#206 - Turn Yourselves In | The Tim Dillon Show

welcome to the Tim Dylan show everybody. it is Tim Dylan I want to start off on a. serious note I want to address something. that a lot of people are talking about. and it is it is about race and it is. about changing our society and it's. about holding people accountable and. that's something that I've become more. open to in the past week you know. holding people accountable I don't I. don't think I've been really excited and.

I think that is the right word by the. amount of people who are outing. themselves as problematic and I've been. I've been excited by it because I think. that's the first step to really healing. and creating an equitable Society the. first step is for people to come out. Jenny slate comedian writer the show big.

mouth Jenny slate is a white woman and. she played the role of a character named. Missy on big mouth an animated show on. Netflix and Missy was a mixed-race. character who had a Jewish white mother. like slate and a black father I mean. clearly we're looking at Missy here. Missy is clearly black even though she's. mixed-race but you know Jenny slate has.

recused herself from the show and she's. leaving because she said black. characters should be played by black. people I don't think that's enough okay. she's contributed to the erasure of. black people SH and she's said that she. said she erased the black Prarie I don't. even know what that is. I don't know what futuristic weapon what.

ray gun she used to erase a black person. but I don't think it's enough to just. say sorry and go back to your mansion no. thank you ma'am Jenny slate has to go to. jail she has to be brought up on charges. and she has to go to jail for no less. than 10 years for what she did this is.

not a [ __ ] joke stop laughing you. white Pig she needs to hear every night. she needs to hear the bars clink she. needs to lose her freedom what has she. done with her freedom she's used to. erase black people by voicing the. character a mixed-race character on big. mouth on Netflix no thang and cancel big. mouth while we're at it sorry Nick Kroll.

cancel big mouth you're gonna have to. get a job with your family doing. security related matters I'm sorry I. don't I don't want to be this way. but I am I don't want to be this way but. I am Jenny said I've come to the.

decision today that I can no longer play. the character of Missy on the animated. TV show big mouth at the start of the. show I reasoned with myself that it was. permissible to play Missy because her. mom is Jewish and white as am i but. Missy is also black and black characters. on an animated show should be played by. black people I acknowledge how my. original reasoning was flawed that it. existed as an example of white privilege. and an unjust allowances made within a. system of societal white supremacy and.

that me playing Missy was. gauging in an act of a ratio of black. people bud and jail now put her in jail. put her in jail why is she not in jail. why are the producers of this show not. behind bars goddamn them goddamn her I. am NOT I'm only laughing now because I'm.

so angry that when I laugh I get out I. get I get angry and I laugh but I got. damn than blacklivesmatter. do you understand that they matter on. the Netflix cartoon put her in jail that. Nick crawls parents bill not even the. rod not even a touch I mean an. underground prison what do we not know. what they do use Google dummies I get it.

she's got to go to jail a secret. underground facility where she can be. re-educated not my fault I want to hold. people accountable they're being held. accountable this week that's it no more. games this week tim is here to hold. everyone accountable well I apologize. for the bit I did with Nick Mullen where.

we said that Orthodox Jews were wearing. diapers to to landlord-tenant court. because they were pretending to be. insane so they could continue to rip off. their minority tenants I will not. apologize for that that I will not do. because I did not erase a black person. in that if anything I called attention. to inequality with that you see the. difference I've had enough for too long. I've sat on the sidelines while.

cartoonists have destroyed the fabric of. American society. we cannot tolerate this anymore most. importantly though Jenny says to anyone. that I've hurt I am so very sorry oh I. bet that feels good I am so very sorry. how many people have killed themselves. because of this how many lives have. ended because of your show I bet it's. unquantifiable how many people killed.

themselves put a gun in their mouth. jumped off the building cut their own. throat maybe their wrists od'd on pills. took a hair dryer and electrocuted. himself in the top it's fix eiated. themself hung them sir I bet all of. these black people that are dying. tragically with nooses and they are. hanging themselves because they found. out that Missy was voiced by Jenny slate.

that is that is a hypothesis I have it. is not proven it is a hypothesis but I. think it's pretty damn good so I'm I'm. I'm asking Miss slate ms slate and the. any producers of big mouths to turn. themselves in to the military not even. the LAPD those corrupt bastards no the. military to be to have a tribunal and we. need a military tribunal in this case.

and they will not have a jury of their. peers they will be tried by a jury of. people that are selected the people that. have been affected the people that have. been affected failed comedians will. judge her comedians that don't make any. money will judge mislaid people that. have podcasts that have 45 reviews on. Apple will stand the judgement of Miss. slate mr. crawle and the entire show.

they will judge you and I hope they. explain it to them explain it to the. people that couldn't even get a [ __ ]. free drink. for their horrible comedy and have. wasted their entire lives those are the. people you have to convince and the. death penalty is not off the table I'm. not saying it's gonna be I'm not baby. it is a tool it should be available to. the prosecution that's what I'm saying.

here I'm done letting people off this by. the way what I'm doing here is what. everyone's gonna have to do this is the. new strategy with woke people is to go. more woke than they are this is the new. strategy like when they say we should. take down that monument you go we should. nuke an American city that's what you. say if someone says now I want to get. rid of this monument go let's nuke DC. let's nuke Washington you got it you got. because you got it a got a look at you. like huh like it's it's gotta be so bad.

now like when they say when she steps. out a big mouth I go we shouldn't have a. big mouth it's got to go it's tainted. it's over it's over that's what you're. gonna have to do you're just gonna have. to when somebody says to you when. somebody starts a conversation goes. listen why not get rid of all these. monuments go I owned I will do you one. better. I will do you one better why not get rid. of them all at once let's nuke. Washington DC let's get a suitcase.

nuclear weapon and and and and nuke. Washington DC and if they if they're. shocked by that or they argue against. that you just look at them ago laughs oh. so you're gonna you're gonna take the. monuments that are offensive and leave. the White House and Congress and the. Washington Monument and what no no no no. we are going to nuke the Capitol that is. the woke position and when things get.

bad and then and when things get better. when the radiation is gone in a few. months or years I don't know then we. will go and build an equitable Society. but we're not we're not going to do. these surgical strikes we're not going. to do these surgical strikes we're going. in with a suitcase nuke we're going in. with a suitcase nuke and Jenny slate. will be publicly executed for what she. has done to the black community yes or. yes yes or yes don't get that as the. great Terrell Davis drunk. real estate motivational speaker in Long.

Island would say yes or yes don't give. them don't give them the chance to say. no should these people go to jail for. their own. tweets yes or yes yes they should I. don't even know who these people are but. they're trillionaires Shane Dawson. jeffree star they've got their own. literal planets they own literal planets. Jeffrey star on Saturn and you're trying. to cancel him he owns the planet Saturn. which date date I don't know what. they're doing they're painting it with.

face paint you've made an entire. industry of people that only talk about. makeup what the [ __ ]. people in makeup used to not have public. personas because they didn't need it who. is that chick from Maybelline nobody. knew she was Rita Revlon whoever the. [ __ ] these Rita nobody cared. people knew Coco Chanel was that was it. but like it's cosmetics what is so. important about makeup. can someone illuminate this sick trend.

for me please can someone help me. understand why people painting their. face like Harlequin clowns in their in. their room that is only lit by the blue. light of their computer and they sit. there and they put makeup on their face. and stare at reddit threads can someone. explain to me how this makes eight. trillion dollars a week they have more. money these people and you you can't. cancel them they own the earth they own.

the earth on which you live your Twitter. doesn't matter I think Shane Dodson to. rate he owns the earth I don't know how. it happened I don't know how it happened. that the only thing that's buy. profitable in this country anymore is. makeup that's the only industry we've. got left is people putting lipstick on I. I miss that somehow that trend missed me. but apparently one of them though the.

Geoffrey star the one that looks like I. mean let's be very honest if you'd. bumped into Geoffrey star in real life. you would go what I mean your first. thought wouldn't be this is a beauty. consultant let's be very honest about it. is no shade to him or whatever I don't. even know anymore. there'd rich dude on that you don't get. a gender when you're a trillionaire. you don't get a gender anymore you're a. planet but if I bumped in the Jeffrey. star it would be like interesting that. they made their money with cosmetics and.

no shade to them good for him. whatever good good God love you I'm just. confused as always I exist in a. permanent state of confusion on this. program I don't understand. I look at people out they all look like. [ __ ] no one's even wearing the makeup so. I guess people just wearing it in their. [ __ ] hovels they live it are they. eating the maker is it edible known as. food nobody has any money or food how. are they swinging $100 makeup cats who's.

buying us fat women in the Rust Belt are. sitting there put men women who ever. who's doing this I thought everybody's. money went to opioids how do they have. the money to get going to make up now. but you can't cancel them they own you. stop trying to kill I don't know why. they're gonna canceling them Shane. Dawson did blackface and one of the. photos he looks like Oprah's weird he's. a chubby gentleman in Egypt blackface. that's why I don't do blackface I don't.

need people calling me precious. hashtag precious what's people of a. certain amount of money it's like you. know what are you canceling does it. matter but they will have to pay too. they will have to also go to the into. the military tribunal of which they will. own they will buy their way out but they. must they must I think every star called.

someone fat once he must hit he must. have town he must atone for that he must. atone for calling someone fat it is not. right not right he must be brought up on. charges for that and Shane Dawson did. blackface you know what's funny about. the blackface. I wonder when blackface was acceptable. cuz I like I got in a comedy in late. 2010 early 2011 I would like never to. black that like I'm wondering when that.

when people thought that was okay like. didn't know. think this is maybe not a good idea I. understand like in the early 2000s or. whatever but when anything like I don't. remember when that was like a thing that. felt like a smart move like let me just. do blackface I'm sure this you got to. think to yourself if you're if you've. make yourself up in blackface it. eventually this might come back to her. yeah I think a smart person has to think. think like when they're when they're. putting on the makeup and they go you.

know what this is like I say we're doing. characters right I mean that's the. argument right they were doing a. character they like makeup that's what. they're into that's how they made all. their money you can't just pull white. makeup on it gets boring occasionally. you got a throw on a little copper a. little tone right I don't know I'm. asking I'm asking these questions. because I I truly don't know the answers.

when I was a little kid I was an actor. we know this I'm a [ __ ] star when I. was a child I was in South Pacific. it is a Broadway show about Polynesians. me and my little cousin Katie who was a. white chick I'm clearly white we put. like bronze makeup on and they gave us. Asian eyes don't make a face what are. you making a face for was the [ __ ]. 90s. what if Polynesians done for you happy.

birthday by the way it was his birthday. the other day and I don't care because. birth celebrating birthdays are for. their achievements for people that don't. achieve people are never more entitled. and disgusting than on their birthday. cut it out when you're 18 birthdays and. they end enough celebrate. accomplishments not that you've survived. another year so happy go [ __ ] yourself. and we I was made up to look like an.

Asian and given a black wig and the. audience loved it it was me and my. little cousin and I forget what song we. were like happy talkie. happy talkie talk now it wasn't a. problem back then because we were they. Polynesians and maybe there weren't. Polynesians that wanted to perform in. the [ __ ] Bethpage high school you. know South Pacific performance maybe.

there weren't just lines of Asians I was. displacing by being a young kid in a. [ __ ] community theater production of. South Pacific I mean I don't know I'm. trying to look back on some of my. problematic race behavior in terms of. putting makeup on that was probably the. I erased the Polynesian child with that. move I should tweet that I should go.

when I was a child I was in South. Pacific it was a community theatre. production in Long Island I was given a. black wig and orange paint and they made. my eyes Asian and I sang an Asian song. and I pretended to be Asian come for me. [ __ ] I mean that's the truth and I'm. I'm ashamed I did that and I will kill. myself after this program okay because.

I'm deeply shamed Texas is shutting down. again I hope you enjoyed your. rattlesnake bites get up the rattlesnake. bite is a very nasty appetizer the. rattlesnake bite oh it's a medical. emergency. it is a medical emergency but it's also. so the rattlesnake bite is an appetizer. what is it then it's a jalapeno popper. cream cheese wrapped in bacon and baked.

yeah or grilled and the rattlesnake bite. is is pretty is it Texas thing right. totally yeah well I hope you've enjoyed. them Texas is shutting down again. they're shutting back down Florida. shutting back down here's the deal. I live in LA for now and I Drive around. and I see all these children and young. adults and and and and people of all. ages really but specifically on the. younger side standing outside of these. stores and I want to know what they're.

waiting for they're all in the line and. call height beasts rake hump had his. phone stolen by a hi Beast one day he. was in an uber pool and a kid like a. supreme sweatshirt swiped or he comes. phone and then he had to go to like the. cops and he was like he was reporting. his phone stolen I don't know why it was. just he had to do it for to his. insurance whatever claim I don't know. and he's like my phone was tagging my. hybrid hybrid circuit but the beasts are. they love t-shirts and sneakers and [ __ ].

like that. [ __ ] dot-com online store sells out this. [ __ ] sells out June 27th from June 26 to. tip typically items sell out in a matter. of minutes after we open this toward. noon on certain Fridays why don't you. subscribe to the newsletter of [ __ ] comm. follow on IG or Twitter start mentally. preparing a strategizing on how to cop. items while everyone else is in FOMO. frenzy made and getting carjacked by.

supposed BOTS I'm amazed at these people. are fans of my show but they are and. that's great this is what we want we. want to expand the base you know so this. is great you got to look cool unless you. like I don't have to look cool because. I'm like talented but you're not so get. cool [ __ ] that's how you get laid that's. why people will talk to you be that you.

know white guys now you're just kind of. have to be like good-looking and quiet. and cool that's the only that you just. kind of to stand there not really say. anything if anyone says anything just. say black lives matter and move on on. about your day and the way to do that is. in a [ __ ] shirt [ __ ] pop-up god shut. down by the police Wow. that's how much people care about [ __ ]. at the pop-up we shut down by the police.

it was LAPD huh went in there just did. they shoot anybody. do they show restraint um there's gonna. be no promo codes no free shipping no. discounts no free [ __ ] it's knocking. none that none of these gonna be free. because this has a high resale value.

okay this is a game that the high peace. play they play it very well they buy. this [ __ ] they resell it get in the game. get smart this is online life now this. is digital currency got a really get a. [ __ ] you got a [ __ ] hat on yeah they. sent me this and the jacket yeah great. they are and I got a sweatshirt too I'm. not wearing it but I might um it came.

with a high based hype the open the box. the high B's kits out it's vaping yeah. you know. do you want your branded Wardell they. sent they open it you open the box. brandon waddell yeah I guess give me. that I really want to die go to [ __ ].

calm if you see t.com so call to action. this is real deal [ __ ] okay like this is. serious [ __ ] I know you're like oh it's. just t-shirts it's it's not it's this is. how people make a living now this is how. people look at the Manufacturing's over. the industrial base of the country's.

over you're gonna have to buy and sell. shirts you should subscribe to the. newsletter how do they do that I think. at the website at the website you. subscribe to the newsletter and then we. could see what the founder Mark Burnett. II things right what's he think let's go. to him Eric Brunetti it's easy can you. go back. the [ __ ] thing please Jesus.

easy-to-read of-the-moment short and. concise interview with Eric Bice store. in Malaysia easy to read well it better. be. it better be I don't know if worn piece. is the demo I'm very happy that they're. advertising on the show it's you know I. am a very much into fashion and everyone. knows that and I'm I cannot say enough.

about the culture of shirts and sneakers. and the people that buy these and resell. them I think they're the greatest. Patriots to have ever drawn breath in. this great land I think it's so. important to stand on a line or. digitally wait on a line for shirts and. and you can buy them and resell them. it's very important I'm thrilled about.

this and you like your clothing Ryan I. love this stuff well why do you keep. zipping it up do you think people don't. know how to use a zipper you keep. showing you showing it off by zipping it. up this you know what it reminds you. have a corn heart. I remember corn heart yeah Carhartt car. heart whatever I don't wear it I'm not a. pig I'm not a [ __ ] I'll work on a. [ __ ] the Long Island Railroad what.

are we doing I hope this I hope they're. paying thirty thousand dollars for this. I really do a fire everyone in my whole. [ __ ] team is getting fired by the way. hope everybody's ready for that firing. everyone except my realtor in the desert. it's the only [ __ ] person I like go. to [ __ ] calm WWF uh QCT calm I mean. listen this is it is fun to [ __ ] around.

with this ship I shirt resell it use. your promo code is not promo code right. yeah there's nothing you don't get this. is I. this is high-end go to Tiffany's what do. you think you're gonna get a promo code. for - no hi and they sent me a big. sweatshirt get that I'll put it on I'll. see if I like it.

Ben could have you know prepared before. the show but that's you know that's not. his MO it's not what he does he's too. busy golfing. it's alright give it to me it's blue and.

it has the word [ __ ] hmm comfy. yes cotton it's made it. I had a friend from Honduras I grew up. with him Rolando 50% cotton 50%.

polyester thank you I appreciate that. thank you I ever listening to this over. there the Sinaloa cartel or will whoever. is enjoying this thank you so much I. truly you know there's a lot of people. out here that are into fashion and at. least into the business of buying and. selling things online and it's well. worth it for them it does look cool I. mean I'm for that I'm for going to a you.

know place where there's a cartel and. putting clothes on them I guess I I. think that's cool. I think cartels are cool I really do and. I think that people should have clothing. lines that glamorize you know. potentially negative behavior the. Sinaloa cartel cares like more about. their people than like our government. cares about us it's kind of true you. know what are you gonna do. I mean that by the way and this it. here's the reality and the Sinaloa.

cartel like probably doesn't care that. much about their people but it's still. better than you know follow on Instagram. or Twitter what are they [ __ ] f you. see T on IG or Twitter that's important. to you want to be part of the culture. they didn't give me a link for what am I. like that it's too late to recycle I. want that one can I have that oh is that. a shirt yeah it's kind of cool I like. that and then there's bin Laden well I.

like some of this now yeah some of the. [ __ ] some of it is actually good that's. been bad that's is that a bin Laden. scarf yeah I what can I have that why. don't I have that well I think it's. limited what is this blue [ __ ] [ __ ]. I'm gonna walk around the Cookie Monster. where's the [ __ ] bin Laden scarf what. are we doing or dead rooster from the. the sinaloa video always send me the. bird will - yeah I'm gonna walk around. and look like a blue M&M in this [ __ ].

thing where's the bin Laden scarf or. that let's not recycle it [ __ ] it all. sure it I like that. I want that bin Laden scarf and I want. it now what about those two aliens. what's that one well this stuff is. already sold so I know this is the stuff. that I can't get cuz it's [ __ ] elite. that's pretty cool yeah but that's what. I want [ __ ] like that but I don't get it. I guess they send that who - who Brendan.

Schaub I get to [ __ ] into Cookie Monster. sweatshirt and he's in a [ __ ] he's in. a [ __ ] he looks like a cop it's gonna. get his head caved in [ __ ] calm fu CT. calm if you get the stuff you could. comment on IG and brag about what they. were able to purchase if you get it or.

what you missed out on a lot of kids. making money reselling [ __ ] because of. high resale value is this a UH. is this an ad we got because they. dropped off you know who's podcast. something's not right. right something feels off here [ __ ].

dot-com suc t-dot-com. go to it and get involved with fashion. people ask me where are you on masks. people say to me they're like where are. you on the great mask debate of 2020. here's what I'll say folks as if person. who's 300 pounds and spent the majority. of life drinking and doing cocaine. I don't comment on public health policy. I just don't do it now many comedians do. many celebrities - they might be 7000.

pounds and drug addicts they may eat. their own vomit they may be bulimic and. anorexic or anything but they still. comment on public health policy because. they think people want to hear that from. them they think people want to hear from. them how to be healthy in the middle of. injecting things into every area of. their body I say if you. if I go in a store I wear a mask and let. me tell you why I wear a mask I don't. know [ __ ] about the transmission of. coronavirus I wear a mask is everybody.

else is wearing a mask. okay it's the same reason I wear shoes. when I go into a store it's because. they're required when I'm outside when. I'm alone when I'm in my car wherever I. am I do not wear a mask I don't go. inside restaurants I don't go inside. bars because coronavirus I do believe is. real and I don't want to get it so I. stay on patios and I stay away from. other people other than people I know I. kind of did that before the pandemic I. wasn't just diving into groups of a. hundred people so I don't really have a.

strong feeling on this but just be. prepared for them to reverse what they. said about masks because they've. reversed a lot of other things about. this I'm not saying they will or not I'm. just saying just be ready for it and. stop you know it's this you know. battering ram that people are using. against each other yeah listen man if. you're inside somewhere it's probably a. good idea to wear a mask at the present. moment you don't have to I don't think. it should be a law that you should the. private businesses are allowed to to to.

regulate their business the way they. want to and if they mandate that you. wear a mask you have to wear a mask if. you walk in without a mask and they've. asked you to wear a mask you're being a. dick you're just being a dick for no. reason in wherever shopping you know. supermarket you're going into you know. what makes me mad about the masks I was. in the desert and that's where I'm. spending a lot of time that go out to. the desert I go to the desert you know. I'm I am Tim Dylan the only comedian. left in LA I'm kidding and that's a. comedy we're a comedy show I go to the.

desert now and while you let the left I. go to a comedy show I mean I don't go to. that I go to the dead buy these tickets. for these shows in August that I'm sure. will be canceled I'm kidding. buy the tickets I go to the desert and I. and you know we go to this Mexican. restaurant and it's outside and you have. to walk inside for like a brief minute. to get to your table outside okay you go.

in and then the woman starts. with damask she goes you gotta have the. mask on I said listen I'm walking with. my two friends we're alone they're like. we gotta met wear a mask on all the. common areas of the restaurant I'm like. well I don't want to be in the common. area of the restaurant I want to walk to. my table so you're making me put on a. mask so that when I get to my table I. take the mask off what are we doing it's.

five seconds to walk to the table I'll. have to put my mask on for what I. understand if I'm standing in a grocery. store or if I'm sitting inside of a. place but I'm literally walking through. to get to my table and the woman's like. you got to have your mask on and then if. you don't have your masters gotta go. like this this is my favorite thing. people just put their shirt above their. nose stop blaming the protests stop.

blaming the early reopening we all. decided we all came together and said. we're done with this everyone's I want. to go back to work I need to go back to. work I need to throw a brick through the. window at a target I need to burn the. thing down and I get it because cops are. [ __ ] nuts and people want to get out. there some people want to do to. rattlesnake bite some people want to get. out there and [ __ ] you know attack. the government whatever it's fine. whatever you're doing is fine you just.

want to be outside are you going to. Denny's are you burning it down it. doesn't matter you just want to get out. don't one side can't blame the other. side they have to unite fat people that. take cruises and violent anarchists have. to unite their fat people can wear.

suicide vests that will pack so much. dynamite in them that they could take. out the entire House of Representatives. with one fart you understand. why should people go together let's stop. blaming everybody there's so much anger. in the country right now I don't know. what to do there's so much consternation. there's so much bitterness there's so.

much division no leadership. there's no except here on this program. here but nowhere else is there any. leadership I've suggested what to do. military tribunals for every everybody. involved with big mouths everyone wears. have you heard that. where are your woke friends your woke. friends didn't say that have that I. think Sarah Cooper's talented she's a. pleasant woman and she does need the. Trump thing please stop calling her the.

greatest political satirist of our time. please stop I like her and I think what. she's doing is fun but please let's not. get hysterical as we always do okay I'm. not mad at her I want her to have all. the opportunities sure I get it but. let's rein it in she would probably. agree with that okay. I know everyone loves her and no one. loves me and that's okay this town does. not love me they don't love me Jerry.

Seinfeld does not love me. Patton Oswalt doesn't love me they don't. retweet me they don't care. they've taken no interest in me nor will. they and and I realize that's because of. my words and actions the reason that. these people don't [ __ ] with me is. because of my words and actions my. general demeanor my beliefs and my. unwillingness to compromise them for. whatever so I get it I'm not hating on. anyone I want everyone to do well but. it's just what it is and I have these.

meetings with everyone and everyone's. like you should have your own show. here's the deal when I when I'm about to. have my own show I will be called into a. room or it'll be a zoom conference and. somebody an executive will say will you. apologize for when you and Louis Gomez. and Nick Mullen did Sebastian Maniscalco. goes to Africa bed where you basically. said and I quote let's let the Italians. cater the clitoris to me.

will you apologize for that and I will. go no that is funny and they will go. yeah but now so that's why I won't have. a show it's not going to happen so I. won't apologize and then and then even. if I do so if I apologize and I look you. know and I and I go against everything I. believe then they give me one or two. seasons of a show and then I'm gonna. come back to this podcast and ask you. guys to [ __ ] you know like give a. [ __ ] about me after I've just. compromised it's just doesn't it's not.

the way it works. I'd love a show I'd love them to let me. do a show or a movie but that's not what. it's gonna be they're just gonna give it. to people that lip-synch I miss what. Twitter is it's let you know everybody. meets without tick-tock everybody on. tick-tock and they go lip synch let they. don'ts nobody sings their songs nobody. writes songs I mean it's a it's a it's. it's very strange what's going on right. now it's very strange that people are. enjoying people lip-sync things other.

people did not as a novelty as like. entertainment it's interesting but the. answer what the younger generation wants. they want to lip-sync they want they. want people that are good-looking it's. all about optics you know what a. good-looking person to lip-sync a song. it was great as if you go on tik-tok you. just see the white kids dancing trying. to not say the n-word that's the whole.

challenge of tik-tok that's the. challenge of tik-tok you know white kid. you can't say the n-word they're like ah. they smile they just got a smile through. the n-bomb they just can't say it can't. say it Florida man Florida's like. they're just drowning in a sea Iran and. they don't give a [ __ ] and shout out the. Florida shoutout to the greatest state. that's ever been yeah I this is why I.

love Florida I went to side's Pettersson. campus and I just [ __ ] on Tampa for 20. minutes and when I was done shooting on. it they seemed disappointed they they. know what it is down there they know. what it is. one of our greatest episodes brownie. bout on the patreon details my time in. Florida but I respite my friend. this kid Dan Carney who used to open for. me when the world existed he's gonna. come to LA for a little while he's down. to Florida right now and he said it's.

just you know wild like it's just wild. down there it's just it's you know. there's people running around what is. that a bug a moth we're in like a carpet. in hell you know I mean can you imagine. loser you have to be to have an. apartment the carpet like why we have. carpets here you have to be [ __ ] if. you have a carpet but Dan was just. saying that he ran into some old lady. like he's picking up a pizza yeah and. yeah some old lady's sitting outside the. pizza place she's like it's just.

fear-mongering from the military so like. I like. that like I say maybe I end up there do. I end up there those seem to be fun. people they don't have blue checkmarks. they're blue lips because they're. overdosing on oxycodone and that might. be my demo let's our Cooper if Hollywood. God lover I support it. she's a pretty she does an interesting. look to it's very she's very pretty. though she's like someone you want to.

get to know she you see or anything I. want to get to know where I want to have. lunch with her I want to spend time with. her people see me that's not their. feeling they want me to tell them. something and then leave immediately you. know there are people like that we I've. had those characters populated my entire. life people that you want to say. something and then go away I tell us. something and then get out of here we. just had the old guy from from upstairs. wanted to look at the tile on the UH on. the deck on the whatever it is what is.

that called it's just a balcony yeah. it's a balcony it's not a deck it's a. balcony uh and then the guy comes down. and he's like the building was built in. 1947 and it's like yeah yeah he starts. to go into like the way the different. apartments were configured and he's been. here 50 years he's been here 50 years. you know then he starts doing this thing. my favorite thing is like why would I go. buy a condo for 1.3 million when I got. the space I need up there I'm like well.

that's true and also you don't have the. money to do that you also don't have 1.3. million dollars that's part of the. reason why I'm gonna go buy a condo I. got all the space any year I was talking. to big Jays ex-wife who I love Carla fat. Carla I call her she's a plump woman as. a mine and she was telling me she had. coronavirus in Long Island she was. having like blood clots in her mouth I'm. like spitting out the blood she like.

such a horrible bloody nose she's just. like spitting blood and she was like. standing outside of an urgent can she's. like open second I have another mask my. mask saw bloody so that's wrong that's. the way long guy has been handling. coronavirus just stroking out outside of. urgent cares spitting blood like. velociraptors she told me she goes she. goes my daughter was so happy the first. time she could have chipotle we both. started crying because the first time we. could eat. she just imagine that just chubby people.

in Long Island in a Chipotle just crying. just crying into a burrito ball yeah I. mean Long Island is a I mean it's wild. God love I like her she's handling my. tickets I my license is suspended right. now the Long Island comedy club has. opened a comedy club in the alley of. their building governor's comedy club. which has banned me his opening uh they. have all I said was that the audience. was grotesque wearing sweat pants I said. they were wearing their starter jackets.

on from the 90s and what do you want me. to do [ __ ] you want me to lie you want. me to tell them they're hot I didn't say. they were bad audience I said they were. grotesque it looked like you know I mean. you know the Hollywood improv the. audience is like hot influencers and. they suck after time yeah look how thick. I didn't think it's funny. I don't think it's funny I don't think. it's good where's the comedian from the. Netflix shop.

but you know I'm bands at and I like him. we're having good we're gonna have to. Leon why not let's do it rough couple of. weeks. but not no one's been convicted that's. the reality I believe the rule of law. not really but I believe in due process. I believe you got to give people their.

day in court I believe that yeah I have. no problem with him on a personal level. you know if he's done the things people. have said then then it's like no good I. understand that you know what I mean but. I mean I will have them on to plead his. case though he should do a bigger show. than this you know probably shouldn't. come on here probably low rent you know.

he badge his team be like what show did. you do she - Rogan what do you do he's. like I did have a Tim Dylan show like. what what if we have Krista Leon next. week with Candice Owens what if what if. we did that and like he doesn't know. she's on yeah somehow I get cancelled. him and her start dating we're having. fun folks it's the end times you must.

enjoy yourselves. Chris you're on the program with Candice. Owens you know Candice D'Elia defends. himself oh yeah with guest Candice Owens. what a fun episode I'm just trying to. figure out how to have fun I'm getting. bored I want to have a little fun let's. kick up a little dust like that girl Kat. Cohen was uh she's a talented comedian.

she's a UH out of New York City she does. uh like um you know cabaret comedy and. she sings she tests what she does and. then she got she did a sketch and I. talked about this on the patreon she did. a sketch where she was satirizing white. racism or millennial entitlement. whatever and she put up one of her. friends a black guy in a news cuz one of. the bits was she's like my parents owned. slaves there's a black guy named news. and it came out like two weeks ago that. was like not the week right for that to. emerge but I just like I just thought it.

would be funny if like she just went all. right cabaret she was like Bale the wall. build it now let's talk about the shapes. of skulls would it not be funny if she. did that yeah it would be funny why. can't we just admit that that would be. funny if she went to if she was in.

neo-nazi yeah. cabaret there's enough gay people in the. alright that she could make a probably. pretty decent career at that yeah. culture matters so these gay guys the. audience who's on the path cat what. who's on the piano I don't know who can. play Phu Spencer who can play piano I. don't know I don't know which one of. those guys can play piano you have to. find it out culture matters Europeans.

built our lands she's just like you know. but she galya galya quote right Nazis. yeah there'd be something there is what. I'm saying. where are the managers you can see this. I can see it it may not be a good idea. for Korea wouldn't be that it would be. short-lived if she became a Nazi cab. Iraq it would be short lived a short. window but strike while the iron is hot. get in there and give him a few hits get.

a few hits and move on you know she'd. just come out like you know like uh. whatever you know like a sash you know. and she just sits on the thing she grabs. a microphone is somebody doing with. piano and she's like let's talk about. crime rates it's uncomfortable. and everybody's like swaying would be.

hilarious so next week Chris Thalia. Candice sounds we got it we got to shake. it up a little bit here folks why not. have a little fun we're gonna be a war. with China in six months. how's that second slice of cake. break your keto diet it's it's coming. China's gonna come and I don't know I. hope this is not true but I've heard. I've heard this is what I've heard I've.

heard that China the country of China. okay I've heard is behind a lot of. what's happening right now they're. behind it. from what happened - big mouth - up who.

on The Simpsons. I heard trying to gave Hari Kondabolu. money and they pushed him to make the. documentary there's something wrong with. that poo right wasn't that the. documentary yeah I think that's it was. it who took a poo was it documentary. about a poo but I think China's behind. that documentary is very divisive the. problem with the poo is that what I said.

I think so yeah oh I said something is. wrong with a book well the problem with. the poo I think China China is B this is. China's sewing division and this is how. they did it they made a documentary. about a beloved character on The. Simpsons named a poo it was a business. owner yeah he was an immigrant to. America he was beloved people liked him. but the problem of the poo was that he. owned business or who's he owned a. quickie Marty because people don't like.

the idea that Indians or any race is. stereotyped. Irish people being drunk Italian people. being criminals now The Simpsons had had. the Italians were criminals the. gangsters right they had the the mayor. who's very creepy who's a Kennedy guy. that Homer who's the white American. buffoon the ultimate American idiot. right. they had Patty and Selma the whatever.

spinster smoking potentially dykes we. don't know but they had a lot of these. characters who played in those. stereotypes but a poo is especially. distressing to Indian people I guess. because they were teased with the accent. yeah people would tease them with the. accent um and then and that was hurtful. to them when my grandfather was growing. up he was Irish and then there others.

were people were Italian and they would. beat the [ __ ] out of each other with. like weapons on the streets of New York. City people aren't nice to each other. that isn't new we don't need a cartoon. to give kids the excuse to be cruel kids. are nasty and cruel and vicious and. vindictive ask Thalia that's a joke I'm.

kidding and I'm I've done nothing but. help so I get it I was made fun of it as. a kid okay people always may in front of. me oh you're so cool you're so popular. he's so shallow you're fake you just you. just want to be with rich people I took. abuse people like oh yeah mr. [ __ ]. popular mr. Everybody Loves You mr. do. whatever you want. mr. hangs out with all the cool kids mr. gets all the good drugs I took horrible.

abuse as a child I would lay awake at. night oh you don't care about anybody. you're always with the cool people you. just always at the coolest parties I get. it I get it when someone comes at you. autumn doesn't care about his friends he. just likes to cool kids cuz they love. him everyone loves you that's what. people you say to me it was ready to. hurt when they go yeah everyone. loves you like literally everyone I. would hear that and I have to go home. and process that do you know how hard.

that is to hear constantly that I'm. adored and loved and an iconic figure. that is hard so I get it if somebody. went up to you and good I get it and I'm. not for it I'm not for that I am against. doing that to people but I'm also. against creating a world where we're. because how many sacrifices will we have.

to make as people to create a world. where and by the way this would be. impossible but the idea is that we could. create a world where the likelihood of. that happening is is not is is less by. taking away an Indian character who owns. a store and has an Indian accent Indian. people sound like that I like that. accent I like accents I like West. Indians I like it if I like that they. sound different who's the racist.

I love Jackson Heights I like them and. they like me they love brown people love. a fat person they're the only ones that. do and you go in and you eat gulab jamun. it's like a pancake it's too shaped like. a small ball I used to going with. Raymond and they would bring us these. deep-fried things and they're in it they. they date date they fry them and like. there's a lot of diabetes there they fry. them in like some type of syrup and they. spit syrup glob jamun they spits here.

and myself and Raymond you just go to. Jackson Heights and all the Indians. would come and share it not mouth like. that me go we're not rah rah rah rah rah. rah and and all of the pinions would. love us and many many of them would do a. traditional dance around us so this idea. that people shouldn't be different or be. stereotyped is stupid it's crazy it's. crazy I don't understand what's what's. the problem. with a guy that owns a kwik-e-mart he's.

doing good yeah. well if not all on the Indians Oh quick. money of course they don't of course. some are comedians some are losers but. the ones that aren't I mean so Hank. Azaria played the Indian character a poo. in the Simpsons and he said he was. stepping down from the role following. years of controversy now that role by. the way do you know who's gonna play. that role now Jenny slate Jenny slate.

will be doing it now and I saw and I. support them. what if Jenny slate see these people. were [ __ ] funny Jenny slate would. tweet I'm now going to be a poo I'm. gonna tweet that right now I'm gonna. tweet I'm gonna I'm gonna tweet very. happy than Hank Azaria step down that. Jenny slate will be voicing the role of. a parade we're trying to have fun I. don't understand I mean nobody can have.

any fun anymore everything's outlawed. this is why people are out in the. streets have you heard of this new thing. they think the cop did de Blasio got rid. of that plane closed NYPD officers so. they think there's a conspiracy that the. block is there's a lot of fireworks. going on raised in Brooklyn he told me. that so there's a conspiracy that the. Blasio and the cops or whoever are just. giving fireworks to homeless people. letting them go crazy with them so that. it's an excuse because they just came up. with this new fireworks Commission which.

will be undercover people so it's like. they took away the Undercovers but. they're like okay but where we this this. new groups gonna be undercover this is. what people don't understand they they. think abolish the police there's not. gonna be any law and order in the world. there's gotta be law and order and you. might like it less power vacuums are. gonna be filled you know this is the. result of people that go to college and. have no they have no [ __ ]. understanding of how the world works and. they think they can like shame to you.

that doesn't work in real life go up to. somebody who realize me like I'm excuse. me I think that you're a bit like you. can't build people put a gun in your. face so punch him in the face they'll. put it and I'll cut your throat it. doesn't work your Twitter antics don't. work in real life not with criminals. now with. criminals people that want to kill you. don't really care if you can't go and. cancel people that want to kill you. that's not the way it works CAD salt.

your cab fault. after fronting critically-acclaimed rock. band lionize who they are talented and. they're fans of the show of the past. decade for the past decade. Nate Bergman is making his first solo. music that's already being described by. classic rock magazine 'as Otis Redding. crossed with Bruce Springsteen and. making instantly likable Tunes that hold. their own metal hammer UK says Bergman. has one of the most original voices in. modern music and distorted sound. describes his first solo show in London.

as a jaw-dropping performance American. press American songwriter says painfully. honest and witty lyrics that are. delivered through powerhouse vocals the. songs were recorded analogue and feature. real instruments which Nate played all. of himself Wow that's [ __ ] rare it. sounds very different from it sounds but. it sounds very different from dozy cat. if you love dosha cat you might not love. this.

there's no songs about buts I mean who. wrote that did he write that probably. him I started beef with Dozier cat you. know however there are songs about allen. dulles and i'm being trolled by the ants. now I'm dead serious now are they are. the ads of troll this week because if. they are it's good but if they're not.

everyone's getting fired there's songs. about allen dulles middle of the end is. about allen dulles and the life of the. American entertainer living on the line. Nate is a rough member of the patreon. and has been a fan and supporter for. many years well thank you Nate we don't. need to start a war with dozy cat we've. had a rough couple of weeks anyway you. could go to. on patreon.com slash Nate Bergman sings.

for just $5 a month the patreon features. exclusive studio songs live streams and. playlists companions that are uploaded. everyone can we play some of what he's. done on this yeah let's find his stuff. right now. [Music].

dr. Livingstone. [Music]. he's got a great voice but they're up. there it's coming out of the girl. [Music].

called the middle of the end go back to. that what is song about isn't that one. of the episodes in my podcast called. middle of the end cuz I said to rag or. the beginning at the end and Ray said it. where the middle yeah right where's my. money. this games mind that's the title of one. of my podcast do we have a lawyer who's.

representing us skin nuts trying to. start with dosha cat and then saying you. gonna names he he's like you might like. my new song life in the big city right I. mean he has a good voice. he plays instruments we appreciate that. is he going out on his own now is he. done with lionize looks like he's solo. now what happened to lionize bands are. rough man can you go up.

yeah I mean is this good he's got a lot. of great reviews people are into it. maybe he still would lionize I don't I. don't want to say he's not you know but. he's it's time to go out solo those guys. I mean everybody's probably losing a lot. of money now because of this you know. bands bands make money touring man it's. very tough so if you go to.

patreon.com/scishow and sings I mean. he's doing music about this show so. you'll probably like it if you're a fan. of the show you're a fan of the show. you'll like what he's about he's got a. great voice he plays you know he plays. an instrument his website Nate Bergman. sings comments through Wix when we had. Wix as a sponsor [ __ ] Wix now but thank. you for doing that dad Nate Instagram. Nate Bergman sings go follow him. twitter.com Nate Bergman sings so go.

show him support he's clearly a fan of. the show he really sings he really plays. music I respect that. I appreciate that he's no joke you know. he's just not you know he doesn't love. the cat those your cat that's okay I. think he should try to collab with the. cat you know I get it good for him you.

know I support anyone in the arts I mean. you know not not really but I think it's. a nice thing to say even if not to do um. Nate Bergman ber GMA and Nate Bergman. sings calm patreon.com slash Nate.

Bergman sings for just $5 a month. it features exclusive studio songs live. streams and playlist companions that are. uploaded every week it's probably a good. idea if you want to be a musician this. guy might like to live streams and play. you know why don't you teach people a. little guitar on there you know it's an. idea Nate. why do you throw a little guitar. tutorial in there teach people about. music a little bit battle that might get.

them over it's a good idea it's a good. idea I'm full of good ideas left BMG. records after a major label failed to. launch a previous band and is releasing. music exclusively through patreon Wow. Wow. pretty cool this advertisement was paid. for with the current stimulus check in. several weeks unemployment good we. appreciate that and we're going to send.

some people your way but I think you got. to teach them a little guitar on there. or whatever you do teach them a little. tutorial tell them about the music. business tell them what they got to do. to succeed tell them the good the bad. the ugly get you know get in there. really create a community of people that. want to be musicians I don't want them. I'm kidding I don't have anything that. you know I've none offer them but I mean. this guy is really committed to to doing. this so it's patreon.com slash Nate.

Bergman sings Instagram at Nate na te. Bergman BER GMA n sings same on Twitter. go give him a follow if you like what. you see go over to that patreon he's. seeing for five dollars a month. he's literally singing for his supper. and then about that song mill at the end. we will have an attorney contact him and.

we will threaten him and we will suit no. I'm kidding you have my blessing you can. do all of the make a who took Johnny. themed album whatever you want to do we. appreciate it we like that you are a fan. of the show and the life of the American. entertainer living on the line. interesting. wonder what that songs about the life of. the American entertainer living on the.

line everything is a screen shot a. screen shot frozen in time they can. reimburse whenever screen shots suck oh. Jesus. Nate Birdman sinks that was made by the.

way just pump through my nate has a. sing-along with Louis Farrakhan on his. patreon if you want to go check that out. he teaches Louis Farrakhan how to play. guitar I didn't know that I think that's. kind of cool he says I enjoy playing. music but I enjoy playing music the most.

when I do it with Louis Farrakhan okay. it's interesting but that's fair me and. Louis started jamming and we really. respect each other's styles so if you. want exclusive content from Nate and. Louis Farrakhan go to his patreon they.

play classical gasp yeah the song Nate. Bergman of lyin eyes what happened to. lionize that's the question the major. label failed to launch the previous band. so what does that mean you just went. solo gotcha. BMG records they [ __ ] him over it. looks like it's crazy. what's awkward is that our next ad is.

for BMG records that's kind of awkward. but what are you gonna do patreon.com. Nate Bergman sings he's a talented man. he's now on his own if you love those. your cat you might not love this but you. know what I think he's wrong there I. think there's room for Birdman and does. your cat you know I think there's room. for everybody.

nate louis farrakhan and does your cat. that's a collab those your cat in lose. Farrakhan collaborated show this man. some love audience go and follow him and. go and do whatever you know do whatever. feels right support the man he spent. money on the ad we appreciate that. we love independent creators artists.

musicians whatever and we need them in. this country you know we need them we. also appreciate the cat but you know. we're all over the place here so patreon. calm mate Bergman sings Nate Bergman. sings on everything Twitter Instagram. Nate Bergman sings calm keep up with. them and we wish him the best. Hajin created a refreshing electrolyte. packed drink mix that me mix directly. into your water efficiently and. effectively hydrated the body each rapid.

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here is a refreshing electrolyte packed. drink mix it's easy okay and let's be. honest if you like to booze it up this. is what you drink in the morning if you. have a couple of cocktails you drink. this you're good to go it's not. alcoholism you're just fun. so Hydra don't get you going so you. could stare at your kids and wife and go. alright alright alright daddy's feeling. good now go to drink hydrant calm slash.

Tim D RI NK hydr a and T hydrant drink. hydrant calm slash Tim you're gonna love. it. it helps the show it helps you it helps. America it's what's needed do it now. Family Guy star Mike Henry will no. longer play Cleveland Brown how do you. made the announcement Friday on Twitter. it's been an honor to play Cleveland. Family Guy for 20 years I love this.

character but persons of color should by. the way how regressive does that sound. I love these character but persons of. color pursues a color should get their. chance into role pursing to color that's. like this is a little incense is all. from today are they gonna see this on. the show yeah yeah yeah. Netflix pulls community episode over. blackface gets its kenji on it looks. great Duke ng on can't Asians do.

blackface what are the rules Ken Jong's. like four feet tall well they do in. China right I think they do I'm doing a. blackface tour in China later this year. III antenna I as as a backup Liz oh I. make a lot of money doing that in China. I just they just play one of her songs. and I just. blame it on and I just put blackface on. I go and I got a two black leg that's. the real rough one they gotta put my.

thigh in it all and I just go blaming on. the juice you can blame it on the juice. and I'm sick juice not choose but who. knows what that song really means I mean. do ten giong in black like if I don't. wedding that would be my wedding. invitation with Ken Jeong in blackface I. mean this is it's literally crazy saying. but here's the thing it doesn't look. like a black person I know how to get. this off please get us taken down off.

YouTube you'll leave that up there for. too long so the guy who played Cleveland. is just gonna dip after 20 years it. looks like there's a purge right now 30. rock took down episodes with blackface. and other shows how much the question is. just an aside how much blackface was. going on Sarah Silverman did one in 2008. I know it's weird it's like I didn't. realize there was a lot of blackface. going on yeah I didn't realize how much. blackface was happening there like the. view is taking down an episode where all. the ladies to blackface I'm Barbara.

Walters and today I'm in blackface to. honor the great Harriet Tubman yeah yeah. I mean was this just happening. everywhere this everybody do blackface. in this country I just wasn't aware of. it just Lane Maxwell being canceled over. blackface photo next on Access Hollywood. Jeffrey Epstein some interest is asking. the country for forgiveness because she. went is a point she went as Diana Ross.

one Halloween but do you understand what. I mean folks were just kind of losing. our minds here about this and I know I'm. a white guy and that's easy for me to. say you know but I am Irish and there is. no group of people in this country they. suffered more than the Irish nobody. nobody our lives our other tragedy no. matter would no matter who you know I. mean the Irish we are a damned race this.

little Marxist on Twitter always says. that Sean McCarthy who's uh she's sweet. kid he's not he's sweet kid. he doesn't think anyone should have more. than 5,000. but I like him he's like this little guy. could sunken and I was funny he's very. funny. he's very funny on Twitter and a nice. like a genuinely nice guy like a. sweetheart he's got a pretty wife like. he's like a good person um but he always. talked about that like he'll he's one of. these guys who understands like the. Irish Shiva last name like McCarthy. people expect you to be a loser Dylan I.

can hide cuz it's French Dylan has a. little friendship but if your last names. like Oh Lachlan Oh Oh flare 'ti imagine. going through the world with the name. clarity yeah like you know go to Irish. last names. how sad people's lives are with an Irish. last name its eyes I would argue I would. argue that if your name is O'Sullivan. it's almost it's almost as bad as having. having been asleep.

let's see Irish last names Kelly Byrne. RINO saw the the O's the bad ones like. oh oh Lachlan. these are the boys here we are here's. some Irish last names top ones are. Murphy Kelly keep going down O'Sullivan.

Walsh myth O'Brien burn O'Connor O'Neill. O'Reilly Doyle toil hello my name is. patty Doyle yeah you're gonna fail. Gallagher Gallagher oof. this is worse keep going. McLaughlin John McLaughlin O'Carroll. nobody nobody who the name Oh Carol is. doing well you know about my friend.

Bobby Oh Carol his wife lit him on fire. while they slept she said a banshee told. her to do it. Boyle Oh. Boyle the last name is boiled this is. these people power I've never heard that. I've never heard an Irish president be. power. I know Cavanaugh is Irish Cavanaugh. Brett Kavanaugh see you will not succeed. with a name like Cavanaugh never named.

like Cavanaugh what are you gonna do you. know Brett Kavanaugh he's yeah yeah okay. so he's on the Supreme Court I bet he. couldn't be the president Higgins. Higgins when I thought I liked girls had. a crush on a girl whose last name is. Higgins she's I bet she has a horrible. life now horrible horrible life horrible. it's a horrible life Chris you know.

Candice right I mean all we're trying to. do folks we gotta bring some enjoyment. back everything's too tight that's what. I was going to be silly this whole show. Chyna's going to fight us they're. probably going to win maybe not but if. we keep being [ __ ] losers about. everything like literally everything. it's gonna be a problem you know toughen.

up a little. fetishizing trauma the word trauma. lightly traumas something serious trauma. should be reserved for genuine victims. of rape and sexual assault and soldiers. who've we've asked to kill children for. no reason that those people should have. trauma okay. like not people that want to hurt. something offensive or saw something. they didn't like they're like I have the. trauma the trauma stays with me out.

traumas for soldiers decided for the. military because they think they're. doing the right thing and then they end. up in Afghanistan protecting pedophile. warlords that's who the word trauma is. for okay that's somebody who goes to an. open mic and here's something they don't. like am i right who's gonna play.

Cleveland now no one knows being reims. is you think VIN right but Cleveland's. like a white black guy right kind it's. like a whiny suburban guy I'm not saying. black guys can't be whining suburban but. like we don't think of them as that. should we should we start thinking of. black guys like [ __ ] is that I mean I. know these the argument is like oh okay. but I don't think of black people as. criminals either you know like people. like oh you think you're scared of them.

you think of them as criminals I was. like nah no I just don't think they're. [ __ ] so I don't think of them as like. wow wow wow wow like that's what. Cleveland is right Wow. I guess maybe that's what everybody want. you know um like Cleveland is the white. voice the black comedians do you know. right. that's what Cleveland always was so I. was like that's why the characters funny. he's like just big loaf of bread. Cleveland you know like he's not what do.

we get have a thug Cleveland like a guys. like Moe [ __ ] I'm Cleveland like what. you know are we missing the point of. Cleveland a little bit he was like a fat. white [ __ ]. he's talking about cuz I took a suburban. male with tents should be like [ __ ]. voice by a white guy yeah some just some. lactating old white male. I just got milky titties he's driving a. Home Depot that he goes through the.

[ __ ] drive-through us somewhere just. left that a little fart and just eat. something that's what we think of. Cleveland you don't think I like a cool. black dude right we don't think of. anyone who says any even if [ __ ] like we. don't think of like like Peter Griffin. Cleveland's like a guy that hang out. with Peter Griffin right look fat. suburban losers and quagmire who's a. rapist. yeah crime quagmire the rapist sig not. what are we fighting over make more.

opportunities for black people make. better shows black people don't watch a. lot of your [ __ ] cuz it's wack yeah it's. wack it sucks a lot of my black friends. don't [ __ ] with this [ __ ] cuz it's bad I. don't mean Family Guy but I mean a lot. of the stuff that woke [ __ ] people. nobody watched a nightly show no one. watched it of any race watch the nightly. show so it wasn't good it was not good. was that Larry Whitmore Wilmore Wilmore.

sorry don't erase him by saying Whitmore. I'm just saying we've lost our mind a. little bit here folks we're starting. it's starting to get it starting to feel. weird starting to feel very strange in. the sense that it's nothing's enough for. anybody I don't know what the future is.

people like why people can't write roles. for black people now like right white. people can't write a character for a. black I mean like what are we doing are. we going back to the separate water. fountains Luscombe has made a point. today it's like at what point do we just. this seems like we're bringing back. segregation it seems like that white. fertility book we're written by a white. woman by the way I mean that if you read. any of that the dance they want you to. do when you meet someone so that you. don't offend them it's like no one will.

ever be friends again right show him a. cause he by the way who I like on. Twitter follow him by the way get his. handle up he thinks it is kind of. interesting that identity politics is. the CIA's way of preventing any class. cohesion that's not it. Shawn no I don't know find him okay and. and he might have a point there like. he's like maybe all these big businesses. and you know you know intelligence you. know you know agencies and stuff keep.

pushing this kind of radical identity. politics because it prevents any unity. amongst a class of people okay so that's. what he said like he's like this he has. a podcast called grub stalkers pod I. don't know what that's about they just I. don't know they give billionaires of. lashing or something but he's a funny. guy but he's he had a good point about. that where it's like the ruling class is. kind of served by continually dividing.

people and it seems weird to kind of. like divide them my desk I don't know. then he says other wacky stuff like. nobody could have more than five hundred. thousand dollars Sean stop it. you're out of your mind. so follow that guy like him you won't. agree with everything he says but he's. very funny get my Twitter up follow me. too. by the way follow me on Twitter many of. you don't and it's unfortunate we're.

changing the name of the cancel your. family tour I think we're gonna call it. life in the big city tour cancel your. family just seems a little tone deaf now. with Corona I don't know it also feels. like it's over. Dick Cheney says to wear a mask and I. listen to Dick Cheney why because Dick. Cheney pulled off 9/11 right Donald. Trump can't even [ __ ] pull off a wall. this guy soldered 3000 people on our own.

soil. that's [ __ ] impressive and he says. we're masks I'm listening to him I'm. listening to a guy that killed 3,000 of. our own people I'm sorry I am okay yeah. he doesn't need to be a medical expert. I'm listening to a guy that instituted a. torture program and and and and and got. us out of that [ __ ] Geneva Convention.

it says we shouldn't torture people. this guy tortured innocent people and he. killed them and that's who I listen to. guys who kill us and kill innocent. people and invade countries for no. reason really and and make a lot of. money for Halliburton and other defense. contractors and if he says wear a mask I. listen to him I listen to a guy who. spends most of the day torturing people. and a little part of the day being nice. to his lesbian daughter which is a nice.

thing that he does that but I listen to. that guy I support that guy so if you're. not wearing a mask right now you're. making Dick Cheney unhappy and I don't. want to live in a country where you. ungrateful for are you dead. did he kill you did he torture you I. seem to remember the economy doing. pretty well after 9/11 thank you sir.

thank you Dick Cheney so when a genocide. or mass murderer who Institute's torture. wears a mask and a cowboy hat. I listen when a genocide Oh monster who. is responding now this is this is what I. realize my career that like this this. rant right now is limits me this is. limiting right this is limiting you know.

what I mean like I feel like I feel like. that like certain like this isn't like. Ellen who doesn't want this you know. what I mean Ellen doesn't want this. Ellen wants to hang out with Dick Cheney. Ellen wants to go to Abu Ghraib and see. where the blood got spilled and that's. why she makes 80 million dollars a year. and I'm very grateful for my patreon. thank you for that but I'll never make. that kind of money because what I. respect about Ellen is Ellen wants to.

smell the burning flesh you see so she. wouldn't she wouldn't go on a rant like. this because there you know she would. she'd meet Dick Cheney somewhere you. know who knows Ellen's probably at. Bohemian Grove like leading that. cremation of care ceremony yeah she's. Ellen and she's like dancing and all. these billionaire CEOs are dancing their. world tech talking Dick Cheney's. tick-tocking in front of the owl in.

front of the owl in front of Moloch. they're just playing the plains going. into the buildings and they're all just. [ __ ] like remember 2001 everybody's. got masks on they're watching the planes. go out of the buildings Ellen's just. [ __ ] there in front of the owl she's. [ __ ] doing the Charleston everybody's. there all the big CEOs the big media. heads they're all there Anderson. Cooper's there Cheney's pissin in his. mouth you know Don lemons there. everybody's having fun you know.

imagine if I like financially my career. gets better I'm on CNN with a manager. Cooper interviews Maine is like hey I'm. like hey cuz I will have to do like I. will I will have to meet some of these. people eventually like on a show when. they interview me and I'm like how are. you how's it been uh Timmy meant to me. Fallon no no how are you how are you how.

are you I don't think I meet him but I. might I'm just in an area that like I. could meet him I'm not expecting to I'm. not gonna like hang out with him I'm not. in that rarefied air of comedians it's. up there but like I could be in a place. where he might be and they're like there. could be like just this awkward I don't. think he knows who I am hopefully but. that that Clips almost got a million. views of me saying he bit someone's tit. that's funny though.

so all I'm trying to say this is how me. in any episode Jenny slate needs to go. to jail. Dick Cheney does not okay old Dick. Cheney did was lice into a couple of. wars pull off a false flag to get us. into them Institute torture bankrupt our. country and and use it to kill innocent. people both at home and abroad Jenny. slate erased a black person using a.

cartoon she's sick [ __ ] you know what I. mean. so I think she could go to jail and the. only way that she can redeem herself the. only way that Jenny slate can redeem. herself is if she can do Cleveland. Browns voice and if she can't do. Cleveland Browns voice that I've had. enough and she goes to the gulag but is.

that a funny or tweet if I say should I. tweet Jenny slate Congrats EJ said uh. Nana job voicing Cleveland Brown I'm so. ready to get out of this business and. move to the desert you have no idea I'm. a year. away from Florida or the desert we I. don't know but I'm so close to just. pulling the [ __ ] chain get the [ __ ]. out of here I don't care anymore [ __ ]. meetings with people so what about what. about like what about what about what.

about what about what about like hey hey. it's Josh it's Josh you chill hey hey. it's like what about what about the show. it's like you like what about what about. have you ever thought of like have you. considered you know it would be really. good like I really see you in hey shut. up shut up you go get me a show I'm. gonna get Rosie and Arnold on it to talk. about Q first [ __ ] episode first. episode if I have a [ __ ] show first.

episode everybody's gonna have the. script to like we're ready to shoot and. then I go throw the script away boys and. then I bring Rosie and Arnold on I sit. her down i light her a cigarette and I. say challenge to truth Rose tell us the. truth see everybody being like. everybody's like paranoid reservation at. a restaurant Beverly Hills in half an. hour okay. I like ocean prime in Beverly Hills cuz. it's a it's a it's a it's a it's an.

expensive Red Lobster and it's very. diverse black people of exhale of. seafood I love seafood and shellfish. that's why I go most most restaurants in. Beverly Hills are very white and Persian. but I like ocean promises like a big Red. Lobster mhm. that's my commitment to diversity I used. to eat there with LaToya Jackson all the. time she was in another table I'd be in. another chain you know I don't know. folks how great would that be just to. show first episode I just bring Roseanne.

on did you can you play the Roseanne. Donald Trump but did you see what she. did recently oh I think so yeah he's a. [ __ ] genius I'm supposed to be on a. show can her [ __ ] son please get in. contact with me cuz your [ __ ] mother. is literally the one of the last [ __ ]. OGIS left in this [ __ ] game I don't. care what she believes it I'll find it. did she everyone deletes their tweets. now I don't know she somebody might have. [ __ ] told her to delete it she's so. good everything she does is good.

is it you know what I think you know. discuss amongst yourselves if you don't. agree you don't really have to burn me. at the stake for just before not agree. with me but let me just throw out one. idea and I hope that the hungry dogs in. the street have enough meat as not to. come after me for thinking and speaking. I'm told of it a lot so much I have this. to say as follows and it's okay I said.

cuz nobody lives have [ __ ] thing I. say we're just great I'm tired of being. monitored you know in correct deadly. [ __ ] [ __ ] it we say what I'm gonna say. Trump hear me when I say this Trump is. in my opinion the first woman president. of the United States the woman is just.

[ __ ] she's designed to make me happy. everything she does not the monkey thing. she said but most of what she says. Planet of the Apes whatever but a lot of. what she says I just I just enjoy her. gosh darn it I just enjoy a crazy person. can't we go back to enjoying crazy. people can't comedians stop [ __ ]. going to college and telling everybody. how to live stop no one cares.

we should not allow any comedians other. than like Mulaney we shouldn't allow any. comedians that went to college I mean I. it's ridiculous I know but I know it's. stupid but not the ones now the ones. graduating now are no good yeah I'm just. saying that we have to have fun people. out there are not having enough fun you.

could enjoy the quesadilla it is quite. literally your last. enjoy and have fun have fun at the. Cheesecake Factory. oh and have fun go drink and get behind. the wheel of your car and drive because. it's fun. cheat on your significant other leave. your family and let them fend for.

themselves because it's time for you. it's time for you now you understand. that it's not time for everyone else how. long have you lived for other people too. long but now in end times with many many. plagues. oh just enjoy enjoy what you have you. know enjoy what you have I'll tell you.

that I want to show I want to shine I. want the industry to believe in me i III. want to be like Sarah Cooper I want I. want I want the people I want the people. with the suits in the offices to care I. want them to give me a shot because I. will I will make a beautiful show I will. make a beautiful show and the show will.

end with Roseanne Arnold first of all a. black hand will go out to grab Jenny. slate and and forgive her and then Jenny. slate will see as the black hand toss. her closer that it's Candace Owens and. then and by the time Jenny's on the. other side of the of the of the stage. Roseanne peeks out and hands Jenny slate.

cigarette I don't know if Jenny smokes. but she wears hey guys here you go and. then Jenny lights up a cigarette and. then they all just stand there and then. they hold up cue letter Q and then I. come out with dick cheney's and a child. he mercilessly tortured an Allen. DeGeneres and we. it's like everyone is watching good luck. out there Fox and have fun.