#238 - Keep Your Mouth Shut | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to tim. dillon show we do apologize for there. being no video we also apologize for our. lateness i don't think we've really. ever been late with an episode before. we may have been but don't bring it up. and the reason that we were late is. because we are traveling. um we are moving the studio across the. country that is also the reason for no. video we were just at whataburger. which is a very average and uh i know.

people get angry when i say that but. i mean i don't understand the hoopla. have people never been out of their. homes. i mean what what is the pride with that. it's it's fine. i mean the barbecue bacon burger is good. but the plain water bur i mean what are. we doing. it's the same thing with in and out you. know devin and ida get really excited. about in and out. you know i mean people get excited about. fast food.

you know and they're not embarrassed. either they're. they shamelessly now taco bell is. different. taco bell is an iconic cultural. experience but. these other places are not uh they're. simply not and i don't know. what to tell you but we did just want to. apologize to that you know. you know you're consuming something. that's completely free so you deserve it. exactly when we. uh give it to you to be quite honest.

most of you some of you are paying for. the patreon but we're. we're always on time with that ben. showed me a video it's still kind of. it's still sits with me. and can we play the audio uh yeah do you. know what i'm talking about yeah i'll. put the audio in right here are we. allowed to put the audio in. um i wonder if it could get flagged. especially this early in the episode. too it's really. heinous i mean not a lot of stuff.

rattles me and this rattled me it's a. murder double murder suicide. in philadelphia over. the shoveling of snow i don't even. it i guess there was a couple and they. were using a snowblower or they were. using. shovels shovels yeah and they were. shoveling snow. onto another dude's driveway onto his.

lawn. onto his lawn yeah and. he there they were at at war. yeah this has been removed from twitter. now if you're trying to find it by the. way. and it's a video of the guy and they're. calling him it's a couple and they're. like. what are you gonna do [ __ ] and it's. like a scene from fargo. i don't know because it's snowing and. it's just blanketed. with snow and then the guy comes. out of his house the guy that the the.

couple is. shoveling the snow on his lawn they're. calling him [ __ ] what are you going to. do. [ __ ] we're going to make your life a. living hell we're going to make your. life a living hell. yeah i mean what a you know. when you say something like that. it gets to people when you choose those. words we're gonna make your life a. living hell. and he leaves his house shoots them. both in the street they're crawling. around in the street. then he goes back into his house what.

does he get an ak-47 ar-15. ar-15 he comes back out. and he he looks at the woman and this is. where i. even as i talk about it it's creepy. you're watching the end of somebody's. life. he looks at her and he goes you should. have kept your mouth shut. and then he shoots her in the head and. then he goes and shoots the husband. it was so viscerally disturbing and i'm. usually not. disturbed i usually don't watch.

executions all the time but i've seen. things. and i'm still this. video for whatever reason lodged. in my head and. it's because. i'm horrified watching it you get a bad. feeling from the moment the video begins. playing. you know something very bad is gonna. happen. it's eerie usually you don't feel that.

but from the minute it starts playing. you go this. isn't something fun this doesn't end. in a fun this isn't a snowball fight. there's something about i don't know. what it is but there's an. energy there you go you know this is. going to go off the rails. you don't know how bad it's going to be. and then when he comes out and he shoots. them both and goes back in. gets an ar then comes back. out and shoots her and he hears the.

thing. and then he kills himself right goes. back inside the cops come he blows his. head off. yeah and. here's the thing right you watch this. guy. shoot a woman point blank in the face. in the middle of a street with an ar-15. and right before he shoots her he says. he goes you should have kept your mouth.

shut and you're watching. it and it's so horrifying. but. now now i have to be delicate here. but three little letters what a word. but. she should have kept her mouth shut. and the last things she's gonna hear.

on this earth is the greatest lesson. she'll ever learn and it's sad. that it had to be that way. i'm not condoning his actions but. there's. something about shooting someone point. blank in the face. and delivering a message that they need. to hear. it's tough to watch.

you could probably find it on the dark. web or something it's floating around. you don't even have to go to the dark. web it's tough to watch i don't even. even know where ben. finds these things i don't know what he. even does i don't know what he does with. his time when he's not with me. i don't know what he does he just sits. in his garage and. watching people murder each other what. what is wrong with him. but i was i felt bad that it ended the.

way it did where everybody died. but i did i did feel. that that woman needed to hear and her. husband. it's not about gender that that woman. needed to hear. those words and it's sad that after that. he shot a point blank in the face. with the ar. but it's it's hard because you watch it. and you just you you watch the video and. you go. you know well number one.

how's the quarantine working out for. everyone. uh because i this probably this might. have happened before the pandemic. or before this you know whatever it is a. pandemic but i mean before this. shut down i don't know this last year. has has sent people. to the edge to the brink and when you. watch this you go yeah this. seems to be something that.

is the result of people being pushed to. their. breaking point and he broke and he shot. this woman and her husband. watching them crawl around on the snow. is so rattling. it's disturbing watching them crawl. around. for a good 60 seconds crawl around on. the stove. watching that is really really disturbed. but but.

but but. they were being very antagonistic. they were this is the thing. it's you it it. they're saying that the guy gonna make. your life living hell. call him [ __ ] [ __ ] what are you gonna. do what are you gonna do and he just had. it. i'm not saying i enjoyed watching it it. disturbed me.

i've covered that but what i'm saying. is that it's very difficult. to not understand. a fraction of the man's anger. he did not handle it in a productive way. you know i was taken back by though like. i i've watched videos that are similar. to that before. never that i found like this freak. but people show me [ __ ] and go look at.

this i go ugh. you know and and this really took a. mental residence in my mind. because it was just this snowy bleak day. in philly. and people it was just hatred on display. like a scene out of fargo like the end. of fargo. it was rough to watch. it made me deeply. sad truly about the future of humanity.

and about the effects that this period. has had on. everybody but. i did like seeing that woman get shot in. the face. because because. sometimes you do want to shoot somebody. in the face point blank. and when he looks at it he goes you. should have kept your mouth. shut and she knows what's coming. and she knows she pushed the wrong.

person and she's laying in the snow. about to get shot in the head this this. episode will get lighter. but as she's about to get shot in the. head she's laying in the street. probably what went through her mind is i. should have kept my mouth shut. maybe i should have kept my mouth shut. and it's hey. sad all around not advocating it. wouldn't do it wouldn't advise it.

tough to watch not good don't go look. for the video it will be disturbing. unless you're into that in which case. it's great. if you're into it don't get into it. don't be that guy. unless this is how you come and try not. to be that guy either. um what were your feelings on the video. because you're the one who [ __ ]. brought it into my life. i'm sorry i'm so slow no i mean i. i think i've i think i've been quite.

clear here it was a it was a mixed bag. it's like this weird like norman. rockwell scene where it's just a couple. shoveling their snow and then all of a. sudden. like within 30 seconds they're both. laying in a pool of their own blood. it's just i mean it's horrific it's a. horrific thing all caught on the. the by the way the videos from one of. those doorbells. like a ring a ring cam yeah and then you. know halfway through it too their. autistic. son runs out the couple to check on them. and then when he sees him coming back in. with the ar-15 he runs off and then.

that's when he does the execution shots. so there's like a whole scene developing. there of them trying to help. the mom and him trying to help his mom. and dad and then the guy just comes back. out. and does the deed well. i'll tell you one thing that kid's not. gonna step out of line. you know you want to talk about a polite. kid. you want to talk about a polite kid.

i watch my mother get shot in a grill. for running her fat mouth and i've. learned. to just let it happen let life happen. and i feel bad for him and i feel bad. for everyone involved here. but is there any better way to ensure. that somebody's gonna be. you know a little passive. i mean by the way those parents were no.

great shakes. for that kid i'm not saying they should. have been executed in front of them. but they were not that was not going to. be. a great life with them you know. maybe there's family maybe the grand the. grandparents took him in i read the. article. better situation better situation. do you think in that woman's high school. yearbook.

she was voted most likely to get shot in. the face. outside of her house while shoveling. snow. because that should be a new category in. philly high school yearbooks it should. be. most likely to get shot point-blank. range by an ar-15. by an angry neighbor who you are. harassing. it would be so much easier to feel bad. for them if they weren't like plus your. part what are you gonna do. buddy that was your whole thing they. were like what are you gonna do you do.

something about it. you know they would just like do. something about it do something about it. do something about it and then finally. the guy stopped. what's interesting is he shot them both. he comes out with what a handgun yeah. with a nine millimeter. and he shoots them and goes that's not. enough and you watch the guy crawl into. the garage. again very disturbing and then he goes. back in the house and you think the. video's ending because she's like call. the cops. and you think oh the video's ending and. and i got to be honest. as a video as a piece of media.

as media it's disappointing. because it doesn't feel like there's. closure. i'm being very honest the guy crawls. into the garage and then the woman is. like call the cop. and she's still being annoying she's. shot. and in the street and still pushing. everybody's buttons. and you're like you know this is. needs a resolution and then he comes out.

with the ar. and a part of you goes oh no. but then a part of you perks up because. you go. just a second ago i said there was not. going to be a resolution here. now i think there might be oh and there. is and and there's something about. the the final words there really is. and again if you know these people i. mean. you know sorry.

there's something about the final words. uh you. should have kept me out she goes you. shoulda kept. your mouth shut. he says that to her and then he just. blows her head away. and. then he shoots the guy then he walks. into the garage and gets him. we don't hear if he said anything to him. i don't think he did.

because it's like it's hard to follow up. where you go you should have kept your. mouth shut boom. and then you're gonna have a real good. line. and now if you don't have joel and ethan. cohen doing it like fargo. you're not gonna have a good line for. the husband. i mean he could have said something like. when he walked into the garage the. husband could have said something like. you know. um i don't even know i'm on the spot now. but if he like looked at him and he was. like. hey you know uh.

i don't know like time for you to join. your wife or something. you know something i don't know. i'm on the spot here it's hard yeah like. a rotten hell really when it worked it. doesn't no. not after not after the very succinct. there's no fat in that sense you should. have kept your mouth shut. there's not one extra syllable he was it. was succinct. it was clear the message was delivered. with precision.

as as are well the shots were as well. but. to then to the husband you got you he. probably walked in there and from split. second was like. do i have something good for him too. and then he was like i don't and i i. just got to shoot him so he shot him. it'd be great if he just had something. good. you know but you know those guys at. philly he'd get hockey. he'd be like say hello to my little. friend like something hacky where you. like oh this is disappointing.

that's the thing about long island any. of my friends. who will certainly do this i i know. people who will definitely shoot people. in the face probably over shoveling snow. but the last thing they say to them will. be such a hacky. dumb derivative line. from like ace ventura when nature calls. like they will say something that has. nothing. to do you know they'll just they'll do a.

jim carrey line from the mask. you know they'll be like smoking. somebody stop yeah somebody stop me like. it'll have not. it will be completely cartoonish and. embarrassing. uh and then they won't my friends won't. kill themselves because they don't have. that level of intelligence. so then the cops they'll have to play. out in court what they said. and they'll be like some guy that was. like going like some neighbor that was.

like. yeah uh i think he yelled say hello to. my little friend. and they're like the line from scarface. yeah he yelled that. and then he shot her in the head. you know like yeah yeah he said nobody. puts. baby in a corner and then shot her in. the mouth. we were confused we didn't know how the. original argument started. no nobody i know from long island would. have like to just say you should have.

kept your mouth shut. it's a real movie. quality line to deliver. and i'm judging i am judging this only. as. media as content i am not. saying murder is good i am saying. as content as content because i'm a. consumer of content. as we all are and when ben showed it to. me i said well this is content. it's content it's a double murder.

suicide he goes. he said to me he goes it's a double he. be warned because it's a double murder. suicide in philadelphia. over uh uh snow shoveling but then i i. settle in. and then i go okay but i'm still. expecting it to be good right i still. want it to be good. and it was good because it's you think. it ends and it does it he goes back in. the house. and then he comes out and he has a great. line so as content and what is it three. minutes. uh two minutes and 20 seconds it's. perfect perfect for twitter yeah yeah. perfect for twitter yeah two minutes and.

20 seconds perfect for twitter. whoa and of course for igtv you put it. on igtv. with a nice cover photo of the guy. standing over the woman with the ar-15. it's content folks don't get sensitive. i'm looking at it as a piece of content. as you should and that guy then goes in. and how does he kill himself what did he. do. uh i think the ar-15 just in the mouth. yeah.

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states special offer for the tim dillon. show listeners. you get 10 off your first month at. betterhelp.comd. that's 10 off your first month with. betterhelp.com. tim d we all know coronavirus. covet 19 is a random devastating. thing we get it probably lab made. more and more credible people are saying. that now that will probably be. uh something that becomes an accepted.

belief. sooner rather than later maybe not a bio. weapon but certainly. a manipulated virus for maybe research. purposes. or a bioweapon we don't know. in some stage of development but a lot. of people are saying that now. and we get it it's incredibly. unpredictable and strange. um but it's a sophie's choice that we we. cannot keep everything closed down we. know that it's not possible.

somebody has to work and then the rage. at like chappelle. and rogan and anyone that's gotten on a. stage and. done stand-up comedy and the rage at. restaurants opening. outside i understand people could. criticize and go hey i do not agree with. this i. i don't think it's but the rage people. that don't understand. that there are as thomas always there's. no solutions here. only trade-offs only.

you know the rage that people have. at small businesses for opening. uh at reduced capacity i can't wrap my. head. around it i think it's that there's a. lot listen. when you read these twitter accounts of. the people that are truly. angry at at people for opening. restaurants or doing comedy shows. does anyone believe that those people.

care about people does anyone think that. that's coming from an. altruistic place that they're concerned. about people's health. or do these people just hate life. and they love the idea that they're not. gonna have to leave their home. and shake somebody's hand and look them. in the eye. and participate in any social situation. and they like that they like it because.

on the internet they have. maybe something going on maybe maybe. they have. 8 000 twitter followers. but in real life many of these people. don't exist truly they don't exist. they're like vapers they're barely there. they are strange. gaunt odd.

anti-social people who hate. real life they have found. solace uh on the internet. which is where they would like life to. stay forever. and i think a lot of that's where a lot. of the rage. comes from like the anger at a. restaurant. and cases are dropping now cases are. falling.

and you know if you can't open up when. cases are falling. and you you can't open up people against. you opening up when cases are. rising when would you open up. well when there are no cases when no one. is sick. what makes no sense. i just read an article in the financial. times they're like some guy this is what. amazes me that people get paid.

to write articles like this a guy goes. like this the financial times he goes. yeah i don't think uh containment with. china is gonna work. you think because yeah because i'm. looking at the stats here and uh. i just don't think we're gonna be able. to contain china. i don't think we're gonna be able to put. him in a box. oh good i'm glad someone wrote you a. check. for that take how studious. and then he went through all the reasons.

martin wolf yeah. he went through all the reasons he's. like yeah china's economy. more powerful than the soviet unions. this that and the other. and it's like yeah yeah it's probably a. bad course of action. to uh and i mean. he's like yeah we're gonna have to learn. to cooperate with them oh yeah. yeah i think so i i would. i would say that that's probably gonna. yeah i don't think we're gonna be able. to. smack them around we're not going to be.

able to run out of our house with an. ar-15 and blow their head away. it's going to be a bit difficult we're. going to have to work together. to get the snow off the street that's. what we're going to have to do. what do you think by the way about your. boy elon musk because i know you love. tesla so much. saying they're going to be fully. self-driving in like what. two weeks he's he's been saying that for. like three years. yeah a lot of people think he's full of. [ __ ] yeah a lot of people think he's.

just foolish but when he says stuff like. that the stock. just goes up a great yeah that's great. good. well i hope when you're in your car and. you're incinerated. the stock price makes you feel. comfortable as you and your wife. are burning to death in your tesla. because this guy told you it was going. to drive you home. maybe it will one day i don't really. know you know. everybody's so goddamn sensitive now so. if elon musk hears this uh we're kidding. elon.

and we don't know if we're kidding yet. we'll let you know. hopefully ben still gets to work every. day everyone is so goddamn sad. you can't say anything about anybody. anymore. without a problem you know like i made. the joke about. eric weinstein alex friedman i was like. on the patreon i go. what have these guys done they're. clearly smart guys. the joke is about the fact that like. yes they're both you know lex is uh. in robotics and everything's brilliant.

guy and eric weinstein's very smart and. everything. but like you know the trans discussion. has sucked all of the oxygen out of the. room so i'm sure these people. have brilliant takes on other issues but. is it fair to say that the trans issue. has been on the forefront and i'm for. one. i'm a little bored of the truck i don't. care anymore. if you cut your tits off or sew a dick.

on. i don't care what you call yourself it. doesn't bother me. if you want to become an uh a woman so. you can. beat them up in a ring i'm almost. for that as long as you look at them. before you do it and go you should have. kept your mouth. shut but what i'm saying is. i'm not saying i'm kid they're clearly. very intelligent people. but like why is everyone now a guru. why do people jump out of their lane.

and they become a guru for every issue. in life no one has any type of. specialization. anymore if peop i mean. everybody is just like like. firing wildly going yeah. i i'm i'm a scientist or i'm this or i'm. that. and also i know everything. about everything i should be your go-to.

for every question you have about any. issue that could ever come up now or in. the future. that's where i get confused it's not. that they're not smart. it's not that they're not they don't. have valuable things to say i just get. confused. as to how everybody immediately becomes. a guru. overnight people just become they just. decide i uh. you got problems i'll tell you what it. is what are we doing today race.

gender sexuality vaccines. what do we got put it on the whiteboard. i got the answer. i got the answer bring it on weather. war religion what's. on the grill today sizzle it up. salt pepper it it's ready to go. i don't have to let anything marinate. i'm ready to go. it's just fascinating that's all that's. all i'm ever saying.

i love everyone who support them. i'm just curious as to how everybody. uh is an expert in every issue that. could. ever arise from any discipline. ever that's interesting to me. that's all and maybe that's the case. maybe it's the case that there are seven. intelligent people. and the rest of the world are hacks and. chills. i don't know that's youtube you go on.

youtube. basically the premise of of youtube is. i get it and everyone else that's ever. lived or studied this issue. is either a bad faith actor. hack shill has been bought off. is a liar is being blackmailed and. i have figured it out and nobody else. has. that's all it's curious to me. it's curious and then if you make jokes.

people get angry at you the people by. the way. who defend jokes. defend comedy and they always go out and. go comedy's being. neutered by the pc police and then you. make jokes about them and they go. ah. actually uh we don't like that. you go well wait a minute i don't. understand. i thought comedians were vital.

so i thought this was a vital activity. what and they go well yeah yeah but i. don't know. i don't know people get angry at you. the same the people get angry at you for. kidding around and you go yeah it's a. joke i'm the comedian you shouldn't take. me seriously. no one should it's a comedy podcast. maybe i say some interesting things. maybe i'm right about some of what i say. but uh it's a goof. i look at [ __ ] that may or may not be. [ __ ] and i call it out.

it may not be [ __ ] and it may be. [ __ ]. but that's where a lot of my comedy. comes from. uh okay and then the people that are. like all these people that are like. you know the comedians are being you. know there's a. the backlash now to the backlash as a. smarter friend of mine has said. is becoming as sanctimonious as the woke. people. the other side of the wok they're they. are now. as boring as the woke you know.

used to watch the woke people and go. jesus christ. shut up and now the other side you're. like. jesus christ you should also shut up. should we just get academics completely. out of public life should we just exile. academic i don't know. but it's just this sanctimonious. all the time the left is waging a war. on your private choices they want. you to be completely and then if you.

you make a few and they're like and they. always love comedy of all these people. because the left is insane and the woke. people do go after comedy. and they do take people's jobs and i. understand that. so the people that recognize that i. applaud and then you go yeah but you're. also a little goofy and then they go who. hello. wait a minute wait a minute. you're giving ammunition to the other. side somebody said that to me they go. when you make fun of those people whom. you agree with i go yeah i agree with a.

lot of them. but they go yeah but if you make fun of. me give ammunition to the other side and. go. but that's the exact argument that. leftists or not leftists per se but. you know liberal or whatever you want to. call them woke. social justice warriors that's the same. argument that they used they said. you can't make a joke about race because. you're a racist and you're giving. ammunition to racist. so if i make a joke about barry why or. whoever the [ __ ] i'm talking about eric. weinstein whatever. i'm giving ammunition to.

the lunatics who think that gender is. you know created. that bill maher created gender or. whatever whatever these [ __ ] lunatics. in san francisco believe. i'm giving ammunition to them because. i've made a joke about someone that. disagrees with them. it's the same sjw playbook it's the same. exact thing. it's actually the same exact thing it's. we like comedy when it fits in the. the box of what we would like it to and. uh. it doesn't really matter it's just. comedy except if it's directed at us. it's a powerful force that must be. vanquished.

it's a powerful force that must be. vanquished unless it is exactly what we. want it to be. make fun of us in the way that you want. us to be made fun of please. thank you thank you they love roasts. all these uh you know the tech people. the people on clubhouse or any of these. guys i i talked to. they're all like yeah comedy's about. roasting. no it's not roasting for the most part. is pretty stupid there are some people. that are brilliant at it. uh geraldo and jeff frost whatever you. go back throughout history.

it's important commit it's like an. important comedic skill. you should every good comic should have. a little bit of it but it's boring. it's it's you know it's it's very. formulaic there's nothing there. you're fat you're gay you're bald you're. black you're the there's nothing there. dummies but some of the most successful. people in the world they love. roasting because god forbid a comedian. say anything. that makes them think and they have some.

existential moment. so they just like can you call them a. [ __ ] please cause i don't know. so when you meet a lot of these people. that are that are successful. they think the comedian's job's like. roast them. yo thrash them you go. trash that guy who can't like. is there anything more boring than that. by the way is there anything more boring. than watching people just trade insults. back and forth what. level i mean i just don't understand but.

that's what a lot of. very smart very successful people love. they love watching people insult each. other. that is their idea of comedy that's what. they think it is. it's just insult pick look at a brown. guy. say he's a terrorist that's comedy. you know it's really crazy but. i don't want to get in the weeds over. this. and then everybody goes then everybody's.

response is like why don't i just come. on the show and we'll hash it out and. it's like no i don't. i don't want to do this for five hours. of a lecture. i don't want to do it i respect you i. think you're smart but at the end of the. day it's like. i'm so deeply suspicious of people who. level accusations. at people and then they themselves. exhibit that behavior it's like the q. anon people who are going away for child. porn. right that wasn't shocking because they. spent 18 hours a day thinking about. child porn so it's also not shocking to.

me that if you call people snowflakes. for years and years and years. and then somebody says something about. you and then you actually become the. snowflake. because it's like oh you are intimately. acquainted with the idea. of what a snowflake is because you are. exhibiting those characteristics. yourself. you know it's one of the other folks. either comedy doesn't matter and it's. fun. and you can like it or not and take from. it what you want. leave the rest or it's an important.

social force. that everyone needs to govern pick one. please pick one can't be everything. can't be everything it can't be like hey. it's just a joke and then. when it's about something you don't like. you go whoa wait a minute. i saw that after the white house. correspondents dinner with michelle. wolfe. when she did that and then everybody. came in all the same people that were. like dudes left us your snowflakes and.

michelle. made a few jokes about trump and these. people lost their goddamn mind. i'm just learning i'm just learning. that's all i'm doing here get mad at me. i'm insignificant. i don't matter yeah i have an audience. because we have fun and we say funny. stuff. and some of it makes a lot of sense. that's not my fault. that's not my fault you know when i make.

fun of gary vee i don't hate gary vee. he's probably a really good guy i'm sure. he's helped people. but the advice he gives is very vague. and general. it's uh ridiculous. the words he uses and the uh the way he. arranges them. is ridiculous so for somebody to not. call that out is uh that i wouldn't be. doing my job. if i pulled up garyvee quotes and read.

them aloud. and said now that i've told you these. things go start a business. you would look at me like i was on i was. smoking. rock cocaine smoking crack you'd go wait. what. and i'm like yeah you know kindness is. speed and empathy is. uh marketing is queen and content is. king and. you know gratitude is whatever go go do. it now. your gratitude is uh gratitude is speed.

what whatever he's saying but i'm sure. he's a smart guy and i'm sure. he said things that have value to. certain people. but it's funny imagining people trying. to. fashion a sense of what the hell is. going on in their life and in their. business. from the quotes that dribble out of his. mouth it's you know. which is why like you can go to dinner. with people and you can become friends. with people. and i talked to a big comedian once it.

was like jeff bezos invited me to like. his summer camp once and the big. community was like yeah i didn't want to. go. because you start to realize as a comic. you're not supposed to be that tight. with any of these people. because you're gonna have to make fun of. them or something they do. and they're just gonna get angry with. you because they want to own you. they just want to own you you know what. i i. you know so and they're not they're not. like. evil malevolent people they just like. anybody. want to control you they see you they're.

like you're a jester. i wanna i wanna own you and i. i want you to poke fun at the things i'd. like you to poke fun at. but i don't want you to say things i'm. not comfortable with. and that's why it's just funny and i'm. like. really insignificant compared to the. person who told me the story about pesos. but. when you even the people that i'm kind. of friendly with now or. in a i know who they are they know who i. am. we maybe go to dinner and maybe i see. them out and they uh you know.

or they they have some appreciation for. what i do. they like you until. you cross a line and there's always a. line there's always something. that you shouldn't say or can't say and. as a comic. you got to make a decision you go am i. going to be one of the late night guys. that goes on stage and reads. propaganda that's handed to them five. minutes earlier and then they got it to. like go like. yeah the wall street bats uh people are.

russians. but um like you know like poor jimmy. kimmel's gotta run out there and go. yeah the russian disruptors. uh in wall street bets because it's. again he didn't have that thought. does anyone think jimmy kimmel had that. thought i think jimmy kimmel came up. with that. on his way to work he left his mansion. on the way to work he goes. you know who i bet's doing this i bet. it's russian disrupt. no it was handed to him god only knows.

how they got into the writers room. there's somebody from the cia in the. writers room which isn't hard to do. you know. so diversity higher right out of langley. here's your new writer. nawazi nabobolo. nawazi where do you come from uh uh. false church virginia shut up don't. worry about it. uh here's the monologue today uh go out. and say they're russian disruptors. uh okay you know.

uh here's your new head writer gina. haspel. if you get if you're smarter you get. that but like. that you get that's what you got to do. you got to stay wait that's why now it's. my first episode of taxes i'm in the. hill country. and nobody's told me nobody's like uh. nobody's a fan of rips at. and it doesn't mean that i don't value. what like i have said on my show i think. eric weinstein is an. ally and somebody who i agree with. and i think the version of the world he.

would like. is much sim more similar to my own. than the version of the world that his. enemies. would want but that doesn't mean i can't. make a joke here i mean this is absurd. and it's just a little crazy you know. it's a little it's a little crazy. i don't want to be the guy that gets. handed uh notes. to to say uh in between you know ads for. home depot. it's not what i want to do so i i just.

got to be a little careful i think you. got to be looking for. i think when people start knowing who. you are and you start becoming friends. with people. and whatever there's weird pressures to. like come down on this side of this or. that side of that. and whatever people want us to have. lunch with all these people now and we. go no. you men go i don't want to have lunch. with you i want to have lunch with these. people. like writers you know writers. journalists want to have lunch with us. for what. why i don't know there's something about. that. where i go oh you want something.

you want something and i don't i don't. i'm i'm not interested. in uh sitting down with you and hearing. your. spiel i know the spiel. you know i we see it all the time. these people aren't exactly shy. need to have lunch with them you know. i would like to have lunch with jordan. peterson. because he's a guy that's very.

interesting. um to me and i think he's been through a. lot of interesting stuff i think i'm. doing michaela's podcast yes yes. can we have a little fun with the. intellectual dark web. that's all i'm saying can't we poke fun. at the can't you get a little. fun made of you guys and gals. we don't have to get uh our. gender gender-conforming panties in a. twist. we can just enjoy they go that guy yeah.

that guy that fat idiot just says what. he wants he's an idiot. that's the response you know but. you know that's right that's where i. live on all this stuff. you can't get too deep into any of these. worlds. because your job is to really try to. make fun of everybody so you know you. can't get it's not a crusade. it's not it's not my problem hey.

it's not my problem that your daughter's. soccer going to be taken by a trans guy. i don't know. i may not agree with it but what do you. want how many hours a day do i devote to. that. how many hours a day am i supposed to. devote to that before i just go yeah i. don't. know what to tell you i've i've been. clear about the way i feel about it. if somebody's four and wants to wear a. dress let them wear it i wouldn't start. shooting them up with hormones that.

would be my take. but again what am i supposed to do what. am i. i don't understand you're the vaccine. don't love that. but it you know maybe it's better than. covet hopefully i don't know. you'll probably need it to travel i'll. probably need to do my job i'm not. excited about it. what do you want me to do. you want me to go to go. to vaccination sites or right before. somebody gets a needle. just go what's going on here really.

god i don't really know about this. it might be good it might not be your. wife just got the second though. [ __ ] her all up but she got back in. two days which means it'll take me two. weeks. they won't even give me this they'll. shoot me up with something i'll [ __ ]. i'll spontaneously combust you know. i'll look at who's giving me the vaccine. i go why is barry weiss giving me the. vaccine. dead right on i'll be dead on the floor.

you know i'd love to have her and i'd. ask you a question i go. you love free speech but imagine. i imagine this now i know i'm an. irishman. imagine do you want to play imagine with. me imagine. i am a palestinian professor at columbia. now let's play a game. let's play dress-up i'm a palestinian.

professor at columbia. how do we feel about free speech now do. we like it. still we're gonna have anna from red. scaron. she said her mom and her sister really. liked the show and i'm i'm i'm. that makes me really happy but it really. makes me happy. if they watch it while like sitting in. brighton beach just smoking. packs of cigarettes and they probably. don't but just don't ruin it. i just hope that they watch the show.

just smoking packs of cigarettes. sitting in a small apartment in brighton. beach with like the window cracked open. a little bit. there's like a picture of stalin on the. wall they're just playing the soviet. anthem they got some borscht. on the [ __ ] stove do people make. porsche in their home i guess they. i think they do yet i'm hoping and. they're just they're just smoking and. there's just clouds of smoke there's. like a russian blue cat or something. you know i don't know.

she'll probably i'll probably hear from. her after this she'll go yeah you know. they don't really like the smoking humor. all right well you know what everybody. can go scratch. everybody's sensitive that was the big. baby. the woman who towed the car to texas i. said. i got the car because the car was dirt. she wrote dirty. on the intake form for the car right. cause it's dusty right so i wrote hey i. got it dusty i got it dirty i wanted to. fit in in texas she's like well that's. not nice.

like how about you laugh a little bit. enjoy. what's left of your life stop defending. everything. [ __ ] christ already with these people. you know where it ends if you can't. laugh you know where it ends. you end up shooting a woman point blank. range in the face. in the middle of the street in philly. that was probably a guy too. who has seen the show yeah probably.

whether he was a fan or not. he is censored yeah ex-military yeah. oh he's seen the show yeah now you know. about it. were they having a uh was this uh a war. that had been going on for a while. supposedly it was building to this. moment yeah an ongoing thing. and he had asked them to stop shoveling. the snow onto his lawn to his credit. he he tried to be nice about the whole. thing you know so i don't know. i don't know man i don't know either.

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back. with a video episode next week with the. studio we're just. we we're trying to get our custom desk. through the door here. it's very tough you know we try to do. the right thing. it's a beautiful home you know we got a. lot of electric stuff. i'll get a cook over an electric stove. like a monster. you need gas you need gas but whatever. i'm not complaining i'm just saying you. know. what are you gonna do this is life now i.

can't move every two months this is i'm. settling in. i'm settling in take a breath. and exhale um. uh we're just trying to set the studio. up it's been it's proven a little more. difficult than we had imagined. because these are this is what our. clubhouse another notification from. clubhouse. what's going on now a clubhouse let's. see what's going uh. clubhouse now uh.

zuckerberg is doing a room with lindy. england. uh the uh remember the cigarette girl. from abu ghraib. that should be interesting remember the. one who was. sun clubhouse mark zuckerberg. lindy england from abu ghraib are doing. a room on. clubhouse. she's me and ray's favorite go-to joke.

reference because most people have no. idea who she is. she's the girl that posed with the. cigarette. [Laughter]. that would be great if that was your. avatar on clubhouse. i'm gonna do a room after this on. clubhouse how to be a cancer influencer. just because you're terminally ill. doesn't mean you can't build a brand. how to be a cancer influencer i did. something else i did uh how to build. your brand while you're incarcerated.

prison influencer it's so important. you know those are rooms at clubhouse. and people just just just. just talk and whine all day. because there's also there's smart. people that are whatever doing whatever. the hell they're doing inside of. training probably. and then there's everyone else who's. just whining you know there's not enough. representation in this fake. conversation they're having they're like. uh we don't have enough women of color. here in this. room about uh whatever it is you know.

they're like you know like you you'll go. on clubhouse and it'll be like. uh hi we're we're starting a room. to just try to address the lack of uh. uh indigenous music producers. and we're just trying to. we found that there's there's not a lot. of native american. lesbians producing. trap music so we're bringing on.

and then all these people are terrified. like because real people get on and. they're like tariffs they have to be. like. she'll bring in like a big dj and he'll. have to be like yeah. yeah i ah that bothers me too. he's all coked out in miami he's like. what is this. people don't even know they get into a. clubhouse room they don't even know. what's going on there's like a thousand. people listening what they say. they think they're talking to their. friends it's some coked out. dj miami's he's talking to his friend. all of a sudden it's like no uh.

what's her name my buddy from the new. york times who never mentions me. taylor lawrence she's watching. she just tweeted someone said [ __ ] on. clubhouse because somebody said the r. word on clubhouse. and nobody uh nobody corrected them. jesus and i forget who it was it was one. of these big finance guys. they get on they're thinking it's their. friends they're like can you believe. these retards. and then there's a thousand people there. listening to it. and some of them are journalists they're. just trying to screenshot they're trying.

to like screen record or whatever. right jesus. who's she dropping a dime on don't say. the names i don't want to be a rat too. let me see some guy who follows me on. twitter i don't know what he does. she's dropping a dime on him because he. said the r word. i don't know what that means i i imagine. it means a not nice word for the. disabled. let's see. you know what you know what's funny.

about these people too they also will. then. snitch on people and then delete it did. she delete it she might have let me see. can you imagine that just hanging out. clubhouse room snitching. like i hope i hope we get the co-founder. of tinder. saying something inappropriate. because i'm a journalist. someone named felicia who who even is. felicia i don't know why what happened. she was the one who said the r word.

and then someone named mark also said it. or ben said it she's naming all these. people by the first name i don't even. know. is it a joke should we give her the. benefit of the doubt it's not a joke. maybe. no i don't think it is i don't think. it's a joke she's just. ratting out maybe she didn't understand. the room the clubhouse room that she. went in was called the [ __ ] room. where everyone gets to say the r word. and nobody rats. yeah she has like a time stamp for. youtube she's like at 405 you can hear. ben say alex maybe you could take us. through the. [ __ ] revolution i hope everyone who.

uses word can think more carefully about. why people in the audience were upset. how about everybody in the audience gets. off the app and goes and gets a job. because you know why i'll tell you why. you should have kept your mouth. shut god. everyone in the audience is upset you're. listening to someone's conversation. that's a weird thing about clubhouse. it's like. you're listening to a conversation of. people that would never even.

acknowledge your existence on earth. that's how they. talk i just wow that echoed. they're gonna throw me out of this area. pretty soon but this is how they [ __ ]. talk these people. don't you want to hear them speak when. you take a safari. you don't want to see the cheetahs. eating dinner with a tablecloth. you want to see them tearing apart other. animals because that's how they live. so why would you want these tech bros to. be like well i.

actually believe that no let them speak. how they speak when they're on some. [ __ ] [ __ ] bike ride in silicon. valley they're thrown around. much worse than the r word. the tech bro such an interesting. creature yo bro. bro you gotta roast somebody you gotta. yo let's. trash somebody you gotta roast you gotta. roast somebody you're a comedian. i got an app it's like it's like. instagram but just for pictures of. cliffs.

you know what's funny about this too is. she deleted her original tweet. where she accused someone of saying the. r word and then someone who was in the. room corrected her. and then so then she deleted that and. said it was actually this person so she. was slandering somebody. then deleted it and then said it was. actually this person i mean it's just. well she's a journalist ben. she's a great journalist and it's a. great profession of journalists we have. in this country. you should have kept your mouth shut.

it's a great profession of journalists. sitting around on clubhouse trying to. catch tech bros being. inappropriate how about reporting on the. hell. world they've created about how about. you do a little research to dark money. where it's coming from. are you worried if that you do that. somebody throw you out of a plane. trying to catch people saying the order. could anything be less important in this. [ __ ] nightmare world right now than. who said the r word on clubhouse.

we can't get medicine to sick people. we should just give everyone health care. and before they get it call them a. [ __ ]. you think they would care do you think. they would care. hey you could go to the doctor [ __ ]. you'd be like thank you. thanks a lot. i don't know anymore folks i'm out of. the game. i'm retiring we'll have a video we'll. have video.

up next week. we'll try to we're trying we're trying. very hard you know we're we're uh. you know we're trying we're doing. everything we possibly can here. tomorrow's the super bowl do you care. who wins. maybe the bucket here should win huh. make dan kearney happy it's tampa. one for florida yeah why not who cares. tom brady. you know yeah sure he's he's had a rough.

life. he's just finally something good happens. to him. i don't know i just hope no one says the. r word. i hope people are in locker rooms. reporting on who's saying the r word. i hope that that that's my only hope i. hope there's an r. word ticker like the nasdaq on clubhouse. where everyone who says its name just. goes. you know what a weird app i could see. that app being like the biggest thing.

ever and i could see everybody in a. month going [ __ ]. this [ __ ] sir it's hard to know. hard to know which way that's gonna. which way that's gonna go i'm not. invested in it so i don't have uh. i don't have anything to say about it. but i do enjoy it i do enjoy it it's a. lot of fun. i just don't know uh for how long i'll. enjoy it i mean the rooms are so funny. in there. it's like some of them are really good. but then some of them like i'm on it. right now. and it'll be like you know.

it'll be like uh. yeah i mean dude it's weird. people be like let's talk about gen z. i love some of the rooms. conspiracy theories real or fake with. facts. public speaking on clubhouse oh dr. steven greer is live. alien threat hoax exposed yeah. i got into trouble the other day too.

because i said is he legit on clubhouse. and people started getting mad at me i'm. there like he briefed. five presidential administrations like. is there any proof of that. they're like what i'm like i'm just. asking a rational question. mr and there might be by the way maybe. he has. i don't know i'm asking a question. and i and then i get attacked for asking. a question if there's proof that he. briefed because so did i then i brief.

the last three presidential. administrations on aliens. and by the way who are you briefing are. you from the president are you briefing. somebody that answers the phone at the. white house. because during the trump days like. donald trump jr would like answer the. white house phone. and probably talk to you for an hour and. you could just call up and talk to him. back he went on and he'd go uh that. sounds interesting. i'll tell pop so i you know. can we can we define who we mean when we. say we've briefed the white house.

on aliens you mean the president or do. you mean like. someone in his orbit you know. the stars here in texas are very pretty. i'll tell you that. they are very pretty you know. they're sh do you think they and. shooting stars do you ever see shooting. stars out here. oh yeah because they were a lot in the. desert mm-hmm yeah you see them out here. too.

do they dye their hair five times on the. way down. anyway. as always folks uh. thank you for listening to just return. for a minute. to that video because it is a haunting. video and i don't want you to go find it.

i don't want you to go watch it because. it is disturbing. truly um. but wow what a video. just in terms of content. they tell an entire story in two minutes. and 20 seconds. you know just crazy.

it's in plains township by the way i. don't know if that's in philly but. i think that's philly it's in. pennsylvania yeah. another clubhouse room gone wrong. what a haunting image. of that guy very sad. very sad you know but. what can you do you know.

this is what happens this is what. happens when people are pushed to their. break don't push. anyone of their break you don't know. who's at their brink you don't know. who's. you don't know who's about to blow you. don't know what their breaking point. is you know. you just don't know folks you have to be. a little careful out there you don't. understand. maybe it's one r word and they're ready.

to take out the ar-15. you don't know you don't know. you know they could be one. getting one tweet away. from the end i don't know it was. really it may have been the worst thing. i've ever seen. it's pretty bad yeah it's up there it is. up there.

with the worst things. i've ever seen. but. i'd watch it again.