that came here to be artists that. just stuck it out that were tough back. in the day. but me and you always talked about. you're gonna get all that violence and. all that poverty. and none of the art dude you get none of. it my boss. you know was saying when trump got. elected. uh he was like speaking to the company. going like. hey you know uh this is not great but uh. it might be on the the silver lining. might be that you know we returned. toward.
you know an age of great art you know. [ __ ] punk and [ __ ] this and that. not one thing not one fraction of that. came true. not one thing for all the turbine on. both sides both sides. neither you know there's been time in. recent in decades. when both sides have been this amped up. and felt like you know whether whether. you feel like you're. you know white supremacist or feels like. your country slipping away or. all the other people either i mean no. one's made anything of substance. on either side it'd just be great to. like bring these guys back and like.
bring duke ellington. back and go put your horn down just hand. the microphone go. what'd you do today he's like what like. this is what we do now for. eight hours every day he goes what are. you talking about go. that's the only way to make a living now. what do you think what do you think. about things. together goes i just want to play the. [ __ ] you know whatever. the a train or whatever i don't know. what he [ __ ] you know we're like no. no just talk about your wife. it's a [ __ ] smell what about your wife. talk about your wife's [ __ ] for three.
hours. he goes what it's just like. you want to talk about art this is the. collapse of art. in in such a total and absolute way you. can't even imagine it coming back can. you imagine if someone did make a. seminal work of art right now like no. one would give a. [ __ ] who would appreciate it we're all. morons. like this. i mean can you imagine one of the these. random movies that. amazon produces for like you know just. streaming on prime was like the next.
godfather we wouldn't even know it who. gives it like. yeah we'd be like this sucks. this thing sucks i want to watch cobra. kai. season four by the way i'm really. excited for the season four of cobra. kind because it's people are like it's. too white. i can't wait i just hope there's a flick. a third there's got to be a fourth dojo. now. ran by like a morbidly obese black chick. who's like y'all want to learn karate. you don't want to look ready and they're. like who's this and they're like.
this is shamika's dojo. shamika's like yeah like i i love. karate and the show is pretty diverse. isn't it i mean like it's got a lot of. different. reasons not enough not enough i thought. the problem was because like there was. no. it was like specifically that there was. no japanese main character i don't know. the problem is that lizzo isn't running. a dojo right. they the problem is that they haven't. injected a storyline that makes.
no sense and is completely not grounded. in reality. and is laughably cartoonish you know. it's rake it's it's like me and you. saying there's not enough fat people in. baywatch. you know we're fat we don't want to. watch fat people in baywatch. what the [ __ ] that like you want to. watch lifeguards be hot. and save people it's like a cra i never. watched baywatch. when but there there's no one that looks. like me.
i think i think it could have helped you. though you you could have you could have. been. think about how much more confident you. would be if there was a fat kid on. baywatch. who looked like you you could i mean but. that kind of confidence would be so. destructive. you know they would you by the way. you're right. and that kind of ca i could see of no. way. to getting to be a true sociopath. than if i grew up watching fat kids on. baywatch. jump around in the water i mean i would. be a i'm pretty confident now.
for for for like no real reason. the idea that if we just watched fat. whales. frolicking on a beach can you imagine. what monsters we would have become. i don't know i don't even know what i. don't know where this ends honestly it's. like. yeah the kids just like. i i who who's looking at like when is. the what did the answer become like. mainstream culture like wasn't the whole.
point. of like everything we learned even in. school was like oh don't. don't follow the like when you jump off. a roof when you jump off a fence or. whatever. cliff like yeah you jump off a bridge. would he do it yeah. and it's like was no idea like to be an. outspoken person. when did we start going like if you're. if you're not represented by corporate. like. things that we still use to sell french. fries then somehow you don't matter. like that's the weird that that's like a. bizarre angle of it. i get like i'm not an idiot i get the. other point like. yeah if you don't grow up seeing black.
or black you don't grow up seeing black. people yeah i get that to a point. but at a certain point we're just like. asking who can sell [ __ ] you know. shrimp fest every year but it's also. like. it's just like what did we grow up and. want like home improvement we grew up. and watching an idiot go like. i like tools like there was no. no no like what did i learn that i could. be an idiot. like all i learned is i'm gonna get. caught by my wife every every week. yeah we're gonna learn that i'm gonna.
have a show called tool time about. sauce like what i don't understand like. the drew cat like the drew carey shot. could be some fat idiot. with some like i don't even know what he. did like i don't even know like. what were these shows supposed to. inspire us to even do he. his friends in season four or five. started their own like you know micro. brewery or something. and they would just make beer and with. caffeine in it uh. that like and it's also like dude it's.
like roseanne like. most shows we watched the families were. like [ __ ] yeah like roseanne's family. was [ __ ]. they were fortunate they had no money. they tried to they tried to start a. loose meat restaurant. remember that yeah yeah yeah. it's like yeah it's like wait a minute. what did we learn from watching rosanna. you could work at a diner. and eventually and eventually like fall. for q anon like. what exactly what exactly was the great. lesson.
from all these what like i guess you had. to go back to like family ties. alex p keaton like there was like a few. shows where like they were but like. but everything is better if it's just. jay-z and beyonce like isn't that better. it's not like a more right. a kind of more concentrated like. diluting it into this we believed all. kinds of [ __ ] like mr belvedere it's. like oh i guess i'll get a butler one. day. i guess my parents will move some fat. british pedophile. into my house hey that guy what was the.
story there why was he where are they. i think he just [ __ ] the kids. [Laughter]. i mean it's like everything we grew up. with it was like mr belvedere. some dude just by the way the house. wasn't even like that big. right they clearly weren't that rich. they just had this middle-aged british. man. that wasn't thinking like he clearly. wasn't there like normal it wasn't a. normal thing he'd be their butler it was. like. he was just like living with them like. yeah different.
harry in the hand was like legit harry. and the hendersons. where it's like oh bigfoot lives in the. house. like a sasquatch lives in the house like. would any race have been better if there. was a family that adopted a sasquatch. that lived with them like it's just when. you unpack this you're like what exactly. are you did you want like step by step. that blended family. with suzanne summers and patrick duffy. right on tgif where like. that the whole family hated each other.
because still like it was from just this. weird divorce. it was all tragic. i'm trying to remember like the shows. yeah we're like they were there. they were probably they're probably. cheating with each other before they got. divorced like those kids probably. hate the other one yeah it was a broken. home. yeah step by step it's like that's what. you say to. drug addicts who are trying to get clean. like and then there was like. the show's like friends where it's like. yeah you could live in new york city and.
be a failed actor and. live in a big apartment and earn no. money and like all these. unrealistic horrible shows that like. doomed us to failure. right they're like doom friends made it. cool to have like nine roommates into. your 40s. that's a great point it's actually the. most destructive thing is seeing. yourself on the. reflected background it's the worst idea. asians didn't have it they're doing. great. like they're doing great they didn't. need to be an asian version a friend. with seven. asian losers they can't do they can't.
[ __ ] remember to get milk unless nine. of them go to the. what is this i just don't understand. it's when you unpack it you're like. maybe the worst thing in the world is. that we saw ourselves on tv. right dennis france in nypd. blue i too can be a fat racist cop good. thank god beverly hills 90210. like yeah like oh that's realistic i. could be hot. and 35 and play a teenager like i can.
be in uh in a high school it's like well. no he's not. everything it was like the real world. and these are the reality show they're. growing up watching reality shows and. getting onto reality shows like. it's a cycle of just like. and then you know they have a kid and. they get diabetes i don't know. how it ends but it's like it's just it. really is already like a dystopian. [ __ ] novel it's [ __ ] it's. grotesque. yeah i mean it's like teen moms and it's. like 19th season yeah.
it's like they're not even teen moms. here but they're like 46. it's just like crazy i don't know if i. can have his kid like. you're a lawyer yeah. we went to go look at apartments today. uh just to see them and you know who. knows i think. i talked about it on the main show it's. like maybe the move is an apartment. so we went to this building uh in uh. santa monica. which is a real citrus city century city.
a real high-end. building just to look at it see what's. going on over there. really hot woman uh uh. walks you know first of all when we walk. in these buildings like ben walks in. first and they're like. hello and then i walk in i'm like hello. and they're like oh. they're like are you and i'm like i'm. the decision maker and they're like. right okay uh so then they're all like. well i guess. we by law have to show you these things. and i'm like. correct correct so we go on a tour.
of this apartment the woman looks at me. she goes we have a gym you don't need to. see the gym. right i'm like no i believe you there's. a gym so then she goes you get free. complimentary breakfast it's like when. you're a fat person you just treat it. like this all the time. she goes there's free complimentary. breakfast she goes it's a continental. breakfast which goes we also have hot. food. because of kovid uh we don't have the. hot food out but she goes don't worry. about. it uh when uh cove is over we have eggs. and bacon and. bagels and locks she does that for no.
one else by the way and it's like. they're slinging really expensive. apartments it's just hilarious that the. sales point is bagels she's like we got. locks and bagels and eggs you like that. you fat [ __ ] don't you. you don't have to see the gym right. because we don't want you dying in it. so we have big bowls of eggs we have a. butler service they'll bring the eggs. right up to your apartment. shove them down your fat gullet and. you're like okay. ben by the way they're like you want to. see the gym you want to see the lap pool. with me they're like here's a nice room. where you can sit.
here's a theater we have a screening. room so you can sit here. and it's you can reserve it and just sit. in here alone so you don't have to be. outside with other good looking people. we know that makes you nervous so you. could just lock yourself in our. screening room for three hours and cry. how about that fatty we've rented to. pigs like you before we know what. amenities you really want. she the first thing they started telling. me about you because you have a butler. service that brings the food. to the unit this is literally the first.
thing out of her mouth she goes. we have a butler service so the food. comes in. and then the food goes to the butler. service and then the butler server. brings it up to the unit. so you don't have to do anything you. don't have to leave your uh. unit and have everyone see you. storming downstairs like an angry. rhinoceros. trying to find out where the pokeball is. they just put it. they open the door and they just shove. it right at ya.
she didn't she focused on like the. health center for literally one minute. she's like here outside here are our. chairs here's the seating area you like. sitting don't you. so then we're walking around she's. showing us the units and some of them. are nice but some of them are whatever i. mean is their apartments right. every modern new apartment is the same. thing every single one. and if you want to read the best um. criticism of architecture and urban. planning.
that is out there right now a.a gill. who is a travel writer uh for the sunday. times of london and vanity fair. scottish guy who wrote some of the best. articles on steak. on cities on travel he was politically. incorrect. um you know like i think he said once. he's like korean is this. is this year's must-have asian and you. know like he just said things like that. but he was a brilliant writer and he. wrote one of my favorite articles ever. written is called condos. of the living dead and it is great and.
it is. really about the new. high-end and i'd never been in one i. mean i've lived in new york city for. years. i had really really never been in like a. high-end. apartment building and i'd never had the. sales uh. uh team the the woman the hot chick. lead you around the apartment and show. you all the amenities. and i wanted to do it and one of the. reasons i wanted to do it is because i. love that article condos of the living. dead.
and he talks about it and i mean it's. just so. good i mean do you have an option i do. oh you have it i read some of it. i mean it's it's one of those articles. that is so. pitch perfect when they talk about the. people that sell you. um you know these apartments and. everything like that i want to find. the part of it that i really like. and uh again i would just recommend that. you read it. but it's so funny and he talks about how. all this is about lifestyle which is the.
word that they all talk about right. it's all about lifestyle and uh and he. talks about it and he. really some of these lines that really. really get me. here about these things. sales people haunt the empty apartment. spinning a life. made of brushed steel and 12 shades of. indian marble. after a time the repetition of this. lifestyle blends all the apartments into. one apartment. they all have minute hundred thousand. dollar kitchens that no one will ever.
toast more than a bagel in. which is just as well because there's. nowhere to sit and eat anyway there are. hardly any dining rooms even living. rooms. no new new york style has a great room a. place to plug in your laptop. prop up your flat screen suck starbucks. and serve soapy asian babes. the bedrooms are for solitary fear. and chemical unconsciousness they seem. to contain just enough oxygen for a. single night's sleep. these apartments don't have space for a. family or dogs with hair. or lives that involve more than the.
passive absorbing. of electronic stimuli and emails. so that's really the brilliance. of the article you've got to read the. [ __ ] article but this chick comes out. and she's hot. persian good-looking not an extra ounce. of fat on her. black hair decent skin really good skin. something going on on the forehead i. wasn't completely in love with. but it is what it is they're an oily. people persians are they not i don't. really know.
but ben was like whoa like ben you know. was a christian boy with a wife so he. doesn't. really you know but he noticed how. attractive she was in. like a boyish way he kind of know i mean. she was an attractive woman the high. heels the clicking and the clacking yeah. it was very. very very very hot ben was like fighting. with himself he's like wow this is. i'm having thoughts that jesus doesn't. like. but this woman was hot now of course i. don't give a [ __ ]. doesn't matter to me if she pulled out a.
big hog it would have been interesting. like if she sat on one of these. countertops and started jerking like a. fat eight-inch [ __ ]. i would have been like this is kind of. interesting and then she could have. serviced both me and ben. in different ways in one of the. apartments who would have been great. but she didn't do that we're walking. around we're looking at these apartments. and listen if you know anything about. ten thousand santa monica there's really. only one question i wanna ask. and the question is where did steve bing.
jump from steve being friends with bill. clinton. ron berkel used to hang out with them. hollywood what was he screenwriter. producer screenwriter a producer. yeah he hung out with rob lowe and all. those guys he hung out with all those. guys roblox also lives. at 10 000 santa monica and steve bing. jumped to his death because he was broke. who knows or because maybe he called. bill clinton he's like we've done a lot. of bad things and i just got to get some. of them off my chest yeah you know bill. clinton made a phone call he's like.
hey man this is just not the same steve. we knew and that's probably the code in. those circles for like he needs to go. yeah it's just not the same steve we. knew man steve calls him crying. going like i can't believe the things. we've done we're going to burn in hell. for it. i just got to get him off my chest and. he's like no now don't worry about it. steve listen. you're a good man you go to bed and you. know. and this sales [ __ ] this hot sales. [ __ ] probably [ __ ] turned off the. cameras and let the [ __ ] mossad in. there to throw him off the balcony.
and she'll do the same thing for me but. i said to her i said can we ask you an. inappropriate question she's like of. course you can. i i think she was she might have been. down a [ __ ]. she was down the [ __ ] ben she would have. let me watch. she would have said listen pig you sit. in the corner of the room. and diddle yourself while this man [ __ ]. me. she would have absolutely been into that. she would have said we know what you're. gonna get out of this you sit in the. corner. and watch him [ __ ] beat up my [ __ ]. on this [ __ ] tiny little kitchen. island.
with a great view everybody can come now. don't touch me pig. but everyone can come and then rent the. apartment. but of course i wasn't pushing that i. just wanted to know where steve bing. jumped i said. and she goes oh i'm not going to tell. you that and i said okay and she goes do. you really want to know i said yes she. goes. the unit you're in right now the unit. she was showing us on the 27th floor. is where steve bing jumped off the. juliet balcony which means.
you can't put furniture on it right but. you can just stand on it. look outside and jump and. she's like this unit right now and i'm. like really and she goes yep. and i was like [ __ ] and i looked at her. and i said well. at least he got a view of the pacific. while he was doing it and she looked at. me and without missing a beat she said. you can also see all of downtown. she was just perfect absolutely. perfect you can also see all.
of downtown not missing a beach because. yes steve was a good guy i said yeah. people have problems you know so we're. standing there in steve bing's apartment. and by the way that is how [ __ ]. steve bing was at the end of his life he. lost all this money and i didn't realize. it. he lost so much money that some. podcaster might rent his apartment. or is at least thinking about it what a. nightmare for steve bing. how bad was it the last indignity that a. podcaster would rent that apartment and.
maybe i would kill myself in the exact. same way. what if i took that apartment and killed. myself in the exact. same way that steve bing did then it. would just be the apartment where. everybody dies. we call this the suicide suite. tim dillon threw himself off it before. that it was steve bing. ben's so funny ben says she's such an. interesting kid he goes maybe we could. you know maybe you could. try to get some money off if you know.
you bring up the bing thing and i'm like. yeah they'll they'll rent it to just. some chinese person who has no idea who. he is. or they'll rent it to the guy that. killed him she'll look at me and she'll. be like will you shut the [ __ ]. up i'll rent it to the guy that killed. him she's like i pushed him. wouldn't that be great if she looked at. me and i said yeah man people have. mental problems because i pushed him. because there was a hundred grand there. was a there was a bag. of a hundred thousand dollars in my car. that day i knew what i had to do there.
was a seven minute span of time the. security cameras were off. and i went up there i took my top off i. said steve. i want to [ __ ] and he said yeah and i. said yeah [ __ ] me up against the. right up against the julia balcony out. the window and then. she just turned around and pushed him. off somehow. imagine she hears this like we go back. in. she's like so uh someone i know is a. member of your. patreon service and uh you did an.
episode saying that i killed steve bing. i. [ __ ] steve bing to death off the. balcony and i'll go. well this is how i this is how i make a. living and i. you did tell me all about the. continental breakfast did you not. what did you think of the building i. mean it's a nice building beautiful. building. beautiful building um we did confirm it. is. it is steve bing's room though because. he did jump from the 27th floor by the. way. so that is that is a hundred percent.
true. fingerling but they do everything what. if i didn't stop saying that i was like. we they do everything for you they. literally will wash your car. they'll drive you to the airport they'll. give you a free car if it's in a three. mile. and they will turn off the security. cameras and let the massage kill you. she goes you don't even have to kill. yourself we will literally throw you off. the balcony. of your building at the behest of a.
crime family like the clintons. don't worry about it don't worry about. it one phone call you're out of here. supposedly his girlfriend had killed. herself a year before and then. the quarantine was getting to him back. in june that's that's what i've been. i've been reading about it a lot today. so it's a combination of he was broke. the quarantine was getting to him. he was coming off the ant on the. anniversary of his girlfriend overdosing. on xanax she got from his palm springs. home. yeah well these people by the way a lot.
of these people. are living lives and they're in the [ __ ]. that you don't know what they're doing. and you don't know why people are are. odin or they're killing themselves or. maybe it's just because. if you have that kind of money. everything sucks. maybe that's it maybe he just secretly. wants to storm the capital like. maybe maybe that's what all these rich. people want when they kill themselves. they're like. i just want to get sucked into something. that makes me want to storm the capitol.
i don't know maybe they're just like i. want to [ __ ]. you know they're like i'm sick of being. the target of q anon i want to be in. queueing on. i don't know he had a career he had a. run in hollywood. what did he do tell the people what he. did by the way this is our r.i.p steve. bing episode. it will be titled r.i.p steve bing. how great would it be if i rent the. apartment and steve bing just appears. every night to me. and he's like listen you fat [ __ ] you. know where the window is.
we're both kidding ourselves if you. think you're going to be here more than. two months. um so he wrote uh kangaroo jack. uh that was his like solo thing he wrote. well that was a stunning uh. it was a total failure and an. embarrassment was it. he should have been thrown off the. [ __ ] balcony for that. the last thing he did oh so he how great. would it be if they were just like this. is for kangaroo jack. and then throw him off this is for. kangaroo jack. um so he also he co-wrote conair.
which that's impressive that's a good. it's a great movie man. the last thing on air so the last thing. he did. is where the convicts take over the. plane. oh wow right yeah yeah interesting. interesting why'd you say wow. well there's a connection there right. well. conair let's just go with it right. conair. the convicts take over the plane 9 11. the terrorists take over the plan. see this is if i was a q anon guy that's.
all i'd have to say. that's what's how lazy conspiracies are. right now all you would have to say is. that. and people would just start nodding and. go [ __ ] yeah man this super chat money. just starts coming in like. did you start throwing you the cash i'm. like i made that connection. i made that connection for you pay me. um so the film that he had produced and. flopped was the. uh i think most recently the rules don't. apply it's the hughes biopic. directed by warren beatty betty beatty.
man get it right warm baby like he's a. [ __ ] legend sorry. stick tracy [ __ ] i think he used. to [ __ ] madonna warren beatty. really yeah so he used to roll around. with like james kahn and rob lowe in the. 80s he was part of the they called him. the rag tag. yeah whatever it was things were good. yeah thank you were good. good house in bel air things were good. news hanging out bill clinton. mick jagger and ron berkel and they used. to have a plane called air [ __ ] one yeah. where they would take people on it and. [ __ ] them.
and i'm sure everybody on that plane had. their license checked. so steve bing hollywood producer. screenwriter. i think he was good friends with tom. hanks too he threw a hundred million. into polar express uh oh. sorry uh-oh i don't know good friends. with tom hanks. who knows i don't know. isaac cappy said a thing about tom hanks. right. and by the way like i said if it was all.
true folks. wouldn't shock me wouldn't move. would not like i i haven't seen any. evidence that is true. but if it came out that it was true that. tom hanks was part of some. hollywood super secret pedophile cult i. would be. i would go like this and go ha ha well. interesting wouldn't shock me. after doing the who took johnny episodes. and talking to nick bryant nothing would. shock me. i just still nothing shocking you.
doesn't mean that you just run out there. without any evidence. and accuse people of literally the most. horrible and heinous activity on earth. uh uh because it somehow helps donald. trump. mean it's the craziest way it's the. craziest reason to free the children. right because it helps donald trump by. the way it's the crit. how many of these people are going to. just not care about kids after this. oh yeah oh after trump's out they're not. going to care about kids anymore they're. gonna be like well i hope those kids are. free now because i don't give a [ __ ].
they go if i can't if i can't i can't. bash this over the head of liberals. if i can't own the libs with saving kids. i ain't into it. going to save and kids just just to get. the other side back. they're just lifting the kids out of the. tunnels now you realize why we're doing. this right. you realize where we're doing this good. it's so we can deregulate. the energy markets for exxon.
we need enough political clout so that. donald trump. can go deregulate energy markets that's. why we're pulling out of these tunnels. we actually didn't give that much of a. [ __ ]. before and we won't after. but i want to go in heavy to roblox. tomorrow it's going to be a massive what. is your version going in heavy you're. getting paid too much. like 500 bucks men's paid 30 a month for. this show. what if i didn't pay you any money like. the patreon was like so much money and i. just didn't pay you any money.
no matter what i pay him it's never. enough the wife goes you know it's not. enough ben. i'm gonna give them a real good. christmas i my goal. is to have a wedding coming up and uh. where are you doing it like a taco truck. right. no in green uh green hall outside austin. don't tell people where it is. people show up what do you what are you. serving you're serving like baked beans. and. sausage links hot links we're gonna have. uh the the the. blue build cherry vanilla as dessert. that is good. uh we're gonna do some jalapeno poppers. from a local restaurant we're gonna do.
barbecue we're gonna do brisket we're. gonna. dance uh it's it's very small i'll ask. katie if there's room for a dad yeah. i'm sure you well um. um so what do you have and you have a. blue bell ice cream. we're gonna have british what's the main. course do we have get a mini course. barbecue what's the. oh nice what's the cocktail hour you get. a little shrimp cocktail. we'll do some you know i'm sure we'll. have wine and beer we're not going to do. liquor but uh. wine and you know probably shiner bach. lone star texas beer.
for the people okay how many people are. coming. about 60. wow yeah pretty small kind of. that's kind of big is it who did you. invite devon and ida. uh i mean we i told them that i would. invite them but i didn't want them to. spend the money on a plane ticket. because i knew they'd be you know put. out on the whole thing. right they're traveling you're the point. they have to fly people into the wedding. that's if i got married to i'd have to. panic. i have to fly my family in cause baby. they have to fly them into the wedding. i'll fly him into a to a [ __ ] it.
won't be a wedding. i just want to get married so i could. make a mess of it. like i would love to have a wedding just. so i could relapse on drugs. and drinking an hour before and. that's kind of funny if you think about. doing this as a bit. no i know it would it would ruin your. life maybe but it'd be a great bit to. relapse an hour before. and just be drunk and just be like. screaming at your. do you love me do you really love.
me and then you look out at the people. you go [ __ ] all these people. they don't matter do you love me. like that's what i want to do i want to. get real like sauced up. before i make it marry someone. and then i go do you love me do you look. at me. look at me right now. and i too the priest is going well i. don't know if i'd have a priest right. i'd probably get a priest those. pedophiles. he'll marry a couple of [ __ ] i go hey.
will you shut the [ __ ] up like the. priest is like. to having to hold and go hey you shut. the [ __ ] up for a minute. and i grab the person and go do you. [ __ ] love me. um that's that's what now is there going. to be speeches or did you have the best. man like how does it work. uh so we're doing it a little bit. different because me and katie are. already officially married and we had to. change some things around. right so we're not doing like the actual. boring church pews.
we're doing something totally different. okay but but people can give speeches. and we'll be dancing and stuff but we're. not doing like the formal like at the. altar. you may now kiss the bride type who's. gonna give a speech. uh i'm my brother we'll give you a. speech wow nice if he you know. he comes and now. who else will give a talk um uh katie's. uncle i'm sure katie's dad will as well. and dude i hope it's full cue do you. want to give a speech at the wedding i. mean i don't know i mean. i mean do you have a budget wait did you.
say you hope it's full. yeah full kill i hope it's like three. senses about you and katie and then he. starts to go like. yeah her father goes like listen. uh you know we all know trump is still. the president. you know the jew media can say whatever. they want i'll just stand up with the. blue by eating bluebell smoking butts. going. you tell him tell him he goes they can. say whatever they want but the reality. is. we're in a war we're in a war right now. and i'm happy that you two are married.
because you're going to need a good. partner when you're fighting a war. against satan i'm if this is not that. wedding ben i'll leave. i want this wedding to be a straight-up. christian like like hellscape i want to. be called a [ __ ]. and and i want them to say. the only reason you're allowed here is. because you had candace owens on the. show. and uh and uh if this is not that i will. be so disappointed. by the way she's getting a late night uh. television show yeah on the daily wire.
probably be funnier than kimmel's so. it'd be interesting i'm not going to. speak at the wedding because it's it's. weird when. someone who is like a guy like me talks. at a wedding like i. have you given a speech at a wedding. i've never given a speech i mean. it's not it's a real i would just get. out. do you want me to give the speech i will. give it to the wedding sure go ahead. here's the speech let's give it away. that's the wedding. okay uh thank thank you all. for being here and celebrating the love.
of of bannon. and catherine katie katie katie. um i met ben and katie a few years ago. and i used them i lived in the small. room of their house. i showered there the water bill went up. it was very tough um ben wasn't working. and katie was working and no one really. had any money and. me and ben smoked cigarettes all night. and watched alex jones and katie was.
very worried about the direction of. where this was heading and i and i. and i i understand that and i get it and. i i still believe that i have taken. advantage of that. to a degree that is unconscionable every. night i lay in my bed. and i say to myself you're a scumbag for. what you did. to this couple truly and the fact that. they withstood. my torment my selfishness uh. is shocking to me that they were able to.
weather the storm that was uh. tim dillon uh i want to apologize to. them publicly. for everything i have done and continue. to do. um i yelled at ben once when he was late. and i'm sorry about that it was uh. very sad to do. to raise my voice to him it was it was. not right when he. showed up at a when i had to take a uh. a car uh he had to bring his car so i.
could take a road test and he said it. was on e and then i shouldn't worry. about it and. to just tell the instructor of the road. tested it's okay we have 90 miles left. which is the most irresponsible thing. you could do i probably would have been. failed right off the bat. but that's okay i and then i yelled at. him and i said what did i say to you. that day. um you're gonna like bash my skull i. said i was gonna bash his skull. and i called him a drunk which is ironic. because he was two years sober. but i was hitting the the thing in the. car and i i. scared him a little bit but that's what.
i do i'm scary. and mean i'm a scary pig. who comes in and ruins everybody's life. and the fact that they're even having. this wedding right now. after everything i've put these two. through is uh. amazing to me so again i just want. everyone to raise their glass. um to ben and katie who. have made it through the. disease the real pandemic which is tim. dillon.
um i know every day and every moment. they both wish i died. and just hope that they're in my will so. that they can spend my money. while i die which is the best case. scenario for everybody. so with that being said i've got to go. back. to my blue bell ice cream while i sit. here at this wedding alone. and try to think of reasons not to kill. myself on the dance floor which we don't. have because of covet or jesus or. whoever. um and i'm going to listen to the fiddle.
band. with ben's brother as we both sit here. lonely and have a seventh helping of. barbecue. and [ __ ] in the chairs and uh basically. stare at everyone else who has love in. their life. thank you everyone please subscribe to. our patreon. and uh please get an nft of me killing. myself. which ben will be shooting if he has the. time. i'm sure they'll take a nine month. honeymoon after this.
and if i call them and ask them what's. going on. they'll be like who is it again oh it's. that terrorist he wants me to do some. work. so again uh i want to thank both of them. they're such. interesting people both of them uh i. love talking to them about the things. that happened. in their neighborhood or someone who. might have gotten shot that day. or a dog that was lost that they found. um that's. very illuminating to me the types of.
discussions that i've been uh privileged. to have with both of them at tables. about uh avocado toast and. someone who may have been shot or it. might have been a firework. so again thank you everyone i will be. doing i'll have an autograph booth later. if you want to come and. take a photo with the pig and you can. show it. to all the people who live in sewer. taxes or wherever the hell. you people come from god bless you good.
night. i mean i would do something that was. lovely no i would really say i would. really say. um wouldn't it be great if i just stood. up and i went. you know i. made this event happen truly. i mean i did it they fell in love but. this is it's all mine everything you're. eating. take that brisket out of your mouth this. is my. words that have made this happen okay.
this entire wedding was paid for by. me so it's my way. it's. okay now i don't have anyone to marry. but make no goddamn mistake about it. it's as much my wedding as is their. wedding. so i would like to recite the vows. after they do because it's my day. any time to get the [ __ ] out it's my day.
okay i just bring up some twink then i. just met some 20 year old twig i go. we're getting married right now. but it'll be i'm excited for it. i'm excited for it i and i'm i you know. i wasn't going to go to your last. wedding because i don't we didn't even. like each other at that point. remember your last wedding that i wasn't. going to go to i remember. that i said i was on the road but i. don't think i was i think you actually. were. on the road i think i might have been on. the road yeah i think we're having a.
rough patch. yeah we were going we had a couple rough. uh like three weeks. what was it do you remember um. i can't remember the exact specifics of. it i remember it was when we. started doing the dark studio right. around that time when i was building. that out. but you know i don't do like a lunatic. so i can't remember the exact details. i don't remember the details either but. i was like hey man i can't be involved. but good luck. yeah and then you didn't want me there. anyway you and i probably didn't want me.
there. it's not true that's true um i can't i. imagine that i'm not wanted at this one. either. i i did receive an invitation though. which i think is nice yes you did. i did i died that's sweet but my goal. here's what my goal is. is to give them a present that is so. nice. that they both feel horrible. like my goal is to give them a present. that it's. so nice that they both really feel. bad and it.
it it asserts my dominance over them. the way an old billionaire from a. stephen king novel who has like the. whole town in his grips. you know like you know they're like mr. has owned this town since the early days. of you know. like i i want to come in and just give. you guys a present. that's so over the top that. i just want you both to know. that it's my day.
you know what i mean it's not your day. it's my day. i may tell everyone what i give you i. may get up and go. let me tell you what let me what i gave. these two schmucks. these two people here's what i gave them. i'm gonna give you a really nice present. you don't even know what it is. i'm gonna give you a very nice present. oh really wow no i mean. it's gonna be very it's gonna be like. nicer than.
i i think it'll be the best present you. got you fire me at the wedding. i'm gonna fire you from the show and i'm. gonna bring lisa. where is lisa by the way we keep doing. like a running joke about lisa is that. mean or not. is he doing okay he has a he has a. podcast and a patreon i don't want to. keep doing this joke if he's like. homeless or something go support lisa. guys go support leaders but i don't know. where he is so. sometimes you do jokes about people and. then you find out they're in a coma and. you go i gotta stop. i gotta stop doing that that's not nice.
to do. he fell asleep on his live stream on his. twitch that's hilarious. you should keep doing that every podcast. you should just fall asleep on a live. stream. i would watch that i don't want to watch. anything and if lisa. goes i will fall asleep at some point. during this live stream. i'd absolutely watch it. comp should do the same thing but i'm. excited about this wedding man. and what what what time is it is it like. six hours. no no no it's gonna be quick and.
painless we don't want it to be a. boring long wedding we want it in and. out in and out. get the what get some drinks get out. what if i get married the same day. oh my god and i hold a wedding. that what if i married jake paul on the. same day. in in miami and invite all of your. friends. who which friend are you inviting other. than travie uh debbie boobie's coming. um jake is coming who you met jake he.
lives in austin. is he the guy that we had on to talk. about the dark web yeah he's the dark. web guy from old episodes that's good. um i'm trying to think who else uh john. key a friend of mine from abilene. and that's about it a lot of people. can't make it because of covid or. that's all fake yeah what are they. talking about it can't make us a carving. a lot of people just not in their budget. to travel all the way to texas and back. and i totally get it i haven't gone to. weddings for that for that reason too. cause you're out like a grand for like. the tickets for you and your wife and. then the hotel and then.
i really have not been invited to a lot. of weddings it kind of saddens me. i've got one wedding i went to what to. my friend tina's sister's wedding i. didn't bring a present. i the guy hates she married some tow. truck guy. and he hates me because i didn't bring a. present i just showed up did they say. something i just showed up by he was at. russo's on the bay of brooklyn. i just showed up by dinner and left i. didn't really stick. oh my god.
i dinner i smoked a few butts with the. staff of russo's in the back and i just. got out of there. by the way i don't even know if i had to. sit down dinner russo's on the bed is a. great a cocktail hour it's like. the little lamb chops fresh tomato and. mutts i think i went to that. for about two hours and then i left. and i. i've not been invited to a lot of. weddings oh man. i went to my friend joe's wedding the.
mortgage guy i went to his wedding i. just have not gone to a lot of weddings. yeah me neither haven't been invited. never been a bachelor or best man or. anything. i've never been a best man i've never. been. you you'll you'll be you would be my. best man if i got it. would you get would you be best man at a. gay wedding absolutely i would. well you don't know who i'm married. you want me to finish yeah would you be. the best man at a wedding with me and.
richard spencer. let me finish i've never been a best man. dude i've never been like part of the. wet like i just went into comedy and. every. everybody's a loser nobody gets married. in this the roommates i had when i first. started comedy got married. in a basketball gymnasium in staten. island it was like an embarrassment. and it like you know they had like hero. sandwiches and stuff i mean it was an. embarrassment. you know but i i you know i've never.
been like the guy that people say. oh this guy should be our best because. i'm just not close with a lot of people. i just fell out a lot. my friend joe got married in new orleans. but i was headlining a room i can't do i. was like i can't do it. i've worked years to get into headline. and this was like a room that. somebody cancelled they threw me in last. minute which he understood. i was also sober i just want to go to a. wedding in new orleans everybody getting. bombed. totally drink it absinthe. some people go to a ton of weddings i. i've never been to like my family's.
wedding like my cousins or. aunts my cousins aren't getting married. during dope they're on heroin. thank god thank god imagine you had it. going to their weddings. thank christ thank god they're on heroin. they found something they love. it's not bothered they don't bother. anybody let them live. i mean yeah no one in my family got. married i'm the most successful cousin. and i'm a gay. ex-cocaine addict uh clown. and i'm the most successful like old.
none of them figured anything out really. i mean some of them did they bounce. around some of them are okay i guess. but i'm excited for it it's happening in. april. i mean it's gonna be it's gonna be. interesting to see like your family i've. never met your family. they like know who i am i guess my mom's. a fan of the show yeah they know who i. am. but i've never met any of them um. [Music]. should i bring chevron is my plus one.
which i'm sure i don't even get but no. you do you do you should i bring uh you. know who christopher. just interviewed the [ __ ] tt. who's sucked off who's sucked off son of. sam in prison. wait is that you yeah stefano just did. one of the greatest interviews in. podcast. and he tt his his girl. jasmine is like her aunt or uncle or. whatever i don't know. and she went to prison with she was like. imprisoned with tupac. and she sucked off son of sam so can i.
bring. bring titi we'll talk about sucking off. son of sam. that's fine yeah ben's parents are so. christian. i'll just i'll let her give a speech. let me give some of my speech to tt and. she's like. listen i sucked oh son of sam in prison. all right where's the blue bell ice. cream everybody let's get out to. bluebell.
i mean i'm just happy to meet everybody. finally. n or noah or any of those guys come you. didn't really talk to them that much. i didn't invite any of those guys yeah. you don't talk to that much time to move. on. time to tighten up the circle as beanie. siegel said tighten up the circle before. they hurt you. beanie siegel tighten up the circle. before they hurt you. you know devin and i are coming you got. to pay them huh you got to pay them you. gotta. slide them down and put them up.
they'll be putting the food in a bag. they'll be putting a barbecue in a. plastic bag. and walking out with it they're trying. to they'll try to resell it. they'll try to sell it on etsy authentic. texas barbecue. yeah they'll sell it they'll be. reselling brisket. they'll be on clubhouse figuring out how. to resell brisket. i mean they should come down for it. though they might be fun. oh yeah i told them i was like i don't. want to subject you to having to come.
but you are invited but what did they. say. they're like oh no we we get it like. thank you for letting us not have to. be feel like we have to come you know. mean when's the last time devons got on. a plane or left echo park like at all. yeah they don't they don't leave. no but yeah i like the way they said. they go thank we appreciate you. not making us feel obligated to show. exactly thank you. you good thanks a lot but could you send. us food. but if there's any leftovers can you. send them in the mail.
by the way just send them in the mail if. there's any leftovers. this dhl has some pulled pork. if you don't mind they should come i may. pay them to get them down there yeah. let's bring them down i may fly them. down and i'm flying on tt. what's the what's the barge is it a big. budget what's the budge. is it like 800 000 yeah yeah. it's it's the size of sal volcano's. wedding. i'm i'm wondering what the budget is.
maybe i should pay for the wedding. weddings by the way i was probably gonna. give you more money than the wedding. i offered to pay for the wedding it's. like eighteen hundred dollars like wait. excuse me. like yeah it's a van of barbecue food in. a field i'm like oh. i had no idea what are you gonna wear do. you wear a cowboy hat and [ __ ]. no but maybe i should actually it's not. a bad idea. is katie gonna wear white yeah she has a. wedding dress picked out of course i. haven't seen it but.
what if if i come in an outfit. that distracts from both of you will you. be angry. no like if i come that's like one of you. know. the beginning of the wizard of oz all. the people that are walking around yeah. yeah. can i announce my transition you know. amy schumer announced her pregnancy at. another comic's wedding to just take the. shine right out of her way yeah yeah. yeah. to shine right at somebody else i want. to announce something your wedding i. gotta want to go i'm transitioning.
what if i pulled i showed everyone my. [ __ ] what if i got a [ __ ] if i had my. penis made into a [ __ ]. and i showed everyone my [ __ ] lips i go. look at my [ __ ]. i have a [ __ ] now and i want to show. everyone my [ __ ]. my penis was inverted have i described. it. i stood up and i go i love ben and katie. and i feel so comfortable with everyone. here i want to. tell you my penis was split in half and. inverted. and made into a [ __ ] four days ago.
and i finally got the bandages off now. my my my shaft has been split and turned. into two lips of a puss. and i want to show everyone right now i. just drive with my [ __ ]. and people are like oh my god. katie's father's like that's purdy. that's a pretty [ __ ]. i'm like thank you he's like that's. a real purty [ __ ].
i just wanna i just wanna go and. cause such a scene. dude i'm going. i'm going with tt i'm going okay okay. i'm going with the training who blew son. of sam i'm telling you. that distefano just interviewed i'm. paying her 20 000. and thank you patreon for the ability to. do that i'm going to pay tt. to come to the wedding and tell the. story about sucking off son of sam.
in front of your christian parents. and if that if your wife doesn't like me. then so be it. if she doesn't see the humor in that. then then so be it. and i don't know why you would marry her. it's crazy to me. that she would not see the humor in that. run that by her tomorrow call her and go. okay tim is going to fly. tt who was just. the transgender woman christie stefano.
interviewed. she sucked off son of sam in prison and. tim thinks it'd be great. to have her talk about that at the. wedding. i mean i don't is this a problem i run. it by her i mean. i don't see the problem. i want tt to officiate my wedding what's. her name. look her up even though he can't play it. get this woman's name she's like a. gangster it's titi. i don't know just it's stefano's latest. episode.
i forget. mr6 didn't kill princess joyanna at all. my daughter's lying is nobody racist in. the royal family. the continent of india needed to be. civilized. oh tt jerry tt jerry yeah. she's come to the wedding oh tt jerry's. comfortable. tt jerry there's not much there's like.
nothing about her except for chris's. episode. with her yeah well yeah she doesn't have. a lot going on but that's okay. we're about to change that she's about. to go to your wedding and make a big. splash. what if she sucked off katie's dad. she's like i sucked off that man. and i also stuck to a son of stamp. chris was like did you meet any. celebrities in prison she goes yeah i. sucked off son of sam. it's crazy is it crazy or is it.
beautiful. and dessert is what is it bluebell ice. cream and cobbler the cherry vanilla. yeah we're gonna do cobbler yeah what. kind of cobbler. peach ooh yeah peach. are you a franklin barbecue we might do. franklin's i'm gonna have to check with. katie i forget the two places we were. between. yeah it's very interesting not not a. salt uh whatever that was. do you know you want to hear my wedding. yeah yeah it's on little st james. okay that's number one so it's an.
international waters. okay okay do you know who is the claret. the cleric is a is the guy. from he's that guy that we watch for me. we used to watch an islamic. fundamentalist in brooklyn who's like. had a lot of personality. i forget he was like he goes i like. being on first class. he just talks about death to america but. he goes because i like. traveling first class i think it's good. he's in some like. real crazy mosque in brooklyn where he.
goes i i like i like. nice things the crowds get getting with. it he goes i like flying first class i. don't know about you. they're just waiting to hear what they. should blow up because i i don't know. about you but i like. i like getting on in the play in the. first class. so he's going to be the cleric okay. um my best man. is going to be tt jerry. best woman flower girl okay.
um. i don't know man it's so interesting to. watch you're the closest friend i've. ever had that's like gotten married. where like i'm actually. i felt bad i didn't get a gift for that. other wedding but i didn't give a [ __ ]. about that. no one ever showed up for a dinner yeah. what do i do.
a guy is a tow truck business did you. say hi to them at least and congrats i. don't think i did. i think i did once i think i did once. i think i said gay congrats and then i. just kept walking. rolling yeah i was just walking around. eating lamb chops. and then i left i left like two hours in. people texting me like where'd you go i. said oh i was if it's over. i didn't go to the church salvakana's. wedding we didn't i didn't show up for.
the church the. church and showed her for the food yeah. yeah that's the most recent i went to. mike lawrence's wedding he was a. comedian that was done in like a. backyard though his mom cooked but the. food was very good. um. um but yeah this will be kind of an. amazing. like thing you know you're like the. version like i don't have a brother so.
you're like a brother. it's like watching your brother get. married that you like a lot of people. hate. their siblings so i didn't realize that. i was wanted like siblings and i. realized most people just hate their. siblings. absolutely it's hilarious i had no idea. every siblings i've ever met i'm like. you talk to your brother a lot they. cannot really i'm like interesting. you know let's think about just lane. maxwell's family it's like they were. close. maybe there's something to that you know. what i mean. that's the thing it's like people talk a. lot of [ __ ] like oh.
you know whatever dylan and ronan farrow. seem to be close. it's true this is true right. i don't know. i want to see tt jerry on rogan you. started off on the channel. [ __ ] crazy enough i sucked out son of. sam joe. she sucked off like a murderer like like.
a satanic serial killer. and she's talking about it at your. wedding this is teaching jerry. she's sucked off i'll tell people that. on the buffet line too. i go tt's my date she sucked off son of. sam in prison.
