158 - Leaving Hell

and now Tim Dylan is going to have. [Music]. welcome to Tim Dylan is going to hell. everybody this is Tim Dylan there will. be no video for this episode because I. am in New York City this is the final.

episode from New York City we are also. changing the name of the show from Tim. Dylan's going to hell to the Tim Dylan. show we had a little contest for artists. to submit sketches of what they thought. the new show should you know what the. the I thought the [ __ ] Apple podcast. art should be and very quickly somebody. accused me of taking advantage of. artists because I said I would get the. free tickets and I would pay them to.

like if we use your art I guess or what. the comedy shows which I said listen if. let's end the art in yeah by the way. fully expecting we're using none of it. and guess what we're using none of it. right and I fully expected that he's. saying hey Shen the art in because. here's the thing with the way art works. it'd be a lot of these people like look. at all the other things I've done that. doesn't matter right your portfolio. doesn't matter. I can still bomb if you go to if you. watch my special or you see me do.

something you go oh that was funny I. liked him and then you come see me and I. bought I can still ruin your night but I. bumped so if I think your other your. portfolio is great it doesn't mean that. you're gonna do something that I like. well I mean that is the only way you can. go I mean know a sketch you have to. submit a sketch yeah you got to give me. an idea where you're going sure so and. then if I was gonna use the sketch right. I will compensate you monetarily okay. but if they said anything in and you.

don't use it you'll still give them. tickets. no no what comic what it would no Acacio. cortez no it people are sending stick. figures in of of me going Epstein did. 9/11 which I liked that one right but. there no you're not getting free tickets. for said anything if I choose your are. well here's the thing no there is no. thing but go I'm agreeing with you. because you want to start calling your. fanbase now because you. what you are calling them you know give.

or take my point is you want a loyal. mercenary fanbase oh yeah you know you. want like a [ __ ] in the pest army if. you will. you want something you could get in like. you know people who will be like in for. the 10-year run you don't want people. like you know oh you're gonna get me a. ticket [ __ ] that you do it just so if I. can talk to you what the FBI didn't know. who we are right you know what I mean. what's below like what are the proud. boys are they terrorists or they. consider the terrorism I think they.

knock them back down whatever below that. is you're just right below that yeah you. want to be on the board going who are. these guys we want to be on a cork board. somewhere in Jersey and having some. low-level FBI agent go let's keep tabs. on that the YouTube views are growing no. but my whole thing was listen send in. the [ __ ] if you like it okay we'll give. you some money or give you a few hundred. bucks 500 bucks whatever if we use it. right and then some lunatic guy starts. messing me goes I've been ripped off by.

many podcasts the Kumi has made. thousands of dollars selling my shirts. I'm like dude not giving them shirts if. you've been ripped off by even one. podcast it's probably your fault but let. alone multiple one so I'm like dude I'm. not going to take the art this art was. for the Apple for the Apple podcast [ __ ]. for the thumbnail whatever it is it was. not just put on shirts and sell and. never compensate the artist but again of. course we have to yeah if it's a if it's.

your you know your brand your little. icon I mean that's worth a few a few. bits yeah you good a few bucks. I would I would absolutely pay for that. but the shirts I'm gonna sell will have. quotes all right that's the things I. said and more so than like the you know. whatever I tried to sell copies with us. by the way I didn't introduce led to be. back right know who I am. the new people we've gotten up so a lot. of people don't know you're right should.

I say hello mister I know who you guys. say hello to you know you're in your. friend who's my friend mr. Brogan you. want it you want it you think that's how. you're gonna get on the show. I don't want minutes doing a show. talking about how he's the [ __ ] so. you don't want to get on the show I'll. come on cuz you HOT you're very hostile. for a minute. [Applause]. what am I gonna fly to California wait. for my goddamned I [ __ ] on that [ __ ].

show it's ridiculous he wants to ask me. about how he's taking your skin and put. on my hands fingerprint morgue you know. I just had to put their skin on my hand. like he loved that wouldn't it be. hilarious if somehow you had the most. controversial robe like it wasn't Alex. Jones like YouTube throws him off just. get rid of millions in a drab because of. you because you're describing some crime. you committed at the morgue it wasn't. right this was this was a procedure. yeah the method I used look we were.

respectful to these bodies we didn't. [ __ ] these bodies most people that. sounded like something that robert. muller would say most people don't know. this but ray who did the show for two. and a half years with me. was a photographer at a Long Island. morgue right and and and then moved into. other activities at the your job the. scope of your job was enlarged well look. I mean look that first of all that was.

part of my job the taking the photos the. skin thing on the hand cuz I think. fingerprints that was my job. but yes sometimes I would clean the. bodies move the bodies on off the x-ray. table one time they let me cut open a. rib cage with a bolt cutter I suspect. this is Jeff s removes the intestines. and why would you milk the intestines. have you ever looked intestines no see. I'm not against a mob all for trying new. experiences I've never left the country.

I didn't go through an airplane till was. 34 right yeah I did milk an intestine a. Ghirardelli did cut open. ribcage with bolt cutters snack which. was not technically what the in the you. were not hired to do that right no look. I mean you know if you're play field Ron. James playing a basketball he's a power. forward he can't get a rebound that I. don't know if that is a fitting analogy. maybe not. I play all positions I know and I. appreciate that I would love I would. love you to go on Joe show and then.

discuss your career sure at the morgue. which she's ended tragically the. mosquito lab but yeah when they moved. you the mosquito that yeah yeah. interesting when you talk about the dark. side along island right which touch for. us is you really only side I mean. there's other sides to other you know. you know the seafoods good but the rest. of it you've you've lost somebody that. worked at the morgue you just saw oh. yeah the ms-13 body machetes see in the.

machetes in the bodies the drunks the. heroin OD he's hidden the [ __ ] guy [ __ ]. that with a tree branch in the ass right. you know that baby in the freezer in the. garbage bag on Christmas Eve on. Christmas Eve yeah baby in the freezer. in a garbage bag of Christmas he was. frozen solid we couldn't count me I. couldn't cut him open until Christmas. yeah overnight but I'm thaw out and you. had to cut him open on Christmas and I. didn't do that one that was a real. Johnny Cash they wouldn't let me you. know dude extra stuff you hardly had the.

fall baby out overnight on Christmas. yeah really I wasn't there when I was. one of those [ __ ] you know heat lamps. but you know yeah we've left him in the. area that wasn't refrigerated and yeah. the next day I mean I was working. Christmas that year so we're gonna tell. you so I'm [ __ ] we come in and. Christmas Day we [ __ ] at the Coppola. kid so this is Chris Wow well you know. this is what me and ray initially became. friends because I found these stories. fascinating you know the comedy industry.

did not know networks did not like as my. stories they did not really they like. the bagel guy they like yeah well you. know I've seen you do a lot worse than. the bagel guy but I mean I thought he. was tamed yeah I thought that bagel that. was pretty taken her name was life dude. I was I told the story last week on this. show I was. Taco Bell morbidly obese woman with. purple hair right was screaming at the. cashier going I'm a vegan. I just ate sour cream don't you think.

that's a [ __ ] problem I asked it. there was no sour cream in this I just. hates our couscous I've been a vegan for. almost a year the lady can barely. understand English cashier and then it. is in a cage somewhere they get this fat. lady with the purple hair looks at me. she goes they don't care this restaurant. doesn't care and I said here's the thing. people don't realize about Long Island. point the camera any in any direction. you get bagel guy yo and more well I've.

been in situations where like cuz old. women will be a bit abusive as that guy. yeah I remember I don't never what three. oh ten years ago probably I was in a. post office I think in Hicksville his. old woman was berating the [ __ ] guy. behind the counter because he didn't. have the butler package and she was just. being and she's being awful so I took it. upon myself so shut up you [ __ ] you get. cancer guys screaming so you have. situations where like you have big. people outdoing each other in public.

spaces like you don't run up beat like. the big guys like should have had a. counterpart you know I mean the other. guy beat him up so I guess that counts. but usually doesn't get physical I wish. that had been a fat woman yeah like a. fat female bus driver oh just me what no. against bagel right I just went in there. and laid him out but I was I was in Long. Island today I went with channeling her. when I go to his beach club I go to the. beach clubs once a year here to uh. remember the days when I was a king well.

when I was in overweight chain-smoking. pool lifeguard at a beach club in Long. Island uh eating food like people have. recognized you from weird lifeguard days. do not really know you got no because I. mean it's he's a member of a different. Beach Club okay they barely recognized. me when I shot my [ __ ] pilot the. Comedy Central probably won't pick up. right at the same Beach Club but that. was your Beach Club that was my Beach.

Club that we shot the pine I didn't. recognize you a few people but the. already the more gone you know people. move the kids get older you have to put. on for you I've put on a few pounds skin. doesn't look quite the same no I mean. you know Shadley it doesn't look that. different oh you had best getting back. then no but I mean it wasn't great okay. so we're at the beach club and uh you. know people that haven't been a beach. club you pay money to get this little. Cabana it's like eight grand for the.

year right and you get access to a pool. which is whatever and a private beach. and you could go in the water and. whenever one of the lifeguards jump down. I was like I'm a fan and I was like. thanks a lot man whatever and then uh so. I was really happy it was a it was a fun. day we're only there for a few hours you. know I'm gawking at some 18 year old. kids Scott's like this is embarrassing. he's like he's like you're being very. obvious oh well this is why they work. out. is it not why they work out but right so. you can't control if you want to be hot.

right here's the thing folks what we. we're with your hand in your pants I was. in the pool so here's the thing folks. but you could still sort of forearms. kind of floating towards your fat gut. and it's like he seems like he might be. touching himself they know I was. adjusting my gosh getting ready here's. the thing I know this may be unpopular. in a me-too world right but if you lead. with hot if you're [ __ ] hot and this. kid was in at college whatever sure like.

you can't control yes a lot of hot girls. will like you but yeah that's who's also. gonna be attracted oh yeah me no sure. sorry what why well fat woman swoon over. men like that I don't know yeah cause. like you said most gay guys whoever. similar demeanor to you yeah are as open. about you know nothing you're like a. predator predator but I could go. undercover and pretend to be straight. you could yeah I'd be like hey let's be. bros let's hang out with this sounds.

menacing well well let's be friends you. know let's start an organic friendship. because you're a young man I'm an older. man and I'd know the little bit about. the world not a lot I don't have credit. but present you do. I don't have a lot to share but that's. the thing it's like this kid gave me. kind of a weird look because I was. staring at him it's like dude don't you. get that's what this is did you have. sunglasses on were you're being calm.

down sir that's you you were just with. that looked like no glasses on nothing. you weren't even playing it cool you. were just gawking got a guy yeah I mean. no I'm wearing right at his kidney oh I. wasn't wait wait from the back. no he's a kidney in the back as it was. it's right here Wow well then he turned. around I was looking he's keep five. minutes staring at him oh you can wear. his thick V would be he was an. attractive gentleman it was a lifeguard. and I was looking at him and I don't do. that with women progressive yeah I'm.

trying to white knight in my way into a. [ __ ] yo TV show I'm saying. well that's by the way if you white. knight your way the show I will be. nothing but impress your a business. disgusting thing arises listen this fall. Tuesdays at 10:00 I've white Diane. myself into this it is a safe space how.

do you ever caught yourself looking at a. lovely lady of course but you like you. you treat it like the Sun you'll just. like stare at it for [ __ ] like. minutes on that I was getting a little I. was too much looking yeah too much. looking right and I realize that yeah I. realize that but this is the way it is. so if you're a hot guy out there you. deserve it all these hot guys take Oh. women get gorked out all the [ __ ]. time oh no you can't get cocked that. yeah maybe somebody came ahead of your.

deck that's the thing baby maybe you're. bouncing the scales I am we're doing. more than any of these meet new people I. like the way you're going yeah I license. turn this may turn around it's fair game. I like this turn yeah I think I'm doing. my part because I think men need to know. what it feels like to be ogled right by. an ogre. yeah and they're not yeah because I. wouldn't be opening otherwise there's. all these obviously attracted all my. jokes that these [ __ ] young kids do. they get on stage like you know.

gay guys hit on you it's cool and you're. always like you're always like like. yours like no matter what you're always. like you know I hope the guy likes me. like yeah that's all these you know they. it's this it's just breed of humor now. we're a good-looking guy we'll get up on. stage and talk about how how good gay. guys are very direct but whether or not. and it's a lot of people have this. similar temperature the guys are ready. you don't think that's true dude maybe. sexually direct that's what I mean okay. like if you're at a bar at a gay guy.

wants to [ __ ] you they'll go up to you. and be like hey buddy where's a woman. it's it's more of a dance yeah so this. is kind of comedy but it always assumes. usually that the gay guy is a certain. type of gay guy or whatever you know. maybe has a little money in shape guy. what about me yellow peg leg what about. me you got some type of some bean. burrito staying on your I go up to you. know my hand boys you smell like nachos. and halitosis. what is halitosis your breath your. speciality breath oh it's like a.

habitual bad breath yeah interesting I. think I I'm not saying you're not. perfumed you got that perfumed. homosexual man right well I'm not I'm. not a perfect person you don't smell. like [ __ ] nice but I think that I. think people should I think well number. what traditional masculinity is under. attack sure under attack in this country. I mean look which is why a man like. yourself or a man like myself now it's. not respected but these Zac Efron. [ __ ] are you know these pretty boys I.

feel like in the 1970s Brian Dennehy was. a man that got [ __ ] wet right do you. understand what I mean Brian Dennehy a. sex symbol I believe to an extent I mean. you know Kay my conception of history he. was cuz I was around Irish women yeah. okay yeah with when he started actor. before he was 50 I don't know okay I.

think that now I don't know anyway no. look I I feel like I'm actually in my. and the Golden Age from where I come. yeah cuz it's like I'm not so. Alfa Italian like hold on I'm gonna I. got I got a non-dairy haagen-dazs. chocolate I just got to put it in the. freezer keep going okay yeah I'm not one. of these guys who's like you know in. town I'm not just pretty disparaging the. Italians but they're more outgoing with. their uh you have masculinity and their. [ __ ] you know they'd be put on the. [ __ ] Brut whatever whatever telling.

you guys words Cologne and they go out. to the club I'm not that kind of. masculine I'm just kind of dirty and. they wear the same shirt every day and. they have psoriasis on my leg and people. at least in Brooklyn are so now on used. to seeing anyone who isn't kind of I. don't know what you call it not you know. not traditionally mad like they kind of. seem to gravitate towards me though you. know I feel like there's a certain. credence they give me that maybe I. really you know I don't have to.

demonstrate my bona fides well yeah. you're Europe you are a harkening of the. apocalypse they find you refreshing is. my point and they and as they should. yeah people that are still trying to. like I've said this many times when when. I meet somebody when they are optimistic. about the future right I think they're. mentally ill doesn't make any sense. they're mentally I'm like I don't know. what set of statistics beliefs.

I mean I'm lost and that doesn't mean. that you have to be a debbie downer I'm. a happy guy you're a happy guy I'm. enjoying having fun I'm making. synthesizer music now where you're doing. electronic music yeah it's it no one. asked for that and you've put it out. right into the world right but to me. some of our cynicism is reflected in in. it in the way that we present sure I. mean look no one is like inviting us.

into like the [ __ ] you know the 8 way. [ __ ] thing going on in the Hamptons. you know no we had work our way to sexy. we have to have a personality and we. gotta earn it but my just um if I take. my pants down its Terry as [ __ ] here. is no dick be I got Ryan I can [ __ ] yeah. I know how the [ __ ] right I got a decent. thing I feel like you've given this. to a judge be very honest I can [ __ ] I.

got a decent day I don't got a TV you. got a dick. so I'm at so we leave the beach club we. go to a restaurant go to steak house one. of my favorite Steakhouse is probably my. favorite steak house on Long Island. Jimmy Hayes oh it's great with her once. now in Island Park we go there and. everything about Jimmy Hayes is great. it just feels racist you know like and. that's what a steakhouse should feel. like you don't [ __ ] start with me. the pictures are well if it sounds.

racist only if you listen to the. conversations the pictures are on the. wall are all golfers they got great food. yeah and I'm sitting there we have a. great dinner and Scott's got two little. kids there and they're like three or. whatever they're they're holding them. together for most of the meal and then. around dessert they start to scream and. I'm like let's get out of here we can't. have dessert now Scott's of course upset. because he wants every free thing he can. get right he wants every course yeah. he's like I don't think they're that bad. I'm like spent a lot of money here - not.

here kids screaming let's [ __ ] get. out of here. we'll get him an Italian ice or whatever. right so then Scott does this which is. like I there's three you know we get a. Chateaubriand for two which is like a. porterhouse place two filet never. there's three little bits of meat left. and I go the guy goes you want to take. it home I go No. Scott's like you should take it home I. go no he goes take it home you know you. know you like steak and eggs you can. make steak and eggs the next morning I. go hey [ __ ] I'm not walking around.

with three things of me yeah in a bad. world pieces get little pieces I'm like. but sure in a car and he like doesn't. let it go yeah he's like I can't believe. he didn't take the steak huh and I'm. like dude and he got mad at me because I. said to him I'm like dude you have like. a weird poverty mentality where you're. like panicked that there won't be more. steak like there's gonna be more food.

you don't have to you don't have to hold. on to the little morsels you have like. it's the Oregon. you know what I mean yeah I mean I don't. know over the poverty because I know the. guy yeah I like the guy I like him too. grifter thing going well that's part of. it as Atticus but like to me my whole. thing is like I was never a fan of it to. go go it looks trashing it looks not. ELISA treats never good hears it then. you're bringing it home to your leg if.

you got kids were like 13 yeah nice. thing well my friends would bring. something home it was nice I still think. it looked like trash bag yeah earlier in. the evening yeah yeah and you know it. would be nice how about cooking those. kids dinner and instead of bringing them. home some but like to me the doggie bag. concept it says exactly what it is. you're a dog. no you're a dog this is important to us. yes it was a big night yes I don't want. any of this have you ever seen in a. restaurant. someone take like literally a table.

spoon full of mac and cheese yeah and. put it like the coffee cup with a little. lid over it it makes me I want to go in. shame I remember the first one the first. time you took me to roll in skis yeah. and I it was a mate it was you know it. was a great meal yeah and I remember. when I looked around go you know what's. weird is that for a lot of these people. this is just like the diner right and. like there's nothing more they eat like. every other day right and that's where. we we should be we what we used hired to. well not being like this is a lot we.

saved up we scraped napkin yeah we say a. whole year we put away pennies. we took a jar of change down we took we. turned it a bunch of cans and we end. this guy's got money he's in a house. where a brand-new car enough I'm not. [ __ ] on poor people I've been in. shitty spots where I ate I ate a wooden. bowl of baked beans and sauerkraut oh. sure when I was living in Manhattan in. that [ __ ] tenement and [ __ ] well I. will probably again mean when you were. pretending to be a victim of Sandy yes I.

was it I was a vegan. the wounds were psychological I got. 1,100 FEMA nice and all I lost was a Gin. Blossoms CD and I used to [ __ ] do. lines off of but you remember that when. I tried to I tried to claim the V victim. is handy oh yeah if you're watching. Breaking Bad the whole array I was. living in a five-story walk-up I was. living with. crazy comedians five-story walk-up I'm. on the fifth floor. I got a door I got no door I got a. curtain leads into my room we had.

bedbugs like twice three times in a year. there was a rat in the lobby the shower. was in the kitchen of the building but I. loved it cuz I was like I was 25 I was. like doing stand-up I'm like this is my. dream I love it I mean on the roof. smoking cigarettes it was all cool and. then Sandy happened and like you know. everybody I know all my friends in Long. Island her like huddled in their. driveway with guns people trying to rob. their houses I had no power for a week. you had no power for a week everybody's. [ __ ] I'm watching Breaking Bad kind of. mad that the frozen yogurt place didn't.

switch the flavors I was like oh we're. not gonna we're not gotta rotate there's. nothing new but my part in New York City. Hell's Kitchen 45th between 8th and 9th. Avenue did not lose any [ __ ] power. but then I found out that FEMA was. giving out a little cash FEMA was given. a cash so why it's smart that you never. you know you don't you're officially. change residences correct but I tried to. sing the song and they're like listen we. usually give people 35 Hans we're gonna. give you 11 hunter they smelled a little.

fraud right on me but they were kind of. it was kind of like Christmas on Long. Island it was like everyone was like you. know there was a I worked oh yeah I bet. I profited off because I remember I was. at the morgue and the county was trying. to do a scam with FEMA. this is fascinating I don't know I have. to say allegedly I guess because this is. a speculation we did but basically they. set up these different locations mostly. in schools or in town halls these FEMA I.

don't like what you call them it these. centers like these these try emergency. centers it would basically just. information you have a good you know. official insurance guys from the state. who come help you out tell you have a. [ __ ] file your claims and [ __ ] now I. the morgue report the health department. and they want like they're basically. everyone was allowed to go and work this. thing and Health Department had like. their Flyers with like you know don't. get [ __ ] black mold or whatever and. there was no cap and we were making like. a huge overtime so I would go after work.

and get like eight hours of [ __ ] like. go there for eight hours just basically. out of hand that far as if people came. but no one really came by much anything. did why were they doing it cuz the. [ __ ] County we believe was trying to. like profit cuz the state was gonna. reimburse them but for more money. it's not this Long Island they're trying. to like do CH like what pay us for like. charity whatever we're volunteer work so. they can get reimbursed for more from. the state and it backfired and it wants. all that money what people don't. understand is if America is is is.

largely not all but largely a group of. incredibly selfish dishonest people. right let's just say that's a lot of us. okay and you know one thing if that's. the case Long Island is a concentration. of that right in a way that's hard to. believe. unless you've spent any significant. amount of time there when Sandy happened. people automatically thought about how.

it could be used for their benefit okay. now some people were genuinely hurt and. their lives were destroyed right but. then there were many people a lot of. people yeah who use that for the next. seven years as an excuse look these. people you your monoi pointing this now. yeah people live their lives waiting for. their parents to die your grown people. they have their own house but their. retirement plan is their dead mother.

right and they have their own house. because they took equity out of their. mother's house down payment exactly yeah. no all right so it does something to. that that then forms the way you live. it's an entitlement that's become so. deeply ingrained in them it's cultural. right well I take cultural entitlement. in Long Island where people feel. entitled to a house right that doesn't. exist and you go anywhere. these [ __ ] feel entitled to a house. and by the way these aren't like the.

like this isn't like the Kennedys where. it's like a level of privileged backed. with education and to a degree service. or even let's say let's be cynical and. say the service is only to dominate. others it's still part of the plan yeah. this is I feel entitled to a house. simple. because I will [ __ ] out in Mercy. Hospital or NASA County Medical Center. or lij I add like I have no education I. have no marketable skills I'm a medical.

biller I'm I work at a you know I wear. doctors outfit but I'm not a doctor I'm. a [ __ ] receptionist at a massage. parlor. I worked retail jobs where like the. sister the manager but you know I got me. 50 grand a year prior yeah but like. taking [ __ ] from the boss and the boss a. millionaire. I think it's chipping the balls all the. time ago ah [ __ ] him my dad dies in like. 2030 years I'm gonna have a million. dollars and like he meant it what is. like is like this is how these people.

cope with doing nothing people openly. discuss this yeah this isn't a hidden. thing that they're waiting for their. parents to die right this is it like. swept under the rug it's right out in. front. yeah it's a big thing when I do jokes. about it people laugh yeah they get it. because you know people are some people. are more open with it than others right. but it's not it's not him um and I would. just you know sit there with Scott I. picked up the tab was expensive I no. problem with it we had everything and. then it just he said we've gotten an.

argument on the way home so I'm like. dude it's this mentality this grimy. you're clinging it like they'll be more. food right it's gonna be okay you're not. in a situation where you need every no. one is on Long Island nobody walking out. with leftover some Texas Roadhouse needs. them these are not the people that. aren't that a fight there's gonna be. more mac and cheese next week don't. worry folks you know but I'm leaving New.

York I thought I was gonna hold on to my. apartment I'm not holding on to my. apartment describe what you're looking. at you've been here by yeah I've been. here before. it looks like you're uh basically just. like 25th hour you and you're going. you're going to the penitentiary. tomorrow and you're just kind of. settling your affairs and like actually. looks like the place where Brooks hung. himself in Shawshank does that kind of. place it's like I don't know the. radiators from the is from the before.

the depression the doors are like school. door. you know weird school doors that have. like glass in their wood and glass but. it's a type of glass we can't really see. in know yeah they look like you're. broken down when he's like a Japanese. family lived here during the War World. War two and I moved to LA already but I. thought I was just gonna keep this. apartment cause I was gonna come back to. New York a lot and then I just made the. decision I'm kind of done yeah you look. you like you you you value uh maybe to a. fault even yeah a lack of hassle right.

this place is kind of like a-- but it's. for many reasons a depressing place. don't obey your head what happens to me. is a lack of hassle becomes hassle right. that's a lot look that is part of the. game okay like how many friendships do I. have that you've rightly pointed out. right I get something out of it yeah but. the insanity that comes with it right is. so far outweighs and then I realize that. this epiphany I'm like oh I'm not even. like a smart player I just I'm addicted.

to insanity. well here's the thing are you just kind. of like crazy yeah because you like the. people you I don't think you say his. name on the air but like you know that. your friend from the mortgage place. whatever Howie Howie yeah well you do. like you look up to the you're not. booked up right you value these people. but these like you actually have you're. intelligent you have talent you're. succeeding at something else these. people who keep all these balls in the. air it's because they're living in like. the day-to-day hustle and that's all.

they have right and that's like that's. like there's a certain thing to admire. there but like why do I like them. because you have a romantic view of like. you know like the cantine street urchins. and Vitus you know and like you know the. confederacy of dunces and you view like. you view you like low-level hustlers. right but you know you also weren't. hanging around st. Mark's getting. stamped all the time by them uh I feel.

like yeah you grew up you want the old. New York and you and you like where they. represent because the alternative is. disgusting also crack it me really is. gross if nothing else they help clean. out some of the uh you know these. gentrifying idiot me I'm terrified too I. guess for the except we will ever point. is you're not chant refine your DJ at. your fine. you the prices go down I think if I. shouldn't feel bad you did not feel out. but I'm counteracting absolutely like. myself no but that's the problem you and. you're not they're not these like you. know these guys aren't written by.

Gilbert and some of them there's. something about this is they're actually. like stupid low-level people are boring. the hustle is actually kind of boring. well you're what I've started to realize. that I was so good a friend of mine. recently I won't say their name and I. was talking to her and I realized I was. going you know what for for all the. madness that these people bring into my. life that a lot of is very funny. a lot of is very it's never boring it's. very funny but here's the thing you just. kind of hit the nail on the head it does.

start to get boring but it actually does. start to because you realize these. people never evolved on in any way and. oh they're a lot of them are just deeply. selfish people right who are afraid to. grow and evolve so what they do is they. have these crazy lives and they have the. and they populate their lives with crazy. characters but at the end of the day.

it's just a [ __ ] excuse to never. account for their own behavior that's. what it is yeah that's really what it is. all right yeah no it's like I mean you. see these are the same people you. probably hung out with who are you know. whose kids were you know on Easter. Sunday [ __ ] you know it's a joke I. have in my Akron or I'd go to a bar and. Easter Sunday and you know I don't want. to get my joke away but whatever it's. all over so it is you know well you know. the moms in the bar getting drunk right. point is like it all seems fun in a joke. right like when you actually know that.

person it's just sad and also like get. you never it's like when you gonna get. your act together because that's the. feeling of like how many times do you. tell someone there's something I liked. about the freedom now I will be on I. still like about people that resist. convention and there was something about. a lot of the people that I knew in that. period and a lot of them were drunks and. a lot of them were not but they're you. know you you look at some of the people. that I'm around now in the entertainment. business and like the cognitive.

dissonance some of them. okay like they're the good guys you know. right they're really they're the. revolute they're the resistance and you. know and then you look at their lives. and you go oh you're you're you're. you're doing the exact same things as. all the people that you hate really I. mean literally the stories there's no. one to look up to there's right Robert. ruler. yeah actually I'm service I mean every. senator I love you watching his [ __ ]. hearing now what was that like every. caught me it was just it's not what he. said he was good he was good I mean I.

can't into that I want to elaborate read. the report yeah how'd you bring me here. right but also everyone every [ __ ]. congressman was like thank you for. serving in Vietnam what you know he's. just [ __ ] like you he torched some. village and like [ __ ] yes Dave aren't. these the people that were rightly. against Vietnam aren't these the people. that didn't want Vietnam he actually I. was reading mr. Muller you know 20 years. of the black thank you for your service. at Guantanamo Bay now tell us about he. was I was reading saying he was in the. Marine Corps in Vietnam there for a year.

told his wife I'm thinking about staying. to hold this forever and she's like what. and then they transferred him to like a. desk job and he like quickly his quote. was I didn't relish the Marine Corps. absent combat this guy just liked. killing [ __ ] peasants god I didn't I. didn't relish the Marine Corps absent my. boot on somebody's neck nice folks we. have talked endlessly about the.

importance of having a website on this. show I think I've moved many of you to. understand why you need to have a. website even in a world that is rapidly. collapsing you know in no time we will. probably have massive civil unrest we. will have certainly climate emergencies.

probably more disasters climate change. things like that we'll probably have a. crisis in the legitimacy of the. government and ruling institutions I. can't. see how we won't. perhaps a separation of the military and. the political structure I don't again. I'm just looking at some of the signs I. mean this could potentially not happen. as well I don't know you might see a.

total takeover of all available. platforms by a technocracy where. everything you say becomes some type of. advertisement for something and we're. all just selling each other things I. don't know maybe that's preferable I. don't know and I don't care all I want. for all of you is to have a place to put.

your content so that people can see it. go to Tim Dylan's going to hell comm TI. m di ll ons going to hell calm there is. no is just the s Dylan's going to hell. it was a site built using Wix Wix is. really amazing so many stunning. templates they are stunning automated. drag-and-drop website builder very easy.

to use even if you're not that bright. and I assume many of you or not they. have an artificial design intelligence. Wix Adi. that's what andrew yang is talking about. so you don't have to do anything you can. just answer a few simple questions and. Wix is going to design your website for. you so even in this time of potential. chaos of devolution we must think about.

being on brand it's very important that. we stay on brand through the apocalypse. how to do that have a web site where you. can embed video text links telling you. nobody will be helped in an end time. scenario by people that do not. have a well-defined brand you get it.

people want hard lines around you they. want to know that you are a fully. fleshed out thing they could look and. listen and go we get it that's essential. even in a time when small groups of. people are fighting over resources you. should be a well defined brand people. need to know what they what they're. getting okay so do me a favor.

go to Tim Dylan's going to hell dot-com. Wix will give you 10% off any premium. plan over 150 million people have built. their website using Wix Tim Dylan's. going to hell calm Wix will give you 10%. off any premium plan I mean you know. what did you say about the 911 thing. that was fun bring Nana well he look he. took the job of FBI director the week.

before 9/11 and he retired a few months. after the Boston bombing. it's crazy nicely bookend and yeah I. don't know if the FBI really dimming. that wrong in the ensuing years I mean. you know when were they involved in. renditions in secret or I mean I think I. would all word say my default is forced. and of course they were right I mean. like that's the thing look he seems to. have done a relatively professional job.

but you're losing sight of the fact. you've brain the FBI pretend yeah he's. one of the most corrupt organizations. I've ever seen well what we're living in. upside-down topsy-turvy world where we. have Bush torture era apologists on. MSNBC and we have you know Ann Coulter. on you know like siding with Infowars. now it's like it's really it nothing. means anything right nobody has any. values nobody cares. right about we you know what their.

entire worldview was six months ago you. know it's a constantly churning and the. thing with the Muller investigation to. me is. it we're no longer watching the movie. like for lack of a better way to like. explain things right that movie's over. yeah and we're not watching anymore. sure Twitter's watching it right uh uh. uh you know the blue checkmarks that. they're still heavily invested in it the. idea that you could maybe get trump on.

obstruction when the Seoul Central case. that you cannot prove that him or his. team conspired directly with them it's. not proven well I think here's the thing. and this is usually contentious he. wouldn't answer it and he's true I think. he's preserved from preserve the. evidence for after Trump leaves office. when they can actually charge them. because he's very much seems to be of. the opinion will not leave my keys gonna. die in office and then Ivanka will take. over and we're talking maybe twenty. thirty that sounds fun but he's like.

he's buggin because he's he's I think he. there's that whole Justice Department. think well you can't charge of sitting. President Andrew Dice isn't pregnant and. so he's kind of sticking to that so I. don't think he's saying that you. couldn't get him on obstruction I think. he's just saying I'm not allowed to get. my obstruction but after we Lou but he's. not trying to try not to [ __ ] yet I. guess this is a big deal if you weren't. really but you lost here's the thing I. believe he did a lot of stuff wrong yeah. I believe I don't know if he concluded. clue you on purpose but the way if you.

didn't think Trump was a criminal I. guess this is good for you right the way. he acted that's the fact I mean clearly. on the surface if it's not some. obstruction of justice. it might as well but it's like it's not. becoming of anything deliver public that. being said politically speaking you lost. and now you just know these Democrats. have no sense of how they're appearing. to the other side it'll bug to me well. like it's also the idea that like there. are there are issues to run on yeah. there are issues to run on you have a.

guy that has not really fulfilled any of. his campaign promises you have a broken. health care system do you think that the. kemal Harry should say I'm gonna really. [ __ ] build this wall well I'm gonna. [ __ ] build an even bigger I think if. Democrats continue to run on that open. borders and that there is that they're. gonna provide health care for anybody. who comes to the country illegally right. and that every. every did all that any kind of migration. is Asylum seeking which is just is not.

the case and if the standard for solemn. seeking is that you're coming from a. violent place. that's everywhere in the world that's so. many places sure that's literally. billions a to be fair yeah uh we like. these places are kind of [ __ ] up and I. love that every case necessarily but. like he's because of uh you know I a. hundred percent over their [ __ ] you. know listen now I am with you a hundred. percent right and if somebody would like. to tell me how to unwind the. military-industrial complex right I will.

I mean within reason sure I would listen. Tulsi has some good ideas I think maybe. I'll support Bernie because he's the. only one that's not on a conga line with. Jeffrey Epstein. that's nice or the restaurant supporting. him no I mean Trump Clinton they've. already a party is something nice about. one guy that's not do you think it's. kind of like when the drug kingpin goes. away his turf is up for grabs. like when with Epstein like the other.

elite pedophiles are like vying for his. kids. well well these kids are adults now well. he's been [ __ ] he was [ __ ] under. this eerie bow that's true these people. in the doctor says kids have one-woman. shows that a big we positively mean dude. I've seen kids. I don't know how AB C goes down I do. think that it has a potential to be a. big scandal I do think you're gonna see. a lot of boldface names and I do think. what will happen unfortunately is you're. gonna see so many boldface names people. are gonna it's gonna have the opposite.

effect where people are gonna be like. they all can't be doing this right and. yes they can but I think that is gonna. make people go you know I'm sure some of. them were some of them weren't like. there's this great thing that the media. is doing already where they're focusing. on Trump and Clinton right reps team. Trump and Clinton which we were wrong. two years ago everybody was on the mall. and and come to everybody else and why. doing that people are at home being like. well it's a wash job clay and it's like.

no it not only is it not a what it is. nothing to do like Bill Maher. would talk about that years ago. something else he goes like the. Republicans are really good at like it's. a wash right where it's like you know. they do the Swift Boat Veterans in them. like it's a wash yeah whatever it's like. no it's not a watch once I didn't show. up for the surface one guy went served. Facebook yeah yeah it's evil but the. greatest move every it's one of the.

greatest political stunts for the Swift. Boat Veterans why don't you respect this. country why don't you why aren't you. hopeful for the future of this country I. mean guys the swift lift the good name. the Swift Boat Veterans for explain this. briefly right all right so basically. John Kerry is like this is the what the.

old for election yeah. after the Iraq war started you guys both. and scallop bounds yeah george w bush. toured the Iraq war everyone's man. that's right and Carrie's gonna run and. the Democrats are all afraid cuz you. know no one's got a war record and. you're all gonna say you're soft on. defense because 9/11 still thing right. so Kerry's like hey [ __ ] you I was in. Vietnam there was this whole thing I. served in Vietnam I was a commander over. Swift or whatever and you know and like. I I [ __ ] served my country. and so you can't you change her and Punk. me out so they had a problem right but.

karl rove is a you know a wily guy so he. [ __ ] gets these guys he started. organization what gets these guys to. start your organization called Swift. Boat Veterans for truth and now I think. in actuality knows him served with Kerry. none of them knew Kerry I'm not sure if. they were in the military but their. story was that they served with Kerry. and his story he had a story about like. saving someone over Swift Boat yeah and. like jumping on a grenade. one of them's on Infowars all the time I. forget and they just [ __ ] and they. just hammered him they [ __ ] went out.

there none of it was true a [ __ ] guy. we saw him he ran away he actually threw. a grenade at the scible troops he was. there working for Charlie he was there. work yeah. so they torn apart of the guy and he. loses the election which I fell for that. like I was in that mindset of like. falling for that when I was. younger because liberals are so annoying. is people right that day they turn you.

off on a level where even if they're. right right you're reluctant what sort. of thing of like george w bush is a. [ __ ] like he wasn't the right guy right. objectively but like it's just never. it's never does never any nuance to it. is ready no i really think this guy is a. complete imbecile now and the idea is. that the people that were saying that. were never people that that i looked at. it like it was always like oh forgot a. deli so i'm got his [ __ ] me a. sandwich. they liked bush but it was always with.

some other it's a public school teacher. where it's like oh great okay thank you. what do you do hand out folders um but. it's a time now where you know when you. look at the FC news and we've had a lot. of first of all i think it's kind of. hilarious and let's even though I like. these guys I loved it like you know. we've had rust paper on the show we had. Nick Bryan on the show I don't like. Brian's name in the news well now yeah. he's break this story but this is my. point okay this is my point okay these.

two guys that we've had on this [ __ ]. show act like nothing can ever get to. the level of winner and then this Julie. K Brown at the Miami Herald breaks this. thing wide open. where are these two right where are they. you know now Nick Bryant was on the. story a long time ago that's great right. and he probably got described now there. is this moment in the media bakery he. had that seems black book yeah and he. leaked it to Gawker okay this is before. or after this whole thing before years. ago okay Baker talk about this ones.

because there's a moment in every story. when it's okay and then all the media. like the dam breaks and the media's. allowed to go after it now we're in that. moment you know I think it's just kind. of hilarious now they're like all these. your business insiders like is to what. is this temple on his island and is this. door meant to keep people in it it's not. it's just painted that way but like I. love like it's hilarity linton being. like I was never on the pedophile it. reminds me of the whole thing with the. we started getting into this whole child. yeah beginning to you researching it.

yeah and like they put the [ __ ] the. goat head on right it's like your. [ __ ] kids isn't that enough right. these people like and like but people. get like wrapped up in the inner. Satanism of it no he's [ __ ] kids. right matter if there's a temple on this. [ __ ] oh she [ __ ] is he chanting while. he's suffering is [ __ ] [ __ ] with. eight-year-olds ass I think what it is. is there's a an element of it that when. you start to include that other stuff.

for whatever reason is so like it's so. it's such a paradigm shift right that it. starts to break down any well they could. cope with a Hasker for instance like. this Hasker with speaker to have a. majority leader or think Speaker of the. House and he has two convicted pedophile. and he might be still in jail I'm not. sure yeah I mean no one did not but like. but the idea that there's like an. underground uh like you know Society or.

like a secret you know skullenbones of. pedophiles well it captivates the idea. that you know and this has been said I. forget whose quote this was that you. know the ruling classes yet it's like. they're into things that are were you. know worse than if they I think somebody. reviewing Nick Brian's book said if this. stuff is true. well it's that certain members of the. ruling class were in this stuff that's. worse than you know Caligula's dream. like well really depraved stuff and I. think you know when you get into that. stuff whether it's MKULTRA whether it's.

mind control whether it's ritual a beaut. what when you start to read about that. stuff it's so [ __ ] it's like opening a. door into literal hell right and then. you go oh none of this can be true and. then you start realizing oh no a lot. like oh yeah enough of it is true at. least thing I like boats I like nice. shrimp yeah but that being said you look. at how hard to me some of them inherit. the money but like rich people was like. your ass off and then do like devote.

their lives this collection of resources. it can't all be for shrimp right you. know right that there's a reason some of. these people are [ __ ] making these. yeah one of my favorite things you've. ever said was do you think we're not. successful because we're not pedophiles. that was that was that was maybe the one. of the. things you've ever said on the show you. were like you were like maybe this is. why things aren't working out for its. guy look I was I wouldn't trade places. with the pedophile yeah but I give you a. drive sure. do you think they go down here does.

Clinton go dad. no no I think I think Epstein you know. they're pinning this on a low level. senator you know somebody some. congressmen and it's gonna be like from. a state that some irrelevant guy who. felt up somebody probably didn't even. come is going down right somebody the. guy holding the camera yeah the guy he. didn't even make it to the island right. he prematurely ejaculated on a bond on. the boat or on a raft Oliver he's really.

good a 17 year old lady doing without. he's like the [ __ ] yachts yeah yeah I. mean here's the thing I think if it is. if it is Trump and [ __ ] uh Clinton. [ __ ] children on an island yeah then. that's really what happened we're like. he's like okay sorry it says possible. Clinton was just [ __ ] [ __ ] on the. island or never I mean no all right fair. enough. but my point is I'm saying if it was.

here's piers great point yeah Clinton. could [ __ ] [ __ ] anywhere like there is. this fair now there is this idea listen. no fair enough right my point is if. that's what's going on. you only Epstein knows he's gonna get. [ __ ] whacked yeah I've been he can't. get this I have seen in a very secured. jail that I actually we went and stood. outside of it because we're gonna film a. scene outside of it when I was dressed. up like that girl and I was grinding on. his front door um all right then then. what three has spent the rest of his. life in the [ __ ] in the hole because he.

can't go anywhere Hey ladies n't want. that so he's gonna [ __ ] play ball or a. certain extent he's not gonna flip on. that kind of [ __ ] right like what so he. can get off and then what well like. what's what's gonna I mean I would be. what just Lane Maxwell who's his partner. mmm I know I don't know what she knows. probably a lot right she was kind of. recruiting these girls just Lane Bryant. yeah she I don't think no it's not Lane. Bryant. was a fat woman go no don't.

cyrodiil no that's less waxed er okay. I've seen all his money and and and and. and AB C's hedge funds probably just Lex. Westers money and a slush fund and. whatever I said was probably washing. dark money and then you were like yeah. but they have that kind of money they. don't really need human trafficking. money and I'm like yeah but why leave it. on the table they're gonna say no it's. big money you know sure um I think and. it's so funny like Acosta literally has. been quoted as saying I was told Epstein.

belonged to intelligence not to worry. about not to push to prot you know who. the console again he was the Secretary. of Labor he's the one that cut Epstein. that sweetheart but it's so funny how he. goes yeah I belong to a child and it's. like when will you people kind of wake. up here when what what would do it so. when your defense is like I thought he. was [ __ ] these kids were letting. people [ __ ] these kids so we could find. out secrets about Cuba we I thought he.

belong to Intel it's like well then what. well then why isn't that a problem. what's the deal I mean look the CIA is. definitely yeah we we for business. countless hours yeah I mean look I mean. he probably what look you you think you. think that he would been caught decades. ago if it wasn't for like if do you. think that people are protecting him. listen I flip information the technology. is the internet things like that have. made it had made it more difficult I. think. victims are now able to find each other.

where I were able to corroborate you. know they're people are the people are. empowered now in ways that they would. not have been years ago right but if he. has that right look we don't CIA you. need to tell just agencies could be. don't hang people out to try to hang. their people of course they won't but. hit my point we know they engage in. their own sexual blackmail yeah so if. they got this guy who is running a. network to like some of the most. powerful people in the world yeah. they're gonna tap into my go hey we want. peace we want some and you gotta keep me. in the game of course so you know and.

what's interesting is that you know the. FBI know are good people in some of. these organizations and I mean good in a. relative sense good like they're against. [ __ ] kids they're not really against. you know throwing people in jail for no. reason right you know I mean so it's. good. let's use good or not you know let's let. the Anglin doesn't support pedophiles. but right it's like but pyramids I love. the eye angle that that Abu Ghraib. soldiers come out to condemn Epstein for.

the country we were doing it for the. country I mean look it didn't seymour. hersh have a [ __ ] he was saying that. they were [ __ ] kids seymour hersh. they said that they have a videotape of. children being sodomized or raped by i. don't know defense contract members of. the military somebody and then it's and. the same yeah and abu ghraib and their. screams and shrieks and the the military.

was paranoid these these tapes were. gonna get out in those tapes where i. guess to get the parents of the kids or. something to talk I mean have you just. what happened to like drugs I mean what. ok the sixties they had what was that. this is when my quality at a lunch and. somebody's like well you know America is. probably gonna fall apart I'm like yeah. you know you know I listen I don't what. I'm not tryna I'm not saying it I don't. want any harm to come to you or your. family but like man have if any of this.

[ __ ] is true we have the seeds of our. destruction. do you think it is them just being evil. and trying and like wars it's a. pedophile going again talk [ __ ] this kid. and like you know I mean like was that. gonna work yeah trust me yeah like they. just hire some pedophile he's like. listen you [ __ ] people are amateurs. here's what has to be done there's no. other way that anyone's gonna talk yeah. I think whole thing would like the. [ __ ] with the monarch program really.

really big [ __ ] Kaizen so like this is. so see anything yeah it's like how many. times you have a [ __ ] kid before. becomes an assassin yeah what horrible. [ __ ] to laugh at folks but we're you. know we're living in hell I've said that. before I don't know what you want I mean. I'm glad I'm out of New York I'm glad. I'm leaving New York what what are your. feelings on New York as it is right now. I'm ready I'm ready to go um look if you.

got money which I don't yeah it's it's. nice I mean I would like to go someplace. where I can [ __ ] the swing an axe. yeah we'd go fishing yeah shoot some. true shotgun in the air for no reason. yeah yo Montana maybe or when let me ask. you yeah is that arre when do you think. you can make that a reality. um Montana I think is being co-opted by. the rich so I guess that's not gonna be. great but buying a lot of land in. Montana well we might look if I was. willing to like live in a humid place on.

Louisiana are you know when are you. gonna be done with the Brooklyn thing I. mean I work in like media stuff so I. mean if it's not Brooklyn maybe it's. Laurie sobbing I mean I am starting to. get into more like you know color work. which is like you know lucrative so yeah. maybe I can kind of change my quality of. life in a couple years like you're tied. down I'm tied down into like a major. city I go that way. I got a Leawood maybe I should write. with know my roommates coming and.

congratulate them semi-finals Oh Allan. congratulations I heard the good news. it's this it's the quarter-finals. semi-finals you better congratulations. and if you win what do you get a. thousand bucks. it's all happening thousand dollars. that's this is this is this is New York. as a New York is your dream fast rake. open the champagne by the night look. there's nothing here I don't know why. this restaurants like what.

here's think you go and you live in like. a [ __ ] in place with a lake you can. go in a kayak and if you look along Long. Island right you can okay yakking fish. in I mean there's nice things there yeah. it's like yeah we're gonna forward that. so they have that in like Michigan maybe. see a magical live in Michigan like what. kind of job I should become a trucker. maybe I mean that's job is gonna go. everyone says that's gonna get any gangs. all about yeah they're all they're all. saying but if maybe they showed a photo. of you as one of the truckers who was.

losing their job right America would go. good you mr. robot they would be like. you know put AI in that vehicle right. and this guy should get no universal. basic income. running over with the truck what kind of. money do you need to live in this city. where it's not like annoying that's. nothing that what I have several hundred. thousand four hundred even if you have. 150 you have a nicer place now you need. listen you need real money and you you. got listen really the New York Life not.

to sound like a rich [ __ ] yeah it is. that finance guy life of hey you have. your beach house on Long Island you have. your nice apartment in Tribeca or. wherever you know you [ __ ] what you want. as long as they want it to consent. matters your you eat the best [ __ ] your. you used to have that [ __ ] st. marks. a [ __ ] Lower East Side none of it. it's not of it and that but that is. because the [ __ ] city was going. bankrupt and sorry about the tripping. and so orders you can come live here and. that's you know once that ended you know.

there's just I mean comedy now it's. embarrassing it's exhausting when you're. obedient it'll do it and behind people. who've no I'm a comedian there let's go. great why do you think this book if they. saw me and think oh you were from the. guy fair enough. right but - oh you mean that's great. it's like every third [ __ ] person you. mean Brooklyn is a goddamn comedian yeah. you're all terrible yeah you're all I. know these kids are these are all. [ __ ] theater kids yes yes grown up. and it's just know none of them were. [ __ ] even a funny person in their friend.

group no they're all theater kids. there's a real theater kid energy which. is very supportive a comedian tries to. be kind of cutthroat you had to get good. yeah it's a different kind of energy you. know when I started people wouldn't talk. to you if you bomb that mics it was kind. of you know brutal right theater kid. energy is like we all love each other. and we're the best and and by the way. that's not real theater energy theater. kidding no real theater is exactly what. comedy was cutthroat ileana be good yeah. tough you whatever well but theater kid. energy like high school theater program.

in your [ __ ] suburbs is what we have. now it is an ultra supportive circle. jerk and the industry is just feeding. into it. well I look people go through PC it's. not that it's not even that it's not. even that just a big nothing. it's a glorification of just losers yeah. a lot of people you meet in the industry. you're like you were you. you walked her out of high school with. no confidence and you shouldn't have any. now that's the problem I mean even the. people have some sort of like I was.

holding with Dina over the weekend yeah. Dina she's great I support her in the. idea of trailing a comic is insane right. but these people like this guy I'm all. cool people going after this guy who's. like it's comic right who [ __ ] went. you know yeah whatever but this guy look. host a game show on Netflix right but. this is what does it become. yes he knows right he's all posts like. you know collapse none of it yet none of.

it matters right where we're walking. around in the ruins you know and trying. to find meaning and it's just like I. look at it now like I love making people. laugh I love doing this on whatever. level I can do it for whoever wants to. come out and see it but the culture is. disgust it's terrible I mean like this. there yeah on an individual level. there's some good people I've met I. don't keep up with you many of them but. like as a whole like the idea of when we.

go with like so some party in a bar for. some comedians birthday and so it's just. I guess it feels gross you know you know. I performed at a comedy club I won't say. which one one of our major fans very big. fan she gave me a tour of the city I was. in and she brought you up she's one of. your patreon subscribers she's oh man of. you. she thinks Lucy's very smart and and as. soon as any was that plugged into our. lives I'm like nervous I'm like what's. happened right but she took me to lunch. she drove me around it and you know it. was very funny she goes you know I'd.

never been to that Club and the club by. the way I might McGee any specific. comment about the club because his club. is literally every club for the most. part other than like five of them she. just looked at me after which she goes. it's kind of sad in there it's kind of. sad yeah and and it's like it these. Midwest clubs and Northeast it's not the. region but a lot of comedy clubs there. they look like they're from the 80s a. guy will get up who's featuring for you. and like are a cheap blazer and he'll do.

like 80s jokes then he'll sit down a. complainer but like these fun. can YouTube guys to take it everything. from me and it's like sir sir sir. you know you're the host will be some. you know chubby chick who's like I'm. thinking of moving to New York I'm like. oh good how old do you she's like 38. it's like wow it's it's a broken world. I mean honestly there's a lot of. talented people out there wait wait more.

talented now I'm not being a hater or. anything but it's just like there's a. handful of people who I think are. actually even do anything this like even. kind of like you know relevant or kind. of like like matters like like it makes. any kind of like shaking the webs off of. any like yeah. Carlin Pryor wow the exceptional guys. but mean yeah sort of like guys like you. know your grade in [ __ ] what's his. name Doug Stanhope my bigger problem I. place yeah everyone's just kind of I. don't know it's the problem is.

everything so viscerally they're in. front of you in this society now like. everything it's all [ __ ] like you. know chaos all the time that's like I. think the whole thing is we're in this. era and we don't really know we haven't. made that jump yeah cuz the gatekeepers. still have a little bit of relevance. yeah even though that's diminishing. every day right by the way I don't I'm. not I'm not optimistic per se in a world. without the gatekeepers like everyone. right I'll go out to dinner and. somebody's like well now that people can. decide I'm like oh god helpless yeah god.

help us the people people get people. people act like commuters go on forever. indefinitely and it's like jazz was big. in the 40s right right and then like. it's a client in the 60s you could see. more jazz that you can now the seventies. EA but event like now you have a couple. places you can see good jazz like it. right around right I'll have comedy but. the idea that like basically like so. that we had the boom in the 80s right. yeah it's a trajectory it goes up and. down but the general work is gonna be. like what's also listen I hate to say it.

it doesn't necessarily make me happy but. the future is really gonna predominantly. be digital yeah the future is gonna be. watching things that excite you about. people and then maybe going out to see. them live but the whole idea of. comedians getting festivals and late. nights right that doesn't mean like that. paradigm of it yeah it's funny people. yeah that is yeah that is done Trump.

gets out there says whatever the [ __ ] he. wants he's the president. the idea that very stilted scripted in. some cases predictable formulaic jokes. are gonna are gonna be the thing right. no that's why podcasts are people are. into it that's what people are into like. I just but to me it's like there's a. real desperation and clinginess and it's. always unattractive to be somebody who's. clinging to the past especially when. that pass is like a sad Midwest comedy. club where you get up there with a suit.

jacket and tell garbage jokes it's like. you're not doing anything I think part. of the problem is that kind of all art. conformed to this I think Kanye's kind. of thing when people there's podcast and. stuff people listen to it and like some. people just enjoy and then we've always. offered that way yeah enjoy something. like that that's the perfect way to be. but like so many people go I want to do. this now and it's just so fulfilling. cycle of like it's just everyone this. whole society everyone wants it to be. them yeah they want to be the person. yeah and like no one and so everyone's.

just doing is kind of like you know okay. but some people are born for this some. people are born to be [ __ ] great this. and like but a lot of people just aren't. there just waylaying like you know some. better development there and I mean. listen I'll tell you this if you want to. be in comedy stay away from people that. support you without a reason right if. you are and this is probably goes for. anything but if you're getting a lot of. support for no damn reason yeah you need.

to look at who those people are and and. you know what's the thing you said yeah. unfunny people stick together like them. are kind of funny people stick together. like the Mafia used to you know the. Mafia no longer does those guys rat to. get out of jail they all go they go on. YouTube they start doing podcast I've. been watching on YouTube and that comedy. so I'm watching a lot of a prison talk. yeah these guys fresh out of prisons big. hurt yeah and there's one video about. how he has fat rat on who's a guy and.

Mike. I don't he wasn't a rat dose or. otherwise his name but basically that. these prisons even are all are turning. into all CI so and all like rats and the. garden he he goes just want is he gets. transferred to prison and the guys in. the guards like hey look. eighty percent my guys are rats if you. [ __ ] start trying start [ __ ] with. them you know what I ain't gonna have it. and he's like it's just a new reality. yeah. just everyone everyone's a rat. everybody's a rat yeah well I mean. there's no benefit to not being a rat. yeah we've we've created a society like.

that is I think Cornel West was talking. about it on Rogan where it's like your. honor and character I mean could. anything could anything like I mean you. know we've created an image society with. the image of what people you know you. put forward an image it may or may not. be true right and but that's my thing. that's why I'm kind of I'm glad to get. out of the culture of comedy how long. have we done well of seven okay we're. wrapping it up but the the I'm glad. something about LA I like there's a.

culture there that I gravitate to more. people seem to be individuals even. though there's a lot of support yeah. people support each other there there. seems to be it's lonelier there right. it's different than you feel it goes. through you'll still each other out if. you have to well I don't know about that. she that's City you would never have to. there's that there's that romanticized. idea of like oh if you were cutthroat. you could it's not even that point it's. really not even that well what it is is. it's the final leg of the trip and.

you'll walk it alone you'll walk the. final plank alone out there yeah and if. it's ends in act like a lot of these. [ __ ] in New York everything's. together and if they walk at a club with. nine other peope you know so is it most. people who started in New York or. Chicago or something yeah some people. started there I mean right definitely. mostly like the opposite I think there's. a lot of transplants we I don't know. okay but it seems to be and I wasn't.

shooting on the Midwest you know it's. they listen every comedy club older. comedy club has the same aesthetic yeah. and it just feels you know a little past. its prime and the P. all that are a you know it's like no. longer like when people start bitching. about all these YouTube guy. it's like dude some of them are more. interesting and entertaining I mean look.

I don't know what to tell you. well what was that thing the [ __ ] force. 10 or whatever name tag team 10 I mean. look I even watched their stuff but I. watch guys who like do historical you. know medieval battle arena yeah well. that's what they do in riot team 10 they. do historical battle reenactments it's. the same thing are they just Civil War. reenactments in West Hollywood if the. one [ __ ] is my point. thanks for [ __ ] hurtin my [ __ ]. point I'm doing a podcast with him soon. Logan Paul by the way I'm excited really. yeah but I don't want to say how and. when okay the point is just be the bar.

the dead body he finds listen I would I. would and this is the problem these. people in there you know need to be that. dead body yeah playing your [ __ ]. position it's a great point play your. position. some of these [ __ ] running out here. their lot you know like some guy said to. me in a green room recently goes it's. not about 2 and TV anymore it's about. doing the right TV and I'm like what. sure. can you stop living in the world of. these cliche like think lik like sir.

we're living in the ruins what do you. not get it's over bad baby is a. millionaire the president is that baby. the girl who said oh she's a star yeah a. Donald Trump is the president Jersey. Shore is back for another go and it's. one of the highest-rated show are you.

really sitting here looking to try to. make sense out of the climate what's the. right TV cam oh I mean at this point the. right TV is running around with an ar-15. because that's the only way you're gonna. get press you think I should weigh I. mean you would be interesting and I. think you should visit you think yeah. you think I would thrive out there well. of course if I if I transform myself if. I didn't true here's me.

would like about yeah here's what you. would like about it I think there's no. like this this community like there's a. community of the Comedy Store right okay. uh and and and there's a community in. the but the City of LA so vast so large. it's very hard you you you you really. have to be okay not being able to just.

meet up with people immediately you have. to make plans with people you know you. know I think that you might like that. there's no [ __ ] community hmm it's. just kind of it is what it is yeah and. there are people out everybody's trying. to do something out there yeah but it. just doesn't lend itself something like. the social I mean people people people. like me but never liked it and they're. like what is a soul assist LA that gives.

New York a little bits of soul right. even that community valid or not there's. a soulful quality to what they're trying. to recreate their family yeah there's. not created you know but it's they're. trying to approximate something they. read about or saw on a documentary right. la is really not trying to do that. they're not trying to do that you know. it's just you know pedal to the metal. unless they put french fries in the.

burritos right I mean they do that in. San Diego but you can get a California. burrito in LA - oh yeah when I moved. somebody texted me welcome to hell. it was like it's the leis oh yeah it's. the desert not it's the last leg of the. journey and it's a litter you know what. I mean and I it's time to go it's time. to you know time to make the last leg of. the journey and it's like you know. whatever happens happens and uh you know. I don't what were you miss what were the.

few things you'll actually miss and I. know don't say your family my last. episode was called cancel your family oh. yeah of course. mostly I'm assuming restaurants probably. rendazzo walked around I. I will miss restaurants I'll miss places. like rendazzo but I walked around this. area Astoria yesterday and the amount of. diversity and the amount of diverse. people in different stages of pain. walking around you know there that is.

raw yeah and you're connected to that. and you're connected to the feeling that. you and these people share to an extent. this community or this experience and. and there's something really interesting. about that and of all the places that. I've lived too but I mean I've lived in. Long Island and a bunch of different. places in the city this part of Queens.

has more of the old New York right then. really any part of Manhattan and most. parts of Brooklyn unless you really go. out to like Brighton Beach or whatever. yeah and I will miss that I mean I. bought a belt for $12 and it was just a. nice belt wear a nice leather belt right. up the block and some you know some guys. selling shoes and belts and the shoes. are in a bin and then somebody's got to. be all over his body and give it to you. know it was just a belt like that. I'll miss LA to get to that store that's.

a two blocks from my house here in LA to. get to that store two 30-minute Oberer. or and the belts 90 baht like there's. something about so let me ask you cos. like you know look we're talking before. but like st. Maarten over we saw how it. used to be like I always remember these. are movies and stuff Hollywood like. sunset bull lady had like that same kind. of grimy vibe and some is that gone to. in LA or that's so bare I mean I don't. know I think those parts la seem like.

Disney World. okay I mean I don't know to an extent I. mean there's no more hustlers and like. Panama and scammers la history is never. as vibrant as it was in New York right I. mean even though New York is very. forward-thinking place New York's. history is so rich so textured la. history's movie history which fades that. just fades right but I would think you. would think like the street urchins and. the Predators and the hustlers you got a.

lot of people coming in all the time. they'd be part of this Hollywood machine. so they're [ __ ] good marks you know. keep the machine going I mean the. hustlers and the street urchins and the. truly dishonest contemptible morally. bankrupt people are all sitting in. offices with suits if you're just. stabbing people there's a limit to the. damage you can do where can people find. you you can find me my podcast is called. Kampf I also have a new podcast with.

Lucy Steiner our love is disgusting I. both available anywhere on iTunes or. whatever the [ __ ] anywhere you get. your cash yes follow me on Twitter. Instagram a trake umph yeah that's great. very good folks I will be if you care I. will be at American comedy company in. San Diego August 1st through the 3rd. August 4th I'm going down to Charlotte. comedy zone then I'm gonna be at Zanies. in Nashville the stardome in Hoover.

Alabama and stand-up live in Huntsville. Alabama I'm it's a good run August 5th. through the a 4th through the 8th 4. through the 9th down there and then I'll. be good nights North Carolina I believe. August 22nd through the 24th. late August come see me with dates in. September coming up - I'll be the stress. factory in New Brunswick I'll be going. back to the comedy can I go to the. comedy connection Providence Rhode. Island first time there I'll be at going. thanks everybody came out to hilarities.

great club in Cleveland Ohio that was. really fun that one doesn't it's not as. depressing it's no the Opera Theatre. it's beautiful but Tim Jay Dylan di llo. and on Instagram and Twitter the podcast. is you know gonna we'll be back every. week now we will be on the porch me. Davin and Ben this is our final episode. from New York it's gonna be the final. episode of Tim Dylan's going to hell. the name is gonna change the Tim Dylan. show what we're prompted that well I've.

been the hell yeah okay you know we went. we did it so Edie revenue yeah. well no I mean I don't think ad revenue. cares I mean that is the benefit of all. of this yeah Trumpy president what do. you say I offended you um no it's just I. it's time for new sure it's time for new. um it's you kidding this bunch of number. yeah the the Tim Dylan show and it's. gonna be the same show same RSS feed.

same everything but I thought this was a. fitting one to do I was like Who am I. gonna get in and I'm like we should have. rayon and a lot of people should check. you out because you are one of those. characters that are being driven out of. New York sadly yeah I mean I feel like. I'm constantly being you know kind of. poked with sharp stick yeah it's not. friendly place for someone like me but. you know so I lash out at people so you. know yeah I'll be fine I'll come see you. in LA. how about [ __ ] come out or come see.

me I'll be pushing a food cart maybe. raise the bagel guy. if the bagel guy had enough awareness to. know that yelling doesn't even help you. know me and Ray or those people we're. just past the point we just sit down and. eat the bagel because we know laughs let. me ask Alan nothing good is coming for. this bagel guy his life will be worse in. six months because people are gonna get.

sick of him real quick he's gonna get a. few free drinks he's gonna get some a. few you know he'll go gone Jim and Sam. right but in six months it's not I mean. fast forward he's you know he's gonna. move he's got he's a [ __ ] the. bandleader on chemo maracas I mean I. don't know I think Long Island tragedy. seems to always no one has any real. sympathy for Long Island no and I used. to wonder why and man has that question.

been answered I pitched a bunch of shows. that have centered Long Island and they. did not get off the [ __ ] ground. yeah and I've always wondered why and I. gotta be honest and we've talked about. this will kind of end the show by saying. this and I've said it before I'll say it. again of all the collections of white. trash on the planet okay there is no. collection of them that has less charm. or less redeeming qualities than Long. Island they're not folksy Hill people.

they're not like duck hunter uh well. what do you call them uh duck dynasty. like you know and they're millionaires I. miss it but they're not those kind of. people either that are like living off. the fat of the land trackers no what are. they I mean how would you even describe. them because that's they're people who. know the best place to get a grandma. slice like that's what they do you know. which [ __ ] uh which blockbuster has. the [ __ ] the better copy of. Armageddon I don't know like I think.

there was a consumer I think of all the. things that we've done on this show that. we had for two and a half years one of. them that people connected with the most. other than that you know the conspiracy. stuff and all that which will have will. have archives you can hear some of that. but what it what I think we really did. was I can still get messages where it's. like you guys have just hit long island. in the most accurate way you've just. nailed it I've just really nailed well.

because most of the people who judge it. aren't a part of the real underbelly we. were yes we like I mean that Pizza Hut. lunch buffet subprime mortgages we were. eating that pizza we were eating that. Pete's leave I mean we weren't just. going we were saying it was gross we. were shoving it down a fat going at a. pace that kept up with all the other. slobs there yeah we like as a the Pete. we had a certain perspective that. usually you know it we don't want when. you hear some [ __ ] guys eating sushi. I can got a nice pocket squares yeah.

he's talking [ __ ] about some slob yeah. yeah you know the the [ __ ] count. tri-county no no one wants that you need. to be where the inside track good we. already speak we are deep down we're two. people sitting in a bar whispering in. your ear pointing to everyone else at. the bar going these people are pigs. that's really what it is we're. whispering in your ear going you see. these people they're [ __ ] pigs Tim de. la comédie calm goodbye.