#233 - Airbnb War | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the tim. dillon show i. feel i have a hundred and four fever. i have a dry cough i have shortness of. breath i have blood clotting. and i refuse to get tested and i refuse. to change my behavior. and i don't know if i have coven but i. have a dry cough. and i have blood clots and i have. tightness of chest and shortness of. breath and i have 104. fever and i have blue toes.

and i'm speaking perfect mandarin. which is amazing i wake up every day i. speak. perfect mandarin i don't know what i. have. the jury is out no i'm kidding i do feel. horrible though. because ray has been here for a week and. uh. i mean this has been i've this this week. i've been. so i've treated myself worse this week. it is ballsy in a pandemic people don't. realize what balls is anymore in this.

country. it's ballsy during a pandemic to eat ice. cream cake. and smoke a pack of cigarettes every day. it's ballsy. there is no er like or. whatever the icu i don't even know what. these. but no one there's no capacity if you. show up to a hospital in california now. they just smack you across the face. and every day i'm eating. ice cream cake and cigarettes because.

raymond is here and i mean it's just a. celebration. you know he drinks what is that a liter. what is that a two liter of the diet. sodas. like three times cokes yeah yeah well. and he loves the ciggies loves them and. it's hard it's hard. i got we went to coldstone and got two. ice cream cakes for new year's. after the new year's uh thing we did a. lot of fun thanks to tina 40. alex was dark it was dark.

some people commented it was a little. dark you know. he said the a jellyfish in it i don't. know. people are going to get mad you should. have pushed back. you didn't debate him yeah man i don't. know. i don't know how to have that argument. imagine you were sitting there and a guy. turns around and goes that vaccine's got. jellyfish in it. really the only thing you can say is. [ __ ] really.

is that is that okay. and then he started talking about the. lazarus gene and a woman who cells. kept replicating henrietta lacks. a black woman who's was eaten by the. blob. he was saying yeah well yeah cells. turned into like. her cells are still alive yeah but this. had something to do with fouchy. yeah i was confused. but i don't know anymore i just don't.

know i just know that i got gotta really. stop eating ice cream cake and smoking. butts every day. i mean just i burnt my mouth. my mouth feels horrible my skin feels. like it's cracking off my face. i mean it's just bad. i i just feel so unhealthy and that's. why i'm making a change. this year i'm making a very big change.

and i'm switching to ultra lights. i'm going to do a pack of no i'm kidding. my friend's father used to smoke those. marlboro ultralights it was like air. yeah what's the point you know. they're like basics yeah i just feel. like. garbage and i mean do they still make. them still make the ultralight i don't. think so no. yeah it's an old school pack i'm getting. a personal trainer in here i mean my. personal trainer got covered. that's his level of commitment he's that.

guy got coveted. i hired a trainer he got coveted. so this is where we're at my personal. trainer is sick. what am i supposed to do except go to. cold stone and get two ice cream cakes. and a pack of marlboro lights. and eat ice cream cake and marlboro. lights in the back and that's. real ball that's badass [ __ ]. people think bad ass [ __ ] is throwing. parties.

i'm i'm taking as many chances as any of. these tick tockers throwing a big. orgy i'm sitting in my backyard. smoking cigarettes with my morbidly. obese friend. who's what is he four five four or. something yeah yeah. i mean what are you gonna do it's it's. you're you're really. taking a risk with your life and i can't. live like that i feel. horrible you feel really bad. when you eat like the worst food.

ever you feel bad i just feel bad my. throat my nose i just everything about. me you you. felt kind of bad the other night yeah i. felt bad this yesterday morning again. i mean you just feel like [ __ ] you want. to do yoga i mean i'm living in l.a i. should be doing yoga. i should be in the sun i should be. outside not to smoke. to [ __ ] you know i should be spray. painting nancy pelosi's garage.

what did they say on her garage cancel. rent. pull it up no one's canceling rent i. mean. you know listen all these things would. be nice but. 2k cancel rent we want everything. with a pig and some blood. well it's nice that these people calm. down after uh trump lost huh. that was what i thought would happen by. the way hey egg on my face. but i get it cause this you know these.

people have done nothing for anybody so. if this is real and this happened and. it's not. nancy pelosi out there doing it with her. husband. um she paid some neighborhood kid to. come over and do this. she's like we're getting we're getting a. little heat let's just let's put some. lamb's blood on the door here. so we can get some sympathy points from. people. but i mean i get the rage and the anger. at this woman. i you know i'm not a fan but uh.

cancel rent we want everything. i mean well what do you think you're. gonna get. i mean i don't even know anymore about. the two thousand dollar checks. are they coming who's getting them don't. know yet is hilaria baldwin getting two. grand. i hope she does who cares that she wants. to be a hispanic. it makes you interesting it's nice when. someone puts on an accent. i like that being who you are is stupid.

truly be another thing. if you're not interesting make yourself. interesting. and she's like she wanted to be like. penelope cruz or. catherine zeta jones or one of them. catherine zeta jones spanish uh let me. see. well whatever it doesn't matter let's. not lose our [ __ ] minds here. the point is that she wanted to be a. spanish lady. so what she wanted to be a high-class. immigrant let her let her be it.

stop getting mad at her i'm i defend her. i defend her right to envision a. different life. for herself than the one she had she. married the psychopath millionaire. and and she goes it's not good enough. because i go to parties and everyone. goes oh you're just this guy's [ __ ]. i want to be something interesting and. you know those white [ __ ] love as. someone is slightly different. white people love when someone is.

slightly different which is what she. is it's slightly different it's not that. different. she's not in ms13 she's not in la raza. and i'm not equating those two things. i'm just saying she's not selling uh. you know uh mango with paprika in soho. she's slightly different ever so. slightly she's different. she's a few degrees away from a basic. white [ __ ]. let her be it she's not sister soldier.

she's just different enough to make. upper class white people. it's a little spice it's a little spice. i don't see the problem with it she's. not. going all the way here she's just doing. that coma said he said cucumber. i don't know how you say cook up though. it's cute. it's kind of cute it's endearing. it's cute it makes me like her more the. commitment. to that is is impressive to me i'm.

impressed. by her that she goes i just want to be a. little she's clearly not hispanic. at all in any meaningful way. but she just wants to be a little bit. people don't realize how hard it is to. be rich. that's the problem too many people are. focused on like. oh i don't have health insurance my. mom's dead. there's no appreciation for the. struggles of the wealthy in this country.

none it's true you know. it it's too much focus. on people without and not enough about. people. with hilaria baldwin. is thrust into this world of very. interesting capable intelligent people. and she's got no way to differentiate. herself she's a basic white [ __ ]. she's a live laugh love chardonnay [ __ ]. and she just [ __ ] lucked out. with that alec baldwin who's you know. always you know telling his daughter.

she's a pig and. punching photographers and doing a. horrible trump impression by the way. on that horrible show on saturday night. you should watch this. and she meets these people and they're. endlessly fascinating and they've had. distinguished careers in the arts and. politics or whatever. and she just wants to be a smidgen. different just a little different. than a regular white [ __ ] she just. wants to be a little. cool and have people ask her what was it. like in spain what was that. like you're different from we are did.

you sit and paint little tiles and make. tapas. did you eat jamon that's what she wants. she wants people to ask her. and she would tell stories probably fake. little stories and me and my grandmother. i'd not speak to her and we go to the. village and we make. we take the pig and we carve the pig. into the jamon. that's all she wants to do i'm in full. support of her. would it heal the country if the cops. shot her imma do the aisle i'ma do. diallo style.

like 41 times against saks fifth avenue. perhaps. if the cops just shot her 41 times as. she drops her bags at bergdorf goodman. and just empty. emptied into her i mean would people be. happy with that. perhaps but i don't know we don't have. to keep shaming this woman for wanting. to be slightly different. what's the problem i like it go right. back to it i hope she's asian next. how interesting it would be what if one.

of your friends just became asian you. wouldn't respect them more. if i had a friend that became asian i. would respect them. so much more than i currently do just. found a way to like. be asian like start looking asian. dressing asian. creating an entire identity as an asian. person saying they. grew up in asia saying they grew up in. japan when it was just. provably untrue that would be your. coolest friend. because you'd be like this person's. asian now i knew her when she was an.

asian and that's where we're gonna add. i mean somebody tweeted on twitter the. other day gender is not a big deal. that's why nobody cares about. transgender why we all have to be the. race we're born. let people switch yeah yeah that makes. sense let people be fluid baby let. people be flee you want to be black and. be black. you want to you know there's you know. that's a mixed bag. according to black people they'll tell. you it's not all nice. uh but let people be asian. i would like to be another race why why.

do i have to be an irish. prick for my entire life this red face. irish ranting goblin for my entire. goddamn life. why can't i be castilian spanish like. i'm nice white spanish. or why can't i be asian why can't i be. russian i don't understand that and i. think it's a. stupid kind of [ __ ]. outdated thing so i applaud her. and and whatever she wants to do i. support her i think that [ __ ] people get.

angry about this [ __ ]. for no goddamn reason i mean. she's just a little different she's not. she's not like walking around trying to. be a maid she's not trying to be a lower. class. person she's trying to be upper she's. still she's not. she's not stabbing her class in the back. here she's still going to garden parties. and drinking [ __ ] viv. click o she just does it with a little. accent it would be really. uh gross if she like was pretending to.

be a maid or something right. because we'd all be like you don't have. to do this [ __ ] it would be really bad. if she was pretending. to do something like that but she's just. putting on a little accent kind of the. way madonna did. it's really not that big of a deal. speaking of maids my maid. is as fat and as lazy as i am what's the. point of having her. she come the other day and i can't she's. in here no mask i don't know where she's. been. she's in here the other day in my. kitchen and we're both silently eating a. pumpkin loaf. not no one's cleaning if i want i'm fat.

and lazy i don't need another fat and. lazy person. to just stare at me you know i mean i. don't know what to do with this woman i. like her and i tip her and i give her a. lot of money. but she's slow and she just doesn't do. much. she talks on the phone she's on a phone. it's literally me. i'm bringing in another me to my house. she's on the phone all the time. it takes her forever to go through go. through the house. i'm just i'm importing another version.

of myself here. but that's not what hilaria is doing. hilarious not cause people ask me to. talk about this they're like. what's your take on it i'm like i think. rich people should be able to pretend to. be. other races i believe that. sorry maybe that's not a popular take. but i believe it's. fun and they should be allowed to do it. and i think many people are going to. disagree with me because they're like. but she's not pretending to be like a. poor oppressed per if she was doing. blackface and had dreads.

i get it it would be a little offensive. it would be offensive if she was in full. black face with like a bob marley wig. and she's like hey man what's a dual mod. like i understand that okay. but she's not doing any of that she's. just pretending to be an upper-class. hispanic person. which is just a few degrees to the left. of what she is which is just a basic. white [ __ ]. there's nothing wrong with that i i am. for. the ability of rich people and poor.

people if they can pull it off. it's like mark norman has a joke about. transgender people it's like you know. caitlyn jenner can do anything she wants. she's got the money so like if you're. poor and you could pull off being. another race good for you. but rich people should be able. to to try on another uh. country's history if they so choose. i don't see a problem with it i don't. see any problem it doesn't bother me at. all. i would love someone if in the middle of.

a thick russian accent they whispered to. me goes. listen i decided to be russian three. years ago i'm not russian i decided to. be russian three years ago and i came up. with this whole backstory and it's it's. just fun. life is too short to enforce these rigid. roles on people it's crazy many of you. are offended by it because it's you why. don't you cook up something good. you figure out how to do something you. know. what else is going on i just wanted to. address that because i feel like people. are.

being unnecessarily harsh. immigrants are heading back to mexico. now yeah. see this is what i mean if i saw hilaria. baldwin. with a bunch of coyotes in a van heading. back to the border going it didn't work. i would say this is a bit much but she's. not doing that years of anti-immigrant. policies from the trump administration. have been. magnified by insecurities resulting from. the pandemic yeah i think it was more. the pandemic. yeah people are going back they're. saying let's go back to mexico which is.

a narco state on our southern border for. good reason it supplies us all this blow. by the way. there's no reason to have just a narco. state on our southern border if we. weren't propping that up. and getting everything we want from it. it's our personal pharmacy. sitting below america and i'm sure. somebody else has said that but it's. absolutely true. that's why we have a narco state there. so people can go and get there. go down a [ __ ] tulum and have a nice. weekend. that's exactly what this is so they're. going back there. and um you know it's unfortunate but uh. or.

i don't know i don't know it's it's all. about uh. i don't care anymore this is the problem. with the news is i i can't care anymore. about any event it's like. there's nothing going on to even care. about anymore go. come i don't know there was this that. was interesting. national police defend response to the. yeah. why because everyone's going to say the. national bomber was white. yeah and they knocked on his door twice. and they gave up yeah yeah. listen everybody everybody in this car. here's why. i'm not saying the police aren't racist.

but here's the problem with this. everybody in this country. is is is three to four days away from. detonating a bomb somewhere. that's every person if the cops went to. every that's every commenter on my. youtube. every person in america is three to four. days away from just getting a [ __ ]. gun. and going hog wild somewhere it's just. we're on the edge everybody's on the. brink so they can't waste their time. with every tip for every crazy dude.

who's. [ __ ] on the brink i'm three to four. days away i'm doing okay i'm doing well. and i'm three to four days away from. building a bomb and detonating outside. of. billy eilish's house so what are you. going to do you're going to check me out. on that and i'll probably get up on that. fourth day and decide not to do it. because i've had a mcgriddle or. something i don't know but most people. are in lured fantasies of murder people. in this country are only kept alive. by two fantasies one getting really rich. and two burning it all down those are. the only things people go to bed at.

night. thinking about murdering everyone they. know and. having a [ __ ] lamborghini those are. the two things in america. that unite us as a culture literally the. only two. that's the problem it's like they tried. to enforce that thing with kids. uh school shooters kids make lists of. people they're gonna kill and they're. like. we should but yeah but you should be. allowed you should be allowed to sit. there in the back of your marble. notebook and. you know i'd really like to blow their. heads off. steve you know sharon paul.

you're allowed until you do it until you. load the gun and go in there and do it. this preventative [ __ ] gets a little. creepy because most people are just. fantasizing all the time about killing. everyone that they know. that's absolutely true and if you're not. well god bless you but you're missing. out on the whole experience of america. the whole experience of america is. thinking about getting away with the. murder of your spouse. going nuts in your office and blowing.

everyone's brains out. or finding a way to [ __ ] invest. successfully in a time. share that's it there's really nothing. left to do. psychologically in this country we are. so drugged up on cheap food and booze. and pills. we can barely see straight we have no. idea what's going on we have no health. care. we have no insurance there's no. education people are [ __ ]. stagnant wages have stagnated for. [ __ ] decades. and the you know people have just jerked. all the come out of their dicks they're.

on too many [ __ ] pills to even come. they're just. coming air they can barely feel the. sensation of the tip of their penis. women have to shove [ __ ] hot pokers. in their vagina to get an orgasm. the only thing we have left is to. fantasize about the murder and. destruction. of our communities let us have it. you can't respond to everybody who talks. a little wildly at a bar about settling. scores. because every day you just yeah. did you say you were going to show.

everyone at your office that you're a. real [ __ ] man. and you were going to end this once and. for all i quote. you're going to get respect one way or. the other i. quote and you're not going to be happy i. quote and when you see what i'll do to. you you. won't be happy you better run run i'll. get like it's just. every day so many. fantasies of of murdering people. and you can't no obviously maybe they. should have done.

more it clearly seems like it now. i mean hindsight is always 20 20 right. it's 20 20. but the fantasy life that we. all have has been magnified by the. internet it's been magnified by our. ability. to tell other people about these. fantasies and have them go that's a good. idea. and and it just because but that's why. you need comedy and that's why you need. freedom of speech that's why you need. all of these spaces for people to. release tension and say all this [ __ ]. and get it out. so that they don't do it because a.

percentage of them are going to do it. but it's important for people to let to. have these fantasies. you know what i mean it's important. probably porn even the porn has so many. negative effects it's important to have. a little porn so people don't you know. put their wife's head in the bag. so they go let me wat let me get off to. something. instead of making my wife do it i. shouldn't choke my wife till she turns. blue. but if i watch somebody get choked till. they turn blue maybe i get it out of my. system. that's porn it's a fantasy life it's not.

real. sex doesn't feel like porn ever really. unless you're. amazing at it in great shape sex is. different. than the depiction of sex as is murder. i've never. murdered anyone but it looks amazing. watching the life. leave someone's eyes looks great it. looks amazing you and a buddy you and. your best bud go and just [ __ ] murder. someone you know. just [ __ ] blood everywhere and just. [ __ ] stabbing someone.

but in real life that activity is. probably. different it feels different right but. you should be able to fantasize about it. you need you need these things so it's. hard to live in a free country where the. cops are always supposed to. respond to every [ __ ] utterance of a. person who's on a brink you know. how many people said they were going to. spray paint nancy pelosi's garage and. leave a pig head on it. many probably many but only one person. did it and her name is nancy pelosi.

you see many people wanted to do that. but nancy pelosi finally did it. do you see how that works so that. somebody could be sympathetic and go. yeah. yeah they're stealing all our money and. they've destroyed the country. hollowed out many of our important. institutions. but you can't leave a pig head on the. [ __ ] dude. you left a pig head in the driveway it's. too much.

i mean listen i get it i never advocate. violence i never advocate anything but i. understand why things happen. i don't have to advocate violence but i. understand what happens when you make. people desperate and scared they respond. like. you ever corner an animal you have a. corner of someone without realizing you. you're trying to get you're trying to. approach a dog the wrong way and it bark. and it bites you. this is what's happening with the. american public you're you're forcing. them into a corner and they're. scratching and clawing and they're going. to come out and bite you i don't know. who did that to pelosi's house.

i have a good idea maybe i don't know. you know. it's probably oscar. would be funny if they arrested oscar. cat for that. san francisco he could have got up there. yeah absolutely could have he's a real. problem. or a solution but. i just got to stop eating ice cream cake. and i've still got it left we went to. coldstone which is not as good as carvel. but it's still a decent ice cream cake. it is good it's it's a fine ice cream.

cake it's got the cake and the ice cream. layers of the cake and then the ice. cream you see. and after a cold stone ice cream you. wake up and i want to kill. everybody because i didn't have that. discipline to not eat it. it's the lack of discipline that builds. the rage it's the lack of discipline. that makes you angry you're really angry. at yourself. but there's so much to be angry about in. this country justifiably. and sometimes you need to blow off a. little steam you gotta go you know i'm. gonna bun you know what i'm gonna bomb.

you're sitting there with a friend you. go you know you know what i'm gonna bomb. you know hey buddy you know what i'm. gonna bomb you know what i'm sicker. i'm just gonna [ __ ] i'm gonna i'm. gonna bomb. i'm gonna bomb uh where did he even bomb. nashville. what are you even doing what's he even. doing he put a van in nashville who. cares. who's he bombing there miranda lambert. some country singer what's he doing. i don't even understand what kind of. shitty half-measure is that.

how many people did even kill no and. just a couple dogs that were in the van. yeah what even was this he did it on. christmas morning and he played a. warning to let everyone know to get out. of the area and then it exploded is this. some sloppy false flag at langley. they're like okay this didn't work next. time we got to take out more than a few. dogs. guys this is a real embarrassment are. you nuts we took out a few dogs. that's not going to get him to take this. vaccine you killed a couple of [ __ ]. golden retrievers. in the middle of nashville we need them. to take this goddamn vaccine they got to.

be scared. this was supposed to be a guy who kova. drove to terrorism that'll be the next. thing he'll go. covet is now driving people to terrorism. that'll be one of the symptoms of culver. by the way blowing up the van in. nashville. do you have shortness of breath of fever. symptoms of the flu have you thought. about blowing up a van in downtown. nashville. you might have the novel coronavirus. whose symptoms now include any type of. anti-government behavior. if you don't want to turn into a. terrorist get the needle.

now we're going to need people to get. this vaccine i mean i don't need to get. it right away i want. some other people to get it first you. know the majority of the country and. then i will i'll get in on the last. round that but by the way. that's how respectful i am of the heroes. yes do you understand that of course. because i believe that the. first responders heroes nurses teachers. all them give give it to them. and i'll get it later. i'll get it later i here's what i will. this is the pledge i'll make because i.

care so much. about this country i will take it last. i will take it last after 350 million. people have gotten it. uh i will take it last. as coveted vaccines come online fewer. americans want to take them here's one. of the problems it's not one coveted. vaccine it's like. there's now multiple ones there's like i. got the pfizer i got the moderna nobody. knows what end is up there's no. authority in the government nobody. trusts any of this [ __ ] and i'm not an.

anti-vaxxer but this vaccine is pretty. quick. yeah right it's too fast. it's too fast. asians will all do it when asked. recently eighty percent of asians will. get killed. yeah well they're gangsters they're. taking over the world they're like this. is how we're gonna do it. i think women are the lowest well many. of them are having babies right they. want to get pregnant they don't want to. affect their children i get it. you get it yeah now.

now this is crazy when you and your wife. came over christmas. she had a needle of the vaccine for me. that was my gift. which i didn't take but it was odd that. she came over where did you get that. she got it from work. no i'm kidding ben ben and his wife got. me a candle. for christmas which is very nice what's. some other stuff well it's from target. no the the candles actually whitney. would be impressed with that candle. that's a candle from nordstrom that's a.

it's a nice uh i mean whitney's probably. in a youth hostel. she'd be impressed by solid food i. haven't heard from her in two weeks. what colors are here now i i have no. idea what she's doing. i mean whitney's impressed if she gets. you know if she gets an hour of sunlight. they let her out. of course this is a joke but is it i. don't know i haven't heard from her two. weeks i showed her her house at. christmas to give her a present she like. wouldn't let me in. yeah i have no idea what's going on i.

have no idea what's going on. i mean maybe someone will hear this and. get to her i mean i hope she's okay. i mean i don't know is she driving. around nashville in the van. i don't know what's going on i just know. around the third hair color change. people started to go uh where's this. going. where does this end have you ever known. someone who's dyed their hair four times. and it ends in a good place. i'm just asking have you ever met. somebody who's had four hair color. changes. and then the fifth change is like back.

to normal and they're like hey guys. welcome good to see you things are good. you know i don't know what's going on. she doesn't call me anymore it's okay. i don't need friends either. unnecessary unnecessary. you know especially ones in the midst of. a timothy mcveigh style. breakdown by the way you wanna the cops. want to follow up go to her house. who the hell knows what she's gonna do.

she's like gonna she'll find a way to. bomb the virtual emmys or something i. don't know. she'll bomb jimmy kimmel's house. it's a comedy podcast everyone. the comedy show we're all having fun. and there's nothing but love here for. everyone i just got her a present she. didn't answer the [ __ ] door i thought. it was a little rude. where'd you get her what where'd you get. her i didn't really get her anything. i just wanted to say hello i was bored.

yeah. what am i gonna get her another horse. she's fine um. i'll tell you this though i um no i like. that you and your wife got a candle for. me where. where was from where nordstrom oh nice. good. yeah how much it was expensive how much. i'll ask katie but i think it was in the. room of like eighty dollars eighty. dollars. yeah an eighty dollar candle but that. was not a christmas present that was a. housewarming gift the other gift was the.

which was the. how much the crew set how much i think. all in all william sonoma i spent like. 480. 480 on the crusade well i got the crew. set and then the nice big cutting board. which was nice. for who for you okay so 500. williamsonnoma i think about around 500. okay that's not horrible not bad that's. pretty nice. and then the candle oh and we got you. flowers too the little flowers from a. floral shop. well what a treat.

and the vaccine and she gave me a needle. and said a nice needle and she said. inject this. later tonight so and she handed me a. paper sign which. signed she said it was a power of. attorney that you and her would have. power of attorney over all my. financial decisions i thought that was. odd. i love cereal magicspoon.com tim dillon. that's what you gotta do you gotta grab. a variety pack of cereal and try today. zero sugar 11 grams of protein it has. three net grams of carbs in each serving.

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a meal you can have it if you work in an. office which nobody does now but. eventually people are going to again. it's easy to bring with you you can use. it it's an easy meal replacement it's a. great breakfast replacement especially. if you're on a ketogenic or a diet like. that you get up you have a bowl of magic. spoon you go on about your day. whatever a little high protein greek. yogurt you know then then you do the. meats and the cheeses and the things. like that later on in the day but this. is a great way to do it. or if you love dessert and you like. something sweet after you have a keto.

or you know whatever low carb meal you. can add a little magic spoon and it's. sweet. is it sweet and it's a little pricey and. the reason it's pricey is because it's. sweetened with. you know monk fruit extract and all. these things that are actually natural. sweeteners. they're not sugar you know they're. absolutely not sugar and that's so. that's the difference it's keto friendly. gluten-free grain-free soy-free. carb gmo free okay. this is the type of thing that a lot of. people. are getting into right now they're.

getting into it because. it is the new year and it is time for a. new them a lot of you are sitting out. there and you're sick of being a fat. slug and you don't know how to change. your life okay. you're a fat slug and you disgust. yourself the odors that emanate. from your body sicken you you're rotting. away a literal corpse. sitting there like a bloated body they. found in the river that kids poke a. stick out. and you're sick of that you're sick of. taking pictures of yourself from. different angles and putting on dating. apps you're taking photos from up there. and people see the top of your head who.

are you [ __ ] kidding. you're sick of facetiming people like. this holding your phone so high your. [ __ ] arm is [ __ ] sore. because you keep taking an aerial drone. shot of your [ __ ] disgusting body. i know when i've been there it's time to. change it today you're sick of looking. in the mirror and looking so close to. that you can literally only see your not.

but in available not even that great to. be honest but a hell of a lot better. than you do now i mean you imagine that. if you die they're gonna just wheel you. out in a wheelbarrow and then dump your. body in a ditch you don't even deserve a. funeral you're disgusting. you're a repulsive mess a massive orb of. flesh. you hate it and you're disgusting you. know there's all the fat activists and. people that tell you to feel good about. yourself but they don't exist in the. real world. they're only on twitter and it only. matters if you're a millionaire like. lizzo who can shake her big ass. but even she's trying to make her ass. smaller because you know what after a.

while you say to yourself i'm sick of. having all this ass. you know what i mean unless you like a. big ass and you need a big ass in which. case you can purchase a big ass but they. don't advertise on my show. and if they do i'll change my tune on. that but the point is that eventually. you have to stop it stop the insanity as. susan powder used to say. that spikey heard lesbian look like bart. simpson she did a lot of stuff in the. 90s i don't know what happened to her. now. probably died of a methamphetamine. overdose it's not my problem. we're moving on now the diet world is. moving on to paleo and keto and. everything ends with an o and it's.

all about getting back to the earth and. nature and natural things. and that's why we're advertising this. cereal because it doesn't have all the. [ __ ] in it. but it feels like it does your marriage. isn't real but it. feels like it is your kids don't love. you but it feels like they do. no one respects you with your job but it. feels like they might. do you see your entire life as pretend. why not add a [ __ ] cereal. to complete the cycle of delusion and. nightmares that you live in. all the [ __ ] time got it.

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of your body. your nose your ears stuff like that you. know and. and and most people don't like nose hair. i mean this doesn't it's not attractive. to anyone people like body hair maybe. and. certain people are into that certain. people or not nobody's really anyone. knows hair fetish if you meet somebody. that has a nose hair fetish you're into. some weird stuff you know what i mean. very odd you know what i mean are you in. a nose hair. no not at all not armpit hair either. why not it's just not my thing right i. guess it's a. nature versus nurture thing shut up it's.

not what it is. what are you even talking about you're. saying words the nature versus nurture. what. explain that i don't know like there's. some there's like genetic imprints where. you might be naturally. predispo predisposed to like wanting. hair on a woman. and you might naturally not or or is it. like you're raised around a woman with a. lot of hair so then you're more. attracted to them. right like which is it is it in your dna. to want to be with a woman i don't know. you brought it up. why why are you going at me with the.

question i'm just saying. you asked me why i'm not into it i'm not. sure. it was kind of you just i mean it was. kind of an outburst you just had. i'm just trying to get to the bottom of. what's going on with you right now why. are you feeling. the need to to derail the ad and the. program and. and obstruct. get this the lawnmower 3.0 trimmer the. best trimmer on the market for your. balls butt and body.

you shave your [ __ ] do you shave your. [ __ ] with the. the the lawn mower do you actually do i. don't believe you i mean i don't shave. it with a razor but like once hairs get. too long and you just go back there you. refuse to let your wife peg. you that's true yes so what's the point. of having a clean [ __ ] if nobody's. gonna really get in there. well if you have clean hairs it's easier. to wipe. yeah but why don't you let your wife. [ __ ] you. manscape performance package is the. ultimate man's hygiene bundle i just.

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at manscape.com that's 20 off with free. shipping manscape.com tim d. new year's resolutions folks you got to. stick to them. you got to stick to them what a stupid. economy we have. a new year's resolution based economy. like every every company advertises the. first of the year like are you sick of. being a fat. lazy loaf of [ __ ] are you sick of being. a fat lump of [ __ ] with no more money. how about you get involved. give up carbs and start investing in. bitcoin i'm doing michaela peterson's.

podcast by the way she reached out to me. i guess we're going to talk about eating. meat. she's on a carnivore diet and it's cured. all of her diseases which is very nice. i appreciate that she has an autoimmune. it's a weird autoimmune disease do you. know the symptoms of this. what is it the symptoms of it are it's. like inflammation. like you have inflammation all over your. body and then you try to kill your.

father. it's folks what i do with this show is i. clear my schedule. i clear my schedule so that now i don't. have to uh do anything. that's obviously a joke what is she in a. lobster costume get her out of here i. hate women oh yeah that was on holiday. i'm kidding. california hospital stressed to the. brink of catastrophe by coronavirus. surge let's play what this woman is. saying okay let's see what's going on. here.

let's go to the emergency room nurse. tony catano says her hospital is running. out of oxygen tanks. and space in the morgue our morgue is. full. but it's only a matter of time before. they start breaking out the butcher. trucks. throughout the pandemic she's used her. truck to warn residents of what's to. come she said it's about it's a matter. of time before the butcher trucks come. out yeah. for the bodies i guess is there aren't. there any vans do we have to go right to. butcher truck. do we have to go to the butcher it. sounds like a threat she's like it's.

only a matter of time before the butcher. trucks come out. then it's the fire pits after the fire. pits what. well i mean listen i i think it's bad. what's going on in l.a now i feel. [ __ ] horrible about this i don't want. i don't want anybody getting sick and i. don't want these hospitals overloaded my. question is why. why we didn't prepare for a second wave. and i've talked about it at nauseam and. maybe there's only so much. preparation you could do but we we. there's got to be more but there should. have been field hospitals and tents and. like. there there should have been increased. icu capacity hiring more nurses i don't. know.

um but the whole thing's amassed and i. feel bad about it let's watch a little. bit more of this i mean. you know it's it's [ __ ] hairy. different trend of covid cases continues. 10 hours later yes there's still just as. many ambulances. they don't they don't stop coming. they'll stop coming. cases in the state have surged in spite. of strict covid 19 protocols. including a stay-at-home order while. california's governor gavin newsom. pushed for a lockdown in parts of the. state. shutting down theme parks limiting.

dining at restaurants. and shuttering movie theaters to flatten. the curve meantime in florida. a state that's been wide open for months. things are still faring better. rate of new covet cases why public. health experts say. los angeles was uniquely susceptible to. an infectious disease outbreak. what los angeles county i think is home. to some of the most. overcrowded housing setups in the. country. and because of that you're seeing a lot. of. um well get your own place of the virus.

shut her up get your own spot. what the [ __ ] the problem get your own. [ __ ] dude i see some of these people. living together they're like 80. just like some 80 year old old woman. living with a bunch of people i'm like. yo [ __ ] get your own [ __ ] spot. what are you 80 you're still living with. people. [ __ ] do something get a studio. apartment how gross. get your own [ __ ] spot this [ __ ] is. right.

she's like there's just too many people. living together it's time to spread your. wings. get out there live your life. god it's not hard. what's the average cause of a house in. california let's see. in l.a average purchased home. buy a [ __ ] home dummy. 650 grand is the medium price and by the. way i don't know where the [ __ ] you get. that this is all fake. but you know what's the problem.

i think they're counting condos in that. there's no way so what so just get your. own spot. it's 6.50 650k. i don't understand the problem. get a new investment guy is that the. problem probably. a lot of these people in la dying of. covert right now because they live in. crowded spaces. need to get a new investment team stop.

i don't get it. whatever i just this is this is what ben. shapiro thinks. and turning point usa they're like. they're like just get a new just like. what's going on. are you not like invested are you not in. the market. in a healthy way. so this is very sad there's a lot of. people in la they're taking the bullet. they're dying of coronavirus they're.

dying in the hospitals and now. apparently they're going to bring. butcher trucks for the bodies because. there's no more mobile morgues or. something. dude it's very [ __ ] uh what's the. word ghoulish it's very ghoulish and sad. and i don't know what to do i i don't. know what to do i think it's still a. little nutty people can't sit outside on. a patio and have a salad. but they can stand arm to arm in costco. and buy a big jar of icing to eat with. their family. i don't understand it it's a sloppy. enforcement it's uneven it's selectively. enforced it's bad for everybody it's bad.

for the economy. it's probably not bad for it's probably. not good for people's health. i don't know the solution there's a lot. of overcrowded housing in l.a there's a. lot of people that live together in la. most of them are tick-tocking. you walk into these houses these large. mexican populations. it's like get a job none of these. mexicans work. they're all tick-tocking trying to be. famous that's the problem with l.a.

you go to these densely populated. mexican-american communities. and it's like oh my god they're never. working they're always just tick-tocking. it's crazy because that's what they're. talking about by the way when they say. densely populated communities talking. about mexicans they're not talking about. like. you know the 800 000 people in the. hollywood hills right now. uh shaking their ass on camera every. [ __ ] day. by the way every day there's evidence of.

just 19. people right. so many of you didn't catch that then. you don't catch the levels of arnie on. the show it's not my fault i'm just. going to hold the mic like this. what if i just broadcast it like this. what if i did that what if my whole. thing was this. [Laughter]. and i was like do you not do not like it. alex jones went little nuts on the. livestream that could not have gone on. youtube he would have lost our channel. no no no no he wanted like a 45 minute.

anti. mercs rant and i just don't think. we were waiting for that place that. company we used rush ticks to shut us. down. yeah i thought we were waiting for them. to go hey man we we've aired a lot of. stuff but. yeah this is too much. calling the vaccine jellyfish it's an. mrna vaccine it's jellyfish. they're putting jellyfish inside. okay and then he left our show and got.

in a tank to go yell at the mayor of. austin. who lives in the w hotel that's. literally true literally he left our. show got an attack tina 40 was on the. show. you know the woman who's always like. [ __ ] cuomo you call me. [ __ ] tina 40 we found this out. during the live stream. almost died of coronavirus in the. hospital literally almost died and now. is going to be leading flash mobs of. anti-massacres to run into grocery. stores without masks and just. scare people.

question why does the country. deserve to endure. think about it think about that. if we did make it wouldn't it be a weird. aberration. like if this country figured out a way. to limp into the next century somehow. wouldn't that be odd i'm not saying i'm. not for it. i live here but with the behavior of. people.

isn't it we do have a little bit of a. death wish. i'm not saying you should wear a mask. all the goddamn time but to be like hey. i'm going to lead flash mobs. in the starbucks that doesn't seem like. a good idea. it seems and she almost died of the. coven she doesn't care. hospital too weak she said yeah she's a. real warrior. americans just want to fight for. something they don't even care what it. is. they don't even care what they're. fighting for it's just it's time to. fight.

god bless her she came on the show we. respect her. you know i appreciate it but you know it. seems strange. if somebody spent two weeks in the. hospital coronavirus i don't think their. next thing would be i'm going to. lead flash mobs of anti-massacres to run. around cvs. that's an odd reaction to have no also. what does that prove. and whose mind does that change you. think anyone's like well i took over. seriously until i saw 100 people running. around. this grocery store now i realize the era.

of my ways. you know just open up. ocean prime outside so i can get the. truffle deviled egg and i'll be fine. everybody's interested personal open up. ocean prime on the patio i want truffle. deviled egg. which is not being offered as part of. the takeout menu one of the biggest. problems people are having now. is the takeout menus and the uh in in. restaurant dining menus. are very different and this is a big. source of consternation to a lot of.

people including myself who are like. what's going on here i want the thing. that i get. here and they're like well we don't do. that anymore and i'm like well we're. gonna yeah. we're gonna you know why because the. butcher trucks are coming. and they're taking everyone out and. butchering us up and they're gonna sell. us from meat on the street. before that i would like the deviled egg. is there a way that we can. do that please because we're clearly all. living at the end of something. and i'd like a little before the end.

we had a big problem with airbnb and. i've been a big proponent of airbnb and. airbnb is a billion dollar business. and it's valued at how much do you mean. they just had a ipo right. airbnb is uh this massive. uh i mean it is just. it's 68 dollars a share i mean. it's it's 33 billion valuation as of. november 30th for airbnb. okay now it's targeting that is december.

7th 42 billion. variation for airbnb and we had a. problem with airbnb. we had a real issue with airbnb i have. done. nothing but be respectful to the people. to the homes that i rent i've done. nothing. you understand i do not get bad reviews. on airbnb because i treat. people with respect now. let's describe let's describe some of. the issues. number one i went i was told i was going. to a luxury compound in joshua tree.

luxury. means something very specific to me okay. it doesn't mean. necessarily stylized high concept and. artistic it means luxury it means. fluffy couches and nice carpets luxury i. feel. luxurious you understand. um we went to a nice. thing in joshua tree which is the place. where all people in the tech industry go. to take mushrooms and. people that work for ice go and have you.

know to take dmt and. figure out how to build stronger cages. to put kids in you know it's great it's. for people having revelations. so we go to joshua tree which is really. just it's a litter box for drug addicts. let's be honest. it's a litter box for drug addicts and i. know that a lot of people like it but. that's what it is and that's who you are. so we go to this litter box for drug. addicts and they you know they've stuck. a little house on the edge of the. cliff and we can all go see the desert. and you know take a bunch of drugs and. see satan or whatever. and um we get into the house the house.

the furniture in the house is like it's. all it's all. of course these are two white women i. believe they're lesbians i don't want to. i say that they're lesbians i don't know. but their names are stupid like one of. them's name's mila. it's like it's a stupid name you're a. ridiculous person okay. you accuse me of breaking a cactus how. do you even do that you goofy [ __ ] shut. the [ __ ] up. okay you slob so i walk into your. [ __ ] house which you can't even sit. on the [ __ ] front i got fat people. here. they're 400 pounds how are they gonna.

sit on your cowhide chair. that's a little thin thing of [ __ ]. leather what are we supposed to do. this guy's 900 pounds what are we gonna. do here okay. every piece of furniture can't sodomize. the guest. you have to have some [ __ ] chair that. works like an actual [ __ ] chair. throw a beanbag in there okay not. everybody's a 90-foot. 90-pound lesbian on ayahuasca that can. perch on a [ __ ] bird cage. for the whole night okay you freaks.

listen the [ __ ] up. talking to you people are gonna rent. your house that are actual people that. need. actual furniture to actually sit not. everything's a [ __ ] trip to. hyperspace. there's actual 3d reality that some of. us have to [ __ ] live in. so we went there. and i was not thrilled with the decor. and i. i told you that it was very uh white and. you know these white. [ __ ] they just steal native american. culture and i'm not even a culturally.

appropriation guy but they just steal. this [ __ ] culture. they put these weird little uh buffalo. head skulls everywhere and. you know lavender oil and what am i. gonna do lube my ass with it what are. you. what is this so we go in. it's all white the fireplace doesn't. work of course because the insurance. company won't insure them. everything's freezing the hot tub is. freezing. unhappy right the [ __ ] lock box we. gotta [ __ ] attack it to get the key. out.

um so we're there in the house and. we do nothing to the furniture we. literally don't damage any of the. furniture they have these kitchen stools. that are concrete slabs. we work so hard for the shut up. get a job they're are concrete slab. kitchen chairs high top kitchen chairs. okay. that are like art pieces these are not. chairs right and they have little stools. that are made out of what what was that. like. hollowed out so like marble or the.

marble petrified wood. petrified wood or i don't know what it. was. it's a little stool that you're supposed. to sit it's a tiny little table. where your ass can't even fit on this. small little thing of wood that you have. to sit on. and eat i don't even know what right. so they just want you doing drugs do you. walk in there's a big mortar and a. pestle there. and they're like just crush it up just. crush it up and do it. get it into the blood sugar and that's. fine listen i got it i got janja.

i tagged the shrimps but some people. want to have a nice. meal there we treated that house that. could have never been treated. with wholesome american food. we went to vons in the desert and we got. burgers and bushes baked beans and we. cooked. baked beans and yes beans explode when. they're hot yeah. whose fault is that i didn't come up. with the idea for the bean.

they explode without and then we wanted. uh gordon's fish we got the gorton's. fish which is very nice. the breaded pre-breaded gourds fish and. some tartar sauce. so we so baked beans gordon's fish with. tartar sauce cheeseburgers and then. seven pints of ice cream so we could try. yeah. just have a little ice cream testing and. we left a few dishes. in the sink in the sink a pot of. exploded beans. an extra tartar sauce i didn't even use. that i said you can use.

um some ice cream i mean the smell of. the house was. fish and bean but that's not my fault. you couldn't have a cleaning because. she's like the cleaning crew complained. what what is it my fat maid over there. probably complaining. but it's like well why are they. complaining they're supposed to be. cleaning their job is to clean. okay so this [ __ ] then texts me she. goes our cleaning crew had a heart. attack lol so i'm like okay. and then she goes but please give us a. good review should we stay on airbnb so. here's the deal with airbnb we review. each other we don't know what we've said.

if you're gonna come reach out to me and. ask me for a good review and acknowledge. that the cleaning crew's like oh we. gotta wash some dishes. i'm like okay they're not mad we didn't. do anything there's some dishes in the. sink but it is what it is i paid a 400. cleaning fee you stupid [ __ ] jonah and. mila. you [ __ ] pigs i'll burn your [ __ ]. house down. by the way anyway i texted them that i. texted them i was gonna burn their house. down. and i sent them a gif of the simpsons. house burning i'm like i know where your. house is they're like are you. threatening me i'm like let's just see. what happens. i'm like stay safe out there you stupid.

desert dykes. i will have god hates [ __ ] church. outside of your [ __ ] house every. [ __ ] day. i will call uh who is the people in. there who are the names westboro baptist. yeah westborough and who are the names. uh. fred phelps the phelps family i'll get. the whole fels family not the [ __ ] that. went on rogue and the rest of them that. stayed true. i will get them out there every [ __ ]. night to [ __ ] yell at the people. renting your stupid drug den. anyway so i responded to her by saying.

no one broke anything your house sucks. because she said i was a bad guest and. then and then people are like did this. really happen. it can't really happen i said the fu the. furniture is unusable you're not artists. your home is wildly overpriced true. you begged me for a good rating and then. trashed me the cleaning crew complained. about cleaning who's your cleaning crew. there was some dishes that is all i. don't really care about your reviews i. don't rent out my home to strangers like. an animal good luck with everything in. the future. the place is a dump and it looks like it. was furnished by drug addicts. which i imagine you are please get the.

help you need if you want me to take you. to an a.a meeting or an n a meeting i. will go to ikea. get some actual furniture which. hopefully you can afford not everything. has to be an art piece. and feel free to use the tartar sauce i. left behind later. pig and that's what i wrote to them on. airbnb and no response. and then i and then i sent a few that. could have been considered. quasi-threatening messages but they were. not threats they were an art piece. like your furniture they're not meant to. be sat on or taken literally i was doing. an art. piece you see it was all a metaphor.

and an anger it angered me because she. [ __ ] on me publicly on airbnb which. anyone can see. truly and now i look like the bad guy. i look like the bad guy. jonah and mila [ __ ] you. we didn't do anything dishes were in the. sink. the hot tub wasn't hot you already paid. 400 for a clean if we're not supposed to. eat the gorton's fish. why would they sell it at the. supermarket.

i'm not getting fresh fish i trust the. gordon's fishermen. and it's a lovely if you've ever had a. gorton's they're lovely very good. and then the mccormick tartar sauce goes. very well with it it pairs very well. i'm sorry i wasn't doing speed balls in. your bathroom. like the rest of your guests. you [ __ ] pigs you've done nothing. but create a [ __ ] satanic vortex for. people to sin. and i didn't take part in it i made.

bowls of baked beans. i'll i will not toler i will not. tolerate. being disparaged publicly like that. and this good man does he he did nothing. wrong. he slept in a room where the sun. hit him directly in the face as soon as. it came up because there were no [ __ ]. curtains yeah. because curtains are too basic for these. [ __ ]. hoes and i hope they hear this by the. way i hope someone in your garbage life.

shows you this podcast you are nothing. do you understand me. you clowns look at your airbnb picture. you're. you pose with your [ __ ] dogs you're. clowns. you're not interesting and you were not. an artist you are failures and you were. drug addicts. and i'm telling you right now if you had. any clue the holy hell that was about to. rain down on you. you would [ __ ] run you would have you. would run out into the desert and. sacrifice yourself. because every day i swear to christ.

every [ __ ] day i wake up and i think. about how to destroy you and that. [ __ ]. and i'll figure it out and see this is. what i mean about the cops can't call me. out on this because it's my right. to kind of vent these frustrations and i. can't because they can't knock on my. door and say hey did you say you're. gonna kill these. two dykes and joshua tree i can't this. is what i mean do you see in real time. i'm proving my point from the beginning. of the show that's why the show is. entertaining. and it's informative because the reality. is we're all having these thoughts all. the time. because what i really want to do is gas. these two in their house and watch them.

just. i want to watch them [ __ ] climb over. their shitty art house furniture and get. to the [ __ ] door and just. just they can't get any breath and then. fall and then just walk in and i want to. piss on their corpses but i'm not going. to do that. i'm not going to do that. i'm just going to talk about it do you. understand the difference. and if putting on a hispanic accent made. me feel a little better. if being a little exotic made me feel. better if pretending to be an eastern. european. or pretending to be a russian or. pretending to be asian if that made me.

feel a little better if it got me. through my day. if it decreased the chances and i was. going to go back and burn this [ __ ]. [ __ ] down in the middle of joshua. tree. because they've wronged me if that made. me feel a little better than what the. [ __ ] wrong with that what is the. problem. with that i'm not putting pig heads on. pelosi's door i just want to go hey come. and see this. cucumber i don't know how to talk in the. english i don't know how to do it. so what's the [ __ ] problem out there. pick and choose your battles do you. understand. and i hope and this show's a big show i. hope to god. someone shows it to these people and i.

will get in a high-profile war with both. of you ladies. okay cause i'm a [ __ ] too okay. you can't do that straight white man. [ __ ] on me okay. i will suck a [ __ ] in your house and. then burn it down i don't know what. that'll prove. it sounded more progressive as i was. saying it it actually sounded quite. hateful as i was saying it as well. my point is this stop there's nothing. worse than lesbians who think they're. artists. you're not just build a [ __ ] shed you. apes.

katie herzog's not trying to be an. artist she's [ __ ] sitting in her. backyard with her dumb dog. and and [ __ ] trying to figure out why. her neighbor identifies as a fruit loop. by the way i've been having a. conversation with a 17 year old. dude who's on the track team in in where. i live. thinking he's katie herzog for the last. [ __ ] month he goes dude what's your.

problem why do you keep asking me about. trans issues i said aren't you katie. herzog. he goes no i'm a 17 year old track star. i said oh well then i'll move on. i just got a message from mikayla. peterson she's like we're booked off. i was on rogan for one of the biggest. episodes the person who wrote this ad. copy said his biggest episode ever. that's untrue it was one of the biggest. one the companies that advertise in the. show are either a super great product. that i love.

or have a gang of money and usually both. to be working with me. and this one in particular is a fan of. my comedy which means he is like you i. mean this guy. great guy fan of my comedy veteran. respect him i mean. horrible writer but i do i'm wearing the. underwear right now. actually and it's great underwear um. it's great as a bathing suit. it's great to say and i wasn't in my. underwear for the entire episode we're. just doing ads now. but the reality is. this guy i have a lot of respect for him. um.

he started a company that's really. successful sheath underwear is great we. all wear it it's really. cool um it has a little pouch you can. put your dick in. which is very important um because your. balls and your dick it keeps them all. separate so you don't sweat especially. in the heat it's very important in the. heat. um they paid me to promote them which we. all know. but i actually use the product you know. what i mean. um and i respect it do you know who this.

guy. this is the guy who this the guy who. owns his company. and and which is pretty cool i didn't. know about this. remember when moammar gaddafi was. sodomized to death. this is the guy who did that. they have a dual pouch separate. compartments. for maximum support and performance mode. dial spandex fabric blend is. is cool to the touch it provides. absorption designer waistband. eye-catching waistbands offered in. different themes and color schemes for.

added style multi-directional stretching. fabric sculpts. precisely it's as comfortable as you can. get right so comfortable it's really and. it doesn't bother me do i have very. sensitive skin. i look horrible today obviously i've. spent a week just destroying myself but. uh i have very sensitive skin and it. actually ah. it doesn't ever i'm never bothered by it. right. why won't you let your wife [ __ ] you in. the ass.

has she ever expressed a desire to no. never. do you know people that do that like of. course people that are evolved. i don't understand she's never expressed. the desire to just put on a fake dildo. and ram you in the ass no. sheath underwear dot com use code tim30. save 30.

is that true just till christmas i think. the sale is still going. that's the copy they sent but use tim30. you save. 30 on the underwear i'm telling you. right now it's a great way to support. the show and i'll be very honest with. you it's the most. comfortable underwear i've ever used and. it is something that's pretty cool. and the guy who started this company. is a veteran who served our country. you know what i mean and um so to me. it's like that. that is a very he was the guy who threw.

bin laden's body in the water. you know so i thought that was that's a. pretty cool thing to do to like have. that story. you know what i mean it's true he was um. you know. they he was going to try to get a job at. one of those merced groups like. blackwater but they said he was too. violent. so he had to start an underwear company. but he's doing a great job.

i really appreciate this guy because he. lets me say whatever i want on these ads. which i like. and the underwear is good the product's. good i mean i i mean you know. i i don't i've never nobody's ever had a. problem with sheath underwear nobody's. ever had a problem with sheath underwear. you know what about one time what about. one time if she said. i just want to stick something up but as. far as it can go you would still say. no i'm very uncomfortable with that. i don't think i could do that because it. would hurt you yeah that sounds painful. it's very painful but do you know what.

else is painful. anything worth it. sheath underwear dot com. use code tim30. very few ads you can break out into that. buy this if nothing else buy this. because this guy is the best sense of. humor of any company advertising on the. show. this guy literally is the biggest comedy. fan that advertises on the show. he advertises on every all of your. favorite comedy podcasts.

he's one of the companies that allows us. to make a living do whatever we want say. whatever we want and have fun. and if you're a fan of this show you. should be a fan of that. that's dead serious about that like 100. and he also shot jfk he's the guy who. shot jfk in that. sheath underwear.com i want to do lex. friedman show i like lex friedman a lot. there's a few shows i want to do i know. i'm trying to put together a few shows i. wanted you know marin's never had me on. but i guess that's just part of the. thing now. that's okay i don't care it seems he. only has people on if they're promoting.

something like a. show or a book okay well there's been. i've had two specials and. multiple things to promote he probably. doesn't like me probably that's fine. i'll live i actually want to get out of. comment like i really don't care about. comedy anymore. i like i love it and it's my lifeblood. but it's also destroying me. and i want to do this show and i will be. out live and stuff and i will be doing. comedy. because i don't have a choice i have to. do it because it's the only way that i. don't go back to joshua tree with a. [ __ ]. bow and arrow but i uh.

but uh you know i just have it's gotten. slicks to the point where it's kind of. like. i don't even care anymore would you want. to open a restaurant. we're gonna do a lot of cool live [ __ ]. when [ __ ] opens up we're gonna take over. a restaurant for 48 hours we're gonna do. this we're gonna do a pop-up restaurant. just to [ __ ] around do a menu all that. [ __ ] we might do a food truck. i just want to [ __ ] do [ __ ] to not be. bored i can't be in some comedy club. forever. i need to do crazy live [ __ ] we're. playing around with the idea of doing. like this is year. down the line or whatever a fake.

business convention you go to this hotel. we get all these crazy. comics to do [ __ ] about fake business. you know sexual harassment training with. mark norman. just funny [ __ ] you know like a two-day. [ __ ]. crazy type of event experience i want to. do these weird experiences i did it. in new york where i rented this tour bus. we went all over new york city doing. same crazy chat. and i think that's what i want to start. focusing on like obviously i love. standup i'm always going to do it it's. it's it's. a you know it's a gym you work out this. is what you. you do that's how you stay funny but.

like i want to create these crazy. experiences where people are like that. [ __ ] was [ __ ] wild. you know whether it's like doing a. pop-up restaurant where people could. come and have this restaurant experience. it's also a comedy experience. or they could come and do this [ __ ]. crazy cell seminar where we put real. motivational speakers with fake ones you. don't know who's who and everybody's. just [ __ ]. crazy here's another thing i want to do. which i think would be really funny i. want to do a show on joshua trey. like do a comedy show on joshua tree. with like 100 people. and then lead them to this [ __ ]. airbnb where we burn it down.

and we we take both of the women who own. it out of their house. and we rip pieces of their skin off one. by one. we de-skin them outside of their home. uh and then spread them with honey and. then let african bees eat them because. that is a. that's a thing in africa where like. that's like a punishment in africa if. you're caught like i don't know trying. to steal someone's bitcoin. something i don't know i vent my anger. here it's important because. listen and here's the reality if.

anyone's watching this from the fbi. or one of i love those women i love. those i love. people that take risks to make beautiful. art everything i have said. is comedy i love. those women i love them and i respect. them and i. and i and i'm sorry that we had a. difference of opinion as relating to. business. but i am hoping that in the future. i'm hoping in the future that we can.

come together they're welcome to come on. the show. and you're welcome to come on my i'm. kidding about. skinning you you're welcome to come on. the show. because we didn't do anything wrong. right. i don't think so we have the truth with. us and the people that have the truth. are close to the light of the lord okay. ladies. um so when i have the truth with me. i proceed with confidence so you are.

more than welcome to come on my show to. zoom in or skype in. and tell me what you think i did. because i did nothing i did nothing but. infuse your. home with love. and laughter and light and i was [ __ ] on. you took a big [ __ ] on me publicly on. airbnb which is. [ __ ] up it's [ __ ] up. what you ladies did and i hope you live. with that i hope you live with that. every day of your life.

and i know you're watching this right. now i know you two are watching this. right now right. and you're gonna call your friend who's. a lawyer he ain't that ain't that. successful is he. and you're gonna call him and you're. gonna say is can we do anything about. you can't. you can't i've got lawyers too piglet. and i'm telling you right now i'm. telling you i want you to look at my. face and when you look at my eyes do you. are you both sitting on the couch with. you. with your dogs in your loveless. childless home i want you to look at me. i will never let up.

for the rest of my life you were the one. bad airbnb review i have i will never. ever ever ever ever ever let up. and it won't be just a p it won't be. just pig's blood in the driveway. okay it won't be just some antifa. scribbling with. a spray cam okay when i decide. when i pounce. it'll be hiroshima it'll be nagasaki. ladies i'm kidding come on the show come.

on the show literally. literally come on the show because i am. kidding i don't care anymore i'm not. gonna blow up your house or kill you. it's. you both could probably kill me you're. you're you're you're you're you know. i don't know come on the show we're just. having fun here. this is what i mean i'm illustrating how. you gotta invent you gotta you gotta let. loose because we don't care anymore i. really don't care it doesn't matter. i'll still get airbnbs uh but i just i. want you to come on. i want you to come on the show i want. you to come on the show i'm gonna blow.

up your car. i'm gonna blow up one of your cars i. that but that's it. but i'm gonna blow up one of your cars. one of you is. gonna get thrown out of a car with. third-degree barns. only one only one of you. and then you're probably gonna get out. of the airbnb business aren't you. you look at your wife with a crusty face. and you go. man man we should have just tolerated. that smell of good gorton's fish.

but i'm kidding hey dummy not gonna blow. up your car i don't even know how to do. that i don't even know how to do it. just come on the show and and. and you can you can yell at me get my. instagram down please. leave this up the whole time are you. paying attention. i didn't put it on screen okay all right. he's very vicious vicious he's very. vicious. and he always has a plan and he never. really is out in the open with his.

thoughts and feelings. and he buries them very deeply and then. he lets them out months later and you. know you do. you know you let them out months later. there's deep-seated anger and rage you. have towards me. and you have to work that out i'm not. the one with the anger problem here you. are. because i get all my anger out on the. show but you sit and stew with it. and you and that woman uh sit there and. you. and you just and you just sit there and. stir your little pot of hell. you stir your little pot of hell you.

know and you try to and you try to. you try to you know and i i watch you. closely as i watch her. okay so just know that you're being. watched. do you understand that. i'm going to. i'm going to i like to rent i'd like. someone to rent this airbnb. under their name and have me go.

and then take photos in it and then put. them on my social media and be like. can't keep me up [ __ ]. that's kind of funny right that's like a. happy medium i'm not hurting them or. blowing their house up but it's just. funny. and i'm like in the airbnb so if you. live in california and you want to rent. an airbnb and just throw a straight up. party. just a covert party you have to be an. essential worker to. rent right now so as long as they're. essential not in their kit not in the. joshua tree county oh really.

correct interesting uh they told me that. because i tried to wrap them out too. which i never do but i'm like i'm. reporting you guys i said i literally. text him i'm like i work for gavin. newsom. i'm gonna get you again instead of. laughing you're like not in our county. i'm like. lesbian no sense of humor very very. telling sign. um when i do the wrong thing i don't. like. i'm not getting my palm springs deposit. back cause duncan ate the couch. that's fine the bottom the under the. black. and i paid for pool heat i wanted to. heat the pool but.

my point is that i don't want to belabor. the point we're going to get out of here. in a minute and we do appreciate. everybody who. enjoyed the live stream and it was a lot. of fun and it's up on patreon now. whatever. um but at the end of the day i feel like. we must always fight for what is right. and true and just. truly you know what i mean that's why i. have to watch you. because i want you to be always with the. purest of intentions.

and sometimes and even you would you. would you would. you have inside of you a little cauldron. of of rage. just a tiny bit and you don't get your. feelings out. because sometimes i you then come back. to me three months later with something. that's true you're not you're not saying. that's true no it's true i'm bad at. being honest or expressing myself. and i have a little bit of anger and. that's why i vape constantly it just. keeps it all down and you're angry at me. sometimes i've been angry at you.

sometimes you've been angry at me yeah. at me you've been angry angry with. with you is that you've been angry with. me yeah. why would you be angry with me we we've. had. i mean we've known each other a long. time now we've worked closely together. sometimes there's fights you know. but you think you're right i get upset. you get upset because you're wrong. sometimes yeah. sometimes i know you're right and it. upsets me and then sometimes i've been. wrong.

interesting but you apologize later. perhaps. we just i i feel like we must start the. year on a good foot. yes i can't have you and your wife. trying to kill me all the time. do you understand that. you know. see he's laughing because he knows it's.

true you're laughing because you know. it's true. that we want to kill you the depths of. hatred that that woman has for me. are it's like the mariana trench it's. the deepest part of the ocean. and and all you try to do is. is you know mitigate that to the degree. that you can. that's okay i i i am. i am always with god with love and light. and truth and justice. you and her have turned from the church. i have not.

that's the difference between us wow. does it make sense now yeah we've turned. our backs on god and. you're an example of what it's like to. bathe in christ's light. that is exactly right yes i can't even. yell at you because you said that so. perfectly do you understand many people. they'll never understand that no no no. so even though we have our our struggles. our trials and tribulations. we come out on the other end because i. think you understand that i.

am your way to the light of the lord i. open the gates up for you. and for her to come in why shut the. gates. hear that milan can uh my name is mila. my name is mila i work so hard on my. airbnb. i'm mila how'd you work hard stealing. the culture of native americans you. genocidal [ __ ]. how'd you work hard again giving a.

family a indian some smallpox blankets. and then taking their [ __ ] art. and adorning that shed in joshua trees. so that white pigs can go there and. drink ergot wine how'd you work hard. again. how'd you work hard again. the only part of the airbnb i didn't. check before we left was rey's backhouse. so i didn't check that did you check. that interesting no. so we may owe these two women an apology. god only knows that rey did in there.

i gotta be honest with you we may owe. these two ladies in the. jonah and mila hey i'm sorry. good night.