The Man Who Wrote Atomic Habits: Your Goals Are Quietly Restricting Your Happiness | James Clear

You've written one of the best-selling. books in history about habits because. people always need more practical help. with implementing their habits. And I. have different strategies and different. tools to get habits to stick, including. one principle that is probably the. single most important for building. habits, but so much of it is about. mastering the art of getting started. >> Let's get started then. James Clear is. one of the world's leading habit. experts. is educating millions to build. lasting habits, master goal setting, and. ultimately redesign their lives.

>> There are four different stages that. every habit goes through. Q, craving, response, and reward. So, first, we want. to make it obvious. Easier it is to see. or get your attention, the more likely. you are to act on it. The second is. about the craving. It's all about making. it attractive. And the more engaging or. exciting it is, the more likely you are. to stick with it. The third is to make. it easy. The easier a habit is to. perform, the more likely it is to. happen. And then the fourth and final. one is to make it satisfying. And that's. about increasing the odds that you do it. next time. [music] And there's some. tools that we can go through. But one of. the big takeaways from atomic habits is. it's easier [music] to build a new habit.

if you stack it on top of the habit. you're already doing. So let's say that. your current habit is you make a cup of. coffee. And the new habit that you want. to build is you want to start. meditating. So then you could say, "All. right, after I make my morning cup of. coffee, I will meditate for 60 seconds.". And you can do it for anything. There's. also a framework that I call hats, haircuts, and tattoos. the secret to. winning, habit shaping, and real lesson. of getting 1% better every day. And we. can talk about all of them. >> But is there any frameworks, any. tactics? If you're trying to break a. habit, if you want to break a bad habit,

there's some things that you can do. >> James, the book has shaped tens and tens. and tens of millions of lives, is there. anything you look back on that you. regret? If I could add something, I. would add this because if you really. want to make progress again and again, if you want to get to the top and stay. at the top and you need to be able to. I see messages all the time in the. comment section that some of you didn't. realize you didn't subscribe. So, if you. could do me a favor and double check if. you're a subscriber to this channel, that would be tremendously appreciated. It's the simple, it's the free thing. that anybody that watches this show.

frequently can do to help us here to. keep everything going in this show in. the trajectory it's on. So, please do. double check if you've subscribed and uh. thank you so much because in a strange. way you are you're part of our history. and you're on this journey with us and I. appreciate you for that. So, yeah, thank. you. [music]. >> James, you've written thousands and. thousands of things, but one particular. thing you wrote called Atomic Habits is. one of the bestselling books in history.

Um, it is rumored to be potentially. in the top 100 books that have sold in. history of all time, but also rumored to. be potentially the youngest book to make. the top 100 books in history. My. question is, what has the success of Atomic Habits. taught you about the nature of humanity. and humans? We all have habits. We all need habits. You know, it's one of those really it's. an interesting concept because it is. both universal in the sense that we all.

have them, we all need them, but it's. also highly individual. Your habits feel. like your habits, not mine, you know, and [clears throat] so it's both. universal and specific. Uh, and that's. that's an interesting contrast, and I. think it leads to one of the reasons why. people are so interested in the topic. You know, we all have them. We all need. them. We all feel like they're our own, and we want to come up with our little. version of them. But the habit also is. like an entrance ramp to how you spend. your time in other ways. Like the habit. of pulling out your phone, that habit. might only take two seconds to do, but.

then it might dictate what you do for. the next hour. You know, you're. answering emails or browsing social. media or playing a video game or. whatever. And it was really the initial. habit of pulling out the phone that. shaped what that hour did. So the. influence of our habits is enormous. You. know, in a lot of ways, your your. results in life are kind of a lagging. measure of the habits that precede them. You know, like your knowledge is a. lagging measure of your reading and. learning habits. Your bank account is a. lagging measure of your financial. habits. Even silly stuff like the amount.

of clutter in your living room is the. lagging measure of your cleaning habits. And so, we all so badly want our. outcomes to change, you know, we also. badly want our results to change, but. the results are not actually the thing. that needs to change. It's like fix the. habits and the results will fix. themselves. Change the inputs and the. outputs will shift automatically. >> And it's funny because the book has. shaped tens and tens and tens of. millions of lives, but it also must have. shaped you in some ways. >> Oh, of course. In a way, I had to learn. the concepts to write the book. Like I.

had to build writing habits to write the. book. The fact that I have struggled. with habits and failed with them. The. fact that I've tried things and it. hasn't worked out. The fact that I have. eventually broken through and been able. to build habits. that all of that made. the book better because you realize how. hard it is to have something practical. to say. I actually think I have this. little theory that uh a lot of books are. branded as how-to books, but they're. actually what to books. They tell you. what to think. You should be confident. You should believe in yourself. You. should take XYZ action, but they don't. actually tell you how to do those.

things. >> And in and in hindsight, is there. anything you look back on that you. regret about the book? >> I don't think there's anything that I. regret. If I could add something, I. would add something. I would add this. simple question, which is, what would it. look like if this was fun? What would it. look like if your habits were fun? Like. the most common New Year's resolution is. to do some form of exercise. So, you. know, I feel like a lot of people are. going to the gym in January because they. feel like they should go to the gym or. society wants them to go to the gym, you. know, or there's some kind of social.

pressure to go to the gym. But if we. were to come up with a list of what it. means to be active and fit, you know, and healthy, we could come up with a. long list of things. Go to the gym and. lift weights. You could kayak, rock. climb, do yoga, pilates, what, like, you. know, we could probably sit here for. like 15 minutes and come up with a real. long list. And for most of your habits, if it's an important habit to you, I. think it's worth it to take 10 minutes. and write that list out and then look at. it at the end and say, "What would this. look like if it was fun? what's which of. these options is the most fun to me. And.

that doesn't mean that your habits will. be like the most fun thing that you do. each day. You know, it's not like it's. always going to feel like going to a. concert or something, but it does mean. that pretty much any habit can be more. fun than the default, you know? So, you. might as well take a little bit of time. to figure out what is the fun version of. this. And ultimately, I think the reason. why this matters is that if you're. having fun, you're more likely to stick. with it. You're more likely to. persevere. The person who's having fun. is actually the person who's dangerous.

Like you don't want to compete with them. because they're having a good time. When. it gets difficult, they're way more. likely to stick with it. The person who. it felt like a hassle at the start was. kind of, you know, annoying. They sort. of have a negative frame around the the. behavior to begin with. Well, as soon as. it gets difficult, they didn't want to. do it in the first place. So, they're. much more likely to give up. David. Epstein, who's the author of uh Range. and Sports Genius, friend of mine, um he. told me once, "Grit is fit." Grit is. fit. And what he means is that everybody. wants to be gritty. They want to. persevere. But the way that you display.

that grit and discipline and. perseverance is in areas where you are. well suited, where it's a good fit for. you. If [clears throat] it's a good fit, if you're well suited for it, if you're. having fun, if you're interested and. engaged, then you're way more likely to. stick with it. And so, in a lot of ways, I feel like the biggest hurdle to clear, and this is true maybe for life in. general, but definitely for habits, because everybody wants to be consistent. with their habits. Everybody wants to. stick to them. The biggest hurdle to. clear is are you interested? Are are you. engaged? Are you having fun? And so the.

more that you can get closer to that, the more fun it can be, the more likely. you are to persevere and stick with it. >> I was just thinking about this idea. actually the other day because I I was. writing when we hit a subscriber. milestone. I was writing to think about. what actually mattered the most. And one. of the first thing I wrote was creating. the conditions to out persist. >> And what I mean by that is like create. the conditions so that you can do this. for long enough that things start. compounding in your favor. like learning. starts compounding in your favor like. the the returns like the the subscribers.

or it could be your finances whatever. start compounding in your favor. >> The question that you asked is very. similar to one that I ask myself a lot. which is am I creating the conditions. for success. So I had a really good. stretch of training in the gym and then. uh about two and a half years ago I was. in pretty good shape and then I had a. year where it was just like really. inconsistent. I missed a lot of workouts. things sometimes it would go well. sometimes it wouldn't whatever. And. after that year I was like okay I got to. change something. And on the surface, you look at it and you think, I'm having. trouble with the workouts. You think. there's some problem with, you know,

exercise, but that was actually not the. problem. The problem was I wasn't. creating the conditions for success. >> And so, there were lots of other things. that were intervening and like making. interrupting my day and making it easy. for me to miss. So, this last year, I. hired a trainer and he shows up at 11:00. a.m. every, you know, four days a week. And when he gets there, every single. time it's a hassle because I'm in the. middle of something. Um, right? every. time I've got something going on and I. kind of am like annoyed by it that he's. there, but we're creating the conditions. for success and it makes sure that I get. down there and I do it and then every.

time when I get done with the workout, I'm like, I'm glad I took the time to do. that. Um, and so nothing really needed. to change with the workout. That was not. the problem. The problem was I didn't. have the right conditions to start the. workout. M. >> and so I think this actually reveals a. really deep and important thing about. habits which is. so much of it is about mastering the art. of getting started. It's making it easy. to start in a way like probably 70% of. what's in atomic habits are different.

strategies and different ideas and. different tools that help you get. started or makes starting easier. This. trainer who I've been working with now. he he came over the other day and he. told me, "Yeah, I had a class in the. morning. eight people were supposed to. come, but it was like it was a pretty. gross day. It was like rainy and wet and. kind of cold and only two people showed. up. And I was talking to him about it. and I said, "What's interesting to me. about that is how little of an edge you. need to gain an advantage." You know, really what we're talking about there is. you just need to be okay with being.

inconvenienced or uncomfortable for like. 5 to 10 minutes getting dressed, getting. through the rain, getting into your car, getting to the gym. The workout is the. same that it's always been. It's the. same. you're in the same gym that you. are in the summer or when the weather's. beautiful or whatever. So, it's really. can you handle that like five minutes of. inconvenience. >> And so many things in life are like. that. Can you master that little moment? And if you can and you can still get. started, that's when you gain an. advantage. Everybody works out on the. good days. But on the days when you feel. stressed and tired, on the days when the. weather's bad and it's kind of.

inconvenient, on the days when you don't. really feel like it, can you show up? even if it's in a small way. One of my. little mantras that I try to keep in. mind is reduce the scope but stick to. the schedule. So the normal scope might. be I write for 30 minutes and then you. look up at the clock and you're like I. only have 15. And sometimes what happens. in your head is you're like oh I don't. have enough time to write today. Or. you're like oh I was planning to work. out for 60 minutes and you look up and. you're like time got away from me. I. only have 20 minutes now. I don't have. time to go to the gym. It's easy to talk. yourself out of it but reduce the scope.

but stick to the schedule. It's like, well, I only got 20 minutes instead of. 60, so I'll just get in there and do a. couple sets of squats and that's it. And. I've had so many workouts that have been. like that where you're like almost, you. know, it's easy to be kind of. disappointed you weren't able to do the. whole thing that you wanted to do. But. you didn't throw up a zero. And if you. don't throw up a zero, you maintain the. habit. And if you maintain the habit, all you need is time. And so the bad. days are more important than the good. days in that sense. You need to figure. out how do you show up even if when it's. not optimal.

>> And that first five minutes. Yeah, I was. thinking about all the the first five. minute battles that I've won over the. last week because I've, you know, I lost. track of my workout. I've been traveling. through Asia on this tour I've been. doing. Got back, fallen off. The. motivation doesn't seem to be quite the. same as it was before I left. [laughter]. So, it's like I'm dragging myself there. The workouts are like four out of 10. Um, but I went. >> Yeah. >> And now I'm I think the momentum is. building. But that first 5 minute point,

is there anything that you've learned, any frameworks, any tactics for for. making sure you you get past that first. 5 minutes so you can get into the the. flow of the habit? >> Yeah, there's multiple things. So first. thing is try to prime the environment to. make the first action easy. Prime the. environment to make the first action. easy. So let's say writing for example. I find that for myself the biggest point. of friction is choosing what to write. about. Once I've actually finally. settled, this is the thing I'm writing. today, then I can get into it and I'm. off and running. Um, but I'll sit there.

for two hours just debating whether it's. the right thing to be focused on writing. or not. You know, should I work on this. chapter? Should I work on something else. or whatever. So, what I've started to do. is sometimes I will write the first. sentence of what I'm going to write and. just leave it on the Google doc right. there and then leave. And the next day. when I come back, I'm already in, right? Like it's already the first sentence is. already written. So now I'm just writing. the next piece of what's coming rather. than trying to choose what to write. about. >> Another one that I've done sometimes is. I will write sometimes I'll write the. topic or I'll write the sentence on a.

post-it note and I'll put it on top of. the keyboard and so when I come into the. office it's right there in front of I. can't you know I got to pick it off the. keys to log onto the computer and so. it's like remember this is what you're. writing about right now you know so it's. just trying to make it easy to get in. I. have a bunch of readers who do stuff. like set their running out running. clothes out the night before, you know, so they're right next to the bed. You. got your clothes and your shoes there. I. one woman I just talked to uh her at an. event. She came up afterward and she. said, "I actually sleep in my running. clothes and just get out and get put her. shoes on and goes right out the door.".

But you're trying to prime the. environment to make the action easy. Okay. So, how can you set up the spaces. that you're in uh to prime those habits? I think one really interesting question. to ask, walk into the rooms where you. spend most of your time each day, your. office, your living room, your bedroom, and then look around and ask yourself, what is this space designed to. encourage? What behaviors are easy here? What behaviors are obvious here? And the. good habits that you say you want to. build, are those the path of least. resistance? Is that the obvious thing in. this environment? And if not, maybe you.

can make some adjustments to try to make. the good habit easier and the. distractions maybe a little bit harder. So that's first thing, prime the. environment to make the action easy. Second thing is if there's like one. principle that is probably the single. most important for building habits, it's. make it easy. Just scale it down and. make it easy. I refer to it sometimes as. the two-minute rule. So take whatever. habit you're trying to work on, you. scale it down to something that takes. two minutes or less to do. Read 30 books. a year becomes read one page or do yoga.

four days a week becomes take out my. yoga mat. Sometimes I will mention this to people. and they resist it a little bit. You. know, they're like, "Okay, buddy." Like, I know the real goal isn't just to take. my yoga mat out. You know, I know I'm. actually trying to do the workout. So, this is some kind of mental trick and I. know it's a trick. Then why would I fall. for it? Basically, but there's this guy, I mentioned him in Atomic Habits, his. name is Mitch. And he went to the gym. and for the first six weeks, he had this. strange little rule for himself where he. wasn't allowed to stay for longer than 5. minutes. So, you get in the car, drive.

to the gym, get out, do half an. exercise, get back in the car, drive. home. And you're like, "This sounds. silly, right? Clearly, this is not going. to get the guy the results that he. wants." But what you realize is that he. was mastering the art of showing up, right? He was becoming the type of. person that went to the gym four days a. week, even if it was only for five. minutes. And so, I think this is kind of. a deep truth about habits, which is a. habit must be established before it can. be improved. you know, has to become the. standard in your life before you. optimize and scale it up into something. more. There's that quote from Ed.

Latimore where he says, "The heaviest. weight at the gym is the front door.". There are a lot of things in life that. are like that. And so, by trying to make. it easy to master, to easy to get. started, um then you're in the game now. You're in the arena. There's all kinds. of things you can improve from there. I. remember um Jordan Peterson saying. talking about his some of his clinical. um patients and referring to one in. particular who was in a room full of. junk and couldn't leave the room because. of a certain fear and certain.

psychological problems he had. And. Jordan saying that day one they just. brought the Hoover into the room and. that was it. Day two they plugged the. Hoover in and that was it. And then by. day like 30 the guy is out of the room, the room is clean and he's walking. around outside for the first time in in. months or years. And he goes on to say. that the reason why people don't get. started is because the first step is so. embarrassing. People think that it's not. worth it or that it's like shameful to. do. It's like almost like patronizingly. embarrassing. And um I've always kept. that in mind uh since then and when from.

your work as well just that assume the. first steps are like embarrassingly. small. >> There's this process called habit. shaping which is is basically like that. Um, you know, like if you want to run a. half marathon, the first day the step. might be to put on your running shoes. and then the second day the step is to. like walk outside the front door and the. third day the step is to go around the. block. And you know, you're just like. gradually shaping into this this larger. habit. But there's this thing that. happens when people think about building. better habits. I think particularly. ambitious people, it's very easy to get.

excited about all the changes you can. make. You start thinking, even if you. don't say this explicitly, you think. like, what would peak performance look. like? you know, if I could really get my. habits dialed in, what could I do? And. you start imagining five, six, seven. things that you would do and what all of. them would look like in their perfect. form and so on. And I think instead of. asking ourselves, what could I do on my. best day, it's better to start by asking. what can I stick to even on the bad. days? And that becomes your baseline. That becomes the first step. And now. that you have this floor that is.

achievable even when you're tired, even. when you're exhausted, even when you. don't have much time, now you can show. up and feel like you're succeeding, you. know, and then you can progress from. there. One of the most motivating. feelings to the human mind is a feeling. of progress. If you feel like you're. making progress, even if it's smaller. than what you ultimately hope to do, you. have every reason to move forward. But. often we become like a victim of our. expectations. We ex we spend all this. time optimizing the perfect plan and. then expect things to go perfectly out. of the gate and you had it so built up. in your mind that once you don't hit.

that mark in the f first or second or. third day it falls apart. >> And you talked earlier on about sitting. there for two hours thinking about what. to write. I I think I've learned through. through business and in the first. iteration of my career where I worked. with CEOs and executives that were. planning marketing campaigns that. actually in hindsight often the biggest. cost wasn't being wrong. It was the time. you waste making a decision. You see. this if you've ever you've interacted. with so many big corporations. Yeah. Like they spend 18 months thinking about. >> get waiting for Joanna to come back from.

annual leave to get procurement to sign. off the thing. And I worked with this. one particular founder during that. season of my life who where I was. working with his dad and him and his dad. would take nine months because the. company was so big. His son would. interrupt me halfway through the idea. and call us all in and say do it now. And he taught me that actually in life. that the biggest cost is the time you. waste making the decision. And I think. about that with my own habits. I think. sometimes sitting around thinking about. whether I'm going to run today is. costing me much more than just [ __ ].

And do you think about how you kill that. mental debate? Like is that an effective. strategy to try and kill the debate and. not make a decision per se? >> Yeah. So speed is perpetually. undervalued. That's for sure. Life is. short and so the sooner that you make. decisions, the sooner you get. information. Now, I will say I I have a. little framework that I call hats, haircuts, and tattoos. And this is how. how I kind of think about it. So, a lot. of decisions are like hats. Just try you. try one hat. If you don't like it, take. it off. You can try another. It's just. real quick. You you know, you get some. information. Speed is most important.

Move quickly, get some information, learn something. If it was wrong, it's. not that big of a deal. Just take it off. and put a new hat on. Haircut is a. little bit trickier. It's a It's a. decision that you have to live with for. a little bit. you know, like you're okay. if you get a bad haircut, but you're. gonna you're gonna have to live with it. for a month or two. You know, it's it's. going to take a little bit of time for. it to grow out. And so, it's probably. not a big deal to be scared of getting a. bad haircut. I think a lot of people. probably talk themselves out of it. It's. like, you'll be fine in a month. It's. it's fine. Tattoos are trickier. You. know, you get a tattoo, you got to live. with that choice. It's permanent. And.

so, if a really what we're getting at. here is, is the choice reversible or is. the choice irreversible? If the choice. is easy to reverse, speed is most. important. You should move fast. If it's. hard to reverse and you got to live with. it, then you need to think carefully. before you make the call. Um, and I. think probably what you're seeing uh. through some of your experiences is that. most decisions in life are hats and. haircuts. It's very rare that you end up. with a tattoo, >> but we treat them all like tattoos. >> We Yeah, we uh I think in particular we. are we are scared, particularly the bad.

haircuts. I think the ones that like. linger for just a little bit, but not. that long. It's like it's going to take. you a month to fix this if if you get it. wrong, but like that's fine. a month's. going to pass anyway. Um, and so it's. not that big of a deal, but we we act. like it's a bigger deal than it is. >> Is there a particular case study or. story from a Atomic Habits community. member or someone that reads your. newsletter. that has been the most impactful for. you? >> There's not a single one. There are lots. that I'm like proud of or really excited. by, ones I'm surprised by. Um, I heard.

from a guy the other day, he was the. head coach at St. Olaf's University in. Minnesota and men's soccer. And when he. came in, their record was something like. five and 13 and they were, you know, like near the bottom of the standings. And he was like, I read Atomic Habits. right around the time I took this job. And we came up with systems for. everything we did. We taught our players. systems for how they tie their shoes and. cleats to get ready for the game. We. taught them systems for how they prepped. for practice. We taught them systems for. their role on the field. And uh, you.

know, gradually they improved each year, five and 13. Then they went like eight. and eight. And then the next year after. that they won the conference. And then. the year after that they went to the. NCAA Sweet 16 and then five years later. they won the national championship. You. know, of course stuff like that's. awesome to hear about, right? You're. like they went from they went from five. wins uh in and then in five years later. they win the national title. But the. ones that matter to me the most are the. ones that I hear from somebody and they. say um I finally feel better. You know,

I feel different. I look in the mirror. and I'm like proud of who I am or uh my. kids tell me that they're excited to. see, you know, the change in me or. things like that. And that's what it's. always been about, you know, it's always. been about becoming the type of person. that you want to be. And so I think uh. anytime I I hear stories like that, I. think it's exciting. >> So when this um was it a coach or was it. >> Yeah, Travis Wall is the head coach at. St. Olaf's. Um he's the head coach at. Kenyon. Uh now, >> so he talked about systems there. Most. of us think about to-do lists and goals. and those kinds of things. What what is. the difference between a system and a.

goal? >> I was very goal driven for a long time. I I mean, I probably still am. You know, I don't think there's any way to get. around the fact that we all have goals. and think about the outcomes we want and. so on. But a goal is about the outcome. that you want to achieve and a system is. about the process for getting there. And. so your goal is the target, the outcome, the thing you're shooting for. Your. system is the collection of daily habits. that you follow. And if there is ever a. gap between your goal and your system, if there's ever a gap between your. desired outcome and your daily habits,

your daily habits will always win, >> you know. And so almost by definition, your current habits are perfectly. designed to deliver your current. results. You know, if you want to see. like where you're going to end up, just. follow the trajectory of your habits. you know what's the process you've been. running for the last 6 months or year or. two years and they've carried you almost. inevitably to the outcomes that you have. right now I'm not saying that habits are. the only thing that matter in life right. like strategy matters luck randomness uh.

those misfortune those things can. influence the outcome but by definition. luck and randomness are not under your. control. >> and your habits are and the only. reasonable rational approach in life is. to focus on the pieces that are within. your control so I think goals can be. good for setting a sense of direction. They're good for clarity. You know, especially if you have a team, get. everybody rowing in the same direction. But once you've decided what the goal. is, you should basically set it on the. shelf, metaphorically speaking, and. spend the vast majority of your time.

focused on building a better system. How. are the habits we're executing each day. moving us closer to this outcome that we. want? And so where I've come after. talking about this for five or six years. now since book's been out, where I've. come down on it is goals are best for. people who care about winning once. Systems are best for people who care. about winning repeatedly. If you really. want to make progress again and again, if you want to get to the top and stay. at the top, you need some process for. staying up there. Some collection of. habits that's going to keep uh this. machine running. So this is why, you.

know, I say in the book, we don't rise. to level of our goals, we fall to level. of our systems. As you were talking, I. was thinking so much about about. business and founders and entrepreneurs. because they all have big goals. We want. to build the best AI app or the best I. don't know restaurant and we they stay. really focused on those. But the great. the greatest founders that I think I've. met and interviewed on this show are. actually really orientated on like what. you call in the book first principles. and systems. Mhm. >> Is there a way to to become more.

orientated towards systems and and. thinking about first principles like the. the habits that lead to the goal is or. is it just just so that some people have. it cuz like Elon Musk is always talking. about first principles and he thinks in. terms of building the system. I do think. some of it is personality and like what. you what's exciting to you to think. about like some people are very future. oriented and like thinking about what. the systems are and what that would lead. them to and and so on um or more. processoriented but there are a number. of questions that you can ask that can. help you figure out like what systems.

you should be focused on you know so. like a couple of the ones I like one. question is can my current habits carry. me to my desired future so you have a. bunch of habits you're following right. now what what path are you on you know. can your current habits take you there? And they could be either way. Like. sometimes the answer is yes. And what. you need is patience. You just need to. keep, you know, staying on the path. But. sometimes the answer is no. And then. obviously something needs to change. You. know, you're hoping for one outcome, but. then you're following a different. lifestyle. >> So to want the outcome without the. lifestyle is to like torture yourself.

And what really matters is not do you. want the the result. Anybody would like. the result if you just hand it to them. The question is do you want the. lifestyle? One of the little things I. try to do whenever I have a new business. project that I'm thinking about or. something I'm I'm excited about. potentially doing, the first question I. ask is how do I want to spend my days? And so then you like draw a box and. inside that box, how can we make the. most money, reach the most people, make. the biggest impact, you know, make the. contribution that you want to make, but. not outside of it. And what happens a.

lot of the time is people do that in. reverse. They start by asking how can we. make the most money or reach the most. people or make the biggest impact and. then they decide oh well this is what I. want to do but it's actually outside of. how they want to spend their days. >> and it's not going to work out well. because you know it goes back to our. point uh previously about is this fun. you know if the if they don't want to. spend their time that way you're just. grinding for a little while and. eventually it's not going to work. That's the key for building systems that. really work is is this how you want to. spend your days. the person who wants to. live the lifestyle is much better.

positioned to get the result. >> You say that um there are multiple. problems with with goals as a I guess as. a rubric for thinking about what to do. or what to aim for. One of them is that. winners and losers have the same goals. >> Everybody wants the results. Let's say. you have a 100 people apply for a job. You got a new job opening. >> Presumably, [clears throat]. every candidate has the goal of getting. the job. The goal is not the thing that. determines the outcome. So the person. who wins and the 99 people who lose, they have the same goals. You look at. the Olympic Games, presumably any event,

everybody who's competing has the goal. of winning the Olympic medal, right? Of. winning the gold. So the goal is not the. thing that makes the difference. So. again, winners and losers have the same. goals. So if they have the same goals, they cannot be the thing that make the. difference in their performance. It has. to be something else. Maybe having a. goal is part of it. Maybe it's. necessary, but it's not sufficient for. the outcome that you want. And for that, what you need is a system. You need a. collection of habits that are going to. make the difference um and uh and. accumulate into a bigger outcome. >> And you say goals restrict your.

happiness. >> There's some implicit promise internally. that once I get to this goal, then I'll. be happy. You know, once I write a New. York Times bestseller, then I'll feel. better about it. You know, once I. achieve this certain number on the. scale, then I'll be happy with my body. Once I get to a million dollars in. revenue, then I'll be happy with the. business. And so you're kind of. constantly pushing happiness off to the. next milestone and thinking that once. you get there, then finally you'll be. satisfied. But I think in fact the. better way to do it is to fall in love.

with the process, to fall in love with. the lifestyle, then you can be happy. along the way and still achieve the. goals as you go, still achieve the. milestones. For a long time, I wrestled. I had trouble with this question of do I. have to be dissatisfied if I want to be. driven? >> Yeah. >> Do you have to be dissatisfied to be. driven? Because to me, I felt like. there's where I'm at right now and. there's where I want to be. And so. there's this gap and there that gap is. dissatisfaction. That gap is, you know, you're you want it to change. You want. it to close. And it's also what is.

motivating and driving you is to try to. close that gap. And so the healthiest. answer, maybe the answer is yes, I don't. know. But uh the healthiest answer that. I've come up with is imagine like an. acorn falls from a tree. it manages to. take root, becomes a seedling and then a. sapling and eventually grows into this. mature oak tree. And at no point in that. process when it was just an acorn, it. wasn't criticizing itself for not being. a sapling. You know, it was just a. sapling, it wasn't criticizing itself. for not being an oak. Um, it wasn't. dissatisfied with where it was at. And.

nobody came over and was criticizing it. for, "Oh, I can't believe you're not a. full-grown tree yet." But it kept. growing the whole time. So. simultaneously you have this thing where. it was both perfect at each stage that. it was at. Nothing was wrong and yet it. continued to grow. And the reason is. because that's just what an oak tree. does. That's what it is encoded to do. It is encoded for growth. And so when I. look at myself, I think if I put myself. in the right position, that's how I feel. about it. You know, I I am perfectly.

happy with where I'm at at each stage. And yet I'm encoded to grow, right? I'm. encoded to keep going. And so I can both. be driven and be satisfied. I can both. be appreciative of the moment and still. moving forward. And I think that works. best when you find that thing. Sometimes. we call it your strengths. Sometimes we. might say it's what you're encoded to. do. Uh but when you find that thing that. is well aligned for you and if you do. find that, then you can have both of. those. >> I love that. I love that. And I think.

with with age and maturity, I've gotten. closer to being in that region where I'm. well aware nothing is going to make me. happier at all. like no accomplishment. future nothing's going to change. anything. >> but at the same time I'm still striving. and that does feel like a contradiction. to some degree it feels like how can. those two things be true at the same. time that you're striving for things. that you know won't really move the. needle in any any way the difference I. see between like me and something in. nature is that I the thing in nature. probably isn't comparing itself on. Instagram to like.

>> everyone else and I understand humans to. be like comparison machines kind of how. we understand the value of things like I. understand the value of the steak on a. menu by the the cheap steak and the most. expensive one. So I think the middle one. is probably right. Do you think much. about comparison as a motivating or. demotivating force in this picture? >> I think it can be very helpful and also. it can also be very harmful. So it's. just sort of a a sense of how you use. it. I tend to find it better if you. compare small things. So if you compare. marketing strategies or squat form or. you know writing style or you know the.

first sentence of each chapter like how. do I have a good intro? If you compare. tactics, then that can be really helpful. for building skills and for developing. your ability. If you compare big things, marriage, net worth, you know, things. like that, it's like that's just kind of. a recipe for ending up unhappy. Um. because they as the scale gets bigger, things get more vague. There's so many. things involved in marriage and so you. know, or net worth or whatever. You you. just see one little slice and you are. trying to compare these two big things, but you don't even know what the full. picture is. Uh, and so comparison is.

like the teacher of skills when it's. applied narrowly, but it's the thief of. joy when it's applied broadly. >> That makes sense. Yeah. >> Early on, when you said that, you know, ambitious people, they have lots of. aspirations, lots of habits they want to. start. I was thinking about myself and. thinking there's probably 30 habits that. I would like to acquire. I'd want to be. better at writing. I want to be a. runner. I want to be better at speaking. I want to be a better friend and be more. um attentive with my friends and make. sure I text them on their birthdays and. sh you know. >> all of these new habits that I want to.

pursue. How does one know which one to. aim for first? Is there a framework for. knowing? >> Yeah, there there's some things that you. can do. I don't think um to your point. earlier about uh sometimes the riskiest. things just take a long time making a. decision. You know, if you maybe you. should just pick one and work on it and. then you can get on to the next one. But. I do think there's some level of. strategy which is a good place to start. is by asking yourself which habits are. upstream from other good things. happening. So for example I know that if.

you were maybe the maybe the question to. start with is when you live a good day. when you feel dialed in when things are. like rolling along well for you what. tends to be part of that day sleep. you. know, okay, great. So, that's, you know, I would say for me, sleep, sleep is. definitely one. I would say, uh, getting. my workout in. And usually reading and. writing are a part of it, but I think I. could just boil it down to reading. If I. just read like 10 pages, that often. sparks the writing. So, like to me, reading is like the fuel for writing for. me. So, so I could say get a workout in. and read for 5 minutes or 10 minutes.

Those are the two things that are part. of a good day. And what happens is. they're upstream from a lot of other. good things happening. For example, if I. get the workout in, yeah, I feel good. I. get the benefits of the workout, but I. also have a post-workout high for like. an hour or two. So, I my focus and. concentration is better. I sleep better. at night because I got the workout in. Now, I'm tired. >> I tend to eat better when I work out. It's when I'm not working out that I eat. terribly. That's why I don't know. It's. kind of like I don't want to waste it or. something. So, at no point was I trying. to build better focus habits or sleep.

habits or nutrition habits. those just. came kind of a na as a natural. consequence of getting the workout in. >> So what are those things that you do. that are upstream from other good things. happening? I think those are good like. anchor habits to start and focus on. >> But if I could add another one for. myself, I would say it's a little bit of. time. It's really just time to think, but it's it's time to reflect and. review. There's this interesting thing. that happens if you if you have a really. good work ethic, if you have a strong. work ethic and working hard has gotten. you far in life. It kind of becomes a.

crutch. You know, you for for a long. time I was like, if I ever had a. problem, I was like, well, I'll just. work my way out of it, you know? I'll. just just work harder on it until I. figure it out. And that that's great. That's really powerful for a lot of. things. But at some point it breaks, you. know, like you can maybe if you really. try maybe you can work 10% harder or 20%. harder, but there's some limit. But if. you work on the right thing, well, you. could get 100x the result or thousandx. the result. And so if you just keep your. head down and work hard, it's very.

unlikely that you'll be spending your. time in the highest and best way. >> And the only way to figure that out is. to have time to reflect and review. Time. to think, you know, so you need enough. time to think to figure out what should. I be focused on next. And so I think. that is it's almost reflection and. review is almost like the meta habit. that is above all others because if you. give yourself time to reflect and review. then you can troubleshoot your habits. and figure out how to adjust them. I was. thinking as you were saying that that. that that time to reflect and review is. actually also a review of are my current.

systems moving me closer because when. when when you're talking about that I. was thinking of times in my life where I. was so close to like the picture and I. was so in the trenches doing the thing. that I hadn't come up to even say. actually is there a system I could put. in place to solve this problem over the. next five or 10 years like for example. is there a person I need to hire so. actually should I go into the hiring. process versus be in there fixing the. problem myself should I spend 10 hours. this week hire on hiring a candidate to. do this or should I be doing it but. sometimes you get so caught up in the.

trenches when especially when things are. tough and and difficult and moving very. quickly that you don't review your. systems and also when you're talking. about systems I thought about how. systems sometimes expire. >> Sure. Yeah. >> Because things change. >> That's a great point and I think this is. probably one of the most overlooked. things with habits. A lot of the time. when someone sits down and they want to. build a new habit, they don't say this, but what they kind of assume is what it. would mean to be successful with this. habit is that I do it for the rest of my. life, you know, and that if at some. point I'm not doing it, then that must. mean that I failed or I quit on it.

>> But that's not how it is at all. Like. things have a season, you know, and so. habits have to change shape over time. >> Let's take my um my writing habit for. example. I the habit that launched my. career was I wrote a new article every. Monday and Thursday and I did that for. three years. So the first three years. 150 articles you know write twice a. week. That was a great habit. They were. like 2,000 word pieces or so. But then I. signed the book deal for Atomic Habits. I didn't have the capacity to do that. and also write the book. So that had to. change. I wrote the book for like three. years and then the book came out and now.

I write a newsletter once a week and. that's much shorter. But I kind of feel. like my writing habit is maintained that. whole time. It just changed shape. But. that's fine. It just needed to shift. based on the season. But I don't know, people, they get so attached to one form. of a habit sometimes that they don't. realize that it's no longer serving. them. >> And I think that's the one of the. trickier things to give up is a habit. that used to be good for you, that used. to work well, but no longer serves you. in your current season. It's I find that. I'm kind of a slow learner with that. I.

guess parents can probably really relate. because they're forced to basically. change their goals and therefore their. systems would have to I mean you're a. father of three so you probably know. this much better than I do but have has. there been systems that you've had to. sort of. >> I think there's lots of uh inflection. points in life so having kids is one of. them uh starting a new job moving to a. new city you know it can be big stuff. like that I just talked to a mother who. her kids moved out so she's now an empty. neester you know she's like last 25. years I've been parenting all these kids. and now finally they're all out, but it.

feels in some sense it almost feels like. a loss of identity. You know, you're. like, I I thought I was one thing and. now, you know, feels like things have. shifted. Um, but also it just signals an. inflection point in life and a new. season that you're in. And when your. seasons change, your habits often need. to change with it. And you talk about. this um four burners theory which I. guess dovetailes into what we're talking. about here where you you use this to. kind of think about what habits to. pursue in any season of life but also a. phrase that I've heard um so often. specifically from mothers on the show.

comes to mind which is that you can't. have it all at the same time. >> and I've heard that I think four or five. times different mothers in particular. which is I mean says something about. society yeah have said to me that. they've had to realize that they can't. have it all at the same time. >> for sure. So this is not my concept. This this idea that I came across. It's. called the four burners theory. And it. breaks life into these four burners on a. stove. So you have work and career as. one. You have family, friends, and then. personal health or you know uh yourself. basically as the other. The idea is that.

for the burners to really be going well, you can't have all four on at the same. time. >> And burning stove. >> The stove. Yeah. Yeah. The stove top. So. you you have you can choose you could. have three going on at kind of like a. mid level, but if you really want them. to do well, you can only have two on at. the same time. And you know, who knows? I I don't know if it's true or not or. whatever, but it's an interesting idea. And what it does is it gets you to. realize, yeah, a fundamental part of. life is trade-offs. And you cannot be. good at everything at the same time. So. this is true across projects. If you.

choose try to do seven things at once, spreading yourself thin in seven. different ways, very hard to be. excellent. For me, what I think about is. life has a series of seasons and life. has a series of sequences. So, let's say. it's not it's not always exactly 10. years, but let's say the big movements. in life are roughly 10-year buckets, right? So, like for me, building my. first business, that was kind of like a. 10-year thing and eventually led to the. launch of Atomic Habits. You maybe get. five or six of those in your adult life. Some of those things make sense to do in. a different order than others. Like if.

you want to travel the world and see a. bunch of places and party in a visa, you're probably not going to do that in. your 60s, you know? Like I mean, you. can. There's no nobody's saying you. can't, but some things are probably. better sequenced in other, you know, in. other spots. Obviously, there's, you. know, especially for women, there's a. certain limit on if you want to have a. family, what decades that happens in. So, yeah, it's just uh it's just a. matter of sequencing and prioritization. If you look at the like tapestry of your. life, what do you want the big movements. to be and where do those seasons need to. slot in? Um, yeah, it's a it's a that.

there is no right answer, but it's. interesting. As soon as you realize it's. a finite number, and as soon as you. realize that trade-offs are always going. to be a reality, >> you have to deal with that in some way. Um, I've decided that right now while my. kids are young, like I'm I'm going to. turn the career burner down. And that's. fine. It's not going to be how it was. for the last 10 years. But that's okay. because they're only five once, you. know? They're only turning six once. They only go to second grade once. And I. I want to be there for all that. So, um, there are always trade-offs.

>> I think that that sequence point is. super super interesting. It got me. thinking because you're right, there are. sort of some constraints whether they're. biological constraints where in the case. of your kids like just natural. constraints that mean this this season. can only happen now here, right? >> Yeah. There's also some things like um, you know, both of us are fairly young. entrepreneurs. I'm so glad that I. started a business in my 20s rather than. my 50s. Um, doesn't mean you can't do it. in your 50s. There's no nobody's saying. you can't. It's just that it makes. things a lot easier for the next decade. You know, it's easier for me to be there.

for my kids now because I have control. of my time because I did the business. part in the previous decade. And so take. the risks. >> Yeah. And and that doesn't mean it's. always going to work out or whatever. It. doesn't mean that you're going to be. able to perfectly plan it all, but you. just see how the sequences can um can. stack up in that way. >> And how important do you think when. we're talking about habits, do you think. repetition is? because there's so many. of these sort of well-known concepts or. frameworks in habit formation. One of. them is that habits take roughly 66. days. One of them is that it's about.

repetition. Does repetition really. matter? >> It definitely does. I mean, repetition. is how habits form. Uh the 66 days. number comes from one study that came. out that found that on average it took. about 66 days to build a habit. If you. look at the study, the range is pretty. wide. So, if you pick something really. simple like drinking a glass of water um. at lunch each day, that might only take. two or three weeks to form. If you look. at something more complicated like um. going for a run after work every day, that might take seven or eight or nine. months to form. And so, I don't know.

that 66 days really tells you anything. It doesn't it doesn't tell you that this. is how long it's going to take for your. habit to stick. I mean, it the range is. wide. Sometimes when people ask me how. long does it take to form a habit, my. answer is forever. Because if you stop. doing it, then it's no longer a habit. And what I'm kind of getting at with. that is that habits are not a finish. line to be crossed. They're a lifestyle. to be lived, you know? And so we. approach our habits as if it's a finish. line. Oh, let me do this 30-day cleanse. and then I'll be healthy. Let me do this.

90-day sprint and then the product will. be shipped. I won't have to worry about. it anymore, you know? And it's like most. things in life, especially the big. important things, they're endless. They're endless battles, you know. So, just because you went to the gym. yesterday earns you no bo bonus points. for tomorrow. Like, you still have to. show up tomorrow. Just because you were. a good spouse yesterday earns you no. bonus points for tomorrow. You still. have to be loving and caring again. Um, and so all the things that really matter. are endless battles. And it's not about. crossing a finish line. It's about. living that kind of lifestyle. And so,

yes, it is true that repetition matters. And yes, it is true that the habits will. become more seamless and automatic and. maybe a little less effortful as you. repeat them more, but that doesn't mean. that you'll never have to think about. them or, you know, worry about them. again. >> Do you think much about what's going on. in the brain when repetition occurs? Like, what is it that's making it. easier? If I', if I've been on a on a. roll with the gym, I've been going for. 60 days in a row. Why does it feel. easier on day 61? That's a tricky question because um if.

you were to talk to an academic and they. would tell you like a habit is this. automatic non-concious behavior. Really. quick simple things like brushing your. teeth, tying your shoes, every time you. pick up a pair of barbecue tongs, you. got to tap them together twice, you. know, like stuff that you don't even. really think about. Okay, that's actual. habitual behavior. But if I were to ask. you, what are some habits you're trying. to build? you would say, "I'm trying to. go to the gym four days a week or I'm. trying to write every morning or I'm. trying to meditate, you know, five days. a week or whatever." And I know what you. mean when you say that. You mean I want.

it to be this routine, this practice. that I do consistently. But like writing. every day is never going to be mindless. the way that brushing your teeth is. You. know, going to the gym is not going to. be automatic the way that tying your. shoes might be. And so the things that. we there's a little bit of sloppiness in. the word habits and how we use it in. life. It's not they're not automatic. mindless routines most of the time. Most. of the things that we want to be habits. are not like reflexes. They're routines. and rituals that we do consistently.

>> So having said that, it is true that. after you've gone to the gym for a month. or two, it does start to get easier. And. I think there's a number of forces that. kind of work in your favor there. One is. you figured a lot out about uh what it. takes to get into the gym. What time am. I going? What route do I take? How do I. pack my bag? Do I need to bring a water. bottle or is there a water fountain at. the gym? Like all those sorts of things. are little one-time costs that you got. to figure out early on that once you're. into a pattern, you already know them. >> You know, the water bottle thing sounds.

like a small thing. I heard from someone. who said, "I always forget to bring my. water bottle and they don't have water. fountains at this gym." So like I I. sometimes I skip the workout because of. that. You know, it's like it's. remarkable how little friction it takes. to pull us off course. Mhm. >> And so figuring out all of those things. is something that once you're a month or. two in, you've crossed all you've, you. know, you've fought all those battles. and now you know how to do it. So that. makes it easier. The other thing is you. start to build friendships, start to. build connections, you start to know the. people there, you feel comfortable. there. There's this concept Steven. Presfield talks about where u you know.

if you have a wolf and it's roaming. around uh eventually it starts to feel. like it has its territory and early on. in a process a creative process writing. a book or whatever you go into the. office the first time to write the first. chapter of the book and you kind of feel. uncomfortable it feels like it's not you. yet you go to the gym on the first day. you feel like people are judging you do. I look stupid I don't know how to do. this but after a while it becomes your. territory it's just like the wolf it. starts to feel like your home court and. so That familiarity I think also makes. it much easier to stick to the habits,

you know, once you start to feel. comfortable there and that takes a. little bit of time. And then the last. piece is identity. The more that you. start to follow this habit, the more you. repeat a habit, the more you reinforce. being that type of person, the more you. start to have that element of your. story. I think this is one of the most. important things for building habits and. getting habits to stick, which is how. your habits reinforce your desired. identity. We often start by asking what. do I wish to achieve? But I think what. we really should start with is who do I. wish to become? What are my actions.

reinforcing? What are my actions taking. me closer toward? In a sense, every. action you take is like a vote for the. type of person you wish to become. So, no, doing one push-up does not transform. your body, but it does cast a vote for. I'm the type of person who doesn't miss. workouts. And no, writing one sentence. does not finish a novel, but it does. cast a vote for I'm a writer. And no, sending one bit of positive feedback. does not make you like the world's best. leader, but it does cast a vote for I'm. the type of leader who cares about their. teammates. And individually, those are.

small things, but collectively you build. up this body of evidence for being that. kind of person. >> It's a little bit [clears throat]. different than what you often hear. Like. you often hear people say something like. um fake it till you make it. >> And I don't necessarily have anything. wrong with fake it till you make it. Like it's um asking you to believe. something positive about yourself. But. behavior and beliefs are a two-way. street. And so what you believe. influences the actions you will take. And the actions you take also influences. what you will believe. And my. encouragement, my suggestion is to start.

with the action. To let the behavior. lead the way. To make one sales call or. meditate for one minute or do one. push-up and let that in that moment be. evidence that you were that type of. person. You know, if you go outside. today and you shoot a basketball for. five minutes, you don't instantly think, "Oh, I'm a basketball player." But if. you do it every day for next three. months or six months or a year, at some. point you cross this invisible threshold. where you have to admit, I guess playing. basketball is like kind of an important. part of who I am. You know, I guess it's. part of my identity. And once you adopt.

a habit as part of your story, once it. becomes part of how you see yourself, it's not just like I need to go for a. run. It's like I am a runner, you know, I go I do this because this is part of. who I am. Then you'll fight to maintain. the habit, right? Like then then it. becomes easier for it to stick. And so. the connection between habits and. identity I think is ultimately how you. really get habits to stick for the long. run. >> It reminds me of a study I was reading. recently that said if you speak to. someone in terms of giving them an. identity versus. using a word as an adjective the.

behavior occurs. So an example would be. if I you do something for me and I say. do you know what James you are a kind. person. >> in the studies people become more kind. But if I say that was kind. >> or that action was kind people are less. kind. So if I if I can give you feedback. that embodies your identity, then you're. more like likely for that behavior to. occur. So with my team, and this is. maybe giving a bit of the game away, >> I will often refer to them as an. identity. I will say you are an. innovator. >> You are an experimental because from the.

studies I've read that increases the. probability that they embody that. identity. >> There's another study that um did it for. voting. So people were more likely to go. and vote if you said like I am a voter. You got them to identify as I'm a voter. rather than are you voting today? Um, and so same same thing. There's an. example in Atomic Habits I talk about. Imagine two people who are trying to. quit smoking, you know, and so the first. person gets offered a cigarette and they. say, "Oh, no thanks. I'm trying not to. smoke." Um, and the second person gets. offered and they say, "Oh, no thanks. I'm not a smoker." And so the first. person is trying to resist something.

that they still see themselves as, but. the second person no longer sees. themselves as the type of person who. smokes. And um yeah, some of the. evidence and research suggests that once. you adopt those identities, it's it's. easier for you to stick to the behavior. >> Reminds me of the research from Leon. Festinger, the guy that came up with the. term cognitive dissonance. >> The way that I understand the concept of. cognitive dissonance is that if I have a. perceived identity of myself and. something external threatens that or. challenges it, we're not good at living. in contradiction. I'm not good at So, for example, I'm a an accountant right.

now and I hear that AI is doing. accountancy work amazingly well. Now, I've invested 10 years in that. accountancy degree. I see myself as a. great accountant. My my my sort of initial reaction will. probably be to either dismiss my current. identity as a great accountant that. that's going to have a great career in. the future or to dismiss the AI. And he. talks, well, people that have studied. his work talk about how we're very poor. at being able to hold two contradictory. things to be true at the same time. So,

um we tend to protect our identity. >> Yes. Um, there's something incredibly. powerful about this that also ties into. habits, which is that a lot of our. identity, not not the whole thing, but. large portions of our identity are tied. to our relationships. You know, I'm a. father, I'm a, you know, husband, I'm a, you know, and so like it's the. connection that we have with others. Our. social bonds influence the picture that. we have of ourselves. >> This is something that widely influences. our habits, you know. So, we are all. part of multiple groups. Sometimes that. group is large, like what it means to be.

American or what it means to be British. Sometimes that group is small, like what. it means to be a neighbor on your street. or a member of this family or a member. at the local CrossFit gym. But all of. the groups that you belong to, large and. small, have a set of shared expectations. for how you act. Have a set of social. norms for what you do in that group. And. when your habits go with the grain of. the expectations of the group, they're. pretty attractive. You know, like you. want to stick to them. You get praised. and rewarded for it. You fit in. And. when they go against the grain of the.

expectations of the group, they're kind. of unattractive. You get criticized and. it doesn't feel good. And so if people. have to choose between, I have habits. that um I want, but I'm cast out, I'm. ostracized, I'm criticized, or I have. habits that I don't really love, but I. fit in, I belong, I'm part of something. Most of the time, the desire to belong. overpowers the desire to improve. And so. you want to do something different, but. you also know you're going to be heavily. criticized for it or you're going to at.

least add friction to your. relationships. And we don't want to live. with that dissonance. That dissonance of. I could have this, but I also create. friction here. One of the lessons I. think one of the big takeaways if you. want to build better habits and get. habits to stick particularly for the. long run is you want to join groups. where your desired behavior is the. normal behavior. join groups where you. can rise together, where the people that. you're surrounded by have the type of. habits that you want to have. >> It reminds me of this um this thing that.

appeared in Jeff Bezos's shareholder. letter about resisting the equilibrium. >> H I I didn't know about this. Go ahead. >> So, in Jeff Bezos's shareholder letter, he writes to shareholders that when. referring to Amazon's ability and desire. and need to innovate through the future, he says he makes a comparison to Richard. Dawkins book called the I think it's a. blind clock maker. Uh yeah the yeah. blind watchman. >> blind watchman. Yeah yeah yeah yeah and. says that essentially all living. organisms live in this constant battle. to resist their equilibrium and actually. death itself is when we become our.

environment because right now me and you. have huge amount of energy expenditure. to be different from our environment in. terms of temperature in terms of acidity. etc. And he he's making the comparison. which sounded a lot what like what you. just said that if you want to that all. living organisms are in this constant. battle to be different from our. environment. Um and that the more. different our environment is the harder. the fight. So if I go to the desert my. body has to put put out even more energy.

to be a different temperature to be a. different sort of acidity than the. environment. But if I want to make my. life easier and make that fight easier, then go into an environment where my. environment is the same as my internal. my internal state. >> That's great. The I think that punchline. of the more different your environment. is from the habits that you want to. build or from whatever equilibrium. you're trying to achieve, the harder you. will have to fight to maintain. >> And that is a fight that you can do for. I don't know a day, a week, a month, but. it's some limited amount of time. At.

some point it just is draining to try to. grind against the environment all the. time. Sometimes I view environment both. physical and social almost like a form. of gravity. You know, like the the. physical environment that we're in right. now, okay, that's always nudging you in. certain directions. Like I'm I'm sitting. in this chair right now talking to you. I could be sitting anywhere else, but I. would have to sit on the floor, right? The the environment of the chair is. ushering me to this spot. It's almost. like a form of gravity pulling me here.

rather than getting me to go somewhere. else. When we leave this room, if I. wanted, I could try to do something. crazy and break through a wall or climb. through the ceiling or whatever, but I'm. going to go through the door because. that's where the environment is. naturally nudging me toward. It's the. where that behavior happens easily. And. all of our spaces are like that. You're. always being kind of pulled toward what. is natural and easy and consistent in. that environment. So, how can you prime. your environment to make those the. things you want to do? That's for. physical environment. Social environment. is the same. You know, it's all you're. always kind of being pulled toward what.

the behaviors are that are natural. there. What are the social norms? What. are the things that people get praised. and rewarded for? What are what is the. culture typically calling you to do? And. that's where I think the answer is you. want to surround yourself with groups. who have the behaviors you want to have. Join groups where your desired behavior. is normal. If it's normal in that group, then you can rise together. So, I mean. that that must mean getting rid of. certain people in one's life. And. sometimes those people are hard to get. rid of because their families, their. moms, their dads.

>> Sure. And I, you know, I'm a little uh. sometimes you hear people say things. like, "Fire your friends," you know, or. whatever. Like, and I I I'm not I'm not. all the way there. Uh I I think that. yes, it is true. Sometimes you have um. an extreme circumstance where it's a. particularly toxic person or something. like that. And yeah, like you know, you. probably maybe should not be around them. and that those can lead to very hard. decisions. But I would say for the. majority of life and the majority of. your relationships, what we're really. talking about here is not getting rid of. relationships. We're talking about.

finding specific places where that habit. can thrive. So here are some examples. There's a number of studies that have. shown that it tends to be easier to. build a new habit in a new environment. So for example, if you Well, first let. me back up. There's an interesting way. to define what a habit is, which is that. it is a behavior that is tied to a. particular context. So, for example, your habit of watching Netflix might be. tied to the context of your couch at 7. p.m. And whenever you walk into your. living room and you're by your couch and.

it's in the evening, you're kind of. naturally being pulled toward picking up. the remote and doing that because that's. the context the habit happens in. So, if. you want to build a new habit, and. again, these studies have found that it. tends to be easier to build a new habit. in a new environment. Well, let's say. you want to start a habit of journaling. Well, you walk into your living room in. the evening and you sit down on the. couch and you're like, I'm going to. start journaling. But you're naturally, you know, your brain is kind of like, well, it's time to pick up the remote. and turn on the TV. That doesn't always. mean that you need a brand new space, like a new building or a new room to do.

every habit in. But you could do. something like you could get a chair and. put it in the corner of the room and. that becomes the journaling chair and. the only thing that you do when you sit. in that chair is you journal for five. minutes. So now you have a new context. that is tied to the behavior that you. want to perform. And in the social. sense, so this is what we were talking. about previously. You want to be able to. create a space that is a safe place for. that envir for that habit to live or for. that habit to thrive. say um sometimes. there those spaces are ready made like.

uh let's say you want to do yoga four. days a week but you look around your. family or your friends in your apartment. that you're living nobody else is. interested they don't want to do it too. you do it in the living room you kind of. get made fun of or you're stepping on. other people's space they're like I'm. trying to do stuff in here too you know. it's just kind of inconvenient well you. can go to a yoga studio and that's a. place where for that hour you can be. surrounded by a group where your desired. behavior is normal you don't have to. fire any of your friends um and you can. just go to the place where that happens. that can thrive. And I think each habit. likes to have that. It likes to have. somewhere where it can exist in a way.

that it's going to be supported or in a. way where the environment makes it easy. Sometimes the environment is readyade. like that. Other times it's not. So for. me, one of the most useful things that I. did in my entrepreneurial career, I had. I had no entrepreneurs in my family, no. authors. So I had this thing that I kind. of wanted to do, but I I didn't have. anybody close to me that I could like. look to. first six months that I was an. entrepreneur, I sent like 300 cold. emails just to other people that were. like a year or two ahead of me. Someone. who seemed like you're actually doing. this thing where, you know, you've got.

this online audience and you're you're. writing about stuff you like. Um maybe. 30 people got back to me. I did like a. little, you know, Zoom call or whatever. and, you know, we chatted and connected. and then I met some of them at a. conference like six months later. So I. was six months in. I knew like maybe 10. people that I had met in person and I. had like 30 that I had reached out to. So now it feels like okay at least I. know a couple people who have done this. thing and I started hosting these. retreats every once or twice a year I'd. get six or eight authors together and.

I'd say let's just rent an Airbnb. We'll. split the cost and we can talk about how. to build an audience and how to grow. your you know email list and how to. write a book and launch it and you know. all the stuff that we were kind of. focused on. It was almost always like. the best six month uh best weekend of my. year. Um because I would have six months. worth of stuff that I need to execute on. after that was done. >> That's kind of like going to a yoga. studio for yoga, but you had to create. the space. I was always worried that I. was going to look like some dork, you. know, and like invite everybody and they. would all say no or whatever. But.

everybody wants the same thing. You. know, they're all waiting for somebody. to create the space for like-minded. people to get together. So sometimes you. need enough courage to create the space. yourself. But the punch line is the. same, which is you're trying to surround. yourself with people where your desired. behavior is the normal behavior. I've had so many founders speak to me. and say, "Why didn't this particular ad. that I ran on this platform work for. me?" Maybe the copy wasn't good. The. creative wasn't strong. But usually the. problem is they're not having the right. conversation because that ad never. reached the right person. And if you're.

in B2B marketing, that is much of the. game. And this is where LinkedIn ads. solves that problem for you. Their. targeting is ridiculously specific. You. can target by job title, seniority, company size, industry, and even. someone's skill set. And their network. includes over a billion professionals. About 130 million of them are decision. makers. So when you use LinkedIn ads, you're putting your brand in front of. the right people. And LinkedIn ads also. drive the highest B2B return on ad spend. across all ad networks in my experience.

If you want to give them a try, head. over to linkedin.com/diary. And when you spend $250 on your first. LinkedIn ads campaign, you'll get an. extra $250 credit from me for the next. one. That's linkedin.com/diary. Terms and conditions apply. I'm thinking about all the people that. um are currently sat in a in a job that. they don't like. They're sat in the a. job in the middle of a big city. They're. miserable. They want to go do something. else. They want to go be an author. They.

want to go follow in your footsteps. They want to build a business in a media. business for example, but they're so far. away from that. They're held in place by. their parents' expectations. They're. held in place by a mortgage and all the. things that you know, life when they get. home every day. They're tired. Really, really tired. So, it's remained a dream. You must have so many of those people. that write to you that message you. >> [snorts]. >> um because of what you've you've. produced and because of the the content. that you make. What do you say to those. people?

Where where does one one such person. start? >> One is I don't think it serves you in. any way to just like kind of wallow in. how hard it is or to talk about how. tough talking complaining about how hard. it is just makes it harder, >> you know? >> So the the act of complaining makes a. bad situation worse. The act of. emphasizing the things that are going. well or trying to take it's kind of this. endless game of trying to take your. current advantages and gain new. advantages. So like early on most people. don't have many advantages. Like I.

didn't know anybody in the industry. I. didn't have any money. I didn't have any. experience. But the one advantage that I. did have was I had time. And so I could. use that time to try to gain new. advantages. So in my case, I used the. time to write two articles a week. And I. did that for two years. I did like kind. of freelance gigs on the side to pay the. bills and stuff. And eventually that's. how I built the audience. And then once. I had the audience two years later, then. I I had a new advantage, right? I not. only had time, I also had an email list. Now I can go from there and I could get. a book deal and then I have a new.

advantage. I have a book deal and then. you know you just kind of like. continually use your current advantages. to gain new advantages. >> And um I just talked about this for. about 20 seconds. That was about seven. years of my life that the span of all. that, right? It goes it goes slower than. what you want. But um it's kind of just. that that endless game. >> It goes slower than you would want. Makes me think about this whole uh idea. of being 1% better every day. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What are the most sort of pertinent. parts of of understanding that graph? >> Two things stand out. All right. So,

first is this is this charts showing. what this is showing is if you get 1%. better each day for a year. Okay? So, 1.01 to the 365th power, you get 37. times better by the end of the year. Right? So, that's this curve. If you get. 1% worse, 0.99 to the 3665th power, you. drive yourself almost all the way down. zero. Now a chart like this is just. compound interest, right? This is just a. compounding curve. And real life is not. exactly like compound interest. You. know, your habits are not exactly like.

this mathematical formula. But I think. this chart does a good job of. encapsulating what the process of. behavior change feels like. You know. what it's like to try to get a little. bit better each day because two things. are true. These are the two things that. stand out. First, any compounding curve, the hallmark of any compounding process. is all the greatest returns are delayed. Right? you are 80% of the way through. this curve before it really starts to. take off. So all the greatest returns. are delayed. The early stuff doesn't. feel that impressive. The second is the. on day one the separation between 0.99.

and 1.01 is very small, right? 1% better. or 1% worse is very minor. >> So on any given day, it's very easy to. dismiss, you know, what is the. difference between eating something. healthy for lunch or eating something. unhealthy. Today, basically nothing. Your body looks the same in the mirror. at the end of the night. The scale. hasn't changed. You know, there's no. evidence. What is the difference between. the person who reads for 10 minutes. today and the person who doesn't. basically nothing to reading for 10. minutes does not make you a genius. But.

the person who always goes to bed a. little bit smarter than they were when. they woke up. The person who always. takes a little bit of time each day to. learn something new. Yeah. Two or five. or 10 years later, like that's a. meaningful difference in wisdom and. insight. And so you see this same. pattern again and again throughout life, which is what starts out small and it's. pretty insignificant, easy to dismiss on. a daily basis, it compounds, it. multiplies, it improves over time. And. so the effects of your habits are. delayed. Time will magnify whatever you.

feed it. So if you have good habits, time becomes your ally. And every day. that goes by, you put yourself in a. stronger position. If you have bad. habits, time becomes your enemy. And. every day that goes by, you dig the hole. a little bit deeper. And so the real. lesson of a chart like this, the real. lesson of getting 1% better every day is. not to get wrapped up in the number. It's not like, oh, is it a 1%. improvement or 1.6% or whatever. It's. not about that. It's an attitude. It's. an approach. It's a focus, an emphasis. on trajectory rather than position.

>> You know, there's a lot of discussion. about position in life. How much money's. in my bank account? What's the number on. the scale? What's the stock price? What. are the quarterly earnings? We have all. these measurements and metrics for. assessing our current position. And then. if the position isn't what we want it to. be, we get frustrated or we feel guilty. or we judge ourselves or we get annoyed. or whatever. And what I'm encouraging is. to say, listen, just for a minute, let's. stop worrying so much about our current. position and instead focus a little bit.

more on our current trajectory. Am I. getting 1% better or 1% worse? Is the. arrow pointed up and to the right or. have we flatlined? So if you're on a. good trajectory, all you need is time. [clears throat]. >> This is this has almost become a. religious belief. I because I think for. everything you've said, it has to become. a religious belief because the results. are hard to see in the near term. But um. it is most certainly a religious belief. in our team. >> I have multiple readers who got tattoos. of it, which I was not expecting. I drew. this on an index card and now it's on. somebody's body. [laughter].

>> Yeah, that was that was definitely. surprising. And it needs that religion. because that first part where you you're. doing something and there's no progress, there's no evidence of progress. >> There is something tricky about this. that I think is important. So we all we. all have made this mistake before which. is you can make 1% improvements that. accumulate and you can make 1%. improvements that evaporate. Right? You. can spend your time time on trivial. stuff meaningful. You know see it can be. meaningful small changes or it can be. meaningless small changes. And so how do.

you decide the difference between the. two? That's kind of tricky and I I don't. know that you can always get it. perfectly right, but to me the dividing. line is does this action accumulate into. something larger or not? You know, you. can you can spend your time doing all. small stuff, whatever day in and day. out, but are you building towards. something bigger? >> And so, in a lot of ways, I think the. two time frames that matter most in life. are 10 years and one hour. >> You know, 10 years is just shorthand for. like what's the big meaningful stuff. you're working toward. You think about.

most of the stuff that people really. care, the meaningful movements in life, most of them are multi-year things, you. know, build a business that you're proud. of, raising a successful family, you. know, having a a happy marriage, getting. in the best shape of your life, what. whatever it is, contributing to some. cause that you care about, like they're. usually big multi-year, sometimes. multi-deade things. So 10 years is. shorthand for that. But if you can do. one thing each day that's going to serve. you well in 10 years, if you can find. one hour sometime today to do something.

that's going to pay off in a decade, you. usually don't even need to wait 10 years. for it to really start to show up. You. know, usually you get two or three or. four years into that and you're like, "Wow, I can't believe how this stuff's. accumulating already." And it makes me. think again about your idea of systems. versus goals because the most. exceptional founders I know they'll. think about what can I do in the next. hour so that in 10 years time we're in a. different place which again it sounds. I've said this a few times but one of. the most important things in business I. mean the definition of the word company. is hiring. So most I think all nearly. all problems I face in business are a.

people problem. >> It's like a people mistake that I have. or haven't you know made yet. So the. further I've got in my career, I've. started to think that actually most of. my the next hour of my life should be. working on people because that corrects. what happens in 10 years time. Like if. we want to go want my company to go. public in 10 years time, in the next. hour I should really be thinking about a. hiring process which will find the CFO. which will build the business. >> And here you are talking to me, >> right? No, but I'm learning. But and I'm. going to go take it out and I'm going to. go. No, but it's really it's really.

useful speaking to you about this. because it's given me the wording to. which will create memorability which. will create the repetitions and the. habits if you know what I'm saying. Is. it on straight? And I I wasn't thinking. in terms of systems and goals. I was I I. always refer to it with people. I say. what's furthest upstream. >> Yeah. >> And this can also be what we're saying. about sleep. And I I see hiring for. example in business or actually. generally in your personal life. selecting people as the single most. important factor to everything that. happens downstream. >> Relationships in general are probably.

there it's obvious to everybody that. they matter and yet they still are. probably perpetually undervalued. Yeah. >> So uh it's true in a business sense. which is what you're talking about here. Like almost every business problem at. some level could be a people problem or. there's a person who could unlock it and. solve that problem. It's true in a. personal sense. the most important. decision you probably will make is like. whether or who you get married to. Uh. that you know that will dramatically. shape your life. >> It's also true in like a just a luck. business life sense which is that.

there is no such thing as an opportunity. that is not tied to a person, right? Like opportunities come through people. And so when you say, "Oh, I wish I could. just like have some good luck or I wish. I could like catch my lucky break." what. you're probably talking about is there's. a person who carries that opportunity. with them that you need to interface. with or get to know and so in all of. these ways relationships dramatically. shape our lives and uh yeah people. people are probably the most important. thing in that sense. >> I think with with with age that becomes. more apparent for most people it becomes.

more most apparent that the best. decisions I've made in my life were. people and the worst decisions I made in. my life were also [laughter] people. >> but we don't think about that we think. I'll work Saturday and Sunday in the I. I'll have some great idea. If I read a. book, I'll have some great idea which. will make me lucky and successful. Whereas um with time, I realize that the. smart work versus the hard work is. focusing much more on on people. How how. do you how does your work dovetail into. things like um self-esteem and. confidence and because everybody wants. to build confidence and for some people.

they're in a bit of a downward. reinforcing confidence spiral which I. guess would look something like this. you know, something happened in their. life, so they're less likely to raise. their hand or to step outside of their. zone zone of comfort. And even when and. if they do, they interpret it. negatively, and that knocks their. confidence. They see it, they're wearing. sunglasses that interpret the things. that are happening as negative, and. they're in this sort of downward. compounding spiral. >> Mhm. >> And there's other people that seem to be. going the other way. First is um I had a.

high school basketball coach that told. me, "Confidence is just displayed. ability." And what he meant was if you. want to feel more confident about like. your ability to make a free throw, go. out there and shoot for an hour and once. you knock down 10 in a row, you're going. to feel a lot better about it. And so. what you realize, this is true for. everything, which is once you have. started to display your ability in any. given area, you know, give a successful. speech or, you know, make a nice. presentation for work or whatever it is, you feel better about it. And so what. you realize is you need reps. You know,

you need practice. Whatever the thing. is, you need you need enough repetition. to start to learn how to do the thing. And so this is why sometimes I'll say. like motivation comes after starting, not before. We think we need motivation. to get started, but in fact, you should. try to scale it down and make it so easy. that you'll do it even if you don't feel. that motivated about it and start get. some reps in and then once you've get. got and then once you have performed the. repetitions, you start to build up some. confidence because you know that you. have some evidence that you can do it. So confidence is displayed ability.

Let's try to scale it down, make it. easy, start to display our ability, and. then the confidence comes as a side. effect. The second thing though, and. this this might even be the more. important piece. You mentioned this idea. of someone who interprets things in a. negative frame. You know, they they get. in the caught in this like downward. spiral. They see like evidence of things. working against them or the world is. tilted against them or like they're. emphasizing the pieces of the story that. aren't serving them that well. I had so. I played baseball for a long time. I. played through college. Um, and when I. was younger, uh, I was 10, 12, 14, after.

each season, we would do this thing. My. dad and I would go out and sit on the. back deck and we would talk about like. the wins, the good parts of the of the, you know, the biggest games that our. team won or like my best plays from the. year or just like things that I got. better at from the season before. And I. was never the best player on any team. that I was on. But you finish each. season with a sense of positivity, a. sense of confidence, this feeling of. like momentum going into the next year. And I think I played for a long time. partially because of that, you know,

like we were it was a practice of. emphasizing your wins. And so I think. that's an interesting thing that like. more people should try is when you look. back on your last year, what are some of. the wins that you've had? And try to use. that, you know, tell yourself that. story, emphasize that story and use that. to move into the next moment. I was. talking recently. So, I have this I have. this publishing company that I. co-founded, Author's Equity, and we're. publishing this book from this guy named. Brandon Webb, who is a former Navy Seal. He uh trained the Navy Seal sniper unit.

in mental performance. And so, he he. would teach them all kinds of things. I. was talking to him about the book and. some of the strategies and I was trying. to learn like what they would do. And. two things stood out to me. The first. thing he said is a positive outlook no. matter the scenario. So the first thing. we train them on is positive outlook no. matter what situation or scenario. they're in. The second thing is. visualizing things going well. Okay. So. so one time a sniper came up to him and. said what's a good score on this uh. course like they would give them these. little courses to test like you know.

they have to make eight or 10 or 12. different shots or whatever. And he said. a good score is 100%. [laughter] And he. was like now in reality almost nobody. gets 100%. Um, but I wanted to set that. standard, right? To set that outcome in. their mind as the thing that they were. shooting for. And he had two guys he was. training. One of them got a 96, one of. them got 100. Um, anyway, the point is. that. in life, there are always things that go. well and things that go poorly. There. will always be days that things are. stacked against you and days when things. seem to go your way. And the question.

is, which story are you telling. yourself? You know, which version of the. events are you emphasizing? Now, I'm not. suggesting that you should like ignore. reality. You know, if there's a problem. that needs to be addressed, then you. still need to address it. But as long as. you're not re ignoring reality, I feel. like the only thing that makes sense is. to emphasize the empowering version. You. know, to emphasize the wins, to sit down. and reflect on what you've done and. think about what the wins were and how. that feeds into your momentum going. forward and to visualize the next step. and how it's going to go well. It.

reminds me of um something Sir David. Brford said to me who I know is the. prominent in the first chapter of your. book. >> Um he was talking a lot about 1% gains. etc. And he says the thing that he. doesn't get to talk about enough is the. psychological momentum that's created. from. accomplishing these 1% gains and. celebrating them amongst the team. He. said to me that when he was in the. British cycling team and he went into. there and they were down and out and. depressed and kind of being ridiculed. for being this terrible team. He goes, "We started, you know, stacking up the. 1%s, etc." And the crazy thing that.

happened is we started to quote feel. like we were going somewhere and people. stopped leaving the bike shop at 5:00. p.m. and started staying till 2:00 a.m. because they felt like they were going. somewhere. It dovetails into your point. about progress, but also just the power. of being intentional about um. celebrating those wins and the. psychological momentum it creates in a. group of people and yourself. >> That's great. I think you do need to be. a little bit more intentional about it. in the real world. So if you look if you. look at some of the most habit forming. technologies or some of the most habit.

forming things like let's take video. games for example in a video game there. are continual constant forms of. progress. So your score is increasing in. like the top corner of the screen. whenever you pick up a weapon or a ruby. or a gem or whatever it's like a little. jingle or chime or some musical note. Even the pitterpatter of footsteps as. you like run through the level is a. signal that you're making progress that. you're moving forward that you're going. somewhere. And so if you compare all of. that immediate feedback that you're. getting like all in the same moment when. you're playing this level.

>> and then you walk outside and you think. about most of the things you're working. on in real life, you're like this. committee's been meeting every Friday. for six months. We still haven't shipped. this feature, you know, like I've been. running every day for the last month and. I still don't see a change in my body. And so it's very hard to compare the. digital world and all the progress that. we get there through our screens to the. physical world and the habits that we're. trying to build and foster in our lives. and businesses. >> And I think that's one reason why it is. nice to be more intentional about it to. try to think about what are the 1%.

improvements or the small gains that we. can make today and then celebrating. those wins so that you have some feeling. of progress there because in the real. world progress is often delayed. You. know, my parents like to swim. Well, if. they were swimming for the change that. they're going to see in their body, it. takes two years, you know, like they the. problem is they jump into the water and. their body looks exactly the same when. they get out, right? And so, you need. something in the moment that gives you. some signal of progress. They use a. habit tracker. So, they have like a. little template where they just put a. little X on that day. But, you need.

something that visualizes your progress, that gives you some signal that you're. moving forward. I was reminded then of. the Harvard Business Review did the. study where they asked people what their. best day in work was and they asked them. to keep work diaries. I think it was. about a thousand people and the majority. of people pointed at a day in their work. diary in that week where they had a. feeling of progress even if it was tiny. >> as and this goes to your point about. making it fun as well. So highlighting. one's progress and celebrating it makes. it fun but also that psychological. momentum. And then also you can do this. stuff you can do the 1% better every. day. you put yourself in a position to.

experience the feeling of progress if. you scale your habits down. So let's say. sometimes there in chemistry there's. this com um there's this concept of. activation energy how much energy it. takes to activate a reaction. >> So you know if the activation energy is. high you have to put a lot of heat or a. lot of energy into the reaction to make. it occur. >> I think habits kind of have an. activation energy too. So like let's say. that your habit is to do a 100 push-ups. a day. the activation energy for that's. kind of high on the first day when.

you're really pumped about it. Maybe. you're doing sets of 10 all throughout. the day and you get to 100 and you feel. really good. Maybe you can do that for a. couple days or a week or whatever, you. know. Um but at some point you get to a. day where you're tired or you had a lot. to do at work or whatever and then you. turn around it's 9:30 and you're like, I. need to go to bed soon. Do I feel like. doing 100 push-ups? Um and then you skip. it. But if you're something much. smaller, like your goal is to do one. push-up or 10 push-ups, well, that is a. lot easier and the activation energy is. much lower. And so then you get to that. day eight or nine or 10 days in when.

it's 9:30, you can still do 10 push-ups. before you go to bed, right? And so you. still get the feeling of progress. You. still get the feeling that you're moving. forward simply because you set the bar. lower to start. You know, if the bar is. perfect at the beginning, it's really. hard to maintain that for very long. But. if the bar is getting you in now, you. build momentum and you get the feeling. of progress and you get a month or two. months or three months in and you still. have a streak going and you feel pretty. good about yourself. And at some point. you start doing it enough that you.

realize, okay, there will probably be a. day in here where I miss, but I still. feel good about who I am and how much. I've shown up here and like you've. proven a lot to yourself. And so I I. think sometimes scaling it down and. making it easy gives yourself a better. opportunity to feel progress. two words. you said in in the last couple of. minutes. One of them was your parents. use a habit tracker and the other one. was use the word streak. >> Yeah. >> Do you understand the context of this. jar that was in front of me with with. paper clips? Could you explain to me. habit tracking and streaks and why why. they matter? >> So when I was working on atomic habits,

I came across this guy named Trent. Durstman and he was uh he had an. interesting story. He's an entrepreneur. now, but early in his career um he had. this job where he was a stock broker in. Abbottzford, Canada. and Abbottzford, this is like in the '90s time was like. pretty small town, like it it wasn't, you know, some big uh city. And he was. supposed to just drive more business, but like, you know, they didn't have a. lot of advantages. It wasn't like he was. in New York or whatever. He had this one. simple habit that he used to end up.

becoming the top performer in the firm. and building the biggest book of. business there over like the next couple. years. And it was this simple strategy. of paper clips. So all he did, a lot of. his stockbroker friends who were like. also working in this job, they would. read analyst reports, they would look at. the news, they would try to analyze. company's financial statements. They. were doing all this other stuff. And he. said, "I'm not going to do that. All I'm. going to do. >> is I'm going to make a sales call and. whenever I make a call, see how tight. anybody put these on. Um, whenever. whenever I make a call, I'm going to.

make a sales call and then I'm going to. take one paperclip and I'm going to move. it over. And then I'm going to make. another sales call. I'm going to take. another paper clip and move it over. And. he had a hundred paper clips in the jar. And his goal every day was to move a. hundred from one jar to the next. And. that was all he did. And with that one. simple habit, he ended up building this. huge book of business. Two things about. this. One, obviously, he has a visual. marker of the progress that he's making, right? So moving paper clips to the. other jar is a way to see that he's.

progressing throughout the day. It also. makes it a little bit into like a little. game, you know? It's like, okay, how how. quickly can I move the paper clips over? How much, you know, progress am I. making? Do I have 50 over by the time. lunch rolls around? You know, you can. start to see how you you have a little. bit of a uh this these progressive. markers throughout the day. >> But the other thing that I think is. interesting about it is he boiled it. down to just what was the one thing that. really moved the needle, you know, and. he just focused on that. And there are. so many things in life that it's really. easy to get focused on the optimization.

It's so if you are so focused on finding. the perfect sales strategy, the best. business plan, the ideal diet to follow, you're so focused on optimizing, you're. like, "Okay, how about sometimes people. will come to me and they'll say they. want to build an audience and they like. ask about all the tactics and the. strategies and I say just write an. article every week for the next two. years and then get back to me like that. Let's not skip that part. Can we start. let's start there or like let's not miss. a workout for two years and then like we. can talk about whether the program is. working or not, you know?" And it's like. that. So I think this helps you focus on.

what is the big thing that's really. moving the the needle. >> I was thinking it about it through the. frame of the habit cycle as well because. as I look at this habit cycle I'm seeing. reward being hit. I'm seeing uh a desire. for an outcome as well. >> Yeah. Yeah. This is interesting. So. there um we haven't talked about this. yet so let me just break it down real. quick. So if you're building a habit. there are roughly four different stages. that every habit goes through. So I call. them in the book in atomic habits I call. them Q, craving, response and reward. Right? So the Q is just something that.

you notice. So let's say for example you. see a plate of cookies on the counter in. the kitchen. That's a visual cue. The. craving is the prediction that your. brain makes about what that Q means. So. you see the plate of cookies, your brain. predicts, oh that'll be sweet, sugary, tasty, enjoyable. So that favorable. prediction motivates you to take the. response. That's the third step. You. walk over, pick it up, and take a bite. And then finally, the fourth step is the. reward. Oh, it is in fact sweet, sugary, tasty, enjoyable. So, Q, craving, response, reward.

These steps are basically what every. habitual behavior is going through. Even. even really automatic stuff like let's. say you walk into a room and the lights. are off. So, Q, it's dark. Craving, I. want to be able to see. Response, I flip. on the light switch. Reward, the lights. come on. Now, it's it's visible out. there. So even really fast stuff like. turning on a light switch is going. through those four steps. So pretty much. every habit follows that cycle. And you. can see that you know this uh paperclip. strategy does kind of play into this a.

little bit. Q you have the paper clips. on the desk, right? So like not only do. you want to make the sales calls for a. business standpoint, but you also have. these staring at you every morning when. you come into your desk. And so it's a. little bit of a visual reminder, reminds. you, prompts you to think, okay, all. right, I do want to make these calls and. try to drive more business or, you know, build build up the um make another. successful sales call. That craving gets. you to pick up the phone, the actual. response. And then the reward is I get. to move the paperclip over and now I. feel like yeah, you get the little. >> ting jingle in your ear of the paperclip. hitting and you know, it just get it.

adds to the reward effect. What I think. is most interesting is how do we take. this how do we take these four steps. that basically all behaviors go through. and then translate it into something. that we can use and apply in daily life. and work. So I call this the four laws. of behavior change. So there's one for. there's one for each step. Yeah, you got. them right here. >> I'll give them to you. >> So I call these the four laws of. behavior change, right? So for the Q, the first law is you want to make it. obvious. All right? You want the cues.

You want the cues of your good habits to. be obvious, available, visible, easy to. see. Easier it is to see or get your. attention, the more likely you are to. act on it. So, a lot of that's about. environment. It's about making things. obvious, but it's the Q gets your. attention, something you notice. >> So, let's put this in the context of me. wanting to make sure I have my. supplement routine every day. >> Sure. >> Because that's something I think about. Yeah. >> I want to have my creatine every day. >> So, it's like, where's the creatine in. the kitchen? you know, is it is it. tucked up in a high shelf and it's. behind like a cabinet door and you don't. really see it or is it like out on the.

counter? It's one of the first things. that you see. So there, you know, there. are varying degrees of what you want to. do here and like what you want to place. out, but you're just trying to make the. good habit obvious. You want to make it. easy to notice. Reminds me of when I. started DJing and the DJing equipment. was upstairs in the spare room out the. way and I had a conversation with my. girlfriend who's through there and I was. like, I really want to learn DJing. So, can I put it on the kitchen counter for. the next year? >> Because then I'll be walking past one. day and go, "Oh, DJ." you know, and then. I put it on the kitchen counter and I. started DJing. >> I have a a reader who he would go to his. guitar lessons and he would practice.

with his teacher and then he'd give him. some homework to practice certain scales. or whatever and then he would come back. and he would take his guitar, put it in. the case at the end of each um at the. end of each session and put it in the. closet. Well, he'd forget it was there. for a week and then, you know, the next. week would roll around. He'd pick it out. and go to practice and he'd be like, "You weren't, you know, you didn't do. this throughout the week." So, he bought. a guitar stand and put it in the center. of the living room. Now he passes it 30. times a day. Much more likely to pick it. up and play for 5 minutes. So it's just. making making your habits obvious. The. second law is about the craving and it's.

all about making it attractive. And this. is where um I mentioned earlier like. that question of what would this look. like if it was fun. You want your habits. to be fun, compelling, attractive, interesting to you. And the more. engaging or exciting it is, the more. likely you are to stick with it. So, like I had one woman who she wanted to. stop going out to eat for lunch at work. every day and start bringing her lunch. in because she felt like it would be. healthier, but the idea of making like a. salad for lunch wasn't that exciting to. her. So, she came up with this phrase of. a party in a bowl. And so, she in the.

beginning she would do all kinds of. stuff. She would like take potato chips. and crumble them up and put them in. there or she would like chop up Snickers. bars and put them in with the salad or. whatever. She was just trying to find a. way to make it fun. And then once she. was already bringing lunch in every day, you know, after she did this for a month. or so, then she was like, "All right, I'm in the habit of bringing lunch in. How can I start to make lunch. healthier?" So, find a way to make your. habit attractive. >> The third law is to make it easy. This. is all about making it simple, frictionless, easy to do. The more.

convenient or frictionless your habits. are, the more likely they are to occur. We've talked about this a lot already, but it's, you know, scaling your habits. down. It's using the two-minute rule to. make it, you know, as easy as you can. But the easier a habit is to perform, the more likely it is to happen. Daniel. Conorman, the famous psychologist, I. think he once said that if you were to. boil behavior down to like a single. principle, a single thing that drives. human behavior, it's convenience. It's. ease. You know, what is the what is the. easy thing to do? We are biological. organisms and we expend energy to live.

And it is in your best interest to try. to conserve energy whenever you can. And. so the more your brain is wired for it, you're always looking for it. In fact, many of the largest businesses in the. world basically just take a human desire. that we already want to do and try to. make it even more convenient. Like Door. Dash is just like, you need food, just. tap a couple times with your thumb and. we'll give it to you. I mean, in fact, the whole arc of human history and how. we get food is just been one long path. of making it more and more convenient.

It used to be that we were hunter. gathers and had to kill our food or. forage for berries in the bush. And then. we started growing it so it was right. next to our house and we didn't have to. move. We could just harvest the corn or. the beans or whatever and eat it. And. then we started just shipping it to. grocery stores. Now you don't even have. to grow it yourself. You'll just come. over here and you can buy it and take it. home. And then we said, "Forget it. You. don't even need to drive to the grocery. store anymore. We'll just deliver it. through Instacart or grocery delivery or. whatever." And now we say, "You don't. even have to cook it in your own house. anymore. We'll just you can just order. it on Door Dash. You just tap with your.

thumb and we'll bring it readymade to. you right here and you can just eat it. It's all just one continual long arc of. making it easier and easier. And the. more that you can make your habits more. convenient, the more likely it is that. you're going to stick to it and and. follow through. >> And then the fourth and final law is to. make it satisfying. The more satisfying. your habits are, the more likely you are. to stick to them in the future and. return to them again. The first three. laws, make it obvious, make it. attractive, and make it easy, are all.

about making your habit more likely to. occur this time. >> Mhm. >> Make it satisfying is about increasing. the odds that you do it next time. Because by the time you get to this. step, the habit's already occurred, right? It's already over now. But was it. rewarding or not? Was it beneficial or. not? Did it serve you in some way? If it. serves you, if you feel like it benefits. you somehow, that marks the experience. in your brain and says, "Hey, this was. useful. Let's come back to this next. time." Next time you're in a similar.

situation, let's repeat this again. And. so, make it satisfying. The reward is. kind of it closes the feedback loop of. learning. You know, it increases the. odds that you're going to follow through. on it. And I use that word learning. intentionally. We're talking about. building habits, but in a way, what. we're really talking about is the. process of learning. It's the process of. how your brain and body learn what to do. as you go through life. You know, you go. throughout life and you experience. different things and you come across. different strategies and you try them.

out. You know that at some point there's. the first time that you take a bite of a. pancake and then you're like, "Oh, that's kind of tasty. Maybe I should. take another bite." And other times you. try things and you're like, "I don't. really like that that much." Or it. didn't really do anything. It was kind. of neutral. and your brain's like, "Well, maybe try something different. next time." So, the behaviors that are. rewarded, the behaviors that are. satisfying, the behaviors that are enjoy. enjoyable are likely to stick. And I. guess there's lots of different ways one. can make it rewarding. I was thinking. about our fitness group, which we have. on WhatsApp, where it's called Fitness. Blockchain, and every month, one person. is evicted. Every day that you go to the.

gym, you take a screenshot of your. workout and drop it in there. And then. someone who's like a a freelance data. science person just kind of compiles it. all into a document and send screenshots. every day with our combined workouts. The whole game is consistency. So it. doesn't matter how hard you worked. It's. just like did you go and that has kind. of made I don't know where that appears. on this cycle, but I think of it as like. accountability. It also makes it fun. Um. but where is that sort of social pact. element on this cycle? Is that the part. of the reward of it? >> I think it influences all of the. behaviors, you know. So the fact that.

you see other people working out is a. cue, right? So like you might get a text. of somebody else's screenshot phone. You're like, "Oh, >> yeah, >> I need to get my workout in today. I. don't want to forget." So that's a cue. that triggers the behavior. >> There's something attractive about being. part of it as a group. You know that. once you post your screenshot that other. people are going to see it and like you. might get kind of rewarded for it or. like you did your thing. So that's kind. of exciting and feels motivating that. like motivates you to show up and do it. Um sometimes you may work out with. somebody, >> right? And so that like that there's.

something there that's improving the. response. It's more it's more fun to do. it together, but it also gets you. moving. And then finally, there's the. reward of, you know, sticking to the. streak or being part of it or not. getting. >> we get the rewards. We actually there's. actually a big metal belt, a physical. belt every that's handed out every year, but every week there's, you know, every. month there's a winner that get gets the. display picture as their face. And. >> I want the belt. That sounds cool. >> It's got my name engraved in it. It's. like a wrestling belt. >> That's awesome. >> How does this work if you're trying to. break a habit? So for each of these. there are there are many ways to do each.

of these things. You know there's many. ways to make habits obvious. There are. many ways to make them attractive and so. on. And what I'm giving you is just kind. of the overview of how to build a good. habit or how to install a new behavior. If you want to break a bad habit then. you just invert these four. So rather. than making it obvious make it. invisible. >> Okay? >> Unsubscribe from emails. Don't keep junk. food in the house. Reduce exposure to. the queue. Rather than making it. attractive, make it unattractive. That's. the hardest one. We can talk about that. in a second. Rather than making it easy,

make it difficult. So, increase. friction, add steps between you and the. behavior. I find like here's two. examples for me. I've tried this new. thing where I keep my phone in another. room until lunch each day. So, usually. it's like 9 to 11 or so in the morning. My phone is down the hall. It's in a. different room and I'm in my office. And. it's just a chance for me to work on my. own priorities rather than whatever's, you know, coming in through the phone. I'm like everybody else. If my phone is. right next to me, I will check it every. 3 minutes just because it's there. But.

if it's down the hall, it's only 30. seconds away, but I never go get it. And. I always think that's interesting. You. know, it's like, did I want it or not? In the one sense, I wanted it badly. enough that I would check it every 3. minutes when it was right by me, but I. never wanted it so bad that I'd go work. 30 seconds to go get it. >> And I found that a lot of habits are. like that. if you just introduce a. little bit of friction, they kind of. curtail themselves to the desired. degree. So, beer is another one. I I. don't think this would work if you like, you know, actually have an addiction or. something. But, I've noticed that if I.

get like a six-ack of beer and I put it. in the front of the fridge and I open it. up and it's like right there and I can. see it. I'll have one at dinner just cuz. it's there. But, if I put it like on the. lowest shelf in the fridge, like all the. way in the back, I kind of got to bend. down to even see it. Sometimes I'll. forget. I'll have it. It'll be there for. two weeks. I won't even remember that. it's in there. Um, and so I think that's. all about like, you know, inversion of. the first law, make it invisible, and. inversion of the third law, make it. difficult. The the less likely you are. to see it, the harder it is to do, the. more steps that are involved, the less. likely it is to occur. And then the.

final piece is the inversion of the last. law, which is rather than making it. satisfying, make it unsatisfying. So. layer on some kind of cost or a. consequence. And I in atomic habits, I. call this the cardinal rule of behavior. change. It's like so pervasive of a. teacher, which is behaviors that get. immediately rewarded get repeated. And. behaviors that get immediately punished. get avoided. And so obvious, but you. have to ask yourself, do you have a good. feeling when you do the thing that. you're you want to do, the habit that. you want to build? Are you getting.

immediately rewarded for that? And if. you have a habit you're trying to avoid, what is the cost? What is the. consequence? Is there something that you. know feels like a punishment there? If. so, then you're more likely to avoid it. If not, it gets tricky. >> It's hard, isn't it, with like there's. cookies on the counter out there. You. might have noticed them as you walked in. that you've got them on a little plate. Loads of. >> No, but I'm going to grab one on the way. out. [laughter]. >> But but I was just thinking about that. like if I have the cookie now, I'm not. going to get an immediate punishment. The only sort of immediate punishment is. a bit of guilt that I might start to. feel that I'm now one step further away.

from the goals that I've set myself in. terms of fitness. Is there any way to. bring forward the the punishment in. areas not the punishment but the the. lack the downside. >> yeah the cost of your good habits is in. the present the cost of your bad habits. is in the future and so for a lot of. your quote unquote bad habits it feels. good in the moment you know like eating. a donut feels great now playing the. video game feels great now doing you. know whatever like it's only later that. you realize oh there was a cost. associated with this even something like.

the classic bad habit of smoking Maybe. you get to stand with friends outside. and socialize or maybe you reduce stress. in the moment after a long day of work. It's only, you know, five or 10 or 20. years later that you have this. consequence. So, um, a lot of the game. of building better habits is finding. ways to pull the rewards of your good. habits into the present moment so you. feel good now. You don't have to wait. three years for it to happen. M. >> and pulling the consequences of your bad. habits into the present moment so that. you feel a little bit of the pain right.

now and you realize this isn't actually. serving me. >> Which I guess is why they put the uh the. photos of people's lungs on the. cigarette packets. >> That's yeah like one of the things it's. trying to do right. >> What about this um habit scorecard over. there? Is that what your parents use. with for swimming? >> So the habit scorecard just a this is. just a simple like assessment. The. insight behind this practice is that. intentional behavior change starts with. self-awareness, right? So you will you. will change your habits all the time. whether you think about them or not. You're you're building habits whether.

you focus on it or whatever. Like your. your brain and body is built for it. Now. the more interesting question is can you. design your behavior? Can you shape your. habits in the way that you want? And. that's where self-awareness comes in. It's very hard to shape your habits. without being aware of them. And so. there have actually been some studies. that have found that just the act of. becoming more aware of a behavior will. change it on its own. For example, there. was one study that looked at people who. journaled about their they created food. journals for what they were eating. No. tracking of anything. There's no they.

were not on a diet. They're not trying. to eat certain way. They don't care. about how many calories you have. There's no tracking or anything. All. they did was simply write down what they. ate each day. And just the act of. journaling about it changed what people. ate and reduced the the number of. calories that they had and so on just. because they were aware of what was. happening. Um and so. this is true for most habits which is. once you start to notice them then you. start to notice ways that you could. improve them or ways that you could. refine them or ways that maybe you want. to do things differently. You're not. operating as on autopilot in quite the.

same way. So the habit scorecard is just. a simple way to do this. It's very it's. very simple. You just write down all the. habits that you're doing each day. So. you can start usually there's like a. package of behaviors in the beginning. and maybe around lunch and then like a. power down routine at the end of the. day. But you know it could be something. like wake up, drink a glass of water, take a shower, you know, check my phone, get dressed, whatever. Like you just, you know, go through the list of what. your normal day looks like. And then. once you have the behaviors written. down, you give them a score. And the. score is just uh if it's a good habit or.

a habit that you like that's. contributing to your life, you put a. plus sign. If you it's a habit that you. feel like you want to get rid of. Um. like maybe say I wake up and then I. scroll on my phone for 10 minutes before. I get out of bed. You're like, well, do. I really want to be doing that? Maybe. not. I'll give a minus sign. And then. some stuff's just neutral, you know, like get dressed, you know, sure, whatever. Just put a put an equal sign. And the idea is not to judge yourself. for it. It's more like sometimes I tell. people it's almost like imagine when you. like go to the zoo and you like, you. know, look at the lions and you're like, "Oh, wow. How interesting that they. would do that." You kind of like do that. with yourself and you're like, "Oh, how.

interesting that I spend my time that. you know, you're not like trying to. judge yourself or analyze it. It's just. let me see what I'm actually spending my. time on. And then once you have that. list, I think the and this is like later. in the book, but there's um it becomes. very useful for building habit stacks. for for layering your new habits on top. of the things that you're already doing. And so some of it self-awareness, some. of it is priming for habit stacking. >> Habit stacking. >> Yeah. >> What is a habit stacking? >> Look at this. I like these props. This.

is great. All right. So, first let me. let me uh just unpack the idea. Habit. stacking is this concept that came from. Stanford professors named BJ Fog. And. his insight, which I think is great, is. that it's easier to build a new habit if. you layer it or stack it on top of an an. old habit, a habit you're already doing. Um he calls it the tiny habits recipe, I. think. But it's the insight is just that. we all have habits that we're performing. each day and those can become anchors. they can become cues that prompt the new.

behaviors that we're going to perform. So let's say that your current habit is. you make a cup of coffee, right? So. you're already doing this. You're going. to start each day. You're going to make. a cup of coffee. And the new habit that. you want to build is you want to start. meditating. So then you could say, "All. right, after I make my morning cup of. coffee, I will meditate for 60 seconds.". So that this is just like a basic habit. stack, right? So you start you start. with coffee and then you meditate after. Now, once you get good at this, you can. start to chain them together. So, for. example, you could say after I make my.

morning cup of coffee, I will write my. to-do uh I will meditate for 60 seconds. and then I will write my to-do list for. the day. After I write my to-do list for. the day, I will prioritize them and. start working on, you know, my first. task or whatever. And now you have this. little stack that you do the same way. each morning each time. And it just is a. way to like build simple momentum and. get you in. I have I've got readers who. have made like all kinds of habit. stacks. The one of the funny ones that I. remember is one guy um he was really. into working out and he was always. drinking protein shakes, but he his.

finances were kind of a mess. And so. anytime that he would make a protein. shake, he would like check his finances. and check his budget for the day. He. would like when I make a protein shake, I fill out my daily budget. That was. like his habit stack. Um but you can do. it for anything, right? And the idea is. that you want to find a good place for. this new habit to live. You know, sometimes like let's say let's take the. meditation example. As a general rule, as a as a very. broadstroke rule, it tends to be better. to do habits earlier in the day rather.

than later because the later it gets in. the day, the the less your day is under. your control, right? Like more things. interrupt. There's just, you know, you. run lower on time, lower on energy, and. so on. >> So I Yeah, I like in general, I like the. idea of maybe doing meditation in the. morning. So you make your cup of coffee. and then you meditate. But if you have. like three little toddlers that you're. chasing around, you're trying to get. pants on your kids, then maybe that's. not a good time to meditate, right? It's. not it's not a good space for that habit. to live. So, I think once you've done. that habit scorecard and you have like.

all of your normal habits laid out. there, you can start to think about the. new habit that you want to build and. look at that list and then say, "Okay, what's the appropriate place to insert. this this new habit? Where should that. new habit stack live? What's a good. trigger for that new behavior to occur?". And so you create these little stacks. and then it just eventually it doesn't. take that long but eventually you get. used to just doing in the same order. each time. You know like I have one. woman who she's like every day I walk. into my office, I hang up my purse, I. hang up my jacket, I go fill up my water. bottle, I sit down the desk and I answer. the first email and that's like she just.

does that sequence every time she comes. in. >> I have one I think that's kind of. related which is um and this sounds very. strange to people think I'm weird but. whatever. um is I wanted to learn how to. meditate, but in my day, the way that my. day was currently constructed, there was. no great opportunity where I'm alone for. like 10 to 20 minutes and I'm. uninterrupted and I'm and I'm in that. position. And so what I started doing is. I started meditating in the shower. >> I'm there anyway getting clean. So it's. great. It's private, [snorts] not long. showers.

>> Yeah, [laughter] long showers. My. girlfriend's like, "What the [ __ ] is. going on in. there sat on the floor?" Um, but no, I. started just meditating in the shower. and it was it was really it was in the. morning alone. I'm going to do it. anyway. >> Mh. >> So, that really helped for me. And then. when that started to stick and I started. to get a bit of progress and see the. benefits, I can move out of the shower, per se. >> That's great. I had uh you're reminding. me I had a woman who came up to me after. a talk one time and told me that uh she. when she brushes she wanted to work on. her balance. She's getting older. is. getting into her 60s and she said um any.

each day when I brush my teeth I brush. on one leg and I do like 10 like little. kind of half squats on that leg and then. I switch to the other leg and I do 10. more on that and she was like I'm my. balance is better my legs are stronger. and my teeth are very clean [laughter]. takes a while but yeah you can pair it. up in all kinds of ways. On that point. of um doing things in the morning and. generally having less energy later in. the day, do you do you think much about. h how to manage your own energy? It's I. spoke to Dr. Lisa Feldman who's a.

neuroscientist who came up with this. concept of like the the body budget that. we have this finite amount of energy. And since then it's really had a big. impact on me because I start in so many. ways that we've talked about. One of. which is I try I try to not try and take. on too much because if in a world where. my energy on a daily basis is finite I. don't want to get to the end of my body. budget but also the order of things like. do I put my most important tasks today. >> at the beginning of the day etc etc. >> I would layer so yes I do think about. this a little bit uh and I've heard this. like you want energy management not time.

management you know construct. >> the other thing that I would add to it. that I don't know that I've ever heard. anybody talk about is control so the Um, the standard thing that everybody says. is, "Oh, we all only have 24 hours in a. day." Which obviously is true, but if. you were to break that into like 24. 1-hour chunks and just look at your day. laid out that way, you have different. levels of control over certain 1 hour. chunks than others. Um, so for example, the, you know, what I said a minute ago, like if you have a bunch of kids and. you're getting them dressed from like.

7:00 to 8 a.m., that hour isn't that. much under your control. It's not a good. time to meditate. It's not a good time. to work out. There's other. responsibilities that tend to happen in. that hour. And so I think that's an. interesting thing too is to map your day. out and look at this and say, "All. right, which hours are is my energy the. best and which hours are most under my. control?" And then you can start to see. like where you're ultimately what I. think you're getting to is what are the. good hours for me? You know, like where. do those live throughout the day? And. then the next step is to ask what is.

getting my best hours and what's getting. my leftovers. And I I have had a couple. different times where I've looked at. things and said, "I say this is. important to me, but really it's only. getting my leftover hours." And so then. you're like, "Okay, something might need. to change." So I I think about all of. that. I think about where's uh how much. time do I have in general? Where are the. pockets where I have the most energy or. the best energy? Um and then also where. are the pockets where I have the most. control? And then you try to figure out. how to slot stuff in. And theoretically, you'd want to put the new hard habits.

you're trying to form in areas where you. have the highest degree of control. versus like 11 p.m. at night. >> Uh, right. I Yeah, I think I think in. general, that's right. It's it's so. tricky when you have multiple things. that really matter to you. You know, it's it's like, all right, you're. choosing between family, you're choosing. between work, you're choosing between. personal pursuits and these new habits. you're trying to build. Like, everything's got to kind of work. together. And so, it's a balance of of. shaping all of that. So many of us are pursuing passive forms. of income and to build side businesses. in order to help us cover our bills. And.

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of our passwords across the team are. compromised or leaked then it notifies. us and obviously if that were to be the. case we're at huge risk across the. entire team. through one password EPM, you can also store all of your sensitive. information and it's helping us to move. closer towards pass keys, which means. eventually everybody will be able to log. in to pretty much everything without. ever having to put a password in. >> Sounds like a good addition. >> Yeah, I think it's like the single most. impactful security addition you can make. to your team, especially if your team. has tons of passwords that are all like. hidden in Excel files and stuff. To my.

listeners, if you want to secure your. business, head to onepass.com/doac. One password is a game changer. It's the. future that I always wished would be the. case as someone that has, you know, 20, 30 different passwords for 20, 30. different applications. The first time we made our little. fitness group on WhatsApp, it was about. how many calories you could burn. >> And that was what awarded you the points. and won the competition. Didn't last. long. >> Didn't last long for a number of. reasons. Kind of toxic, unfair, because. I have I weigh more than anyone in the. group, so I burn more calories just by.

standing up. Um, and then it moved to. this this idea of consistency. How do. you think about what is better? Is it. better to be consistent or is it better. to be something else? >> I feel like there there's this story. that people tell themselves a lot which. is they want to do the big impressive. thing, you know, like you want to do um. you want to run a marathon, you want to. do a week-l long silent meditation. retreat, you want to, you know, write. the bestselling book, whatever. And I I. think about it as this balance between. consistency and intensity. So intensity. is a good story. It's I I ran the.

marathon. I did the silent meditation. retreat. consistency actually makes. progress. You know, it's I meditate for. five minutes each day. I run, you know, three days a week or whatever. And so, people need consistency more than they. need intensity. And in fact, what I. would say is. consistency enlarges ability. Consistency enlarges ability. It's the. act of showing up consistently that. builds your capacity to do something, that fosters the skill development and.

growth that you want. And so showing up, even if it's just in a small way, is the. way that you actually create the. opportunity to do something more intense. or more impressive down the line. I also think that there's this. deep important lesson that comes from. appreciating consistency and what's. required there. Consistency. is often adaptability. It's flexibility. There's this there's this story about. like mental toughness and being discip.

like being a disciplined person that um. that we tell ourselves that's something. like you know I grind to make sure this. happens. I will I will you know make it. happen no matter what the circumstances. like that the mentally tough person. pushes through regardless of what they. face. But I think that in real life a. lot of the time consistency is actually. being flexible. It's being adaptable. You know if you don't have enough energy. you do the easier version. If you don't. have enough time you do the short. version. You find a way to not throw up. a zero that day. you find a way to show. up even if it's not ideal. And that is.

actually being very mentally tough. And. so the the adaptable person is the one. that um what's that line? It's uh when. the storm came, the oak tree fought it. and broke, but the willow bent and. survived. And so it's like you need a. way to manage the storms of life and. bend with them while still showing up. If you purely fight against it, you. think that you'd think that being tough, that being mentally tough is like, I'm. gonna make sure this happens. But it. actually makes you somewhat brittle. You. know, you need it to be a certain way.

And when you need life to be a certain. way to succeed, you become held hostage. by the situation. >> You know, you need it to be just like. that. But if in fact you can be. adaptable and you can be flexible, now. you are actually more resilient. Um, and. so I think there's a a balance to strike. there. and it it feeds into the. consistency that will ultimately uh. enlarge your ability. >> I think this is such an important point. that I don't often hear people talk. about. It reminds me of my friend. My. friend, one of my best friends, he has a. tendency to feel like he's cracked.

fitness. And what tends to happen is. he'll work out and go to the gym for. like 3 months and he'll then announce. that he's finally cracked it like the. consistency, the motivation. And the. minute he does that is like 30 days. before he falls off again because I. think I think he gets complacent. Life. is going to happen. And I remember. saying to him one one year, I mean, I've. known him for 15 years now. I was like, um, the thing I've come to learn about. the gym and fitness is that you never. crack it. And actually, the mindset that. every single day I could fall off and. that life happens has helped me be.

consistent. Whereas a version of me in. 2017 set this ridiculous goal, which was. I was going to go to the gym every. single day without fail. And then five. months in where life happened and I. missed a day, my motivations was gone. and I fell off. You see this a lot with. top performers in in many different. domains, which is it's not that they. don't make mistakes or they don't slip. up. Everybody slips up, but they tend to. get back on track quickly. And so really. what you need is not a perfect plan or. like a system that never fails. What you.

need is a good plan for getting back on. track. You need if the reclaiming of a. habit is fast, the breaking of it. doesn't matter that much. You get to the. end of the year and it's just like a. little blip on the radar, but you need a. good plan for getting back on track. quickly. So, I I think that uh some of. the balance, some of the some of the. strategy is actually knowing what to do. when you fail. >> Yeah. >> Um and if you if you figure that out, then uh you're in a good position to. bounce back quickly. >> Funnily enough, when I fail, when I fall. off my gym workout or whatever, what I. do is I I set the display picture on my.

iPhone to red. And I guess this is a. point of self-awareness. It just reminds. me that we've currently fallen off. That. means every time I look at my phone, it's a reminder that this is code red. >> Wow, that's great. What a strong visual. sign. Yeah. And that I need to start. doing the small steps, doing the [ __ ]. workouts again, >> you know. So, I have this um I have this. little theory that the secret to winning. is actually learning how to lose. It's. that the secret to winning is knowing. how to lose. Um and what I mean is that. it's knowing how to handle a loss. It's. knowing how to rebound and bounce back.

from that. I think that I learned it. through sports. I don't think sports is. the only way you can learn it. I think. probably anything that you do with some. level of public visibility could teach. you. you know, musical performance or. being in a fitness group with your. friends or there's lots of ways you do. it, speaking publicly. >> But one thing about sports is that. you're going to fail in front of the. rest of the team, you know, like the. ball will come to you'll start make the. strikeout to end the game or like you. know, you go uh into the gym and work. out with the team and like you miss a. lift or you're the weak one or whatever. Like that doesn't feel good, but then.

you realize life moves on and you got to. go on to the next set and you have to. show up again the next time. And each. little instance where there's like a. little failure like that is practice for. you to bounce back again. And I think. it's important to have something in life. that's like that that's teaching you how. to respond to failure. That you're. learning how to lose and how to bounce. back from a loss so that you can. ultimately win. I got to the point at. the end of my career um my senior year. where I was basically like listen I. don't want to lose but if we're going to.

lose I'd rather it be me. I'd rather be. out there. Give it put it on my. shoulders. I can take the loss, you. know, I can I can handle it. I I'll give. you everything I have to try to get us. to win, but if we lose, like, I'll be. able to bounce back from it. And I think. that that ended up serving me really. well in my entrepreneurial career. because stuff is never going to go your. way all the time. Um, and you need to be. able to try, be willing to try things. and be willing to sometimes look foolish. because of them and still find a way to. show back up the next time. >> Reminds me of watching Roger Fedra's.

commencement speech. He's arguably the. best tennis player of all time. And. shockingly, in his commencement speech, I don't know if you saw it, he talks. about how in his career he's missed. something like 47% of the points. So, he's the best to ever do it. And he's he. only in his career has won 53% of the. points, which means that half the time. he's taking L's. But the difference is. what he does when he takes the L and not. allowing that L that that missed point. to compound into what his next shot. M. and I was in LA with my friends for my.

birthday. My friend Ash, who's had the. most paddle training. We were playing. paddle. We do, that's what we do. basically all the time when we see each. other, our group of friends. He'd had. the most paddle training. He's been in. Spain with a coach. But when he lost a. point, he would then start losing easy. points. And there's this photo of me. watching him play and I'm like, "What. the hell's going on with him?" Like, he's the best. He's meant to be the best. player. He's got the most practice, most. repetitions. But when he loses a point, this downward spiral takes place where. he just starts missing easy shots. So. when he sat down, I told him about Rod.

Roer Fedra's thing. And I gave him this. little idea in his head to to handle the. loss. And I said to him, when you lose. the point, say in your head, that point. doesn't matter. I'm going to win this. game anyway because I am the better. player. And I still get goosebumps when. I say it because he went from being the. fifth best in our group of five to. beating all of us. >> immediately. >> And there's there's it's so funny cuz my. girlfriend and everyone here knows like. he was like dancing through the house. the same day. He beat all of us. I had. never been beaten by him. I have a pal. in my garden. Like he beat me.

immediately. And all it was was was. making sure that when he took an L, he. didn't spiral into his emot the. emotional center of his brain and start. catastrophizing which he's susceptible. to if you know him. He went straight. back into the prefrontal cortex, the. rational center of his brain. And he and. he said he and you know he's posted. about it online and I actually part of. my Asia tour recently was I showed all. the videos and all the WhatsApp messages. of this whole thing happening. But it. just goes to show that actually it's how. you take the L. >> I love those mindset shifts. It's just a. it's living life with a next play. mentality,

>> you know? It's like you don't let the. last play dictate you or like ruin you. It's we have to move on and make the. next best choice now. We have to we have. to live for the next play. Um. >> and how much emotion just like ruins our. training. >> Sure. >> You know. >> Yeah. I feel like a lot of this is. there's a great book Inner Game of. Tennis um that came out many many years. ago. Might even be 50 at this point. Um. but it's basically all about this. It's. about not getting in your head. And it's. it's specifically for tennis, but it. applies to life, you know. It's it's. just about um yeah, it's moving on and. having this next play mentality.

>> So David Braford said that to me as well. about one of his main objectives when he. had the cycling team was to get them not. to think about the race while they were. on the race. And he said, I think it was. Chris Chris Hoy or someone. He said my. entire training with Chris Hoy was. getting him to stop thinking about the. current race he was in. and that when. Chris was hit his personal bests, he. would get off the the bike and have no. recollection of cycling. >> He goes to the point that it was like he. was asleep on the bike because when the. alternative meant that Chris would start. thinking about his time and then cycling.

too hard and exhausting himself and fall. out of his his training. So, fascinating. fascinating um you talk about daily. mental mindsets as well. Is it important. to adopt a particular daily mental. mindset? Well, I um I had this thought. that uh. one time I had this thought that it. would be cool to be able to hire a. mental performance coach who just did. one thing. So you you hire this coach. and then they call you up each morning. like 8 a.m. or something and they give. you like a five minute pep talk, you. know, or just they give you like a five. minute mindset shift, just something. little kind of like what you said to.

your friend, you know, and just like you. get this little mindset shift to reset. your day and go into it with momentum. and they hang up and you just go do your. thing. Um, and you know, I I couldn't. find anybody who, you know, could do. that, but I've been working on this. little project where I've been trying to. figure out how to do it. And so, I came. up with, it sounds almost kind of silly, but I'm really excited about it. I came. up with this Atomic Habits daily. calendar. And the idea is just, it's. actually like a blend of Atomic Habits, Principles, and 321, which is my weekly. newsletter. And I just have like one. little mindset shift that's on each.

page. And it's just one page for each. day of the year. You just look at it, read that page, boom, go into your day. And like it's just intended to be a. little mindset shift. Anyway, it's a. it's just a small thing, but I like I. like the idea of priming yourself to. start the day in the right way. And um I. don't know. I didn't think that I would. be excited about a calendar, but I'm I'm. kind of excited about it. I kind of feel. like it it could be good. So, >> is it coming out? >> Yes, it'll be out in uh it'll be out. soon. Yeah. >> Okay. And where where would we find. that? Do we sign up to the. >> uh It's on Amazon. You can you can go. there or you know, you can go to. jamesclair.com and you'll you'll find it.

there. But um yeah, >> so this book, the Atomic Habits. Workbook, Simple Exercises for Building. the Life You Want is now out. It came. out this week. What is this the. distinction between these two books? If. I read Atomic Habits already, >> let me have a book. All right. So, um. Atomic Habits is. the culmination of basically 10 years of. work and effort for me. Um, it's like I. my objective was to write the best book.

that's ever been written on habits. Now, I don't know that I achieved that or. not. That's for the readers to decide, but I don't think you're ever going to. just stumble into that result. You know, like you have to at least strive for it. Um, and so that was the hope is that. everything that you would could possibly. need to know about building good habits. and breaking bad ones should be in. Atomic Habits. So then you're like, okay, why would I need a workbook? Um, but uh what I've learned over the last. seven years of this being out and. selling 25 million copies is that people.

always need more tangible practical help. with implementing their habits. So, Atomic Habits is the full guide and the. philosophy and the approach on how to do. it. Then you finish this book and you. sit there and you say, "All right, great. I have some habits I want to. build. How do I do that?" And the. exercises in the workbook are intended. to help you do that. They help you look. at your environment and figure out how. do I optimize it? They help you look at. your goals and how do I translate it. into a system. They help you look at. your desired identity and how are my. habits reinforcing it. So it's just a.

series of exercises that help you apply. and implement the ideas from atomic. habits. >> The great thing about the way that you. write is it's so unbelievably. accessible. So unbelievably accessible. in the context which means that you. don't need to be a scientist or an. expert to understand the concepts. And I. think that's why the book has been. atomic habits has been so unbelievably. successful. This book, the workbook, follows in the same vein. It allows. people at all levels of their knowledge. of habits and intellect to get going and. to start sort of holding themselves. accountable. I'd say accountability is a.

huge part of this. I kind of see. elements of that fitness group I. described, fitness blockchain, just. because you're reflecting and you're. writing down what happened. And um like. you said earlier about how just. journaling increases the likelihood of a. behavior. Um this book will raise your. self-awareness. Yes, that's a good. that's actually a great summary of it. I. think it uh it makes you more aware of. your habits and your environment and. what you're trying to do specifically. rather than just understanding the. concepts. >> James, thank you. Thank you for um. changing so many people's lives. You.

must hear this all the time, but what a. remarkable remarkable um impact you must. have had on so many people you'll never. get to meet. Getting them to quit habits. that would have otherwise been fatal for. them. You know, my dad is a prime. example of someone who was smoking for. 20 odd years of his life. He starts. reading about these habit cycles in your. work, but in other people's work as. well, and he's quit smoking and that's. probably extended his life to some. degree. And that's one such example of. I'd say 25 million because I know the. Atomic Habits has sold 25 million, but.

you've reached many many many millions. of people through your newsletter as. well, 321. um which is the I mean the. newsletter has kind of created a. blueprint for anyone that writes a. newsletter. Frankly, I think everybody. looks up to your work and what you've. built as the the framework for starting. their own newsletters. And you know, you. never get you'll never get to see the. downstream impact of the work you've. done. But on behalf of everybody who's. had their life ch changed because of the. hard work you've put in and your. obsession and your focus and your. passion and these incredible works of.

art that you've written and that you. didn't rush. Um, thank you and thank you. on behalf of myself because your h your. work has been super formative in how I. think about business, how I think about. my team. Um, and many of the phrases. that we use in our office every single. day to build the companies we've built. have come from your work as well. Everybody needs to go out. I mean, if. you don't have Atomic Habits, then I. don't know what you've been doing with. your life. But, um, now that the Atomic. [clears throat] Habits workbook is here, you now have a much more um, self-awareness inducing, practical, hands-on framework for implementing some.

of the stuff you've read in Atomic. Habits. Now, I'm going to link both of. them below so everybody can go grab. them. But also, your James' newsletter. is phenomenal. So, I'll link that below. as well. We do have a closing tradition. on this podcast where the last guest. leaves a question for the next guest not. knowing who they're leaving it for. >> Question that has been left for you. Dear next person in the chat, what do you believe is the best way to. unify people of differing or even. conflicting beliefs? Let me know your thoughts. Best Kamal.

Harris. I think the best way is to scale. it down. You know, if you say, "How can. we have a more unified nation, it's big, it's vague, it's it's almost impossible, it's like an intractable level." But if. you scale it down now, you can come up. with things. You know, how can you have. a more unified neighborhood? You could. start a book club or do a block party or. you can come up with all kinds of things. that you could do. And what you find is. that in many cases in life, problems are. intractable at a certain level, at a. certain scale. And if you shift what. level you're at, suddenly it reveals.

itself and there's a new solution. And. so I think that is obviously true uh. with big picture things like like the. question I was asked but it's also true. for your habits. You know if you think. about your life in general and you say. how can I have a better life or how can. I figure out my purpose? How can I. figure out you know how to have a life. of meaning? These are big hard. questions. They're sometimes they're. almost intractable. They're too vague. They're too broad. But if you can scale. it down and say how can I live a good. day today or how can I have a good week? How can I have um you know a good next.

hour? how can I make this minute as. perfect as possible? Well, those those. levels are much more achievable. And so, I think if you scale your habits down to. a level that's more solvable, you'll. often see that there's a path forward. there. >> What's interesting with your. neighborhood analogy as well is that. neighborhoods are interconnected. >> So, if I if I focus on making my. neighborhood good, then that kind of. just crosses over with the next. neighborhood. Like thinking about my. street where I used to live. >> and so if that neighborhood becomes. good, it's going to then hit the next. domino, which is the neighborhood next. door. and then eventually called.

>> which is also true for your personal. life. You know your each unit of time. each little habit is connected. You know. you put your habits together and you. kind of end up with this system of. behaviors that influence your day and. your week. So mastering this hour makes. the next hour a little bit better as. well. >> There's I ultimately chose the phrase. atomic habits for three reasons. There's. there's three meanings to the word. atomic. The first is tiny or small like. an atom which obviously I think your. habit should be small and easy to do. The second meaning is the one we're. talking about now and the one people. often forget which is an atom is a.

fundamentally unit in a larger system. So atoms build in molecules, molecules. build in compounds and so on. And your. habits are kind of like the little units. of your day. You know, collectively you. put them together and you have your. daily routine. And then the third. meaning is the source of immense energy. or power. And so if you put all three of. these together, you kind of understand. the narrative arc of the book, which is. you make changes that are small and easy. to do. You layer them together like. units in a larger system and. collectively you get this powerful. remarkable result as a process and so or.

as a consequence and that is the idea. behind atomic habits. You make these. small changes and it's not just one it's. like a hundred or a thousand of them and. collectively they come together to. create this powerful impressive life. >> Powerful impressive life. Do you think. that we should all be aiming at this is. a bit of an interesting word but. happiness is that should that is that. the north star that our habits should. ladder up towards or fulfillment or. whatever one might say or meaning. for first of all I think we should.

distinguish between happiness and. meaning you know or happiness and. purpose or something fulfillment I don't. think they're necessarily the same you. know like there are many moments in my. life when I am happy uh and that can be. in the moment and a lot of the most. meaningful things that I worked on you. know atomic habits was one of the most. meaningful projects that I've worked on. It seems to have made a big difference. for a lot of people or helped a lot of. people. I feel great about that. But I. wasn't necessarily happy every minute. that I was working on it. You know, like. it was it was quite difficult in lots of. different times and it took a long time. and it was arduous and so on, but it. provides a lot of meaning. So, I.

definitely think it was worth it even if. I wasn't always happy in the moment. So, I don't know that you should necessarily. optimize for any of that all the time. Um, you know, I don't think your habits. will lead you to some place where you. are just permanently happy. Um, but. they will definitely take you on a. journey where happiness is part of it. and where meaning can be part of it. Um, and there are lots of other things that. are parts of life too. But, uh, yeah, I. I think that you will be well served to. invest in them for sure. >> James, thank you so much. It's been. >> Thank you. And thank you so much for.

saying those kind things. That's uh. that's very nice of you. Um, I have been. incredibly. lucky and blown away by the reception to. the book and um, it just feels it feels. great to know that people are finding it. useful. You know, all I wanted to do was. try to be useful and helpful and um, I. appreciate you saying that and I'm I'm. grateful that many other people have. found it helpful as well. >> Yeah, I don't think you'll ever realize, you know, you see 25 million people have. bought the book, but it's much bigger. than that. It's it's billions of people. have been impacted by that because.

everybody is like a like a pebble thrown. into the ocean, right? There's these. ripple effects that go on and it changes. their professional life, their personal. life, their health, their friendships, relationships. So, it's unbelievable. Thank you, James. Thank you. Thank you. [music]. This is something that I've made for. you. I realize that the Dio audience are. strivals. that we want to accomplish. And one of. the things I've learned is that when you. aim at the big big big goal, it can feel. incredibly psychologically uncomfortable.

because it's kind of like being stood at. the foot of Mount Everest and looking. upwards. The way to accomplish your. goals is by breaking them down into tiny. small steps. And we call this in our. team the 1%. And actually this. philosophy is highly responsible for. much of our success here. So, what we've. done so that you at home can accomplish. any big goal that you have is we've made. these 1% diaries and we released these. last year and they all sold out. So, I. asked my team over and over again to. bring the diaries back, but also to.

introduce some new colors and to make. some minor tweaks to the diary. So, now. we have a better range for you. So, if. you have a big goal in mind and you need. a framework and a process and some. motivation, then I highly recommend you. get one of these diaries before they all. sell out once again. And you can get. yours now at the diary.com where you can. get 20% off our Black Friday bundle. And. if you want the link, the link is in the. description below. [music].

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