Phones 4u Founder: The Pain Of Becoming A Billionaire: John Caudwell | E124

could you do me a quick favor if you're. listening to this please hit the follow. or subscribe button it helps more than. you know and we invite subscribers in. every month to watch the show in person. i grew from nothing to 12 000 employees. 2.4 billion turnover john caldwell the. billionaire founder of phones for you as. it relates to his wealth. he has it all but it's come. at a real cost i was sitting on the edge. of my seat nearly every day for 20 years. facing threat after threat after threat. after threat it did nearly finish me i.

think anybody's would you know because. you can't work 22 hours a day under. immense pressure it's a monster deal the. biggest ever been done in the. marketplace by anybody you know i don't. mind fair competition but it was very. unethical. if i didn't find a solution it was. instantly terminal you know my turnover. was going to drop immediately my stores. were empty. nothing i'd have been bankrupt and i. wouldn't be here talking to you today. without further ado i'm stephen bartlett. and this is the diver ceo i hope. nobody's listening but if you are then.

please keep this to yourself. [Music]. i suppose if i'd had a little bit more. love i would have been happier. do you remember saying that. i don't actually but i can understand. why i might have said it why do you. think you might have said that um. it's yeah it would certainly be to do. with my childhood. um because my.

father was uh. not the kindest to me uh not abusive but. not in a way well in a way maybe he was. abusive but not abusive in the way. normal sense of it he just wasn't very. fair with me and certainly not very. affectionate and i think my mother was. struggling through all those early. childhood years. so i understand completely why i might. say. if i'd had a bit more love i might have. been happier uh so it's quite a true. point. when you say your father wasn't so kind.

to you. was that because he was. he was suffering with something or he. was. did you ever diagnose why he wasn't kind. to you not at the time but in more. recent years probably came to understand. it i think um. i think certainly one of the points was. that i was quite a rebellious child uh. we were brought up. in the back streets of stoke-on-trent in. the terraced houses and uh. you know it was football in the streets. and your mother coming down the road.

shouting for you and i'd go hiding and. all my mates would say when when she. asked where i was oh we don't know we. haven't seen him and i'd behind me. behind somebody's front courtyard wall. so i was a nuisance and uh. you know i was difficult uh as a child. and uh very adventurous wanted. excitement all the time and that for. parents is very very difficult so i. think that was probably one of the. things but i think also he'd been. brought up with. certain. strange values really that didn't really.

work very well he hadn't made a. transition to yet a different generation. so he put me on an old army and navy. shoes. from the army and navy store. uh which crippled me and so i was out in. the streets you know playing football. and so on and expected to keep these. shoes perfectly like you might be in the. army and when i came back with them. scuffed i was in serious trouble and i. couldn't stop them from being scuffed at. the same time my feet were crippled it.

just got some strange values i mean i. suppose in today's age you would say. that was child abuse but um. um. it was just the way he was and and i. think when i've spoken to some of his. friends. um over the last 30 40 years. they think that he came back with ptsd. from the war and of course it was never. diagnosed in those days um. and he he came back and he got a lot of. wonderful qualities he would never see. anybody in trouble he was almost the.

first day without it being paid for. because he was an engineer very capable. very ingenious and any car broken down. on the roadside where people were in. trouble he'd just stop and help them out. i'd be quite grateful for that on one. one count uh. uh i'd have to wait in the car for an. hour while he fixed the car but i knew. a you know a couple of shillings or half. a crown was going to come my way as a. result. so you know it was a sort of this this. childhood of uh where i'd got a lot of.

respect for my father in some ways but. in other ways the way he treated me was. very unfair. and uh and. not in a kind way on many occasions. and um. i realized that you you lost your mother. recently so i wanted to first say i'm. sorry for your loss and i know that um. it can't be easy coming and doing this. so soon after so i also want to thank. you for you know coming and doing this. because i know that. well i can't imagine you know the.

difficulty of all of that um. i when i was doing the research on your. story i was reading about your. relationship with her and your father. um. and and that dynamic and there was a lot. of. things within your relationship that. really resonated with me um so i wanted. to ask about that relationship and those. dynamics because i know that's really. really really formative in your story. as well so what was the relationship. like with your mother and your father. and you as a three. um well in the early days we lived with. my grandmother my grandmother didn't.

like my mother. um i think she was a very jealous person. she adored me so my relationship with my. grandmother was amazing. she you know she would do anything for. me but at the same time she treated my. mother very very badly. um and there was lots of rows in the. household so it was not a happy place to. be really it was. a place full of um for me fears and. almost at time no terrors is too strong. a word but certainly fears. and insecurities because i never really.

knew whether my mother and father were. going to survive the experience. so it was it was very very tough days. and very formative days. um but. you know and you can look back and say i. wish you'd been different. and you and your listeners might expect. that i would say that but i absolutely. don't i would never have changed it. because it taught me a lot. and failure or difficulties teach you a. lot more than success because if you're.

analytical and you look at what went. wrong or what the situation was. you can learn so much from it. and what i learned from my father. was that. i would never ever be unfair. to another human being if i could. possibly avoid it especially to my. children and i also learned to make sure. that all the people in my life that mata. felt extremely loved by me. and i told them that on a daily basis. because they can come a point when it's. too late.

when you come to understand. in hindsight why your father might have. been the way he was. um or when i sit here with their guests. and they kind of they talk about their. parents a lot of the time you see these. kind of generational cycles where their. parents treated them in a certain way so. they kind of inherited those values or. that way of behaving and then they've. kind of they've treated. their children in the same way. i. sometimes worry especially as i've got a. little bit older. i see certain patterns in my behavior.

that i. didn't love from my parents. um. small things it might be my temper. sometimes or it might be you know other. other things do you ever when you've. gone through an experience like that in. a home where there it was a little bit. heated and you as you said your father. had a little bit of a temper do you ever. worry or catch glimpses of um. your childhood reoccurring today and. think i need to not. i need to not pass that on i need to not. repeat that cycle. it's a very good question um.

i'm a long long way off perfect so i do. recognize characteristics of myself very. regularly that i don't admire. but. i've learned a huge amount from my. parents mistakes and. in many respects um. gone to do the opposite. and. by and large i do achieve the opposite. i do have my father's temper. i do have characteristics of my father.

but. by and large i'm very comfortable with. who i am because. i do a huge amount of positive things in. life for everybody in my life and. it's it's actually the biggest sense of. satisfaction to me so yes i make lots of. mistakes. i made one yesterday you know i was. irritated with my partner because she. interrupted a meeting and then got a bit. off with me because i couldn't take the. call. and i got angry with her you know and. then i rang up later and said that you.

were wrong to take that attitude with me. but. uh but uh you know let's just forget it. now. yeah we all we all. make mistakes i think i think if you've. got. spirit and character and drive and. passion you're always going to be uh. full of human failings and the the trick. is to minimize those human failings and. to maximize. what a human being should be. with acts of kindness and. and uh looking after people and and i.

what i taught my children was there was. two things that were very very important. in their lives or important to me for. what they became. and it wasn't success not in the normal. measures of success it was just two. things be happy. and leave the world a better place than. you found it. and if you can do that i as a father i'm. going to be just the happiest man alive. and and your happiness might mean that. you have to be successful it might mean. they have to be a hugely successful. business person or whatever but that.

doesn't matter to me what matters is. that you're happy and leave the world a. better place. as you've gone on that um journey of. like self-awareness and understanding. who you are and striving to be better in. various areas um was there something. that helped your journey to. self-awareness um. more than more than anything else what. was it was it feedback from others is it. journaling what allowed you to kind of. look yourself. in the mirror or from a bird's-eye view. and say. this is not good and i want to improve.

on that thing. do you know i think there's been no. epiphany i think the epiphany was when i. was young learning that lesson about. fairness that fairness is crucial and. and i think it's the number one quality. people need i mean there's lots of other. important ones ones like loyalty and. faithfulness and so on and so forth. and morality there's a huge amount of. important qualities but i think it. starts with fairness. and that that that was. sort of traumatically imposed upon my.

psyche as a youngster after that it was. all developmental recognizing the. mistakes i was making one after another. feedback from and understanding those. mistakes understanding that what i'd. done might have been hurtful or damaging. to another human being realizing that i. didn't want to be that person that. caused difficulty. um. you know and running the business it was. a very very very tough environment i. grew from nothing to. 12 000 employees from zero. to uh 2.4 billion turnover.

and uh. and i was a hard taskmaster and i've. never regretted that but at times. my hardness turned into unfairness and. that i was upset by. and i'd usually recognize it afterwards. maybe not always maybe there's a people. out there that say oh no you were you're. a terrible boss a lot of people say i. was a great boss but i'm sure there's. going to be people out there that were. um. damaged in some way by me being too.

harsh. and possibly unfair at times but it was. always something i was striving to avoid. but i am only human you know. we all as humans make mistakes. especially when you're growing an empire. at the speed that i was growing it in. one of the toughest and most aggressive. environments there's ever been. so do because i can i can relate to that. sometimes i feel like i'm a little bit. hard and it's usually after the fact. when i. leave the situation or spend some time. alone or i go to the gym at night and i. think you know i i think i should handle.

that situation with with maybe a little. bit more empathy. or my reaction probably didn't get the. best out of the people in that situation. was it those reflective moments on your. own where you look back on it or was it. years later. you know i think almost immediately. afterwards really if if i was angry. about something um. i've always been one to level out very. quickly no matter how angry and. frustrated i am. five minutes later i can be calm. and reflective.

and maybe regret my actions. so i'm very very quick to be. self-admonishing. and. and then sometimes i'd say well i think. to myself well. you know i didn't behave correctly there. but the end result's still the right. result so i can't really do anything to. put it right because it just has to be. that way. but i'd still be self-critical i mean. you know i think i think criticism. especially self-criticism is one of the. most powerful things in life you know.

every aspect of my business. i was criticizing all the time. looking for better ways of doing it. looking for how we could be bigger. better higher quality how we could. capture more market share. and for that you've got to be different. you've got to do things differently i. very much believe that don't do anything. the way anybody else does it you know. always. be contentious not necessarily. contentious in the way you. approach people but contentious in the.

way you approach situations. and systems or methodologies. so i i. one of my absolute edicts in life was. try and do something very different to. everybody else now. we've all seen the chief executives. who've come into a business and they. need to do something different than the. predecessor and they make change for. changes sake and that's destructive. so when i say something do something. different it has to be different but so. intelligently different that what you do. is make a quantum leap forward.

so one of my rules for every employee i. used to say. never never change it's the destruction. of business. but i'd immediately follow on by saying. but if you don't change. you will fail. now that's a mixed message i know but. then i would explain it and say look if. the change is going to make a massive. quantum leap forward. make the change if you're uncertain. about it.

it's not worth the risk because the. change will be detrimental because. you've got to retrain all of those. people and what's the point of making. small changes for the sake of them don't. do it because you think you've got to. achieve something do it because it's. going to make a big difference to the. business model. and i could get that message through to. some people but it is a difficult one to. understand and and of course also. judgment comes into it because you've. got a impeccable judgment to try and see. through what the end result might be.

um to. whatever you're trying to change. and that drive that you're talking about. to be bigger and to be better and to. change as you reflect um because in the. moment. i am i'm imagining that especially when. you're younger in business and i mean. you started you know the car dealership. and you were selling toys and books the. drive you had at that moment. i i imagine it's almost a little bit. subconscious you just wake up in the. morning and you just want to change your. life and you just feel driven but as you. reflect on your life and that drive and.

hunger you had. does it feel to you like it was probably. in fact insecurity. life's complicated isn't it when you. analyze yourself it's a complicated mix. of lots of component parts but i think. first of all i was born to be an. entrepreneur. stroke salesman i was born to be that. there is no doubt about that whatsoever. and and these early attributes showed. themselves when i was four or five. but i do think uh to your point of.

insecurity. the. having that insecurity does drive you. on a lot further you know i hate failure. and love success. and do is that born out of insecurity. well i think to a point but it's also. borne out of pride you know it's the. pride of wanting to succeed the pride of. wanting to change things for the better. whether it's my charitable. interests or whether it's business i. feel the same about everything in life. in fact.

people find me very difficult to live. with because my attention to detail is. immense. and i pick up on the tiniest things one. of my one of my directors once said to. me in in frustration i might add it. wasn't complimentary. he uh because i'd picked up on something. he said you know he said i could build. you the best house in the world. and one of the tiles might be missing on. off the roof and that's all you'd focus. on. and we can all focus on our successes. but it's not our successes that make us.

successful it's their failures and what. we get wrong and putting them right but. that's sometimes very difficult for the. recipient to live with it's not. difficult for me to live with for my. failures because i take it on the chin. and i put it right and move on. but for the recipients that might be. being criticized at the time as much as. i might do it try and do it in a. constructive way it's still a criticism. and uh and i think that can be very. difficult for people when i pick up on. every last detail where they've not. actually got it quite right i was just.

saying to my manager yesterday i i was. saying i think. the balance that i need to be better at. striking is i spend too much time. focused on. possible improvements and not at enough. time celebrating. current progress. so i'm always trying to find you know. how we can be better and dwelling on. that as opposed to dwelling on the. progress that's been made and sometimes. i think for some people that can make it. feel like you're not giving them enough. recognition or you're not praising as.

much as you're criticizing right. have you found that there needs to be a. healthy balance between the two or is. that okay i've always been criticized. for not praising people enough right. always being criticized for that. um but. what i know in life. is that if you're in a very very. aggressive competitive environment. where you need every last ounce out of a. person. you do need to give them incentives and. motivation and they do need to feel good. about themselves to an extent.

but if they feel too good about. themselves. then their ego goes up and ego is always. a source of destruction ego is never a. good thing and it's this balance between. making them feel valued. but not letting their ego get out of. check. and this was a huge problem for me in. the mobile phone world because. because we were the leaders in the uk. and i was reputed to be a hard task. master and drive people to achieve the. very best.

all of my people were poached. by the competitors they all wanted them. you know so i had this really difficult. balance to drive between not giving them. too much feeling of self-worth because. that would make them more likely to. accept a job somewhere else i mean this. sounds a bit negative but it was reality. it would give them too much for feeling. self-worth and make them too likely to. jump ship but then the contra to that. was making them feel part of an enormous. winning organization that they could. never get that satisfaction anywhere.

else and putting wealth creation schemes. in that rewarded them for long-term. loyalty and long-term performance. and i did lots and lots of innovative. schemes like that to make people feel. valued i'd run competitions i'd do all. sorts of things but one of the smartest. things i probably did. i've never told anybody this before. really i mean my employees know it so. they come to me like every managing. director does with the budget and this. is the business plan for next year and. what do they always do they always try.

and sell you on the lowest achievement. possible because a that makes them look. a success when they bust when they bust. the. numbers and b they get the full bonus. so. one of my classic styles would be to say. i was not really ambitious enough for me. i said but. if. that's all you think you can achieve. and you're lacking the ambition to do. any better. then fine i'll accept it but you.

certainly won't be getting a pay rise on. your basic. now these guys might be on 250k basic. and 250k bonus say so the bonus was. really important to them but so was the. basic. you know and so i played. basic. versus bonus. and versus ambition. so they knew if they came back came in. and tried to blag me with low numbers so. they got the full bonus they wouldn't. get a basic pay rise so the basic pay. rise was linked to their uh to their.

ambition. but it's a really difficult thing in. a market as volatile as the mobile phone. business was because it was colossally. colossally volatile and it was really. difficult if you if you made five. million pounds this year on one. particular business it was very. difficult to say with that we can. achieve this growth and we can get to. six million next year because there'd be. things coming at you from left base that. could decimate your business. one of my businesses and mobile phone. distribution i had 20 businesses within.

mobile phones. the distribution business which we were. selling handsets all throughout the uk. and just the handsets. motorola dropped the price on me. overnight. having delivered a huge amount of stock. into my warehouse and dropped the price. overnight in the marketplace by 50. pounds. it wrote off 15 million pounds off my p. l. when i'd only expected to make six. so there was all of those issues all the.

time i mean it was really a fight to the. bitter end here to grow my business so. it was a very very tough environment. i really want to go on to the to that. which is how tough it was scaling that. business to you know. the tremendous valuation it reached and. the exit you had um i was just thinking. then as you were speaking. um you know you were talking then about. kind of your your ability to understand. people and get the best out of them. which was so evident there. and it made me ask myself the question.

in my head like what were the skills you. had in business that you were really. good at and the skills you had in. business where you weren't good at like. i can look at myself and say okay i'm. like you very uniquely good at this. stuff but i know i'm terrible at x y and. z and i ask that question in part. because entrepreneurs sometimes fall. into the trap of believing that they. need to be good at everything to succeed. but when you look at the greats like sir. you know richard branson. and so on. i'm not actually good at that many. things according to a lot of people but. very very good at what he was good at so.

what was your sort of um well i think. first of all. one of my unique points was opposite of. what you just said it was that i was. good at everything but not great at. everything right so i was good at. everything i was usually the best at any. one of the areas of my employees. and what my goal was always was to have. somebody in a discipline that was not. better than me that i could admire it. was difficult to find but of course i. did find those people i had to do. because i wasn't good enough at all of.

those disciplines to grow the business. to where i did so i had to find those. people but initially the. the the reason for success was that i. was good at everything. but everything but i wasn't great at. everything now if you then look at when. i then later on as the business group. identified my weaknesses and strengths. my commercial intellect was the real. the real. massive attribute. along with resilience if you look at my. six critical success fit factors.

ambition drive resilience passion. commercial intellect and leadership. of all of those. um commercial intellect was probably the. number one quality but with. huge resilience. and uh and it's that resilience that. enabled me to fight when everything was. collapsing around me and to still fight. through the depths of despair and just. keep going and my health mental health. and physical health to hold up and to. keep going.

so it was definitely though those two if. you look at my weaknesses i managed to. plug those because whilst i was a great. innovator and i'd say right that's what. we're going to do now go away and do it. i was dreadful at following up and i. would never. follow up properly but i plugged that by. by having somebody that was really in to. the follow-up detail so he would hold. the people to account he was my. right-hand man. he would hold the people to account. where i'd set the task and the challenge.

and maybe innovated a whole new way of. doing something he would then follow up. and make sure that they did. i was very poor at that for whatever. reason i don't know i think i was just. on to the next brainwave you know and on. to the next creation. whilst i've got an amazing attention to. detail spontaneous detail i'm not very. good at just going back week in week out. to. look at something and check it's being. done properly so i did need somebody to. do that for me. quick one for many years people have.

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is um one of your sort of strength. factors or success factors was this this. word resilience. now as you look at your life. before we go into the the key moments. where it was important for you to be. resilient and all of the turmoil you. went through across your business career. where did that resilience come from in. you and where do you think it comes from. in people generally because i know. there's an argument to say you know i. was born with it but for me when i look. at your story i think you know. it was like you know you went through a.

bit of a tumultuous um childhood and. there was a lot of stress put on you. which you learned how to deal with which. you know. having sat here with a lot of people and. people that had a certain resilience to. them it tends to be the case that. they've been through quite a tough. moulding to build that is that accurate. um well i absolutely think i was born. with it it's a characteristic that. you're born with um. you're born with a. you can see all around the world you're.

born with a degree of physical. resilience and mental resilience and no. matter how much you train somebody. you're not going to put the level of. resilience in that somebody might need. whether the. upbringing adds to that resilience or. detract so i wouldn't really know and. some people it will detract there's an. old expression isn't there what doesn't. kill you makes you stronger clearly it's. not true you know but in some cases it. is now in my case i would say i was born. with that resilience and that's a real. look of birth you know if you've got.

these characteristics that are positive. that that's just pure luck of birth. but then you can do with them what you. wish and of course the external. environment or in this case my. upbringing probably added to that. resilience and uh strengthened me even. more but another person it might have. weakened and left them scarred so it's a. it's a tricky one really but um. but. i i would never. want to see anybody have. the challenges that i had and hope that.

they would survive because they might. not. you know and. i wouldn't want to gamble. that that would make them stronger. because it might not make them stronger. and in a lot of cases i know it wouldn't. you know i've seen it amongst my 12 000. employees i always remember the day when. one of my guys who was under. immense pressure. um rang me up from the car sobbing. it was about seven o'clock in the. morning said i can't come in today. um and i won't mention his name because. he might be embarrassed by it but i said.

what. where what's happened where are you he. said. i don't know he said i'm in the car. halfway to work and i just can't. can't move can't drive can't do anything. i just can't come in. and i instantly thought god you know. something very serious is going wrong. here so i said i said to look just sit. in the car where are you just send me a. send me give me your address and i'll. come to you and i went to him and it was. clear that he was having a bit of a. nervous breakdown. now.

that didn't make him stronger. well fortunately i gave him about two or. three months off work and he did recover. and when he came back to work i took a. load of responsibilities off him put. those into other areas and let him have. an easy entry back into his role and he. did become a very valuable employee. again. and uh it was one of my success stories. under multiple level uh a success story. you've rescued somebody. but um. but.

those sorts of pressures i was under. every day and i never cracked now why. was it because of my upbringing you know. was i just gifted at birth. and i think it's this birthright that. you know you just so lucky if you're. born with those qualities. and then you can try and make them the. best that you can do after that. i i resonate with what you've said there. in terms of i i. and i think the science is also supports. the idea that many people are. predisposed with a certain level of. resilience and the way they process. information is a little bit more.

um. protects them a little bit more from the. external world um. i think one of the flaws in that when. you're one of those people tends to be. that it becomes harder to empathize with. those that are um suffering and i've i. struggled with that because because i do. feel like you know i went through fairly. stressful my company went public and i. grew up from my bedroom when i was 20. years old um and i struggled for a while. with understanding why people didn't. think the way that i thought and.

couldn't deal with the things that i. could deal with. and that was a and i came to maybe an. understanding at 23 that was a real risk. if i couldn't emphasize with the fact. that people's brains weren't the same as. mine and they didn't have the same level. of driving you know do you relate to. that oh absolutely i'm still struggling. with it now yeah. i'm pragmatic about it because you know. the way i look at that. and i did learn that in my 30s i guess. but. didn't really ever accept it i couldn't. understand why somebody bright who had. been to oxbridge didn't get it.

and there's me you know giving up. a-levels abandoned you know and. not caught considering myself to be an. intellectual at all could see it crystal. clear and why couldn't this person see. it and you're right it does cause a lot. lack of empathy a lack of thrust. and increases frustration. but pragmatically. it it had to be that way because if. everybody could see it the way i'd see. it i'd just be one of the crowd i would. never have had the success that i had so.

the qualities that i was born with and. that helped me to succeed if everybody. was the same well i'd just be one of. seven billion people on the same path. you know so you then look at it in a. different way that uh you just feel very. lucky that you've got those qualities. and rather than criticizing other people. that haven't got them. try and look at it that you're very. lucky to have them. and to look after those people and get. the best out of them that you can in. their particular area and try and limit.

the i guess trying to limit the. downsides of having those qualities. because for me like the obsessiveness. the drive the lack of empathy for why. people couldn't see the world and this. didn't see the world the same way i saw. it not saying that i saw it in a better. way because as i say there's lots of. costs to seeing the world in a certain. in any way no matter how you see the. world as a cost. whether that's you become. incredibly lonely. or you you know abandon romantic. relationships whatever um on that point. of resilience then.

can you take me to the first time in. your business professional career where. you genuinely. the first hard moment the first moment. where you thought this is it. gosh i mean i've had thousands but. and they were all a different level of. crisis. i'll deal with the first that. that really worried me um. i i i was a. michelin tyre company engineer was a. foreman um.

in the. tie making department on the engineering. side. and uh during that time i started. selling cars and i sold them to all my. michelin people. um but i was trading from home. and the neighbors complained because. they saw all these cars coming and going. i kept it as discreet as i could of. course but they saw them and they. complained and the planners came down. and. told me i'd got to to cease. so suddenly i panicked because this is. this was the start of what i saw of my. future to try and create some wealth and.

some. success and so. i panicked into this uh car sales site. and opened up this car sales site but i. hadn't really got enough money to stock. it properly so i went to my mother. and i said could we mortgage your house. mom. and that'll allow us to buy. um. another 20 cars i think it was from the. from the mortgage that would uh we'd be. able to get. and uh.

don't worry about it because i will. never ever fail you you'll never lose. your house and furthermore when i make. money i'll relocate you to where you. want to be on the side of the mallvan. hills by your lovely house there and so. you'll do well i'll tell you she didn't. even hesitate. which is remarkable really because. you know i've got no real proper success. um history there for her to judge from. um she just did desire to love and uh. did it instantly so coming to the answer. of the question of the trauma.

all went well during the summer. but. as november came sales dropped off a. cliff. and we started losing money hand over. fist because there was just no sales it. was a very very grim november. uh and december and all the cars were. frozen up you know it was one of those. winters that were just horrendous back. almost before you were probably was. before you were born actually. so 92. no it was before then it was. about 80.

1982 perhaps um. but but they dropped off a cliff. now we weren't in financial difficulty. but. the trajectory. would have put us on it and. i started really really really panicking. and there was not much i could do about. it because every time i went to a car. you couldn't even open the door it was. frozen solid the batteries were always. flat. there was no customers anyway. we couldn't clear the frost off or with.

the great difficulty if you hosed it. down with water the water would freeze i. mean it was a nightmare a complete. nightmare and i started having visions. of letting my mother down and failing. her in a bad way. and uh it really drove me uh at the time. i was still working at mitchell entire. company i was doing 50 hours a week. there. i was doing probably. 70 or 80 hours a week at the car sales. site as well and going out and doing all.

the buying. i remember for a period of six months. i worked 22 hours a day one week and. three because i was on night shift at. michelin that week and on that night. shift i'd get home at 7 00 a.m. i'd have two hours with my well one and. a half two hours with my wife uh enough. i'd be going to the auctions buying cars. during the day running the car sales. site at night until i went to work it's. 11 o'clock on the. night shift again and i did that one. week and three for about six months it. didn't nearly finish me i was on.

tranquilizers because it was i was. wretching and i was so. uh disturbed you know i was in a real. mess but i was able to function when you. say tranquilizers you mean like. anti-anxiety yes i think there were. if i remember rightly i think they were. librium. just a car a acidity that the doctor had. given me i wasn't feeling anxious. um my nervous system was just shot. i just got so much stress and pressure. to save my mother's house even though it.

wasn't under immediate threat but i've. always done that i've always seen the. threat a long way in advance which is. what keeps you safe because then you. react but it didn't keep me safe. physically because you know it put me. under enormous pressure to try and make. certain that day never came have you. seen throughout your career how your. body ends up holding the score there's. the book written about how our body even. if our mind hasn't acknowledged the. threat um hasn't acknowledged the fear. consciously our body will quickly tell. us through.

symptoms like the one you've described. there that we are under threat because i. noticed in my business whenever we had. payroll issues or whenever cash got. tight. i would get sick. like i would the only time in the seven. years that i ran the business where i. would get a cold or a flu. was like 48 hours. um around the time that i'd found out. that we had a cash issue. and although i thought i was this like. tough guy that who could just he was. dealing with everything clearly my body. had its own. you know.

mind. yeah. i've sort of been quite lucky mostly. because that's the only time i can. remember my body. rebellion but i think anybody's would. you know because you can't work 22 hours. a day under immense pressure you just. cannot do it i get an hour and a half. sleep. you know and doing that for seven nights. seven days you just you just i don't. think anybody could probably do it and. it's probably the only time that my. system started to fail but then with the. odd tranquilizer i was able to keep.

going you know so. uh it calm you know calmness whatever. with this wretching was it calmed it. down i was okay and then i had no other. symptoms and this is just pure look of. life you know it's just the look of life. that uh. nothing's been able to cave me in. and uh. you know there was a i was thinking when. i answered that question do i tell you. about my mother well i told you that. because it's very topical for me at the. moment having lost my mother and feeling. very emotional about that but uh but.

that was a very emotional occasion to. make certain that i. that i didn't let it out but. uh in the early years of uh cellular. we had probably 90 percent of our. business was through motorola motorola. were world leaders by a long way. and uh. the the other 10 was a bit here and a. bit there the odd panasonic the odd. nokia but really almost inconsequential.

because motorola had the entire market. share. and the relationship with motorola was. always very tenuous because although we. we came to sell vast volumes it was a. bit of a. well they they always referred it as the. tail wagging the dog you know when the. tail wags the dog they don't like it so. when they're encouraging you to do huge. volumes for them that's wonderful as you. gain volume you're getting power as you. gain power they feel vulnerable and as. they feel vulnerable they want to cut.

your power i mean this was with every. manufacturer with everything in my life. i grew these people and then they wanted. to chop me down because i grew too. powerful and they didn't like that. situation. anyway this uh motorola had been. threatening me for. a couple of years it was very weird. because on the one hand they they would. encourage me to do something then they. might get a plate because i'd exported. to china perfectly legitimately but. exported to china they didn't like that. so then they get a complaint from the.

chinese you know the people that were in. those territories. the english guys were very happy because. i'd done the volume. the chinese guys were. complaining to head office the complaint. came back to the uk and the uk. they're not to come and say well you. mustn't do that again. but then. they'd still. encourage me to take big volumes which. they knew i couldn't do without. exporting around the world. so it was this very tenuous relationship. anyway eventually a new manager took.

over and he came to see me took me out. to lunch which was a very rare occasion. but we went out to lunch and stoked on. trent and. we talked about the business model and. so on and he said. you know. we don't really like this distribution. model of yours. and. we really. hate the fact that you're undercutting. hate the fact that you're competitive. and it's doing us a lot of damage around. the world. and in the uk. and if anybody was going to do that i'd. be doing it.

i. naively at the time took that to mean. motorola wanted to take my distribution. off me. a month later he terminated my. distribution agreement don't forget this. is 90. of my business by then i got 60 or 70. employees huge overheads. and motorola was 90 percent of my. business. he terminated my agreement. and one month later resigned from. motorola. and set up his own distribution business. on the south coast of england.

with motorola as his supplier. so he went from general manager to my. competitor by having stripped me. of all of my turnover. how would you deal with that. you tell me. well the way i dealt with it. was. every every challenge in life whether. it's business personal or anything is. just that it's a challenge and there's. always a solution and you've just got to. put your intellect towards what the. solution is. um well so what was the solution here.

well i just looked at the marketplace. and there was lots of service providers. who are the people that sold the air. time on behalf of vodafone cellnet and. so on and these service providers were. were distributing motorola of course. because that was 90 of their business. and they were getting discounts. according to the volume they took. so i went and had confident confidential. conversations with a couple of them and. said look why don't i buy from you.

and what i can do is i can add my. massive volume onto your volume and. you'll get a huge retrospective discount. a much better buying price we'll have to. keep it secret from motorola because. otherwise they might cut your supply off. but we'll just do it very very. secretively you supply me and i can go. to the market and continue doing what. i'm doing. and i managed to get two suppliers who. bought into that. and supplied me with a kit cheaper than. i'd been buying it before because. motorola had always manipulated me and.

given me a price that was far worse than. i should have had for the volume that i. was doing. so i managed to keep going immediately. on that but that wasn't the answer. because i didn't want to help motorola. so another uh another situation occurred. where i asked nokia to come in to see me. they were they were actually quite. reticent to do so um the guy chris jones. who was their sales director eventually. did come and see me we got on like a. house on fire in spite of his reputation.

for being a real you know a bit of a. hard nut uh we did just get on very very. well nokia had only got one percent. market share and i said to chris look. we can build this business you'll have. my heart and soul and passion because i. want to kill motorola i want to destroy. them in the same way that they've tried. to destroy me. and we did a deal with one of their. old stock items that they'd failed with. completely and i bought 3000 units which.

doesn't sound much now i mean i bought. that every second almost in the later. days of cordwell but uh. at that time it's a monster deal the. biggest ever been done in the. marketplace by anybody and i bought. these 3 000 units at a phenomenally low. price and i was able to put nokia on the. face of the map with these units and. that wouldn't have saved the day for me. had it not been for a bit of a stroke of. luck as well which which was the. nokia decided to get aggressive they.

decided that they didn't want to be a. nobody at the mobile phone business. they'd got a new phone coming out the. 101 and they really wanted to capture. market share that's music to my ears. because it was a lovely little phone it. was once again before your time really. but but it was a a lot of listeners will. remember especially the older ones. because it was a really famous phone in. its day. and i managed to do a deal with nokia. for huge quantities a phenomenally. advantageous price. and the my goal was to take motorola's.

market share off them. to the nth degree not just as a vendetta. but because that was good for my. business and i was really really upset. with motorola because they tried to kill. me you know. and if i hadn't been able to find. solutions i would have i would have been. bankrupt i wouldn't have survived so. we got this nokia 101. and we absolutely blasted it out through. our retail premises through our airtime. retailer services and through just pure.

wholesale. and we built nokia up to 20 market share. in a year wow and commensurate at the. same time motorola's market share. started dropping. they were world leader until iphone and. apple came out. so. we helped motor we helped nokia get to. worldly well we could help them to get. to uk leader. and helped motorola's massive decline. and um. listeners might think oh that's you know. a bit.

bit harsh but it was not harsh because. you know what what do you do if somebody. wants to destroy you like that in an. unethical way as well you know i don't. mind fair competition but it was very. unethical they'd help me build up to. what i was i had helped build their. market share then it didn't suit them. but it was mostly on an unethical. general manager who just wanted to kill. my distribution and re remove my. distributorship so he could set up on. his own. on that day where you get that.

email whatever it was i don't know i. didn't. really know how people were. communicating back then because i wasn't. alive but you get that message that um. motorola are terminating your contract. what is the. and you've got 70 employees you've got. this great business that's growing. quickly and it's probably you know. really taking you out of. um. it's giving you a new life potentially. right and you get that message that they. are terminating your contract on the day. when you read the message how does it.

feel emotionally. take me through the range. utter despair. utter despair. um. on the one hand. and. fires up the lion in me on the other. and i have got a lion in me you know and. uh. my brother once wrote a poem about that. that i could be the kindest and best. friend but don't make me an enemy. i i but but just for clarity for your. list i don't i don't hold grudges.

against anybody ever you know but if. somebody really really goes at me. um they'd better beware. and so it was a combination of these two. aspects sleepless nights nights oh. absolutely i don't have sleepless nights. but i did on that because. it was terminal if i didn't find a. solution it was instantly terminal you. know my turnover was going to drop. immediately my stores were empty. nothing. no future. and all those employees would have been.

able to work i'd have been bankrupt and. i wouldn't be here talking to you today. i had to find a solution. and i did it with with ferocity. and passion. drive you know and i would not sweep a. moment until i found. enough solutions not just one solution. enough solutions that gave me insulation. and what i always say to people going. into business. follow my 10 rule about everything. never have more than 10 percent of your.

supplies with any one supplier. never have 10 of your sales with any one. customer and never have 10 of the. responsibility with any one employee now. we can't all achieve that i certainly. couldn't achieve it and i've never been. able to achieve it since but it's a goal. to have in mind because that insulates. you from any catastrophe whatsoever. so you know if if people in business. have got any business that was similar. to mine where you're relying on. customers and suppliers and so on the 10.

rule. um that i. sort of innovated as a consequence of my. uh experiences is an absolute golden. rule to try and emulate. i love that and the reason i i really. dwell on the point of like having those. moments of like existential terminal. risk is because on. i feel pretty much all entrepreneurs. especially if they they go on for long. enough we'll encounter a moment like. that and i did in my life many of them. and in hindsight you realize how your.

response in those moments ends up being. really really defining and also i view. those moments as inevitable regardless. of what you do and thirdly. the risk is that entrepreneurs will. think. those moments are a. are evidence of their own inadequacy. and that this is a sign that they should. give up whereas you know having read. through your story you go through. moments of kind of like existential risk. and crisis over and over again. um and you know it was just the nature.

of the business yeah you know it was. it was a horrible business it really was. a horrible business i mean i'm. it's created all my wealth yeah and. i'm very grateful to the business but it. was a horrible business that was. i was sitting on the edge of my seat. nearly every day for 20 years facing. threat after threat after threat after. threat there was never a day went by. there i didn't. face a fairly significant threat. um.

not of the significance that i've just. talked about but there were just endless. threats. and you know it was really. really actually very tiring and not. enjoyable at all a lot of people that i. know have said oh this is so enjoyable. well not for me it wasn't i mean i. enjoyed the success and i enjoyed some. moments and some victories. but it was almost like um. i can't imagine really how a heroine had. it feels but uh i think i think i was a.

heroin addict you know i'd get my shot. of heroin. and everything would be wonderful for an. hour or two and then the rest of it was. despair isn't that so bizarre that you. would choose that you would choose the. pain and chaos versus just you could. have gone and done something else john. you could have gone and just worked a. nice nine-to-five job and been. comfortable why are you choosing. struggle and pain. just. in my dna you know i i visualized when i.

was seven or eight years old. um and it was an immensely strong vision. visualization. of. being in a chauffeur driven rolls royce. and a show for driven rolls-royce. because my father. admired them and said they were the best. koi in the world and only rich people. had them blah blah blah. so i'm in a chauffeur driven rolls royce. driving around the streets of shelton. which is the back streets of stokentran. and handing five-pound pound notes out. to poor people.

that became. i don't know why but it became my. destiny. that that destiny sat over me like a. damocles sword you know you've got to. achieve that destiny else you've just. failed completely in life you have to do. it you have to do the wealth and then. you have to give that wealth away to. make people's lives better. so i didn't have any choice. i know it sounds bizarre but i had no. choice it's like now. a lot of my life is stressful on the. charity work but i don't have any choice.

you know i give up and sacrifice lots of. personal things to do the things that. i'm doing from a charitable perspective. i mean don't get me wrong i have a great. lifestyle i don't want any sympathy on. that but i'm just saying i do and it's. my destiny and i can't give it up you. know people say well why did you do this. why did you why'd you miss out on things. that you could be doing why don't you. just take it easy why don't you earn. that i said well i've got no choice it's. just written into my dna i must do it. and uh. and so i do you know it's just who i am.

i can't explain it really it's just who. i am. being dragged by that sense of. mission towards that north star of the. rolls royce giving out the five pound. notes or even now with all the. charitable work you do. you describe it as not being a choice. which kind of means that it's just like. you're being pulled in that direction. the cost again which i always like to. shine a light on as well as you've. described as you you said at the time. you didn't have any friends. throughout that period and you described. you know those 20 years as 20 years of. grief talk to me about the loneliness.

point. i heard you say i think it was on desert. island discs your interview there that. you didn't have friends. no but i wasn't lonely i mean i had a. wonderful wife. um eventually went on to have uh. two children during that time or three. eventually. um. and i wasn't lonely at all um. i lived for the business and i'd got. some great relationships within the. business with people who. you know i was really close to craig. benny who was my finance director as.

they want but monitored i felt with him. i felt like he was my brother but my. brother was in the business as well. so there were these close relationships. within the business not very many but. enough to to not feel lonely and then i. got my wife and children at home. so the loneliness never. never came to fruition i wouldn't ever. want to go back to that because i've now. got a huge number of friends and uh some. very special friends. and. and a lot of loving relationships.

so i would never want to give that up. but actually the charity is part of that. because some of the children that we've. helped in cordwell children. are immensely successful in their own. right i was telling somebody only. yesterday that one of the children we. helped when she was three years old was. tilly. until he has type 2 muscular atrophy. which stops all the muscles working. she actually won. of her own. absolute brilliance and effort a. scholarship at stanford university.

i mean it's unbelievable. now. i'm not responsible for that i helped. because we supplied her with a. wheelchair that she could not have. probably succeeded without it but her. and her parents and other support groups. around her we all as a team but her. mainly more than anybody. made this happen. and i visited her at stanford university. we went for a coffee together and uh. she's in a wheelchair the one that we.

supplied you know with a little joystick. buzzing along the pavement i'm there on. my bike i'd cycle down from her son's. house and they're cycling along she's. in a wheelchair we get to starbucks i go. and buy her coffee. and she's got this starbucks coffee on a. tray in front of her wheelchair. and she's got a support mechanism on her. arm. that gives her gives a little bit extra. stiffness. and this coffee's quite a big coffee and. she lifts it up but i'm thinking. i didn't really know understand how she. was doing that which clearly didn't.

understand his wheelchair worked and i. said. tilly i thought your arm was too weak to. lift a weight like that she said it is. i said well how are you doing that she. said oh i've got two foot pedals there. and one of them well the foot pedals. motorize right this this this bracket. that lifts her arm so she got power. assisted on. and she's drinking this coffee and i'm. thinking the the absolute trauma that. she's gone through in life and yet she's. done everything with grace with spirit.

with enthusiasm even ending up at. stanford university. you know six thousand five thousand. miles from home. i mean it's amazing. and. joint like that. can never be replaced by anything i can. have all the boats in the world all the. helicopters all the trappings that i do. have which are lovely and wonderful. but without that they wouldn't mean much. to me and it's that sense of spiritual. satisfaction. from changing a person's life especially.

a child's that you'll never get from. restaurant meals or boats or holidays. you just never get it yeah you enjoy it. and i take all my friends and i have a. lovely time really enjoy it but does it. really. go down into my heart. like. the 60 000 children we've helped and the. tillies of this world no can't even. begin to compete. quick one this is maybe a good segue to. talk about a little bit of an. announcement i have to make which is we. have a brand new sponsor for the podcast.

and some of you if you've seen my social. media posts will know that i often wear. a lot of jewelry and the brand that i'm. wearing is a brand called crafted as you. can see on the table in front of me if. you're watching this on youtube crafted. are brands that sell really meaningful. affordable men's jewelry so i reached. out to the founders of crafted alex and. danny and asked them if they wanted to. sponsor the podcast and they said they. did they listen to the podcast they like. what we do here the podcast is a place. of meaning and their journey is all. about meaning and so we forged a new. partnership the piece of jewelry i wear.

the most i want to introduce you to the. pieces and why i wear them is this sand. timer unsurprisingly and the thing for. me about sand timer is it's probably the. most clear reminder that our time here. on earth is finite so as the episodes go. on i'll introduce a piece of jewelry and. i'll tell you the meaning it has for me. and why i wear it. we get to the end of your story at. phones for you and um. and you've you've had this tremendous. you know exit which makes you a. billionaire. what was there a pivotal moment where.

you did the penny drop for you that you. would your next sort of source of. meaning would be setting up coldwell. children and doing so much sort of. philanthropy and the pledge you made to. the melinda gates foundation to give. away your your worth and the initiatives. you've launched with the great british. entrepreneur was to support young people. into into their. their career paths was there a pivotal. moment where you decided that. this was now your new meaning there was. absolutely i mean everything that you've. described there was evolutionary but. there was an absolute pivotal point.

because. during the the years of growing the. business and i've already tried to. describe the difficulties and challenges. i faced in that i was all consumed. and charity was the last thing on my. mind. but the destiny was still written in. stone somewhere in my dna it was just. buried by the. need to. maintain the success and keep the. success and not lose it and there were. so many threats that i had to be a 100. focus. one day the uh.

uh. the nspcc came to me and said there's a. lord taverner's cricket i don't know why. i held this meeting but i did it was a. charity meeting and they said there's a. lord taverner's cricket match in stone. would you sponsor it. and they gave me the details and i. thought. well. it's not going to raise a lot of money. and. and somehow i evolved in that uh meeting. to taking over it and being largely. responsible for running it and making it.

successful and it was celebrities that. were playing cricket against um other. celebrities you know and uh just a. fundraiser that was in the local cricket. room it didn't make a massive sum of. money but that was. the moment that that really got me. involved. but then the nspcc realizing i could be. a useful asset. got me and. got me to come down to a centre and have. a uh have a uh. an understanding of the work they did. which i didn't really understand.

i knew it was to help children but i. didn't really understand. and when they showed me videos and. talked me through. it was young children sometimes as young. as three and four or five sexually. abused. often by a relative maybe the father. maybe the mother or an uncle or a friend. and they were sexually abused. and i'm looking at this in horror. but what was even more horrible if. anything could be.

was that the child then couldn't do. anything about it because daddy would. say you don't want daddy to get in. trouble do you for showing his love. um daddy will go to jail and you don't. want that do you. so this. sexual abuse would just continue and. continue and continue. and the older the child would get the. more the child would think. this is horrible horrible and feel. guilty and dreadful about it. but the same threat that the father. would go to jail was sitting over them.

i thought just how horrendous is that. how horrendous so i got really bought. into the nspcc then i immediately fired. into action. um ended up. as president of the north staffs branch. for a short period of time. what happened next was i mean that was. the pivotal moment really but what. happened next was. the nspcc is a fantastic charity but i. wasn't getting enough satisfaction out. of hands-on seen the difference i'd made.

and i knew i could do a lot more. and so i decided to found my own charity. which was called all children. and with the objective of helping every. child in the uk that needed help. and the only qualifier wouldn't be. anything to do with what illness or what. the only qualifier is that the parents. couldn't get the help anywhere else. so any child with any illness. serious illness. we would be there to help and that's. what we've done and up to yet help 60. 000 and still growing it enormously now.

and to avoid the criticisms the nspcc. had which was that the overheads were. high and i'm not criticizing that. because i'd have to really understand. the nuts and bolts of everything um so. i'm certainly not. implying any criticism of that but they. were criticized for the overheads being. too high like a lot of charities are i. decided that uh the cordwell group would. pay every single running cost of the. charity so all the wages all the cars. all the telephones everything and not. only that but every single employee.

would be involved in the charity in some. way either by donating themselves or by. fundraising to try and uh raise money. for these kids. that's what we did it's it's just deeply. tremendously inspiring and um. as i read through your story there's a. bit of a almost a cruel irony to the. fact that then your own child was in. need of the services that you were and. the support that you were giving to so. many other children. your son rufus got sick with lyme.

disease yeah yeah it was a huge irony. really because all of my kids were very. very healthy and i felt hugely. privileged and even more privileged when. i got involved at the nspcc and saw. these tragic cases of abuse. and then when i set up cordwell. children's for all these children that. so desperately needed help and who'd. been born with nothing you know. in a traumatic situation. and uh i felt unbelievably lucky and. that look lasted for i suppose.

six years. i think rufus fell ill. no seven or eight years and then rufus. fell ill with lyme disease and. panspandus. and uh we didn't know any of this at the. time because none of the doctors knew. anything about it. uh he just fell in with anxiety. i think with anxiety he collapsed on me. i was taking him back to school on a. sunday night he was at boarding school. which was all my children that went to. boarding school but as their request was.

never something i wanted them to do. particularly but they wanted to do it so. rufus went to boarding school he was. home for an exia and on the sunday night. he said dad i don't want to go to school. well i'd had that with all my children. because as much as they wanted to go to. boarding school. after the weekend at home with the. family. you know they'd feel emotional about it. and wouldn't really want to leave the. family home. and i knew i had to be quite hard and. firm and cold about it you know and say. no of course you do rufus you know it's.

always like this you get this. pain in the pit of your stomach that. you're leaving the family home and. you're going to school but it's fine you. know you'll be fine once we get in the. car we just go. i said no dad this is different. and i said what do you mean so don't be. silly. and i tried everything in my power to be. persuasive inspirational. hard. i tried every emotion to get him in that. car. almost to the point of physically. dragging him not that i did but i was.

feeling like come on rufus please get in. the car you know you you know you'll be. fine once we get on the road because i. had it with my other children i knew. exactly what was going on or so i. thought. anyway i never did that didn't get him. to school. and i actually never got him to school. again. not properly. and the next day he's still in a. dreadful state it wasn't really anxiety. it's just they couldn't leave the home. well it must have been anxiety but i.

couldn't explain it. and. we took him to a therapist the therapist. started doing all the you know the retro. retrograde looking at his life and blah. blah blah blah was there any traumatic. events and there wasn't and just going. through everything. nobody over the next few years could. find anything that was causing this. illness nothing. and eventually. and this was only about seven or eight. years ago after he'd been suffering. already for about.

uh uh probably the best part of bay nine. years already. um we found out that it got lyme disease. and we didn't know about panzer. pandestan now lyme disease can show as a. set of physical and neuro conditions but. also neurological it can attack the. brain and cause neurological situations. where your brain is unable to respond. appropriately and normally because of. this bacterial infection. um we treated him for that but he didn't.

he never really. he just deteriorated carried on. deteriorating. to the point where. he was utterly suicidal. he'd lie on the bed rocking. all day pulling his hair out screaming. screaming he just wanted to die and he's. since told us that the only reason he. didn't kill himself was because we were. there fighting every second of the day. to keep him alive and fighting with the. authorities and the medical people to.

try and find a solution and he was like. my mother really surrounded by love and. if you surround somebody by love it. makes it more difficult for them to. to do something not that would stop. everybody but you know he rufus. said that's what kept him alive and we. kept him alive we had to have 24. supervision in the bedroom. in case he jumped out the window. um i don't know whether he ever would. have done that but that's the way it was. and it was a very traumatic period of my.

life for many many years i'm lucky. because my ex-wife was utterly devoted. to him and looked after him and when she. was then no longer able to my eldest. daughter took on the mantle and became. an amazing amazing carer for him and. just. looked after him to the to her own. self-sacrifice massive self-sacrifice. actually because she lived rufus's life. even though she got a husband and a life. in america she just lived rufus life.

with him. so we had a lot of amazing support and. then we found out about panz pandas. and nobody knows about panzpander so. it's one of my great big campaigns over. the next few years. to not to to make sure all the medical. authorities understand transpanders. understand that it's a real illness. understand the symptoms and and start. working out what the very best treatment. is. anyway we found some experts and they've. been treating pants pandas for a few.

years so we we took rufus over. and uh jenny frankovic this expert on uh. panzpander started treating him. anyway he still didn't really get a lot. better he had ups and downs. but it got these horrible horrible. symptoms that transpanders people get. they get a whole range of symptoms and. uh i hope your listeners will go on to. the panzer pandas the website and look. at these symptoms because some of your. listeners will have a young child who.

are suffering from transpanders and they. won't be getting the help that they need. or the diagnosis so i really hope they. go on and look at this because it might. transform their lives and the lives of. their child but this is a big challenge. i've got going forward to get this out. there this message out there and it's. quite easily identifiable at first. because it's the same thing it's a. collapse. of somebody that's fairly sudden. unexpected and for not really any. identifiable reason.

and there's a whole range of symptoms. but some of those are absolutely anxiety. fear now in rufus case he went on to. develop all sorts of symptoms like air. hunger which is horrendous and air. hunger is best described i mean i can't. describe it really very well because. i've never don't i don't really. understand it but rufus has described it. as like somebody puts a plastic bag over. your head and seals it and you're. gasping like this for every last breath. until it passes and that's one of the uh.

symptoms and the things that happen as. one of these anxieties agoraphobia. hemetophobia a whole range of uh of. symptoms and lots of others as well. anyway eventually we ended up moving. rufus down to um from stanford down to. l.a where we'd found a whole psychiatric. team we wanted to put him in a clinic. first of all but now bernie manny. couldn't travel every time we moved him. even. even five miles from the house was. traumatic traumatic for him and.

traumatic for us anyway we did manage to. get him to i actually bought a two. hundred thousand pounds american motor. home. put wi-fi in it to try and make the. journey tolerable to him in concept and. in reality. uh but it was still traumatic taking him. down in this one winnebago and anyway we. got him under this team of people i'm. not going to tell the story from there. on because it was it's a bit long and. also. there's a lot more trauma to come but.

he's now. in really great shape he's not cured but. he's living a good life and a happy life. and can liaise and relate to everything. and and he's inspiring other people so. it's uh. it's. i hope. that the trauma that we've been through. that he's been through more importantly. we can turn to making him the biggest. ambassador for panz pandas. and for using his. dreadful situation to help.

hundreds of thousands of other children. around the world to avoid it or. understand it and deal with it better. it's wonderfully um inspiring and it's. it's also. really incredible to hear that he's he's. living a life where he has found. happiness and he's been able to. to create a life despite not being fully. cured that is um. you know has meaning to it so. and we hope we are hoping for a full. cure you know we're hoping that he'll be. able to travel. one day soon.

but for the moment he can just go down. we got in this house especially right on. the side of beverly hills i mean also. wealth comes into this you know we're so. lucky to have the wealth because when. you get a child like that. like our children with cordwell children. you haven't got the resources to help. them it's devastating you've got the. most devastating situation with your. child. but you're unable to do anything. financially to do what you need to do. anyway yeah we bought him this house on. the side of hollywood hills. and he's only five minutes away from um.

sunset boulevard. so he's got a life commuting between the. two. girlfriend. and a lovely life you know and all we. need to do now is get him to the next. level where he can travel and maybe um. find a meaningful. um. form of employment to give him proper. satisfaction that might just be. spreading the word of panz pandas and i. pay him a wage to do that you know but. whatever it is. i i think he's definitely on the pathway.

to a fulfilling life. and and that's. thanks to my daughter my ex-wife and all. the effort my family have put in. alongside jenny frankovich and in. stamford and the psychiatrists in uh in. la so it's quite a happy result and uh. and i think that there's. you know there's an old expression where. there's life there's hope and there is. really hope for those plans pandas kids. but we need to get the message out. when i hear that story and i reflect on.

another experience which we haven't. talked about which was you getting. almost critically injured on your bike. last year when you were cycling and you. broke i don't know was it 12 12 bones. and. i mean that was a near-death experience. for you. the loss of your mother. recently. what have you learned about through. these moments of grief and you know. new death experiences of your own and. you know the situation with rufus what. have you learned about what what. actually matters in life.

well i i i think i always really knew i. just wasn't very good at implementing it. and that's. [Music]. just. i think loving people caring for society. and making the world a better place and. i think if you can do that. no matter who you are no matter how. little money you've got if you can just. contribute to society in a positive way. the feelings are immensely positive. um but there's the obvious lessons that. health is critical i mean i did nearly.

die on that. mountain road in italy i could have had. a death from four or five different. reasons because the injuries were so. severe. um and health is. utterly utterly vital. but uh but that's an obvious statement. but i think when you've experienced as. much ill health as i have. mainly with my family. but also. these accidents i've had which have been. an endless stream of accidents over the. last 40 years which yourself impose you.

know it's entirely my own fault it's the. way i live my life i live my life for. thrills you know as well as making the. world a better place i have my own world. which is you know fairly adventurous and. risky and the last thing i wanted to ask. you about is i guess it's a bit of. advice i guess because. i in running my businesses over the. years and being a very driven ambitious. man have um sacrificed um and not been. very good historically at sustaining. romantic relationships you've had you.

know you reference your former partner. there with such admiration and you have. you know an amicable relationship with. her but over the years what lessons have. you learned about how to strive. and be driven whilst also trying to. maintain. um a romantic relationship and also i'd. say the sub question to that is are. romantic relationships important. i am male yeah yeah. i think the first thing is that i. wouldn't change anything uh on that and. i was utterly focused.

on business. to the detriment of my wife and family. but. i say detriment self critically because. i'm not sure it's i'm not really sure. that's true because. i know i was always as kind as possible. always as loving as possible and always. would put. important events forward so my children. would probably say if they. said did you get enough of dad and. they'd say well we didn't get that much. of him but when he mattered when it. mattered to us he was there.

when we'd got a problem he was there and. i would always if there was a. significant problem like that employer. told you about it was broken down up. when there was a when somebody really. needs me. i'm absolutely there for anybody. important in my life but i wasn't able. to be a devoted doting person but it's. who i am and i don't you know i probably. wouldn't change it but. so this work-life balance i don't. believe it look if you want to run a. business make sure that your wife's on.

board make sure that she understands the. potential sacrifices and make sure you. do and make sure you've got the six. critical success factors. and if all of those are ticks in the box. go for it if there's a lack of ticks in. the box be cautious because there's more. people damaged by going into business. then there is those people that are. pleased that they're dead it's not this. romantic notion oh i'll run my own list. and we'll be wealthy we'll have a lovely.

house and a beautiful car it's not like. that at all it's hardship and graft for. most people. make sure you want it make sure your. wife and family want it. and then if all those boxes it takes. yeah fantastic go full steam ahead and. give everything you've got make it a. success. but just don't get yourself into a huge. mess that you never really. thought that could happen to you. well that's a perfect note to end on and. that's really why i started this podcast. at the end of the day is to shine that.

much more realistic light on the pursuit. of business and being a ceo i want to. thank you for for not just the. inspiration but really also you know as. i got to really dig into the. philanthropic work that you're doing now. it really inspired me and as someone. that has managed to have some relative. success in my life it got me thinking. about the fact that i need to be doing. more and your pledge to you know you. were one of the first britons to pledge. to the linda gates foundation that you'd. be giving away 70 of your wealth in your. life which again inspired me really. really tremendously as a young. entrepreneur and to hear that you found.

such meaning in this philanthropic. charitable work now in the same way that. you did in your business venture again. is tremendously inspiring to me as a. young businessman we have a closing. tradition on the podcast which is the. previous guest asks the next guest a. question. um and i okay. i read it now so this is the first time. i read it when you are older and looking. back on the next chapter of your life. what would it need to include for you to. look back and smile. well firstly i am older.

but when i'm older still it's more of. the same i need to love and respect all. those people around me. i need to change a lot more people's. lives than i'm already doing a heck of a. lot more over the next 10 years if i'm. lucky enough to live that. and. and drive everything forward for the. benefit of people but also make a. success of my businesses so all of that. i'm quite greedy you see. but also probably to get stephen. bartlett to come to my next charity ball.

and take a table and be supportive of. all these children that we help and. bring in some of your amazing clientele. and connections that's a promise okay. thank you so much john appreciate it. [Music]. [Music]. [Music].

[Music]. you.