The Secret To A Good Nights Sleep with Stephanie Romiszewski | E64

They just don't have the education. So. our own doctors do not have enough. education is something that we do a. third of our lives. If you are waking up. in the middle of the night and it's been. happen to you over and over again to. resolve the habit, you're going to have. to. [Music]. sleep. It's a thing that we all do every. day, but for some reason in our society, it's still a little bit of a mystery. How many hours should we be sleeping? What is sleep debt? Is there a perfect.

sleep routine? Should I wake up at a. certain time? Why do I get sleep. paralysis, insomnia? Why do I have these. dreams? My next guest, Stephanie. Ramoski, worked with NASA and Harvard. Medical School to understand these. questions. Stephanie currently works as. a sleep physiologist, helping people. cure and understand their insomnia and. sleep disorders. So, without further. ado, my name is Steven Bartlett and this. is the Diary of a CEO. I hope nobody is. listening, but if you are, then please. keep this to yourself.

[Music]. Stephanie, the first question I wanted to ask you, and I've got millions and millions of. questions to ask you because this is a a. topic which I, as I said before we. started chatting on air, um has really. piqu an interest over the last three. years. I've never had so many of my. friends in my sort of close circle ask. me questions about sleep, send me. articles about sleep. And I don't know. what's happened, but as a nation and as.

a as a species, I think we've got really. really curious about this idea of sleep. and also its importance. The first. question I wanted to ask you was how. important sleep is. But I think a better. way to understand that and the answer is. to actually look at the consequences. you've seen in your line of work um for. people that have bad sleep or that have. insomnia. Um so could you speak to that. a little bit? I can. That's a big big question. Um,

what I have seen over the last 16 years. of my career is not people coming in. dying because they aren't sleeping or uh. with really really significant. illnesses. I've seen people very. anxious, very stressed, very low because. their sleep is poor and they are. extremely worried about it. And I've. seen people who are, you know, at the. top of their game and doing really well. in life but are completely crippled by. these sleep problems. But it is the fear.

of bad things, worse things happening to. them that is keeping them as stressed. and upset as they are. So it's quite. interesting because I think the the. things that bring people to me to get. their sleep treated are exactly that. that fear is actually what I'm trying to. alleviate rather than um fixing their. sleep because I think they're going to. get so sick that something terrible is. going to happen to them. Um so it's a really interesting question. to ask. How does sleep affect us? The. reality is we actually we or why do we.

sleep? We don't know actually why we. sleep. We know what happens when we. don't sleep. But I think we're getting. very very confused between those of us. that struggle with sleep and those that. are actively depriving themselves of. sleep like the CEO who says, "I'll sleep. when I'm dead," for example. Sure. Um, but you know, those of us who. are actively trying to sleep when we. can't and we will do anything and we we. we make our sleep opportunities larger.

and we still can't get sleep. We're not. depriving ourselves of sleep. We're. doing anything we can to get sleep. So, I I worry about the amounts out there. about sleep at the moment and the way. that it's the information is being. disseminated because I think that's. where we're going a bit wrong and all. the tracking of sleep and all the tech. that comes out. I'm not saying it's it's. a bad thing. I'm just saying that it's. almost like we haven't quite caught up. with all the information that we have. and we can't cope with it quite the way.

we need to. So you you speak about the. tech that we have now, Apple watches, all these little, you know, smart. devices that are telling us how many. hours a day we're sleeping. And also, there's, you know, books. There's. probably a couple books on the shelf. behind me about the perfect night's. sleep or the perfect morning routine or. the perfect time to wake up. Where is. the [ __ ]. Oh my god. Again, another massive. question. Um, there is so much of it. It's it's all it's so nuanced. you're. going to have to ask me some specifics. because there is so much there that.

actually is I mean well the first thing. the biggest thing I would say is you. know going to bed at exactly the same. time every night dictating your bedtime. is probably the worst piece of advice. I've ever heard and sends people off on. all sorts of different tangents which. does not help if anything it makes their. insomnia worse because they go to bed in. the dark not able to sleep getting more. anxious heart rate going up. what should they do instead. stay up until they're sleepy. Don't. worry about it. Enjoy yourself. Relax.

Do the things that you probably don't. get time to do because you're busy doing. all the other things during the day. Is the problem I have with that. approach, which is the approach that I. think I've adopted maybe a little bit. too much or incorrectly is if I stayed. up doing the things that I want to do. What happens is I'll stay up till 7 a.m. just looking at YouTube videos and. learning about rockets and looking at. like stocks to invest in and stuff. That's that's me to a tea. At some point. I have to put my laptop down and be like. Steve just you're going to feel awful. tomorrow if you carry on looking at this.

investment fund that you think is. interesting. Yeah absolutely to to a degree you can I. mean we can manipulate our bodies to do. anything in a lab I could manipulate. your body to sleep when I wanted it to. sleep. Um but that's taking away all the. environmental factors all the behavioral. factors of your life. Um and what you're doing now you know. what it's not the end of the world. You. know you're obviously coping with it and. you're healthy. Um the problem is you. probably won't be able to sustain that. and unfortunately we are built in such a. way that kind of goes with the the light. dark cycles on this planet. Um and so to.

a degree you are sort of going against. that and unfortunately we've got lots of. other we've got lots of research showing. that after a while you just can't do. that forever without implication. Um so it's not I mean if you think about. it insomnia is just a different pattern. of sleep. You've just trained your brain. to sleep differently and you're still. surviving with it. It's just that most. of us don't like that because it's not. the rest of society in the way that. they're sleeping. Um, and our friends. are sleeping and and and it feels like. we're the only ones awake in the night.

I bet if you didn't have all those. things to do and you weren't the way you. were and you were up at night and. everybody else around you is asleep, it. would start to feel like a very lonely. um, anxious place. We're not very. rational at night. We're not really made. to think in the middle of the night. So, we're not incredibly rational. So, I. don't think it's the end of the world. what you're doing. But at the same time, put it this way, I treat a lot of. entrepreneurs when they've retired and. they're still fairly young but not in a. good place because they have not.

followed anything that was fairly going. along with what our physiological. processes want to do. Our bodies are all. about regulation. We have clocks in. every cell in every part of our body. Um, and they like regulation. They like. time. They like the timing of things to. be ready. um and and regular. And when. we keep changing those goalposts, it. might seem like we're being uber. flexible, but actually the reality the. reality is is that later on down the. line, you'll probably find that you. won't be able to cope with it as much.

And how how how does that manifest. itself for me? So. So for you, if you just carried on the. way you were, then unfortunately, yeah, we probably would see that um maybe you. were getting less sleep than you needed. Um it probably would be harder for you. maybe when you settled into a routine. where you were working at around the. same hours every day. Say you got a. certain kind of uh role that you had to. do which made you know you had to have a. certain schedule. You might find it. quite difficult after a while to stick. to that schedule. Um you might find that.

you aren't able to sleep as much as you. want. The duration and the quality will. be impaired. And so you might start all. the research around sleep and and how. important it is for you. You might start. noticing things like your cognitive. abilities are less. So your memory, things like that. Um your ability to uh. produce cytoines, so the proteins that. help us with um uh keeping ourselves. healthy and uh keeping uh inflammation. at bay and things like that, all those. kind of things will be reduced. your.

healing. So when you go and weight. training or something like that or you. go to the gym and you want your muscles. to repair, they're not going to be able. to do that so well. And of course that. over time, short term, it's not a. problem. Over time, long term, that's. when we start worrying about more. significant illnesses and um disorders. that are happening as we get older. And. so that's why we see lots of research. showing that as we get older, maybe some. of these things like Alzheimer's might. be related to how we treated our sleep.

when we were younger. However, I hate. it. I hate mentioning things like that. because I think it frightens people. And. the problem is with frightening people. is that they go into what they think is. most logical things to do. So, they. might go away after this podcast and. think, "Oh my god, I've just got to go. away and get my 8 hours because the rest. of the information is telling them out. there that they've got to get this 8. hours of sleep every night." Um, and of. course, they can't just get that. You. can't dictate to your body how it. sleeps. There is a process. It follows. it. And so, unfortunately, you can never.

force yourself to sleep. You can force. yourself not to sleep. And that is. partly how you fix a sleep problem, but. you can never force yourself to sleep. But you can induce anxiety and stress. and depression through that and lack of. sleep. So yeah, in um well if you're an expert in this. field so you must as you kind of spoke. to there you must get pretty I can feel. it when you're speaking get pretty. pissed off when you see unhelpful. information um being pushed on I don't. know social media or online or through. books these sort of simplified.

narratives. What are some of the most um. common misconceptions that you speak to. your patients about? You mentioned one. there about this like eight hours of. sleep being the optimal. Yeah. And even. when I put out on my Instagram earlier, what are the key questions you want to. ask? Um I'm speaking to a sleep. therapist expert today. Um I'd say the. vast majority or at least the medium. question was uh do I need to get exactly. seven or eight hours sleep. every single night? Um yeah, so that is. definitely the biggest one we get. Um.

you do not that perfection is the enemy. of the good. Have you ever heard that. term? Because at the end of the day it's. true. Yes, your body loves consistency. and regulation, but that does not mean. you have to get 8 hours of sleep every. night. Think about it differently. Think. about it over a month, for example. We. love this idea of the way the way we. look at time is slightly different to. the way your body looks at time. And. over a month, you might actually be all. right. So maybe one night you get six. and a half hours, the next night you get. seven and a half, and then the next. night you might get slightly different.

As long as it's fairly consistent and. maybe 80% of the time you're doing. fairly well and you're you're giving. yourself the right opportunity to sleep, that's okay. Your body's going to do, you know, it will do what it needs to. do. And and with that, a caveat to that. is this understanding of sleep debt. So, we don't understand sleep debt properly. People think it's an eye for an eye. I. lose 4 hours, I must gain 4 hours. Well, what happens when your body being as. efficient as it is doesn't actually need. you to gain an extra 4 hours of sleep to. recover you? your expectation is that it.

should. And when your expectation. doesn't get met, you get upset about it. and you change your behavior. And that's. when you start getting sleep problems. When the reality is your brain is so. smart that even in the certain amount of. hours that you get normally at night, it. can recover you from that sleep. deprivation by just improving or. increasing the sleep stage that it. thinks you missed the most, for example. But because we have a lack of education, we believe we don't get some sleep, we. need to regain that sleep. And when we. don't regain that sleep, that's when the.

anxieties and the stresses over not. sleeping start. So that's a big one, the. sleep debt one. The other one is this. idea that fatigue and sleepiness are the. same things. So yes, when we don't sleep. well, we get a lot of fatigue. So. fatigue is anything from feeling like. your body needs to rest to needing to. shut your eyes to pain to your brain. buzzing because you've been working so. hard for like 48 hours straight and you. don't know what to do with yourself. But. the only definition of sleepiness is the. ability to shut your eyes and within a.

few minutes you're falling asleep. So if. you were saying to me right now, Steph, I am so so sleepy. I'd probably say to. you, well, you don't look it. because right now you don't look tired. in the way that I would expect you to be. falling asleep. I mean, you wouldn't be. able to sit still. You you would be sort. of probably your eyes would be shutting. all the time, dozing off, having little. micro sleeps. That's sleepiness. And. that's what we should really be. understanding as a cue to sleep. So in. the evenings, if you're not feeling. that, then don't be don't be worried.

Give yourself permission to stay up. later because you can't dictate what. happens to you during the day. And there. are so many variables that affect your. sleep. You are never going to be able to. control of them. Having good sleep. hygiene. How many good sleepers do you. know have it? So good sleep hygiene is. all these things that we get told we. should do. So, the 10 top things that. you should do, have a warm bath, never. drink coffee ever again, um never have. alcohol, you know, all these things that. you're supposed to do. But if you look. at good sleepers, are they following all. those things? No, they're not. And.

they're still sleeping really well. And. that's to show that most of the time. sleeping poorly comes down to brain. training and the patterns we get. ourselves into. you start going to bed. early, you might be able to get to sleep. earlier, but you're probably not going. to be able to uh have that sleep all the. way through the night because at some. point or another, your body's going to. be like, "Well, you've had enough now.". But your expectation is you should be. able to sleep till 7 and why didn't I. sleep till 7:00? Or if you lie in, you. keep changing the goalpost of your wake. up time, which is the most important.

thing that you should be looking at, not. your bedtime. Um, if you keep changing. that goalpost, your body doesn't know. when to feed you. It doesn't know when. to make you feel alert because you. you've changed everything. And so, of. course, you're not going to be sleepy at. the right time in. the time you wake up is the the a much. more important time to be focused on. Yes. The things your morning routine is. going to be way more important than your. evening routine when it comes to your. sleep at night. But be-c because people. see that as a far away time compared to.

when you go to sleep, they don't really. focus on it. In fact, haven't we been. taught in this society that lying in is. a luxury? I can't believe that we have. made it okay at the weekend to lie in so. much, but during the week, one of the. only things that gets us up is work. It. makes absolutely no sense to me. I'm not. saying it's the worst thing in the. world. I'm not saying I never lie in, but I don't use it as a compensatory. method for a bad night's sleep because. that's when you're going to get into. trouble. cuz that's kind of throwing your your. your schedule off. Is that what you're.

saying? Yeah. So if you lie in on the. weekends and you're going to pay for it. at some other point, right? Yeah. Why are we not looking, you know, if you have to lie in so significantly. every single weekend, why are we not. looking at during the week and thinking, why am I doing this to myself at the. time when I need it the most, I will. choose to get less sleep and then at the. weekend I'll just compensate. And people and you much of the. conversation around sleep in society. talks about the amount of hours and it's. almost like the amount of hours that I.

was in the bed. M. um what what's your sort of rebuttal to. that? Cuz. quality over quantity every single time. Every single time. And if you have good. quality and you need longer, your body. will tell you and you will get more. sleep. But people are so obsessed with. duration. And I I think people don't. understand what I mean by sleep. opportunity. I mean every single night, most of the time, so about 80% of the. time, I will give myself a 7 to eight.

hour sleep opportunity, sleep window. But I do not mean that if I'm not. sleepy, I take myself into a dark room. and shut myself down. I just know that. it's there. I've got a bedroom, a place. I really want to be to sleep that is. available to me during those hours and I. will not sleep outside those hours. And. that's the that is the big thing is you. can dictate to your body when you don't. sleep but you cannot dictate when you. do. And by doing that you will force. your body to be in a nice regular cycle.

It's actually really really simple once. you know how to do it. And every time I. fix someone of their insomnia there and. honestly 50 60 years of insomnia they. often turn around to me they're like I. don't know why I wasn't taught this um. when I was younger. And I do believe if. we taught everyone how to sleep. properly, give them a proper sleep. education when they're little, I. wouldn't exist. Insomnia wouldn't exist. You talked there when you referenced. your own bedroom. I think you you spoke. about it quite lovingly. Should I have. this place I like to sleep? How.

important is that? How important is it. to sleep in the same place and for that. space to be is there a certain way I. should be designing my bedroom? Is there. like a bed that's good or like a pillow? You know, because there's lots of fads. around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of fads. around. I think your environment is. important, but I can't dictate to you. what that is because we're all so. different. Um, yes, it's true. You don't. need loads of technology in your bedroom. to sleep. I'm not saying technology. can't aid our sleep because I think in. the future we're going to come up with. some crazy cool things that are going to.

really help us. I just think right now. we're not quite there. I think the least you have in your. bedroom that remind you of the day is. really important. So obviously screens. and light uh is very important when it. comes to sleep. But I think people miss. are missing a trick when when we say. don't look at your phones. We're not. just saying don't look at your phones. because of the light exposure. We're. saying it because it's reminding your. brain of something that you did during. the day. And so your brain being the. smart thing that it is is thinking okay. well I'll um I'll I'll I'll increase.

your cortisol and I'll reduce your. melatonin which is your stress and your. sleepy hormone uh hormones. um and I'm. going to help you be more alert because. you clearly want to be alert right now. And so your brain thinks it's helping. you. And then you're thinking, hang on a. minute, I just looked at my phone for. like 3 seconds and now I'm buzzing. Why? And it's just because your brain is your. your behavior is so much more. influential on your physiology than you. realize. What do you think about the snooze. button?

Um I think if you have to use it on a. regular basis, you need to start. questioning why you always need to. snooze. Unfortunately, the research. shows that snoozing does not benefit us. at all. And actually, if you think about. it, if if if you are a snoozer, you. know, how many times does it actually. make us feel better? Doesn't. Exactly. delays. Sorry. No, I I think it's nonsense as well. I. did I one of my modules when I was doing. psychology in school was about sleep and. um understanding the different phases of. sleep made me realize that the snooze. button is I think totally pointless.

because it's you have to be in a certain. phase of sleep for you to get real. benefits and. within 15 minutes it's get to that phase. right. absolutely. um a lot of people when they you know. when they knew that I was speaking to. you today um they want to know how they. can sleep better in the short term. tonight. they're looking for some kind of quick. fix to the to a problem they've had for. a long time. What would you say to those people? Okay, so the first thing I'd say is that. you're never going to find that reactive.

very quick method. It's never going to. happen. And even if you find it, I. promise you it won't work in the long. term. It might control your condition in. the short term, but not in the long. term. I can teach you how to re to. sleep, but it's going to take you a few. weeks, not a night. Um, but in the. meantime, don't worry. It's okay. like. part part of this is I just there is a. solution. So what I do is called. cognitive behavioral therapy for. insomnia. It is not the same as CBT for. depression or anxiety or anything else. Um and it is just about retraining.

yourself to sleep and building up that. strong sleep drive. You have to do that. over time. Um but in the short term I. usually tell people that they do not. need to worry. Nothing bad is going to. happen to you. And the reality is that. it's more your mood that will affect. your day when you wake up in the morning. than the bad night's sleep you just had. So I know we've got evidence to show. that when you have a bad night's sleep, your cognitive abilities, etc. are going. to be um reduced. However, if you think. about how you generalize that, you're. not you're not going to lose your job.

You're not going to perform horrifically. in that meeting because you didn't get a. good night's sleep. It would be far. better for you to go to bed later and. make sure you're lovely and sleepy and. only get four hours than to go to bed 8. hours before that meeting and toss and. turn and be fidgety and stressed and. anxious all night. That's what I do. I. still get nervous when I have to do like. a lecture in front of 500 people. Of. course, I get nervous, but instead of, you know, focusing on my notes just. before I go to bed, I'll put everything. aside. I'll go and enjoy myself, do.

something I really love to do. I'll get. ready for bed a bit earlier than usual, just so that I do not have to think. about anything when I get sleepy. And. when I am sleepy, even if it's 2 3 4. hours later than usual, I know that I'll. go and have a really lovely 3 or 4 hours. sleep. And then I'll wake up and I'll be. like, great. I know I'm going to be a. bit sleepy today, but that's only going. to help me sleep tonight. and I'm going to have an epic day. I. don't care that I'm a bit sleepy. Sleepiness is amazing. Sleepiness is. such a good thing for you. Why are we. teaching people that sleepiness is a bad.

thing? You need sleepiness to sleep. I've got two questions there. The first. I'm sure is it feels like a very um. related sort of question to what you've. just been talking about there, which is. do you sleep well? I'm sure you get. asked this all the time at every party, every time you It's like asking a. comedian to tell a joke, right? It's like, how is your sleep? Okay, so most of the time my sleep is. fairly good because I've been lucky. enough to be educating myself through. this for the last 16 years. But it's not. good all the time because it's totally.

normal after some kind of life stressor, new illness, some dramatic change in our. society like we're seeing right now. for your sleep to change and for it to. be poor. Okay, it is totally normal to. have sleep problems. We will all get. them. You will never find someone who. does not have a sleep problem at some. point in their lives. But there is a. difference between somebody who has a. short-term sleep problem. And when the. initial issue resolves itself, the sleep. problem goes away and the person who has.

now unfortunately got a long-term sleep. problem. The difference is the behavior. It is. not the person. It is not some trait. that you have over someone. It's not. something genetic. There are there are. all of those things that do feed into, for example, insomnia. But the reality. is the thing that seems to perpetuate. sleep problems is not usually the. original trigger. So we cannot blame the. divorce. For example, 20 years ago, I'm. not divorced, but I'm just making an. example. So 20 years ago, we get.

divorced and it's a really stressful. situation and it stops you sleeping for. a month. Okay? But now you're remarried. and you're perfectly happy, but you've. got a 20 year insomnia problem. We. cannot blame the divorce for that. anymore. And also somebody else who's. gone through the same situation, same. illness or divorce or new medication. would not have had that sleep problem 20. years later. So what is it? And I. believe and we know that most of it is. your behavior. After a few weeks of a. sleep problem, most people will freak.

out and they'll start changing their. behavior. So they might start lying in, they might start going to bed early. that's trying desperately to improve. their sleep opportunity because they. believe the mere act of lying in a bed. for longer is going to miraculously give. them a stronger sleep drive and make. them get through whatever it is they. need to get through when the reality is. and this is usually how we treat. insomnia or one of the ways we actually. deprive you of your sleep opportunity. So we don't deprive you of sleep but we. do deprive you of your sleep. opportunity. So we only allow you to be.

in bed for a certain amount of time and. that fixes it. That's frightening. because with teaching people that sleep. is so bad or not sorry not sleep is so. bad but sleepiness is so bad that they. don't feel that they can build up that. strong sleep drive without something. terrible happening to them. So the way. we are disseminating knowledge right now. is not working and we have got to find a. way to change that. You talked about the the type of therapy. you offer cognitive behavioral therapy. for insomnia. One of the elements you've. described is this sleep deprivation.

which is in essence you're stopping. people sleeping I'm guessing throughout. the day to focus them on their sleep. opportunity. Um yes so it's less about restricting. their sleep and more about restricting. their bedtime. So often when you come. across somebody who's had a sleep. problem for a fair while enough to come. to see me they're usually spending more. time in bed than they are sleeping. So. for example, they might be in bed for. around 10 hours, but they're only. sleeping for say 6 hours. And so what I. would do is I would restrict them in the. first instance only. So it's only mildly.

to 6 hours in bed because or 5 hours in. bed, whatever they're sleeping for. I. would we would we would never really go. lower than 5 hours because at the end of. the day, we're only um uh sort of guess. it's all a bit of guess work here. Um. and that's important that it's like that. and we're not overtracking sleep because. that's has its own issues. Um, and then. for a week or so, I'll keep them on that. schedule and try and get them to. strictly stick to it, which is quite. scary for somebody who thinks the total. opposite way is going to fix them. Even.

though they've got no evidence that it. works, it doesn't matter. They've been. doing it for a long time. So, it's quite. hard to get someone to do this. And then. once we can get them to sleep for around. 90% of that five or six hours, whatever. they spend in bed, then we can start. increasing their sleep time out very, very slowly. But people sort of get very. overeager about this. It's called sleep. restriction therapy. Um or there's lots. of different ways of calling it. Um. people get over excited about it and. they're obsessed with reaching that 90%. efficiency so they can move on and add.

time. But I try to always explain to. people and indeed I do online courses in. sleep that they can do themselves. And. I'm always trying to explain to them. it's not about adding more time. Imagine. if you are getting to 5 or 6 hours sleep. efficient every every night for 7 days. as an average. That's really good. That's so much better than the broken. sleep you were getting before. Think. about the new quality that you have. built. How amazing is that? When's the. last time you went for a week and you. had that consistent sleep? And when they.

start thinking about it that way, they're like, "Oh my god, yes, this is. so much better. And I'm even able to add. more time now." And we slowly. incrementally start adding sleep out. And that's how you fix it. I mean it's. not everything because you've got to. work on the mindset. You've got to work. on the re-educating people. What are those other pieces of the. therapy? So mindset. Yeah. You got to So first. one is the the sort of sleep restriction. as you called it. Yeah. One area is you we need to you've. got to be re-educated on sleep much like. we've been chitchatting away today.

That's how I will talk to someone and I. will try to help them understand um I'll. try and pick out a lot of the things. that they talk to me about. Um, but it's. trying to help them understand where the. myths are and where the facts are with. sleep because a lot of their ideologies. around sleep will be directly. influencing their behavior. And so as. soon as you can change that and it it's. not as simple as just saying that's. right and that's wrong, you got to keep. doing it and they need to trust you and. and you've got to find a way and the. right language to speak to that person. Once you've done that, you can start. with the sleep restriction. And then of.

course, whilst there is no evidence that. relaxation or anxiety reduction is going. to directly and reactively fix a. long-term sleep disorder, after you've. started improving your sleep drive and. using the sleep restriction therapy to. do that, then yes, we do need to start. looking at how do you bring yourself. back to balance during the day. Is it. stress and anxiety that got you here in. the first place because you're working. too much and you got yourself into the. wrong patterns? How are you going to. process more during the day? How are you.

going to balance more during the day? We. need to look at those things, but we. need to look at them with the right. expectations, which is that they are not. going to make you sleep because once. that expectation is not met, you feel. really inadequate and then you feel like. nothing can help you and then you get. hopeless and out of control and lonely. about your problem. So all this lots of. different sort of elements like a. pyramid to try and help someone with. their sleep. and you know people um c caffeine has. become a huge part of our you know we. live in a society where people take. caffeine to wake them up and then quite.

often they'll take certain supplements. to shut them down again like sleep. supplements or um various nol I think is. one of them right I don't know. um what's your take on all of all of. these chemicals we're using to kind of. regulate our alertness and then our. tiredness. they they can't work over time. So, all. the research shows that eventually you. either get used to them, they stop. working, they make you feel really. uncomfortable. I don't think there's. anything wrong with, for example, sleeping pills or using caffeine in the. short term, things like that. Um, but.

starting to use them long term, they. have their own all of them have their. own side effects and over a long time of. use um aren't very good for the body. Um, but in general, they're just not. going to they're not going to suddenly. miraculously reset your sleep button or. anything that people seem to think. they're going to do. So, I don't think. relying on these things in the short. term is a bad thing every now and again. But, if you're relying on them every. single time you have a sleep problem, you're effectively making it worse. because your brain isn't learning. anything. It is literally just being.

giving a cheap method like a fake sleep. almost. And that is what you get from a. lot of sedatives is seditive sleep which. is not the same as the cycles that you. go through usually to sleep well. So. you're not getting but psychologically. we believe that sleep is better than no. sleep. And actually I don't necessarily. agree with that. In a way I'd rather get. no sleep than a really rubbish sleep. knowing that my body will like build up. a really strong sleep drive and help me. later. But people are so terrified of. that that they that psychologically they.

just need to feel like they've slept. But if they had a bit of better. education around sleep and they. understood how it worked more, then I. don't think people would be trying to. grab all these things all the time. But. we live in a reactive society. We're not. very proactive as creatures. We want we. want it now and we want it done. yesterday. What about caffeine? That's such a huge. part of everybody's well pretty much. everybody's daily routine. People they. you know they'll say, "I have to have. this coffee to wake myself up. I have three or four of them a day." And.

then what impact does that end up having. on sleep? So caffeine is very interesting because. genetically we are all either sensitive. or not sensitive or somewhere in between. with caffeine. So it's very hard to say. nobody should be drinking caffeine after. this time. Yes, it does have a very sort. of it's a it has a big afterlife. So it. it definitely or halflife. So what we. mean by that is that um you know it's. going to have an effect on you hours and. hours after you've had it. But depending. on how sensitive you to your to it you.

are, you know, but at the same time, there's so much more you can do. If you. started waking up at the same time every. day, you would start to feel refreshed. You would be one of those people who. wakes up and is like, "Yeah, I'm ready. to start the day." Imagine if you just. used your body the way it was designed. to be used. I'm not saying caffeine is. bad. I definitely wouldn't say you can't. drink caffeine, but if you're starting. to use it, anything in life in anything. chemical in a in a compensatory method. because something is wrong, that's when. you need to start questioning it. But in. general, having caffeine in the morning,

I don't think there's anything wrong. with that. If you enjoy it, great. But. then there's lots of research that shows. that even your performance isn't. significantly improved by having. caffeine. You might feel like you're. able to buzz around everything more, but. your actual efficiency isn't necessarily. improved. I I I wonder, you know, because I think I was looking at some. stats around insomnia and sleep sleep. disorders, and the stats are pretty. staggering, and. I don't know how to say this, but I just. don't tend to believe that humans after.

all these thousands of years of. evolution have been born with quite an. apparent or seemingly apparent um. problem with sleep. So it makes me. think, okay, so what is it in our social. environment and society that's making us. struggle with sleep? Is it our over. obsession with the perfect sleep? That. might be one element. And this, you. know, and all the fear and anxiety.

around not sleeping perfectly as you've. described and we're actually doing. pretty good, right? And labeling ourselves as. insomnia, you know, cuz that word I'm an. insomniac or I've got insomnia is thrown. around pretty easily. Absolutely. Or is it the, you know, the. tech in our lives? Is it the the the. over stimulation of the, you know, the. technology we have? Is it overwork? What's your take on that? Cuz I I feel. the same about depression and anxiety as. well. I I look at the stats growing over. time um in with various sort of mental. um illnesses. And I think surely we.

weren't born um with chemical imbalances. as is um said in um yeah. I love them. Yeah. I so it's a hard question to. answer. I think that there is element. there's lots of different elements. I. don't believe that the stats are as. accurate as they probably seem. for. example, I believe that before, you. know, the industrial revolution, for. example, we had um sleep problems. I I.

mean I no, I do I believe we did. It's. just that I believe we're recording. things now more. So, there's that aspect. of it. There is this aspect of we over. worry about things and you know, at the. end of the day, whilst someone keep you. know, lots of people out there keep. telling us that actually um you know, if. you sleep less than 6 hours, you will. die early, but actually we're not. actually seeing that. Someone asked me that today. They said, How much am I reducing my life. expectancy with my poor sleep? The thing is, okay, so if you know. you've got poor sleep, you need to.

improve it, but hopefully it's not going. to be long term. You can actually get. some support for that and get it sorted. If you're actively keeping yourself at 5. hours when you know you're a 7-hour. sleeper, then yeah, you're going to. reduce your life expectancy. But if. you're naturally a 5hour sleeper and. they do exist then that does not mean. the same thing that you're going to be. reducing your life expectancy when they. genetically you can't you know that's. for you. Um it's really difficult to. understand. I think um you know. electricity has a big part to play. So.

again I talked a little bit briefly at. the beginning about the light dark. cycles of this planet and the way that. we are designed well not designed but. you know we're built on this planet. We. we seem to have evolved that way. Um, and so we we we definitely do need to be. in general not uh working and resting. more at night and we we work better. Our. metabolisms, our brains function, we're. more rational during the day. Um, and so. with electricity has become many. problems. I definitely think the.

scareongering and the fear and the. tracking of sleep has definitely caused. in the last few years a boom in sleep. problems or at least how many people are. coming to us for help. and with the the pandemic. What impact. has that had on people's sleep? Hu let's. talk about hu for a second. I've spent a. lot of time on this podcast talking. about the ready to drink Hu bottles. which are my favorite for convenience. reasons. It means I don't have to mix. anything. But this week, as my goals in. gym and in my health and in my physique. have started to evolve, I've started.

using a new product that I wanted to. tell you about. And the reason why I've. started using this product, which is. called Hule, the Black Edition, is. because there's 50% less carbs, 33% more. protein, um, zero artificial sweeteners, and it's of course gluten-free. I wish I. had something like this to be honest. when I was a student because it's. literally £147. per meal. I think you get about 17 or 18. meals out of one bag. And if you're. someone like me that's in this phase of.

my life that's trying to build a bit of. muscle, get a little bit more lean. whilst also, you know, reducing the. carbs a little bit, then give Black. Edition Hule a try and try the vanilla. flavor if you do get a chance cuz that's. um for me is the the tastiest flavor of. them all. And do you know what I'm gonna. do next week in the podcast? I'm gonna. take my top off. Okay? So, I'm gonna um. show you the impact that uh all of this. being a hu has had for me. You're going. to have to tune in next week and you're. going to have to watch it on YouTube to. see that. But um I'm going to show you.

the the before and after of using Hule. and uh uh and before I used Hule. Okay. So, that's something to look forward to. Or maybe not. With the the pandemic, what impact has that had on people's. sleep? It's had a huge impact. So um in various. different ways. So the first way is that. everybody's routine changed um because. we couldn't go outside and move as much. as we once did. We couldn't get as much. light exposure as we once did. We didn't. get as much stimulation, social. stimulation. So our brains weren't being.

used in the same way. Plus we all had. this sort of uh thing to look at on the. news all the time. So we're actively. sort of looking at something that is. stressing us out and making us anxious. So various different components. No. wonder sleep changed. But it would have. been totally normal for that to happen. Your sleep is adapting to your new. environment. And so when people start. worrying about this, I try to get them. to calm down about it because actually. if your sleep wasn't working properly, you just wouldn't be here. Okay? So to a. degree, our sleep is doing a bloody good.

job for us. Um and we need to be better. about it. We blame sleep for everything. Um and actually there's so many other. variables that we can control in our. lives that will have an effect on us. But yes, during the pandemic, we saw um. or we still see there's plenty more. problems with people struggling to get. to sleep. Maybe they're feeling really. buzzy and they can't get to sleep, maintaining that sleep. So, people. waking up in the middle of the night and. they're just like, "Gh, what? Why am I. waking up?" Sometimes they they've got a. million thoughts a minute or um.

sometimes they're just thinking of. nothing and they don't know why that's. happening. We've seen more dream recall, very graphic dreams. Um, and we believe. that's because obviously when your. routine changes and you don't have to. work, and ironically I always say to. insomniacs that actually when they're. working and when they've got busy lives, it's a lot easier to treat them than. when they don't have a routine because. routine is everything to our bodies. I. wish we understood more how much our. bodies love to be regulated. And going. to work and doing exercise and going to.

see our friends and going to the gym and. eating at regular intervals is telling. your brain so many signals. The light. exposure you get is telling your brain. about how much melatonin to re release. for you. It's fascinating, but we do. need regulation. And the biggest thing. that changed during this pandemic was. our routines. Mhm. People people have a. real desire as well. You you mentioned. the the fact that the pandemic had. caused very like vivid dreams. People. have asked me so many times if they can.

control their dreams or how do they stop. themselves dreaming so vividly or um and. some people having, you know, recurring. nightmares and things like that. What. what is your answer to that? What. control do we have on our dreams? So you can you can learn to that's what. we call lucid dreaming. So you can learn. to lucid dream. The problem is it's. probably not very good for your sleep in. general. Um, so effectively when we. remember our dreams, it's because we. have been woken out of REM sleep. So REM. is actually a very active stage of. sleep. It's not your deep sleep. It's. actually quite a light stage of sleep.

Some might argue that's even a different. state of consciousness than not sleep at. all. So REM is a really strange time. It's when we believe that more of our. memory and our psychological restoration. is happening and consolidation and. things like that. And part of REM, we. tend to have more uh graphic dreams, but. it's it's you being interrupted from. that state, which you may not remember. in the night. It could just be a van. driving past in your REM sleep, and it. wakes you into a lighter stage of sleep, like stage one or two sleep. And so in.

the morning, you think, "Oh my god, I. really remember my dreams." Or maybe. your alarm woke you up in the middle of. REM sleep, and you're like, "Oh my god, I can really remember my dreams." As. opposed to the times when you're like, "I didn't dream at all last night.". Well, of course you did dream. It's just. that your REM wasn't interrupted. So. that's why you're remembering your. dreams. When we try to control our. dreams, usually you have to kind of. control that interruption a bit. And so. um I haven't looked into it properly in. terms of lucid dreaming because it. doesn't really help me do my job. I. don't really want people to learn to. lucid dream because then one they're.

going to be remembering their dreams. more. Um and if they're remembering. their dreams more, then their sleep is. more interrupted and that's not good for. your sleep. We want you to go through. the cycles of sleep as as uh you know as. comfortably as we can and so that you. get all the right percentages and all. the right restoration and and healing. and everything that you need from your. sleep. Um so yeah uh it's an interesting. concept. I don't think it's very helpful. to healthy sleep. Um but every now and. again especially kids I find when I'm. talking to children they seem to be able. to control their dreams a little bit.

better like flying for example they. concentrate more on it that's why. So. they have more time and they concentrate. on it. Uh which is quite a fun thing. Maybe we should all be doing more of. that daydreaming and stuff. It's. actually really good for problem. solving. Um so yeah, it's fascinating. and and and there's a lot of famous. people. I think Einstein though, don't I. mean I don't know if I'm right about. this, but Einstein and various other. geniuses would do things like hold a um. egg or or a spoon or something. Um so.

that if and when they fell asleep that. spoon would drop and then they would. wake up because they felt they had all. their best ideas. I can see you looking. at me and thinking about doing this to. get better tonight and dropping it off. my bed. But it's not very good for sleep to keep. interrupting it like that. Um, so you. can, yes, you've got the power to. manipulate sleep however you want, but. at the end of the day, if the goal here. is to keep you alive for longer and to. feel refreshed in the day and to have. your best ideas consistently and to be. healthy consistently, then you probably.

want to do sleep right the way it was. designed. And what about what I eat before I go to. bed? A lot of people talk about that. That's another uh thing. You know, if I. order food really late, someone will. turn to me in the room and go, "Oh, you. shouldn't be eating at this time." You. know what I mean? What do I say to that? Okay, you I've said it before, a good. sleeper does all the wrong things and. they seem to be okay, but they're. probably not doing all the wrong things. all the time. So, yes, the the later you. eat, you're basically asking your body. to metabolize and asking it to sleep and. it does not like doing both and so one.

of them will be um compromised. Um in. terms of um anything that you can eat. that will have a significant effect on. your sleep, there's no real research. Um. there is research to show things like. you know if you if you eat enough. cherries or you have enough milk or. enough turkey it's going to give you. some kind of sedatory effect but at the. end of the day. it's you'd have to have a stupid amount. of those kind of foods to have any kind. of effect. It's not going to help you.

sleep healthily from day to day. That's. not going to suddenly boost the quality. of your sleep um significantly. Um, so I. would argue that unless you have some. kind of deficiency in a vitamin or. mineral that is affecting your sleep, then you probably don't need to be. looking at the food you eat. In general, as I'm sure a lot of people will say, but in general, eating a healthy. balanced diet where you have what you. would call naughty foods and good foods. in in balance, all that stuff is really. good for you. And probably the only.

piece of advice I'd give around eating. is again regulating how you eat. So, if. it's breakfast, lunch, and dinner you. like to do, trying to do that at. consistent times every single day is. going to help your body understand when. you want to be awake and metabolizing. and when you want to be sleeping. And. then not sleeping too late at night just. so that you can make sure that your body. metabolizes well and sleeps well. And can I sleep too much? Is that such a. people people there's this myth again in. society where people think that they. overslept and now they're knackered,

right? Yeah. So you can it usually when people. say they've overslept if we actually. looked at them in a sleep study and. they've overslept for the amount that. they usually sleep and they didn't need. it probably the quality of their entire. sleep wouldn't be amazing. Um and that's. why they were able to have this dribble. drabby longer sleep and and and it's not. it's not going to be very helpful. Usually when we're talking about that. research that shows that longer sleepers. actually can get sicker um is because. the quality of their sleep is impaired. by something like sleep apnnea or.

another sleep disorder which is. impairing the quality of their sleep. So. which is poor quality. Yeah. So poor quality sleep. You're. going to sleep longer. It's kind of the. same as having insomnia because you're. not really sleeping and so therefore you. feel you need to sleep longer and you. wake up and you still don't feel like. you've slept as much as you needed to. If you're sleeping really well from. night to night, you don't need to sleep. more. So, your body won't really let. you. So, if the quality is good and. you've reached that optimal time, you'll. notice that if you do try to sleep.

longer, it's quite if I looked at that. sleep for you in a polyomnography study. So, I looked at your brain activity, the. quality of it is just like a snooze is. probably not going to be the same. It's. not going to be But it's very rare you. find someone like usually they're. deprived of something or other or they. haven't been sleeping properly and then. they sleep a bit longer. you you hear a. lot of um a lot of successful people I. think it's it's part of bragging you. know bragging about how little they. sleep they'll say I know you sleep 3. four hours a day and and I think it's. pushed this idea into society that in.

order to be successful you've got to. sleep for you know just 2 or 3 hours or. 4 hours or whatever but then on the. other side you have this total. contradiction which is in order to be. successful you need to wake up at 6 a.m. and drink green juice and do yoga and. like sleep for exactly seven hours. Um, and it and it I guess this kind of. speaks to the original point which was. um that there's so much. overgeneralization. and uh through an attempt to sell you. something whether it's a book or.

um my authority or to get you to follow. me, I kind of preach this secret which. can be quite easily replicated for all. of you, right? that's causing us to be. like uh be smack like smacked with these. contradicting narratives around sleep. Um which is making everyone a little bit. confused. Um what's your sort of take on all of. that? Cuz you know, as when I was. growing up, I thought, you know, if I. want to be successful, I've got to just. sleep less. And I I I think, if I'm.

being completely honest with myself, I think I used to be proud of how little. I sleepd. I thought it was like more. like a badge of honor, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, but now I think I'm getting. a little bit older and I'm I don't. really give a [ __ ] what people think. Good. Good for you. Um uh so yeah, I I. definitely have seen a change around in. this recently, but yeah, there has this. been this thing about like clean. sleeping. It's a bit like the whole. clean eating thing. It's it's everything. that you've effectively just said. Um. but people trying to say you need to do.

this that and that to have the perfect. night's sleep. Actually, that doesn't. really exist. Once you know how much. sleep you need around, make sure you. have that opportunity most nights that. you. How do I know though? Um, so I guess. you referenced genetics. You said there. are 5 hour genetics. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess um a more. relaxed way of looking at it is when you. go on holiday after the 3 4 days of. recovery from you know work life um what. happens you know left to your own. devices what happens? Um that's a pretty.

good way of looking at it. If you're. looking at a really scientific way, then. sleep restriction therapy. So, what we. would put a insomniac through also will. show you how much of a duration that you. need right now because there'll be a. point where you can't keep adding time. Your body won't get you to 90% efficient. and that's where you know, okay, maybe. this is around the right time for me. And sleep and mental health, I feel like. it's I don't know, my guess would be. that it's somewhat kind of a a cycle, right? I think poor sleep might lead to. poor mental health and then poor mental.

health might lead to poor sleep. Is that. accurate? You're absolutely right. But it doesn't. matter what came first, the chicken or. the egg. The main issue is, especially. in medicine, and I've just done a piece. of research um that shows that. undergraduate um medical degrees only. teach a median of an hour and a half of. sleep. So this is why this next thing. happens a lot because they just don't. have the education. So our own doctors. do not have enough education in. something that we do a third of our. lives. So historically or traditionally. when you go to your GP and you say I've.

got a sleep problem, they'll tell you. you've got depression and insomniacs. will be able to relate to this and it is. because in general we look at sleep or. poor sleep as a symptom of another. condition. Now even if it is even if you. do have a significant mental health. problem and it is causing you to have. sleep issues if it's been longer than 3. months you now have a entrained sleep. disorder and you need to be treating the. sleep problem as a primary condition of. in itself and the one that I would treat. first is whichever one is most.

prevalent. So whichever symptoms seem to. be more distressing for you at the time. is where I would start. But I would be. fixing for example the depression and. the insomnia separately. And the results. show that when you treat insomnia you. have less relapse of depression because. you have actually resolved one of these. things that unfortunately was. perpetuating everything. So it doesn't. really matter where sleep comes into it. but you've got to give it its own. podium. It needs to be it is a pillar of.

health and you need to treat it that. way. Mhm. You reference like good sleeper and. bad sleeper. What's the uh what were the. characteristics of each? So everyone always thinks I'm going to. say well a good sleeper does this and a. good sleeper does that. But actually the. only difference I have seen over however. long doing this is that a good sleeper. is somebody who just doesn't worry that. much about their sleep. They are very. grateful for their sleep and they're. very you know you know they they give. themselves a fair opportunity. They. don't always sleep well. They don't, you.

know, sometimes they have sleep. problems, but they don't get overly. bothered by it. And they notice that. their sleep when left to its own devices. will go back to whatever it needs to be. About 10% of insomniacs we never see. because they don't perceive themselves. to be having a problem and they're not. sick and dying. Isn't this somewhat uh I. guess a metaphor for the for the rest of. our lives as well where typically much. of the problem is people thinking that. they have a problem or their own. perception of their reality because I'll. be honest um everyone around me doesn't.

think I sleep very well. But I've always. thought that I slept really really well. And I've just I think refused to buy. into the idea that I'm a bad sleeper. They think that because I'm up at. strange times. Sometimes I'm traveling. at strange time. But I I I've never. worried about my sleep. When I go into. my room, eventually I'll fall asleep and. at some point I'll wake up. But I guess. the point I'm trying to make there is as. well, if you look at what's happening in. the world, um with the pandemic and you. know, people feeling certain um feeling. like they should be a certain way is.

actually making them that way. People. feeling like they should feel self-pity. is making them feel self-pity. And um as. someone that's been to Rio de Janeiro. and seen the um the fllas there and. spent time in the fllas, but also I've. been to India and spent some time in the. Dharavia I think they call it which is. you know known as the slums which I. think is a derogatory term. Um I've seen people in the in the slums. in India who were significantly happier. um than people that I know that are very.

you know relatively cushy. And I know. it's all subjective living in the UK and. it just but people hate when we talk. about these the these these things. because it gets the mirror of blame and. responsibility and it just turns it back. on themselves and says maybe you're the. problem. Maybe the way you're thinking. is the problem and maybe you can do. something about it. Yeah, absolutely. You've hit the nail on. the head. Um, like I said, about 10% of. insomniacs we we never see. And.

actually, if you think about it, insomnia is just another pattern of. sleep. And you have a certain pattern of. sleep right now. And if it's not broken, do not fix it. I firmly believe that. And if you ever have a problem, well, you know where I am. Um, but hopefully. you never will because you'll follow. your gut, follow what you feel is right. Um, if that turns you, then fair enough. Um, get some support. But actually you. you really have hit the nail on the head. and I really do believe with a bit more. of understanding and education around.

sleep and that it's not night to your. your sleep doesn't work like that. I get. yes we do need to most of the time sleep. night to night but it can survive. without doing that. Um it is in it's. incredible. If we spent more time. understanding how amazing sleep was. rather than fearing when it doesn't. happen and then blaming it for. absolutely everything, we would be in a much better position. We would cherish it more and we would um. you know love it more but not overly put. pressure on it which is ridiculous.

Sleep cannot force you to lose your job. Sleep can't do though or lack of it. It. just can't. Um but our belief that it. does is making this problem worse. So. yes, it is 100% a mindset. I spend most. of my time not training people to sleep. again, but actually trying to help. resolve that mindset. One of the last. things I do when I finished with a. client is I have to go through and help. them understand that sleep is not the be. all and end all because actually even to. treat their sleep, I have to get them to.

focus on it. And actually, I need to take the focus. away now. And one of the exercises I do is I tell. them, look, I now want you to think that. we're in a world where sleep doesn't. exist. And when I do that, people are. like, "Oh my god, that would be awful. because it would just be one long. perpetual day. We'd never finish our. day." Just philosophically and. psychologically, how would we deal with. that? And actually, I'm like, "Yes, that's how you should be thinking about. it because that time, even when you're. not sleeping, is beautiful and we should. cherish it." Um, and also, if you didn't. sleep, what would be all the other.

variables that would affect you? And I. start getting them to think about the. rest of their lives and all these other. things like exercise and eating right. And they're just the basics. um who you. interact with, when you watch the news, the bills you paid that day, whether you. walked the dog, um all sorts of things, pain, um noisy neighbors, uh your. commute to work. How many of those. things actually have a properly. significant impact on you, but you'll. still blame it on your sleep, and then it's a perpetual cycle because. then you start compensating, well, I'm. not going to do this anymore. I'm not. going to go to the gym. I'm not going to.

see my friends. I'm terrified that it's. going to do something that affects my. sleep. And then your sleep is worse. because your body's now thinking, "Oh, so she doesn't need to get good sleep at. night because she's not doing anything. in the day anymore." And so you make it. worse and worse and worse. And that is. one of the biggest things I see in a. long-term insomniac is somebody who's. literally stopped living in order to fix. the problem. Why do we think that's. going to fix the problem? It doesn't. What about a bad sleeper then? So we. talked a little bit about the prof like. the profile of the characteristics of a. good sleeper. What's a bad sleeper? So a.

bad sleeper is somebody who really does. um they get bad sleep and suddenly they. start worrying about the lack of sleep. and then what they'll do is they'll look. up how do I fix my sleep? They'll come. up with 10 regimented rules and they'll. start becoming obsessive and ritualistic. about those rules. They'll stop going. out in the evening and they'll start. having the hot warm bath, the the herbal. tea and every single thing that they. have um they think and they know it. doesn't work, but they're so terrified. of not doing them because that's all. they've got to hold on to now that they.

are um you know they they they they. can't go away from it. And actually. trying to take teach those people to. sleep better is is harder than somebody. who's a bit more relaxed around their. routine because they've built these. things up so hard. Do you know what's. really funny is um what you've described. there is a person who is so. keen to solve a problem that probably. isn't that much of a problem that they. they're they're in search of these. techniques and tips and secrets and. shortcuts and whatever. Probably a lot. of the people that felt compelled to. click on this podcast today to listen to.

it and you see the same within. uh success and ambition. you see this. like this certain group of people that. I'm going to be honest, okay, are almost. never really successful, but spend the most time trying to be. And when I when I think about my. success, so when I read these books. about, oh, the the perfect way to be. successful, here's 13 tips that all. successful people share, I think this is. total [ __ ] nonsense because my sleep. is I sleep whenever I feel tired, as you.

say. I eat blah blah blah, you know? I. don't do yoga. I don't like meditate. every day. I don't I don't follow any. script or blueprint. I just kind of go. with the flow and do my best every. single day and show up and try and be. better tomorrow. Like if that that's as. far as it goes for me. There's no. looking in the mirror and saying, "Steve, you're going to be a. millionaire. Steve, you're going to be,". you know what I mean? All of that feels. like nonsense to me. But the people that. seem to um do those things, the. visualizations in the mirror, the mood. boarding my future, like they are never.

the successful ones. All of my. successful friends don't do that. Yeah. Yeah. And I I I maybe I think what I'm saying. is it sounds like the same applies to. sleep. Yeah. Where like the the people that get. addicted on techniques and tips and. tricks end up having the worst sleep. overall. Yeah. What have we missed? I'm asking you this. question because there's so many unknown. unknowns. I don't I don't know a ton. about sleep again because I've never. really cared that much about it. Right. So, is there anything that you think we've. missed? any specific topics or. I think I would love it if people came.

away from this podcast and gave their. sleep a little bit of a break and in the. same sort of with the same idea I'm sure. there'll be people out there thinking. yes but when I wake up tonight in the. middle of the night what do I do about. it so I guess this is one thing we. haven't covered to understand that if. you are waking up in the middle of the. night and it's been happening to you. over and over again this has become a. habit and therefore to resolve the habit. you're going to have to do something. consistently ly you're not going to be. able to solve it in one night. It's just. not going to happen. However, if you're.

waking up and you're getting stressed. and anxious, do not lie in bed. It's not. going to help you. You've got a. different problem now. You've made. yourself anxious and stressed and you. need to alleviate it. Leave the bedroom. Go and enjoy yourself. It is not going. to wake you up. You are already awake. Your sleep drive clearly isn't there to. take you back to sleep. So, go do. something else. Make sure you get up in. the morning. Do not lie in. Go and have. the epic day. Enjoy yourself. Go and see. your friends or talk to them over Zoom. or go and do some exercise. Get outside.

Get some light exposure. Be happy and. content in your life. Focus on other. things and go to bed when you're really, really sleepy. And when it happens again. the next night, do the same thing. And I. promise you eventually you will be able. to get out of it. But if you lie there. and you get anxious and stressed and you. try and force yourself to sleep, you. already know this doesn't work. You're. trying it over and over again. So don't. do it. So, that's the thing that I would. say. I I hope that when people listen to. this, they come away and they're like, "Do you know what? I'm not as worried as. I was about my sleep. I'm actually going.

to chill out and I'm I'm going to be all. right about it. But if I do want to improve the quality, I've listened to what she said. There's. some key things there. I'm going to I'm. going to try do those few things." But. it's about the little things. So, it's. not about doing 20 different things. It. is just about literally get up at the. same time every morning. Stop. overcompensating. Stop diluting your. sleep opportunity when you don't get. good sleep. Make it smaller. build that. sleepiness. It's actually good for you. Don't freak out. Nothing bad's going to. happen. And you talked one particular point I. wanted to come back on there because I I.

when I asked my audience about the. questions they had for you again about I. say 15 20% of them were all about. I keep waking up in the middle of the. night. What to do? So you're saying get. out of bed. Get out of bed and go and do something. that you love. Do not Yeah. Do not. go and do something like clean the. bathroom or do something boring. Go and. do something that is going to be. distracting. For God's sake, we're. always going on about how little time we. have. You've got more time now. So, go. and use it. Go and do something fun. I'm. not saying get up and go to work. I'm.

not saying that because I still think. this is your sleep opportunity. And if. you want to retrain your brain to sleep. during this time, then you've got to. sort of do things that are I'm not. saying you need to relax, relax, relax, because I think people get stressed at. that term and they're like, I can't. relax. I don't know how to relax. Don't. make me do this. So, I think what makes you happy? Do. some things that just make you happy. Whether that's looking at old photos or. just doing something that you love, it. is okay. Okay? It's not going to be. forever. Like I said, you cannot force. yourself to sleep. But you can dictate.

when you don't sleep. So, as long as. you're not overcompensating by lying in. or going to bed early because you're so. worried about the sleep that you've. lost, forget it. It's gone. There's. nothing you can do about it. So, just. move on and do the right things. And I. promise you, you will start sleeping. better. But the more you freak out and. you're worried about what is going to. happen to you if you don't sleep another. night in a row, the more you won't be. able to fix the problem. Great. Where can people find you? Uh, so I'm at sleepyheadcl clinic.co.uk. It's gone pretty international now.

because of the co is literally I'm. online now. Um, and. sleepyheadprogram.com. If you have no time to speak to me or. you just want to do it yourself, um I. have set up this online course that you. can do, uh which I'm very excited about. with two awesome business partners who. are just as crazy and passionate about. sleep as I am. And hopefully we can. start seeing more people um and and and. build on it and make it an even better. experience. So yeah, listen, thank you so much for your time.

today. Um, sleep is a a thing that I. think has been, as I said at the start. of the podcast, has been in in increased. in relevance um, in our society and in. my personal conversations online, through Instagram, through books that. aren't, as you say, necessarily very. helpful. So, it's been um very. refreshing to to hear a almost a. counternarrative to the kind of very. binary specific um quick um secret. orientated like hacks that people push.

online and that's uh I think will do a. ton of people a lot of good. So, thank. you so much for coming. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. Thanks. [Music]. Heat. Heat. N. [Music]. [Music].