#197 - Essential Episode | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Tim. Dylan shut where's your mask you don't. have a mask you want me go get one. hey are you are you violating the. Beverly Hills law that if you come in. with six feet of another person you have. to wear a mask everybody looks like the. [ __ ] Phantom of the Opera here this. is my reusable cloth mask which is these. are disgusting I mean you don't want to.

reuse a mask you want to throw it out. when you breathe in it yeah it's really. I mean this is atrocious you know and I. had a I had an eggplant parmesan today. that was truly life-changing and I I'm. not getting money from these people or. anything I just want to say a shout out. to dominicos specialty store you know an. Italian specialty store that Sal Vulcano.

on the a'practice Jokers. turned me on to and Pulver's e among. others great eggplant parm is such a. tough dish to make cuz it's either too. mushy like where it's literally or the. eggplant slices are cut too thick but. this was perfect like it was absolutely. perfect. and it comes frozen and you heat it up.

in the oven or the microwave every time. there's a choice between the oven and. the microwave I just do microwave. because I did cocaine at 13 and when you. do cocaine at 13 you've grown up in a. home where you use the microwave a lot. so I'm no stranger to the microwave I. don't care that it radiates your food. and it radiates you and I mean the only. reason I'm not dying of coronavirus. might be the fact that I stand in front. of the microwave and stare it in while. the little food goes around remember.

when microwavable food was considered. like a healthy option yeah like people. would go and get literally a chunk of. frozen something that look like an. artifact that was foul. and then it would melt and then become. something like they had Lean Cuisine had. sandwiches for a while where you would. literally like he was like add water and. then it would become a [ __ ] sandwich. and they had these you know they would. serve them in these little trays yeah.

there they are. they served them in these little trays. crisping sleeves click crisping trays. and he would crisp up this and when you. were eating a Lean Cuisine sandwich and. that's what it really looks like right. down there that's what it really looks. like when you're eating that and I've. eaten that you're in an office and. you're eating a Lean Cuisine sandwich. like that and and then you got to put. that up on the podcast because when. you're eating something like that man.

there is no reason that you don't take. out a I mean whatever gun would blow. your head clear off 45 I'm something. where there wouldn't even be a chance. you'd live like it would have to just. take you out but I've seen it man I've. done it I've seen secretaries fat people. that are trying to get ahead trying to. get ahead of you know just choke down a.

Lean Cuisine microwavable sandwich I. mean the horrors of mass-produced. diet food because before people before. there was this organic movement or. farm-to-table there were people that. were like the same what I love about. like this era of dieting they were like. the same people who [ __ ] us are gonna. help us now right like the same. companies that have done nothing but.

push sludge down our throats through. drive-through windows are now going to. answer the call and provide us with. healthy alternatives that we just add. water and it's a steak just add water. and I watched my mother and countless. fat Long Island women go and then men as. well more shamefully. a man a man pulling out a Lean Cuisine. then there was like an element where it.

almost got weirdly masculine like if you. had a Lean Cuisine in the break room you. had to kind of be you had to peacock a. little and be a dick like go [ __ ] alig. was it sort of [ __ ] what like if people. be like relax dude calm down you know. but that's that's what health food was. for a very long time was just genuine I. mean look at look at that I mean could. you imagine sitting now you don't really. see now I guess I haven't been in an.

office environment in a long time but. I'm sure there are still people out. there choking down a Lean Cuisine. they're tough there's a little Asian. chicken one which is just four to five. morsels of the meat that the FDA his. rule is close enough to chicken and then. just like a a little like a handful of. angel hair pasta and it recycles it gets.

so hot that when you when there's no. Lean Cuisine that you put in your mouth. well you don't burn your mouth. third-degree burn maybe that was the. strategy could all these people just. burn their mouths and they won't eat. right because these linked cuisines get. hotter than anything I've ever seen in. my life. I mean they get hotter than a cast-iron. pan because there it's just chemicals. have you ever lit plastic on fire that's. what this is that's what these things. are it's amazing to watch but an amazing.

eggplant parmesan today from dominicos. Thank You dominicos let's do the death. counts where are we everybody. coronavirus cases right now in the world. two million eight hundred thirty one. thousand seven hundred and eighty four. depths 197 306 recovered eight hundred. and six thousand nine hundred and fifty.

three let's do it by country we're about. to break a million in the USA tell them. what they've won they've won a Great. Depression young people are having. strokes no one knows why nobody knows. you go to the hospital you may not live. this is a it's a brutal sickness man. even though I criticize like the way the. government's handled it and we can all. debate what's coming and everything like.

that it is a real virus like the people. out there to think that this is not real. or mentally ill like it's people are. getting it and they're dying I don't. listen you may say you might look at the. numbers and go huh. those are worried me but that's fine and. you can make a judgment on the mortality. rate but like there are people in. hospitals right now checking out in. their 40s in their 30s and it's you know.

you know in the USA there's some real. critical there's 15,000 critical cases. in the USA that doesn't seem like a lot. and it's not a lot but I also could be. the result of the fact that nobody's. been outside because once everybody. starts going outside you might see more. cases if China did this and they.

introduced a vaccine and then we all. take the vaccine and then they flip on. the 5g switch and we all explode or we. all fall to the ground and start shaking. you got to give it to China you've got. folks folks you got to give it to them. credit where credit is due. sometimes you gotta know when you've. been beat they're gonna win Maputo in in. in in while they're still screamin in in.

in in a crematorium and then put them in. a. they're gonna win here we're apologizing. because we said the wrong word they're. gonna win it's just a matter of when. and if they really did this and then the. five G starts being used and people just. fall to the ground and start shaking I. mean hats off to China I don't I don't. want to I don't want it to be the case. but if that is the case as so many of.

you happen to believe then hey what are. you gonna do what are you really gonna. do all these people are going to work. Trump doesn't care about these people. yeah he doesn't he does it he's not. gonna Obama didn't I understand it's. shitty to work at a meat processing. plant. when this pandemic is happening how fun.

was it pre-pandemic to work at the meat. packing plant. what kind of barrel of fun was it. packaging meat before this for no money. let me know maybe I'm wrong maybe it was. a real ball. everyone who's having at the meat. packaging plant before corona I could be. wrong meat needs to be packaged people.

need to package meat I like me so do you. if we fire all the P they this comes. down to the fact that not everybody is. going to there are people out there that. work at jobs that are not there's no. silver lining so their silver lining is. a ciggy or a glass of booze or maybe a.

nice pill or the Lord Jesus or you know. dark web torture porn or a nice big. Buford to checkers nice sloppy Buford. but the job's not. getting better at the meat plant it's. think about it think about working it to. meet plan it's not nice it's not good.

everyone's like bow workers that the. meat by the way did anyone give a [ __ ]. about any of these essential workers. before they're essential they're making. $8 an hour they're essential. we've never treated them like essential. workers and I'm saying that's [ __ ] up. I'm saying that's not good but we've. never treated them like I said because. let's be on it if you're essential in a. pandemic it doesn't mean you're. essential without a pandemic and I'm I.

respect the [ __ ] out of the grocery. clerks that are out there but it's it's. you know it's a different world now and. you're now essential but you weren't. essential and it's insulting you to. pretend that we think you're really we. don't think you're really essential I. gotta be honest with you I'm telling the. truth. Susan Sarandon well maybe she will Saran. is all over the place and probably on. pills and might say things it makes. sense occasionally but you know what I. mean the the the the the people out here.

in Hollywood and their pools they're not. gonna tell you the truth I'm telling you. the truth we don't really think you're. essential we just don't want you to die. I don't want to die and I don't want you. to die but we don't think you're. essential and we gone if any of us and I. mean anybody had to work it to. meatpacking plant they would blow their. head off I'm just saying I'm not. insulting you at the plant I have to be.

honest if you don't expect honesty from. me I don't know what I can give you. truly if you're not expecting honesty. here so let's cut the [ __ ] and this. canard about the essential work it's. it's grillak all of these celebrities. like it's the thank you bus drivers [ __ ]. one hey [ __ ] one [ __ ] bus driver make. them essential to your [ __ ] [ __ ] one of. these people that you say are essential.

take them home. open your beautifully manicured snatch. to someone packing meat at the plant how. about that put your money where your. mouth is and put his mouth where your. mouth is or her mouth go grab a big. feisty Dyke at the Tyson chicken plant. and let her go down on you why not cuz.

you're essential thank you. is there anything now I brought food. twice to the nurses and the doctors in. it and I immediately regretted it and I. paid once. Whitney paid the other time she's done. well uh and and the reality is this I. want I want the nurses in it but then I. realized they don't need food they don't. need me showing up with with baked ziti. you don't need me showing up with trays.

of lasagna this isn't a retirement party. in a VFW hall in Long Island City er. they need other [ __ ] PPE vaccine listen. I'm all for helping people but I have to. be honest now because if we're not. honest we're gonna we're going to we're. going to devolve rapidly into a world. where people are always lying at every. man and that's gonna get us all killed.

sooner or later if we're not honest we. have to be honest you don't care about. the essential workers you can't flip a. switch and start caring about someone. overnight you truly do not care because. here's the thing some of these essential. work and I understand but some of them. still have attitudes I'll rip the mask. off your face. do you understand I said where's the.

gravlax the gravlax is different than. the regular smoked-salmon [ __ ] you know. this you know this the smoked salmon. and the bread the gravlax is cured with. the dill don't treat me I will I'll grab. the mask off your face is what I'm okay. let's cut the [ __ ] I know that. everybody's treating you like you're.

just you know so let's cut it out I am. all for paying these people more [ __ ]. money but I'm not for these fake social. media displays of affection too strange. eh don't care stop banging pots and pan. yes it is nice for a little while it is. nice I understand that but do we need. deeper structural change you know i know. david dobrik is going around la shooting.

a t-shirt candidate people and they're. making $10,000 that's lovely but perhaps. there needs to be a more widespread. effort at healing the wealth divide. that's so entertaining because we live. in a fallen world where you're you know. people's only hope now is that the. billionaire from YouTube shoots a. t-shirt cannon at them with $10,000 I. was I thought he was just going around. la shooting people which I supported and.

I said now now I get it. I get it I people I was like why is this. guy so popular he's a cutie and he's. nice and I do like I do like about dopey. flip but you know I was always said. likewise he said and then I looked they. go oh he's just running around and he's. shooting people and I go what I like and. I think there's something about that. he's embracing where we are and what. needs to be done they were going he's. going around and he's shooting families. in need and at that point I said well I. like that right he sees a family in need. he goes well they're a [ __ ] I don't. need for leeches get him out of here I.

was like I'm in for that. now put suppose he's giving the money I. don't like that I don't like that but. he's going around to families in me this. is American 2020 I want everybody to. take a deep breath and runs where. America is in 2020 Americans wonder if. you are a family in. in America you can only rely on the. YouTube guy shooting you with a t-shirt. cannon and hope to god it has a check in. it because the government is not-- we're.

no longer a functional state that's. where we are that's not a joke that's. not a bit that's not a bit and and the. government will provide you nothing your. only hope is that you happen to be. walking around the same area as the. YouTube millionaire who's shooting ten. thousand dollar checks at you that's. charity in America he's gonna shoot a. potato gun and he's gonna bury a ten.

thousand dollar check in a potato and. then shoot it at you that's that is. America right now and you trended on. Twitter for it I feel like he's the best. person that's ever lived and I have no. I'm not saying don't do charity but I'm. saying that's where we are I have to. step not everything could be about. selling sneakers which is my problem. about existing in the digital world. because that's literally everything here. is just about and we are launching a. line of something soon and I don't want. don't come at me and say well what about.

this and either that you go [ __ ] your. mother is what that is because we're. launching something very soon it's gonna. be very good for everybody and and all. of the donations will go to Hollywood. celebrities who are already wealthy. because we're not throwing good money. after bad I'm telling you that families. in need why are you a family away from. me grows go get David go chase david. dobrik down the street maybe he'll shoot. you with it with it with her with a. t-shirt at him maybe there'll be a wet.

t-shirt contest which at the end of it. david dobrik he gives you 30 grand in. pennies and you have to crawl around the. street and and stuff them in your ass it. doesn't matter but that's where we are. as a country and be happy be happy David. I'm not I'm not insulting him be happy. he's there I'm out of the money to do. that I don't know if the sponsors that. help me do that either okay I guess I. could fling Ridge wallets at these. families in need which by the way I saw. the videos you know how I need these.

people were. people that are in need you can't shoot. something out in many cases because they. would shoot you back I wish he shot. something with ten grand I would I was. so yelling at him like what the [ __ ] am. I gonna do with ten grand in LA go to. lunch go to lunch but that's where we're. at the government gave you $1,200 david. dobrik giving you ten thousand that's. something to think about that's. something to think about the fact that.

you have to rely on a video from a. youtuber like you look if you're a poor. person or you're somebody in need. you have to retweet Jeffrey star and. hope that he gives you money that's part. of the American system now part of the. American system is YouTube philanthropy. that's part of America now people do it. they tweet at these people I am my loans.

are their student loans I can my dad is. sick it's it's terrifying and tragic and. it's part of America now that YouTube. philanthropy is the thing you just gotta. wait for whatever narcissist on YouTube. is willing to throw your money I want to. go around with a gun and take ten. thousand dollars from people and I would. love that if that was the video if you. tubers got together and went around. Beverly Hills and took ten grand from.

people with a gun not a t-shirt gun a. real got a big-boy gun took ten grand. from people I would watch that video. under saying this is where we are people. say I don't have anything on the pad. circle represents a circle of life I. like having the pad here [ __ ] off please. join the patreon there's there's. hundreds of thousands of you listening. to this we have 4,500 page what are you. gonna do it's all over they're not.

making any more movies this year they're. not make in a year you're gonna have to. wait for owes and sees our Ozarks season. four okay which will be written by AI at. that point and you'll all love it so. don't you know get excited over there. Ozark everybody it's the best show it's. it's great Laura Linney and Jason. Bateman are phenom and Julia Garner are. amazing actors and they do a great job. with what I would consider is an OK. script it is fine it is a serviceable.

piece of work for those great actors to. do every movie or TV show right now. should just be me yelling at people. there is no reason to have any other. entertainment right now it is tone-deaf. it is tone-deaf to have anything else. but me screaming at people in my [ __ ]. carpeted apartment because I live in. hell if you have a carpet you truly live. in hell you really live in Hell people. don't realize that the sign of poverty. is a carpet a disgusting dirty stranger.

things era eighties carpet where you're. just like get me the [ __ ] out of here. okay it's nice to have a Persian rug. it's different. carpeting it just means you live in an. old place I live in an old apartment. building where a lot of actors and. actresses have probably said their final. farewell they said goodbye here I'm. living with their dust it's in the walls.

in the air broken dreams just a litany. of failures I mean that's what I'm. saying. folks let's talk about cereal because I. am so I you know I want to talk about. cereal actually because you know when I. was a child my parents didn't do a lot. of the things I wanted they didn't get. me a dog they said my mother was. allergic they were probably lying they.

didn't let me have cereal with yellow. dye number five they wouldn't let me. have Lucky Charms who wouldn't have me. all that stuff so what I did is a way to. get back at them was become a gay. cocaine addict in my immediately almost. immediately a few years after that. literally a few years after at 13 I was. doing coke and trying to find dicks to. suck and that's their fault I would have. been a married banker who attended a. golf club. if they just let me get all my fun out.

with lucky [ __ ] charms instead they. said no lucky charms for you so I found. lucky charms and I blew them right up my. nose. but breakfast used to be fun right I. mean once you start watching your carbs. and sugar it gets boring it's true we're. all trying to do keto paleo whatever we. all want to survive. get the immune system strong so Corona. doesn't kill us but now you know what's. great about sleeping over somebody's. house when you were young you got their. cereal in the morning that was the best.

thing about a sleepover when you were a. kid because halfway through the. sleepover usually you realized you're. like oh I hate this kid you know like. this kid's socks or these kids annoying. or these kids overly impressed with this. house and it's not that nice you know or. this kids in love with his big brother. you ever have that kid where they Nick. he's like telling you all about his big. brother you know and then you suck his. big brother off in the middle of the. night and you're like I get it now but. no the reality is the next day like my I. used to sleep on my friend Josh's house.

and his mother. the next morning she'd make I mean the. worst food ever and she'd go. have you ever had such Jewish cooking. and it was like this is bad Eileen the. French toast is bad it's dry. Eileen it's dry but every now and then. you'd sleep over a real a real. white-trash kids house like when the. parents aren't even there in the morning. then you know you're gonna get the best. cereal that's when I first had cookie. krisp. or Count Chocula you know if you if.

there was a cigarette full of if there. was an ashtray full of cigarettes and. and I asked the kid where his parents. were and he's like I don't know when you. just shrugged I'm like what do you got. to eat cuz I knew it was gonna be good. he plot Lucky Charms I said your parents. let you eat this he's like yeah huh so. if you want to get back to that magic of. sleeping over a kid's house whose. parents were abusing him if you want to. find that magic that you've lost getting.

so excited waffle crisp if you were. eaten Lucky Charms in the morning it. means if you were a kid you were. backhanded. you got backhanded a few times by dad. when dad had had enough and my mom but. now there's magic spoon a new cereal. company that's discovered a way to. recreate your favorite childhood cereals. with zero sugar 12 grams of protein and. only three net grams of carbs in each. serving so if you're a serial freak and. some people are you can indulge an array. of classic cocoa fruity frosted and.

blueberry fruity is amazing. blueberries really good too I take. they've sent these to me I've tested. them I really like the fruity one it. tastes really like pretty pebble I'm not. free pebbles it tastes like fruit loops. yes cuz they're loops magic spoon is. loops they're loops I didn't like the. texture of the pebble cereals no like.

fruity pebbles cocoa pebbles the kids. that really liked the pebble cereals are. just standing over a strangled corpse. right now and they don't know what to do. I also didn't like a cluster like when. something was a cluster like like the. honey bunches of oats yeah yeah yeah I. was into that either I liked a fruit.

loop a loop I like the golden gram or a. cinnamon toast crunch. I like Apple Jacks I got Apple Jacks. when the quarantine started oh yeah yeah. I got a bowl of it and then I said what. am i doing and I threw it out but Apple. Jacks is a fall cereal it's first. starting it's got a fall flavor makes. thinking Halloween's got the orange and. bright orange green loops magic spoon. spent over a year working on a vaccine. kidding that's food scientists and chefs.

in the world - what's who our work okay. whatever. listen I trust them they spent it is. good cereal but they spent the best food. scientist chefs in the worlds are. apparently working on a cereal for. fatties and they did recreate the taste. and texture of classic sugary cereal it. really does you really. say hey it takes you back to being in. your white trash buddies house eatin a. big bowl of [ __ ] you know Lucky.

Charms while his mother just you know. it's passed out in the room and he's. like I can't try to wake my mother up. before noon or I get hit it's keto. friendly gluten free soy free. Lokar GMO free you've got to try magic. spoon to believe it because it tastes. amazing literally guys if you were doing. keto and you like cereal and you love my. show and you want to support it this is. the way to do it listen people that have. female audiences make millions and.

trillions of dollars podcasting I have. an audience mainly of men because I'm. talking sense but the problem with men. is that they don't you know I'm not. recapping the Real Housewives or. whatever else you ladies are into it's. amazing to get it's a gay it's like if. it's like all your gonna be gay and then. you have to be around a lot of women. it's like wait what I'm kidding I have a. very much respect for the ladies out. there and I love you and I want more of.

you to listen and I want you to buy the. [ __ ] products okay that's what I. really want to happen I have a male. audience it's not my fault it's the way. it shook out but the women who do listen. to me are special women they are bosses. they are gangsters they run businesses. they are prostitutes they are sex slaves. they are drug addicts they give. themselves abortions they are queuing on.

they're trying to steal people's. children they think we're kidnapped by. sex cults they are they have q and on. tattooed on their [ __ ] these are. special ladies they think they were. abducted and [ __ ] by George Soros the. women that connect with my material have. been to prison not Jail prison they've. done a stretch or two they've killed. their parents or their children of both. the women that.

that to my show our special women. they've thought about hiring someone to. kill their husband they've thought about. it they've never done it but they've. thought about it they sit in that. suburban hell they've created for. themselves and they hear my voice they. hear it is the voice of freedom and they. think what would I have to do to just. get this stupid log out of my life and. go do something that really speaks to my. soul and to them I'm saying go to magic. spoon dot-com / Tim Dillon to grab a.

variety pack and try today and be sure. to use our promo code Tim Dillon my name. TI m TI ll o n because i want to make. lots of money and i need the women to do. it because men are stupid apparently and. don't [ __ ] buy anything and just. binge free content because they think. they've all got to figured out you. haven't got to figured out your nothing. out there men. I need women I want an audience of 5000. [ __ ] they just buy my [ __ ] this show.

my turn around and be straight-up cater. to the [ __ ] hoes I might come on the. show and be like I'm your hoe. that's where we're going if you start. buying magic spoon cereal I'll do the. show and [ __ ] drag and I'll talk. about whatever horseshit you want me to. talk about The Bachelor. avvocato toast cleaning out your [ __ ]. whatever you want I'm in I'll do it I. don't have to blabber about the CIA to.

these broke [ __ ] all the time who cares. these retards will go in their backyard. and shoot at their tree these [ __ ]. militiamen or wherever the [ __ ] listen. you will get him out of here we'll dump. him on the side of the [ __ ] Road I. want [ __ ] that spend money Instagram. influencers basic [ __ ] that spend. it's you who this ad is for you are the. ones that need to stay attractive and.

you know why because the world is unfair. and beauty androids and all of that [ __ ]. that I'll talk more about if you buy the. magic spoon cereal and if I find out. you're not buying it I will. no choice but to keep doing what I've. kind of been doing would you steer the. content to more of a male domain more of. a kind of thinking based show it's a. joke it's funny because it's not true.

men are [ __ ] women are [ __ ]. everyone still forgot this isn't is this. an ad still they're gonna believe these. people I don't care it's good cereal buy. this year I'm not I'm not kidding. anymore about this I'm gonna come to. your house and I'm gonna kill your. family if you don't buy the cereal I. swear to god I'll select one of you and. random I'll come to your [ __ ] house. and I'll blow my brains out in front of. you and every day for the rest of your. life you'll see the gun going into my. fat mouth as I blow my head off in front. of you if you do not buy his [ __ ].

cereal okay. celebrity kid from Ozark whose name I. won't mention buy the [ __ ] cereal. okay you better stay thin you know you. play that white trash whatever it is. they want you to be thin you can't plump. up don't get fat it's all over for you. buy the [ __ ] cereal everybody. listening buy the cereal. Ryan Philippine if he still listen to. this [ __ ] show buy the cereal please. buy the cereal you get it you're getting.

older you keep in great shape like we. get it you run it's fine buy the cereal. magic spoon comp slash Tim Dylan and God. help you if you buy this [ __ ] cereal. and you don't use the promo Tim deal if. you buy the cereal and you do not use. the promo code I swear to God I will. drive la homeless Corona patients to. your [ __ ] house and I will let them. in your backdoor and they will cough on. all of your [ __ ] while you're out magic.

spoon dot-com slash Tim Dylan use the. code. Tim Dylan for free shipping and a big. thanks to magic spoon for sponsoring us. cereal I want to get the ads going. that's my point here patreon is great we. got to get the ads gone you know you. know why all the big podcast in LA don't. have patreon because they have and I'll.

always do a patreon because I always. want to do content and I like the idea. of pay chunks five bucks see in four. hours is [ __ ] it's good it's real. deal [ __ ] you're not getting [ __ ] over. I've sold a lot of bad products in my. life. subprime mortgages copier machines it. didn't work and I'll do it again but the. point is that the patreon is actually a. good deal but a lot of these big. podcasts in LA they don't need that. because everybody buys the [ __ ] so just. buy this [ __ ] please I'm not gonna get. less funny I know you know what I mean. I'm not gonna go I think some of you. think I'm gonna get less funny when I.

when I when I like have a home when I. can afford a house he was gonna happen. if I can't afford that I'm gonna kill. you I'm gonna kill all of you I'll find. the way to kill all of you I don't know. how I'm gonna do it I'll figure out a. [ __ ] way I'll kill every last one of. ya kill my whole audience what's ko know. this vaccine it's [ __ ] you pull. something up hear about the vaccine what. are we doing what is but what is the. vaccine here I was [ __ ] around in the. kitchen I think I got something with a.

little white wine vinegar in something. I'm gonna call the CDC tomorrow see if. we started trial [ __ ] around a little. extra virgin olive oil a little white. wine vinegar I think we could kind of do. it we've we've topped over 50,000 deaths. it's a [ __ ] ugly thing man anti. vaccine anti lock down movements. converging refusing to be enslaved. here's the thing folks here's the point. it's again this is unhelpful to have. this [ __ ] I mean it's such a we have.

such a [ __ ] dumb country it's such a. dumb country that it's the people are. not Governor Bo because on one side of. the anti lockdown movement you have. these retards that are like going out. there and they're acting like they have. a right to like completely destabilize. SIA T entirely by just flouting every. like common sense like you wouldn't even. have to have these lockdown movements if.

hygenic take a shower peg you would even. have to have these [ __ ] locked I'm. moving if you didn't go to Applebee's. and take a [ __ ] in the booth like these. the reason that you have to be locked. inside of your houses so there's certain. people that are like I just want to go. coffin old people because that's it's. rivet and then the other side of morons. who are like who are like this. quarantine has become like a boon for. like cat mom winos who are like baking.

bread and showing us their like shokudo. e platters all day and it's like enough. with that they're fetishizing this. quarantine they like being alone they. like like the idea that they can just. stare there they work at some [ __ ]. creative job they've saved up enough. money they don't understand that there's. people out there that have to really. work in America at real [ __ ] jobs okay.

some people need to go out and open up. their business that they own the [ __ ]. fried chicken and grenade stand or. whatever it is cuz that's what's out. there. people need Fried Chicken and grenades. so on one side you have people be like. oh you have these [ __ ] disgusting. spring break kids which by the way let's. end that whole thing. let's end that immediately all of that. Joe what I hope truly truly what I hope.

comes out of this pandemic is I don't. want to ever see anyone in public again. happy if we can go through this whole. pandemic and on the other side of it. come out with a stoic Scandinavian group. of people who like barely shows emotion. and just walks around it straight it'll. be like something good there's nothing. more repulsive than seeing people right. now here I like maniacal laughter when. you see me my friends out you'll always. see us laughing a lot but we never look.

happy because we're not we're laughing. because if we weren't we would be. killing ourselves the only and it's the. type of laughter that's very unstable. and it could lead very quickly into. screaming or crying that is still okay. but genuine displays of affection and. happiness amongst groups or couples. should be over now you should be walking. around thinking about death every minute. of every day the darkness that lives. outside of you should now live in you a.

little part of it. should live in you so what I mean here. is that like I understand how gross it. is if your [ __ ] cousin is in the. hospital with Cova and they're fighting. for their [ __ ] life and then you see. these idiots that just want to be on jet. skis it'll drive you [ __ ] mad but you. still have to understand that there are. people that need to go out and work at. the fried chicken and grenade stand and. I'm not saying that to [ __ ] on the. people and on the front cuz a lot of. people go but all your the leaders or. shooting on the front chicken a grenade. say number one I'm not but we deaths.

what's going on in the country like and. I mean those types of jobs it's not the. rich [ __ ] don't need to go the [ __ ]. back out for the most part it's people. that work at that [ __ ] places where. they they got to be there you know it's. like the meatpacking plant which we. gotta have a change can't have the food. supply. you know interrupted by this [ __ ] it's. it's you know we need to feed the. country we need to feed the country and.

I know I live in California everybody. thinks we could feed the country with. like bouillon cubes a vegetable we can't. people need to eat meat they need to eat. things that other people have killed. that large corporations of tortured put. them in up in up in a thing and then. somebody and this is why life sucks. somebody is gonna have to put the meat. in the package before you get it and I. know that's not a nice thing about irony. or mana but it's okay because listen and.

then you can't tell those people not to. smoke or not to drink you gotta let them. live it up the way they want to live it. up you work at a meatpacking plant you. go you do you know don't eat organic go. to town if you're unhappy make yourself. happy yes there are better ways to do it. a long walk is probably better than a. plate of chili southwest. turn egg rolls but guess what some.

people need that egg roll I saw a woman. I was driving home I'm back to the house. to do the podcast that's just a woman. like limpin she was like a decent. younger good-looking person she's like. limping down Laurel Canyon and like I. don't know what the [ __ ] happened I. don't know if a sex dungeon opened the. doors and flung around but I'm like. what's this [ __ ] going through and now. because of covin you can't pull over he. even try to help them and I wouldn't. have done it before covered but now. because of covered you can't I could see. a whole family getting lit on fire.

I would just roll my window up and keep. driving because it's the right thing to. do right now because of the pandemic you. got to be a real hero now thanks bus. driver. hey thanks buster you don't take the bus. you don't give a [ __ ] about bus drivers. shut the [ __ ] up you don't care about. the people that work in a meat. processing plant you call them all. murderers you'd like their job to be. [ __ ] outlawed it was up to you. everybody would be putting edamame in. their ass and there'd be no [ __ ] meat. pet packaging plant or whatever but this.

is the way these [ __ ] have to. make a living they have to do this it is. what it is it's not nice but they're not. qualified you know maybe they're not. qualified to do other things did you. ever think about that that the person. working in the meat packaging plant has. to have a job and it can't be running. Paramount Pictures maybe they're not. qualified for it maybe they're not. qualified to own a bank or to run a. business or to own a restaurant maybe. they can't be a carpenter maybe they. can't sell cars maybe they can't be a. medical assistant maybe they can't be a.

physician maybe they can't be a lawyer a. doctor a cop maybe they can't work in a. diner maybe they have to work in that. meat packaging plant and that's what it. is. I would like and by the way if you work. in a meatpacking plant I'm not goin at. you I'm not even and so I'm not. insulting you at all what I'm trying to. say is that you're being patronized by. people that don't give a [ __ ] about you. because we all work in these grocery. stores and half of us this is what.

really people think this is do you want. to hear the honesty of what's going on. right now. rich people want a vaccine so they can. go back to treating you like [ __ ]. that's exactly what it is they want to. get pricked so they can go right back to. walking a grocery store and [ __ ]. treating you like [ __ ] that's what they. want so this whole idea God you know the. essential workers this [ __ ] and.

listen I am not abusive to workers now a. lot of people will say that's untrue. because of things that I've said before. I have never been abusive to someone at. a restaurant that did not have it coming. or that I wasn't trying to better as a. person I'm I support you which is why. this [ __ ] in Bristol farm two keeps. giving me a look he's gonna get dragged. because I want her to succeed so when.

you give me an attitude when you give me. an attitude I know that you don't want. the best for you but I do so what I'm. gonna do is I'm gonna hit you in the. back of the head with a loaf of bread. and your mask is gonna come out and. you're gonna lick the floor and you get. again I'm gonna make you lick the floor. like you get covered like the scene from. American history acts I'm not so here's. reality let's these people should get. paid I called four and I said give him. give them cancel all the student debt.

for the nurses and the doctors go treat. these essential people like government. employees for this period of time if you. work in a place like Target or whatever. and you're at risk these people should. be eligible for maybe low interest rate. low it's a portion of their student debt. - I'm all for that. I'm all for all of that but what I'm not. for is the patronizing horseshit because. I don't we don't care I don't can't no I. don't really care about you I want you. to have money and survive but I don't. care about you and you don't care about.

me so let's cut it out Obama doesn't. care. Trump doesn't care Chuck Schumer doesn't. care Amy Schumer doesn't care no one. cares. true I don't you barely care about your. neighbor you barely know their name if I. see my cousin on the subway I walk to. the other car cuz I just got what am I. gonna do here oh yeah your mom's good no. it's good I said yeah so this whole. pretend. caring shed is is it's an insult to your. intelligent I don't know you woman at.

this grocery store but I want you to. have health insurance and money but I'm. not gonna tell you I care I care in the. abstract about you just let it caring in. the abstract to this country you know. but they don't no one gives really I. don't care you're essential worker now. which is great and I appreciate that. because you are doing an essential. function for the moment but as soon as. that vaccine is here to kit do not kid. yourself as soon as that vaccine is here. you'll you'll go back to getting open.

hand smacked in the face if the deli. counter doesn't have what these [ __ ]. want it is what it is I mean I just I'm. sure I'm making the point that I want to. make it which is not [ __ ] these people. they're working their ass off I'm. forgiving them a lot more what I'm. against is this fake thing you don't. care about can you stop can my aunt. calls me she's like they shouldn't open. the economy people are gonna die you. don't can't you don't care just stay in. your house you don't care about the red.

it's and I'm not a sociopath that. doesn't have any feelings but I'm. telling you. Patrice did a bit about it was a kid. can't care there's so much [ __ ] going. wrong in the world at any given moment. your own survival depends upon you not. caring about every little thing your own. survival depends on you not caring about. every little thing you have to just get. on with it and figure out a way to. survive in this fall and [ __ ] world. and you could support policies that help.

people you can support all of that [ __ ]. but don't don't [ __ ] this whole. horseshit thank you bus driver. thank you nurses thank you food delivery. please let me tell you right now let me. tell you right now everything sister. post mates bit of door - people are. sensual let me tell you right now I if I. door - if I could give the CEO of door -. [ __ ] corona if I could give him.

Ebola and watch him bleed out of his. eyes hemorrhagic fever door -. the most incompetent I mean they'd best. case they deliver your food to someone. else. best case someone else eats your [ __ ]. meal and I'm gonna have to pretend that. door - is an essential [ __ ] service. they can't do anything right I'm gonna. have to say everybody working at door -. as a hero because it's two months ago it. was a stoner who couldn't sell a.

screenplay and now he's a hero because. he's cuz he's dropping off meatballs. stop stop it now you're insulting people. you're making them weak and you're. destroying them and I refuse to do it I. refuse to be a party to your lies. essential worker some yes some no let's. cut it the [ __ ] out not every nurse is a. [ __ ] hero either they're not some of. them are some of them are great and I. respect the [ __ ] out of what some of.

them are doing especially if I get sick. and I have to go to a hospital the one. that works on me that's one that I real. respect and I support that one but some. of these other ones I don't know that's. my whole point here my whole point is. that for our own sake and for the good. of the country and for the good of these. people for the good of the essential. workers we have to begin to abuse them.

again for the good of the essential. workers we need to be to get to a point. where we can start opening our [ __ ]. and taking a [ __ ] on them because that's. when you're gonna know the country is. beginning to heal when we start treating. the the grocery store workers like. garbage again. that's when you know that this great.

disgusting country of ours which is I. was gonna say almost over it's over and. then some I mean I don't know what to. tell you the hope in this country right. now is that one of those essential. workers when they're walking back to. their apartment gets. shot with a t-shirt gun on YouTube. that's their hope they get shot that.

some narcissist who's got a YouTube. following decides to shoot them with a. potato gun full of money that's their. hope that's the country that we've all. created because we lie I just think just. thank you thank you essential workers. thank God that yeah bye I don't gonna. babble about I'm gonna bang apart does.

it mean anything does it mean anything. folks but we've got to figure out a way. to start opening things up safely. because the country cannot become a. bunch of wino cat moms and that's what. we see who's truly fetishizing and. enjoying this to an unhealthy degree. these wino cat moms with like plaid. sweaters and they're sitting around and. they're posted photos of their goofy.

pair my parents are being so goofy. they're so goofy look I made banana. bread get the [ __ ] up and get ready for. the war we're going we're having nuclear. war with China in like six months. wake the [ __ ] up I hope you like your. [ __ ] cat then we're going to have a. new what's funny is when me and Ben. started the show the idea of us sitting. in a room and where I would just scream.

about nuclear war at midnight yeah. exactly what we wanted to create that. space you know but this is this is what. I mean the cat mom's can't win these. morons can't win either that are walking. around you know it's also stop giving. Candace Owens all your money stop. donating listen I know the drag stuff. can give me a little force it could get. a little annoying. you're more mad at the drag show on HBO. then you're mad at the people who didn't. give you any money the government shut.

down the economy give you $1,200 Trump's. the president what are you dumb you. think Jared Goldman Sachs. Kushner gives a [ __ ] about you grow up. you dummy they want you in the street I. want you in the street and I have no. money I barely have nothing people like. Bill Gates wants to depopulate the world. I'm like so do I I just want to decide. who goes people that don't buy the magic.

spoon cereal is certainly not safe. that's that great Bill Hicks Bill Hicks. did a bit like that I kind of forget it. but he was like he's like he's like. politics makes strange bedfellows he was. like people were like the Iraqis they. just want to cut off Bush his head and. play soccer with him Bill Hicks is like. he's asked what Saddam Watts think oh. yeah because that's what I want. get Saddam we're like this man strange.

bedfellows you can't be overly panicked. about anything don't be overly panic. about the chip that's coming into your. neck it's probably coming but we're not. gonna be alive to see it and all these. Liberty movements that are sprouting up. around the country in spirit I I'm with. you but what are you really doing you. you know let's let's truly be honest. here is it Liberty is it true Liberty or. is it Liberty because you just want some. version of Jesus fascism because that's. what you want you just want to be a.

slave to another thing that's insanely. corrupt that's the problem I have the. problem with the modern conspiracy. movement is everything goes back to. Jesus everything goes back to it's a. fight between good and evil you're just. turning your brain off you get into. conspiracies you get into alternate. alternate history whatever you want to. call it because you don't want to turn. your brain off you don't want to be. shoveled you know this this [ __ ] from. the mainstream media and the government. you don't want to take everything they.

say you turn your brain on when you then. take that and it all goes back to John. 3:16 and Jesus that means your brain is. off again you've turned your brain off. and you're looking for ight solutions. that make you feel good and that's what. bothers me about the modern you know the. because it's blown up it went mainstream. conspiracy wasn't ever supposed to go. mainstream most people can't handle it. they don't understand most people now. they were getting read pilled and.

they're figuring [ __ ] out but they're so. they don't have any of the facts you've. never read a book they've learned about. American history through memes they. don't know anything their minds are. melting they don't understand Nuits and. they're being taken advantage of by just. charlatans to people who know that I'll. have the [ __ ] they're pushing is it real. they know the queue and I Shaddai know. the people that are making money off. this no there's not gonna be three days. of darkness which ends with the arrest. of some [ __ ] celebrity they know that. they know that they're just and the ones.

that don't that's scary but most of them. know that most of them don't care. they're just figuring out a way to take. your money because they're convincing. you that for whatever reason there's. some big thing and you're in on it you. know it you're in on it and you're gonna. have a front-row seat to all the justice. it's not gonna happen how stupid do you.

have to be to believe that a guy who had. the top TV show in all of Hollywood. who's friends with the Clintons who is. friends with Jeffrey Epstein who. wouldn't care if his own daughter. Tiffany was thrown out of a helicopter. how that suggested today that maybe. chlorine might make sense inside of you. to fight the vile like this guy is. leading a secret war to rid the world of. Satan he made his money with gambling.

and modeling he made his money with. gamblers and [ __ ] this guy's trying to. get Satan out of the whirlwind when did. he discover Jesus he's third or fourth. marriage I mean I understand Nancy. Pelosi sucks and you want to stick it to. the Liberals but how dumb do you have to. be I want to be that donor drummer I. want to be that dumb to believe that. that guy's the guy it's gonna do it.

people that would do [ __ ] like that. don't get elect a don't get have no. money the people that really care about. the children tend not to build real. estate empires with Russian mobsters who. live in their buildings who are doing. human trafficking I mean and guys at. what point do you put the fantasies down. the reason you don't want to do it is. cuz then you know it when you finally.

accept that you've been taken for yo. Christopher Hitchens made a great point. about North Korea he goes you know. nobody's choking around here nobody's. talking about how bad it is he goes in. every you know fascist country you know. authoritarian theocracy he had been to. there was at least some joke or somebody. looked at somebody else like he's [ __ ]. they're really [ __ ] us here you know. but in North Korea they didn't do that. because that was the most alarming thing. about it is the lack of any of that. sentiment and he goes he asked somebody. why and they said to him they were like.

listen it's easier to go along with. things than to admit your entire life. has been a lie I get it there's Goodwin. Trump's that office it probably will. take another four years because they're. running Biden but who knows P might you. know another thing I mean again the. economy is hot you know incumbents. usually win but when the economy when. there's breadlines might be tough you. know but the reality is like you have to.

when he's out of office you're gonna. have to say to yourself. we got taken a little got taken for ride. by the way I don't think everything he. tried to do was wrong I think you need. an immigration I think I've been very. clear I think if he if he said what he. was gay if he ki if he if he rollback. the carried interest loophole but you. didn't because Chuck Schumer and Wall. Street got involved but if he did that. if he gets more companies back to. America if he if he focuses on an. economic policy that centers bringing.

certain manufacturing jobs and certain. things back to America incentivizing. companies to come back here I have no. problem with that enforcing border. security I have no problem with that. he's done it in a cruel and inhumane and. degrading way of separating families. I've never been for. but I've always been for having a border. as most sane people are okay not to cast. of SNL but most sane human beings. understand why we need some type of. border okay okay not if you're on coke.

every night and you're with other. celebrities and everyone's doing coke. and the only meals you eat is through. your nose I understand that you don't. understand why we need a border but most. people do and thank God other people are. thinking huh thank God you get paid. money to bomb all the time dressed up. like a like a [ __ ] Muppet the point. is this folks when trump's out of office. there's a lot of people that are gonna. have to come to the realization that.

electoral politics doesn't work we're a. failed state and it's dysfunctional and. the only thing truly if you want real. change if you want a country that. actually function what you're going to. have to do is buy the magic spoon cereal. do you understand that you have to buy. if you buy it and you eat it you'll feel.

like a child again and you'll cast aside. all the racism and all the xenophobia. and although whatever and you'll become. that child that believes again and it. was through all of us believing and. creating that reality that we can have a. new country but it will not happen mark. my [ __ ] words without the magic spoon. cereal will be will be we will be more. chaos and death to it to a degree that. even further I mean it's just gonna be.

you'll see people walking around. snapping the necks of their pets in the. middle of the street or magic spoons and. don't buy a box or to buy a lot buy a. lot but that's what I'm saying I'm. saying when you grow up you know I paid. attention to politics very closely when. I was a child I was in high school and. you know a little bit of college and you. start realizing you're like oh no hidden. oh it's oh.

it's pretend and people make a lot of. money pretending and I get it like I get. that people need to print like okay I. sure I understand it but what you don't. understand is that vaccine to. coronavirus is the magic spoon cereal it. is the vaccine to the pandemic if we all. eat it we'll get to a point where we can. walk back into grocery stores and start.

attacking the people we can start to. choke out uber drivers again we can. start to punch the delivery people in. the face we can start treating those. essential workers the way we've all. treated them by just think about this. think about it's a year from now there's. no new cases and you've seen essential. worker and you just splash a glass of. your piss in his face that's when you. know and he says thank you because thank. you sir thank you sir and you like it.

that's when you know you know this. country's back in business when just. slain Maxwell has his show on Bravo you. know she's one of the Real Housewives of. New York she's slain Maxwell she's an. international woman of mystery trying to. think what her pullquote would be a lot. of people got a lot to say about me but. they don't know the real me if they did.

know the real me they wouldn't talk cuz. all [ __ ] I have them queued that's. wrong I'm just laying that's. it's pretty much what we had to go over. this week for those of you in a bad spot. don't worry about it things are gonna. get better. potentially position yourself in front. of david dobrik s--. t-shirt gun or embrace a world where no.

one really cares about you. certainly not politicians and go from. there. just go from there just wake up every. day and go yep I'm all I've got no one. else truly cares maybe you find it bad. maybe you get a good friend but you. should have like three or four friends. folks stop it these these cat moms it. love the quarantine they all have a. trillion pretend friends they got a. trillion pretend friends I'm telling you. right now small group figure out what.

you can do we'll all get to a point in. this country when we can piss in the. mouth of an essential worker because. that's the goal and not that's what. Trump's thinking you can't say it but. the Trump's Trump's going like when we. can like backhand a an essential worker. again oh we're gonna feel good like.

everybody's like what's the thing like. what are you gonna do and you're out of. khauran tan what's the first thing. you're gonna job you're gonna go to a. restaurant and go to the page the first. thing I'm gonna do is get in a fight. with this [ __ ] of Bristol Farms get in. a screaming match with her go you knew. don't roll your eyes to gravlax and the. smokes at they're different you knew it. but she's gonna be a my my little. brothers dad from coronavirus and I'm. just gonna back him and other people in.

the store gonna just give me a nod and. we're all gonna be back and we're all. gonna be dancing around and just [ __ ]. smacking smacking people throw an acid. in the faces and nurses again good over. here you stupid [ __ ] that's what I used. to say to nurses I used to go to doctors. also a nurse was gonna say get the. doctor you stupid [ __ ] now I can't. because my cat coronavirus. might have to be on a [ __ ] tube or. whatever they call it so I have to treat.

them with respect but what I used to do. when the nurse walked it is I'd spit. right in the face ago take get me the. [ __ ] doctor you you oh you [ __ ] what. are you a stripper. what are your stripper you here to take. your tits out I'm a [ __ ] I don't even. want that so whoever ordered you you're. in the wrong room get the doctor clown. but I can't do that now but when we're. able to do that when we can go back to. our old behaviors look you'll get on the.

bus go ride the bus on his face go your. the money way that's that's when you. know this great country this country. that I love people think Satan so. involved this country Satan would be. embarrassed by this place Satan would. run from this place very good. Saint would go here and go it's it's the. same reason that nobody no big Hollywood. person is offered to take this podcast.

to make it any better. because Satan would have the same view. of this country in this world that the. Hollywood people have about this podcast. they look at it and they go well we. really don't know what else we can do. you seem to have done it all yourself. good luck.