Robby Hoffman: Growing Up Poor Never Leaves You | The Interview

I've never heard the word growing up. Comfortable. What? We're not comfortable. Nobody is. comfortable. [music]. This is the interview. I'm Lulu Garcia. Navaro. Comedian Robbie Hoffman [music]. seems to be everywhere these days. >> Robbie Hoffman. Robbie Hoffman. Everybody. >> She's been praised for her scene. stealing role in Hacks. Last week I was. a casidic labavich Jew living in Crown.

Heights, New York. Now I'm in LA. I'm. gay and probably an atheist. Till last. week I never even seen a movie. >> Huh. And in [music] Steve Carell's HBO. comedy Rooster, where she plays a blunt, protective roommate. >> Permission to be frank. Break up. Let's. wrap this up. Go home. >> Hoffman grew up poor in a hidic. community. The seventh of 10 children. with a lot of trauma. He was physically. abusive to my mother for years. I. remember some bad fights he would speak.

to us after and say, you know, but I. would never hit you. But it's like, but. you hit ma. It's like, you hit ma. There's so much I. wanted to talk to her about money, fame, marriage, and what it all means in our. celebrity and wealth obsessed culture. Here's my interview with the singular. Robbie Hoffman. >> Okay. And action. >> Robbie Hoffman. Yeah. Can you imagine? >> We're actually in your home. >> It's weird because you guys said and I I. was saying this a bit. You said, "Oh,

they have to do it at your house cuz we. want the the person to be comfortable.". But what you do is you come to the house. and you totally rip apart like this is. not. >> like do you know what I mean? It's like. you want me to be comfortable, but the. couch isn't where the couch like the. whole house is moved. >> Yes. So it's kind of counterintuitive. We want we want the subject to be. comfortable, but then you come in the. house and you move everything that's. right. And I did notice sometimes when. you see an interview, you see them. sitting in the middle of a room in their. chair and I go, "That's their living. room. How weird to walk in, but now I.

understand they move everything. I have. these chairs. These are my chairs." But. normally they're there. They're very. nice chairs. >> They're very nice chairs. >> The house is beautiful. >> They're beautiful. Do you feel. comfortable? >> No. [laughter]. >> Fair. [gasps]. Um, >> but I'm not comfortable a lot, so don't. worry. I'm comfortable being. uncomfortable. >> Are you comfortable making people. uncomfortable, too? >> Yeah. Oh, [snorts] yeah. >> Great. Then we're in for a fun. conversation. >> We're in for it. >> All right. So, um, we're going to talk.

about more of this later, but as you. have often talked about, you grew up. really poor. And I wanted to start. though with what is the weirdest thing. now about finding yourself. >> with money and fame? >> You know, I don't know if weird is the. word. I I think it's tremendous. It's. amazing. It's everything I've ever. wanted was to make a living doing what I. love doing. Um, you know, life is weird.

everywhere. I my weird doesn't you know. me seeing stuff you know. it it doesn't change. necessarily. based on my socioeconomic status now I. just see rich people in their weirdness. I was poor I saw us I you know what I. mean and I saw them now I see new weird. things you know it's like you go to a. different level of a of a video game. there's other challenges and there's. other weirdness. how would you compare the rich weird to.

the poor weird. >> The rich weird is way weirder and worse. Um because it. there's like a a humanity that's that is. missing. Uh my favorite is a people like. me who who who grew up poor and then by. the grace of God got some money and now. we could be like, "Oh my god, how weird. are these rich people who've been like. this since birth or whatever, right?". You know, small things like when you go. into a rich person's house and nobody's. allowed to go in the fridge, right? The.

poor have much less, but it's like when. you go to their house, it's like of take. take. You want a Coke? You want a. Sprite? Like we just everybody went in. the fridge, but the rich, they have so. they have the biggest fridge, but nobody. can go in the fridge. Right? So, it's a. small thing like that that paints a. bigger picture, a bigger problem of. generosity, right? Generosity seems like. a small thing, but um I've only uh I've. mostly seen generosity in poor um. households. Uh, it's not to say it. doesn't exist, but it is notable. Whenever I meet a rich person and they.

actually were helpful or great, I. mention it. It's worth mentioning. Are. there things that have stayed with you. about having really struggled? Because. my mom came as a political refugee from. Cuba. >> with basically a suitcase and no matter. how comfortable she is. >> No, no, no. Yeah, >> she's a hoarder. She is a hoarder. because she says it's because she lost. everything so young. >> Um, she can't throw anything away. It's. she's 87 now and that has stayed with. her. Is there anything like that for.

you? >> Everything. Everything stays with you. Um the way that I am is entirely. informed by how I grew up. Um. everything stays with me. I joke about. it often times, but you know, that's why. I like being with Gab. We both kind of. grew up meager beginnings and we speak. the same language. I equate it to. literally dating outside of the faith. Um, I Gabby and I getting married, we. dated inside our faith. No, she's not. Jewish. Nothing to do with that, but she.

grew up meager. So did I. And that helps. our dayto-day. We speak the same. language. If we're grocery shopping, raspberries are $7.99 for a little. thing, and I'm not in the mood to spend. that. I don't care if the money's in the. account. I'm not in a place emotionally. to drop $7.99 USD on a little thing of. raspberries. We move on. She's She. agrees. We move on. This thing that you. just said is so interesting to me that. you're not emotionally in the place to. spend $7.99. >> I think it's criminal. I'm moving on. >> But what does that mean for What does. that mean for you? I I just I've never.

heard that. >> This is crazy. I mean, I had a great. uncle and I don't know the the the the. comparison, but you know, gas right now. in LA is seven is $7. >> Close to Yeah. >> Okay. Now, when I was a kid, I think in. Montreal goes by um liter gallon. >> Mhm. And I think like it used to be. like.7 cents or something. When it. reached a dollar, he didn't leave the. house. Like he was like like I'd be like, "Uncle Eddie, could you take me to my.

friend's house?" He's like, "Are you. kidding? Gas is a dollar. I'm going to. be downstairs." And he just didn't leave. his room. I grew up like those like like. the day in and the day out. Um. I don't know. It just affects me. It's. how I you know, even the way I purchase. things. If I'm going to buy something, it's I got I I I sold out a tour. I I. sold a show. I'm writing a book. Whatever it is, I take a little off the. top. I make sure it's something I love I. have forever.

and I buy it. And then the rest of it I. try and be careful with. >> What's the last thing you bought that. you loved? >> Uh. probably my backpack. >> Cool. >> I bought a designer backpack for tour. Um, and uh, you know, as a dyke like me, I don't buy purses or anything like. that, but a backpack is a kin. I've had. it almost a year and and I I don't see. it slowing down. >> That's a good investment. >> Yeah. Really good. No. >> Really good.

>> Yeah. >> All right. Um, you grew up the seventh. of 10 kids um, in an ultraorththodox. acidic family. >> You've described growing up in pretty. brutal terms. >> Brutal. What are your earliest memories of your. life in Crown Heights? >> Really bad. [snorts]. [sighs and gasps]. >> I don't speak too much to this, but I. can a little bit. Um, Crown Heights is. beautiful now. Um, but there were a lot. of robberies when we were kids, and I do.

remember, um, the summers are very hot. in New York for those, you know, as the. New York Times. I never get See the New. York Times mug. Are you getting that on. camera? I never You ask me if I'm. comfortable. The New York Times is in my. house. No, I'm not comfortable. I'm. always excited. The Times is the times. So, no, I'm not comfortable, but I'm. excited. I don't need to be so. comfortable. Back to the question. We in the summer didn't have air. conditioning, but my parents had in. their bedroom one air conditioner in the.

window, and it was so hot. Must have. been over 100°. Everybody was sleeping. in their underwear. My parents had the. 10 kids on the floor. Some in the bed. and others of us like on couch pillows. like you know quasi made mattresses and. we would sleep on the floor in our. underwear. I had you know memories. I. was very afraid of my father. My my my. my mother was uh my father was abusive. um to my mother. Uh you know I try.

speaking about this now I try and give. grace too. Not too much grace but not. you know my parents were very young when. they had us. You know my father was 35. with 10 kids. My mother was 30 with 10. kids. So they were under a lot of. pressure and stress. I'm not excusing. him but I don't know that he had the. proper resources to deal with anything. And I'm not sure how he was told to. manage his family in in in in the. systems that he was a part of the.

religious systems. Um so that's that. said he was very abusive and we kind of. made of him. >> What does that mean if I if you don't. mind my asking and you don't have to say. >> he was physically abusive to my mother. >> for years and so I kind of always. avoided him. Now he would he was not. physically abusive to us and in fact I. remember some bad fights he would speak. to us after and say you know but I would. never hit you but it's like but you hit. ma. it's like you hit ma. >> and my mother was the sweetest you know.

unbelievable wouldn't hurt a fly so it's. like well you you know it's like I don't. know we kind of like I just like I. remember seeing my f like I remember. once walking to the kitchen I was in. five six I don't even know young I. wanted an orange juice or snack and I. saw him sitting there and I saw him and. I go, "Oh, didn't see you there." And I, you know, and I would walk away like we. didn't have that sort of a relationship. I saw him and I'm like, "Oh, sorry. I. didn't see you there. I'll come back.". >> You know, so that was kind of a tiptoe.

time for sure. >> When did you realize you were funny? >> Probably. later. >> Later. Uh but my whole family, everybody. was funny. >> We just were all funny. My father was. very funny and my mother is hysterical. So everybody was funny. It was always. brutal and funny. >> like this. [clears throat].

[snorts]. And yeah, we laughed at each other. We. laughed at ourselves. We laughed at. everyone and anything. There was nothing. off limits. And if you saw something. funny nowadays that like, oh, you. shouldn't laugh at that. Like my brother. would hit you. See, look at this. Look, you know, like we would always catch. funny with each other. Like, oh, look, look what's going on there. Look what's. going on there. So, we were pointing, we. were looking, we were laughing. >> Was funny a way to deal with the hard. things? >> I'm sure. I'm sure it's cultural. I'm.

sure. Um, >> and you need to have rough There's a. roughness to comedy. It's It isn't. polite all the time. It's not sensitive. all the time. It's It's just funny. If. you grow up that way, >> um politeness and decorum is kind of to. the side because you can't you you can't. invest in those things necessarily. I. had a joke early on in my career, which. my friend Jess gives me a hard time. about. My sister worked at Starbucks.

and she. and sometimes I would meet her after. work and she would close up the shop. So. sometimes at midnight whenever I don't. know if it was 24 hours but it was like. till midnight [snorts]. and she would she lived in an apartment. four subway stops away and she would. walk home. She had two very long scary. blocks dead of the winter snow dark that. she would have to walk home. Not too. far, but not a comfortable walk home. But she would walk home in a very.

unflattering, and I don't know how to. say this that wouldn't be disgusting, that wouldn't be rude, that wouldn't be. offensive, but she would walk home in a. way that mimics somebody with um. physical disability. >> Okay? She would limp or do something. really crazy for the entire two walks to. make herself quote unquote less. desirable for a sexual predator. And. it's too bad that that's the way the. world is, but these are the safety.

concerns she did. And I used to say that. as a joke and I used to do her walk. I. don't do the walk anymore. But of. course, comedy isn't always comfortable. It's. her safe. It's like that was a defense. That was a protective defense mechanism. Okay. If sexual predators mostly men, thank you. They're mostly into young. able-bodied girls. She has to be not. that. So, it's not always.

it's not always polite and it's not. always comfortable. I think the idea of. comfort generally, even when you ask me. if I'm comfortable, is a rich thing. >> These are concepts. Even if you ask. somebody how they grew up, they won't. even tell you rich. They'll say, "We. were comfortable.". I've never heard the word growing up. Comfortable. What? We're not comfortable. Nobody is. comfortable. There's roaches in the. [ __ ] sink. I'm not comfortable. The.

snow is coming through the window. I got. to put cellophane on it. Nobody is. comfortable, right? And we're very. comfortable being uncomfortable. But the. rich are not and they dictate what is. comfortable and what isn't. They are. uncomfortable often. They don't talk. about things. Things like money they. don't talk about. They don't talk about. politics. Money whether I wanted to talk. about it or not. As a kid, we had one. one phone in the in the main when you.

walk into the house, it was a table with. a phone on it. That was the phone. And. my mother was screaming about money on. that phone from the morning till night. She doesn't have it. What's going to be? What's the how much does the bus passes? We heard everything. It's not like if I. didn't want to hear about it, it's it's. like the rich have their own siloed. rooms. It's not like I could go into the. other room and not hear her. >> Mhm. I heard her. It's basically one. room and the walls are thin as hell. Hold on. >> Adjust the mic. One second. Robbie, >> I hope you didn't lose all that. Nobody.

lost anything. >> Did you lose that, Joe? Joe, did you. lose all that? >> No, not at all. >> Joe Bill just won an Emmy. Are you. kidding? Muzzle top, my man. >> I saw your Emmy over there. >> Yeah, I got an Emmy over. >> Exactly. That's why I mentioned Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. [snorts]. >> No, totally. >> I hope you didn't lose that, Joe. >> No, we. >> now that you got your Emmy, I hope. you're not relaxing. You know what I. mean? Cuz then you go, I already got it. >> Yeah. >> So, what do we care if the sound works. or not? I'm kidding.

>> We're good. >> All right. I I want to stay with your upbringing. because I do think it's a source of a. lot of your comedy. >> Nothing uncomfortable. Are you going to. kill me? >> No. I I think it's actually really um. insightful. Go on. >> Okay. Thank you. Poor people know how to. chill. Once we are Okay, the house is a. [ __ ] hole. It's a dump. But it's Friday. night. People back from work, school's. out, whatever it is. You get [snorts]. into a poor person's house. You got the.

the chips on the table. Everybody's got. a Coke or a Sprite, whatever they want. Take take. You're sitting outside. You're shooting the [ __ ] It's a lot. more comfortable to hang in a poor house. than when I go to the rich houses. Like. I hate Somebody offered me, they said, "Oh, these people are going to Italy. You should come to the pool. Their house. is going to be empty. They're going to. Italy." It's like, I don't want to go to. that pool. I don't want to be in. somebody's house. They're not there. And. then I got to like I don't know if this, you know, it's just it's it's it's just. a little bit bizarre. I'll probably go.

to the pool, >> but it's not, you know what I mean? It's. not like the most. >> I don't know if I believe you that. you're not going to the pool. >> I might go to the pool, but I'm just. saying it's not like I'm like, ah, >> if one day is my pool, I'll be like a. little bit more ah, but I don't know if. I would do a pool anyway. It's a whole. other conversation. I think it's a lot. of maintenance probably. >> It is probably. Um, I want to ask you. one more thing about this period. Eventually,

you leave Crown Heights. You move down. to Florida. You're there for a little. bit and then your grandfather. >> Wow. How did you hear the Florida piece? I always skipped the Florida piece. We. were there for like a year, but Okay. You did your research. >> She's not [ __ ] around. She knows her. [ __ ] We're at the New York Times, baby. Okay. Go ahead. So your grandfather then. comes and rescues your mother from your. abusive father and you all move to. Canada. You leave your dad behind.

>> Yes. >> Did you become more secular at that. moment? Was that. >> what was it like to sort of move from a. religious community to a less religious. environment? >> So it wasn't overnight. Yeah, exactly. Transition is the exact word. You said. it good there. I was kosher till 19. >> Right. So I was still we were definitely. kosher in the house like you know I got. a muza here. I mean I'm not an animal so. there's still things you know I don't. need a d like like there's still.

remnants. I don't know that I totally. transitioned out when we left. We. weren't immediately. not religious. We were still religious. We moved to Montreal. In fact we moved. to a Montreal neighborhood that was the. same sect. You know, the the biggest. difference was not having the father in. the home, >> which meant my mother took on all of the. male religious commandments. She did the. the kdish, >> which is Friday night uh blessing over. the wine. Um and Saturday, she did the.

habda, which is the the the service at. the end of the Sabbath. Um she did all. the male things. And that is that is the. the the the law is if the father is not. in the home that the mother takes on um. you know a lot of the responsibilities. So was it something that you wanted to. break from the the religious. you know kind of um strictctures or was.

it something that you were battling. against or did you. >> Well I did with my family this was just. >> this is really you're asking about my. mother's battle. Yeah, >> my mother is the one who took us out of. that insular community. It's really her. story, that part of it. I was born into. it. So, I don't know that it was such a. battle. I just This was life. This was. the day in and the day out of life. For. my mother, >> she was starting to open up and say, >> "Is this what I want for my life? Is. this what I want for my kids' life?" My. brothers, for instance, were not.

learning English. They were learning. Yiddish and they were learning the Bible. Torah and they were not and my mother is. proficient in English. My mother is. potentially the be the most well- readad. person I've ever met in my whole life. So, she had a big dissonance between her. kids not being able to read the classics. later on. and like what am I doing to. these boys that they're only learning.

Bible and they're not learning their own. language. >> So there were things like that that my. mother has shared later that led her to. be like I don't want my kids living like. this beyond her own abuse and what she. was facing. She was thinking about what. kind of people are we going to be? >> Mhm. >> You end up going to a private Jewish. school on scholarship. Um, you said in. an interview that you had to find your. voice, that you had been sounding jappy. and those were your words in order to. fit in at high school. >> Okay. I wouldn't use such language. I.

would never use it. Shout out kidding. Yes. Yes. [laughter] Yes. Go ahead. [gasps]. >> [ __ ] shout out to the my Japanese fans. Nothing to do with you. Jewish American. princess. >> Yes. >> It's a derogatory term for Jewish girls, which I can use. Go ahead. Does anyone. give you a hard time back in the. interview? Oh, friend. Oh, really? Oh. yeah. Name names. Not. >> okay. After. Okay. Oh, I can't wait for. the tea. >> Um I was curious about when you gave up. that sort of pretense of trying to fit.

in with that crowd and that you had kind. of adopted this persona. >> It was another transition, >> right? >> It's also a teenage thing. It. >> I think many teenagers want to fit in. I. was already poor. I was the outsider. I. was going to this nice school which. still was a huge opportunity in the end. was a net positive and really did teach. me a lot. >> Okay, it was hard socio economically to. not fit in and feel looked down upon but. it also created a fire in me but.

um it was a transition. I remember I. really tried I got so lucky. So I'm. going to the school. I'm pretty I had a great figure. So I. tried to really there was two things. Not only was I hiding where I came from. and and my. uh the classism of it all, but I was. also hiding the boyishness of it all. >> I wanted to be feminine and girly and. don't I was always a loud kid. I was.

always annoying. I hated these things. about me. I still hate being annoying. and I'm working on it, but it is what it. is. Um, but it wasn't for girls to be. like if you were like if you were. outspoken as a girl or you it was just. like unladylike. and and and still like not hot, not. cool. So, I was kind of pushing that, too. And I kind of went the other way. Also, one of my good friends sat me down. probably in ninth grade and said like, I'm bringing down the group that like I.

can't wear a backpack anymore. >> [snorts]. >> I got to I got to have a purse, a tote. We're putting all our [ __ ] in a tote. We're not doing school bags anymore. >> And I was like, but these books are so. heavy. I can't do a one shoulder. >> I need both shoulders. I almost need the. clip here. You mean like these math. books? Are you kidding me? So, I remember she was like, "No, we got. you got to get a purse." Like, >> you're bringing down the group. >> You're bringing down the group. And. there was signs early on because the. purse I got was from Levis's. It was a.

used Levis. It was a green cordurerized. Levis's with a Levis's pocket. Um, and I would try and do things. I. wanted to, you know, and um. I I I I I tried like looking better or. more feminine or whatever and leaning. into my my uh. my looks and you know, and also talking. different, you know, cuz when I moved, I.

would say words like. orange, but you say orange. >> So, I remember doing that. Well, I'm. going to say orange. Not going to say. orange anymore. Orange is for losers, right? They know you're poor. If you say. orange, they know you're poor. Orange is. oat, >> right? So, stuff like that. And I did. that for a while. And I was kind of. always checking myself. And I think this.

is teenagehood in general, too. How I. sat to be feminine. Like, right, I. wouldn't sit like this cuz that's. boyish. So I would try and sit like. this. I would catch myself. I was always. thinking how I look, how I sound, how I. look, how I sound, how I look, how I. sound. >> And over time, as I came out, as I started standup, it. was all about like leaning back in. It. was all about like we're just going. 100%. I'm still When you're on stage, it.

gives you an excuse to be a,000% you. Another big transition for you. You were. actually outed when you were 17. In a. way that sounds like something out of. Mean Girls. >> Mhm. >> Bro, this was brutal. So, I had a girlfriend, Italian, and. this girl wanted to be out of the closet. with me, and I was like, "I'm not being. [ __ ] gay. Are you out of your mind? There's no way. I didn't look. I'm not. doing that. I I'm compete. I'm I'm doing.

well in school, getting a great job, and. that's going to be the end of that. I'm. not going to be doing all this gay [ __ ]. in my head. And so she would say fine. And I just like wouldn't talk to her in. public. You didn't want to come out at. this point because. you just didn't feel like it was. anyone's business or you were. >> and I don't even think I don't know how. long this is going to go. >> As soon as I found out I was gay, I was. already living on my own. I was already. having to make rent. I was in school. full-time. I was working basically full.

full-time, too. I was living a really grown-up life and. I just could not have another thing, >> you know, and I was a very good kid by. this point. I was taking school very. seriously. So, I didn't go out too much, but I went out. This is where it gets. sloppy. So, we went to the student bar. and I was with all my friends. and. she was with hers. So, then at some. point, I think she texted me her in the. bathroom. So, I went to meet her in the.

bathroom. So, we [snorts] went into the. stall together. There's a line, you. know, the bathroom. So, finally, we got. a stall. We get in the stall together. and we're making out in the stall. We're. 17. Who cares? And uh the door sprung. open. and in and and so we were left like we. pulled our embrace apart. and a girl that I had gone to school. with part of the Jewish community saw me.

this popular girl. >> didn't see me kissing but something was. what was going on and yeah by the next. day it felt like everybody knew it felt. like the scene from a walked to her. Remember I was just walking through the. cafeteria and everybody was like [sighs]. >> like she's [ __ ] gay. >> So really I really thought I'm like. lucky to be here. I really thought I I. it was the worst time in my life. I lost. all my friends overnight.

at 17. >> Wow. >> Yeah. All but two. My friends told me. they thought it was just weird. And uh I don't know, it was yeah, they. just thought it was weird. And again, it. wasn't a time where nobody was gay. It. just we were in still a pretty. conservative environment. And then I had. uh a couple friends, my friend Malay, shout out to Malay, she messaged me, "Yo. dog, like I don't care what's going on. Here to talk if you want." And then my.

friend Ally, whose mother was always. nice, she was like, "I don't give a. [ __ ] Whatever. I hear stuff's going on. I don't have You can talk to me. You. don't have to talk to me." There was a. couple people who were a bit of a. lifeline. >> That's terrible. >> It was really bad. >> All right. You eventually go to McGill. You study accounting. >> Yep. >> You started doing standup. >> Yeah. >> And you were getting your um first. steady paychecks as an accountant after. you graduated. But you continued doing.

standup going by Rifka, your given name, at work, and Robbie in the comedy clubs. Can you talk me through that? Was that. like an alter ego? You saw them as two. different people or. >> No. No, it wasn't like a Beyonce Sasha. Fierce. It was literally a practical. decision. Um, my name was Rifka, but I. didn't want the accounting firm to think. that I did stand up or I wasn't living. for the firm because it was a very big. culture at these professional jobs that. like you live and die for this firm.

Like, so when I started standup, I. didn't want really people knowing that I. was leaving to do standup, like leaving. at 7:00 p.m. to go do standup shows. So, I just didn't want my name on any flyers. or anything. So, that's why I went with. Robbie. >> Um, it was my uncle's name. It was an R. initial. >> I watched a TEDex talk you gave in 2014. >> I hate that that's still up there. It's. It makes me cringe beyond. But go ahead. I don't know why I. >> as someone who researched you, I found.

this to be very first of all, it was. poignant. It was good. Good job, younger. Rob. I don't know why I'm salty about. [ __ ] I shouldn't even be salty about. I. look for problems. This is what I do. To. complain is to enjoy for me. And and so. I can't even look at something good and. say, "You know what? That was a good. thing. Fine. >> So, one thing you said is comedy chooses. you. Oh, yeah. >> And you also said the stage understands. me and it's where I'd like to live. >> It's crazy cuz I'm like the most. uncomfortable to bring it back to. comfort. Like probably one-on-one,

probably like little small talks or kind. of little dinner parties or something. like that where I can be a little bit. socially. But on stage when everything. goes black in the room and the lights. are on me, I feel like I'm in a womb. I. feel like like I'm free and I always. worked small and then bigger bigger. bigger and now I'm working in large. I. feel like you know like there's some. artists who paint still lives on on 8. by10 canvases and small works and then. there's like the Jackson Pollocks that. need like a bucket of paint splashing.

from here to the other room onto a. canvas the size of this rug. >> And I feel like I'm like these stages. are those I'm working ma in massive. scale now much bigger scale. And I feel. at [ __ ] home really. >> I'm like these theaters are my [ __ ]. >> Why do you think that is? >> I don't know. It's amazing. I I don't. know how to explain it better than that. But um I do think that comedy chooses. you. >> I think you can choose it and the people. who choose it, you know, some of them. you can tell they chose it and it didn't.

choose them and you know, it's. everybody's on their own journey. But I. also, you know, it's very difficult cuz. as soon as I started standup, I was. like, I got to do this now. like this is. really throwing a wrench into my plan. I. was going to marry good, get a good job, and just live. like like middle class, like whatever, like like you know, just just. consistently live. [snorts]. maybe have a condo,

have a husband that now I'm gay, now the. job's going, now I got to I have to. really consider pursuing art, which. seemed like the poorest thing you could. do. >> And I'm trying not to be poor anymore. And now I'm like, I could be really. poor. Like, this is no joke, Rob. But I. just I felt like it was a calling. because Yeah. I I don't want to I wanted. not to be but but it was like well I do. have this shot and I do have it so.

I I can't believe it but I have to do. this. You said earlier that growing up. nothing was too taboo to joke about and. you know in your comedy it is true. nothing is off limits in your material. You said in a recent interview that. anyone can do anything. I just want to explore a little bit. about like how you think about. >> your your comedy. >> Okay. Yeah. >> You know, do you mean you don't have to. be part of a group to make fun of it?

You know, >> I think anyone could do anything, but. you're at your own risk. >> So, for instance, Chappelle can joke. about trans people. He's not trans. It's. not on the trans spectrum, but he can he. can do it. But people can clap back. M I. don't think there's I think you can do. whatever the hell you want, but also. know that it could perceive be perceived. by people however the hell they want. How do you think about what you would or.

wouldn't do? Because you've joked about. AIDS, pedophilia, late term abortions. Um [laughter]. >> is there something that Yeah, I know. that that's quite a list. >> You got to go listen to the jokes. You. can't just. >> No, exactly. I I want to I want to make. that clear. Yeah. >> Got to go listen to the jokes. >> It's hard to talk about comedy actually. out of context. I will. >> Thank you. Please. >> I want I want to say, but is there. something that you won't joke about or. haven't found the right way to joke.

about? >> I'm sure I I don't know how to answer. that. Um I I really joke about jokes. come to you. It's it's it's. divine. It's it's I don't choose idea. Where do idea it gets philosophical. Where does an idea come from? Yes, it, you know, you're informed by your life. and all of the experiences and then one. day you're walking, you're like, "Oh, that would be funny." Oo, can I do that? Can I not? Well, I have to try. >> Is there like a Robbie Hoffman.

joke? Like, is there because you have a. very distinctive style. All the great. comics do, right? Like, I'm I'm just. trying to get. >> you be you'd be better able to describe. what Robbie Hoffman comedy is like than. me. It's very hard for me to objectively. see myself. >> It's fair. >> You know, it's like whatever I talk. about, it's cuz it came to me. It there. wasn't it wasn't that deep. Um it can go. deep as I explore the topic. Um and. often times probably I've been told that. it's like not what you expect.

>> How do you feel about being. controversial? Because you said that. people can be make jokes and people also. have a right to clap back. I mean, you. know, there is this continuum where the. more famous you get, the more scrutiny. you get, the more backlash you get. Um, I can see that throughine in your career. already. I mean, you just had the. Celiacs come after you. >> Yeah. The only two community. the only two communities that have come. after me hysterically enough have been. the pitbull community after the uh.

special in which I said some of the I. talked about some of the topics you. listed so elegantly a couple a couple. minutes ago. Um the pit bulls came out. of all the things I said in that special. raising the age of abortion till 10. years old. The pitbull people came after me. Turns. out they're as scary as the dog. I did. not know this. Okay. My only thing. really with the pitull was always like. it's always the first time, right? The. dog never attacked nobody before.

[laughter]. I come to find out a week later the dog. ms the girl to [ __ ] death. They don't. know. They don't know what happened. The only. other people to come after me is the. celiac community. I mean, you can't make. this stuff up, right? And celiac is a. real disease that affects mostly. white women who are privileged to have. health care to get the diagnosis, right? Um people of color uh tend to be.

less aware or not diagnosed with these. things as much because they lack health. care unfortunately in this country. So. it was a funny, you know, I was asked a. silly question about it. I was asked. about gluten in a in a hard-hitting. interview with Color Daddy and I. responded jokingly as I always do, but. uh nothing more serious than that. But. of course, rich white women came after. me as you know, they're at the helm of. both the pitbull and the celiac.

community. So that made sense for me. But of all the things that I've ever. said, >> rich white women are at the head of the. pitbull community. >> Yeah. They like to rescue dogs. which is great. I'm just joking, right? Uh just like I joked about those other. things, you know, they're not upset. It's amazing that. more people from other communities. haven't. It's always like the people who. are like. I I don't know. I have a problem, too.

It's like, yeah, we all have problems, [ __ ] It's fine. You know, it's kind. of like. I shouldn't get in trouble. I will get. in trouble for this, but. it's kind of like how I feel about. anti-semitism. Like anti-semitism is. bad. I don't want anti-semitism. I get. that. But is it the worst thing? No. To me, right now it's not. especially living in a country where.

there's massive anti-Mexican. sentiment and Mexican people are. currently being rounded up or made to. fear that they're going to be rounded. up. So, sorry if I'm not screaming as. much about anti-semitism as you want me. to. Right now, I have bigger focuses on. on some of my neighbors that are going. through horrendous. anti- um you know, anti-Mexican. sentiment. So, yes, it's bad, but I'm.

not such a person that thinks, "Oh, I'm. going to live a life free of any. problems." You ask me about being. offended with my comedy and all this. stuff. Okay? I don't think being offended is the. worst thing. I think being poor is. for me. >> Offended. Some people expect to go. through a life of not being offended, I. guess. Not me. I was born offended. My. whole circumstance was [ __ ]. offensive.

Again, like I said, if I hit your. community, I'm also hitting my. community. They're hitting me. You're. hitting me. It's all fair game. It. doesn't mean anything more than that, but that it's a more inclusive approach. I'm including everybody. Nobody is. above. I was asked a question. Would I. go out of my way to talk about celiacs? Never in a million years. I don't even. want to know about it. Okay, that said, did I happen to bring more awareness to. Celiac than everybody than anybody else. has? Look what that did in the end. how. many people are more aware of it. So. look at God. He sends us gifts in ways. we don't understand. But yeah,

everything is fair game. Um and I don't. expect to live a life not being. offended. And I don't think I think it's. okay for something to bristle you and to. make you think something or feel. something or react somehow. >> Well, you're articulating a Robbie. Hoffman joke. I mean in in a real way. you're articulating something. >> that you. >> like to make people I don't like. I just. do. I guess my existence it's not like I. like I didn't set out to do anything.

I'm acting in the moment reacting to. stuff that you know it's not that. serious. I'm not a journalist. I'm not. from the New York Times. I'm a comedian. You know what I mean? So I might not. know everything and I'm wrong a lot and. that's fine too. I'm not expecting to be. right all the time. not expecting to. live an offensive free life. I just. don't have expectations like this. >> So, I guess just to bring it back. >> So, I'm not trying to do anything but. just be me. >> Mhm. >> And when I get an idea, bring it to you. >> All right. Um, we only have a few.

minutes left. >> Love you. I'm have a good time, actually. >> Good. Me, too. >> Um, you're in the TV show Hacks, which. just ended. >> What's the experience meant for you? >> Oh, amazing. It changed my life. >> I mean, it changed my life. I'm Emmy. nominated actor now. >> Congratulations. >> Um, thank you. Six lines, an Emmy by the. grace of God. Um, and yeah, it's just it's been an. amazing experience. I don't know. It's.

just it's everything you would want. A. part written for you and gets you an. Emmy nom. It's amazing. >> I have no complaints there. >> I was really entertained by a recent. article. >> Oh, good. um where I saw the headline, how hacks botched its Yiddish line. It. was in response to a cutaway gag from. one of the last episodes of Hacks, the. scenes, just a few seconds and you say. line in Yiddish. And the author wrote. that the line was grammatically. incorrect and then said very archly.

quote as any fluent Yiddish speaker will. confirm. [music]. >> I asked my mother how to say what was it. free? I was using the word fry and my. mother said machinum. So I add the first part of the line. which maybe was grammatically incorrect. Who cares? A comedia. It's not a very. used word in Yiddish to say a comedy. show. It's kind of an Englishism in. Yiddish. So it's like.

this is what annoys me about Jews. It's. like they want me to speak about. anti-semitism. We get Yedish onto the. show and then this Jewish publication. has an issue with the Yiddish. So yeah, I may have gotten the grammar wrong on. there, but my mother got the word right. and it's like which any Yiddish speaker. would know. My mother is fluent in. Yiddish. She I asked her one word on the. phone. She doesn't need to be indicted. for this. Feels like it hurt you. >> No. Bothered me. Annoyed. You see, it.

goes to your thing of like uh with more. fame, you know, you have like the. scrutiny and you know, my little sister. gets excited about all these things cuz. she's like, "We're going up up up up. up." You know, when you have the hater, she's like, "You have to start having.". So, she gets excited with all these list. because it means they care, >> right? Like, if they if I'm being. scrutinized, well, I'm not a nobody to. be scrutinized anymore. They wouldn't. scrutinize me if I was a nobody, but I'm. somebody now. Everything I say is did. she did she come on we have other fish.

to fry. >> All right we are going to talk again but. Thursday. >> for now. [music]. >> Yeah. >> Thank you so much. >> Thank you so much. Thank you guys. >> On the interview we talked to our. [music] guest twice. So a few days later. I spoke with Robbie Hoffman again and. asked her about the pressure of becoming. more famous, her high-profile. relationship with her wife Gabby Wendy. and more. Hi. Nice to see you again. >> Nice to see you again. [laughter]. >> You're stretching cuz you're on the.

you're on the East Coast now. >> Yes, I worked last night. >> Um, what does that mean? Were you doing. standup? >> Yeah. >> Oh, fun. How was it? >> Really good, actually. It's been good. It was It was a late night, but it was a. good night. Oh, this is pulling, but I'm. good. I'm good. I'm good. >> Okay. Um, you know, one of the reasons I. wanted to talk to you is not only. because I've [clears throat] admired. your work, but I'm also really. interested in transition periods in. people's lives. And we spoke about sort. of many of yours in our first.

conversation. and about how this moment you've become. a lot more famous and there's a real big. period of transition for you now. >> Yeah, that's true. And I, you know, and. I just sort of wondered because of that, you know, we did talk about in our first. conversation some of the criticism that. you might have received. And I wonder if. it just feels hard to deal with. I would say, you know, I'm so used to so. many changes. My career has again been.

very slow and steady. I think that by. the time you're ready for a promotion, it might be too late. So, I think I I'm. ready. But it is interesting. You know, the whole point is I'm new to this. I. think people are curious about that. Um. I'm new to this and you know, I don't. want anyone or I don't need anyone. coming for me. But I think what the the. big thing for me as I navigate this next. level is like what why am I successful? Why are my shows successful? Why does.

everybody come together? And I think. it's because I don't need to be a part. of like this big machine of of of, you know, this big machine of like. dividing us by having us squabble about. this and that, the red and the blue of. it all. You know what I mean? I'm like, it's enough partaking in petty squables. when we have bigger [ __ ] going on. >> You know what I mean? And if you want. the us versus them, at my core, it's. always been about.

the rich versus the poor. >> And that's what we, you know, I think we. need to to focus on. I always bring it. back to that. You know, I think struggle. brings us together. And I've just been. screaming about this since growing up. the way I grew up. And whenever somebody. tries to like grab me into their thing, it's no problem. I'm happy to be a part. of a billion communities, but I don't. need to get lost in the tit for tat. Part of your fame is also compounded by. your relationship with Gabby Wendy, who. you married last year.

>> She's unbelievable. Thank God for her. >> Yeah, she was on the Bachelor and. Bachelorette. Um, and she was also a. Breakout on the Traders, which I love. The Bambies. Um, >> oh yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Okay, I've got a question first. Did you. think she was traitor material or did. you always see her as a faithful? >> I thought she was a faithful. She. doesn't need all the stress of lying. The problem is we can't really lie. That's probably why we get in trouble. sometimes. We say this, we say that. Some people ask me like, "Oh, you would. be on the show." I'd be out first. Like, I would literally be out first. First of.

all, I'd be like, "I'm a traitor. You. got to get rid of me." Like, I would be. too nervous. Like, I would need to go. home. I don't have the temperament for, you know, I'm simultaneously, again, the. most nervous and confident person. I. don't know how that happened either, but. I'm always this dichomous. not I'm always non-binary. Not just in. the gender sense. I'm Canadian. I'm. American. I'm nervous. I'm confident. The whole thing is a disaster. So, I. don't think I have the temperament for. that show. That said, she is a fighter.

She did amazing. And I said when she. would call, I got one one call a week. with her and I was just safe. Just take. the money and come home. [ __ ] them. Just. This is a game and that's that. >> I don't know if you can swear. [snorts]. >> Yeah. >> Really? Oh, I'm I'm stuck again, Seth. My hair is stuck. >> Seth will come and save you. >> He keep I have a man in my hotel room. It's been a minute, I got to say, since. I've had a man in my hotel room.

>> I lost my [clears throat] virginity. actually with a man in a New York City. hotel room. >> I think the bobby pin's doing the job. So, I'm just going to remove this clip. alto together. >> Okay, fantastic. You got it. Okay. Sorry about that. >> Thank you for sharing that. >> Yeah. Um. >> fine. Three thrusts maybe. [sighs and gasps]. [laughter]. >> Okay. Um so back to Gabby, your wife. Um. I've seen you talk about her with so.

much love um and so much respect. It's. it's actually incredibly beautiful. >> Thank you. Have you had to figure out. what a good relationship looks like. because of the chaos of your upbringing, the chaos of her upbringing? Yeah, of. course. I mean, I'm, you know, we met in. our 30s because of the ways we grew up. Like, I grew up, yes, single mom. household, poor, but I did have a, in a. way, a pretty stable I know I moved from. New York to Montreal and there was that.

stint to Miami, which you caught Lulu. doesn't miss anything. But um my mother. was home. >> 24/7. Every day this woman was cooking. and cleaning, cooking and cleaning, cooking and cleaning. I knew every day. where my mother was to this day. If I. got to go find my mother, I know exactly. where she is. Gab didn't have that. Gab didn't have that. Gab had, you know, maybe, you know, a parent who was not. there. oftentimes didn't know where the.

parent was, you know, then went to live with her. dad. But I'm just saying she didn't have. that consistency. So Gab used to think. that bringing up something with me would. be that I would leave if she had if she. thought I was annoying, which we've. established I've long been annoying and. I apologize. [snorts] So she used to. like if if something hurt her feelings. or if I don't know, she didn't like the. way that I did something. if I left the. cabinet open some. It could be tiny. She.

just wouldn't say because she wouldn't. want me to go away. But I was like, I'm. not. Babe, I'll close the cabinets. It's. just insane. We can't live like this. Try me. Try me. So, she had to get. comfortable trusting that. And I had to. get comfortable that she was tepid about. everything. So, um, it just worked. It's. kind of like it's not our job to heal.

each other. Um but. you know through the relationship we are. healing each other. It's not the job but. it's the cherry and it's just really. nice to like design kind of the life you. want to live. It's like I've said with. Gab when I was a kid and I hated my. brothers. I would just come home and. complain about my brothers all the time. and my mother would say, "You don't. choose your family. They're your. brothers.". And then I realized there's a loophole. If I marry Gabby, I choose my family. That's the one time you choose your.

family. >> Choose wisely. >> Last question. Um, the theme. >> Oh, that's it. Last question. >> Yeah. Yeah. Hey, we're just so um. >> the thing that you've made clear I think. throughout our entire conversation is. that class is at the center of how you. want to communicate um your comedy, your. work. And you know, it made me really. reflect about in many ways how America. always wants to present itself as so. aspirational and to hide the ugliness,

the trauma, the poverty that underlies. it all. And I think what makes you so. provocative is that you are really. trying to put that front and center in a. way that I don't think many people are. Um, have you felt that dissonance? Have. you um do you feel. >> Yes, I do feel it that especially doing. more oats or elites publications. That's. why I'm nervous like with the times or. things like this. You know, I'm always. You asked me if I was comfortable in my. own house last time. No, I'm not.

comfortable. So, I just think that like. I'm cognizant to just always be me, stand what I stand for no matter what. And we can start really changing the. focus to not be distracted and to focus. on. us, not you versus me or this or that. It's just classism affects everybody. the conversation. Basically, to answer. your question simply, it shouldn't be a.

new conversation. It's it's a big. conversation and it's the conversation. >> I don't know if that's even more. succinct. >> That's very succinct. >> What do you think, Seth? He nodded. Do. you think that's succinct? >> Py? What's pathy and succinct? >> Py is short. Succinct is also short. >> I'm glad the producer I'm glad. >> Seth shout out to Seth who's literally. sitting on the floor in my hotel room. I. wish. Can we pull the camera here? >> All right. Um, Robbie Hoffman, thank you.

so much. I've really appreciated your. time. That's it. >> Okay. Oh my god, we're finally done. Okay. Thank you, Lulu. Thank you to. everyone. Uh, Joe, Emmy winning Joe. Thank you. >> Thank you. [music] I appreciate you. >> I appreciate you. Thanks, guys. >> I'm Lulu Garcia Navaro. and I'm [music]. David Maresy. >> and we're the hosts of the interview, an. audio and video [music] podcast from the. New York Times. >> Every week we interview fascinating and. influential people from all walks of.

life. >> Subscribe to our YouTube channel so. you'll never miss an episode.