155 - Death By Chocolate

and now Tim Dylan is going to have. [Music]. welcome to Tim Dylan's going to hell. everybody we are back on the porch we. are doing video for the people that. asked if we were a few people said are.

you no longer doing video no we are. doing video Devin castas with us nice to. be here again yeah we are on video now I. know that a few episodes were not on. video and many of you got angry about. that you know as as I often rage and a. free product I often get really angry at. the samples that I'm handed at Trader. Joe's for not being exactly what I want. this isn't hot actually. what is this free this isn't hot I don't.

like it I don't get why do people need. to watch the pod I get it because some. people actually put it on a big TV Wow. like they'll you know they'll put it on. Instagram story and then I'm just. yelling in your home which I guess is. great yeah and people love it. people want people are visual people. yeah yeah you know yeah like like when.

kids were stupid when I grew up instead. of just going there slow they'd be like. they're visual learners right right they. they can't listen to you yeah they have. to be shown it yeah with like a play. yeah you gotta put on a play to get and. then of course you know we realized oh. those kids have undiagnosed problems. yeah they have disorders that should. have been identified early in life you. know yeah um well what a fun world we're.

living in if somebody came to you three. years ago and said Gary Busey will be. President and people will be attacking. each other in the street with big Mack. they would have been so close yeah to. where we are like they would have been a. little one dimension off yeah where we. are yeah we've got Trump and we've got. milkshakes and now people are debating. do the milkshakes have cement yeah in.

them and they have dried cement acid. burning off rifle races yes is have the. milk of course in this fat country it's. a desert revolution. you know the anti-fascists are chucking. brownies at the Nazis that's how you. know a lot of this is [ __ ] yeah. they don't even believe if they're Nazis. I'm gonna get in trouble for this but if. they're Nazis kill them right you don't. think they're Nazis yeah.

you're throwing milkshakes - never in. history yeah did throwing a milkshake do. anything right you don't believe they're. Nazis. yeah that's number one I don't believe. anybody truly believes there's gay Asian. journalist who wrote some articles that. people didn't like is a Nazi all of. these people think they're in a movie. but what they think this guy could to. treat him like that to beat the [ __ ] out. of them in the middle of the street they. have to believe the guys Adolf Hitler. yeah they have to really believe or he's.

going to help the next date of it like. they're they fancy themselves as. characters in a movie but what they. don't realize is like everyone in the. movie can't be the villain like the. villain can't be every single print. everyone in Narnia was not the white. witch right it wasn't the way that it. worked like there's a villain and people. around that villain yeah but not every. human being you don't like is the symbol.

of ultimate evil yeah you know yeah had. you seen anything about this like on. Twitter there's a lot of people like. defending it yeah yeah yeah did this. Andina go yeah. nazi Mullen was funny Nick Bolen was. like I don't know if I can say his last. name what I know yeah I just saw that he. was getting attacked and thrown [ __ ] at. all of these people their first tweet is. like and. is the racist anti-muslim blah blah blah.

and then their second tweet is like and. I abhor violence I will say that that I. abhor violence I would never. yeah encourage violence but for my first. tweet in the Strad I would like to point. out everything wrong with this man who's. bleeding on the floor let's just let. that out right now here are my problems. with the victim can you imagine any. other situation oh you know what I mean. yeah a rape victim well let me tell you. about Tasha she was a little stupid we. go home with these boys late at night.

she was no Jackie Kennedy. I'll set now I abhor rape do not support. rape do not like right yes exactly you. know but I will tell you this Tasha man. would she just get in the [ __ ] car. with anybody that [ __ ] had it comment. if anyone had it coming it was her tweet. number two. listen consent is real and I abhor and I. i disavow any rape but let me just get. four or five things out did I feel about. Tasha dude who is he he's a gay Asian.

guy and he's like a like like a no no. he's one of these guys that he writes. for kula i don't i looked into some of. the things that he did listen the guy is. allowed to be wrong right he's allowed. to write things you don't like yeah I. don't understand. at what point a switch was flipped in. people's head where they were like I can. no longer exist on the same planet.

mm-hmm with a human being who was wrong. yeah I mean I don't listen I haven't. read all of his articles supposedly uh. he made a list of journalists and gave. it to Adam Waffen Adam orphans like a. neo-nazi group in Europe okay so they're. all like well this is justified cuz he's. endangering us blah blah blah I did not. look into that I do not have that do not. send me information on that. I don't care please don't send me like a. [ __ ] right actually you know I don't.

care I'm not for people getting attacked. brutalized in the street that you don't. like or that you disagree with it is. this does not where do you think this. leads do these people think that. conservatives eventually don't just. bring guns to these rallies is that's. the next step. yeah is more violence right now it's. it's not that funny because people are.

getting hurt but it's kind of funny yeah. because it's milk [ __ ] though it's still. funny the next step which would be Syria. isn't funny like there's no persuading. in Syria about the gas attacks and how. funny they are you know but there's no. blue checks in Syria being like lol like. being deeply ironic about watching their. kids you know take some gas to the face. from [ __ ] whoever's doing that yeah. using it as an opportunity. humor is less of a way to combat things.

in Venezuela it doesn't really affect. any about like right if if it goes. beyond this to where it's full-scale. real issues I think the government just. comes in and shuts down the party yeah. which i think is what will happen anyway. yeah and my my little conspiracy mind. goes off and goes there's probably FBI. agents in the alt-right and an aunt. afire and in any anti any serious.

anti-government movement in the last 50. years has had FBI people from Quintel. Pro every single one has had FBI agents. that were stirring the pot that were you. know basically trying to foment this. type of chaotic these type of events I'm. not saying this is what happened here. but what it does is it discredits any of.

these movements. I mean Black Panthers whatever they are. you bring in a few guys from the feds. who like it's not enough we got to do. more right we got to go a hundred you. know and then P you start losing the. country people like well wait a minute. this seems a bit odd yeah but I mean. it's it's bananas discussing this with. people because you're like okay riddle. me this. go attack and again not saying to do. this but it wouldn't it make more sense.

to attack ice right hmm Yeah right. exactly they think every one of these. journalists they throw a milkshake at. like a kid gets released from a cage. these are also the people that. supposedly care about the poor and and. these kids in the camps bring the. milkshakes to the kids the kids would. like a milkshake if I was in a I'm not. even in a cage and I would like a. milkshake. I can imagine if I was in a cage which.

I'm against don't start with me and. somebody handed me a milkshake through. the bars right I would be pretty happy. that you didn't waste a milkshake on. some [ __ ] guy that wrote an article. you didn't [ __ ] like it you're. throwing away perfectly good food you. could give to the poor of Portland yeah. you know or some white people in a. failed band or whether it was ever. really struggling over there important. yeah but so the these again are like all.

these you start to realize that some. people just want some type of civil war. mm-hmm they they have meaningless lives. and the oh and they fetishize violence. because it's it's not real violence it's. kind of this violence that is controlled. to a degree um because it's again it's. not like all-out open total war it's. like here's a journalist that we can.

pummel right and or here's some proud. boys that we get in a scuffle or. whatever yeah and these people I think. they just they think they're part of. this revolutionary struggle yeah they're. really not because nobody cares but. looking an uber to the revolution yes of. course ridiculous is taking it over to. the revolution but it just it speak. insanity yeah. today on Twitter people like you see a. guy making milkshakes and people go.

what's on the bucket that's a warning on. the bucket what milkshake ingredient has. a warning on. there's some other guy on Twitter goes. hey that's just a warning for the bucket. it says a kid could fall in that bucket. they close up and he's like there's no. cement in that they're just making a. milkshake and I'm like if these people. were actually motivated to do good they. could do good right yeah like if they. actually wanted to do something good. yeah they all show up they can make a.

lot of milkshakes how about making. sandwiches and distributing them to. people that don't have them yeah I bet. like nobody does that if you suggest to. any of these people that they show up to. a homeless shelter or soup kitchen they. look at you like you're out of your mind. yeah they're like what are you talking. about I just want to go slap up a. journalist to protect everybody from. Hitler you're like what are you even. talking about yeah what are you even. saying I want to go we'll burn down some.

new condo development to fight. gentrification okay have you ever helped. anyone in your own family or a friend is. hurting there like what yeah it's hard. to take these people seriously uh it's. very difficult and here's and by the way. I am concerned that like Trump Trump is. is abyss a boy that like like when he's.

in there with kim jeong-hoon and they're. getting along real well. that worries me yeah it doesn't worry. his supporters they think it's great. right they think it's phenomenal yeah. yeah that kim jeong-hoon. a guy who tortured that poor kid otto. warmbier remember that guy hmm I don't. want be a was this guy who supposedly. was on some school trip or whatever and. he likes stole a flag as a joke in North. Korea oh right yeah I heard about those. than all these people on Twitter or like. well that's white male privilege youth.

stupid white bet like he's being. tortured yeah in a labor camp and. they're like well that's what you got. you're just going around White's planing. and right white male privilege and man. splint and it's like where's your. humanity now all of those people have. rediscovered Otto because now they're. all like why is Trump sitting our test. the guy who murdered otto warmbier. course said oh but you didn't care. whatever was further right whatever. works but when I see Trump with that I'm. like guys this guy is a guy with.

authoritarian impulses he is a. kleptocrat he's got his family in. positions of power I mean [ __ ] Ivanka. and Jared it's who day and kousei. Hussein in there running around moral. Agha. yeah she's running around Europe trying. to get in like a coffee clutch with like. Merkel and Theresa May she's like get. here buddy here's here's what we think. they're like who's this [ __ ] right. who's this [ __ ] okay he's so when I see.

this stuff going crazy in the streets. I'm like we we could slide very easy. into fascism real fascism. you know the boot people this country. would learn to love the boot they would. love the boot on their neck because if. this [ __ ] keeps happening. a guy like Trump Trump is is empowered. by all of the stuff like when when these.

people go and attack a journalist. because Trump appeals to a few groups of. people but one of them they're people. that want to be kept safe right from. immigrants from criminals from whoever. so when Trump goes hey hey we're gonna. secure this country but here's how we're. gonna do it we're gonna take the boot. and step on your face there's a lot of. people whose country that it'll sing god. bless america. while it and they can card everyone off.

to camp they don't care there's people. out there that don't care that the kids. are in a concentration comes talk about. the other night I'm like this can't be. the best way mm-hmm put him in a. Marriott do you know I was in Saint. Louis there's hotel after hotel no one's. staying in there and the people that are. won't notice put them there right put. them in st. Louis they'll leave and I. start team believe st. Louis yeah I mean.

there's got to be a better ways it's not. a good way it wasn't good when Obama. it it's not good this is a problem but. people don't seem to understand why a. guy like Trump when you when he came out. were you like were you one of these. people who were like oh he could never. win or well what did you think about it. when he came out yeah that he could. never win at the beginning yeah you're. in LA elitist yes yeah yeah that's. mostly why you know and you're and you. go out with a Muslim woman yes I do.

I do I'm dating a Muslim woman so do. that what you will folks by who's got a. very white name I know he's got the. whitest name yeah she's got like a world. war two nurse name it's the craziest. thing it's all I'm not gonna say her. name but it's almost like Doris yeah it. doesn't make any it's like what meet my. Iranian friend or what the [ __ ] is this.

man is she [ __ ] assimilating huh yeah. yeah meet my Persian friend what's her. name Mary Sue what but like I could see. very easily us just just right going. right into fascism and and and what's. scary about that is it a lot of people's. country don't give a [ __ ] so I don't I'm. not one of these people that don't I do. think there's major concerns but I don't.

think smacking up an demon to go or no. or however you say his name is the way. to yeah yeah I don't think beating up. people that right like you know BuzzFeed. on easy to be Trump you just need an. adult you just need an adult that goes. guys the people that are really. supporting Trump are like people that. are live-streaming from their basement. and talking about Flat Earth yeah and. that the moon is a spaceship that's a.

huge contingent of his base and you. can't beat them you've forgotten how to. beat them I mean it's great it's like a. kid who's taking over the house at nine. years old. yeah who's like the parents don't know. what to do yeah they're like what are we. gonna do with. I don't know cut is why fight lockup in. the room snotted these aren't great. political thinkers yeah it should be. away yeah to beat beats it's not with. these random acts of violence that it.

then make people think Oh Trump is like. the savior I was thinking about like I. was I was i watch that documentary on. Netflix the UM the Trump did you see the. Trump documentary and it's all about him. in New York City in the 70s 80s and 90s. and really great yeah any at the end of. it and it leaves off right like the last. line of it is he's like they're all. laughing they won't be laughing if I'm. president yeah and then it's boom but.

the last part of it is the apprentice. and you realize how much reality. television is deeply affected our entire. culture because it was one of the first. things that people instinctively knew. was fake but they didn't care like they. knew that it wasn't real that it was. completely manufactured reality but they. enjoyed it and they emotionally invested.

in it as if it were real right and it. was wild. the original fake news the original fake. news I mean it was wild walk because. people knew some shows were better at. hiding it than others like the raw. competition shows I think had more. elements of things that were actually. real right but even there there were. things happening behind the scenes but. then you got to like these Real. Housewives shows that are all. essentially almost scripted like these.

people are put in situation's the. outcomes are somewhat predetermined they. want certain things to happen right and. people don't care they still watch them. yeah they still just go okay you know. red yeah and so it was that and then. when you look at social media those are. the two biggest forces that have changed. culture in my lifetime like I haven't. seen I'm talking about just changing the. way that people act the way that they. relate to each other the way that they. consume like process information on.

reality TV. Media he's the monster that combines. both of those things yeah and he becomes. his unbeatable force. yeah he just doesn't play fair which is. like perfect yeah well it's not only. that he doesn't play fair but it's also. like you can't beat him on his turf you. have to move him you can't fight like. all these one-eyed Gavin on and I mean. Gavin had a good conversation I know. people got mad people like you know the.

idly it was a little long the [ __ ]. beginning it was a lot I repeated myself. that was good though but and the people. like nobody who likes you needs this and. I'm like you don't know who likes you. don't know who's out there. right I have friends that are angry that. I had the guy are on it called me I had. people that were like messaging me you. people don't know but of course I have. some guy you know messaging me standing. in his backyard and a [ __ ] white hood. being like I didn't need that just get.

into the interview he's like lighting. across the interview I just don't need. all this exposition upfront you just. light it you know and he's like he's. spray-painting of the swastika on a. synagogue just typing a comment by the. way I thought it was a little gratuitous. those first 12 minutes but people were. like oh you didn't call and not a lot of. people they were like oh you didn't call. Gavin on staff and whatever and I.

thought like I expressed my opinion but. like well people don't realize my. interviews is it's really not your job. to say your opinion right I do that. every day or in most like you get an. hour of it a week yeah my job is to say. what is your opinion yeah like what is. your opinion yeah and a lot of people. loved Gavin and I thought he I thought. he made sense but there were people that. were like oh you know what I felt he was. a little discombobulated I felt some of. what he said didn't make as much sense.

which fine maybe maybe they were. predisposed to feeling that maybe not. but by the way that's what happens when. somebody talks and there are people to. feel that way about me and it's just you. let people talk and then there are they. have the ability to. potentially advance their [ __ ] cause. or to hang themselves or did go. somewhere in between but like if you. keep fighting somebody and they're in. this defensive posture and they're just. responding to you they're actually and.

at a sizable advantage right because. they never have to explain their ideas. yeah they just have to say while you're. full of [ __ ]. and that's always easier to do so he's. easier to poke holes than to present. some that's why conspiracies are so. great right cuz you get something wrong. with this story I don't buy that what do. you mean I don't understand plane took. off it what that cell phone wouldn't. work at that funk or whatever and then. you're like alright so what do you think. happen and you go I don't know and I've. been in that situation million times I.

have to tell somebody I don't know. because it's harder right takes more. work so yeah let them drown themselves. basically if he's wrong he'll sound. wrong it's you don't have to and that's. the thing with Trump like towards the. end of the election people like what's. your plan for health care and he's like. we're gonna have the best health care. system and they were like what all right. he's like we're gonna have the most. spectacular system and that I remember. even some of my like hardcore Trump. supporter friends were coming you know I. don't really know about if he knows what.

he's doing. yeah cuz they had figured out like that. was the that was what they should have. done from the beginning just be like by. the way what is your plan right and his. plan was nothing he's been in office for. three years there's not one brick of. that wall built now not one there's more. immigrants coming over the border now. than ever that tax bill [ __ ] everybody. except the walton family that owns. Walmart that's the only people that are. happy with that tax by the way you can't.

write off if I go to write off an uber. they cut my hand off so who is that for. who is that for no health insurance is. [ __ ] you're supposedly black. unemployment is up which I'm sure. Trump's some orders are all luck they. all love that that was the best thing. about this race they pretended to care. about black people yeah oh these. Republicans will I've won at what about. blacks we can't we can't we need blacks. to do well we bring in too many. immigrants the blacks aren't doing well. I'm like hey guys.

hun care about this was literally fifty. years ago were you've literally stood in. between yeah black people and any type. of justice you've stood in between them. with literal dogs and fire hoses and now. they're like well black unemployment. it's like oh this is kind of rich yeah. it's kind of red. that's all thing when people like Oh. Trump's I don't think Trump's racist. it's like well your then yours kind of. stupid like I can't see an argument that. a guy like Trump wouldn't be racist I.

mean what what is the argument that a. guy like Trump what like with all the. things you know about him he said you. know I don't want black people on the. casino floor handling my mic yeah I. don't want them living in the apartment. but like what what exactly do you think. you think Trump was like a big. progressive read in the 70s and 80s one. like racism was just the way it all. worked you think Trump was like a black. guy flag-burning hippie yeah there was. like no the system man we need more. affordable housing ya know he wanted the.

Central Park five to be killed he wanted. killed he built gaudy palaces for. criminals I think they even asked them. now but like now that you know they're. innocent would you still say the same. yeah yeah yeah yeah why not why not yeah. I mean dude built gaudy palaces for a. [ __ ] which is fine it is what it is. everybody we have talked at length about. the importance of having a website it is. something that I think is essential for.

people no matter how worthless you are. no matter how worthless your product is. no matter how much talent you lack. it's a great place to put all of it it. doesn't matter if you're good or bad. this society is no longer run according. to that little nas acts put a song on. tick tock is like this goofy song and.

now he's a millionaire now he's gay all. of these great things. why because was the song good did anyone. enjoy it was it a joke were we making. fun of it or were we really enjoying it. it doesn't really matter does it matter. did the cat did the mouse eat the snake. or did the snake eat the mouse er it. doesn't even matter anymore it doesn't. matter nobody gives a [ __ ]. nobody cares nothing is real do you. understand me it doesn't matter anymore. trying to be good at something is stupid.

and it makes you stupid. be loud be an animal be brash be corrupt. be a demon from Hell but have a website. okay and if you do have a website I. think you should use Wix because it's. very easy with Wix you can start from. scratch or choose from over 500 stunning. templates Wix has the most innovative. draw dragon to drop [ __ ] Wix has the. most innovative drag-and-drop website.

builder so you can easily customize your. site you can add text images videos. whatever you want you can even build. your site using Wix Adi artificial. design intelligence okay. we built Tim Dylan's going to hell calm. using Wix it was incredibly easy to do. you can check out past episodes of the. podcast maybe had tickets to my upcoming. shows right on the site Tim Dylan D il L. ons going to hell calm using Wix okay go. there scroll to the link at the bottom. it will give you 10% off any premium. plan and let's stress this again we are.

now in a cycle. where talent is irrelevant. um. [Music]. hard work. whatever subjective what do you what are. you really doing are you working hard is. that Instagram influence you're working. hard maybe who knows. doesn't matter all these objective. truths that you you you've attached. yourself to have been rendered.

meaningless you know Donald Trump a game. show host is the president of this. country the Kardashians are the most. recognizable American family bad baby. little zan and Billy Eilish are the. greatest artists of our time. if Baywatch was remade today it would be. morbidly obese paraplegic lifeguards. trying to wheel themselves down the. beach into the water okay it's all.

happening folks everything you're afraid. of everything you love it's all. happening and none of it matters. coz the reality of the situation is you. just need a website don't think too much. about everything else abandon your. friends and family run into the ocean it. doesn't matter who gives a [ __ ] abandon. your principles turn your back on God. but for the love of God or whatever go.

to Wix. if you 10% off a premium [ __ ] plan. stop looking for truth stop looking for. good bad is good now bad is good make a. song that sounds like [ __ ] you're gonna. be a millionaire tell a joke that's not. funny you'll have 15 specials be the. opposite you want to be thin be really. fat do you want to be fat be really thin.

be a joke don't try to make them we're. living in the time of the joke not the. people who make them this is the time of. the huckster the con artists. the snake oil salesman okay the cult. leader the liar cheat a thief this is. their time and maybe it's always been. there. but is certainly their time now so go to.

Wix build a website. and going go on that journey. go down that road yeah go meet the devil. and realize not only is he real. but he's the only one who loves you. wix.com folks is crazy I was in st. Louis over the weekend and a uh what's.

great about the Midwest they don't even. know how they feel politically they just. know they're done you know what I mean. like they know they're kind of done. right they're just watching the rest of. the country like a television show yeah. at this point yeah and just eating. frozen custard smoking a Marlboro red. and waiting for sweet Jesus to pick up. everybody on that boat and take him up. because they know they don't even have.

strong opinions they're just kind of. like right after the show and by the way. I'm in their st. Louis funny but at a. great time thanks to all you people who. came out it was a good time st. Louis. itself a little underwhelming as a city. to be honest um well there's not a ton. to know hide some ribs at poppy. smokehouse somebody's like you shouldn't. go into Poppy's you should have went hey.

shut up shut up no one gives a [ __ ]. about your smoked pig and where it's. better than where it no one cares you. you should have went to it Poppy's is in. the back half of this place is boarded. up when you're talking about baked beans. no poppies is the good one the good one. is there's people giving birth on the. street in East st. Louis the ribs have a. bulletproof vest on Yeah right right.

there's rows and rows of uninhabited. condemned buildings who gives a [ __ ] if. I went to the third-best rib place okay. get some [ __ ] priorities over there. oh man you [ __ ] up you should have. went so a woman came to the first show. on Thursday night and was like I'm a big. fan I love you I love Rick hump because.

I'm one of Raycom seven patreon. subscribers so I'm like okay this woman. is plugged in yeah she's plugged in but. she looks she was. pretty and she was like older I couldn't. really tell her age cuz she was like. kind of ethnically ambiguous and she was. fifty years old um to two girls very. pretty husband beautiful home. nice car yeah I'm like wow you know a. real person well but then you always I'm. always scared right because they're fans.

of mine ready right so the best thing. ever. a girl message man Instagram no I'll. talk about this other latex I did have a. great time with her a girl message me on. Instagram wants cuz listen my boyfriend. is gonna be in the city we're gonna take. him out for his birthday and it would be. really great if you could just show up. and have dessert with us at the. restaurant I'll pay you a few hundred. bucks make his night he's a huge fan of. the podcast it was right on the way to. the stand I was doing a spot at like.

10:30 I was meeting them at like 9:00. 9:30 it was literally I just say no. would have been dick yeah everything. aligned the stars are aligned for me to. go to this thing right so I show up and. it's a beautiful they're a really. nice-looking couple they're young mmm. beautiful dinner beautiful restaurant I. walk in you see his face he's like. really surprised and kind of shocked you. know yeah I sit down with them he goes.

hey man this is crazy wild thank you for. coming and then he introduces me you. know to the girlfriend and who I know. kind of because she messaged me but he's. like this is whatever I forgot her name. and then he just sits there and they're. both like young professionals. good-looking you know yeah and then he. looks at me and then it goes okay. now tell her how the clintons [ __ ] kids. so I was like dead serious dead serious.

not a joke was it funny he wasn't trying. to be funny right he's like did not tell. her the Clintons [ __ ] kids tell her yeah. and I'm like so I'm eating like dessert. and I'm like well I don't know if it's. the Clintons but there are human. trafficking I'm literally I'm like. people in positions of power and I'm. eating. you know yeah so you don't know who's. showing up you know what version okay. you don't know who's coming you don't. know who's coming you see somebody in a. suit and a good look yeah so this lady I.

was really cool though she drove me. around st. Louis she showed me the rich. areas and we drove through the [ __ ]. country club and the you know every city. is kind of the same you have the. beautiful leafy green areas the country. clubs the big houses she's like one of. these guys you know invented the patent. on the pop-up thing for the Pillsbury. cinnamon rolls like whatever fascinating. um great and they're all millionaires. and then they call it and st. Louis I. think they called the Delmont divide or. something like that and here's one.

Street where you cross over it and then. you were in post-apocalyptic as the. great as Chris Hedges would say the. great Chris Hedges a sacrifice zone yeah. well you don't see anything. it's just boarded up houses you see. people um it doesn't seem like there's a. ton of services you don't really see. even a lot of urgent cares you wonder. what happens if somebody gets sick you. don't see a lot of police and we're also. 20 minutes away from Ferguson oh that.

whole thing that whole event yeah I get. into BER from the airport and I said to. the uber driver I said where do you live. she said Ferguson I was like okay I just. put my head I'm like well let's just. have a quiet ride yeah let's you know. because quite frankly I just don't need. to get I don't even you know yeah she. was like that whole thing never happened. you know and I was like well okay I. don't even know what that means and I'm. sure it didn't happen the way that. everyone thought it happened because. nobody was there. right median flames whatever but I would.

feel a lot better if I could just listen. to Liz oh and stare out the window and. you know enjoy the scenery which by the. way that Liz Oh performance on the. Beatty Music Awards was so [ __ ] good. oh yes I clip of it oh she's killer yeah. and first of all what is who is Billy. Eilish I have no clue this girl is. clearly an MKULTRA vet she every video.

she's like bleeding out of her eyes. there. like rituals I'm not even that guy yeah. they come out even that guy that's like. look at the symbolism why is Taylor. Swift you know right you know in a fire. what does that mean why is Haiti Perry. in hell in this video but like you look. at the Billy Eilish video and it's like. these weird rape fantasies come to life. she's bleeding on every horse of orifice. like this blue black blood what the [ __ ].

is going on like I don't want to seem. unhappy I don't want to seem uncool cuz. I want to be you know woman forward. Satan forward but what the [ __ ] going. on yeah. what is happening I don't know play the. girl has the energy of somebody that. Harvey Weinstein kept in a cage and. raped for ten years and everyone thinks. it's great yeah she's on Ellis she. doesn't even sing she's just mommer's. she's like little kids these little kids.

are like thinking it's great yeah I like. Billy I want to get raped into Fame come. on come on I'm a bad guy come and get me. yeah mr. senator mr. studio head come. and find me put me in the middle of his.

pentagram and introduce me to the dark. lord I will be impregnated with Satan. and then there it's like what is this. yeah and by the way that's amazing about. black versus white when you're black. like Liz oh she's up there she's a big. girl she's singing dancing and playing a. [ __ ] fluid yeah this chick just shut. up and went I love Satan and they're. like gasps patch millionaire yeah. millionaire yeah Liz owes been singing.

for like years and years and years. this one just shows up like she was. wandering down a highway with blood all. over her like she just escaped the shed. and true detective. and then she's you know and she's on the. view. yeah and I you know I don't want to. sound unhip and uncool because I don't. get what's clearly something's wrong.

yeah something's wrong there Billy's not. gonna I don't think Billy's even gonna. make it to Amy Winehouse I like it's a. problem something's going on. yeah I don't want to seem maybe I'm. wrong. have you seen her I've seen his pictures. ever yeah she looks like little Zane but. like a girl she looks like little Zab. but she little zen I get a wholesome. about nice tattoos I get a wholesome. vibe from little Xan here like I don't.

think little Xan could spell Satan right. so I think he's kind of like a teddy. bear he's a lovable man zan just wants a. pharmaceutical yeah a bag of cheetos and. like a soft chair to like slink in and. like make noises that are kind of words. right well he's like you're laymen you.

know a lady you like you know yeah like. that's what I think yeah I don't know I. don't get the dark vibe from Jean I mean. it is I guess dark in the sense that he. can barely speak or move most times I. see him but that's the kids that's the. kids nowadays you can't you don't want. to start like a Boomer respect these. kids I know you have to like everything. you have to like everything that. children do yeah yeah you have to let.

children lead the way even if they're. clearly on drugs you have to a person. being violently raped yeah by members of. the music industry they should still. lead the way yeah what is the kit what. are the kids think about global warming. come here. yeah blinky blinky the autistic yeah. rapper what do you think well you know. Planet [ __ ] you have to call myself an. old-timer if you're like 27 or like hey. I don't know about this young generation.

I'm seven oh my. aah people people think I'm in my 30s. and I keep telling people I'm [ __ ] 18. and they don't believe me because the. [ __ ] stupid I just graduated a school. ok. I just graduated [ __ ] high school and. it was a [ __ ] dope year and I went to. the prom with Billy Eilish and we we we.

caught a baby out of some woman's womb. in the problem it was a prank it was a. prank whatever but like the head of. Capitol Records or whatever Capitol. Records is now was there and he made us. do it and then he hid the baby and I. don't know he kept talking about you. know the one true forced it animates all. things darkness. whatever prey but the prom was fun you. know. we listen to me ghost we listen to cardi. B you know we had a great time Drake.

Johnny Ghosh's blood yeah. Johnny Gosch Devon gosh not Gauche dose. means something's like passe like it's. not cool anymore. johnny is gauche Johnny go [ __ ] I mean. what you feel like when you posted the. when Louie came out and you got some. flak you're right bad comics Louie Louie.

came out at skank fest it was awesome. and raped three women and this is a. story that no one has heard um and and I. Louie we got on stage it was a woman in. the front row he lunged it or any bitter. neck and everyone laughed yeah and then. he brutally raped he brutally raped her. and then was click cheering and whooping. it up yeah and then then guys were. actually throwing their girlfriends at. Louie going rape her rape her and they.

were filming it yeah and the girls were. into it at first but then it was weird. yeah but I just fell. art is very complex Sam yeah and I. wasn't prepared for all of the raping. that happened mm-hmm he didn't do any. comedy that was the misnomer he did not. he did not tell any joke there's a story.

going around that he got up at a comedy. festival a whole group of people was. happy to see him he did 15 to 20 minutes. of really funny material and then left. and everyone felt safe and happy that is. actually not the correct story. yeah no the correct stories that he. brutally raped multiple women in the. audience while doing know comedy. whatsoever right and was paid four. million dollars to do that by the white.

male in Turkey which is now a LLC mm-hmm. and no listen I was at Mohegan Sun Louie. was this gang fast I was watching that. intro man it was [ __ ] cool and I did. it this is the coolest moment of the. last year people don't really know what. cool is because I didn't say like this. is the greatest thing for women you know. not that it's I think a what like.

negative thing but like people reacted. like I said he should run for president. right what I said was it was cool that. one of the greatest comics that's ever. lived popped up and did a sat and an. underground completely DIY. do-it-yourself fest of all yeah and that. nobody gives a [ __ ] every woman there. was happy with it they were all on their. feet applauding everybody was excited. the staff of the venue was excited even. though they [ __ ] reversed that. position because they're [ __ ] liars. um and everybody was cool with it and I.

tweeted out and then a lot of people got. mad at me which is okay here's the other. thing yeah great good hey man I don't. I don't I'm not one of these people. where I'm like you don't have a right to. say that I'm an [ __ ] or an idiot or. that I suck or whatever say whatever you. want it doesn't unaffected um but just.

know just know and this is the game you. are very very bad at this you're very. very bad you might be right about some. of the things you believe in politically. culturally I don't know but here's what. I know you are horrible.

you you're really really not good at. making people laugh yeah and part of. your anger part of your rage comes from. that now there are other people that are. funny that I disagree with there's a lot. of people that are great that I wouldn't. see on Iowa but there's a lot of people. out there that are like garbage yeah and. have never met anyone laughs and I've. never made a [ __ ] dollar yeah doing. it and they are enraged that people have.

an audience. mm-hmm and it doesn't matter if they're. in the writers room make it 5 grand a. week they're enraged that people show up. and laugh at other because nobody got in. this for money. yeah most of these [ __ ] had it anyway. so you think you give these people money. would shut them up satiate them that's. not the case they desperately want. people to tell them how great they are. they want people to laugh and it and but. they don't put the work in they're. actually a lot of them are very lazy. yeah and they're they're like. fundamentalist the good comedy doesn't.

[ __ ] come from you being right all. the time right yeah you know they're. threatened by like a natural talent. they're threatened by anybody that's. threatened by an unnatural talent yeah. they're threatened by a dog who's. getting attention in a park I mean these. people are here I mean don't see these. shows that they put on in Brooklyn. they've all got costumes on it should be. better I'm like this should be better. you all have class tombs on yeah.

you're like trying this should be good. why is it so bad why is it like worse. than a play that kids and a family put. on while everyone gets ready for dessert. are you all on drugs did nobody practice. do you lack inspiration what is bad why. I wanted to be better yeah I don't care. there's people that are very funny the.

trans comedian Patti Harrison very very. funny. I don't know her we don't we don't talk. we don't hang out I'm not against that. she may be but let's say we would have a. lunch I would imagine that we might. disagree on a point or two I don't know. I'm guessing but she's incredibly funny. that's the reality um but a lot of.

people are or not but there are people. that are funny and I'm like [ __ ] it cool. yeah but people say to me like like. what's the point what are we doing with. the loot no one cares it's a fake issue. it's a non [ __ ] issue. yeah people want to see him he's gonna. perform it if people wanted to see you. you could perform people barely want to. see me I perform I don't give him a.

choice you lock the doors I show up I. show up I'm on the road in these [ __ ]. shitty little towns not always some of. them are great but none of these people. Dan Soder said something wants I don't. forget he might have been quoting. somebody but he said all of these guys. have never lost a fight and now they all. want to be the champion mmm this is the. problem this is a group of people in.

comedy who've heard the word yes over. and over again and it's traditionally a. business where you like no no no. rejection you get a thick skin you get. licked off you don't care yeah these. people here yes all the time so they. can't hand. doll when anything goes the other way. there's lost you know yeah I think they. want comedies who remain as mediocre as. their contributions as well it's these. are people who think that throwing. milkshakes at people is gonna bring. about the revolution it's the same.

mentality of like your unserious you're. not a serious person if these are the. things you believe mm-hmm. you know mm-hmm but I don't have a prop. I like a lot of people are like Oh Tim. Dylan's in LA he's gonna sell out yes. correct correct I'm here I am here and I. have my [ __ ]. gaping wide open frame multinational. corporation to mount me and [ __ ] me lay.

eggs in me that will give birth to an. army that will murder your families. here's the problem no one's doing that. I'm just here with my ass open and. nobody's mounting me not one I'm ready I. keep telling them my life for you what. am i you know.

I'll feed Billy Eilish every day in her. cage I'll look after her I mean you know. I'm selling out you're putting wigs on. at a garage ranting this is a dumb nail. this is how dumb people are but let him. think let it out sighs yeah I am putting. wigs on in a garage but that's that's. the future the future ain't Netflix put. wigs on in a garage all these young.

comedians like when you go on the road. they'll tell you they're gonna move to. New York or LA and like if they had a. real comedy nerd there that you're. opening for they could really you know. me I don't give a [ __ ] yeah and they're. all like I just want to move here I'm. gonna get real good and I'm gonna move. to New York and make poppy real proud. and I'm like great where's Taco Bell. have a Taco Bell here good good do that. do all that ha just wanna get owns it. show great great where's that custard.

place can we go there. can we go there please have quiet on the. way one guy sweet guy be telling me he's. like 31 he's icky I'm gonna move soon. I'm like that wait wait wait you're only. 31 you're a baby it's what we need do. you know yeah I don't know ma'am. we're in trouble as a country folks you.

know there's a lotta there's a lot of. people in this world that are good at. things you know there are people that. are people that are great deal makers. and make deals there's people that are. great athletes they just have a you know. fundamental you know maybe genetic. advantage I don't want to say that I. don't want to go down that road I'm just. saying not genetic maybe but they work.

hard at being an athlete I'm not saying. that race informs your ability my point. is this okay there's a lot of people out. there that are good at different [ __ ]. okay some people are good cooks you go. over their house to make you good apple. pie to make a nice pie not not those are. infrequent now but and some people are.

lovers they're they're they're they're. [ __ ] they [ __ ] they know how to [ __ ]. I have a friend like that he just [ __ ]. what he does he [ __ ] you know and he's. what he does puts his dick so he's hard. puts it in and out of a vagina and then. he ejaculate s-- and though the woman is. pleasured as well hopefully that's what. he's into what a lot of people are into.

but some people are into it more than. others some people direct their flaccid. dick they watch porn 5 hours a day. they've never met another human being. some people are you know. part of multinational pedophile rings. these are problems big problems in the. world okay dad some people are in a. bestiality okay I am NOT and I do not. support that although there are some. animals where you go do they really care.

yeah there are some animals that clearly. don't care you know what I mean and may. even be in you know what I mean but an. animal can't consent that's the argument. I'm against BC Allen I want to say that. this is not this is not a pro bestiality. ad night we've gotten off on a real. tangen ear I'm not saying you should. ever [ __ ] an animal but if you would. [ __ ] animal would you ever want to do. it with a soft dick because an animal.

would notice that you were not fully. hard so if you are [ __ ] animals and. you don't have a hard deck maybe go with. premise it it's perfect for any man who. wants to last longer in bed or wherever. many of the men let's be honest many of. the men do not last long enough with. their partner to have an orgasm it's not. because they aren't man enough that kind. of is but it really comes down to. science on average men taking about five. and a half minutes to reach climax where. a woman takes around 18 minutes okay how.

long does a Shiba Inu take anyway. permits it was Davitt soul jokes folks. it's jokes comedy comedies coming for. you per mess it was developed by doctors. to help bridge this orgasm gap its [ __ ]. spray folks what it is okay you spray it. on your dick in your heart go to delay. spray calm if you use the promo code Tim. 15 you'll get 50% off your purchase. delays very calm they gave it all to us. at gas digital we all sprayed our [ __ ]. we're walking around bumping into each. other it really does work your [ __ ].

stays hard stays hard when it's very. important it's very important because. you want to find someone to marry and if. you're a man you want to find a woman. and display your sexual prowess and [ __ ]. you know better than adequately you want. to do it really well. so that she marries you and overlooks. your lack of employment the fact you.

really aren't a great dad. you don't really have any emotional. security you'll probably cheat on her. you don't have any morals you're kind of. bankrupt in that department you're not. really the person that she can count on. for anything you just kind of go down to. the bar and you like drinking with your. friends you're kind of a frat boy even. though you're in your mid-30s you're not.

good to your children or your wife you. make comments about other women in. public it's actually disgusting many of. the parents at your son's school if. lodged complaints about you you see your. wife suspects that you're using drugs. maybe even selling them to children in. the neighborhood you're kind of creepy. you keep making comments about your high. school son's girlfriend and that's.

creeping a lot of people out you're just. one of those guys but why did she marry. you because you had a hard dick and you. trapped her okay she didn't see who you. for what you really were which a dirty. old man lazy bum that never brought. anything to the table that was you know. content with just really floating around. the margins of society and you just got. by because you were [ __ ] white you're.

always [ __ ] white and you just. [ __ ] lounged around and you took the. family on one vacation at Disneyworld. you stayed in a shitty hotel it wasn't. even on the property you screamed at. your wife in front of the characters. your kids were embarrassed they started. crying you got in their face and you. were like be happy we're at [ __ ]. death the world you started shaking your. son. your wife said stop it stop touching AB. and just for a moment you know she just. wished that in that moment you just died.

that something snapped in your head and. that you dropped dead right on the floor. and she never wished for anything harder. in her life and she closed her eyes and. she just wished that the last thing she. saw was you fell down in front of the. Magic Kingdom [ __ ] massive stroke. aneurysm hemorrhage whatever and you. were just out and dead and that she. would go to your funeral and she would. cry tears of happiness but she would. disguise them and that she was upset but. she wasn't she was so thrilled that you. were dead now she could go find another. man a real man maybe she wouldn't think.

too much about his [ __ ] [ __ ] she. would pay attention to more than that ok. but you didn't die you didn't die she. closed her eyes and she prayed as hard. as she couldn't when she open those eyes. you were standing there and you looked. more alive than ever and she was trapped. and she knew it and how did she get. trapped because before you went on that. day he sprayed some pur messing on your. [ __ ] and she said this man is hard and I. bet that means he's gonna be a good man. and she was wrong but.

you gonna live Space Mountain and it's. the dark and you like to touch in the. dark. and she's worried and you're worried you. don't know what you'll do go to delay. spray calm folks de la y SP ra y dot-com. the show is good people like in we're. gonna be independent soon we're gonna.

set up a patreon we're gonna still do. ads the ads are gonna still be very. funny it's still gonna be the best. caliber of products [ __ ] spray CBD wicks. you know we bring you a suicide. prevention online suicide counseling. things that we feel that this audience. could really benefit no tax preparation. or any of that we know you people are. okay shout out to that lady in st. Louis.

who took me out that was really cool she. took me to a really cool place called. olio in st. Louis fun little restaurant. go there you took me to a great. restaurant what was that call hex tax. hex French restaurant neco Park how good. was that is great love that place maybe. dumb name but it is a dumb name but it's. the it sounds like a road been some kid. message man Instagram that he went to. school with what's his name Cactus Jack. Daniels yeah you want me to tell you so.

been told a story about a guy that he. went to school with him cactus Jack's. office before that guy he died right I. mean yeah you have to Cactus Jack will. get your heart attack I mean I'm trying. to find this guy I gotta find this guy. he did though he like he [ __ ] and this.

guy how did he die again Ben I was an. aneurysm I feel bad like wasn't even his. fault. Jesus was he a good kid that's. still friends with his family you never. knew his family else you just full of. [ __ ] huh he was a good child good boy. I can't Cactus Jack somebody somebody. what what school did you guys go to. what's it called.

Jim Ned high school named Jim Ned Oh a. Native American named Jim Ned I love the. day a Native American sold out his tribe. and you guys named a high school after. him in Tuscola Texas cuz he sold it out. for the white man. great great can I sell out gays I hope. the Family Research Council names and. building after me who was Tim why are we.

going to Tim Dillon's Christian High. School well during the Great War. Dylan turned informed on all the people. who wouldn't message him back on Grindr. and they were slaughtered so he sold out. his community and that's why we named a. high school after him he was a good man. thank you Tim um how long have we done. so far Ben yeah we still got a little.

time here folks there's one more thing I. wanted to get into I think we got into a. lot at Billy I said I got me some people. people will be angry but it's a fact. something's wrong it's a problem um I I. don't want to seem like a [ __ ] all the. time about people in the service. industry uh-huh. okay and I know that I have before yeah. um and I think that the major. distinction between me and other people.

out there is that I see people in the. service industry as people so I expect. them to behave and and to be the best. they can be and if they're not the best. they can be. I have to I have to rein them in yeah. and. let them know that they can be better. let them know that they have to believe. in themselves right and sometimes I have. to do that sternly sometimes I have to.

kind of forcefully give them a pep talk. because they've lost all faith in. themselves right sometimes I'll see a. waitress who's forgotten a side of honey. mustard that I had ordered 14 minutes. ago and I've said she has forgotten how. great she could be I gotta get her over. here. and really let her know yeah that she. could be a lot better than she's being. right now right and sometimes you know. people say oh you catch more flies with. honey than you do with vinegar I've.

never believed that I think you catch a. lot of flies. if you throw acid at them and even if. you don't catch them they they will they. wake the [ __ ] up yeah dang I'm not. looking to catch the Flies I want the. Flies to know that there's a problem but. I didn't do anything here's my thing. what happened here's my thing I'm gonna. be honest and there's a lot of waiters. out there and servers that might. disagree with me and listen again I am.

NOT here all I'm here to do is to love. you right that's what I'm here to do I. love you. the people that don't yell at you don't. love you the people that it cuz I always. dip I tip you but sometimes you gotta. have a talk because I don't know what's.

happening man appetizer has a [ __ ]. meaning appetizer look it up then what. does appetizer say get-get the. definition up and get the definition of. appetizer up because there's confusion a. small dish of food taken before the main.

course of the meal. the operative word there is before the. appetizer comes out before the entree. yeah okay sorry to think it showed up. here's one reason why because if you go. out to eat alone. and you want you don't want two plates. on the table at the same time to make. you look like you're a fat pig you want.

to eat one plate and then get rid of it. and then have them bring the next plate. so that nobody knows that you even had. the first play it's God now there's no. evidence you don't just start throwing. plates at the table like this is a mess. hall and we're all eatin quick before we. go back out to war you bring the. appetizer first I don't care what the. kitchens doing control the [ __ ].

kitchen don't fire up the entree until. you see me eating the appetizer do not. put the I don't care if it's a diner. it's not my fault you work in a [ __ ]. diner you orthopedic shoe wearing [ __ ]. and this isn't even this is an old girl. of swingers with a full sleeve of. tattoos whose real [ __ ] hip who I. gave a dollar to and I didn't say. anything to her the swingers probably.

got back as smiles I got back there I. backed him but I'm only sitting outside. him I'm kind of only allowed to be. outside I can't eat in the restaurant. curbside for you because of the problems. that I've had that we've described on. this show which again are me expecting. the most out of people I love those are. the problem yeah those are the problem. that's the issue it's a problem you're. not looking at a segment of humanity no.

[ __ ] them I don't they're they're. roaches it's looking at people going. you're human being deal with me like a. person deal with me what if I was Christ. what if I was Jesus Christ what if Jesus. Christ walked into this [ __ ]. restaurant and said I want to sit at the. big booth no it's [ __ ] here I know. that it's reserved for six people. they're not coming here your food sucks. no one's here people get tricked into. coming to this dumb restaurant where.

people sit here all coked out licking a. grapefruit pretending at somebody's ass. all this isn't a culinary experience. it's dumb kids and old queens I know. what this [ __ ] place is let me sit in. the big booth you can't what if I was. Jesus having that moment would you would. you shun me and turn me away would you. or would you [ __ ] say thank you. Christ for a very hundred assessment of. this restaurant God Christ this is.

pretty good you you you call us out. right on the nut little on the nose. Christ when I said that to them when I. said just coked-out people licking a. grapefruit like an [ __ ] somebody. should go ah god that's pretty on the. nose Christ and you sit in that booth. what I'm trying to say is that when I. order a quesadilla and then and then a. open-faced turkey sandwich these are not. to be delivered at the same time they're.

radically different they don't. complement each other at all. I'm double-fisting guacamole and gravy. in front of people at 9:30 in the. morning sitting on the sidewalk because. I'm not allowed in the restaurant so. what I'm saying is that when you write. this order in just communicate with the. kitchen a little bit yeah okay just. communicate with the kitchen you know.

I'm not gonna do anything. Kayson he was on the appetizer menu yes. that's yeah yeah big my said thank you. and I said I said to her I said you know. everyone in LA you know I think there's. [ __ ] cool you just go for respect I. just want the kids respect I want. crack the food is that the food is like. bad it's like you don't even understand.

why it's so bad like why. is quesadilla gross yeah I can make it. in my house right it's like the easier. how was it so bad so I'm there I just. want I just go there because I go I want. this to work I want this to work and I'm. sitting outside and uh you know so. nobody's in there - that's the other. thing you know you could it just. couldn't been thank God cuz you know I'm. there and I it's not like I belong in a.

[ __ ] environment with winners but God. is that not the case. you know these are just old dilapidated. West Hollywood rats you know yeah and. they're sitting there people who might. have been the [ __ ] like 94 just old. freckled big titted goons these la guys. whose brains have melted they're sitting. there these people with their shitty.

little dogs dumb tourists yeah because. it just says Hollywood diner they think. it's you know right and I just said. there I go can you bring the quesadilla. first and she came to the table and she. had two plates in her hand one of them. was a quesadilla and one of them was the. open-faced turkey sandwich which she. didn't have mashed potatoes so she. brought a basket of fries so now we have. three plates on the table two plates and. a basket and I'm there alone I just got.

off a four hour flight and I have two. plates of food and a basket of french. fries and I'm sitting there and. everyone's looking at me like oh look a. pig has come to the feast okay because. this [ __ ] couldn't have been discreet. throw the fries on the plate you don't. have to bring a basket yeah up front so. now I'm sitting there and I said to her. I go I wanted the quesadilla first and.

then she goes oh what are you first of. all what the [ __ ] do you mean oh it's a. [ __ ] appetizer do you not understand. this. sequence of the way you're supposed to. bring these things out here should I hit. you with a chair I'm not saying I should. but I'm I'm asking I'm asking that what.

what should I do. now I because I'm a gentleman okay I. said it's fine it's fine. hmm it's fine you sacrifice for her. mistake I sacrifice I said it's fine she. said is it I said yes. well now it is so that I just ate my. Thanksgiving dinner of food whack Amole.

gravy french fries yeah it's a good. Cologne on the sidewalk outside a. restaurant then I'm I don't know that. I'm banned but I'm not welcome you know. what I mean like yeah I'm not welcome. but I don't I don't know again I don't. know what my next move is with that. place here's a few things I'm. considering do I call the health.

department and maybe let them know some. of the things that I've observed. that's an idea I'm not saying I would do. this I'm I don't know where I'm I do I. do that do I call up and order food to. be picked up and then no one picks it up. and I do that once a day yeah.

for the rest of my life until they. change their policy like until they're. like we no longer have pickup right you. have to give us a credit card number and. then I just keep getting Berner credit. cards and burner phones do I have them. caterer a white pride event do I. organize a neo-nazi event and have them. unbeknownst to them do I plan another.

Charlotte cell and have them do all of. the catering for it is this the way to. handle it and then have them have to get. out and disavow and I mean not cease for. rebellion SS shields Klan robes eating. their food going this is kind of good. these vegan banana pancakes are pretty. good Heil Hitler. is that the move right is that the route.

I don't know or do I just keep going. back until they figure it out did you. have a talk with the waitress he's like. he said I didn't because I don't believe. that anything I said I tipped her eight. dollars on a $35 bill which is a lot of. money and the reason I tipped her that. money was because I felt bad for her and. I said here's a woman who's working.

really really hard and doing a horrible. job and she's probably living in LA. and she's under the impression that one. day someone's gonna give a [ __ ] about. her band or somebody's gonna you know. you know option her screenplay or she's.

gonna get cast on a reality show she's. gonna be the fun-loving tattooed girl. that everybody dumps loads and and she. gets like ten grand a night to appear at. a club in Atlantic City and stand there. in a VIP section while like you know. Mongoloids from the Jersey Shore look. [Music]. but none of that will probably happen.

that's all best case right yeah what. will probably happen is she'll get older. and older the tattoos. that once made so much sense on her arms. will make less and less sense because. she'll be shooting heroin and her veins. will be bulging she'll be shooting. heroin because she just started snorting. it and eventually it was more. cost-effective to shoot. she'll be squatting in a friend's house.

just long enough until her friend gets. arrested and the cops drag her out. she'll have long since lost her job at. that diner she'll be sleeping in an. abandoned car and selling her [ __ ] on. the street and I imagine his businessmen. dumped loads in her and then shoot her. up and she sits there waiting to die she.

feels that cold black goo running. through her veins. she just closes her eyes and she wonders. what Wednesday night she's gonna meet. God at least she'll know least she'll. know that years and years ago a fat. [ __ ] saw this all happening he chose. not to tell her instead he chose to give. her eight dollars which he now probably. [ __ ] shoves in her ass and keeps her.

emergency money but I didn't tell her. any of this I just said thanks a lot see. you soon tibula comedy calm I am coming. to wise guys in Salt Lake City Utah. Friday and Saturday might miss that cuz. it's coming out Sunday I'm also going to. be at hilarities in Cleveland on July.

19th to 20th American comedy cohan San. Diego August 1st through the 3rd I'm. coming to zany's in Nashville in August. I'm coming to [ __ ] the stardome in. Hoover Alabama stand-up live in. Huntsville Alabama I'm coming to the. comedy zone in Charlotte South Carolina. no North Carolina. Charleston Charlotte I think it's. Charlotte anyway come out tickets are on.

my website Tim Dylan comedy calm I post. all the links you'll see all the links. closer to the dates on social media but. if you want to get them now go grab them. on the website I am doing that southern. run it's gonna be a lot it's gonna be a. lot of fun people tell me you're coming. back to Chicago you're coming to Atlanta. in the fall we're lining up those gigs. now in Chicago Atlanta you know maybe. back to Texas some other cool [ __ ] going. on in the fall and it'll be a lot of fun. I'm at the Comedy Store this week a few.

times and and The Improv my kill Tony. tomorrow well yesterday you'll get this. on Tuesday so but get some tickets folks. like the podcast subscribe to us on. Apple podcasts we're growing it's fun we. got a lot of stuff coming down the pike. soon new videos patreon is gonna come. we're gonna go to twice a week cool. people that are coming on to interview. we're going the whole route here we are. gonna be independent very soon love.

everyone against digital will still be. there when I'm in New York I'll still be. doing all of their shows Metzker just. signed on there that's gonna be [ __ ]. great. and I'll be doing all of those shows. when I'm back in New York but we're. going independent we might start live. streaming to YouTube gonna do a lot of. [ __ ] playing around a lot of different. ideas I love the idea of a morning show. once a week I don't know how we could do. that at swingers well I just love the. idea of like a coffee morning show where.

we all have coffee we livestream in the. [ __ ] morning we're [ __ ] around man. with a lot of different ideas so when. the patreon gets here if you guys can. support it great if you can't just tell. your friends about the show if you like. it tell them to listen to it tell them. to subscribe to it that's the most. important thing anyway to be honest. obviously support the show if you can. but the most important thing is that it. grows so tell people about it. Devin where can they find you. youtube.com slash Devin Casta dvan.

Co sta and I have a podcast hate that. you love it with Devin cost on iTunes. hey do you love it is about [ __ ] Devin. is a. comedian it is Kevin Devin is gay Muslim. Ben our producer is trans youth transia. and that that again is why I hired him.