#171 - Brownie Boat | The Tim Dillon Show

hi I'm Timmy the trashcan and I love. trash they all taste so good instead of. throwing your trash on the floor won't. you please give it to me thank you for. considering your fellow patrons ladies. and gentlemen you were listening to the. Tim Dylan show I have just returned to. California from the sunny Southern.

Command said rush limbaugh I used to go. ladies and gentlemen it is open line. Friday from the Palm Beach would say. from sunny South Beach Florida the. southern command center of the EIB. Network it is L rushed both mihashi. he broadcasts in my Palm Beach I was. just in st. Pete Beach Florida. our greatest state the crown jewel of. America why is it so great is it the.

sunsets. is it the elder abuse is it that every. other building is a sober house is it. the fact that the rehabilitation is a. major industry I don't know it's all of. those things and more. all of the New York Jews go down to the. East Coast of Florida which is like Palm. Beach Boca that [ __ ] Fort Lauderdale.

Miami and then the west coast where I. was which is like Tampa st. Petersburg. Clearwater is the people from Canada and. the Midwest they were telling me that. when I got down there but there are some. people from Long Island New York on the. west coast too but they are so prevalent. on the East Coast that you feel like. you're in New York you feel like you. hear the accents you hear the. complaining you immediately are like oh.

I'm home you hear people upset I mean. the first day I got there you the. gravitational pull of Florida is so much. because you when you get there. you spend time there and you go I could. live here I could become this it's. something you become you're not born. that way maybe some people are but you. become a person that just is eating a.

conch fritter on the back deck at 3:00. p.m. you know like I went out to lunch. at ocean prime which is a restaurant at. Tampa they have one in Beverly Hills one. in New York it's a chain I got out of. there at 3:00 and my uber driver picked. me up and he goes how was dinner so. that's where they're on because how was. dinner and then he proceeded to tell me.

about his wife he was in the asphalt. business his wife defrauded him out of. his company wrote fake checks the whole. thing he's like the DA said it was clear. that she committed a crime because I. didn't charge her I didn't press charges. because we've got two kids he goes her. sister you know said their whole. family's bipolar he goes I just didn't. wanna so he goes now I'm just trying to.

get in business with my younger son I'm. like how good ruin his life. you want just your own flesh and blood. he said my younger son wants to go into. business with me so that's what Florida. is like a great place to start over what. a Roger stone say it's a sunny place for. shady people. you know the dirty tricks guy Roger. stone you get the vibe when you're in. Florida that there's a lot of people. there that are running from something. there are people that have given up on.

on whatever they tried to do and they've. come down in Florida and they're they're. doing a version of what they wanted to. do and and it there's something nice. about that and there's and everything's. inexpensive relative to New York and LA. and you start thinking like man I could. get in this groove I could really I. stayed at a hotel for one night called. the danse azar which everyone said you. got to stay at the Don. it's where Louis stayed it's on the. beach.

beautiful old hotel the owner killed. himself in it again Florida it was a VA. hospital during World War two a lot of. people died there I walk in immediately. there's an old couple complaining that. the restaurant was closed for. renovations. it's 153 a night beautiful Resort 153. and nine right now because I'm between. apartments I am in I don't even know. what I'd call an inn in Burbank yeah.

yeah and it's got nothing I mean it is. bare boil it it looked like it looks. industrial like every door looks like. it's a supply closet. this is [ __ ] 2 to 2,200 because if I. wanted to stay West Hollywood it's like. 400 500 800 you go down to Florida 150. you get a resort and and that's what I.

stayed one extra day the crowds were fun. the people that came out to side. splitters in Tampa you know my cousin. went down to Florida about ten years ago. and she did Florida right my cousin did. Florida right she's addicted to heroin. uh she's in and out of rehabilitations. she also will smoke crack she said to me. she said to me wants into Chili's in. Delray Beach because t me I'm a real. garbage head whatever comes whatever. whatever they bring out i I do not.

discriminate. I'll take pills I'll shoot up a smoke. math she's she's a lovely woman but. she's had problems she's had issues. let's not mince words there's been. problems okay I remembered Thanksgiving. a few years ago she was back up from. Florida um she'll come they bring her. back to New York it doesn't work because. New York is like New York it almost. makes me do heroin so if you're on. heroin you don't come back to New York.

to like get off heroin so she comes back. she falls in with a bad crowd crew or a. new crew it's amazing when you're doing. those kind of drugs you just figure. who's gonna get those drugs and how are. you gonna get it and she was at. Thanksgiving and my other aunt my aunt. who's like a pill head and a drunk goes. let's do let's go around the table and. say our a thankful for which is always a. waste of everyone's time no one's really.

truly thankful for anything because no. one will admit what they're thankful for. no one will admit the reality of what. they say I'm thankful that I got away. with the D way like no one says that no. one will go into the reality of what. they say everybody's like I'm thankful. for the seasons I'm thankful to be. around family and you're not you're not. no one is no one is it's I'm thankful I. didn't get caught cheating on my taxes.

I'm thankful my wife didn't catch that. 23 roll blowing me in my office. I'm thankful my kid didn't shoot up the. school this year with my parenting he. should have but no one will be on it. that would be great if we all went. around the table and we're like I'm. thankful for this I'm thankful for that. you know I mean half of my family but. thank God I was born white and I could. just be mediocre everything and not of. the cops constantly beating the [ __ ] out. of me even though they should be but so.

you you you set up a situation where you. have your everybody when you go around. that table everyone's full of [ __ ] and. my cousin is at the table and she's you. know she's tired you know you know that. means I was an addict for years I don't. talk about her in a judgmental fashion I. get it but she's tired well yeah. tired means that there's there are. problems so we're going around the table.

everybody's kind of nervous who's it. gonna get to her I'm trying to think of. something dumb and funny to say I think. I say it I don't know. I forget what I even said I was thankful. for I think I said not now my nanny make. chocolate pudding my nanny makes the. best chocolate pudding it's I think two. packages of mighty fine chocolate one. package of mighty fine vanilla mix it up. you get the pudding skin pudding us to. have skin and and so I said. thank over nanny's pudding or whatever. and everyone laugh so we get to my other. cousin and they're going what are you.

thankful for it she's just like picks. her head up and she goes I'm sick and. everyone goes okay and they go right to. the next guy like it what do you. thankful for it and I'm like what do you. see that this wasn't the move but she. went down there and half of Delray Beach. Florida is a rehab the other half of. Delray Beach Florida is a crack house. it's like there's a line down the town. half of them are rehabs half with no. crack houses and you just shimmy over to.

the crack houses when you feel like. relapsing and then you go back to the. rehabs and the sober houses and these. sober houses are big business rich kids. that get [ __ ] up their parents pay to. stash them somewhere where they will be. watched and the rehabs kick them out. usually after 28 days so then they can't. come home the parents are like we don't. want to see them that's how we got it. that's why they're doing drugs in the.

first place it's because we're busy. making eight million dollars a year at. goldman sachs not raising them so we. clearly don't know what to do with them. put them somewhere and I'll open my. wallet to make that happen the ridge. wallet so what then happens is you have. these sober houses these communities of. people and then my my roommate his girl. was a sober companion her job is to sit. next to rich people on flights so that.

they don't order drinks I'm not even. kidding this is an economy right now. poor people can't afford this if you're. broke and I'm gonna talk about my rehab. experience in a minute but if you're. broke you either don't go to rehab or if. you go they kick out as soon as your. insurance is out and they go good. [ __ ] luck go with God go to meetings. go to AAA but if you're rich you go to. all these [ __ ] rehabs which barely. work promises in Malibu. look you're riding a horse you don't.

need to do you don't need to take. oxycontin you're on a horse Nicole. Richie you're on a horse now. well then what happens when you're not. on the horse you go well I'm home now. and I'm not on the horse I think I'll. take a pill that's the problem. no one is [ __ ] doing synthetic heroin. because they they they have a lack of. equestrian opportunity that's not it. there's deeper issues you got to get to. but these these fraudulent you know.

programs that they have in these you. know billion multi-million dollar. institutions are just to distract you. that's what rich rehab is it's like. distract we have Beach yoga it's Beach. oka. nobody needs to do drugs we're gonna do. yoga at the beach and then we're gonna. talk about our feelings by the sunset. and then we have a five-star chef who's. gonna make You Amit and and you're like.

you pampered and it's luxurious and. they're giving you whatever drugs they. can legally give you to get you off the. other drugs and whatever then you go. back and the week the week you're out of. that you're using again you're at one. okay ten ocher fifteen maple whatever. these [ __ ] clubs are on the Sunset. Strip and you got your face full of a. big cake of coke because you learn. nothing you didn't grow spiritually it's. a whole lot of [ __ ] but my cousin had. gone down to a few of these places in.

Delray and she's put some clean time. together and then she relapsed and it. said it's a [ __ ] the disease is. insidious it's deadly he doesn't let you. out of its grasp its clutches it's a. lifelong fight and I hundred percent. respect that she's trying it's [ __ ]. hard and I remember I went down there to. perform at a rehab convention because I. usually do a lot of rehab comedy when I. first started comedy those were shows. that I could do I wasn't in at clubs I.

wasn't really working on the road so the. idea the road was rehab shows I did one. in Eau Claire Wisconsin where I got one. of the best hackles ever I said. something about you every Dahmer and. somebody in the audience yelled at. Dahmer ate my friend. that was one of the best heckles that I. have ever had. it is the top five ten years of comedy a.

lot of people have yelled [ __ ] out that. was a top five um I did a rehab. conversion oh Claire Wisconsin and then. we did one in Pompano Beach Florida flew. into Fort Lauderdale now the guy that. used to book these was a one-armed X. crackhead and Keith uh he had one arm. the arm that he had the fake arm was so. bad it wasn't like it looked like a.

Halloween like he got it at a Halloween. store it was like a prosthetic but it. wasn't good it was literally plastic and. it only had one like he couldn't move. any of it it was like an arm that was. always in the position of like him. giving a speech as a coach and he lost. it smoking crack he was a Marine but he. never really saw combat but he used to. get on planes and asked us in first. class because he said he fought for the.

country which everyone kind of knew was. a lie like no one believed that and and. that's what's it not the way planes work. you don't get to just sit in first class. because you lost an arm for the country. and also you didn't also you're lying. which I was respected him for I. respected that he would lie like that. and disgrace the idea that there were. people that had lost limbs for the. country who just sat in coach kept their.

mouth shut but he lied because you're. always an addict you always even if. you're not doing drugs you're always a. [ __ ] addict those behaviors they. percolate they rise to the surface. they're there they're there and needs to. see it when he would get Maddie but I. can't [ __ ] he turn around me god I can't. [ __ ] I believe this he goes here seats. open in first class he won't let me sit. there and the woman is like that's not. it but you have to buy a first-class. ticket he's like well I'm a veteran I.

lost my arm for the country. and then she'd go well thank you for. your service and then to walk by you. know but this is this is his booking the. gigs Keith just plain Keith that's what. he called himself just plain Keith he. had a joke. he used to do other people's jokes there. was this great guy might justify no it. was one of the best comedians and he. died he's an amazing guy he used to do. heroin he had AIDS he was like this.

tragic figure but one of the best. comedians I think he won or got glory he. didn't win but he got very close Last. Comic Standing and everybody loved him. he worked the cellar everybody loved my. DeStefano and he did this thing called. Fanny's last ride at the moth which like. makes you cry it's like a great [ __ ]. story he tells him and he used to have. this great joke he would open he'd go. go ahead everybody he'd go after you. know I goes he goes I live I live 10.

years clean and everybody would clap and. then he'd go in eight years so that. piece just does that joke and he's like. I do it to honor his memory I'm like. well alright I don't know how that works. but he's like well his brother said I. could do what I'm like I also don't know. if that's how that works. but whatever sit in first class do the. guy's joke what I mean you know your. book and me Who am I at this point and. that's a huge step this other guy Scott.

Papa Curie who was this other comic who. like had a big career but then had drug. issues and women issues and all these. problems but we used to travel around. occasionally to gigs and like Woonsocket. Rhode Island and I've talked about it. before on the show we ended up going. down to a convention I forget what it. was it was in Pompano Beach and my. cousin and a few of her friends came to. the show and the show was a disaster I. mean I did really good but it was a. [ __ ] rough cuz it's a convention no.

one really sometimes they really love. the comedy this show was like not set up. well nobody was expecting it they sprung. it on everybody it was in a conference. room and I was just fighting for my life. up there but I was doing decently I was. doing okay and then I think the next day. or maybe. was earlier that day me and my cousin. had lunch at Chili's and that's what she. said to me she goes I said what is you. know UK what is it she goes Timmy I love. the family I love everyone I just love. heroin she said very honestly she goes I. just really like doing heroin and it was.

just such a moment of honesty and I was. like five thank God I never did heroin. because I bet that's kind of you. probably just get to that point where. you go yet. I like Arawa I'm in the Harrow and it's. like it's such a [ __ ] but what's also. interesting about that whole community. is the people that were drug addicts. then all they all run the rehabs ex-drug. addicts run the rehabs they run the. sober houses you'll be talking to.

somebody and they'll be like yeah I'm a. drug counselor said what'd you do last. year they're like home invasions like oh. okay it's been a pretty quick quick. turnaround on that huh you know and then. next year they might be doing home. invasions again you don't know but. they're like in it they're in charge you. know now they're supposed to have a. certain amount of clean time but then. you going off everybody's you know honor. the honor system the I've been clean for. however long you need me to say I've. been clean for it you know so to get a. paycheck and they have a single decay.

sack what you're supposed to get. certified and you know helping people. this that and the other thing but it's. it my cousin Ben had a real but few tips. she they let her in for free once they. were like she's been here a bunch will. get a letter one for free I you know and. it's hard because it's tough money. doesn't solve the problem money I mean. money makes it better. it'll help but it doesn't solve the. issue of somebody who has maybe changed.

their body chemistry or their physiology. and they are now truly kind of a ticking. time bomb and they're like ready to get. activated and they might put some clean. time behind them six months or a year. and then they just get activated like. that and then they go off the [ __ ]. reservation and then it's like [ __ ] it's. bad I remember when I went right in.

beginning a comedy I went to rehab I had. started comedy actually I had started. comedy in late 2010 and I was still. taking pills. I was thinking percocet and things like. that nothing I want to go to rehab to. just get this out of my system it's not. really good and I was I wasn't taking a. lot I was taking like three or four a. day. okay that's still a problem that's the. per now I told like my dad and other. people this they were like you're not.

really doing that much I was like well. you know it's this kind of parenting. that is you know why we're here that's. why I'm in this they're like I had no. idea I think you're caught okay you seem. fine you're wearing a suit you got a job. is your job gonna let you take off. they're gonna rehab them like well yeah. but I'm maybe gonna die if I don't so I. should do that right yeah but you're not. taking that much right but it's.

progressive I'll take more and more. right I'm drinking I'm doing all these. other things so I go to rehab and when. you go and I went to the place called. the Long Island Center for recovery and. this is out in the Hampton Bays which is. not the nice part of the Hamptons and. the Long Island Center for recovery I. remember as soon as I pulled up I took a. train out there and then I took a cab. and I'm at the Long Island Center for. recovery and I feel like [ __ ] right you.

don't you know field you're in rehab you. like my life is becoming man this is no. good bad this is bad so cuz I thought I. was it well if I come out of the closet. and I start to a comedy I'll be able to. just use drugs and drink and it'll all. be fine it'll and that's not the case. you make all those deals you go well if. I'm dishonest I can do drugs honestly. can't we all just do drugs. honestly together like human beings. without these dark secrets let's let's. just we'll we'll be on the other side of.

all this I'm living my dream I'm a. comedian it's gonna be good. so what ended up happening I go to. long-on Center for recovery I walk into. the room. this is intake. now intake in a rehab is there they're. basically seeing how [ __ ] up you are. how what they need to do what they have. to do legally what insurance is gonna. pay for that's the big one and then I. put you in a room and they go okay. here's the program blah blah blah so I.

show up I sit down and the woman goes. are you drunk. I go no she goes oh you're not drunk huh. I go no I gonna rehab I figured I. wouldn't get drunk the night of it's a. lot better for insurance if you're drunk. I she goes could you go out and get. drunk and then come back I said well. sure I don't really know of any bars she. goes well let's try it first without you.

being drunk she goes if you blow if you. take a breathalyzer and you blow like. high blood alcohol level insurance is. like oh we got to pay because the good. insurance people they're not gonna take. your word they like they want you to. prove that you're [ __ ] up so I'm there. my insurance is not good they're not. gonna like let me in this place okay and. I could tell that because you see the. look on her face start to change as the.

applications going through and in the. beginning she started to choose using. the word we she's like we're gonna we're. gonna help you out we're a family with. this with that we have to be accountable. we have to do this we have to do that. and then as the insurance was not going. through she changed the weed on you she. was like you're gonna be fine you're. gonna go out you're gonna change. everything you're gonna do what needs to. be done and I'm like we were we were we. a few minutes ago so she finally goes. okay I finagled it I got you eight days.

eight days of a 28-day program. you couldn't the good people at my. insurance we're like hey he'll learn it. in a week he'll get better in a week. we're gonna give him a week instead of a. month that's fine for him he'll be fine. so eight days all right baby. you get in you let you have a prison cot.

three other dudes one guy was named. Ricky one guy was named Alex there was. another guy I forgot his name but that. guy was telling me that there are no. negative consequences of doing heroin. except that withdrawal and the fact that. it's addictive. he's like heroin is a great drug because. it does nothing negative to your system. except the fact you get addicted to it. and I'm like well I don't know enough to. argue with you but that sounds highly. suspect but you seem very convinced and.

then there was a guy who's like. Portuguese who walked around in his. underwear he was an older guy we didn't. know he like muttered to himself and. would laugh occasionally but we didn't. know what his deal was I think he was. drying out I think it was a drunk um I. think so. when you're in rehab you bond with. people incredibly quickly because it's a. prison situation you wake up early in. the morning methods kick down your door.

these X method bikers around the rehab. you got to go to an early morning. meeting you gotta go have a shitty. breakfast and you gotta go do dishes. because you're working whatever on the. thing you know and and it's rehab so. they're they're checking you for drugs. checking to see if you smuggled in drugs. they're you know you could pat down to. get random searches you get all that. [ __ ] you know this one girl this fat. girl came in and she she would keep she.

would keep packets of honey in the laces. of her shoes and just take the honey out. and just sucked down the honey and then. just interested somehow it had to do it. wasn't just honey like she's somehow. smuggled xanax in to her shoes to sum. out these people are very creative Alex. was a fun kid from Brooke Phil wealthy.

part of Long Island part where my. grandfather used to live Alex was like a. bro. Jersey Shore guy had a hot girlfriend. rich mom. he's dead now killed killed himself I. mean I don't know what why he was drugs. was either drugs or he did himself in. but I think it was drugs I think another. one of those dudes is dead too one of. those guys Ricky invited me over his. house a week after we got out of rehab. and I sat down with him and his. girlfriend we watched Jeff Dunham's.

special and they loved it. they were like you got to see peanut and. I'm like who's peanut I think Oh peanuts. my favorite one of his puppets and I'm. like well what is it they go he's just. this thing he just his funny thing and. peanuts like a crazy and his girls like. it's like a crazy baby peanuts like a. crazy baby she said and I said okay I.

was sitting there watching the Jeff. Dunham with them going is this better. than heroin like is this is this better. than getting a pay-by-the-hour motel and. cutting up cocaine and blasting it til. our mouths and um it can't be right that. kid I don't know if he made it through.

either I mean I am these people were all. on Facebook I mean hopefully he's still. alive he was another one of those guys. he got out of rehab but he was still. like in the EDM scene and I was like. pianist is not gonna he's like my. passion is electronic music I'm like you. got to get another passion you got to. switch he said I'm gonna be sober and. it's gonna take my music to the next. line I'm like you got it you can't no. that's like being a drunk and getting. outta rehab me like my passion is bars. I'm never not gonna be in a bar I'm just.

gonna be drinking seltzer it's not gonna. happen it was one guy the bar used to. hang out at least his lounge this guy. Mike who I saw the other day just. driving around in in Long Island it was. crazy so him and this other guy George. okay George had like a deformed face he. inherited a bunch of money not a bunch. but he got like 120 grand in a lawsuit. and then some hooker named Carol how. them spend all the money it was crazy. and then he went back to like living in. his car. it's very wild but carol was was kind of.

fun but I eat not worth not that much. fun. but so I saw those two just driving. around in a car I'm like I wonder if. they're sober cuz I got Mike was trying. to get sober he came to the bar one day. and he said I'm sobered he was like. drinking water he's like I'm sober I. just love all of you and I'm here so bad. I'm like well this is much worse don't. you see that have a drink. God you here with all of us sober like.

you got to change your life when you. sober up you've got a change and that. poor kid that kid Ricky was just like. and then I visited him in jail actually. now I remember that's the memories are. coming back he was in jail and his girls. like Hayes in jail in East Meadow in. Long Island why don't you go visit him. and we I went in and I visited him and I. was okay how's it been and he's like. well you know he's like it's not fun.

here and but the thing with rehab is you. you're all brothers in rehab for the. week and then you get out you never see. each other again or it's a funeral or. it's something horrible happened because. it's like their recidivism rate with. that [ __ ] is high it's bad people go. back to go back to go back and uh I. don't know where that other guy is but. there's a lot of people I go back to old. say sometimes I'll think of a kid from. my town of like wonder what happened to. that guy when do what happened to Chico.

where's Chico then I'll just look at his. Facebook it's an in memoriam page or. it's not an in memoriam page here's how. you know they don't even make it an in. memoriam page it'll just be like one. [ __ ] who just posts on his page every. day she'll be like you know like I'm. gonna disband shacks in here but that's. not meant to be this is a white girl who. thinks she's Spanish that I'm imitating. it's significantly less funny if she's. actually Spanish she's like she's. probably like mostly white but her name.

is like Lisette or something this is. exactly in my head this is where I'm. going with this. like everyday she'll post it as paycheck. it seems to be a lot of people I mean. this is hard cuz I'm Nam do Maresa which. is Yanis Papa's his character but that's. the only Spanish voice I know but so it. will be a [ __ ] who posts on his page. every day she'll be like you know it. seems like a lot of people forgot about.

you but I'll never forget about sure a. lot of people forget it's like well yeah. they can't post every day on his page. it's five years later she's like a lot. of people forgot you but I never forget. you and you could tell just one chick. that does this over and over again and. you go oh he's dead like that's how you. know he's dead. cuz it'll be that one chick that keeps. posting I love you I remember when we. used to chill when we used to cheer like.

with each other I never forget that time. at the park when I was 14 at you were 30. and you was [ __ ] me on the stairs I. don't know I'm just I'm not saying I'm. just saying that's how you know these. people have passed on it's just one girl. over and over again I love you I always. be remembering you okay move on but it's.

difficult I'm glad I'm glad I got out of. that because for a lot of people that's. a lifestyle rehabs a lifestyle it's what. they talk about who they are it's what. they're about they know the good rehabs. are better supposedly after I left the. rehab than the bad like bad people came. into it it wasn't as fun like we were. all trying to get better and then. supposedly right after I left a crop of. people came in that had no interest in. getting sober and a lot of them are just. court-ordered they were just trying to.

sneak drugs in and it became an issue. and it became like not a fun spot you. know we were actually trying to not be. you know [ __ ] up that and after I got. out of there I was kind of done I was. really done with drugs mean that was. kind of it I'm trying to think I think. smoke pot a few more times after that. and I was like I just can't do it I put. the [ __ ] panic attacks and then like. [Applause]. so that's what a lot of Florida is.

Florida has a lot of people trying to. put it back together and people that. have no interest in putting it together. a lot of pay by the hour motels a lot of. prostitution in Tampa a lot of strip. clubs Florida Project is great [ __ ]. movie I'd like you to see that you. should watch it. [ __ ] phenomenal it's about a place. called the Magic Castle. not this [ __ ] thing in LA where these.

clowns jump around these people I'm a. comedian an imagine you shut up I'm just. it's an experience for the audience yeah. okay I got an experience. it's called Steven paddock it's called. the paddock that's what I got for the. audience okay couple of Saudi arms. dealers and a nice patch.

I'm kidding shout out Saudi Arabia you. know I love you I'm not I am NOT I am. NOT insinuating that that was an arms. deal gone wrong or that you you know. cooperated with the elements of our. government to do the 9/11 thing or. anything or that you have an underground. alliance with Israel and Britain and us. and you dive hey I don't mean any of. that I'm being a goof I'm being a big. goof I hope that doesn't hurt I hope.

you'll bring me over there like fluffy. didn't fluffy over there perform for. like five breathe like five guys with. her beheading people really I think he. did there's like flows like it was like. Muhammad but it was like the the I'm. [ __ ] so exhausted from this plane. right I'm trying to think in their name. the Saudi royal family what was it the. Ben Solomon's I think it's been some. whatever it is the Saudi royal family I. think they brought fluffy over and they. all sat there and Thrones beheading. people and be handing people and he was. like.

I like milkshakes I love that that's the. kind of American comedy they like I like. milkshakes is people getting your hands. lobbed off this women being beaten with. sticks outside and then he comes into. the palace and he's like you know I like. to put a cake in a shed and they're like. they're like this is good they're like. this is just good mmm shut out - fluffy.

- this is not meant to disparage him. fluff fluff listen you may want to start. I will start doing [ __ ] with you anytime. you want you know hire me I know about. the Hispanic experience in this country. thank you but that's you know are they. talking about before I said Steven. paddock should kill my audience you were. talking about the Magic Castle and yeah. so this thing the Florida produce about. the Magic Castle which is a it's a hotel.

it's an extended-stay hotel that people. just live in and it's a great [ __ ]. thing man and they cast his girl from. Instagram briea vanity or whatever who's. like real white trash they didn't even. it was just like they just put the. camera on her and let her go she was. like a great actress but it's like was. she acting and this little girl Brooklyn. Pierce I think was in it this little. girl that was great and I think they. also just used people from the magic. they use people from the hotel and I. think they barely paid them so Hollywood.

hooray for Hollywood they're still. living they wouldn't like a movie. they're still living in the magic so but. it's just that culture of and they have. a great ice cream place down there. twisty treat and that's in the florida. project - what if they have something. called a brownie boat which is great. that I I got because it's a it's a Kiev. kids kedo they do sugar free ice cream. sugar brownies and then the next day I. went back to the different one a.

different twisty tree and I was it kind. of another brownie boat and this woman's. Haggard woman goes hey she goes we're. privately owned we don't have the. brownie but what do you. mean that's it going into McDonald's you. go I don't we don't we don't do the. double cheeseburger. waha we don't do the McDouble we don't. did a Big Mac here we're privately uh. she goes I don't know what the brownie. boat is nobody can explain him with the. brownie but is I'm like it's the it's. the Banana Boat with brownies so we.

don't have that I'm like you know she. said we're on by the same people at own. I forget some other I just complete like. we're all by the same people that don't. Eddie's and she's got her meth head son. and they're helping are like god this is. real Florida [ __ ] did you try to get her. to make it they don't have the right. kind of brownies they're just too shitty. little brownies the bigger fluffier. brownies are at the other one that.

twisted she was great there was just uh. I said to the woman what should I get. this is the first twisty treat I was a. quote what should I get and she goes she. goes get get get the brownie boat and. the guy in front of me got the brownie. boat everybody's getting the boat they. like the boat Florida give me the boat. let's not waste our time with the cone. let's not waste our time with the sunt. the Sunday the Sunday.

what is this Chicago this is Florida put. it in the boat put it in the trough a. lot of mobile home so I was always near. pervert park that did you ever see. pervert park the documentary no never. watched him pervert Park is a. documentary about a mobile home park in. st. Petersburg Florida which is all. pedophiles and it's like really really. bad like one lady like like abused her. son he's there like abusing. three-year-olds it's very bad but then. there's like one kid that like was 17.

he's trying to [ __ ] a 14 year old like. of course it was like the FBI pretending. to be a 14 year old who stay where they. were they were like not busy that day. you know letting terrorists you 9/11 or. letting Boston Marathon thing get bomb. so they were just like well we're sort. of bored today so we're just gonna. pretend to be kids online so this poor. kid I mean obviously he's got problems. too I'm not whatever but he's in there. with like hardened. people and now his life's over and he's.

living in this so I was like a cool Ben. I'm like should I do a podcast from. there sounds like what I thought you. were spiraling dude I was so worried. about you called me at like 12:30 in the. morning you're like what if it was me. just yelling about twisty treat in the. pedophile Park just screaming like about. the brownie boom. yeah I go and I go to the next one and. this [ __ ] goes we're privately-owned we. don't have a brownie boat she goes I. don't even know what a brownie boat is I. go it's the Banana Boat with brownies.

you dumb [ __ ] there's just a bunch of. pedophiles real smoking cigarettes and. I'm like all right so you guys [ __ ] kids. that's [ __ ] dog but but just. hypothetically if you all de Tracy treat. you'd make the brownie boat right. so I call my from Michael who I love but. he's dumb and he goes yeah you should do. it the documentary is really good it was. good you should do a pot get in a mic. well nobody's if you go in and you're if.

you're too nice to them people get mad. at you like if you try to fish here I'm. not a serious journalist so if I try to. do anything that fault feel sympathetic. to them because they aren't my lot of. people don't monstrous thing I mean you. know so if you're too sympathetic to the. people gonna be like you're too. sympathetic and if you're too much of a. dick it doesn't really work I can't go. there and like be a dick to them you. know what I mean I can't be you know so.

and then it feels like exploitive or. whatever I mean but it would be probably. an interesting podcast if I went there. and I just talked about twisty tree and. this [ __ ] who [ __ ] me over I was like. yeah you guys you guys you got [ __ ]. when you were young and cuz that's why. they're all there is they got [ __ ] and. they got touched I was like you guys got. a raw deal in life and I get it you have.

this horrible thing but I go like I let. them talk for a minute I let a woman go. she's like you know my father [ __ ] me. and it's just a disease and everything I. go yeah. that's bad I go let me ask you a. question now you had a brownie boat she. knows yeah the thing it twisted tree to. go yeah listen to this I go to another. twisty Street this [ __ ] says they don't. have it and they're owned by the same.

people own Eddie's what the [ __ ] does. that have to do with it what are the. people who owned Eddie's don't. it's the biggest seller at twisty treat. is the [ __ ] brownie boat the taco. also does well the choco taco that they. definitely make themselves but the point. is the boat is you just see them you see. the pedophiles like you're like I leave. the park and they're like you know what. it's good that we're not out in the. outside world have to deal with people.

like that at least we can live in this. little pervert park together mm-hmm. we don't have to deal with people like. that it could be worse. we could have some fat guy from New York. screaming about a brownie boat as soon. as she said we don't have the brownie. butter well I guess I went ha she goes. we don't have ha cuz we're all but the. people who owned Eddie's they go well. what does that have anything to do with. it to be honest I don't even know what. Eddie's is Eddie's was up the blockage.

to Eddie's and she said tell me the. whole thing she's like do this was the. first twisty tree time like all the more. reason it should have the [ __ ] boat. she goes well we got bought out by the. guy who owns Eddie's and we're francha. we're allowed to do whatever we want we. don't have the boat I go well don't. people ask for the boat every day she. goes every day people ask for this boat. I go well why don't you [ __ ] why.

don't you [ __ ] do it figure it out do. it for the people this whole state is. [ __ ] you got people running around. [ __ ] and sucking for heroin. you got pedophiles in the park you got. Ponzi real estate schemes you got old. people can barely keep the food in their. mouth. you got a 90 degree with it's an Indian. burial ground it's a cursed swamp down. here. all we are asking for is the [ __ ]. brownie pout which is what twisty treat.

is known for it's what it is known for. that and the banana bow she goes well I. don't even understand what the brandy. boat is I go I'll say it again. it is the Banana Boat with brownies are. there still bananas I said no but if you. wanted to leave the bananas in that. wouldn't be a problem and then I looked. at her I went also do you know where the. pedophile mobile home park is she goes I.

do not I said all right well then just. make the banana boat [ __ ] I'm here on. vacation I want the pedophile park and. the brownie boat it's my vacation hmm. it's a great dock pervert Park it is it. is a difficult it's difficult it's a. difficult doctor watch it's very hard to. watch it's not exactly light it's not. fun it ain't great um but it is.

[Music]. instructive in the sense you feel lucky. you feel lucky like I'm lucky I'm not a. pedophile I'm lucky I don't live in. Florida you know I mean this ain't Palm. Beach I'm lucky that I was not [ __ ] as. a kid because I was hot as [ __ ] I. should have been I'm lucky that I get to. use someone else's Netflix password and.

I don't even have to pay for this you. feel I mean it's a documentary you just. dude it's a [ __ ] dark I mean it's the. dark [ __ ] life I mean I don't know. what to say you know it's a very tough. we should call that twisty tree. they're closed they're open till 11:00 I. just call her once a day every day hey. it's Tim you recognize my voice yes you. have the boat yet. now we're independent what do you mean.

you're independent. every twisty tree is shaped like a big. ice cream cone. there is no independence you're not. doing your own thing it is a big ice. cream cone with a hole in it where a. person pops out it is not you don't put. your own stamp on twisty treat you're. not like what we want to do our lobster. bisque here. no you make the creations that people.

have come to depend on you know this is. but yeah it was a good idea that I. didn't do I don't even know how I would. have what I've done walking in the park. with my podcast equipment said hey are. you a pedophile well they all are the. every single one of them everyone in the. park I mean what would I've done I walk. in and go hey is there a hierarchy here. can I get I want like one of the lek.

don't want a big one I don't want like. did I knock that out no you're fine. here's the thing with wallets they. matter not all of them not all wallets. matter that's not true. but many people out there you need to. simplify your life you need to pare down. your life you have too much going on you. have too many friends you have too many.

family members you have too many you. know nonsensical thoughts and ideas and. opinions you have too many entanglements. you need to pare down you need to. simplify you need to cut these people. out like the cancer they are you need to. take yourself and put yourself in a. different situation you need to simplify. you need to streamline that doesn't only. go for your life but it has a lot to do.

with your wallet your accessories your. money the ridge wallet is a very simple. wallet okay it's pretty damn cool it's. metal it slides into your front pocket. no more losing money no more losing. debit or credit cards no more pulling. out a big old leather baseball glove. filled with singles like my father used.

to do is while it looked like a big old. baseball glove just a big old beaten. down leather wallet handled by a. beaten-down man the ridge wallet is. sleek it's sexy get in and out pull out. a debit card maybe a business card of a. lawyer you know or doctor only the. essentials the Ridgid wallet is about. essentials which i think many of you are.

living your life without you're living. in an era you're you're living with the. idea that abundance has to look like. abundance and it does not abundance in. its truest sense is the absence of. things the absence of things many of you. many of you don't even understand what. I'm talking about right now because. you're not you're not keyed in because.

your consciousness level does not match. mine and that is a that is a huge. problem right now but what do I mean. what I say abundance is the absence of. things it is the absence of clutter. abundance is reflected in its truest. form in simplicity having a very bare. simple beautiful home having a very hair.

down clean beautiful. living situation same can be said for. your car that's true abundance it's not. having boxes or [ __ ] it's not having. trinkets and toys and gadgets and gizmos. it's not having collectibles and things. stacked up in the garage it's none of. that that's boomer [ __ ] get over that.

nobody wants that it's having a few key. possessions but basically living like. you're in a hotel it's airy and light. and clean it's nice. make you populate it with your energy. and your all of that stuff you don't. necessarily need all of the other things. that things or what is putting you in. the grave so that's why the ridge wallet. is so cool because what it basically. does is it allows you to take the first. step in eliminating your friends and.

family and living a simpler more. productive life once you get rid of your. wallet and once you learn you can walk. around with a ridge wallet you also. learn that you can walk around with two. friends and not seven losers and you can. have you can talk to one uncle and not. all of them you only need to talk to one. aunt to find out when people died you. don't need to talk to all eight of them. and the ridge wallet is the first step. to that it's the first step to live in a. life of simplicity and isolation away. from these demons from hell that are.

trying to drag you into the pits of. their despair away from it away from the. clutter away from the disaster. capitalism away from the toys in the. garbage and the food and the plastic and. the poison away from all the things all. the drugs that you put in your body all. the consumerist materials that you you. you you scatter around yourself to. remind yourself that you alive that. you're alive and that you matter the. ridge wall is the first step to getting. rid of all of that it's the first step.

to walking out of that company you don't. care about lighting your house on fire. moving down to the Florida Keys it was. the first few years you live in a tent. people start to trust you okay then. you're working at a small little trinket. store and yeah you're selling a little. coke on the side but it's because you. have to make a goddamn living okay you. burn your passport and you don't pay. taxes anymore and it doesn't matter it's. the first time you felt alive for a long. time. a wife and kids in New Jersey that needs. you that haven't seen you in a while but.

it doesn't really matter does it because. when you feel that hot sand on your feet. and that rum and you throw it you feel. like what you always meant to be a. [ __ ] pirate you're a goddamn pirate. okay you living in the Florida Keys now. and you're selling coke and you're. working in a store and it sells a little. lie you know beer koozies and little. stuffed parrots but it doesn't really. matter because you're free and that. freedom you wonder you're like how did. that even happen how did I get the balls.

to do that to leave my family. you shouldn't have burned the house down. that was a little [ __ ] up that you did. you kind of you did that that was like. one of those things you just did you. didn't need to do it but you did it that. was a little over the top you know. because now your family is homeless but. they can they can live with they can. live with your wife sister because she. doesn't have a rich wallet that [ __ ]. saves everything including her sister. but you're gonna remember you can. remember or during the ridge wallet you.

just say what did I do what made this. massive change in my life you're gonna. go oh I get it I went to Ridge comm. slash Tim T I am I use the code Tim for. 10% off my order Ridge comm slash Tim I. used the code Tim for 10% off my order. and then what did I do. I realized that all of my entanglements. were putting me slowly into a grave an. early shallow grave that I didn't want. to be in so I went home I burned my.

house down I banded my family and all my. friends I moved to the Florida Keys and. I lived in a tent for two years and sold. cocaine and then I was hired at a small. store I met a woman down there that was. half Cherokee and she lived down there. and she kept running her mouth about the. white man this and the white man that. but she was fine for most of it but you. know those people can't handle the drink. the point is this it's a much better. life the cops eventually found you and. they dragged you back to New Jersey you. had the answer for what they called.

arson and it was arson but you had a. lawyer that was pretty good go in and. get you off on an insanity defense you. only had to do six months in a mental. hospital. said you had a complete break okay and. they took that Ridge wallet from you. when you went into the mental. institution because you could. technically kill yourself whether they. thought cuz its metal but as soon as. when they took that Ridge wallet away. from me it was like they're taking the. ring away from Bilbo you remembered you. like [ __ ] I don't have the ridge anymore.

when I had the ridge I was in the. Florida Keys with a hot half Cherokee. girlfriend selling cocaine and working. in a store where they sold stuff. Barrett's but now I'm back in a mental. institution because I just pled out on. the fact that I on an arson charge. because I burned my house down two and a. half years ago my wife won't even bring. my kids to see me but you know the first. thing you're gonna do when you get out. of that madhouse you're gonna go get. another [ __ ] Ridge you're gonna get. your Ridge back cuz the ridge isn't dead. they just keep it in a little box and.

they gave all your belongings back to. you when you're out you're gonna look at. that Ridge again and you can say we're. too buddy. where's to the next adventure Ridge calm. / Tim T I am use ridge for 10% off your. order the ridge wallet will take you. places you didn't even know we're. possible so did you go see the Joker. instead of getting the banana boat I saw. Joker in New York okay and it was really.

good I enjoyed it I thought it was great. I loved I loved the scene where he's. talking to DeNiro and he shoots the Nira. so I love it's really the only time I've. watched late-night television in the. past three years I was happy with the. outcome where I went yeah makes sense. and it's also so much less dark mm-hmm. then comedy yeah it's like doesn't even.

get it it's like not even close to have. breakfast on the road with someone who's. featuring for you it's so much most. people are so bad at comedy that if you. do were to explain to them how bad they. are they would start crying like they. have no idea how bad they're this is the. issue most people are so utterly. hopeless. in comedy that there isn't anything to. he can't tell them to do anything. there is no it would be like if I wanted.

to be a marathon runner and other. marathon runners had to take me. seriously and tell me that yeah well you. know yeah a lot of people just you know. start running and you know you get to. get the time's up and you'd have to talk. to me about training you know oh yeah oh. you train you get gotta get in the ice. bath yeah. knowing full well knowing full well that.

the chances of me being a successful. marathon runner are equal to the chances. of me flying around the city you know. what I mean like that's worth that so. then you like meet comics on the road. and like these comics were good this. weekend that I that I am that I met this. called Katie was really funny I forgot. her last name Katie Hughes maybe I don't. know she was really funny but then like. it's like but then it's like sometimes.

you'll meet comics where it's like. they're so far from where they need to. be there is no you can't tell me you go. Union so bad you're so bad and you're. old and you're not unique and you're. boring and the audience hates you and. you just bomb and there's nothing to do. there's nothing to do except realize.

that this is not at all something that. you should pursue professionally. personally in any you should not be on a. stage just because no one can legally. stop you from getting up there does it. mean that you have the right to stand in. front of people and waste their time I. mean that's the reality of so many. comics you meet on the road if she's. very tough they're hack they're not even.

half as great the great Kurt Metzger. would say you've got to get good enough. to be hack. right hack means is working with. derivative [ __ ] you're like out there. with nothing it's so bad like some of. these people they'll be like I don't. really know what to do. I'm trying to get some work here and. there I go wow guys what's the points I. mean literally what's the point do you.

realize the audience hated you do you. realize that the five minutes you spoke. to them was the worst five minutes of. their day do you realize that were you. there for that were you present are you. present for your own life are you even. casually observing your own life because. if you and I've met people that just. they get on stage they're going to this. they don't even know what they are. anymore. they think it's all going well I'm like.

no one laughed they were polite chuckles. pillow it was because it was. uncomfortable people were like huh. uh-huh. they just want you off they want you off. that stage and so quickly back to your. [ __ ] day job they want you so far. away from that it is [ __ ] insane. that you had the nerve to get on a stage. and and put these people through your.

delusion and your [ __ ] insanity. that's what it is you're putting someone. else through your insanity right now you. know you're not it ain't gonna happen. you're not meant to be on a stage you're. meant to be in the audience hmm the. majority of people do a comedy now were. just fans of comedy yeah then we're. allowed to get on stage because no one. tells you anymore you suck you're bad no.

one tells anyone the truths anymore. honesty is gone from public discourse. it's gone everything's gone any gender. can get their period we're all comedians. my thoughts are just as important is. yours no they're not you dumb [ __ ]. they're not. if they were it would for you it would. be obvious because people would be. laughing that's the goal then they all.

talk about their material they're like. you know my material I'm a Terra I feel. like sometimes the room doesn't get I. said the room that gets your material. doesn't exist it is a hospital room the. room for you to perform in is padded. okay straight chai these people need to. be in straight Chuck and I have to sit. there and kindly nod and go yeah you.

know you moved to New York I got sir. move to LA whatever you want to do just. get in there and you know keep writing. no no keep not keep keep writing and. sign yourself into a mental institution. don't write another joke shine your name. on an intake paper pull yourself away. [ __ ] lunatics I'm sad it's a world. where no one could be told.

honestly that they're their [ __ ] full. of [ __ ] how about how long has this been. we have five minutes like okay hand me. my phone I want to read a quote from the. great Andrew Colin who once got pulled. over and a who once got pulled over jet. skiing and a manatee zone he's a real. Florida man he was speeding in a manatee. zone the great Andrew Colin and he. summed up he summed up Florida really. well he's when I first met him in New. York he's Nikki Glaser's opened her very. funny guy I used to talk about Long. Island he would talk about Florida and.

this is how I said we're both gonna end. up in Florida Andrew and he writes back. he goes Medicare fraud Tom Petty horse. [ __ ] two different face eating. stories fake tits nice muscles fried. Gator surfing wakeboarding punching old. people throwing old people down stairs. steal money from a dying old person it. has it all it really does all our best.

people Casey Anthony. Terry Schiavo remember that vegetable. that her husband fought the wheel around. team imagine that. what a [ __ ] horseshit world we live. in remember that poor woman wanted to. die he's like no I'll wheel her around. like a vegetable we'll talk about Jesus. for three years. remember that Terry Schiavo that was a. height of Fox News insanity whenever was. that don't let Terry died Terry will be.

she'll be kept alive like [ __ ] weekend. at Bernie's she's she's still here I. mean I'm telling you this I have a DNR I. have a DNR I have a DNR where I don't. even have to be near death for them to. let me die I have a DNR if Chelsea. Handler gets another deal at Netflix I'm.

not to be resuscitated if Chelsea. Handler gets a deal at Netflix I'm to be. I'm to be taken out and killed. that's my DNR was she will can you. imagine the next IQ and I mean hello. privileges meet Chelsea what's the next. idea she's just walking around the Gaza. Strip sorry about this I didn't realize. as a Jewish person that we actually did. some [ __ ] up [ __ ] sorry about this. this is too real pasta Nicky with no. arms she's like I'm sorry I'm a big. celebrity in America and I realized that.

when I did a bunch of jokes calling you. people rats I realized that was not the. move would you like to come you like to. come to my house in Bel Air. while I talk about this Illume privilege. hello Gaza it's me Chelsea if she does. hello Gaza. it's me Chelsea I will like her again. that is what I would like her again if. she has the wherewithal to just walk. around the Gaza Strip and I would be.

like this [ __ ] is crazy. she should go to every she should. apologize for everything America's ever. had ever done Tuskegee Airmen hate. Tuskegee. it's me Chelsea. hey I'm Kayla it's me Chelsea I had no. idea that there were people getting. asset without their knowledge I've. always thought I love acid but I know. what I'm taking it. next it's hey MK it's me Chelsea she.

just goes and apologizes for everything. that's ever been done great. you know folks you've never been to. Florida. one kid yeah I'm yeah it's a vibe down. there man. it's a [ __ ] vibe there's some other. rooms down there there's a but there's. like off the hook comedy club in Marco. Island I think is like a Red Lobster. with a stage the Miami improv like a big.

yeah I'd like to go back there I'd like. to go back to Florida sometime in the. winter not Tampa but another part of it. because it's nice to get out of the cold. even though I'm what do you think that. is he think it's a noise complaint. Benjamin I wonder I bet the funds but I. bet it is hello hi.

talking I apologize okay the people at. the coast hotel here are unhappy with. this Benjamin because there's loud. talking so a lot of that the pieces of. [ __ ] in this hotel I should have said.

what do they have to sleep for what they. have to sleep for they're just gonna. wake up the next morning and go [ __ ]. chug some nuts this loud talking what if. people wanted to have sex in the room or. watch TV we're not louder than a TV well. I'm probably I'm the TV probably doesn't. work it's probably that's the one reason. well half this place is under. construction to it so it's like I see. the interesting aesthetic here it.

couldn't be let it couldn't be more drab. yeah it feels like a double-wide that. they hung curtains in 100% but it's also. like I can't really spend bananas money. on hotels until I'm like I can't I can't. spend my so much would you look at like. the three-day total of hotels or a lot. of money you're like I can't like I. can't do this the amount of money is so. absurd to stay in Los Angeles and New.

York - it's like [ __ ] but then you. leave those places and you can like stay. in a palace for no money pretty you know. hmm not everywhere there's some places. like I was looking at rooms in. Indianapolis they were more than I. thought I was a an apples what Omaha. though the rooms looked kind of cheap in. Omaha Omaha I'm gonna call that dude. tomorrow. ask him we're trying to do an epic. podcast in Omaha about the Franklin.

scandal where we get some people to talk. maybe haven't talked before anonymously. or whatever we might go and visit Noreen. Gosch who lives in Des Moines a few. hours from Omaha I gotta talk to Nick. Bryan tomorrow Road to Franklin scandal. maybe sometime in November. we'll have to see when yeah but it could. be an interesting it could be very.

interesting to get some people to talk. that haven't talked I don't know that. they would but we'll see you know would. it be funny if it got them talked to. like it actually is fake we're like what. you're like the whole thing is we made. it up mean a bunch of kids who made it. up like wait a minute was again a. politician they're gonna ban smoking we. said we just call them all Satanists and. pedophiles like wait a minute none of it. was true they're like not even a little.

like wait what that's crazy I mean I. think that I think that could be an epic. and spooky podcast. it'd be like spooky and you you know you. would do it and you'd be like yeah you. know be in a room like this somebody. would come in they would say something. horrific and heinous like really really.

[ __ ] up you know what I mean like they. would it would they would tell you. something it was done to them or you'd. be like this is [ __ ] up. and I would look at them and I have. you've been a twisty tree because I went. and then I had the banana that brownie. vote and then the next day I go and they. those [ __ ] like we're. independently-owned we're all by the. same people that own a tease and I'm. like what does that have to do with the. price of tea in China. oh wait hold I keep calling ya round.

case you would chain in the radiator me. and beaten the whole point of a. franchise is to have a few items that. are consistent goodbye. good night and good luck hardly. Weinstein showed up to a comedy show in. New York City over the last few days I. think it was last night of two nights. ago. this actors group look at maybe a.

networking group of actors in New York. had an event and the woman who owned the. or ran the group thought it would be a. good idea to invite harf I mean who. better than to tell these actors what. they need to do who better to offer. advice and counsel who better than to. Shepherd the careers of young vulnerable.

impressionable actors then the legend. himself Harvey Weinstein. seems like a good idea doesn't it does. it seem like a good idea that um it's. amazing that no one vetoed that that. nobody said you know I gotta be honest I. know he's made some good movies but I.

don't think it's the best idea to have. him sit in the audience at a comedy show. during this actors event it may seem in. bad taste if we have a man that's been. accused by 87 women of rape many of them. were actors it might be in bad taste to. have him sit in the front row of the. show with his big grin and he was called.

out by this comedian I figure name was. Kelly Bachmann and she got maybe 75 80. thousand Twitter followers overnight and. I believe her clip is where is it. Benjamin it's up at five million. something like that I'm going to. right now she had about 5 million views. on the clip of her calling out Harvey. Weinstein 4.8 mil for point 8 million on.

the clip how many followers she got. seventy seven point three seventy seven. point three go follow me on Twitter. folks Tim Jay Dylan because you know I. respect her I told people to follow her. but like now it's getting out of hand. quite quickly. you know what would I have done you know. she called out Harvey talked about her. own experience go watch the clip it's a. funny clip I respect that a lot of.

comics didn't say anything cuz comics. are [ __ ] and you know they were. probably still thinking they're like you. know Harvey's probably coming back. Harvey will be back I don't want to run. my mouth what would I have done great. question I racked my brain let's be. honest Harvey would probably enjoy my. act now because my act is prorate. because he's a human being with blood in. his veins and those people like what I. do they enjoy what I do I'm good at it. Harvey would have laughed what if I had.

seen that what if I had been crushing. with Harv what have Harvey been laughing. belly laughing so hard what if you'd. whispered to somebody at his table this. guy's a [ __ ] genius what if I saw him. out of the words this guy is a [ __ ]. genius. I wish I still had the power to make him. a star what if I heard that what if I. saw that would I've taken my time to. berate him from the stage what if I was. really slaying slaying the room and.

nobody laughing harder than Harvey. Weinstein nobody imagined maybe three. years ago. Harvey Weinstein showing up to a show. and you're just killing say hey Harv. cuz when did this break this didn't. break this is this is I think the. Weinstein news broke in 2017 2018 but.

it's not that long ago yeah I think like. a month before Louie. right I don't. I mean so if you went back a few years. ago which is not that long and Harvey. Weinstein was in the audience at a. comedy show you'd be like whoa tonight's. the night tonight's my night and it was. still her night this was still a big. night for her here's here's what you.

want to know what we really draw from. this event. Harvey is still making [ __ ] stars he. is still making stars and don't think he. doesn't know it don't think he doesn't. know it he just launched of a woman open. mic girl maybe maybe not maybe she was.

doing some other shows I don't know I. don't see her out on the road I don't. know what else she's doing maybe she's a. writer I'm not trying to denigrate her. she's probably she's probably very funny. she was she she handled that situation. very well. it's very adapt she was good to the. things she said were very funny but she. was obscure and Harvey made her a star. maybe the last woman she might even say. in an interview on the last woman Harvey. wants he made a star right. very interesting folks isn't it fun of.

the world works. it's wild that's just how my mind works. because I say Harvey's still out there. making stars just being in the same room. with Harvey wants to him change your. life and it did overnight you know. what would I have done it's a great. question it's a great question would. I've. recognized them probably when I got on.

stage I saw Harvey Weinstein there I. would have definitely addressed him and. I would not have been deferential to. Harvey Weinstein I would have tried to. be very funny though but I would have. called him a rapist I mean I say the. Ellen's in the CIA I say wild things. that are true but I I have no problem. talking [ __ ] but I think it's good that. it came from a woman and a rape survivor. I believe that I think that was more.

than move you know I might have went the. angles like God Harvey Weinstein I bad. your life now you're the [ __ ] comedy. show what a bunch of nobodies shouldn't. raped all those people huh you know so I. think I think it was probably best well. it's amazing as it were dudes in the. back oh and sugar when she referenced it. who the [ __ ] a day sure you know if she.

really think had a Gatsby has a point. maybe Nanette maybe she's right yo sure. don't say nothing about Harvey what kind. of goons this is a guy that had the. Mossad X Mossad agents on his payroll. intimidating women you know and they. can't get him on anything huh nobody. could get him and can't put him in jail. got all these people can't get him on. anything you heard those tapes the tapes.

are kind of horrific where you know he's. just trying to get into this woman's. room it's just like no no no come and. easy let me in let me in you know he got. off on torturing and terrorizing people. I mean that's clear you know no matter. what you think about you know no matter. what you think about you know due. process and whatever and all your you. know people cuz that's his defense you. know well it's the court of public. opinion and say yeah but the.

preponderance of evidence is high. there's a lot including your own words. and actions knock. um lose gum has tweeted something funny. he goes harvey weinstein in the audience. is gang fest of course not he would have. been in the green room very funny. every now and then lewis is very very. funny it's not often but every now and. then he's very fun Ben you got to shut. those dogs out okay I I mean this is.

yeah you live in a neighborhood I mean. Ben has two useless dogs and they'll be. useless children eventually but him and. his chick I have these two dogs and dogs. are they practice on like you practice. on dogs and I look at some people with. dogs that can't behave and I'll make man. their kids are gonna suck their kids are. gonna be disrespectful and I gotta be.

honest with you it's not a good omen. that these dogs are just poorly behaved. and you know and I mean you realize that. this is like you're gonna have you and. her or whatever the hell you're doing. you're gonna have to get better when you. have children because dogs are this is. like a rehearsal for children and if. these dogs were children they would be. like running around you know going crazy. yeah so I mean I look at people's dogs.

and I go oh well you're gonna have. children and then these children are. gonna be a problem you know so hopefully. you two figure it out between now and. then it's [ __ ] kids threw up my train. of thought you know Lois can be very. very funny and chooses a lot of times. just you know fight get in fights and. troll people but he can actually be very. funny that's I think people I don't. think people realize but I was trying to.

do we're trying to go down to Omaha. Nebraska and do an episode of the show. about the Franklin scandal and he's not. gonna happen for a million reasons. because I'm not a journalist and I don't. have the resources and then the people. that are journalists uh. you know people are very protective of. their own stories and their own scoops. and they want to quote unquote own that.

info even though it's somewhat public. record so this whole idea of like when. people tell me they like oh you should. do more conspiracy stuff on the show you. should do more you know deep dives and. investigations and stuff it's kind of. like well I don't that's not my job I'm. a comedian what I will do is I will. showcase the work of other people I find. credible but they have to be kind of. willing to do that they have to be and. if they have other projects that they. feel like will be jeopardized if they do.

that I completely understand them not. wanting to do it they've put their lives. a lot of people with this conspiracy. it's not just a Franklin scandal it's a. lot of different things people dedicate. their lives to this [ __ ] and they want. to get a payday they want to expose. people they want it but they also want. to make a little money because they put. themselves at a professional and. personal risk to do the reporting that. they've done and now they want a payday. you know so they come to LA and. Hollywood and they get all these holding.

deals are we gonna make a movie and. that's tonight and you know they these. people they blow smoke up your ass and. tell you everything's gonna be great no. you're gonna do this and that's gonna be. worldwide phenomenon and you're gonna be. the guy that broke the thing and the. movie is gonna make everybody care. because by the way that's really. American the goal now is never. congressional investigation or anything. it's a movie the goal is the only way to. get the American public to care about. anything is to have like a like a movie. or a Netflix series that gets a lot of. attention like that would be it that you.

know if you wanted to wake people up. about anything you'd have to like put it. in a Marvel film you'd have to sneak it. into a Marvel film to get people. interested in it I mean so I think a lot. of people in the in the conspiracy space. imagined that eventually they're gonna. get a documentary user and then those. documentaries are gonna be features and. then those features gonna wake people up. and then because JFK did it to an extent. you know JFK people started getting. interested in that there was then. pressure and they released some records.

again what did that all add up to you. tell me but it certainly it certainly. opened the window open the door to more. of a legitimate inquiry into that event. so that could happen and I think that. can happen usually what happens is it's. usually 50 years after the event. happened when everybody's dead that. people start figuring out what happened. or that there's even like some idea of. you know JFK was assassinated I think in. 1963 and JFK the movie came out in the.

90s which is about 30 years later I. think in the 90s. Jeff cake came out okay get JFK up and. [Applause]. it was a good movie 1991 yes a 91 about. 30 years later you know maybe there will. be a movie made about the Franklin. scandal there'll be a movie made sooner. about Jeffrey Epstein because he's dead. so boom you can you can you know that'll.

come out next year they'll do a Jeffrey. Epstein movie it'll be a year or two. from now maybe not even it'll be a movie. about a guy with a secret island and all. these rich and powerful people but it. won't hint to you you'll never get. really close to what was going on and I. don't believe they'll you know portray. any real politicians in it and one.

wonders if they'll even suggest that. these people are at the top of the. political you know system in their. countries it might just be guys in suits. walking around an island that you know. are rich and powerful but like are they. going to or it would the movie be like. this guy's the leader of a country. because that that I think would change. you know if they did a movie and they. wanted to make it an accurate depiction. you would have to have leaders of. countries going to this island I think. they'll actually just have you know. people that have nice watches on and.

will have to you know deduct the dare of. rich powerful but it's not gonna be like. you know it's not gonna be a direct you. know and we'll see I could be wrong. so the problem. we do in the Franklin scandal episode in. Omaha is because I don't have I'm not. getting anyone to talk nobody's gonna. talk to me I you know nobody's good. people to Google me this year I've.

dressed up like Megan McCain I also. don't know how to judge the veracity of. what other people are saying I don't I. mean I can't cross check things this is. not my job. there's no what I do I have great. respect for the people who do it but. those people need to need to facilitate. this and you know maybe they will in the. future and will do in the future but I. think when people are like you should do. more you're selling out course or you. won't do two good spirits like number. one conspiracies are mainstream dummies.

they're trying to make movies about all. this [ __ ] people are so dumb you guys. are all so [ __ ] behind you know and. you know you can't even grasp that the. [ __ ] can you bring the man please you. know people like all this baggage around. it's like an excuse you know the dog we. have the dog take the love that you give. to the dogs and give it to something. that's gonna matter like a business like. children enough with the [ __ ] animals. don't edit this part out enough with the.

[ __ ] animals folks it's it's sick. it's really sick it's like instead of. getting the going to a doctor and. figuring out why you're so [ __ ] up in. the head you just hug this warm ball of. fur enough with this folks get a clue. get a handle on your [ __ ] life okay. enough these animals don't even want to. [ __ ] live what you have for them half. of them are bred there they're dr. Moreau animals that they crossbreed then. they make these little freak things that.

don't even know why they're alive they. can barely breathe half these things and. they just sit on a pillow with you and. watch your water post mates it's not. what they want they don't even know why. they're on the [ __ ] planet you know. and it's every loser has nine dogs and. can't do anything because of the dogs. that's every loser story I kill my. daughter's needs me I can't go and do. anything in the world my doggy needs me. your dog doesn't even even want to be. near you your dog doesn't even know why. it's living in your basement so get rid.

of the [ __ ] animals until you have an. actual. life where you can have bring other. living things into your life and take. care of them okay it's it's a disgusting. fetish that I'm sick of I'm truly sick. of these dirty people with their filthy. homes and the disgusting dogs my friend. just got a dog he's a good soul so nice. over dog I'm not drinking going out do. blow because whoo I have a dog now what.

what you stop doing drugs because you. got a dog well there's a problem fix the. problem I'm sure the dog loves that. being the only thing that stands between. you and a coke man it's really so what I. was saying about the conspiracy stuff is. that it gets a lot tougher when there's. egos involved all of these guys have you.

guys. everybody's written a book has an ego. everybody's been part of a documentary. doesn't you go everybody wants to have. on their turf they want to own the story. they want it to be done a certain way. then they they get financial backers to. make these things into movies or a. bigger documentaries and then those. people want exclusivity and it's a whole. thing so it's actually a lot tougher. than you would imagine. you know the smiley face killers for.

example this is just an example I want. to tell you people this cuz many not all. of my fans but some of some of my. friends are literally literal they're. they're brain dead like they have they. don't have blood or oxygen running to. their brain and they're somehow alive. it's a medical miracle it's a literal. medical miracle some of the people the. message may I wanted to do follow-up on. the smiley face killers episode if you. don't recall that it's really. interesting one join the patreon check. it out smiley face killers was.

supposedly this gang of serial killers. traveling around the country or they. have cells in different cities and. they're killing young good-looking. college-educated males and throwing them. in a river this is what was alleged. there was a show on it that oxygen. networked in it was a bad show it. diminished the credibility of what I. tried to do pretty pretty severely to be. honest because it was shot like a. reality show and but again it's just you.

know everybody's got their hand out and. these people just want to yeah yeah. we're gonna put you on TV that's totally. fine I understand that I totally get it. I know that TV has an allure new media. whatever I had a guy that felt like that. claim to be a victim a potential victim. this mother. I found them credible I believed them it. was completely happenstance that I ran. into him in Wisconsin which is a hotbed. of this activity his story would checked. out and it was very interesting and I. had him on the show is one of our most. successful episodes so I email these.

three goofballs that have been touting. this theory for 20 years okay one of. them is this guy I forget his name he's. been accused of sexual assault there's. another one I think he went and lied to. some college campus and he was okay you. know anything about this uh smiley face. killer why don't you put your smiley. face on my god they took his dick out. there's this guy Kevin Gannon right is. that his name Kevin Gannon yeah he likes.

to take his [ __ ] out in the middle of. the investigation tank so that that. goofball and then this other guy Leigh. Gilbertson who's just some professor at. st. cloud you by the way these three. losers are probably killing these kids. to get a show on oxygen Network and then. some other Italian goon from Long Island. or Jersey or my neck of the woods some. who's um I'm sure is a nice guy you know. a cop used to listen to shove my friend. Michelle and she said they were these. were like nice guys but they were kind.

of whatever like you know you know yeah. they were just you know she's like yeah. they're you know they're they're uh. they're real New York guys they got. everybody's got a million stories and. you know what's true and what's not and. they got a million ideas and opinions. but you know they're probably not the. most careful people that have ever lived. and now by the way I totally believe. something's wrong with the smiley face. killer like I believe something's going. on with the drownings and stuff I. believe that there's there's certainly. something that's going on 100% a lot of.

these make. it's in the dead of winter these kids. end up two miles from the bar the party. that they were in nobody and people are. going well people drunk they like to be. by the water it's like yeah in July not. in February nobody is walking two miles. in February by the icy River to get home. I mean it's just not rational right so I. don't discredit this theory but the. people that came up with it you know. these are you know people who they don't.

read the most credible okay you know. they do this reality short oxygen which. I get it they want to get the you know. they want to get their story out there. you know the overweight housewives you. know so they could talk about it while. they had Weight Watchers meetings I saw. something there on oxygen about young. boys getting killed how many points does.

the bathtub of lasagna have is that how. many points is that a tub of lasagna. like a bathtub portion so I emailed Lea. Gilbertson this one of these guys who. helped originate this theory who works. at like st. Cloud Minnesota whatever I. email him I go hi my name is Tim Dylan. I'm a comedian I did a hugely popular. episode on the show I'd reached out to.

you before you had told me that you were. waiting to see what oxygen network was. gonna do and if they were gonna renew. you and then you know obviously there's. you know they might have a say in what. press you do but I was following up with. you because I didn't see you on the. schedule for next season of oxygen which. I'd they're probably not you know. because she can't beat this thing. forever you know these people be doing. it for 20 years I've been dragging these. parents along for 20 years and there's.

been no convictions no nothing no. arrests they've got a few cases. reclassified as homicides or maybe one. case one case which I think is good so. email I'll read you this guy's email. back to me so I just want to show you. this. the reality of what you're dealing with. here I'll read it back to you guys right. now word for word I read you my email. and then his email and you can see you. know where it is. I was like hey hey just circling back.

with you leave my podcast episode on the. smiley face killers was very well. received we got somewhere between 150. and 200 thousand downloads on the. episode I had reached out earlier about. a potential interview I know that you. guys were waiting to hear back from. oxygen just circling back to see if you. have any more information about. potentially another season and if you. would be available to do an episode of. the show okay he comes back to me. because Tim thank you for the invite and. offer to present the story of the young.

man to a border audience not broader. border audio again I'm not gonna I'm not. gonna [ __ ] on him for a [ __ ] typos. you know but sometimes a type old just. give you a little bit of an idea we have. discussed this amongst our team the team. the team given the gravity of this topic. a comedy venue slash genre does not seem. appropriate were you to have another. outlet then we could perhaps accommodate.

your request again thanks for extending. the opportunity again so I've not. responded I think I'm gonna respond and. go ahead we cover a lot of serious. topics on the show we handled them. responsibly I've had xci agents on the. show I've had best-selling authors on. the show and I've had people that have. said that my interviews the interviews.

that me and Ray did with them were. better than interviews that they that. were done with them at ABC or CBS or NBC. Mark Kelly Adi said that he wrote the. book lavoro the inside story in the. Russian mafia he was like these two. comedians did a great job interviewing. me I don't think that'll change his. opinion by the way of whether he wants. to come on I'll fill him in on those. indisputable facts I don't think that'll. change his opinion because these people. are waiting for I'm telling you they're. all waiting for the movie deal. telling you they're all waiting for the.

next season in the TV show so don't come. to me and go you know conspiracies to. yourself listen buddy there's layers to. this [ __ ] that you [ __ ] don't know. about cuz you're sitting on your couch. [ __ ] and you have no clue and you. don't know any of these people you don't. talk to any of them these people all. want a payday it's completely rational. I'm not hating on them why would they do. this if there was no benefit okay there.

needs to be some benefit do they also. want to help people and get justice yeah. sure of course they do. they wouldn't have spent years on this. without that being a thing but they also. want this to be seen by the broadest. audience possible so they're not. necessarily convinced that I can deliver. that to them or they're not convinced. that they don't want to muck up their. ability to down the line get a bigger. deal somewhere from some outlet that is.

going to provide them with one so that. is a problem that you run into often. with a lot of these people not all of. them but a lot of them especially when. there's something salacious smileyface. kills could be a great [ __ ] movie I'd. go see it you know that's the problem. here you know like Edward Snowden was on.

rogue and poor guys living in Moscow. he's on a run what would I have done if. I had worse Snowden I probably would. have just went to Chili's to be honest. because I don't truly have faith in the. people of the country they don't care. that they're being surveilled we've. talked about it before I I talked to. people they're like so what am i doing I. don't care to deal watching me you could.

watch me eat pizzas or the food who. cares. call my ex-girlfriend ahora. they don't understand that having. everything you've ever said or done. being stored in a bank waiting to be. weaponized against you by tyrannical. governments not the thing you didn't get. it good for you at Snowden some people. probably get it.

hopefully changes history it's certainly. you're a historical figure and you got a. lot more faith than these [ __ ] and I. do I would have went to Chili's I would. have brought five of my friends to a. Chili's from Long Island and sat them. down and explained to everything that I. had found and saw and I would have. looked at them and I would have. explained that I'm like guys everything. guys I was sat him down I would look at.

my friend Ryan I see Ryan every single. thing you've ever typed into a Google. search bar everything you've said on the. phone everything you've texted to. somebody everything you've looked up. it's all being saved in a database and. the government gets to just do whatever. they want with it I tell all my friends. you know you know what their response. would be the big yo I ordered the burger. medium-rare it's not rare it's [ __ ]. it's like brown it's like a [ __ ].

piece of meat on the [ __ ] floor I. paid money for this what the [ __ ] yo. these egg rolls are good too. southwestern egg rolls and then I would. have said to myself wow so if I go. forward with this information I'm gonna. be put in jail and I'll have to probably. live in Moscow. I just want to silently ate the egg roll. look at all my friends went home and. went to bed went you know what what are. we saving what are we really truly.

saving I'm not against Nodin doing it. I'm just thinking about my own you know. going back to Harvey Weinstein yeah I. would have said something to him but. what if what if Harvey just got it what. if he laughed at all the new stuff. what have you laughed at all my new. material. what if he pulled me aside after the. show and said listen I got an idea for.

you sure. it's easy to say that I would be. repulsed by him and I would because he's. a rapist but man I've done a lot of. rooms where good people just didn't get. it they stared at you. what if Harvey was howling cackling. hitting the table hooting and hollering.

connecting with my material in a way. that maybe nobody ever had a way that. made it all worth it the shitty planes. and the shitty clubs and the shitty. hotels and the bar shows and the lack of. friends and family and the loneliness. what if I looked at him and he got it he. understood what I was doing up there we. were on the same [ __ ] frequency what. would I have done when I like Edward. Snowden I've blown the whistle or would.

I've eaten the southwestern egg roll I. don't know and I never will.