#192 - Coronavirus The Musical | The Tim Dillon Show

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the. program I don't love how much I'm. hearing the term martial law I don't. love that tell you that much you're. hearing it a lot now gavin newsom. governor of california brought it up. hearing it the press is bringing it up. when you hear something like that over. and over again it feels like they're. doing a soft launch for martial law you.

know feels like they're just do it a. little roll out see how you see how you. react to the idea you can't do things. like that all at once because it. inspires widespread panic and chaos. suspending the Constitution and bringing. in the military that tends to make. people a little iffy so what they do I. think is they introduce you to the. concept little by little a little.

shelter in place a little shutdown and. we start seeing people at public parks. people working out people doing things. people still gathering together in. groups and the government goes you know. I don't know if we're gonna be able to. weather the storm here without the tank. we might need the tank to come in and. stop you from gathering in a park you. know I'm no fan of martial law I do.

understand the shelter in place you know. and what I want to criticize the. conspiracy community for saying that the. virus isn't real or the virus is just. the flu or the virus is a cover so that. the government can arrest Tom Hanks what. I what I do fully understand and am. quite aware of is that when you have a. problem like this like 9/11 which is so.

big and new that you are going to have. elements of the government and the. private sector you're going to have. people you know asrama might as Rahm. emanuelle said he was the chief of staff. for Barack Obama and who is now the. mayor of Chicago or was I believe he. still is the mayor of Chicago as he said. never let a crisis go to waste so there. are going to be people that try to take.

the few remaining rights you have so you. have to be a little vigilant that. doesn't mean you go COFF down an old. person's throat does it mean you know. you ignore what's a clear reality which. is this is a you know incredibly. dangerous virus but it means you're. vigilant and you understand that no. government has ever emerged from a.

crisis with less power doesn't happen. doesn't happen. the government now is growing in power. it's going to start to pay you to live. to stay home to sit in your house it's. gonna cut you a check yet you don't have. and by the way I'm for that people need.

that but just let's think about this. let's zoom out for a little bit and when. we look at this we go.you are now. dependent on the government for. everything for everything they've taken. your ability in the short term to earn a. living and we understand that in the. short term I understand the need to. close things and I've told people to.

comply with this but there does come a. point where you're going to see you know. it's kind of like when you bring a car. in to a mechanic and the mechanic is. less than reputable and you know they're. like it's totaled you know we just we go. we totaled out the car you know you. bring it in you know because you have. headlights out and they look good. you might as well we're totaling the. economy right now the world economy I.

mean we are totaling the world economy. we are seeing a global depression take. root we are seeing potentially. unemployment in the range of 20%. containment has failed the reports now. out of New York and California if you. have symptoms do not get tested unless. you are in a very high-risk group and. you're so sick that you have to go to.

the hospital they are saving the tests. for health care workers doctors nurses. first responders people that are coming. in contact with this virus and with sick. people all the time so could at that. point when you say testing we can't test. anybody the containment model which is. based on knowing who has this and who. doesn't you know trying to contain it. you know the social distancing the.

shelter in place you know all of that. you know might have some positive effect. hopefully it does but a lot of people. are skeptical at this point about how. much of a positive effect it will have. we should still do it we should still do. it for the time being but I think a lot. of people are saying you got to move.

into mitigation which is basically the. development the rapid development of. antiviral drugs you know they're talking. about chloroquine or something I think I. believe that's the name that was used to. fight malaria but I was reading about. those the side-effects on that last. night it could be blindness and if you. take an extra dose sudden death you got. it yeah chloroquine yeah if you take a. sudden if you take an extra dose of that. goodbye so I don't know if that's the. best idea to give to old people I.

imagine that that'll be given to them in. a hospital you take that with. erythromycin which is the z-pak to get. bronchitis you take a z-pak. with from iesson take the five day you. know to on the first day and then boom. boo-boom boo-boom and it usually clears. bronchitis so if you take the. chloroquine on for malaria and the. erythromycin it is beating back the. virus I have a friend who's a doctor at. Lenox Hill Hospital who said actually. the results are pretty good does it mean.

you know Trump gets high marks here this. is you know it's a colossal failure it's. a colossal failure to not have the tests. to not order more supplies in January. and February when you had the. intelligence community warning you about. this when you were you didn't have to. have the intelligence community warning. you about it because you're watching it. happen in another country it's a. tremendous failure it's a fireable. offense whether you love the guy hate.

the guy it's a fireable offense because. it was done correctly in other countries. I mean you know South Korea and again I. have no emotion here with this I'm just. telling you south I'm not South Korea. but yeah South Korea but Taiwan you know. 24 million people one death 85 cases. that was up until recently and I'm sure. their numbers are pretty similar to 153. cases and four deaths there you go or.

two deaths. yeah that's Taiwan they're right next to. China but they had been through SARS. they knew what this was gonna look like. they got the masks immediately they. ordered the supplies they made testing. widely available it's a high-tech health. service they have where you get the. results to your phone they text you the. results you know exactly where you stand. and if you have to go quarantine so [ __ ]. I don't care how much you love this guy.

and how much you think he is essential. or whatever fairy tale you've concocted. in your head about any of these people. any of our leaders that you love so much. yet have never met I mean all of these. people would want nothing to do with you. the Obamas the Trump's they wouldn't. want anything to do with you can you. imagine your disgusting family your. marinara sauce covered fingers do you.

understand the way these people [ __ ]. look at you when will you when do you. think you people will wake up is it when. you're all in camps I mean truly at what. point do you understand that these. people [ __ ] look at you like a. [ __ ] rat scurrying across a busy. street they're puzzled by you they're. confused almost they watch you run.

across the street and if you make it. they go huh and if you get hit by a car. and you get squashed in the middle of. the street they go ha ha. they don't necessarily rejoice but it. doesn't [ __ ] up their day at all I think. we all need to grow up now I really. believe that I think if we don't grow up. we're gonna be in trouble as a species. and if we keep thinking that these. people give a [ __ ] about us and that.

they care about us on any level at all. we're going to we're going to delude. ourselves to death and I think it's a. big [ __ ] problem and I don't care. whether it's aoc any of the people that. we've elected to be the narcissist of. the week and to tell us all how we live. how to live all of these people are. after for the most part their own power.

and they're not really looking out for. you they believe things in the abstract. that could help you but when Bernie. Sanders who I like and respect you know. treats Joe Biden like a statesman in. that debate instead of turning around. and going you are the [ __ ] problem. how did Trump get elected by going to. Jeb Bush and destroying his own party. Trump destroyed the Republicans he.

destroyed the bush dynasty they they. limped Jeb limped out of those debates. that young Bush still can't get elected. in Texas the little kid tried in a. congressional race the the the damage. done to that name might be irreparable. and they were the biggest pull it one of. the biggest political dynasties in our. country and Trump got rid of him and he. did that by being rude I mean he did.

that by saying things that made you go. whoa but you have Bernie Sanders kind of. treating chill by didn't like a. statesman cuz they're friends or. whatever. Trump was friends with Hillary he didn't. care he didn't care they were friends he. played golf with Bill they you know he. went to a wedding he went to their wet. lake they they came to his wedding he. was friends with them it didn't matter. didn't matter to him and yeah you know.

maybe Sanders has more integrity great. that doesn't win that doesn't win it's. very hard to root for the left because. they they're so allergic to winning they. are so they are born losers they are. incapable of [ __ ] winning I mean. Trump may still win the next election. how hilarious is that we have a. worldwide preventable pandemic in this.

country a stock market crash the likes. which we haven't seen in a generation. and we're going into a global depression. and Trump may still win he might pull it. out he the record he has to run on is. the worst record of any maybe president. ever I mean has anyone the wholesale. destruction of the American economy and.

our complete way of life we can't leave. our houses we owe the whole country got. suspended and he still could pull it out. does that give you an idea of how. pathetic the other side is how they're. quibbling and they're in fight. is so repulsive they're so annoying to. most people even me who realizes and has. realized a trump again is a hawkster.

he's peddling his wares to people that. you know see him as some type of avatar. but but essentially he's a huckster if. you don't see that even if you think. he's funny even if you hate the other. side you see Trump as a huckster I think. the difference is that a lot of people. out there go yeah but he's our hawkster. he's my like he's he's ripping off.

everybody on behalf of us if that were. only the case if that were only the case. I could be like great but you can't. leave your house cuz we didn't order the. tests and the masks cuz he didn't care. she didn't want to spook the stock. market by even talking about a pandemic. you know because it didn't matter. because everything was good the gravy. train was rolling along and you know so. again it's a mistake if you if you're. unwilling to admit that you're you've.

left the realm of logic and fine if you. want to dwell in your own world that you. create and I think that that is where. you know we're seeing these states like. Philadelphia I'm sorry cities like. Philadelphia saying we're not going to. prosecute we're not going to arrest and. jail people for crimes petty crimes and. they you know petty to them when you.

read the list includes burglary auto. theft vandalism property crime so I mean. what's gonna start to happen in in. Philadelphia and cities across the. country that are unable to deal with the. increased spike in crime that is almost. certain to happen with it kind of goes. along with the destruction of the. American economy. a rise in crime 20% unemployment they're.

talking what you're going to see in. cities like that is. to throw their hands up but they're. gonna wait for the federal government to. roll the tanks in they're gonna say. listen we don't have the resources to. handle this bring in the tanks and. that's why you're hearing the term. martial law the states are not going to. be able to handle this especially in. high crime areas where the crime is. going to explode the country folks does.

not look the same after this not trying. to be alarmist here but it doesn't look. the same it does not emerge in the same. way you're going to see the rich and. they've already done it they're fleeing. to the Hamptons to Martha's Vineyard. they're going behind gates they know. they knew before this happened probably. they had a inkling that something was.

coming I mean I know there's a very. wealthy guy in New York who's close to a. billionaire and I know somebody very. close to him and this guy was told in. February that he would maybe not have to. pay rent on some of his properties his. commercial establishments and he should. get out of the market or reduce his. positions in the market this was you. know several senators are claiming of. course that they did not you know sell.

these stocks or change their positions. because of inside information that's a. complete lie they should be hung I mean. it's as close to treason as I can think. about somebody profiting off the deaths. of their fellow countrymen and and not. informing anybody that this was going to. happen and certainly not doing anything. from their position of power in the. government to reduce the likelihood it. would happen just going in there and.

profiting from it it's disgusting. now all the Republicans in the beginning. it was like one guy should resign but. then he found out that all the Senators. did it and four of them were Republicans. and everybody's like well maybe this one. guy should resign because didn't want to. lose control of the Senate but this is. you know. pretty disgusting if you fall on a. partisan if you're still thinking in. terms of left-to-right Republican or. Democrat in this period of time you're. wrong you're wrong and I feel bad for.

you because you're gonna step on your. throat it has nothing to do with the. blue or red a Republican or Democrat. left or right that is a show this is a. show okay the people that then have. money and power right now are going to. get richer they're gonna get more. powerful and they're gonna leave you and. your family to starve this is absolutely. the case it's happening already and if. you're still thinking that will half of. them give a [ __ ] about you I mean God.

what would do it folks. do they have to FaceTime you and tell. you how much they don't give a [ __ ] do. you do they have to FaceTime you and go. hi mr. and mrs. who is this is this the. UH fan toesies sister Miller's Sister. Dominic's. is this the Parkers Hey. we just want to call you up and let you. know you're on your own here did you not. did you not get that did you not see.

that with all the int you know with us. selling our stock did you can we stop. doing the [ __ ] press conferences to. who who are they who is feeling better. after that that little doctor Fowey. who's probably a good do but he's a tiny. little man. we have no there is no time for short. people right now sorry. nobody's being made to feel better by a. tiny little doctor give me somebody six.

[ __ ] two who looks like they could. take this thing on little foutch he. looks like coronavirus he's a tiny. little man nobody feels good about that. at this moment sure people are great in. good times but when times are tough you. want to look at somebody tall to lead. you through who sees above the crowd who. is this woman who comes out in a night. dress who looks like she's on percocet. who's it's just like my daughter's.

my daughter Stuart you have two. beautiful millennial daughters they're. the most important generation. Millennials I have two daughters it's. like who the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] who is. this and then you have Trump and then. pence stone-faced in the back and then. of course they bring out you know Pompeo. who just wants to be you know the.

secretary of state who used to run the. CIA and what he just wants to be just. sitting eating a French Dip sandwich. that poor guys like what the [ __ ] is. this I thought we were just blackmailing. people taking photos of them [ __ ]. underaged people why it's pandemic. they're wholly unprepared and the. country is unprepared for what's about. to happen. there's no way to be prepared for what's. about to happen what's about to happen.

is going to be truly astounding for a. lot of people cities are going to turn. pretty quickly into Mad Max situations. there's going to be shortages there's. going to be an increase in crime they're. probably going to declare martial law. some version of that I don't see in. certain areas the country I don't see.

how that doesn't happen it seems. inevitable that if things continue the. way they are continuing all the big. finance people the Goldman Sachs guys. are all being told it's an 18-month. pandemic with waves of sick people. waves of where we can all go back to. work I'm sure that looks great by the. way I'm sure everybody's really except. like you know ways where we have to shut. down again it's just going to be. cyclical and when we all go back to work.

it's I don't think it's gonna be boom. times I got to be honest with you I. don't think it's gonna quite feel the. same I think people are still going to. be like you know what are we doing there. think long and hard about where they go. how they spend their money. what risk they're willing to take what. level of risk they're willing to take. concert comedy show restaurant you know.

beach these are all different things. we're all gonna know people who pass. away. tragically from this disease it's gonna. be emotionally scarring it's gonna. damage the psyche of people not only. individually but the country psyche and. I think unfortunately the reality of how. bad things are is gonna push people. further into their own world it's gonna. push them further into conspiracy.

further into you know cults religion. things that give people some level of. hope or at least a way to organize the. world and it's gonna get bad and I think. that when people confronted with chaos. they need something and I think for the.

good of the country it has to be this. show it has to be the patreon the Tim. Dylan show it has to be the merch I. don't think it can be anything else. I I worry about you being taken in by. charlatans out there online there's a. lot of there's a lot of problems there's. a lot of bad actors in the digital space.

just waiting for you come here come here. we're giving you the information we're. giving you the perspective I don't want. to be hopeless there are good things. coming celebrities and politicians will. die that's nice that will be. fun to see and watch if we are still.

alive to watch that happen that will be. amusing good things are going to come of. this. I'm telling you real housewives are. going to die that will be fun for all of. us from what I see the disease clearly.

does not discriminate so there's going. to be some annoying people that are. gonna get it and they're gonna go. bye-bye. and that might keep us sane for a little. while because good people are gonna go. people you love are gonna go people you. respect are gonna go but then other. people are gonna go too it's the little. things it's the small victories that you.

can't lose sight of in these times you. should put pictures on your wall of. people you hope get it and when one of. them does put a check have a drink eat a. good meal um of course joking about. celebrating the deaths of others but am. i and how bad will it get were we need.

some form of entertainment as cryptic as. that sounds as depressing as that may be. as inhumane as you might find that to be. we're going to me light at the end of. the tunnel and it is not going to come. from the powers that be they are not. going to help you your community might. help you your friends and your family. might help you your your local. government could help you the powers.

that be are going to make a mad dash for. the hills they're gonna grab their money. and their families and they're gonna. [ __ ] there. they head out to the lifeboats it's. going to happen this isn't this isn't a. debate this isn't left or right don't. look for these people to show you a way. out of this [ __ ] mass it's not gonna. happen. comedians get off Instagram live for the.

love of God especially unsuccessful ones. especially ones that failed at the real. thing. ones that couldn't do it when you had a. stage and an audience. get the [ __ ] off Instagram live nobody. wants your thoughts now enough comedy. couldn't be less essential funny yes.

funny we all need funny comedy no the. entertainment business is about to get. gutted if you are in the business and. you've done well enough you'll probably. make it through if you survive but your. relationships are going to change your. business relationships are gonna change. how you do business is gonna change how. you attract a following is gonna change.

how you make money that this business is. gonna change it's absolutely going to. change if you're independent the only. way out of this is being self-sufficient. you cannot rely on anybody anymore for. anything when this is particularly aimed. to people in creative fields.

you're not the the the sitcom [ __ ]. the pilot you thought you were gonna get. the tour you were going on I mean. everything unfortunately you know is. sand through the hourglass it's [ __ ]. all you can do right now is have. something valuable for other people and. find a way to deliver it to them and. that is not. going on Instagram live with you to act. with you stand up back for the love of.

Christ Jesus Christ does anyone right. now want to see a half-decent comedian. perform to an empty room. what psychopath wants that who are you. all performing for it's over it's Oh. what the [ __ ] do you think happens next.

you get noticed on Instagram live and. then what what happens then they lead. you with a mask through the gates of. paramount studios it's curtains collect. your belongings and go checkout is at. 11:00 a.m. there is no late check-out.

today the rooms are bought get the [ __ ]. out the vacation has ended your. meaningless life is no longer public. consumption go back put your privacy. settings go reestablish some. relationship that matters before it all.

goes black some of the things I've seen. have been good but the majority the. majority of them have not and I feel for. people oh it's not so easy to do what. Logan Paul does is it you all thought. you were slick and you [ __ ] it on. youtubers and now you're all trying to.

be youtubers as the jib. see in thinner the Stephen King movie. said die clean - I clean - I clean white. boy that's what he said some of you have. no clue what's coming because you trust.

the government and the media because. your children or you're insane they know. things we don't know they're trying to. avoid widespread panic they're trying to. avoid chaos they know this is a lot. worse than they're even letting on they. know maybe this thing's mutated who. knows. take it out people left and right and. there doesn't seem to be a rhyme or. reason why maybe it's just this a novel. virus we don't have immunity people's. system some can handle it some can't but.

how terrifying is that that is why. they're like well it's mainly elderly. people you know Mike Pence said the. other day he goes the majority of. Americans don't need to worry about. getting this there's nope there's no. statistics to back that up. there's none what the ones out of China. it'll either 2,000 people a day are. dying that's Spanish flu China we don't. know what the [ __ ] going on you can't. trust the media so we have the vice. president going yeah most people don't. have anything to worry about when.

contracting this disease there are no. numbers to support that we don't know. that that's the case we don't know. what's the death toll in Italy right now. 4825 yeah a lot of dead people yesterday. there was 793 and it's not over I know. you know if we if we if we were closing. the book on people go four thousand so. what I don't know anybody will. coronavirus do you know how many people. died your gunshot wounds you know how.

many people died of other things like. the flu is it over we're just beginning. the movie has just started we're barely. through the previews you don't know. what's coming we don't need. a lot of people to die to unleash. martial law and to doom the economy you. don't need a lot of people to die to. collapse the health care system you.

don't but I do think you're good to see. sadly a lot more people die I mean what. are the debt what are the totals right. now we usually do the totals in the. beginning but let's do them now 301. 627,000 so we just passed the 300. thousand mark and then the - 300. thousand worldwide yeah the desks are. about to hit thirteen thousand were at. twelve thousand nine hundred fifty five. America what are the totals in America. in the USA we have wouldn't be funny if.

looking at an old time rock DJ like. there was this guy cousin Brucie 101.1. when I was growing up was like like that. type of old school anybody hey it's. cousin Brucie just be funny if like in. the dystopian nightmare that we live in. he's like hey baby it's cousin Brucie. giving you the totals giving you the. totals we got about 23,000 deaths right. now. now how about rocking out to the Four.

Seasons where are we in America we have. twenty two thousand eight hundred. thirteen cases and two hundred eighty. eight Tests I can't wait for coronavirus. the musical coronavirus the musical can. you see it Broadway stage opens twenty. twenty-three people are standing there. it's kind of like rent if you remember. rent the stage is you know there's no.

real set there's just some garbage cans. and stuff and you know there's a catwalk. and it's kind of plain and there's just. like people standing on the stage and. you know 20 23 coronavirus musical you. know the first number everybody's. standing there just like you know. they're doing it on the beat do Lu Doo. Lu. uh-uh what was that what was that I.

heard about a pandemic happening what. was that Wu Han China what was that. pandemic bat flew plague playing in. about flu and then you know I mean it's. coming it's coming. where are the tests we thought we had. the tests just doctors and nurses. singing by the way isn't the worst thing. about this that we have to treat doctors. and nurses with reverence and respect.

is there anybody more annoying than. doctors and nurses let's be honest I. mean I know that now they're essential. but I wish they weren't I wish we were. lying on like blackjack dealers or. people that I like doctors and nurses. they're almost as bad as teachers. imagine if we had to imagine if we all. had to glorify teachers during this oh. my god I would just go kill me now.

I do like I do you know it's just. doctors or vet you know they're pompous. doctors are pompous and nurses as well. think they're doctors it's not all of. them but it's a fair amount of them and. many people in the medical field agree. with me I'm just saying I wish we were. relying on another group that we had to. exalt you know I don't know who you know.

people that work at clam bars like fat. women ladle clam chowder no a cop I wish. they were the front lines and we could. be like yeah I support I support Donna I. mean you know folks you have to remember. when all this is happening that you're. living through a historic time I love. that isn't that people tell you that.

like it's a good thing you're living. through a historic time this is historic. this is a historic time it is a historic. time you know so was the Holocaust was. historic you think they walked around. Auschwitz ago you know what we have to. remember we're living in a historic time. we really are we just get to see it all. up close you think they talked about. that probably not but what do I know. you know I'm itching I'm itching to get.

out there and do live stand-up comedy. again but it's just not gonna happen. it's not gonna happen for a while. and even when it does happen who the. [ __ ] knows what its gonna look like. you know what's Billy Eilish up - she. was on tour - google it news on Billy. Idol what's she doing she always wore. that mask anyway she was prepared. remember she always had that bane mask. on her face what's she up to.

I mean she it looks like she's just on. The Voice right now The Voice battle. rounds Billy Eilish Whitney Houston more. songs and pairings I mean to put Billy. Eilish at Whitney Houston in the same. sentence I mean imagine what a decaying. society we are how deserving are we of a. plague to put the toast - Whitney. Houston one of the greatest voices ever. we did exactly what a musician should do. entertain the [ __ ] out of us and then. died in the tub didn't stick around for.

too long well isn't the voice people. covering stuff who knows but that's. probably not that recent they shut says. one day ago really yeah but didn't they. shut down the production of all of these. shows I guess they shot him so long ago. yeah that's the other thing that Jimmy. Fallon's doing the Tonight Show from his. house the view you know Whoopi. Goldberg's like skyping in interview. enough I mean I don't want to you know I. don't want to be the bringer of bad news.

but just shut it down I mean are we. gonna be living into martial law and. still watching Jimmy Fallon is that. what's gonna happen here are we gonna be. living under martial law and still. watching carpool karaoke shut it down. have the decency to treat us like real. dictators and just have state TV which. is what that is by the way Fallon and. coordinated state TV I mean am I gonna. look out my window.

see it tank rolling down the street and. then turn on my TV and see Ellen dancing. at what from her living room at what. point do these people just go the [ __ ]. home and stay there turn off the webcam. and let us all be let us be please give. us a few months without you I mean I. mean can you imagine it Jimmy Fallon.

going outside Ellen. dancing with the military Jimmy Fallon. taking pictures with the tank it's. parked at the end of his block I mean at. what point can we just can we can we. request that they shut the entertainment. industry off shut it off there should be. martial law on Instagram you should have. to get approval for the military it's a. post that's what should happen that.

[ __ ] me up they wouldn't give me any. [ __ ] we'd have to go onto the dark. web we'd have to livestream on the dark. web is that that does anyone ever do. that no I mean that's what a red room is. supposed to be yeah that's not real it's. not real that's what America is about to. become by the way a red room supposedly. where you torture and kill people the. people in the comments are like kill. them his leg so it's like there's a. torture chamber and you get to say what. you want done to the person if you. donate money like a super chat on.

YouTube get his leg pin his leg back. it's like not real but who knows. who knows what entertainment will be. considered after this every company in. this country right now should be making. ventilators everybody is some of them. are to their credit every [ __ ]. company should be mahogany oz whoever. make [ __ ] ventilators you're gonna. need a lot of ventilators you're gonna. need masks make [ __ ] masks you know.

they should have been happening months. ago you know what good is it to call. yourself the greatest country in the. world and they get beaten by Taiwan at. survival you know how does that happen. how does it happen they all you do is. call yourself you pat yourself on the. back for being the greatest country in. the world. Taiwan figures out a way to do it you. can't Taiwan I mean that's amazing to me. it's amazing they are strong and.

virulent like nationalism is if they're. still people walking around be like I. love this country relatives are dead in. the street I love this country I love. that I can't get tested for this thing I. may or may not have it's a death wish. large segment of the population in this. country wants to die they want to die. they were brought up thinking that the. glory would come after they died that. this life was at me rehearsal for the.

next one this is what religion pounds. into the heads of people well they're. still kids and that's why many of those. people grow up and they keep that belief. and they treat their bodies and. everything else like [ __ ] and they don't. care because as soon as you know as soon. as they have the glorious aneurysm or. heart attack you know and they fall on. the floor Denny's that's when things get. good that's when things get good that's. what it gets fun a friend our friend is.

calling it was it Alex I will say this. you know I really truly every day get up. ago should I get the [ __ ] out of Los. Angeles should I get the [ __ ] out of. terminator should I get the hell out of. here and I don't know I don't know I.

believe that I don't think anywhere is. gonna be safe truly if it goes as bad as. it could and will go potentially. what'll save us is some antivirals. chloroquine ein little REM des aveer. what'll save us is some antivirals. perhaps perhaps that becomes essential.

the erythromycin and the chloroquine and. i hope it works i hope it works. but i mean and then we will then with. then we have a where's Joe Biden by the. way where is Joe Biden has Joe Biden. he's running for the Presidency he's. running for the highest office in the. land he's disappeared he sees his. handlers are keeping him out of the. spotlight because they know he'll will. make a mess of this I mean I had a joke. of my actor I said the Trump Biden.

debate is a debate where we don't need a. country anymore we squeeze we call China. like a kid at a sleepover that's not. working out and calls his parents. because hey come now just come now leave. now I'm ready now we're ready now there. are people saying they're getting out of. the Chinese quarantine and Americans. living in China expats and who knows if. they're writing these you know updates. with a gun to their head things are. better the bright futures ahead you know. they just got a guy with a gun in your.

head you're sitting in the room staring. at Chairman Mao's photo on the wall. you're just typing they just come in. with a laptop MacBook sit it down and go. tell everybody how good it is. tell everyone outside how much fun we're. all having this has been fun he says. that they take your temperature. everywhere now that might be the future. infrared technology in order to get into. an event you might not be able to get. into an event with a fever anymore it's. interesting if you have a fever if. you're feverish if you're over a hundred.

they might just say you're not getting. into this concert you're not coming in. it's interesting that might be the. future the future I mean the I mean. Whitney Cummings was telling me she was. going back from New York to LA and the. flight she said was full no one spoke to. each other everybody was wiping down the. plane there was no service. the flight attendants did not speak to. them and the pilot did not make any. announcements it was like a crazy flight. it was amazing you know when I heard. that I was like what a [ __ ] amazing. thing to to go through to. because I've flown so many times and.

that has never been the case. you know III imagine even after 9/11. they made comments and they talked to. you but right now the level of fear is. so high that nobody you know there was. no communication between the flight. attendants the pilot and the passengers. on the plane everybody was just sitting. there you know wheels up six and a half. hour flight wheels down and then get off. the plane and run it the future doesn't.

look like the past dead especially in. the in the in the way you know I was. while I'm watching these shows on. Netflix is this good show called. restaurants on the edge and where they. just go to restaurants that are in. beautiful locations but are failing. because the food sucks they're poorly. designed and what happens is Netflix. goes three people go they have a. designer a restaurateur in a chef they.

help redesign the menu they help. redesign the restaurant and you know you. know obviously all these restaurants. probably still fail because the idiots. as soon as the Netflix team leaves they. go back to doing it their way you know. now although this actually you know and. then the free you know is whatever but. I'm watching these chefs walk through. these open-air markets to buy produce. and to buy and there's fish and you know. fowl you know birds and there's all. kinds of things and you're seeing.

yourself you know obviously that is the. reality for most of the world is these. you know wet markets these markets we're. live animals are sold you know and the. people walk through them and they take. photos I mean are you gonna I mean does. that continue are you gonna go walk. through those markets anymore you're. gonna try something in one of those. markets somebody hands you a piece of. fruit I mean not that it's any better. here I'm not I'm not an idiot I know.

that things sitting in a supermarket or. is likely to make you sick is anything. but just the idea of walking through a. market you see live animals you see that. like is that are you gonna do that you. get. ooh you know you're gonna go on a cruise. are you gonna go on a cruise right now. are you gonna eat it buffets are you. gonna do all that stuff is that does. that survive do those things survive a. pandemic probably people got to go.

somewhere to be disgusting animals but I. mean you know travel does travel take a. hit two people go I'm good I'm good or. do people just say [ __ ] I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go anyway I don't care that. becomes a real question is what does a. world look like I'm talking best case. because worst case forget it I mean. we've already went through that we're. talking martial law we're talking crime. we're talking the cities are abandoned.

we're talking to rich fleeted their. bunkers and that all looks to be the. case but let's imagine we get on the. other side of the outer the effects of. that somehow miraculously don't. materialize fully on the other side of. that you know are you allowed into an. arena with a fever going forward if it. is an eighteen-month pandemic that's. cyclical where there's waves of sick. people are you allowed into a restaurant. with a fever are you allowed into a.

movie theater with a fever. fascinating [ __ ] to think about how does. life change and then we get into the. scary stuff and you know what that is. the chips the bio the bio security stuff. you know do we do they put a chip in yes. you they know how sick you are and if. they don't like your behavior do they. just deactivate the chip just deactivate. yeah I mean that's been those nano chips.

the idea of putting that under your skin. was so that they had all your health. information so that now in a world we. anyone trusted the government it's. really not a bad idea on its face like. if you collapse in a Walmart and they. come up to you and there's a chip that. says this guy's diabetic he's this he's. that he's got this he's got that and. they don't have to wait to find all that. information out so you either regain. consciousness or they can get your. relatives on the phone the idea that. that's all in a in a you know there's a. convenient. stare but then how but but Jesus Christ. how much are you giving up for that how.

much are you giving up for that giving. all of your medical information to a. government and letting them install a. chip in you. and then trusting that they can't do. horrible things to you with you no. because they have access to that chip. again on his face great idea it's an. idea that's like you know but that's. that's what comes down the pike. what biotech firms right now are.

developing different types of you know. diagnostic tools for concert venues. arenas sporting events what restaurants. public places resorts amusement parks. what biotech firms are gonna go out. there and start thinking about how to. you know and maybe it's short term maybe. it's long term maybe it's forever but if.

it is an 18 month pandemic with waves of. things and you are and you have it you. know you're a property that's insured. and your insurance company is my company. Hugo you need to figure out a way to. prevent sick people from coming in here. you know we got to insulate ourselves. against the liability we got a it's. fascinating it's very interesting to. think about you know but another thing. to think about is when you are in. quarantine is your penis hard if your. penis is not hard you cannot have sex.

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get a free shipment and you only pay $5. shipping. I mean who loses there nobody literally. nobody we're we're going through some. changes here the studio we're going to. we're going to modernize the studio. broadcasting has become is the future. right here this is the reality we talked. about this the other night since live. stand-up has been put on hold.

indefinitely we are going to modernize. the studio we're gonna get a we're gonna. get an icepick television in here we're. gonna be able to pull up media in. lifetime I'm in real-time whatever we're. going to be able to bring you a better. show especially now it's super important. that. we are able to you know not only have. some fun but get out you know. information or kind of we all need to.

stay on top of what the [ __ ] going on. you know so we're gonna be able to you. know interview people on skype and we're. gonna be able to pull up articles and. pull up videos and things like that and. that's coming down the pike and we. appreciate that we also appreciate oh. this one too huh Oh we'll do that at the. very end that ones audio only you two. will get mad if we do that so the. studio's going to we appreciate. everybody that's that's contributing on.

patreon we know that everybody is in a. bad spot right now most people are in a. bad spot we know you don't have a lot of. [ __ ] money and that's why we're. trying to put out as much free content. as possible a lot of these free podcasts. on our youtube you know channel we also. put out videos and everything on. Instagram Twitter Tim Jay Dylan TI ll o. in on Instagram and Twitter and all the. content and this podcast will always be. free you'll always get one podcast a. week free you'll always get a youtube. one or two youtubes you know either an.

extra episode and then also a live. stream that we do where you can ask. questions all of those things are always. gonna be free the only thing you'll ever. have to pay for is if you want the. patreon episodes and they're there's a. lot of archives there there's like you. know 177 the archived episodes 170 hours. of content you can sift through and a. lot of interesting interviews with a lot. of people and you know it's a it's for.

$5 a month it's a pretty good deal but I. totally get it if you don't have it and. you know if you don't have it we're. still pumping out a lot of free stuff. don't worry about it you know we want. you to get yourself right most important. thing is for you to be financially okay. during this thing we're gonna try to. figure out the best way to start. donating some money to people or. organizations I spoke to Andrew Schultz. about it right now a lot of us are. focusing on people that have been. directly affected that in our industry.

so waiters and waitresses at comedy. clubs are [ __ ] right now. and those are the people that allowed us. to earn a living being comedians you. know they were the support staff they. brought you drinks they brought you food. and they helped those operations run. they made those operations run so we're. helping those people now but of course. the scope of that you know it's gonna. get bigger we're gonna look for other. ways to you know contribute money to.

people in real time that need it whether. it's food banks or stuff like that. because things are gonna get ugly and. they are getting it bad and if you do. have money and you do have the. wherewithal to kind of give people you. know you can't volunteer right now. nobody wants you to leave your [ __ ]. house so the reality is if you do have. the money the money helps that's kind of. gonna be but I am also very careful. about where you give money because. there's a lot of institutions out there.

that misuse funds and misuse money so. we're all gonna have to figure out. together how exactly we go forward with. that I'm speaking of some other. comedians you know I rogue and a bunch. of people that are you know you know. that help a lot of different people but. we're all trying to figure out what's. the best way forward you know the next. two to three weeks are gonna tell us a. lot they're gonna tell us if the health.

care system completely collapses they're. going to tell us if you know probably if. we're heading into more of a severe. lockdown something that looks or not. that looks it is a martial law these. things are all on the table I don't know. that we have to freak out about them so. you don't really have control over them. but the idea of you know the election. getting pushed back or being canceled. the idea that you know come November. people are not going to be able or feel.

comfortable voting getting the other you. know all of these things are gonna. change our lives for a foreseeable. period it's not conspiracy mongering to. say that we are you know in you know the. survival of the country right now is not. guaranteed and I and I don't I don't say. that you know to joke around and I don't. say that. to be dramatic or to be an alarmist the. survival of the country that we are. living in right now. in any and by the way the country in the.

sense that it looks or feels like. anything you remember it's not. guaranteed it's not it's truly not and. the people at the top know that we're at. the precipice of something very very. challenging and if you see huge spikes. in crime if you see a global depression. if you see a loss of faith in the. government which I don't know how you.

don't see more of I think it's because. people are afraid right now so they're. kind of ignoring certain things the. insider trading and stuff like that I. think people are you know you know. burying their heads in the sand but if. you see those things happen I mean this. these are the ingredients that you know. bring about a fall and we see that and. I'm hoping that doesn't happen and I'm. hoping that we're able to weather it but. it is not at all irresponsible to float.

those possibilities because they are. real possibilities or real possibility. that your city and local governments. collapse because of this and that the. federal government then rolls in the. tanks and you don't have anymore rights. and it's not the America that you. remembered and the rich go to planned. communities where they have rights and.

you don't and they have the technology. and they are able to weather the storm. for however long it is you know and you. you know sitting there in a Perkins you. know or a Denny's or Pizza Hut are not. going to weather the storm because you. are going to be left to unfortunately. perish by the people that you put so.

much faith in and what will prevent that. bonds with your family with your friends. when the time comes you know not right. now but when the time comes probably. there will be you know I mean it will be. some time for fun I can't believe I'm. even saying this but it's like there. might be some type of organized. resistance to what happens I don't know. you know I you know it's funny because.

it's not you know we have to laugh at. these things I mean we are laughing at. them but no if rich powerful people. leave us all to die you know you might. have to go and visit them I don't know. I'm just saying I am NOT you know I am. NOT trying to sound the alarm here other. than to say if you aren't going over. these possibilities you know ahead what.

is happening in your head what is. happening in your head I'd love to know. I mean if you're not going over the real. possibility that these people are gonna. pull the ladder up I don't know what is. it the ladder up is that the expression. yeah yeah I don't know what you think is. happening I don't know what you imagine. it's gonna happen. you better hope chloroquine on works you. better hope REM Deseret works and this.

might be as Rogan said the other day it. might be a dress rehearsal because the. next pandemic oh you know but maybe. maybe we'll be prepared probably not um. I'm gonna be the Hollywood improv this. weekend headlining fuck'em we're gonna. do it we're gonna do it took off minimum. haha but those are the hack jokes that. are going on on Instagram right yeah. where people should be taken out and. shot. so I mean be careful the content you put.

out be careful the content you consume. you know you know I I wonder how it's. all gonna play out it's very interesting. I you know the one thing that'll save us. is literally what I believe this is. truly what I believe I think the one. thing that saves us is that the robots. are not good enough yet if the robots. could do all the things these people. wanted Oh goodbye I mean truly if AI and.

automation like if AI was at the point. where the AI could do most of what the. wealthy needed done I would be like in. total panic mode I think that we're. still some years from that happening. that might be the only thing that saves. us. it's not about democrat or republican. it's not about any of that. it's about this is just a strong survive. in innocence it's just Darwinian and.

that's what you're seeing right now is. you're seeing nature you know it was. Chris Hedges said the other day we're in. the middle of the six extinction or. whatever this was a year before this. even happened so I mean I'm not don't. don't be too anxious don't be too. depressed. don't use too many mind-altering. substances stay sober keep your mind. sharp you're going to need it I'm hoping. the worst doesn't happen I'm cautiously.

optimistic only because robots cannot do. all of the jobs yet I don't I don't. think it's you know it's like I don't I. don't I don't I'm not trading on empathy. here I'm like thank God we're a little. behind. um but you know keep your wits about you. out there it's it's it's not gonna be. pretty. and uh we appreciate you listening you.

know reality really caught up with this. show really dead and one of the reasons. that the show's always kind of been. darker is not because I'm some profit or. I know you're like I you know I didn't I. don't live in that headspace all the. time I'm funny and I but when you look. around society I always saw it as. somewhat fragile and I think other. people didn't I think that's what it. comes down to I always looked at the. institutions of society.

they were the fools that were running. the show and I always said to myself. these are fragile institutions it really. wouldn't take much and now you're kind. of seeing that this is how that. manifests when you're led by sociopaths. and clowns and goons and people that. just really want money and power and. they just enrich themselves and there's. no checks on them and there there's no.

democratic process that [ __ ] means. anything and everything is you know. being sold to the highest bidder and. everything's about the consolidation of. power and it's a you know a partnership. of the public and the private sector. that's the you know corporate state as. hedges and other people have said when. it gets so all powerful I mean you look. at it and you go yeah this is something. that's just so corrupt so incompetent. and yet also very ruthless you know and.

it lacks any empathy ah you look at a. society that's like that and you go yeah. there's the potential here for some real. problems and we have children licking. toilet seats on Plains I mean this is. where we're at it's not a you know I'm. not making that up this is there are. people licking the toilet seats on. planes because they're treating this as. a joke it's a profoundly disturbed.

Society I read today there's kids. coughing on fruit as a joke in the store. it's a profoundly sick and disturbed. Society and I if you don't believe that. please point me to the evidence please. show me the evidence cuz I got a lot I. got exhibit ABCDE the whole alphabet so. show me your evidence when we have kids.

licking the toilet seats on planes. tell me by the way [ __ ] the pandemic. [ __ ] it they're gonna get a pandemic. or that they're making their you know. that they're putting old people at risk. or that their self. forget all about that what if they were. just licking the toilet seats on Plains. how about that let's ignore the social. context what if kids young people young. adults were licking the toilet seats on.

an airliner and putting it on social. media and you're telling me we are not a. profoundly these are the people that was. pointed out by Whitney Cummings the. other day on her podcast that last year. we're eating Tide Pods they were eating. soap because they liked the colors and. how it felt in their mouth and you're. telling me we are not a profoundly sick. and disturbed society they're eating. soap and now they're licking the turlet.

and this is the future okay I feel bad. for coronavirus that has to infest us. hopefully we [ __ ] get ahead and beat. this thing I really really really want. life to go back to the way it was but. there's unmasks the whole thing if.

you're [ __ ] thinking if you're. looking around and how people are. responding to this how fragile it all is. this unmasks the whole thing if you're. [ __ ] awake you see how unsustainable. our lives are not only the systems which. we've created but how unsustainable our. beliefs are the idea that we're safe and.

the people that know more than us are. figuring things out on our behalf is not. the case it's not the case now I. coronavirus tried to buy an ad on this. show and I declined you know I was. contacted by somebody who said Corona. wants advertisers on the show Cove at 19. to advertise because they think they're.

getting a bad rap in the media and. because if anyone would understand. population control it's your listeners. so kovat wants to come up and kind of. just talk for a little bit no like you. want to interview covered I'm like not. really not really um but good luck out. there folks it's gonna be a fun couple. of months we're putting out as much free. content as we can hope you and your. family are safe really try to get out.

there and you know but take some time to. read some books read some books how do. we get here read the devil's chessboard. David Talbott read family secrets respec. read other things read tragedy and hope. carroll quigley. history of you know the world in our. time read harlots ghost by Norman male. or any of these things you know read. books like sapiens read other things. read books that I don't even know you. know read books that about biology and. epidemiology I don't know but you know. figure out how we got here figure out.

how most of our social media feeds are. clogged up between the game show host. mr. Trump and a bartender Misco Cortez. and how those two people we've decided. that they are going to be our avatars. they are going to be the people that. speak on our behalf. how do we get here how did that happen. how did it happen it's not an accident. didn't happen by accident it's a long. process of kind of giving up little by.

little little by little taking the hand. off the wheel and just cruising and. hosting and this is where it leads you. this is where it leads you when you just. take your your foot off the gas and you. just let it go this is where you end up. so when you have the time go and do a. little reading and figure out exactly. how and then read about other empires.

and how they fell and you start to go oh. wow this sounds familiar. you know everybody's obsessed with Saxon. food you know they make celebrities out. of chefs I mean read about the four. Rome it's [ __ ] wild you know so again. hopefully we make it over this hurdle. hopefully I'm somewhat I'm somewhat in. the middle I know no good could be good.

could be you know Lord of the Flies we. don't know we know now but if we do we. could look forward to coronavirus the. musical we could look forward to so many. shitty movies we could look forward to a. bangin Netflix doc kids in ten years be. smoking weed in the dorms watching a.

bang and documentary about Cove in. nineteen you know if there are dorms and. if there are kids good luck.