Oz Pearlman (Mentalist): This Small Mistake Makes People Dislike You! They Do This, They’re Lying!

I've spent three decades. reverse-engineering the human mind to. show you how you can use it to know what. somebody's thinking when they meet you. or if somebody was telling you the truth. or lying. So, let's do something fun. Imagine that in front of you was an. invisible deck of cards. Spread them out. in front of you. And I want you to reach. down and imagine you just grab a card at. random. Now, look at it. Look at me. Okay, close your eyes. Hold your hand. out, please. Now, before you open your. eyes, tell us what was that card? Three. of diamonds. >> Hmm. Open your eyes. Take a look.

And it's not magic. I can teach you. this. And these secrets, these habits, they're applicable all throughout life. Just trust me, you don't want to miss. the rest of this. Oz Pearlman walked. away from Wall Street to become the. world's leading mentalist, unlocking the. skills we need. >> to read people, win trust, spot a liar, and influence anyone. My whole job is to. make you believe that I can read minds, but here is the honest truth. It's. impossible. But, I read people through. small, minute details. For example, we're hardwired from thousands of years.

that if I approach you directly with two. eyes, it can create fear versus if I. turn ever so slightly and approach you. with one eye, that one eye is less. danger. So, it's all about the smallest. little nuances. Like, think of someone. Think of their first name. I got it. Five letters, isn't it? Tell us all, what is their first name? Jules. So, this is a huge tactical advantage when. you ask your boss for a raise or when. you ask someone out on a date. And I'll. explain to you what to do as well as how. you form habits, eliminating that fear. of rejection, and also a fast track for. confidence. But, the next thing is how.

to improve your memory, which is a huge. secret to success. And I have a tip. I've repurposed the instructions on a. shampoo bottle, and the first step is. what 95% of us do wrong. So, I see messages all the time in the. comment section that some of you didn't. realize you didn't subscribe. So, if you. could do me a favor and double-check if. you're a subscriber to this channel, that would be tremendously appreciated. It's the simple, it's the free thing. that anybody that watches this show. frequently can do to help us here to. keep everything going in this show in. the trajectory it's on. So, please do. double check if you subscribed and thank.

you so much because in a strange way you. are you're part of our history and. you're on this journey with us and I. appreciate you for that. So, yeah, thank. you. Oz Pearlman. You're a guy who can apparently read. people's minds. In fact, the book you've. just written is called Read Your Mind, Proven Habits for Success from the. World's Greatest Mentalist. So, for anyone that isn't familiar with. your work and what you do, why did you name your book Read Your.

Mind? And can you. read my mind? So, therein lies the. dilemma. My whole job is to make you. believe that I can read minds, but here. is the honest truth, I can't read minds. I wish I could read minds. That's. impossible. I read people. Very. different skill. This is built on the. world of magic, what I do. Misdirection, influence, suggestion. Knowing how. people think indicates to me what they. think, right? I've spent three decades. reverse engineering the human mind. I'm.

teaching you habits for success because. the skills that I have at reading people. effectively, walking into a room, taking. charge, influencing them, all of the. things surrounding the entertainment. portion are things that apply to. everyone. If you can use these secrets, these habits, they're going to lead you to success in. your personal life, in your professional. life, in your relationships, and that's. what I've done. I think that if I had. done this same playbook and not been a. mentalist, I'd be successful in any. field. They're applicable all throughout. life. You know, I'm pausing for 1 second.

because someone listening to this right. now, I'm always thinking about the. person. there watching us. Mhm. And why should. they be watching me right now? That's my. question. Who cares about me? I don't. know me. They don't know me. Why should. they watch this? I've studied you. That's what I do for a. living and I have something for you. And. on Dragon's Den, I love when you make an. offer. I I the visual of the moment. where you can change someone's life. Right? A founder, you value their. company, you make them an offer. So, this is an offer, but. it's not for now.

You have to stick around till the end. If you open it now, it'll be. meaningless. At the end of this podcast, you're going to open this piece of. paper, and I think it's going to be something. you will talk about for years to come. You know what? Put it somewhere, maybe. right under your mug, where it never. leaves our sight, and we're going to. come back to this later. I'm going to. put it. >> know what this is? It's your future. This is my future. >> 100%. Don't open it yet. You don't want to. know your future yet. >> And why should they stick around and. listen? Oh, because trust me, you don't. want to miss the rest of this. Otherwise, you'll have to see the. highlights. Put it somewhere we see it. the whole time. Okay, so I'll put it.

I'll put it here. Or under your mug, or. anywhere we never lose sight of it. Wonderful. My mug on top of it. For anyone that can't see, cuz there. will be some people listening on audio, he's just passed me a white piece of. folded up card, and I've put it. underneath my mug. It's an offer you can't refuse. Listen, guys, we're not colluding. So, I cuz I. remember watching. I remember watching the Joe Rogan. episode and wondering whether you and. Joe Rogan had colluded. >> Yep. To like do the cuz it blew my mind.

So, my objective today is to be completely. honest with my audience. And also, if I. if I see you do something, do you want me to say it? For sure. Like. you actually want me to say it? >> I mean, I guess so, while I'm here. Okay, fine. Okay. I mean, they trust you. Why do people. listen to you? Great interview. questions, but they trust you. That's. how you build an audience. Yeah, I'd. feel bad if I if I. duped them. And what is it that you. think you know that the average person. doesn't know about the human condition? I know how people think.

So, I think what I learned at a certain. point were skills that are for success. in life. Let me explain to you. The fear. of rejection is something that I think. is the number one factor between failure. and success. It's the fear. Most people. don't try to achieve their goals because. they're fearful of what will happen if. they fail or they set themselves up for. failure instead of for success. What do. I mean by that? When I was 14, I'd walk. up to the restaurant and talk my way. into getting a restaurant gig cuz I've. been doing magic tricks since I was 13.

And I started learning by iterating. What makes people, when I walk up to. them, comfortable with me? What makes. them uncomfortable? I started learning. how. people think. And it's down to the smallest little. nuances. I learned that if I approach. you directly, the same way that animals. fear you when they see two eyes versus. if I turn ever so slightly and approach. your table at an angle, you only see one. eye. We're hardwired from thousands and. thousands of years of avoiding predators. that one eye is less danger. Animals.

aren't as fearful of you. So, I walk up. to you. I create time limits. I learned. quickly that if I walk up, the first. thing someone thinks is, "Oh my god, is. he going to be here long?" The next. thing is, "Do they even know this kid's. working here? Is he any good at this? Oh. god, I need money. Do I have to tip him? I didn't bring cash." All of these. thoughts that go through your mind are. known as heuristics. It's how we deal. with our life every day. And if you can know what somebody's. thinking, not to perform a mentalist. trick, but know what they're thinking. when they meet you or when you ask your. boss for a raise or when you ask a girl.

or a guy out on a date, you knowing that is a huge tactical. advantage. And specifically, how would. you do that? What would you say? What I. would say is in my mind, as a mentalist, what I do most is prepare. I prepare in. advance for what will work, what won't. work, and all the trouble shoots in. between. Plan A, B, C, D all the way to. Z. So, in that situation, every time I. learn something new, I learned quickly. that people didn't know if I was working. at the restaurant. Am I just some kid. who walked up to you? Well, who is this? So, I walk at an angle so they know I. might be leaving soon. I'm one foot in,

I'm one foot out. I would then say to. you, "Did you hear what's going on. tonight? It's your lucky day." Right. away, that's a different thing. That's a. dopamine hit. That's the same way when. your phone buzzes. That's why we're. hooked. Who texted me? What does this. say? Is this a like? Is this a comment? That's that lottery. By me saying to you. a question that denotes positive energy. without a yes or no, you don't have a. way to stop me. If I said, "Hey, do you. want to see me do magic?" No, get out of. here. Boom, we're done. Asking people. questions that are open-ended, that are. inherently positive, almost always.

generates a great response. Did you hear. why it's your lucky night? Oh, why is it. my lucky night? And I say, "The owner. brought me in as a special treat to do. something amazing for you." So now, listen to this. The owner, they know I'm. working there. The owner brought me in. I know the owner. Social value, social. currency. As a special treat. That means. you don't need to pay me money. They've. paid the bill. Amazing. And then to show. you something amazing. So I've given you. no point at which to say no. I've given. you very few angles to think anything.

but positive, and I've done this all in. hopefully less than 10 seconds. That's the intro. Now, you better have. your A game. I better have a trick. that's going to blow them away and. capture their attention. So let's just. pause there for a second because I think. everybody, whether you're a content. creator or you're working in sales or. you're interviewing people. um to join your company, what I what I heard there was you you. created this like positive. curiosity gap. Yes. Where immediate And. that's also what Mr. Beast does at the.

start of his videos. He. >> The hook, instantly. >> Yeah. Yeah, he it's like a positive. curiosity gap where you you need that. gap closed. And you said in that case, they brought me in. Have you heard. what's happening tonight? >> Yep. It's amazing. You brought me in as. a treat to do something amazing. Immediately I need to know what this is. >> What is this? >> And I don't want you to leave. And then. you'd blow them away somehow. >> I blow them away, but the lessons to be. learned from there are things that I've. used for the rest of my life and they. apply so much to today's day and age. where what is the currency of our time? Attention. This very moment that. someone's listening and watching is that.

can allow you to blow up a business. We. have never been in an era where your. phone, having a phone, can allow you to. become a global superstar, to launch a. business. It's It's like. 100 years ago this didn't exist, this. option. So, knowing how to connect with. people on an emotional level, and then. knowing what does your audience want? That's what I learned early on. I'm just. knowing how people think and using that. to entertain them. And how much of it is. based on my body language? How much of. it of it is based on how I behave? Um and I say that because the audience,

you know, that they're all professionals. working in their careers and they're. very keen to better understand people. through observation. >> Sure. Whether it's their team members or. whether it's clients or whoever it might. be. So, I'm wondering if there's. anything I can learn to be a better. observer of the people in my life. Absolutely. So, for my performances, let's break this down. I I'm an. entertainer. That's what I do for a. living. And now, after many years, people ask me, "How do you do it? How do. you do it?" I've realized you don't want. to know how I do it. Uh you don't. really. If I were to guess, let's do. something fun. You have a deck of cards. Let's just sweeten the deal. These are.

your cards, correct? This is not I've. not touched these. There's no magic. trick involved. These are all cards, yes. Here's what I'd like to try for. you. Put them down in front of you, please. You've mixed them up. Do you want to mix. them some more? Yes, I do. Please, mix them as much as. you'd like. Just say that this is I just saw No, don't say a word. Okay. There you go. The moment I touch those cards, my brain. flips a switch and goes, "This is a. magic trick." That's what I know. I know. that archetype. I'm not touching those. cards. I couldn't care less about those.

cards. Imagine that in front of you. instead was an invisible pack of cards, Steven. This is where I changed gears, where years ago I spent hours and hours. learning slight of hand. Pick up the. invisible deck, please. Just pretend. Just like that. And I want you to. spread them out in front of you. Face down. You can't see them. And Steven, you close your eyes. You reach down and here's the part where. we can't collude because they're. invisible and you don't know what you're. about to do, much less me. And I want. you to reach down and And you just grab.

a card at random, face down. Do it for. me now, please. And stop right there. Freeze. Have I told you what to do at this. moment? Have I said anything? Is there. any way that you could know what card. you just picked in your hand or I could. know or any of this? No. No. This is. spontaneous, impulsive, and in the. moment. It's the gold standard for what. I do. Don't say a word. Look at it. Look at. me. Just think. The cards are red, they're black. There's the hearts, the diamonds, the. clubs, and the spades. There's the. number cards, there's the big cards. Ace, two, three, four, five, six, seven,

eight, nine, 10, Jack, Queen, King. Close your eyes. That's it. I'm going to take these cards. that are next to you. Oops, sorry. And I'd like you to keep your eyes. closed if you don't mind. And this is. not a card trick, but I want a visual. for your eyes. Hold your hand out, please. And hold it as if you're holding one. card in your hand. Keep your eyes. closed. Do not open them. I'm going to place one card in your. hand. Close your fingers and freeze. right there. Before you open your eyes, tell us.

what was that card? The. three of diamonds. Hm. Open your eyes. Take a look. Hm. Hm. It's very It is very, very difficult for. me to understand how you do that. Now, here is the question. So, I tell. you this, if I were to teach you that, you could do it. It would take you quite. some time, and you'll learn, and it was. a narrowing down of a lot of options.

into one, which is a lot of what I do. I. limit your options, and I read what you. are giving off, cuz there's no magic. trick. There's no sleight of hand. involved in this. Are we in agreement? This is an invisible deck. You took out. a card. Let's put these away. But, here's where I would say what's. applicable is knowing how to read people. more effectively in your life, not for. the sake of a trick, but knowing what. they're actually thinking. Now, if. you're watching this and you said you're. a business person, you want a tangible. takeaway for body language. You ask. yourself, was there a body language. thing? Was there something that you did.

specifically? Was there a flex of an. arm? Was there a twinge of an eyebrow? Was there something that you can see? There are definitely markers, but what I. would describe to people is for a lot of. people they want to know a core thing. Is someone interested? Yes or no? And is. someone lying? Yes or no? If you could. know those two things, I think that. opens up a world of possibilities. How. many major moments of your life had to. do with if somebody liked or was. interested in what you were doing, be it. in sales or business or or personal, or. somebody was telling you the truth or. lying. The best way to learn if somebody's.

lying to you. is learning their benchmarks. Let me. explain to you what that means. Meeting. somebody one time, it's very hard to. know things about them. One-time. transactions, you can't really gauge who. they are as a person. But how many. people in your life do you meet once? Few. Most of people you meet, you meet. often. So, a lie detector machine, have. you ever been lie detector machines? >> Never. So, the way they work is they. have to ask you questions beforehand to. set. your your your benchmarks. They have to. check and they see tell me an honest.

answer, is your name Steven Bartlett? Yes. They look at your indicators to see. what honesty looks like. And then they look to see, tell me a. lie. And now they try to compare the two. to each other. So, what I do when I. watch people and observe is I try to see. what do they look like when they're. telling me the truth. And these are fun things you could try. at home. See when somebody tells you a. story, how many details do they insert? What's their cadence? Right? How do they speak? You can tell. when people are lying more often than. not if you observe them often. You can.

see it. Do they add more details? So, you can try to find fun ways that seem. to be white lies to see. what do they do when they lie versus. what do they do when they tell the. truth? And then start to trust your. instincts more. I think a lot of things that I do, I've. unlearned bad habits. I think that when we were growing up, most of us had much better BS systems. When you're two, three, four, you know if your sibling's lying to you. You know if people are lying to you very. well. You're kind of very young and.

there's an instinct involved that I. think is akin to when I play ping pong. I can't think about my shot. I just do. the shot. I don't know how I did it. My. body just goes into motion. So, when I'm. performing, I am the way People always. ask me, "Are you doing this in every. moment of your life?" No, it's tiring. I'm focused, hyper-focused on what. you're doing, and the things that I'm. watching that will give away certain. elements. And I'm influencing you, there's misdirection, and I'm guiding. you in a certain position in a certain. way to what I want you to select. Let's.

say I was trying to sell you something. Sure. I'm I'm We're doing a. presentation. I'm a marketing agency. owner owner, and I would like you to buy. this marketing campaign from me um. instead of this one or no campaign. >> Sure. So, what are some things you could tell me. that I should be thinking about or doing. if I'm selling. to you to make you buy what I would like. you to buy? Number one rule, I call this. channeling your inner mentalist. It's. not about you, it's always about them.

That's been the number one secret to my. success. I shouldn't have been I've been on all. different networks doing what I do. On. CNBC, I've been on there dozens of. times. That's the financial network. How. many other magicians or mentalists have. ever been on that network? Zero. It doesn't make sense. That's a. serious network. They do finance. Why. are they bringing me on? Because I. tailor my presentations to the viewer. I. don't think about myself. A card trick. is about me. Me doing something related. to stocks and bonds and and dividends. and interest rates, that is fascinating.

to the person watching. The same way if. I go into a room with football players, I make everything structured on. football. So, I challenge you that when. you make a presentation like that, are. you just thinking about you? Or where. can you highlight the attributes of what. is this person missing? What's wrong. with what their status quo is? What are. you missing? Listen to your Listen to. your consumer. Listen to your client. Listen to your audience. They will tell. you. They will give you the answers to. what you need to give back to them. So. many people when they approach someone. else, they approach with the following.

How great am I? How great is my product? Bum bum bum. It's all about me me me. This needs to be benefits oriented. language. All of it should be you. I. want to make your life easier. I want to. make this migration to our platform. seamless. What's currently bothering. you? I want to know all the things that. you are that are your moments of. resistance. What's resisting you from. saying yes? And every time you tell me. one, I want to be prepared to check that. off. That's so funny you mentioned that. It's I know you want no downtime. Here's. how we can ensure no downtime, right? You want to anticipate what they're.

going to say the same way a mentalist. does, but in this case, you're not. guessing cards or numbers or names. You're guessing the thoughts of what's. keeping them from buying your product. And is that practice per se do you like. if this was. you know, if I was pitching to you and. you're the CEO of Uber Yep. and I want. you to work with my agency. Before I go. into that meeting, you know, you talked. about preparation earlier on. Do you. write down. or just think about the rebuttals or the. person that you're you're contending.

with and then try and tailor the. presentation to a set of sort of. ideological ego factors that that that. you believe that person's coming into. the room with? >> Right. So, I write down everything. Literally. at one chapter in that book is all about. how taking notes has changed my life. So, at every show and through every. interaction that I ever have with. somebody, I write down. I had a show. last night, a show the night before. I. will write down I have a shorthand to. make it quicker, but I will write down. everything that I did, everybody that I. met, things that I remember about them,

and I will do this immediately when I. finish the show. If I might have a meet. and greet and photos, the moment it's. done, you'll sometimes see me in an. Uber, in my hotel, and I'm writing. furiously everything while it's still in. my mind and fresh because information is. power and the number one thing that. people care about is themselves, their. family, their friends, their career, right? All of us are the star of our own. movie. You're the star of your movie. I'm the star of my movie. Right here the. person man in the camera star everybody. else is supporting cast. So think of it.

this way, if you can remember things. about that person, not creepy, what if. they told you something? Last night I. met somebody, she has two children. They're three and five. Her oldest son. absolutely loves this one YouTube star. They live I know where they live. Like. she just shared a lot of details with me. that in her mind. are kind of like Snapchats. They. vanished. They didn't vanish to me. So. now that I've written those down, I. might see her in a month, in a year, in. a decade. Do you know how great that feeling is to. somebody when you remember things they.

told you? It's like winning the lottery. It's literally like you get to do a. magic trick like I do, but people give. you credit. I will remember at shows. who hired me for this show. Oh, they. know this person. Now we have a chain. We have a referral link. I might see. them again. I guessed their ATM PIN code. 3 years ago. It was 6124. I now know. that. I bump into them there and I don't. have a supernatural memory. Another part. of the book is how to improve your. memory, which I think is also a huge. secret to success in life that people. don't realize. We have phones now. We.

think our phone does it for us. That's. not true. And I say to him, I go, "John, I sure hope you changed that PIN code. from 6124." He is blown away. Steven, do. you want to know something? That's not a. trick. I wrote it down. There's no I'll. tell you exactly how I did it. All I did. was take the time to review it before I. got there and made him feel special. And. do you know what he's going to do? He's. going to talk about that moment. for years to come. I've created a. memory. If you can create memorable. moments for others, they will remember. you and they will spread the word to.

others and that's how you whatever you. do in life what you do for others is. what's going to eventually propel you to. success. I would say give gratuitously, but the more gratuitous you give, there's this funny way in the world. where the universe bounces back, and the. more I do for others, they want to do. the same for me. If you were to make. that really practical for me, so you. have a short hand book which you write. in every time you meet someone, keep. details. >> You could do it on your phone. Yeah. I. do it on my phone. So, I have calendar. entries. Let's be very clear. Let's give. you brass tacks. I will write in I have. If you look at my phone right now, the. event last night, setlist. I wrote down.

the name of the host, his wife, they. have three children, they have twins, like everything I felt this is very. fresh in my mind, and I'll remember it. for a day, but then it will kind of de-. it will dissipate. Which tricks did I. do? What happened in the tricks? What. were funny moments that were off the. cuff? Who did I meet earlier that day? I. met somebody, and again, I'm writing all. this stuff down because that information. is power. That information, the longer. you hold it, it's a coupon with no. expiration date. And when you serve it. up to that person, in fact, it's the. reverse. The longer you hold on to it, the more impressive it is. Mhm. If I met.

you yesterday, and you told me your. favorite color is magenta, and I say it. to you tomorrow, not that exciting. But. in 2 years, if when I meet you, and we. see a car I go, "Steve, that's your. favorite color magenta, isn't it?" Not. as a trick, just there in your mind, dopamine. How did you remember that? You're touched that I remember that. about you. Right? That's what people care about. People Think about it again. Their. family, their friends, their faith, their business, all of. that. The more that you can make someone. else shine,

the better it happens to you. Everything. is about when I. My whole act is geared towards making. other people look good. I was thinking. about this. quite a lot, and I actually posted on my. LinkedIn this morning about the paradox. of small things. Um. and what I said in the post, it's. reflecting on Jimmy Fallon. I was on his. show this week, and he mentioned that we. have this tradition at the end of the. podcast with the guest. It's a small. thing that we do at the end of the the. show. And the fact that he. remembered it. and told his audience about it, and he.

said he brought him to tears. Made me. realize that actually the small things. in life that we often overlook like. remembering someone's name or as you. said their family or some sort of. intricate personal detail, they're so powerful because most people. don't think they matter. That's it. >> So when one person in your life. remembers a tiny detail about you that. kind of matters to you, even your name. is something that matters to you, it's so shockingly rare that it's so. shockingly powerful because most people. think it's so unbelievably petty.

And this is the I think the paradox of. small things that they're actually in. fact really big things. Well, think. about how many small things, if you were. to look at your life and just have these. little roads, these like fork in the. road where one path led to this and I. have those moments where in my life. where somebody said one thing to me, sometimes offhanded, they don't even. remember it, and it changed the course. of my life. And those like little moments, I had one. So I worked on Wall Street. I didn't. think that you could be a magician or. mentalist. It's crazy. That it never. even occurred to me as an option. But at.

one point, I had I There's two moments, but one of the big ones is I'm doing. something for the CFO of my company, Merrill Lynch. He does not know that I. work for the company and I used to do. this magic trick with slight of hand. where I take five $1 bills, I hold them, I snap, they turn to hundreds. Amazing. It's It's great trick. And at that. moment, he's an Australian guy and he. goes He goes He goes, "We need you. working here, mate." And everyone laughs. and you know, it's it's a it's a joke. I've heard a hundred times, a thousand. times. And I go, "It's funny, sir. I do. work here." And he thought it was a.

joke. I broke character a little. I go, "No, no, seriously. I work at 95 Green. at your Global Technology Services. Department." And he looked at me, he. goes, "What are you doing working here?" And. that moment to him, I assume, was. nothing. It was forgotten moments later. But that moment changed the course of my. life because there was like a switch in. my mind that goes, "What am I doing working here?" You. know, where you kind of like can. visualize your future? Is this my path? Is this what I'm going to do forever? Or. am I going to decide that you live one. life and I'm going to go for it? And I. think for a lot of people who are.

listening to this, I'm not saying to. quit your job, but ask yourself, look in. the mirror, is this what I want to be. doing? And I think for a lot of people. they might want more, whether that's. their own business, whether it's to. climb the rung of a ladder, and it's. that moment that somebody can change. your life and take action, and decide. I'm going to do it, but also formulate a. plan, be effective and smart in your. execution. And in your case, you know, leaving Merrill Lynch to go and become a. mentalist is quite quite a leap. A huge. leap. Everyone thought I was crazy. Same. with Derren Brown, you No, no one said. to me, "Oh, this is a great idea." Even.

though I've got to tell you the truth, most people were very happy for me, but. behind closed doors, I think they. thought, "This kid, you know, he's. nuts." Well, you kind of were nuts, because statistically, probabilistically, the chance of you. becoming. a quote-unquote successful mentalist is. extremely low. >> Extremely low. I mean, like there's there's probably. like a handful of mentalists that earn. a lot of money. I would say it's a very. low number, but here's the question you. should ask yourself, why not you? That. like the framing of that is always Of.

course there's statistics, but why not. me? And so, I think the way you think in. your mind, the voice in your head that. tells you that loop, determines things. So, it's all about setting yourself up. for success rather than failure. How. much of being a mentalist is. understanding human behavior versus. >> Everything. I don't even know how to. answer it. It's literally that's that's. I'm a student of the human like how. people behave. But in the the practice. of it, cuz Derren Brown is I consider. him a friend. And if anything I've. learned from him, and I do think he's. the most incredible person on and off. camera, it's that.

much of his work is making you think the. trick is happening here. >> 100%. But actually, the trick is. happening happening over here, and he's. misdirecting you to focus on my left. hand, and the trick is taking place in. my right hand. That's I couldn't be more. true. That's exactly it, but that's that. is knowing human behavior. >> Explain to me why. I don't want to say. controlling, cuz it sounds very devious, but I'm controlling your attention and. your thoughts. I'm guiding you in a certain way. to either select what I'd like or to. give away something that you feel you.

have not given away. Should we Should we do a fun example? >> Sure. Do you know off the top of your head how. many episodes you've had of this show? I. think it's roughly 500. I believe so. Close your eyes. I want to make this a. visual game. You're in this room of all different. people that you've looked at, you've. seen, that you respect. Okay? Some of. them could have been guests on the show. And then. you get a tap on the shoulder. You turn. around. You look at this person. And it's somebody you've met before, 100%.

And they say something to you. They've. said it to you before, and you get deja. vu, and it's something impactful. It. left an impression on you. Is that a. fair assessment? >> Yeah. And that inherently right there, boom, that makes you think of another person. I don't know whether. I don't think they mentioned this other. person, but something about that. takeaway or that that thought or that. moment of clarity or wisdom made you. think of someone else in your life. It. was connected to them. This next person, person number two I'm calling, they. jumped over. Open your eyes. When was. the last time you had spoken to that. person? The person number two? Yeah.

Um. today. Today. Okay, let's let's lean. into this. Think of their first name. Count the letters to yourself. Don't say it. Yeah. And somebody you know well, you've. spoken to them today. I watched your. eyes. You went up, up, up, up, up, up. Five letters, isn't it? Yeah. You asked me how I do it. You said, "Do. I study people?" You just gave it away. yourself.

There's five letters to choose from. There's 26 in the alphabet. Pick any letter in this person's first. name. Mix them up a little. Yeah. And. then you grab one out, and you just. decide this is the letter I want to. focus on. Yeah. Now, knowing you, knowing you as an entrepreneur, knowing you, the way you give. interviews, I think I know what you. would want to do. Knowing that you know Derren Brown, you. know how some of this works. So, your. instinct was to go against your instinct. cuz you go, I know this would be. obvious. You didn't think of the first. letter, did you? No. You didn't want to. You thought that would give it away. Yeah. Because once I know that, it's. easier to figure out the rest. And then.

I know there's vowels in the name. And. so, inherently you said, that limits my subset. You didn't do a. vowel, did you? No. L, are you thinking of an L? No. I got it. It's funny because by you saying no, it. means you gave away both. I've written this down. Can you close. your eyes? For the viewers who are. watching this as a video, I'm going to. show them. And for everybody else to know who's. just listening in their headphones while. running or doing something, this can't.

change what I wrote down. Open it up. Open it up to your You thought of an S, but switched from the L. Is that. correct? Tell us all, what is their. first name? Jules. Jules. Mhm. Working in the sales team at a startup. can be a strange experience because one. month you're chasing leads like the. future of the business depends on it, which often it does, and then the next. month you're buried in them. Pressure. builds up and eventually it starts. clouding your judgment. Then you end up.

making a reactive decision instead of an. informed one. Our sponsor, Pipedrive, is. the number one CRM tool for small to. medium businesses, made by sales people. for sales people. It helps you get. brutally clear on exactly where your. focus should be. It shows you what. opportunities have stalled and what is. worth your time and focus. And my team. have been using the new Pipedrive. Prospector tool, which uses AI to search. through over 400 million profiles to. find verified decision makers and shares.

their contact information with you. So, if you're interested in learning more, head to pipedrive.com/ceo, where you can get a 30-day free trial. And that's just for my audience. pipedrive.com/ceo. So, it's time to join the 100,000. companies that are already using. Pipedrive by going to pipedrive.com/ceo. now. You know, you walk into rooms and people. hear that you're a mentalist, so they're. already like somewhat on edge. Yeah. And. you can see you can see that they're on. edge, right? >> Yeah, you got to sweeten it because It's. how do you What do you do about that?

Cuz everywhere you go, people are going. to be like, "Fuck this guy. He might be. able to guess my You know, that's what. they're thinking. They're thinking he. can guess my bank pin, so I'm going to. give nothing away." So, you must be. meeting people that are like closed off. your entire life. How do you get them to. go from closed to open up? I think it's. being likable. So, this Think about it. If you met somebody who could really. read your mind, and I can't read minds. Just I want to be clear throughout the. process cuz people say, "Oh, what's he. trying to teach?" I can't read minds. I'm not psychic. I am not supernatural. I don't claim to be. You could do this. Maybe not as well because I think.

there's an inherent talent. Just same as. musical talent. I can't play a guitar. I. can't sing to save my life. No matter. how much training you give me, I will. never have the voice of Harry Styles or. Ed Sheeran. It's not in the cards for. me. But, you're tricking me to think. that my eye movements played a role. >> So, I will tell you this. I am tricking. you to believe that certain things are. more important than others. Your eye. movements and body language play a role, but whether it played a 10% role, a 50%. role, 100% role, that's 100% true. My.

job is to misdirect you and to use. multiple methods Yeah. so that as soon. as you go down a path and you think you. got me, I jump to the next lane. I do it a. different way. There's also a. possibility that 0% of. that trick you just did was about my. eyes. I I didn't say it was about your. eyes though, did I? You said you looked. up the 1 2 3 4 5 letters of. >> true. Try for yourself though. Honestly, try for yourself. How many letters. somebody counts,

if they have a long name, it takes. longer to process. You aren't going to. be able to use a name and counting the. number of letters in your day-to-day. life. >> Mhm. So, if I were to show you how to do. it, you were to attempt it, and you were. to get it right 75% of the time, which. you'd be shocked that you would, you'd. then go, "Now what?". Who cares? Most of you are not going to. take and spend the next decades learning. mentalism. Rather, I'm going to try and. take the most important parts of. mentalism and show you how you can use. them. Another huge one is just. confidence. How do people build. confidence? When I was 14 and I started.

doing this, was I this hyper-confident. teenager? No. My folks just got. divorced. My life was pretty tumultuous. I think I did this as a way to not have. to deal with all of the trauma and kind. of sadness. And confidence gets built. over time. So, what's a better way to. fast-track that? For a lot of people, you walk into a room, you have to give a. presentation, are you nervous as hell? I think most. people would say yes. Would you agree to. that? What can you do tomorrow to get in there. and feel like you own the room, the same.

way I go on TV for a million people, or. right now for millions? I think there's. so much of it has to do with there's a. panic that we have in us, where we take. and we fear a certain feeling, which is. I have certain things that I dread. doing. Like, let's say I have to call. someone and give a call of things I. don't want to say. I have to I have to. turn someone down for something. I I. hate that. I'm avoiding it at all. lengths, the same way you procrastinate. things you don't want to do. I have this little trick in my mind, where what I do is I ask myself, "What.

will I feel like tomorrow about this?". What will I feel like tomorrow? What if. I could fast-forward my feelings to. tomorrow? And instead of just, you know, up in the air, try it. Right now, what's. something that you, the listener, don't. want to do? You don't want to call. someone, you don't want to deliver bad. news. You know this person's about to. ream you out. You're avoiding it at all. costs. You're moving it in your calendar. to tomorrow, the next You keep doing. that. Do it now. And I want you to set an alarm 24 hours. from now. Put it in your in your I'm not. I'm for real. Put an alarm that says.

tomorrow. Write down how you feel about. this. Scale of one to 10. Right when you finish the call, you're. going to feel in the dread before you're. going to feel an eight, nine, 10 of. dread. The next day when the alarm goes. off, ask yourself, how do I feel? Most. of the time you feel nothing. Two or. three. It's out of sight, out of mind. So, what if you could trick your brain. the same way I tricked you to think your. eye movements have anything to do with. it? Trick your own brain to see how you. feel a day from now. You feel nothing. So, what if you can just start doing. that to yourself? Rewire your brain and.

say, "I'm going to feel nothing in a. day. Screw it. I'm going to do it now.". And just that trick of getting over. procrastination. builds a tremendous amount of. confidence. Another one is I would walk. up to tables and people would kick me. out. They'd be like, "Get out of here. Go do kid." They wouldn't pay attention. to me. Things that would hurt my. feelings. So, what I did is I created in. my mind some way where I have two. separate personalities. This guy was Oz. the entertainer, Oz the magician, now Oz. the mentalist. This guy was Oz Pearlman. They don't.

know the real me. That's a different. guy. So, when I walked up to a table and. got turned down or rudely rejected, instead of me feeling that pain in. myself, I pushed it somewhere else. And I go, "You know what? They didn't like Oz the. entertainer. That's a different guy. That's not me." And so, the same way. that if you took right now a bowl of. water right here and we poured salt in. the water, it's salt water. But, what if. we could take an invisible small piece. of plastic and put it right down the. center. And now you pour all the salt in.

one side. This side is immune. This is. fresh water. If you can do that in your. own mind, the same way that I use my. tricks to trick your mind, trick your. own mind. That will take away the sting cuz so. many of us we don't go after our goals. because we're scared of what happens if. they don't work out. It's all about. accountability. You fear the rejection. And if you can get over that, it is a. superpower in life. The same way you. asked me, how did you know it was going. to work? Because I stopped thinking. about it not working. And people that. have that singular focus on making.

something work, those are the. entrepreneurs. Those are the people that. you see achieve. Those are the athletes. Those are the people who have a hyper. fixation and focus on a goal that they. will make it happen. They manifest it. And what about communication, your. communication style, and how important. that is? Like, what what what are you. thinking about when you're communicating. as an entertainer to make sure people. are paying attention and they're. engaged? Be watching the audience all. the time. The audience never lies. So, you have to really assess what the. audience is throwing at you. And I'm. seeing people, and I'm seeing are they.

interested? Are they on the edge of. their seat? Are they leaning forward? Indicators of interest. Are they sitting. back and checking their watch? Are they. yawning? Obviously, you can't do this. with everybody. When I'm in a room with. a thousand people, maybe one guy's. hungover. Maybe their baby didn't sleep. last night and they had a red-eye. flight. I can't know everyone, but I can. watch individuals and see how they're. reacting to me, and I can quickly change. and pivot and see how I can continue. keeping their attention. And if I was. listening to this right now, am I. turning it off? Am I fast-forwarding? Am.

I getting tangible takeaways? If I get. three things from this that I can put. into action tomorrow, this is a smash. success. Because if I get one thing that. somebody says to me, like one tidbit. that they say, I feel like that can. change your life, then take action. I'm. all about action because I think in so. many instances, there's no. accountability. Inspiration and. motivation is garbage. I could care less. if I've inspired you. I want action. What is your goal? Do you want to lose. weight? Do you want to make a certain.

amount of money? Are you making a. million dollars next year? Is that. really going to make you happy? So, a. lot of the time we make goals that we. think of, but then we get them, you. know, I have made more money in the last. 10 years than if you'd asked me 10 years. ago I dreamt possible. Does that make. you happy? It makes life easier, but I. don't think it's just pure fulfillment. I know a lot of people that are very, very wealthy, and they aren't happy. I'm around a lot of wealthy people. It's. just the nature of my thing. And And I. ask myself, they're billionaires, and if. this isn't making you happy, what is? I.

don't think that money is always the. goal that you should attain. I. understand why I didn't have a lot of. money as a kid, so that was like a. barometer of success for me. But as I. have kids, and as I see that life is. short and feel my mortality, I realize. some things are much more important than. money. But if you have a goal, let this. be the cue not to inspire you, but to. literally take action. Right now, what. is it that you want to do? I Somebody. talked to me the other day and said, "Man, I love watching you run. I would. love to run." Stop. Start running. Tomorrow, put a reminder in your.

calendar. Literally, tomorrow, my first. run. Then put one 30 days from now to make. sure you're accountable, and then decide. what makes you accountable. For me, I. don't like to be embarrassed. So, I'm. going to write to 10 people that I know. and tell them I'm signing up for a 10K. So that now, if I don't go through with. it, it's going to come up in a future. conversation, and they're going to say, "Hey, Steve, whatever happened with the. 10K?" Now, I have to eat humble pie with. 10 different people and say to them, "You know what? I didn't do it." Oh. Oh,

okay, you didn't do it. I want that to. be my motivator. Maybe your motivator's. internal, maybe it's external, but find. what motivates you and use those levers. to generate action. You know, in your. profession, a lot of the like with. Derren Brown, a lot of it is he'll make. you think that like we said earlier, like it's it's my right hand, but. actually it's my left. >> Yep. How Like how do you contend with. being someone who whose job it is to. sort of misdirect me, to make me think. it's my right hand, not my left, or. whatever,

but then also. trying to give people information that. will make them successful in their. lives? >> Right. Well, the ethics of it. Like the. >> trying to sell you anything about being. a mind reader or a mentalist. This is a. separate pursuit. The skills surrounding. everything I do, those skills, it's like How to Win. Friends and Influence People. It's a. book I've read over and over and over. It's. It's I don't want to say it's dated, but. it's of a different era. The skills that allowed me to reach near. the top of my profession aren't the.

tricks. There's other people that can do. that. There's other people that can do. this. There's other people that can. guess your card. So, what led me to. here? Do I do it better than them? I'll let you decide that. My secrets to success are the exact same. ones you can apply to your life. That's. the key. The fact that I've made it. about them, not me. How have I been on all these TV shows? How have I had such a wide diversity? Has nothing to do with performing. It. has to do with me turning the mirror. around. The moment you realize that you. will be successful in your life when you. start making other people the star,

thinking about them, thinking about. what's going on in their head. That's. true mentalism. What are they thinking. and how do I deliver on that? How do I. make them look good? How do I make them. like me more? How do I win them over? So, that when the moment comes for them. to recommend somebody or to give them a. raise or do something, they know that. you're the person that they think of. first. And I think those skills, again, I wouldn't It's not really. mentalism, but it's the exact same tools. that I use. It's not guessing numbers or. names. It's knowing how to influence. others.

And if I wasn't able to influence. people, none of the things I just did. would work. You would just say, "No, I'm. not going to do that.". On the skill of listening, which I I. think is also so important to what. you're saying there about being likable. and winning people over, do you have a system or a framework for. being a great listener? You talk about. it a little bit in the book near the. end. I think you have five ways to. become a better active listener. Yes. Can you run me through those? Sure. Should I give you a funny story? Should. I kind of lead this off? So, I did a. party for Steven Spielberg. Yeah. Um it.

was his father's 90th birthday. It was. pretty intimate affair. I was noticeably nervous in my mind, not. for the performance, but to meet Steven. Spielberg. So, he defined an era of my. childhood and I feel like likely for a. billion or several billion other people. So, at the end of the show, he comes up. to thank me, and I'm I'm ready. I was. able to ask Steven Spielberg. zero questions. Do you know why? He. talked to me the whole time. He kept. asking me questions, rapid-fire this and. about my life and about what drove me.

and this and I just wanted to keep being. like, "Pause. I got questions for you. You're Steven Spielberg." He made it all. about me. All about me, and I learned that that. day that that it's a greater power to. listen, and that the most interesting. person in a room. tends to be the most interested person. in the room. And that some of the people. I've seen that are the most successful, the most authentic and genuine, they. will look you in the eye, they will lock. in, they will not be looking around at. other people, and they will give you. their 100% undivided attention,

and they will ask you questions that. other people haven't asked you before. And I challenge you, don't just do the. normal question when you meet somebody. Oh, what do you do for a living? Oh, what. We, as soon as we do that, we go into. autopilot. I go into autopilot, and I'm. not judging you. Most people do that, right? 50% of. people have to be below average, right? And And 49.9% are above average. That's. inherently the va-. Challenge yourself to be the outlier, and think of a question you can ask. someone if you have time to. think of it in advance or in the moment.

that throws them out of autopilot, that. makes them think, "Wow, I haven't really. thought of that before." Asking. questions that are not yes or no. questions are also great. Ask questions. that let them explore who they are. I. think that's a big part of active. listening. And I let the audience guide. me. to what's of interest to them. When we walked in here today, I said to. think of a favorite. of of a category. If I knew the. category, would I be able to guess what. the answer was?

No. What is the question? You know what? Uh. tell it to me. I don't even want I don't. want to write anything down. I want you. to just say it out loud. Give me the. question. What is the question that you. have defined the answer to? Give me that. question. Ask it to me. What is my. favorite car. What is my favorite car? Yeah. And you think there's no way I could. know that. No prior research could have alerted me. to it. No prior research, no. You decide, the same way that you do. with jewels, I want you. to think of the name of the car, whether. it's the brand, whether it's the make,

and I want you. to pick. one letter. out from anywhere. From From I is I'm. assuming it's more than one word unless. you just said Ford. I Again, I don't. want to lead you, but if it is more than. one word, and if it's two, three, four words, decide on one of the words. Have you. decided on one of the words? Yeah. Oh, one of the words. >> Don't say another word. Now, you just. saying that was interesting. Decide on. one of the words Yeah. and pick one of. the letters, something interesting to. you. Grab the one letter and just focus.

on that one letter. Yeah. You have it? >> Yeah. Now you ask me. You said, "It's all. misdirection, right? The eye movements, that this is all just window dressing.". But you just gave something away. You said, "One of the words.". with a question. Because you were confused. You didn't. know what to do. if there was only one word. I would. never have said that if it was three. words. Why would it be one of the words? Of course it's one of the words. So you. did one, and then I think.

this one went through your head. You. read You went to the last Did you think. of the last letter. of it? No. Okay. So that would have been my. first guess. But now that you didn't, I'm going to go back. Are you thinking of the letter Y? No. Maserati, Ferrari, Lamborghini. It's not. like you. Close your eyes.

>> Open your eyes. I've written it down. I. can't change my mind. What car is it? It's uh it's my. Cybertruck. It is your Cybertruck. That's what I. thought it would be. Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking of the letter T. T?

I did it originally think of Y. You did? Yeah, and then I moved to to T. Yeah. If I got it right every time, it would. be a magic show. So, sometimes when you perform, you. things must go wrong sometimes. >> It depends like what level they go wrong. at what scale. Yeah. If it goes just. destructively, like catastrophically. wrong, it's not always good. >> Tell me a time when it went. catastrophically wrong. >> Oh, so you can dig up old TV appearances. uh from 15 years ago where just, you. know, it purely I started learning that.

if you do something linear, which is if. I. show you my hand and tell you where this. is going, then you have the power. What do I mean. by that? If I said, "I'm going to guess. this,". and then I get it wrong, then you know I. got it wrong. Mhm. What if you don't. know the ending of the movie? Then if I. show you an alternate ending, you don't. know that the movie wasn't supposed to. end that way. So, I learned early on. that I'm not going to let you hold the. cards. I hold the cards. So, when you. even the the the notion of get it wrong. means you knew what making it getting it. right was. Does that make sense?

>> Yeah. But what if you don't know what. getting it right was because I'm. doing so many different things at once. that I will eventually find a way to get. it right. Mhm. You see what I mean? Yeah. And have you learned any ways to break. the ice in social situations? You talk I. think you talk about You do, you talk. about this a little bit in the book, but. um you you one of the ways that you. talked about is object sort of handling. the objection that you're assuming one. has, approaching from a different angle. But just generally in life when you meet. these people and you're trying to disarm. people. >> Yes. is there anything else that is.

worth knowing there that people can use. for that in their everyday lives? I like. having an inner monologue out loud. So, I like to take things that I know. everyone is thinking and. open up, show some vulnerability. So, a. great way you're in an uncomfortable. social setting, what do you want to do? You want to shut down. You want to be. here? I think walking up to somebody has. a real power and say. "I'm so nervous. I don't know anyone. here. Do you know anyone here?" Like, that moment of opening yourself up and I. don't want to call it oversharing cuz. some people take that to too much of a. degree and start you know, telling you.

too much, but showing that you are a. real person and vulnerable, I think just. it's a it's a magical quality. And I've. had people that do it to me that you. gain an intimacy and a familiarity with. them very quickly that you wouldn't have. if you were just small talking each. other. Have you ever met those people. that have that instant charisma that. when they walk in the room everyone. gravitates towards them? And you don't. know what that is. What is that quality. they have? Did they train it? Is it. innate? Are they born with it? Um for me, I didn't have that. So, I. cheated and started doing magic tricks.

I remember Jimmy Carr saying to me that. you know, people think comedians are. depressed whatever, but he said a better. question to ask is. always who are you trying to cheer up? Right. And I wonder if that's relevant at all. to your situation. I think I was trying to connect with. people. Yeah. I think that I was. nervous, a little bit awkward. I wasn't. introverted. I had no problem with. walking up to strangers, but I think that it became this. just uh this addiction Mhm. to watching.

people. being amazed and overjoyed in the. reactions. I live for the reactions. Some people. that do magic, they do it for. themselves. And in a guilty way, I kind. of do as well because there is a selfish. angle to seeing reactions, but to me. it's more the joy. And to this day, what. I like to say that I do for a living is. not deceive. My job is not to fool you. My job is to create memorable moments. Not amazing moments. Amazing is a. subset, memorable. Because if I amaze. you and you forget it, I have failed. I.

failed. It's the same as if I walk into. a movie that's an action movie. I eat a. lot of popcorn. I walk out. 10 minutes. later you say to me, "What was the movie. about?" I don't know. Right that I don't. know. And a month later you ask me, "Have you seen that movie?" And I go, "Did I see that movie?" That right. there, that response, is the death for. what I do, apathy. And in in the book in. page 166 you talk about improving one's. memory. >> Yes. What do I need to know? Why does it. matter to improve my memory? And in what. way does improving my memory help me to.

connect with other people? So, we've. gotten to the point where we don't need. our memory, right? A lot of people don't. know how to drive to a place, a city. next door. They literally with if GPS. went out, good luck, right? You don't. know anyone's phone numbers. How many of. your friends' phone numbers do you have. memorized? Few and far between. One. >> Exactly. Tomorrow, your iPhone goes. away, no no no Apple, no cloud, you're. screwed. You're screwed, am I right? If. you can't get that back, your life is. So, what do we need our memory for? I.

think memory is a superpower because no. one expects you to have it anymore. Years ago you needed Now you don't. So, I'm going to give a great example, one. that I have in my book, which is. something applicable where you can't. cheat. Cheat is I have my phone and I. feel a lot of us, whether we're parents. or kids or teenager or any of stage of. life you are, you're going to meet new. people at some point soon. You meet. them, you shake their hand, you say. hello. You just forgot their name. Literally. they just said it to you. and you forgot it. How many times has. this occurred to you? I'm guessing.

numerous. And now you can't enjoy that. conversation because all you do is feel. dread. Now you're looking for someone. around that you know to introduce them. and pray to God you go, "This is Steven. Say hello." Like tell him your name, you. know, you want that moment. So, I have a. a a. a tip for that specific situation as. well as others for memory. But I've repurposed the instructions on. a shampoo bottle, so it sticks in your. head. Shampoo bottles have three words. on the back. Lather, rinse, repeat. Right? Lather makes your hair smell.

good. Rinse cleans your hair. Repeat, we. got to sell more Pantene Pro-V. So, we all know that. Everyone knows. lather, rinse, repeat. I will describe. it as this. Listen, repeat, reply. Listen, repeat, reply. So easy. The. first step sounds silly. It's comical. Why am I even saying this? The first. step is what 95% of us do wrong. We. don't actually listen. When you hear that person's name, it's. not a memory issue. You never even knew. the name to begin with because right.

when you walked up to them, just like a. computer, read-write, very hard to read. and write at the same time for our. brains. You were thinking of something. else. You were thinking of what you were. going to say back to them in most. instances. So, at that moment, the. number one thing to do is actually. listen. Quiet your mind. So simple, so. easy, but that's where we screw up. Right when I walk up to you, I make sure. that I've heard your name because I. instantly repeat it. twice. Steven, is it Steve or Steven? I. want to make sure. I've just said your.

name three times. Already your chance of. forgetting it have gone down. dramatically. The last one is reply, which is use one of the three following. tactics. One, you could learn how to spell it. You. have a name that can be spelled. So, I. go, "Is it Steven with a V or a PH?" And. you with a V, I go, "I like Steven with. a V better. That's the right way. Am I. right?" So, now I've associated it, Steven with a V. If it's not a name like that, if it's, you know, Jacob, you're not going to. spell that. I'm going to say to you, uh. uh. I might comment. I go, "Jacob, I love.

that shirt. Where'd you get that from? The V-neck, Jacob, really sharp." So, now I've created a visual. hook. You're Jacob with the V-neck. shirt. Now I remember you. Third one is. is if you want, you can do something. that's a connector to someone else you. know. So, if I know a Steven, it's so. funny, you know, my sister's dating a. guy named Steven. Small world. So, you've really quickly connected it. That happens in 5 seconds, what I just. said. Everyone likes a compliment. Everyone likes a hook. You will not. forget that person's name for the rest. of the party. I promise you. And this. works on people of all ages. It's not a.

memory issue. If you can remember your. best friend's name, you can remember the. name of somebody you met at a party. after 5 seconds, if you practice and do. exactly what I just said. And I think a huge part of it, as. someone that does meet a lot of people, is you go into the the meetings with. people. And because you don't really. think the small stuff matters, you don't. think Most people don't think someone's. name matters that much. They think. they're walking into the presentation, they're pitching for a million dollars, they're thinking about the campaign, they're thinking about, you know, how. they're going to.

structure the offer. They're not. thinking about the name being pertinent. So, you walk in, you shake hands, "Hi, Deborah. Nice to meet you, Deborah." You. walk to your chair, you're still. thinking about the campaign, the. campaign, the campaign. And within 3. minutes, you've lost their name. And um. I do think it really has a huge impact. when. I I When I was reading your book, I was. thinking, like, "Do you know what? I. don't do a good job of that. I meet. loads of people all the time. I walk up, I say my name, they say theirs. For me, that's not important information.". Right. Um and and I thought, "You know. Until you get it wrong, and then then. that's the memory they carry of you. I.

would say to people, "If you don't know. someone's name, we think that it's a dreadful thing to. ask them again." It's an avoidable thing. with this, but I would still say that. you're still showing interest, and. there's a few tactics around it, but. say, "Forgive me, but I really would. like to know. I don't know why it. slipped my mind. Tell me your name. again, please." I think even that is a. much better way to play it, because. again, you're human, they're human, everyone's vulnerable. I don't think. there's anything wrong with that. So, I'm okay with letting people know that. there's a human side, and humanize it. And sometimes, if I can't figure it out, I will. But I'll say, "Give me a clue.".

And I go, "Help me out. Tell me where. it's like, 'Oh my god.'" And sometimes, I have a memory hook, and and remember. who introduced us. I'll go, "Oh, I met. you through Steven.". I've had so many founders speak to me. and say, "Why didn't this particular ad. that I ran on this platform work for. me?" Maybe the copy wasn't good, the. creative wasn't strong, but usually the. problem is they're not having the right. conversation because that ad never. reached the right person. And if you're. in B2B marketing, that is much of the. game. And this is where LinkedIn ads. solves that problem for you. Their. targeting is ridiculously specific. You.

can target by job title, seniority, company size, industry, and even. someone's skill set. And their network. includes over a billion professionals. About. So, when you use LinkedIn ads, you're. putting your brand in front of the right. people. And LinkedIn ads also drive the. highest. B2B return on ad spend across all ad. networks in my experience. If you want. to give them a try, head over to. linkedin.com/diary. And when you spend $250 on your first. LinkedIn ads campaign, you'll get an.

extra $250 credit from me for the next. one. That's linkedin.com/diary. Terms and conditions apply. Just give me 15 seconds to explain how. you can build a viable business online. The people I see winning in life don't. have a perfect plan. They just take the. first step and then the next and then. they keep going. They stay obsessed and. they stay consistent. And Stand Store, a. platform I co-own and one of our. sponsors, is the best first step to help. turn your knowledge into income. It only.

takes a couple of minutes to launch your. business and start selling digital. products, coaching, memberships, or. communities online without any tech. headaches or endless setup. Thousands of. entrepreneurs, creators, and risk-takers. use Stand to take control of their. future because Stand is for. entrepreneurs, for those willing to put. in the work and bet on themselves. If. you're ready to start building, join us. Launch your business today with a free. 14-day trial at. stevenbartlett.stand.store. And what else what else should should we.

should my audience know about? You're. someone that focuses on the audience. What else should they know about that. you think can directly improve their. life? I mean, I've given you a lot of like the. core tenants that I think have made me. successful, which is eliminating that. fear of rejection, utilizing notes, making it about other. people. I think I think wrapping things. up in a story is a huge one that we. touched upon lightly, but that Why why a. story? Because stories are remembered. Stories are interwoven into our DNA.

Each of us have a story to tell. I think. such a big one is deciding what makes. you memorable. The more that you can. become memorable to others, the more. people talk about you, it benefits you no matter what you do in. life. When you meet somebody, know that. you're going to weave the narrative. of what they leave, what they think of. you, right? You have to. kind of their memory is malleable. There's a trick I used to do when I was. a teenager where I would have somebody. pick a card. It was a card trick. They would put the card back in. They.

would sign it. I would throw it on the. ceiling. The deck would fall down, but. their signed card stayed stuck on the. ceiling. But when they described the. procedure back to someone else, they would leave out the part with me. throwing the deck. Why did they forget such an important. detail? And I I couldn't understand why. It's. not that their memory was faulty. Something happened. I realized what it was. What I put my. attention on, they put their attention. on. Like everything in life. If you're. focused on the negative, you start to. feel negative. I, when I threw the deck.

up, sometimes wouldn't look up with it. I would throw the deck up. I wouldn't. look, and then I'd catch it. Such a. small minute detail, but me doing that. meant I caught the deck. No one knew. what happened, and I let them. look up and discover the card themselves. rather than me do it. Somehow in that in. their brain, they. deleted that one detail of me throwing. the deck. And now I had a miracle. And. that changed my way of thinking from. there on out, which I said to myself, it. doesn't matter what I do, it matters.

what people remember. And what's the story they tell others? The thing I really learned from that is. that. your focus is driving someone else's. focus. So, when I'm you know, when I'm. going through my life, I need to make sure my focus is in the. right place, the place that I want you. to it to be. And I notice that sometimes. as a podcaster because obviously so I'm. trying to manage this conversation and. I've got these notes written in front of. me. I've got pens, books, props. I've. got a little net in the front of me that. has photos in it and other bits and. pieces and all this stuff. And I do.

notice that during the podcast. conversation, if I don't look up at the. guest and I start looking down a little. bit or even if I'm just looking down to. see my next bullet point or to think. about something, Right. I distract the. guest. But it also in everyday life, the other. thing that I think we're all guilty of. and you talk about this in your book, is. um. we sometimes reach for our phone a. little bit. Right. The card story, that's what it said to me. It said that. oh my god, people's focus really is. where your focus is. So, if I'm having a. great conversation with you and you're a.

client or something and I just glance at. my watch, you just did it then with me. again. You just glanced down at my hand. >> Right. And I never realized until you. said that card thing how important it. was to make sure my focus is in the. right place. Your focus is in the right. place, but also know the fact that your. memory is malleable. So, in my. profession, I employ all different. tactics. I can tell you one is. confusion. Your brain is it's very difficult for. your brain to read and write at the same. time. So, if I want to distract you from. a method and I confuse you, then it's.

exactly like an Etch-A-Sketch. Maybe. you've drawn a picture and the moment. you get confused and you go. you forget what you just did exactly. And the Etch-A-Sketch has just been. shaken and now you can't recount the. series of events properly. And at that. moment, you've now created this. beautiful watercolor painting that. hasn't dried. I can move some of the. pieces around and I can redraw your. picture a little bit, and I can change. your memory of what it is. I, during. certain points when I'm performing, and. this has to do with you talked about.

public speaking and storytelling, I tell you the story that you're going. to tell others, and I take out the. pieces I want out. I want this gone, I. want this gone, I want this gone. I'm. going to edit your memories. Give me a. specific example. >> that's the nature of what I do. So, in. in a certain routine, again, what I. would ask someone if if I asked somebody. to think of someone important to them, and then later on I guess the name of. their first kiss, they will forget how the question was. orchestrated, how I set up the initial.

ask, and what happened during the. initial ask. And then the story they. will tell to someone else is, "I don't. know how but he guessed my first kiss.". Now, when they tell that story, he goes, "He told me to think of anyone, and and. I thought of my first kiss, and he. guessed it.". What if I didn't? What if I narrowed it. down, and I actually told you to think. of your first kiss, but the initial. question was think of anyone? And see. all those people swirling around your. mind, and then one person comes up you. haven't seen since elementary school. First girl you ever kissed, you're blown. away. Now, the people that watched it. have also seen a different effect. It's. known as a dual reality. The reality one.

person experiences is different than the. other. Yeah. Right? If you walk in to a. conversation in the middle, you don't. know the context, but you know the. ending. Yeah. So, I'm using that because again, when you. tell me the methods of mentalism, mentalism is all about group dynamics, the way people think. If I was. performing for you in a group, it would. be utterly different and completely. easier. This one-on-one interaction is. far more difficult cuz I have no lanes. to weave around. It's like if I was. passing you in a car on a four-lane. highway, I've got space. Right now, you.

and me are locked in. It's very. difficult for me to use others cuz. the way you feel it next to someone. else, you'll behave differently than by. yourself. And you're someone that, you. know, started doing this at a very young. age and has developed and evolved their. skill set over time. And so, you've got. five kids, and I'm I'm wondering how. important you think obsession is to get. to the very top. You've gotten to the. >> blessing. It's a blessing. If somebody. can find an obsession, You've gotten to. the top of an industry where very few. people. get to the top of. And even if they do, they don't end up on the biggest. platforms in the world. So, thinking.

about the characteristics of your. success, um. for this kid it was obviously obsession. was a huge part of that, right? >> Yes. How old were you in this photo? Uh probably 14. Probably right when I. started restaurant. That 14 to me. Okay, 14 then and you're 43 now? That's right. So, you've been doing this decades and. decades and decades. The majority of my. life. How important do you think that is to to. reach the top of any industry? I don't know if I would say the time.

matters as much because I've seen people. that are phenoms in much in much like. more compressed times. I don't want to. say that you need your 30 years. Passion. The people that excite me the. most to be around in my life, the people. that I look up to and I'm on the edge of. my seat always have a passion. I don't. care what that's for. I don't care if. you are a you know. a trashman and your obsession is is. trash like something that I would never. think about. I've met so many people. where they have a topic that meant. nothing to me at the moment, but once I. start speaking to them, their level of.

excitement, their their feeling like the. fact that they're so invested makes me. feel invested. But to hone your skills. to the point that you can reach the peak. of a mountain. I speak to someone called DJ EZD and he. was saying to me he spends 7 hours a day. he's a great DJ. And when I watch him. it's like watching a magician play the. decks. And he said to me he spends 7. hours a day sometimes listening to 700. different new tracks a day just. listening to 20 seconds of each. And I. don't think people often get to see that. level of obsession. They see people sat. here, but they don't get to see the all.

the like the messy journey to here. Right. I think it's important to show. them what that messy journey to here. looks like because then they can decide. for themselves in their own life if. whatever thing they're pursuing is worth. the trade. Like is it worth it to sit here and to. be who you are now for like that? You say worth it as if it's a negative. thing. I I think it gave a definition to. my life. I think that to have a passion. is something so few of us I've hit the. lottery in life. I get to meet. interesting people. I get to bring joy. I get to live my dream. Everything I do.

is of my own volition. Like I I couldn't. I don't even know how I'd complain for. an iota of a second. I've won the. lottery times the lottery times the. lottery. I I don't know. I It's not even. my profession. I have a mindset where. I could die tomorrow. Right? Everybody. who doesn't think that way that you. don't have gratitude for today is like I. don't know. I'm a natural optimist. I. just think that But I mean what does. that actually look like? Cuz I no one no. one was there to see those what? 30 20. 30 years? >> Yep. How much work was there? And is it like.

you were doing it part-time? Is it free. time? Is it the shower? Are you thinking. about it in the shower? Is it. >> So I think I've been thinking about it. for decades. And now even now I it. consumes my thoughts at certain points. in time even though I try to. try to also be present in the moment. It's not like a absolute obsession. 7. hours a day is pretty rough. But. the muse of creativity comes to me. And. and it's there's so fulfilling. It's the. same way like this book putting this. book on paper you were you're an author. as well was such an exceptional. challenge because my thoughts and then.

crafting them onto the page into words. And also at the end of the day who cares. about me? I I always have this mindset. of I need to prove to you. I don't come. from the assumption of you should watch. me because I'm great. I have an inverse. I said I need to define to you why you. should be watching. Why you should be. listening. Why this should excite you. Why this should amaze you. Hopefully it. inspired you to take action and you got. something tangible that will provide a. value in your life. And I wouldn't have. written the book. Trust me that the book. I didn't need to write this book. I.

wrote the book because so many people. had said to me we want to know what. helped you achieve success. And they're. fascinated by this pursuit. And I think. that was it. I just was driven by the. people around me that they said, "You. should write this." And I felt I finally. had a story to tell. And what's the one thing about your. success and your new life that. if this guy knew. he may have hesitated a little bit to. pursue the life that you now have. I think being very busy and success has. its pitfalls. If you assign your.

self-esteem to something others can give. you, be it fame, be it money, be it. things that are intangible and that can. be taken away, and you don't define. yourself worth by something internal, like your own drive, competing against. yourself, creating your own goals, then. it's fleeting. Fame, for example, there's going to be ups and downs. Every. career has a life cycle. Right now. things are going very well. There's no. question that at a certain point the. peak hits, and now you go down. And it's. inevitable, and I don't think about. that. I'd like to continue the peak or. continue go climbing and climbing.

climbing, but when that happens I'm. aware of it, and I will not it's not a. something that will define who I am. This is part of it. I think having. outside interests and challenging. yourself outside your comfort zone, for. me, ultramarathons, marathons, athletic. pursuits that cannot be bought, they. must be earned. And I think that's. something we value more and more in our. day-to-day life because again, there's. influencers, there's people, there's. followers, there's all this stuff that I. don't want to call fickle, but it can be bought.

What can be earned? Earned are things. that you This has been earned by you. This has been you putting in sweat. equity for decades, believing in. yourself. Each time you get a big guest, you. harness your momentum and get a bigger. guest. You've earned this. You create a. team around you. I think that's. something notable and that people should. decide what's your goal, and as you. strive towards it, that's where you feel. the fulfillment. For me, it's been being. on the road. Like the most biggest. negative is being away from my children. and wife, and that's success, and I. can't not do that. If I want to be.

successful, I have to be gone a lot, and. so I have to find that balance between. the two of having my kids miss me, but. also creating a life for them in the. future, and also juggling the fact that. I have, you know, major career. ambitions. Um, is there anything else. that my audience might be able to take. away and action in their own lives that. is in line with maybe this this David. Goggins quote in the front of your book, "Learn to master the most powerful. weapon, your mind." Is there anything. else that my audience should be aware of. so that they can show up better in their. lives um in the pursuit of their goals?

I think defining your goals is huge. Looking yourself in the mirror and being. honest and seeing what that voice really. says to you, because. I, just like everybody else, have had. feelings of inadequacy, feelings of I'm. not going to be able to pull this off, and it's not that it's not as if I'm. there's a superhuman thing of I'm, you. know, I'm putting my head down, I'm. going to get through it like Goggins. doesn't stop. If you've ever met him, he. is a machine. He's amazing, but he goes. out and he'll tell you he's the first. one who doesn't going to want to go out. and run when it's raining and cold and. freezing. But, you know why he does it?

Because he didn't want to do it. That's. where the real work is. When I'm doing a. workout that's exceptionally hard, when. it gets to the hardest part, that's when. I tell myself, "All of this was easy. This is where I'm actually growing.". So, I challenge you right now to assign. yourself a goal. Right now, if you get. one thing out of this podcast, decide. one thing that you want to strive for. Define it. Define it. Don't do these. pie-in-the-sky things. Goals that are. achievable have to be quantifiable. Be. it a number, be it something achievable, decide what it is and make tomorrow the.

first day you go after it and create all. of the things that will help you. succeed, not fail. Most of us when we. start a goal, the joke is you start. January 1st. Everyone's starting their. fitness journey. By February, no one's in the gym. anymore. Why is that? Why does everyone. give up? Because the hard work is at the. beginning. Those first few weeks of. setting a habit in place, I have a lot. of things in here that are all about how. you form habits. I literally put in the. book "Proven Habits for success. It's. not tricks. For example, Atomic Habits had a huge.

impact on me. Some of these books that. show you where is that inflection point. from you trying to do something to you. ingraining it in your muscle memory and. now it becomes self-fulfilling. You keep. doing it because you like doing it. I. didn't love running when I started. Now. running is my vacation. I enjoy running. It gives me a flow state. I make up new. ideas. I get to kind of check in with. myself. I think physical activity is so. important. So many of the chronic. diseases and things we have are. lifestyle choices. and inactivity. We could solve so many.

huge problems we have simply by. eat healthier and start working out a. little more. And nobody wants to hear. that, but you do a little bit of hard. work, you continue. and you maintain. So yeah, I I'm I'm hoping that's useful, but that that's what I want people to. do. If you take action tomorrow and. start making your goals happen, get. inside your own head, that's what I want you to do right now. But you remember when I had you close. your eyes. and I had you see hundreds of different. people. I had you envision people that.

you've met, famous people, people that. you like, people you care about, all. those different people and one person. tapped you on the shoulder, gave you a. piece of advice. Do you remember that? >> Yeah. And that piece of advice. set in motion you thinking of jewels. Yeah. Who is the person who tapped you on the. shoulder, you turned around, you looked. them in the eye. and they said something to you that. changed your life, created a memorable. moment and put in place that domino. effect. Tell me, who did you think of? Michelle Obama. Open up that piece of paper.

Funny. It's a photo of Michelle Obama. She's gorgeous, though. Okay, we have a closing tradition on.

this podcast where the last guest leaves. a question for the next guest. without knowing who they're leaving it. for. And the question that's been left. for you is Oh, fantastic. If you could live forever, would you? And why or why not? Woo. I think I would. I think I would. An. obsession of mine growing up has been. science fiction. My favorite books to. read, the ones that just capture my. imagination. And there's so many books. I've read about immortality.

And there's a book that this brings to. mind. by Octavia E. Butler, which is. underrated. It's called Wildseed, and. not a lot of people have read it. It's a. sci-fi book. And it's. it delves into this exact subject. And. just what would it be like to see all. the people around you pass away, and the. sadness. And then what would you do. because at some point you'd feel empty. People just die, right? It's kind of. like think of it as the life of an. insect. Just they disappear. They come, they go, they come, they go. And I think. that eventually you would revert back to.

being completely numb and cold. But at. the same time, death is just that abyss. that everyone, no matter how much we. avoid thinking about it, talking about. it, you're going to die. I'm going to. die. And one day. you'll have that final breath. Will you. know it's going to happen? Will you not? What will you think about in those. moments? What will you go into it with? Will you still have that fear of death? I I think our whole lives are an. extension of trying to avoid thinking. about our eventual death. I think I would love to live forever. But I bet you once I live forever, it.

would start to be a curse. I can't wait to think of the question. I'm going to ask the next person. Thank you so much. Thank you for writing. a book that inspires people to live. their better life. I think all the. principles in here are all human. principles that focus on how we can. relate better to other people. And so. many people are struggling to connect. with other people for so many reasons. and that's causing so much downstream. mental health issues and physiological. issues and disconnection in the world. and we're seeing that increasingly. If. you go on the internet, you see a lot of. disconnection because we're struggling. to relate to people. And I think it's,

you know, the most I think for me the. most important byproduct of the work. that you do. is you make people. curious and open-minded. And there's so much that comes from. that. People just being a bit more. curious. And that's, you know, that all. people get, the magic of it. I think it. makes people's minds expansive. And if. people have expansive minds, then that. might just be the catalyst to all types. of progress. I love it. Do you know what. I'm saying? Like that might. >> being open-minded and having a different.

feeling than the usual, which is in our. day-to-day, we get into this autopilot. Well, yes, we feel pings of joy, pings. of anxiety, pings of depression, pings. of happiness. My I told you, the thing I got addicted. to was giving people this different. feeling. Yeah. Which is a feeling you. lose out. Children, you see it in their. eyes. Again, it's it's a little hokey to. say, but when I see my 3-year-old or my. 2-year-old discover something new and. you see it through their eyes, it's a. gift. It's something you get back. Because once you're an adult, you can't. have that same thing because you've. become jaded to the world. And suddenly.

for them to see a a butterfly fly and. it's like this joyful experience and. seeing it through a kid's eyes, it's. honestly it it's been the greatest joy. of my life is seeing joy of my kids. It's seeing that cuz it's in our DNA. That's my version of immortality. >> And humans lose that. We get more. cynical and we lose that. >> more and more and it's sad to me because. I have lost it knowing how I do the. things I do. So, to ask me the good. question is if I get fooled by another. magician or mentalist, how does it make. me feel? Amazing. It's the best feeling. and I try immediately to hold back the.

part of me that wants to know how it was. done. Because right away, there's a. professional curiosity. The same way. that a movie star or a director can't. watch a movie and just think of it. They're watching Here's how you did the. camera. Here's this panning shot. Here's. the ISO. Right? They can't disconnect. from the how the sausage is made. Yeah. I, because those moments are so few and. far between, I instantly, in my mind, stop I stop myself from thinking how. and I enjoy that wonder because it's so. few for me that I can't I can't I know. how everything's done. So, when I get. it, I love it. It's like the day you.

figured out Santa Claus wasn't real. It's like busting an illusion. And when. I figured out Santa Claus wasn't real, my world got small like the. possibilities of the world got smaller. because there when magic existed. anything was possible. Right? And that's. a great place to live. But when I found. out Santa Claus wasn't real, I was like, "Oh.". You know? Yes. It's like, "Oh, there's. no magic in this world." Right. And. that's not a nice way to believe. And. you're you're, you know, the work that. you're doing and the performances that. you do and the entertainment you bring. keeps people's minds open and lets them.

imagine, be creative, and believe that. there's still magic in this world. And. that's a wonderful thing. I highly. recommend people go get your book. I'm. going to link it below and put it on. screen for anyone that wants to grab it. It's called Read Your Mind: Proven. Habits for Success from the World's. Greatest Mentalist. And the people on. the back are some of which are my. friends. I've got an investor of mine on. here. Many of my former podcast guests on here. as well like Jay Shetty and Mark Cuban. and Adam Grant. And. on the front, David Goggins. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for. having me. Thank you for putting this.

out in the world and I enjoyed this. Even though your recent one on AI scared. the crap out of me, but I'm honored to. have been a guest and I can't wait to. write a question for the next person and. live on. Make sure you keep what I'm about to say. to yourself. I'm inviting 10,000 of you. to come even deeper into the Diary of a. CEO. Welcome to my inner circle. This is. a brand new private community that I'm. launching to the world. We have so many. incredible things that happen that you. are never shown. We have the briefs that. are on my iPad when I'm recording the. conversation. We have clips we've never.

released. We have behind the scenes. conversations with the guests and also. the episodes that we've never, ever. released. And so much more. In the. circle, you'll have direct access to me. You can tell us what you want this show. to be, who you want us to interview, and. the types of conversations you would. love us to have. But, remember for now, we're only inviting the first 10,000. people that join before it closes. So, if you want to join our private close. community, head to the link in the. description below or go to. doacircle.com.

I will speak to you then.