Ivan Toney Finally Opens Up About His Ban & Reveals His Preferred Future Team!

in May 26th you did a famous tweet I'll. speak soon with no filter you ready to. speak 100. and. seismic news for the Premier League. football is brutal that 15 is being. rejected at Leicester 18 I got towards. got a squad number took the pictures. I'll know where the club says and I'll. look into sign you no more you have. scoliosis in your back it hasn't. affected your game Tony I'm a Tony I.

don't feel like as. Ivan Tony has won his first England. caller you missed out on the final World. Cup squad do you know why the. allegations somebody's out to get me to. stop me from playing finger Ivan Tony. has been suspended for eight months with. breaching at betting rules I read the. whole fa report you acknowledge that you. lied in that meeting with the FX I. didn't lie I just couldn't really. remember you admit to 232 breaches. destroy those I didn't do vital. responsibility so the whole process. could be cleared up but the bit I to.

struggle with is that using someone else. to do the best you'd said to give me I. can't have that one in my name bets for. your team to lose it's a bigger story. what impact was it having on your life. with me I never saw nothing I'm not sure. emotions that's been times I've just I'm. in a room on my own Just Looking Into. Thin Air and just. we're gonna get back to football clubs. are gonna come knocking the next Club. I'll go to if I was to move it would be.

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I always believe that to understand a. person you have to understand their. earliest years I kind of see our. earliest years as the like oven that. we're formed in so if I if if you take. me back to your earliest years what do I. need to know about you to understand the. man you are today what were the. characteristics of that environment that. shaped you just out the front of where. lives like on the front is a park unlike. the older guys will just be out the. front playing and that's me at like.

seven eight trying to get involved and. these guys are like 15 16 and they were. playing rough no matter if you're. eight nine ten trying to play with us. play with them they're gonna be rough so. that kind of helped me into today's game. how I am now. progressed a lot quicker and like even. when I was like 16 breaking through. Northampton I kind of had that bashing. around at a young age by the older guys. so being 16 getting Bust Around by men. let's say.

I was kind of like used to it. what about hard work what was your were. you a hard-working man at that age. in terms of running and I I never liked. running I was always the lazy one at the. back of the at the back of the group. because I knew when it's time to get on. the pitch I would score goals. but like we all know. hard work beats Talent when talent. doesn't work hard so it's like kind of. like if you've got the talent and you. can work on the hard work and put them. both together then.

you give yourself the best chance of. becoming. a top athlete and you and you put the. work in to improve that part of your. game and attitude. yeah I had to because there was when I. was training like when I was at. Leicester. I got told I wasn't getting a. scholarship there so then I went to I. didn't really wanna. play football as much because being. rejected at Leicester is kind of like. okay let me just chill for now but then. like my parents just like.

go to go to Northampton because that was. a game that we played Northampton when I. was at Leicester and then I think the. Phantom said if anybody gets released. from them. let us know. I think Lester must have put me in touch. with Northampton and I was kind of like. I'm in an hour and about going but then. I ended up going and it was kind of like. everybody's playing for scholarship. and then it was like on the last day. everybody already knows again a. scholarship and I was the only one.

that wasn't told. so everyone is in the dressing room. talking ah we've got scholarship. scholarship. and I'm there still on trial thinking. when am I getting told and it wasn't. until the next morning on the meeting. like the first meeting of all the. scholarship players joined up I got a. phone call and said. he's got a scholarship we'd like him to. come down and. I think that point was kind of like. okay I got scholarship this is my chance. now. but there was a moment there where you. were because of the rejection from.

Leicester you were considering. doing something else with your life yeah. I feel like nobody likes rejection. like being rejected it's not the best. feeling. and it being like. basically you're not good enough to be. playing football how I saw it you're not. good enough to be playing football. even though it was just I'm not good. enough for Leicester I might be good. enough somewhere else somebody else. might value what my quality is a lot. more than Lester did have to see that in. the moment though yeah it's very hard. it's very hard and how old 16s was like.

15 15 yeah. that's kind of like. you don't want it you don't you want. that rejection again it's like a kind of. fear of getting that again. then when I do like I said when I got. the scholarship on what's new. it wasn't happening again. because your journey through football. just generally has been a real climb. you know it's been a real real climb. like and also reflect on the fact that. most so many kids at that age 16 years.

old they get they get a rejection and. they don't bounce back from it and if. they don't make it to the very top. they'll often. take that badly and pursue a different. career path but you're rejected at 16. you persevered you got into the team at. Northampton you made a good. um good impression there and then. eventually you end up at Newcastle at. what 19 18. 18 years old how was that. experience. it was crazy first time away from home. at such a young age 18 is like.

and as well you thought he was a man. like from League two there was talks of. you going to a Premier League team and. like. I would never in the Northampton. changing feel like. I was a man like there was talks going. on but nothing's done until it's done. so it's kind of like actually before I. was going to Newcastle I was supposed to. go to wolves right. but I've got there I've got tools.

um I've met everybody winning the change. rooms got my number on uh took the. pictures. they come to the contract side. and then I think that was a bit of. talk with my agent and the club. on certain things and then it related. back to us and I was all just confused. me my family didn't know what was going. on and then. I don't know where the club come out and. said um. we're not looking to sign you no more. due to you having scoliosis in your back.

so we just think it was so confused from. getting the squad number meeting all the. players meeting all the staff and then. for them to come out and say. your scoliosis in your in your back we. wasn't we're not looking to sign you. it's kind of like. is that really the reason is there more. behind it. but then. be from having to go back to Northampton. like I've said my goodbyes at. Northampton and I'm supposed to be.

concerning the Wolves then the next day. I'm back in Northampton and training. with the boys. everybody's like what's happening and. when I just sat me down and said listen. don't dwell on that I'm sure other. things will come and come into place and. I think a few weeks later new class. we're interested in. I went there scoliosis in your back what. is scoliosis and were they aware that. you had scoliosis. I thought there was aware because before. we set up to see a specialist. because they they I feel like.

that wanted to know what was going on. how bad it was because I think it was. certain scoliosis it stops you from. walking at a certain age and just gets. worse and worse but. I feel like I would be busy especially. she said you'd be lucky to be walking at. 28 still really yeah. and then I was just like it doesn't. really register like you think at the. time at 18 I'm thinking well I'm fine. now I'm I'm enjoying football now so. it's that really registered but being.

27. closer to 28 you kind of think well. I'm strong fit and healthy food. continuously so. what is scoliosis. where your back's not straight. It's like got a slack yeah yeah. hasn't affected your game I don't feel. like it has and you know going back to. moving to Newcastle it's like. going from League two to Premier league.

is. crazy. like as soon as. since I went there I don't know fancy. you get recognized but it's not crazy. and then go into their Newcastle I'm in. the hotel. everybody's recognizing me straight away. it's like a crowd outside the hotel. waiting to see me and it's kind of like. this is what happened. so fast you're away from home as well. away from home bam a long way as well. what you what are you feeling when.

Newcastle make that phone call and they. they say they're interested in you and. then you move there what does it feel. like as an 18 year old because I can. only imagine I was I was always playing. football when I was younger I was always. hoping a little bit to be a football I. knew I wasn't good enough but you know. I'm going with that whole got injured at. 16. yeah he's crazy he is crazy he. this is so exciting like. you want to tell everybody you want to. say I'm going here tomorrow yeah I'm. going here I'm going here but with me. how I am nothing's done till it's done.

especially after the Wolves stuff yeah. like that was on the back of my mind so. I'm thinking right just wait until it's. all sorted then you can tell everyone. well I'm so excited I want to tell. this person that person this is. something. so yeah it was it was crazy my head was. all over the place I'm thinking. I'm actually going to the Premier League. like. I've made it I'm here. but little did I know is how far if I. made it. what happened.

I feel like when you take that step you. get you get noticed more. you get more money. and just just do silly things like. like you get mixed in the wrong crowd. going out. and buying things you wouldn't normally. Buy. just a bit naive. and it's as well being away from. my family although they kept on telling.

me don't do nothing silly look after. your money this and that you're gonna. think okay but they're not here to. control what I've got hold of right now. I can spend it on this I can spend on. that. like you just do things like I said. things you never normally do like we're. getting personal shoppers to come to the. house and. you don't think I'll go to the shop and. buy yourself stuff if you want to do. that so it's like these kind of things. but.

yeah I think it. didn't come at me fast I wouldn't say. that I'd say just like a surprise kind. of thing like. like I said I thought I'd made it so. whatever happens I'm fine I'm in the. Premier League. what was the advice that you needed at. that point that you didn't get like if. you could go back now and have a chat. with Ivan and say listen bro you arrive. at Newcastle that day and you get a. chance just to say a couple of things to. him what'd you say I'll sit down and. have a long chat with him. it would be a long chat.

no I think I'll just say like this is. where the hard work starts it's not. finished you're not you can't pull it on. cruise control you got to go to exit. gear. like yeah I'm at a Premier League club. but I haven't played yet. I've not got continuous games under my. belt to be saying okay I'm a premier. league player now. so it's like. I'd say to yeah a younger Ivan or. anybody that's in that situation go and. doing such a big jump. to say that's when the hard work starts.

were you in cruise control do you think. yeah yeah if if I even was moving I'd. probably put a handbrake on really yeah. I just thought I'm Premier League now. as well you've seen all the big boys. like literally training there. it's like yeah I'm here now. and you play two games before they. loaned you out yeah come off the bench. twice against United and Chelsea and. then you went on quite a long loan spell.

Barnsley Shrewsbury Wiggins gunthorpe. when you find out you're getting loaned. out how do you receive that as a player. I've always wondered this when you're a. young player in the club big you're in. the Premier League because I think. there's a lot about Manchester United as. a big fan we always low now are like. younger ads and I wonder how how that's. positioned to you as a player and how. you receive it. it's not the best feeling okay because. at the time it's kind of like I want you. know I'm here like. I'm here now you want to send me away.

like yeah and you got the personal. shopper coming over exactly yeah yeah so. I need to I need to sort some things out. to me come in Shrewsbury yeah I don't. think you'll travel that far. But now y'all I feel like like it's at. that age you don't really think. what you're gonna learn for. I mean first team experience is. this is probably the best at that age as. well and like knowing that because I. feel like I just specter. Houston football is cool.

like tick attacker pretty football then. go into. League one like I said on loan. you're gonna get bashed around so you. need to be ready for that. physical battle. and I feel like going online definitely. help me looking back now it helped me a. lot but at the time I was thinking I. don't need to go and learn I'm ready to. be. playing in the Premier League I feel. like from Young I've always had that. that my dad always told me no matter. where you are if you have that mentality. that you're a premier league player but.

at the moment you're just on League one. that's fine but if you don't have that. mentality that. I'm a premier league player so I don't. need to try here then. it's not going to work out so it doesn't. matter where you are if you have the. mentality I should be playing in the. Prem but right now I'm playing here. that's fine. and I feel like you you go you go. a Long Way to the where I am now um. I'm feeling playing. that bit of device. that my dad gave me was.

very key when you went off on loan and. they say okay you're leaving Newcastle. now does that take you out of cruise. control and into like I've got something. to prove again it should it should have. it did but it didn't really because I. always believed that no matter what. happened where I went I'm going back to. Newcastle. so no matter if I played didn't play at. all or played rubbish I'm going back to. Newcastle back to the Premier League but. not knowing the effects that could have. well it did have in the end. even though.

I think all the clubs I went to about. one. hour I left goal scorer. but. it was like. I could have looking back I feel like I. could have went that. extra step further. yeah. scunthorpe united six girls and 15. appearances. showed a huge promise while you're on. your loan spells as a prolific goal. scorer and then at 22 years old you. transferred to Peterborough United.

after failing to secure a regular place. at Newcastle now that. that must have. been an interesting moment because. that's kind of like another knock back. in it goes back to like Lester the. Leicester rejection and stuff that's. like another. step down you've made it to the Prem and. now you've got. to take a step down. yeah it was a must not actually not I. wouldn't say a massive not not back it. was a knockback but it was kind of like. maybe a not back I needed at the time.

because like I remember sitting down. with my dad and my agent at the time and. saying listen. like me me and my dad are brutal whoever. we work with we want not we want the. honest honest truth no matter if they. say. we don't want him he's not good enough. for us I'd rather my agent tell me that. but how the relationship was that the. agent with my agent at the time. it kind of sugarcoat things right so. meanwhile that kind of had to get out of. him what did the club say like just tell.

us be honest and his words were the club. don't think you're good enough already. at the time at this moment in time. so it's kind of like in my head it's. like okay fine no problem it's time for. me to go elsewhere. then regroup restart it wasn't like I. was too old it was just it was just uh. not back and set back that like I said. at the time probably needed to. kick start my journey again do you think. Newcastle were right in saying that. um possibly like don't get me wrong you.

go to a great Club they had some they've. had some great players in doing very. well at the moment but I feel like. I didn't really have. a chance in the first team. to prove if I was good good enough. I feel personally anyway I know too far. at the time was. when Newcastle were fighting to stay. stay up. in the Premier League when Rafa Benitez. first come in oh yeah. so it's kind of understandable you. wanted.

these players uh. try and keep them up. we wanted to experience and stuff more. than like to be given youth younger. players a chance and stuff is that what. you're saying yeah I feel like I mean. you can't really put so much. responsibility on you players or young. players to keep you up in the Premier. League it's such a big ask but. I feel like maybe The Following Season. it was kind of like. could he get a Sniff and I think he kind. of was it is his own players in them and. done his own own thing which is that's.

football. so if you go to Peterborough. um you're close to your family at this. point yeah yeah oh Mommy's boy at Art so. I leave my mum around close and did it. change your attitude moving to. Peterborough unlike this whole cruise. control thing. yeah he did and especially when I went. to first went to Peterborough. I wasn't playing at the first. I'd say 10 games. the strikers out in front of me it was.

scoring every game. assistant playing well. but the manager at the time Steve Evans. was just saying. the warrior trance will come and when. your chance comes it's up to you to take. it. a new trance came yeah and then took it. uh yeah 100 took it he scored 24 goals. in 32 League One games at Peterborough. which is insane yeah yeah like well like. the competitions all over the field but.

especially as as a striker you need to. you drop the school goals and especially. when the other two scoring goes if you. get a one Sniff and you don't score. you'll back out again and it gives him. another opportunity. the director of football at Peterborough. said you were an incredibly hard worker. he also said you were their best. defender because you headed away nine. out of ten Corners. I feel like yeah them games I kind of. had a magnet on my head that was just. bringing the vote towards me but yeah. now I think.

the hard work as well like when I'm. loved by a manager I feel like I'm a. club I feel like. it's in me to want to give back I want. to do a lot of things. for like run for a brick wall four the. manager that's wanted me in this. position did they become like proxy. father figures to you in that regard. because you're clearly a man that's. close to your father did they kind of. you see what I'm saying is that is it a. similar relationship like uh where you. want to do them proud.

when I first signed a piece with Steve. Evans like the first time you spoke to. me. he was just it was like a friend like a. normal chat even though you got the. respect as a manager but he was saying. listen I want you to come in school. girls. and go go go how like the goal just go. for us benefits you and us because we're. going to go higher and you're going to. go out so it's a win-win. and I think. him putting an arm around me at that.

time knowing. I've come from a Premier League club. and saying it's not really not back. this is where you kicks out your journey. again. having that I think definitely helped me. and didn't you have I read somewhere. that you had a agreement with them like. a verbal agreement that if a bigger Club. came knocking they wouldn't stand in. your way Peterborough. that probably was a verbal agreement but. if anybody knows the fee of a fever. staff and the owners and therefore we.

have different ideas but I mean yeah I. guess when I did go that was the right. timing like. every every player thinks when there's a. move on the cars you want to try and. rush it through and. if things aren't right they're not right. for a reason like you can't rush good. things good things aren't rust. I think at the time that was a chance I. could have went to somewhere I try and. rush it through and it was like don't. worry oh really so there was office from. other clubs there was office from other. clubs yeah but big clubs. um biggest at a time okay Championship.

clubs yeah Championship clubs and he was. saying. just just be patient you're gonna get a. better club and I'm just there like not. kick him out I'm not throwing my toys. out of the problem just be like wow it's. just a chance to move now. who used to know what can happen blah. blah and then I ended up staying in. and I went to Brentford which was. probably the best. choice in the end and around this time I. mean just before then 21 years old you. become a father for the first time yeah. I mean that's that's as well what.

helps me Kickstart My Journeys as well. because I feel like. I've got people to provide for. um I have expensive taste as well so. it's either choosing my expensive taste. for my family so. if I could school goals and help both. then it's perfect so I think that's what. helped me pick things up and. I had to provide for people. does that Focus you because I'm not a. dad yet but it's around the corner for.

me I'm sure. um does that Focus your priorities in a. sense like does it make because I speak. to my mates who have always had kids and. they almost described that moment when. their baby first comes they kind of see. the world differently and they're like. responsibilities differently and stuff. 100 100 like you can't do the things you. normally do. you have to think baby first in all. aspects did it make your game better 100. yeah yeah 100 definitely how. it's in like I want to make him proud so.

when he's older that's my dad he's done. this he's doing this this is this so. it's kind of like a pride thing as well. as wanting to do well. for my family and. have a better better lifestyle for. everybody not just me and my people. provide for when did you find out that. Brentford are interested. it was actually training at St George's. Park yeah uh with Peterborough. and there's talks of. going here there and I was kind of like.

I'm gonna know him just like yeah when. it's when it's something concrete then. let me know right now I just want to. focus on training hard. because it's easy to if you let us stray. when this club's interested in you this. club's interesting you hear loads of. things. but then nothing's concrete like this is. all well and good he's looking at you. he's looking at you but this time I'm. not a kid no more when they want me and. put a bidding then we can start talking.

was. hearing they're interested what does. that mean that doesn't mean nothing like. everybody can be interested but nobody. wants you yeah yeah so when. Brentford come along and I was I was. interested and actually put a bid in. that's great it's like okay. I spoke to the manager he kind of. it was straightforward and said you're. gonna come in and be the main man. we want you to be starting every game. and. school goals and. do your job then.

either take us up or go to a go to a. higher Club. so you get that call from Brentford they. put a bid in you speak to the manager. Thomas Frank yes and Thomas says listen. you're going to be on number one. I think it was a no-brainer I think I. did speak to other clubs. um. actually I went into Rangers oh nice. spoke with uh the manager there which is. Steven Gerard at the time. and Manchester United did you speak to.

yeah they said I wasn't good enough. yeah. I went to I went to um went to Rangers. we spoke a bit but then they said I was. like. twos of those two strikes at the time. and then I was looking to get another. one in so it would have been like four. strikes I think and I think the. formation they played majority of the. time one strike at top so you would have. been like third choice or something yeah. something like this. but and then uh we went to Celtic we.

spoke to Celtic and I think it was like. the same there I'm one of three strikes. or something like this. and I think. at the time of when it was I was moving. I wanted to be like the main guy like I. think the crucial thing for me is. playing games. even though I backed myself on competing. with other Strikers but I honestly know. that when I go in what first first. through the door on the main man up. front and it's up to me to keep my.

position I feel like when I went to uh. when I spoke to the manager at Brentford. he pretty much. said you're the main guy and I don't see. nobody. taking your spot. so you make sure you produce produce the. goods and it feels really. you you've worked a lot of clubs. um you've played a lot of different. clubs brunfield are special they're. really really special because they are. based on their resources they are. objectively over achieving. in a really really significant way.

um. what is it about Brentford from your. experience that is make what is that. magic that they have. hard work plain and simple hard work. like we're not the best. technically gifted team we have some. magicians in the team but other than. that it's just hard work. I mean. and we fear nobody we respect them we. don't fear them. so when we go to the let's say I'm.

filled away. or Chelsea aware of these kind of games. we know they're probably on paper better. than us got some big names and this and. that but. if at the end of the day the main thing. that wins the games is. hard work and a little bit of quality I. guess putting the hole in the back of. the net. and I feel like. throughout the. throughout the club everybody knows what. the manager wants. you have to you have to you have to be. willing to run for your teammate plus. your left first your right and the fans.

and everybody and everybody knows the. responsibility they have. on their shoulders when they step onto. the pitch. so I think that's that's probably what's. brought us to where. and how well we're doing at the moment. and even like at the moment the team. playing without me I hear and people say. oh drinking breakfast we're going to be. like this now you're not playing this. and that I don't think in no they're not. gonna struggle because. they work hard and when you work hard.

you give yourself the best chance. of winning the game. and I I know deep down Brentford would. be fine with or without me. well you've played a lot of clubs right. so you can kind of compare and contrast. is there anything else other than just. that work ethic that you've noticed is. just different at Brentford. so you've got super hard work is there. anything else their approach to things. or the strategy or the way that they I. feel like they're to govern this as well. how everybody's like everybody talk to. everyone I've been at clubs where it's. like.

a certain groups it there certain groups. that they're like everybody's divided. it's like but it's not that rental. everybody. makes it to everybody how you got people. of Spanish Danish which is majority of. the club at the moment. um English and everything and everybody. just mix it together so it's not like. oh let me where my friends where should. I sit down at lunch you just get your. lunch sit down here you talk with. forever and the manager.

that comes from him I feel like he makes. sure that togetherness and humbleness. like there's no. nobody at the club thinks. they're better than nobody like even. last season I scored 20 goals I was I. wasn't about nobody. I Was the Same. the person that doesn't really play too. much. they're not less of a person than me. we're all the same we'll. in it together. so I feel like that comes from the. manager and his philosophy at the club. and how he wants things to be run what.

are the things that you often think with. managers and CEOs and stuff like there's. they have their like core principles. which you just get bored of hearing. because they say over and over and over. and over again what are those things. that he just repeats over and over and. over again togetherness yeah humble yeah. an attitude. and I guess he polices that pretty yeah. all the time it's all over the club it's. all in the meetings. which is probably why like I said.

we do we're doing so well. as a club and as a whole whole unit. what's the what's the dressing room the. training ground dressing room culture. like. I can ask this because I've spoken to so. many players at United in particular and. especially in the Fergie areas they. always talk about the like the. self-policing culture in the dressing. room. you know like what's that like. versus other clubs yeah it's like like I. said it's yeah it's good there's other. clubs I've been at has it's been good as.

well but not. how it is in Brentford I feel like. Brentford is probably one of the best. dressings I've been in in terms of. everybody knows that drill everybody. knows that position everybody's helping. others like everybody's just like the. respect if something's on the floor tidy. pick up pull in there. like. them kind of things is key if you want. to be. achieving something big and I feel like. with that. in the change room as well as in the gym.

or in the in the dinner. is key and everybody's up for everybody. it was it's like one big family unit. 26 years old you're named brentford's. player of the season. um. you scored 12 goals in the First Premier. League season and then you scored 20. goals in your second Premier League. season finishing third in the golden. beat rankings behind Harland and Harry. Kane. that's big yeah.

it is big is Big but sometimes I don't. really. realize how big it is. because sometimes I'm at home I'm. thinking. yeah well not first in my head if you're. not first you're lost. then let my family say but look who. you're behind and look at the caliber. players that are playing in the Premier. League and you scored more than these. guys. I'm always thinking yeah but I could. have scored more and you think it's. called more than Holland.

I mean not. more but I look back on chances that. should have been a goal and I feel like. there probably is like 15 15 16 chances. that I probably could have scored or. should have scored. so if I was as clinical as Ireland was. not to say I'll beat him but I could be. a lot higher than a lot higher than 20. England. 's football team.

I saw I think I saw a post on your. Instagram a couple of weeks ago about. that being a huge dream for you. to play for England yeah. I think. everybody wants to pay for England yeah. I remember just screaming like. Gerard's name and the lampard's name. like when I'm on the field just kicking. and they said when that. opportunity was around and I was in. talks of it. just didn't it didn't feel real.

from being. Ivan from the fountain just playing out. the front getting bashed around by the. old a lot too actually having a chance. to play for England was. something I would never have jumped off. you missed out on the final World Cup. squad. um lots of circulating rumors about why. do you know why. um. I guess. I guess it comes down to.

allegations. on the Ben scandal. but I feel like. personally I felt like it was a bit of a. questionable time when they decided to. bring it all out and then when they. actually dealt with the situation come. the end of the season is kind of like. why'd you bring out then. to. and then punish me. at the end of the season. so they brought so I guess you're saying. that you suspect they brought it out at.

that time to prevent you going to play. for England I assume so I'm to make it a. bigger story ah okay. personally anyway I don't know if it's. true that how not to know what's. behind the scenes but I feel like if you. have somebody go into the World Cup. that's. supposed to be betting then it's kind of. like. a bigger story. what's the real I'm not really clued up. on this or how fa thinks the fa. the England team. play Under the fa.

yeah and the fa are also the sort of. body that brought the charges against. you yeah so they. so one might assume that they release. the charges at that point because if. they didn't then there might be some. ramifications on the England team or the. perceptions of England team or something. yeah I assume so right like I'm not too. aware of all this stuff but. I feel like it was a bit of a. coincidence when they desire to bring it. all out and then. having to be dealt with the punishment.

at the end of the season. so far after it's kind of like. I mean you know well I feel like yes I'm. banned now but. the biggest punishment for me was. missing out on playing at the World Cup. personally. I felt more hurt and. what's the word kind of like. yeah I just I just felt I felt down.

around the time. it felt like. somebody's out to get me at that time to. stop me from playing for England it was. in my head like that's just how I seen. it at the time it's like. they want to punish me for this. missing out on England. the World Cup like everybody's dream to. be playing at the World Cup. and then further down the line. ban me as well. it's kind of like. a double hit I feel.

in a sense was like I said. if he was going to do if he's gonna stop. me from going to World Cup do it there. and then and deal with it deal with the. whole situation. rather than doing that missing out on. the World Cup and then let me play the. rest of the season. and then binding me off to the season. is it is not enough in my head to be. fair anyway. I felt down about it what does that mean. in real terms if I was a flyer on the.

wall in your life when when that. information came in that was probably my. excuse me that was probably that the. lowest point. I was like with me I'll never show. nothing I'm not sure emotion too tough. but I think that was probably the. lowest point I felt. like you'd ask me about uh. yeah he's always. but that is what it is it's kind of like. I don't want to talk about it yeah damn. it hurt it did hurt.

do you cry. no I don't feel like crying solves. anything. personally that's my personal views. everybody says. to we need to show emotion you can cry. isn't this it's okay but like. I feel like I've only acquired once when. I see. my Nancy. from losing my pap. and seeing her her as much as she was.

killed me inside. and it was kind of like I didn't cry cry. but it was like tears in my eyes coming. down and it's kind of like. it was painful. do you express your how you're feeling. to anyone in your life at that point to. your partner to your family your mum. your dad when you when you find out that. you're not going to play for England and. they've you know the rumors are out. about this gambling situation do you. tell anyone how you're actually feeling. um no but people that know me know. my actions.

and how that leads to how I'm feeling. like I'd be a lot more like Snappy about. things. or I'll just be like. I can just be like a zombie talking to. me and it's not like really registering. but. my head's not really in the room kind of. thing. and that people that know me know. like. something's up something's wrong what. was the reality of the situation what. was going on inside your head. and how was it when you say down and you.

say that was the lowest point how what. does that mean in real terms. um. I wouldn't say depressed as such. but it's kind of like. not far off that. if anything towards that direction but. not. completely. because like that's still how I stay in. my head it's like. next opportunity next next day another. day is another day to.

put things right and try and be as. positive as I can. have you ever had anxiety. probably but. how I am I don't let it. get to me as much. like I'd say. the loan spells when when I'm on loan. I'm in a room on my own there's been. times I've just literally sat there and. about the TV on just just sat there I'm. just like. chilling and just looking to thin air.

and just. thinking about things. but I've never. actually I'd never like let nobody know. how I'm feeling because how I am as a. person. I feel like it it eats away at me but. I'm just always a smiley one. always like I asked people at Brent for. now on the Drake I'm making sure. everyone's fine these kind of things.

I think that's my kind of way of. beating my. emotions. um if I see this person happy for me. doing that then it kind of brings me up. to make me happy kind of thing. did you did you not speak to anyone like. a professional about about this stuff. because I always think when we bottle up. our emotions it's not like they go away. it's like almost like they they eat us. up from inside and they they come out in. other ways like you were saying. snappiness or whatever or. you know. surely there's someone around you that.

said you need to see someone yeah that's. yeah there was but as well me being. stubborn is kind of like nah I'm fine. it's fine like I'll be right next. tomorrow I'll be right later I'll be. right next week. I feel like I can speak to anyone in my. family but like my stomach is just don't. allow me to. I think a lot of men can relate to that. you know yeah 100 I feel like. that.

personally. in May 20 26th uh you did a famous tweet. do you know that's what I'm talking. about yeah I'll speak soon with no. filter. you ready to speak. um. what did that tweet mean. that was just speak on everything really. but obviously when I've done that they. went crazy and then. I think my family just said listen you. don't need to talk.

just. when you get on a pitch. that if you do the talking. but what's up damage is done you can't. talk and. it's not gonna help no situation if. anything could not damage my reputation. or my career but. just make people think. not that I care what people think is. just could put in the words that who do. you think he is that kind of thing but. it doesn't benefit no parties what. headspace were you and when you tweeted. that probably a reckless one really yeah.

how are you feeling. thinking. I don't care attitude. I'd say. kind of a defense mechanism against. pretty much yeah against everybody. like even like little things like. for the whole situation not not like my. friends my friends my friends the one I. sit with better people I chill with all. the time but it's even that one that. goes.

I don't know if it's just me thinking. side of things but it's like when I go. certain places like maybe some people. don't want to be associated with me in a. certain way of. obviously because the media kind of. thing and it's kind of like. not killing that image but it's kind of. like you're doing this guy he's a match. fixer his match fixing football the the. I'm not even like I remember at the time. when there was allegations. I wanted to go to a restaurant and I was.

like. no you can't uh we're not taking you. the restaurant a restaurant I was like. what do you mean. that's ours because the allegations. we're not allowing you in or something. like this. I was actually so confused. I was thinking for starters it's. allegations. and secondly your restaurant how can you. not let somebody introduce a bad press. That's Why They Call It Bad press. I was just baffled and even to like.

my car insurance. they wouldn't insult me due to. the whole scandal. I was just like a car insurance they. don't want me on their books because. which was baffling. I read through the the whole. um fa report many many pages I think it. was like 25 2500 pages I have it here. just to understand the case better just. so I made sure I didn't make any errors.

in my observations but there's no I. think there's actually a line in there. where the commissions say they. um didn't believe you were doing any. match fixing. it was far from match fixing yeah I. wrote that down in my in my notes that. um. They concluded that you hadn't been. match fixing or anything like that in. the report. um so that that allegation from whoever. said that the restaurant or whatever. um doesn't seem to have a basis in the. report at all I'm sure there was certain. articles on saying match fixing as well.

which is that's probably the media for. you making it a big. talking point. when the fa first Contact you and. and they ask they make a request for. information don't they so they want to. know more information this is dating. back to 2022 I believe. when you get that first Contact. how does that feel like your dad or your. agent must have told you that the fa. have been in touch well they wanted. information from as far back as 2015.

so it's kind of like. well I haven't got that uh. I had back then to give you information. but I wanted to cooperate how I can to. let you investigate what you want to. investigate. and when I was when I the club actually. pulled me into a room and they spoke to. me and said they're faving in touch with. you match fixing this and that. they want to speak to you and I said.

okay this is Brentford yeah that's okay. no problem like. then he is that have you done any bits. whilst whilst you've been at Brentford. and have you been betting on football. and I was like no I haven't I haven't. done no. bets are fixing fixing football match. fixing football like he's like okay well. therefore I want to speak to you. don't delete nothing on your phone. because there's a system like they said. they can get like old messages or.

whatever they said I said no problem I'm. not I'm not doing nothing. if they can go through what they want to. go through. and then they called you in for an. interview in May 2022. yeah and they ask. you all these questions again about what. you've been involved in. with betting Etc yeah and they asked me. certain things happen like I said. seven eight years ago. onto the top of my head. so much information in front of me at. one time.

it's kind of like as you can't remember. I can't remember and there's. I think I was in there for like what. five hours. five hours yeah. but at that time you you maintained to. them that you're not betting on football. yeah and I was I wasn't aware what what. that was what I was trying to get. you acknowledged later on that you you. basically lied in that meeting with the. fa I didn't lie I just couldn't really. remember what what they was asking for. at the time I couldn't remember until. they brought certain things in front of. me and it was kind of like okay he's.

talking about my memory and we. like I said I cooperate with everything. they wanted to do and we kind of. spoke on it and then I told him the. truth about everything one of the things. people might find surprising is they. they asked for your they asked for your. mobile phones and stuff and then they. like image your mobile phones to check. like all the messages you've sent to. people. going back a long time on the on these. phones to find out everything you've. been said and also as you said they they. ask you not to delete any messages which. you didn't from from what the commission. said.

um. but how does that feel when the fa asks. for your mobile phone and they you know. they're going to scan it. for everything it doesn't feel yeah it's. just kind of like. it's your privacy and they're like. invading it it's kind of like. I've got certain pitch on there I won't. want them to see like these kind of. things so it's. pretty much like you have to go with. what they're saying otherwise I feel. like I think you get a longer band for. not cooperating or something like this. so what what can I do yes you want to.

take my phone take my phone and all your. bank statements as well they also your. bank statements which you handed over as. well yeah. um. you hand it over I believe multiple. phones no just one phone oh just the one. yeah I thought there was a there was. some they said that was another phone. but that wasn't that much fun I had that. as well and then eventually you admit to. 232 breaches of their rules and their. favorite E8. um. which is betting over five seasons from.

25th of February 2017 debating up until. January 21. yes and. like I said there was people saying I. was match fixing but none of it was. match fixing it was just like I said. before I was betting myself to school. first. from. I think this was a while back. and it's kind of like that's not. like I'm not trying to not try and I'm.

still trying to do the right thing it's. not like I'm. smashing someone and getting a yellow. card here then everywhere. yeah and the report actually does say. that it says that you weren't you. weren't this the commission said that. you weren't match fixing which is a. completely different completely. different thing yeah they're making bets. on like games that you're either you're. playing in on yourself to school all. betting on the team when you're not in. the team which is what from what I read. which is what what happened gambling and. generally when did that start in your. life when did you start first gambling.

um I think it's just kind of like as. you're young it's like a little flutter. they call it like you're in like the. fair arcade kind of thing just. trying to win a little change or. something or these kind of things so I'd. say like. around 15. or 15 and such. and it and it got progressively worse. yeah I'd say the more money you get the. more. the higher the seats go.

that's kind of like. oh if I lose this it's fine this is. coming next month. was did you not realize you know. throughout those sort of five years when. you were betting a lot 232 breaches that. your relationship with betting was. unhealthy I think on the on the 200 and. was it for 82 breaches like that was. there was some bets in there that. ladder record making that that but I was. willing to take responsibility just to. get the process.

all over and done with because having. that hovering over me and trying to. concentrate my career is not is not the. best feeling far from the best feeling. and then Adam I've done well to finish. on. 20 goals if that hanging over me but. in terms of. thinking do you have a problem it's kind. of like you don't think of. if I lose this this is gonna happen. so it's like oh once I won this this. this and this can happen. you never think of the negatives you'd.

always think of the positives. and being on the money I was on. which affords a lot of time and it's. kind of like. it's fine I'll get there in the back end. of the month. oh that's coming back this and this. month oh he owes me this it's fine. what impact was it having on your life. betting. um. I feel like. it was just the impact it would have it. was just waiting for payday right that.

might happen through the month she. weren't prepared it. but you could spend your wage and then. wait for payday spend your wage wait for. payday yeah well I'd pay and sort. everything I need to pay for first and. then it's like I got this play with do. that it's fine. but it'll come soon. so it wasn't it wasn't like. spend this money I should be giving here. or paying on this you took care of your. I took care of what needed to be careful. and. my head is kind of like my money is my.

money for I couldn't spend it how I. wanna and. yeah pretty much pretty much like that. I've made my money. it's up to me I want to spend it. one of the one of the things that was. quite surprising is bets against bets. for your team to lose when you weren't. playing in the team. the you you must you knew bedding was. wrong right like you knew that as a. footballer you weren't allowed to bet. my knowledge of. not my knowledge of betting on football.

though I don't think I recall once. somebody coming and just giving. a talk on their experience but not you. can't bet on football. so it wasn't like I shouldn't be better. than this shouldn't be bad on that and I. feel like I think the best that on my. team to lose when I'm not playing I. think a few of the majority of those. were. within the bets that I know. about a person I think I didn't didn't. do but I still took responsibility.

of them for them so the whole process. could. get cleared up and you um you don't know. about some of these bets you're saying. because you did them through somebody. else yeah because and you did them. through somebody else because you you. knew you weren't allowed to right it. wasn't through that I didn't knew I. wasn't allowed to is that I didn't see. what I didn't want my parents seeing. while I'm doing my money. this was a point of contention in the. documents the fa said you know he's. betting through somebody because he. didn't want he didn't want the fa to.

find out you're saying you you bet. through somebody else because your. parents the male was going to the house. and you didn't want them opening up the. post and seeing it yeah that's right. essentially. that was a point I mean the commission. go go their own way on that. um and then okay so moving on from that. there's there's all these aggravating. factors in the in the document. um was he aware of the rules I think you. eventually admitted that you were aware. of the rules in terms of not being able. to bet on football. um.

going back to the days I think at. Northampton I think was it Northampton. um one of your previous chat I think. your previous chairman at the football. club was thrown out because of a betting. Scandal and then you have a relative in. your life that was also. issued with a breach of the fa rules for. betting in 2007 as well so they can. commission concluded that you were aware. of the rules and that you couldn't bet. but you sort of counteract that by. saying you didn't have I think it was it. was kind of a gray area right but I. think there was a time where. like I said the the clubs I've been at.

they were like beginning of every season. though I feel like they'd have somebody. come in but not actually tell you what. you can and what you can't bet on what. would that person say just like this is. its experiences on betting like he'd. come in and say this is uh and then I've. lost this much I've gone through this so. when if you think about Ben don't do it. so it wasn't like you can't be banned on. football or you can't be betting on yeah. you can't be better on football it was.

just his experiences of going through a. gambling stage. because uh so so you didn't know you. could you couldn't bet as a player no I. think it was a gray area something like. you'd hear you can you hit it you can't. and then there's certain things you say. you can't bet on like. I feel like it was a gray area. and you admitted in the second. aggravating factors about knowing. knowing whether you basically missing to. whether you were betting or not and in. the interview with the commission during.

the process you said that you had lied. early on by saying I don't vote on. football in an earlier interview. um but you know that was one of the. first interviews you had and you had. responded I didn't burn football and. yeah that that wasn't accurate yeah that. was when obviously they threw everything. got me I thought if I was just deny it. then it's it's all fine I wouldn't find. nothing but then. went through and then. yeah I'd meet uh. I'm admitted to what Adam.

in the fa the fourth average rate in. fact was whether the player sought to. conceal his identity when he set up his. own betting account 2017 the commission. um didn't accept the fa submission there. they didn't they didn't believe that. you'd concealed it in that regard. um whether the player deleted messages. issue number five commission concluded. that there wasn't evidence that you. deleted any messages. they they I was accused of dilemma's. yeah that's right yeah by the fa but the. commission said that they didn't have. substantial evidence for that yeah.

um kind of just I was told not to and. you didn't delete nothing from the club. the commission couldn't find any. evidence that you had deleted anything. so. um and then the phone issue we've talked. about already the last issue was around. whether you had a gambling addiction and. they brought out a psychologist called. Dr Philip hopley who looked you did. interviews with you. um he's a highly qualified and. experienced psychiatric expert according. to the commission and he interviewed you. on two occasions and he formed a clear. opinion that you had a gambling.

addiction. and accordingly the commission accepted. the findings of the doctor on this issue. and that's part of the reason that you. were given a more lenient sentence. um because Dr hopley said that you had. an impulsive uh compulsive disorder. yeah was that the first time you'd heard. of gambling addiction. yeah through this process this tribunal. yeah because I feel like. it wouldn't be in me to bring myself.

forward to. speak to one of these people. to see if I did have one. so it's kind of like like I said my. stubbornness comes comes into play on. this one it's kind of like. no fine I can stop when I want to stop. did he expect someone explain to you a. gambling addiction is since then. a little bit yeah we did speak with us. how to play on on around around one.

addiction is but. it's kind of like. you don't allow. yourself to believe it. like I feel like it's gonna stop doing. something I feel like people think in. the head I can stop with one but not not. knowing. deep down you probably can't could you. have stopped. probably. yeah it's it's I feel like it's. 50 50. you could have stopped but I feel.

like a thrill on it is kind of like. what keeps you going. because the fa though sort of. counterpointed that was that there was. periods where you you didn't you didn't. gamble so they would they were saying. that to the commission that you know. it's not gambling addiction because. there's parts of his journey where he's. not gambling or he's betting on other. things for example. um. do you still gamble now. no anything no any betting at all across. any not. has that required therapy or any sort of.

professional support I think it's kind. of. being in the public eye if I was. to be like going into these places and. these kind of things. I think it's more the embarrassment. those eyes still continue. this kind of thing. so I I wouldn't allow myself and. like you look back you I feel like he's. sit take a back seat and look up.

all the money you've lost and what you. could have went on and what and. especially now having people to provide. for it's kind of like. you can't be spending that money on this. it can go to to here or. like just manage your money bro our luck. of things and how I look at me off I see. that as. being naive. we don't really get much information do. we uh growing up about gambling. well really it had it like how to spend.

our money or tax especially I think. about you guys as like young you know 20. year olds that I just you know playing. football and then you become. millionaires because you're good at it. it's kind of different for like my. Pursuit because like building a business. you have to see a focus your Finance. people around you you have controls. budgets forecasts P L's all this stuff. so you know you're surrounded by like. money minds and brains around you when. you're building a business but being a. young 20 year old millionaire who I'm. presuming nobody gave you Financial. education.

no it's kind of like you said yeah being. having that much money at tender age. it's kind of like. what do I do with it. and. I'm not a family that comes from money. so it's not like my parents could. help me a lot with that but they they. would have their say on certain things. but it's like. you kind of have to. try and just manage it yourself. and just. assume doing this is the right thing. you don't know what you don't know.

pretty much. the bit of this case that I that I was I. was I found difficult is that using. someone else to do the best because for. me that's that points to like in that he. did know I think that's what people. would think they'd look at that again of. course 100 conceal it because I'm. thinking your mom your mom and dad ain't. opened your post at 27 years old like my. mum ain't gonna open my post no this was. it was when I was away. yeah so I know my post did go to my. parents and I feel like of course your.

parents want to be. knowing what's going on if you're. getting this letter through that's. you're not paying this or. like like I said seeing what you're. spending your money on and I feel like. because we're a tight family my mom. would worry about that. and there was actually times where she's. opened it and she's kind of said certain. things about it. and the fa had highlighted text message. you'd sent me you said to give me I. can't have that one in my name. what was the app I gambled on on your. phone this time from text messages that. they'd found that's the bit that I.

struggled with was I was like I wasn't. sure that but this chapter of your life. has clearly been. a big learning moment 100 I feel like. looking back on. what I've done what I changed some bits. probably but. is what it is and the man I'm now. continuing forward is kind of but it's. different to what I was before do you. take like when we think about. responsibility for our actions what's.

what what responsibility do you take for. all of this where you say listen. this is this is what I take. responsibility for here. um and this is also like. going back to a question I asked earlier. about like what do you wish someone had. had said you. when you first did that I don't know. those those bets five five six seven. years ago. um what's the responsibility you take. and what's the what's the lesson you've. taken from this process I think the. responsibility I'd take was yeah I was. betting on myself to the school first.

which. now you I know you shouldn't be doing. which I take responsibility and I'll. take. full responsibility for the punishment. I'm getting now so uh it was it would be. kind of a lack. and why I tell my younger self around. them kind of times it's like. manage your money but don't get mixed in. there wrong crowd I say and just just. don't follow fashion. of your own of your own mindset uh mind. frame on. what you should and should be doing or.

if you don't know look more into it and. if that's what you really want to do. look more into it and what you can and. can and can't do. it's interesting because when they were. deliberating your your punishment one of. the things that came to mind is. perception and what it would the. perception it would send to the rest of. the the game. um. do you think they they made an example. of you. I feel so yeah. do you think that's right.

I can't I don't think it's right now but. because you're a high profile Premier. League player obviously if if you get. away with doing something like this this. could other players lower levels could. also emulate it so they've got an. opportunity here to send a message 100. 100 and I feel like a lot of people. think that in terms of. if no disrespects are lower leagues but. if I was well actually we actually did. look at some cases that was somewhat. similar someone worse. and their punishment wasn't. like how mine is.

I think the fact that's the opportunity. the fact that I'm playing in the Premier. League doing well. snifferon England. kind of like right it's our chance to. punish him then people know this is kind. of. the punishment you're looking at if you. want to do. why don't it's funny because I was. actually surprised to read that in the. the. um the analysis section of this document. where it says the perception of the. impact of football betting on the. Integrity of the game is key a key. consideration when deciding on your.

sanction. which does kind of suggest that they're. quite intentional in making sure that. they make an example of you. um thereabouts in their words. um and obviously you have a huge. position of influence so that's that's. key. um. and then they submit that the FAS. suggested that you get 12 months ban as. a suspension I believe and that was. their final sanction the commission. didn't accept that. um ordinarily the commission would have.

imposed 50 15 months suspension had you. not pled guilty to the charges which. lowered your sanction and then also. you've got another. um reduction in the sanction because of. the findings from the Doctor Who found. that you had a gambling addiction which. brought your sentence down to eight. months. um and you'll find fifty thousand pounds. it's interesting because you know I'm a. huge football fan so I want to see you. play and I you're on such a role. Brentford are on such a role so like as.

a football fan although you smashed. United last year like it was so it's so. good to see like a young black English. striker tearing up the game at his Peak. it's getting to see you out of the game. it is. and I feel like like how I am a lot of. people know how I stay this is this is. nothing I I know for a fact I'll come. back stronger than this I'm better than. I was before like this is gives me the. hunger against uh recharge and come back. on on another another level like like I.

said before earlier. no time to dwell on things no time to. dwell on things and it's like. just when that first game comes and I. can play then. it's not a ball game. it's on. when you found out you you suspended for. eight months. how did that feel what's that like. um because you know you're in the peak. of your powers right now right yeah I. know it's it's painful but.

I feel like the hard part isn't kind of. not. because right now I'll be playing. football matches and I kind of be around. the players and not the football ground. and things like this and it's kind of. like. okay that's what you want to do punish. me from there but. I thought I'd keep me away from the. ground if I wasn't as strong as I was. in my head that would break some people. and then we talk about mental health and. all these kind of things and what's that.

kind of doing to. a player that's not allowed in the. environment even though you can't play. games but keeping away from the training. ground. knowing football's their life and that's. all they've done from such a young age. how is that going to help them. at all. yeah this is I completely agree with you. I think I think the sanction itself is. important because it does send a message. and I agree with that but the bit that I. just struggle with is the can't train at.

the club and we know as you you point. out there like. mental health keeping active is such an. important thing especially if you've. been playing football since you're a kid. and it's your purpose it's what you know. um so psychologically and physically. there's a a real strong case to keep. your keep you active and I've seen a lot. of people have their say on this a lot. of people think you know you could have. trained at the ground and then use that. time to educate young players on on. gambling that would have been useful but. to keep you out of the club not allow. you to train and to kind of push you out.

on your own it seems doesn't feel like. it's smart it doesn't it doesn't add up. with what. the things they push forward like. like we say the old football Community. is on big on Mental Health then the fa. go and do this and like. push me away from like my the whole. football environment like by all means. it's not. a place where I want people to feel. sorry for me like that's the last thing. that's the last thing I want and me as a.

person people that know me with no. that's not what one thing I'm trying to. achieve but so that says what if. somebody that's not as strong as me in. their head. happens to be going through this kind of. situation and that punishment is not. allowed at the training ground. like that would break them like right. now I've been not been around a training. ground it does hurt me but I just know. when I'm at the training ground train. harder be ready for the the game when I. can play. but it's.

yeah it's like I said it's not a nice. feeling and the whole purpose of. not being allowed at the training ground. is. it's baffling to me but you have hard. days. still. yeah yeah yeah I feel like everybody has. others I mean like with through this. process has there been days where like. you're ups and your downs and difficult. days where you start you have low. moments because you are away from. football the Press is on top of you. yeah I feel like I've a hard Hours hard.

two hours kind of things like in the. mornings. I'd wake up like ah come yesterday. but. getting a song active when you're there. working. it's kind of like oh yeah as much as you. don't want to do it. you've seen the long run that that time. I didn't want to get up I didn't want to. do on uh. put the work in it's paying off now. whereas if I'm. saying all tomorrow. and then tomorrow comes I'll do it next. day.

so you're still training yeah yeah still. keeping fit still doing my own thing. welcome to personal trainer yeah. personal trainer which is which is good. and it's not like a lenient one this one. one that pushes me so. I feel like I'm not got it good but I've. got the best people around me to. keep me fit and keep me going and like I. said my family is key. my family is the one that's what the. other people that's helping me going as. well and especially my children.

you're you're a mummy's boy yeah. sometimes in these moments it's it's. difficult for us but it's harder to. watch the impact has on our family right. yeah 100 I feel like. like even when the whole thing was it. was like. those allegations and the people like. going into my mum's work and just saying. certain things and. I'd be at a petrol station they scream. certain things and I'll be with my. family and my children.

and people just be like shouting dumb. things out. just like oh you pointed like certain. things that are you put the tenor on. today's game or these kind of things or. just silly image all things and how I am. I'm kind of hot-headed. but especially when families are. involved and my children are around it's. kind of like. it's hard for me not to want to say. something called do something cool these.

kind of things. it's like going through that period. right it's hard and people that you. wouldn't normally speak to or my parents. or. family wouldn't normally speak to that'd. pop up and just be like oh something. Reviving. so it's when the bad things come along. how you want to talk and find out what's. going on. whereas when I'm screwing goals or. getting big for England you don't really. want to say too much. but. that's life and that's how people are.

and we don't miss them. we see them we see the evil eyes so it's. has this process been um has it. illuminated. um things for you in certain areas of. your life certain people and some people. that their View and stuff you know. because I haven't even thinking about. the gaffer Thomas Frank he's come to. your defense multiple times. talking about how he disagrees with the. way that it's been handled the sanctions. and he thinks that you should be able to. train with the team and.

um be out there educating young kids etc. etc he disagrees with the the decision. that the commission made not just soon. so uh get out of Southgate as well he. did talk support yeah yeah I know I. spoke to him as well. but how does that feel then what does. that mean to you it feels good knowing. I've got. um then behind me obviously the England. manager and my club manager backing me. 100. it feels good and it gives me a bit of. extra strength. to. make sure when I'm back.

I'm firing. and. it gives me that bit of. hunger. not that I'm lacking it but I feel like. the extra boost I feel like okay it's on. one on back kind of thing. and the club standing by you in such a. way. has that kind of cemented your loyalty a. little bit to Brentford. yeah I feel like like I said earlier I. want a manager in a club to like really. want me and put their arm around me and. I feel like throughout the whole. situation. have done that.

you know even even the players as well. you know I spoke to loads of them. they don't agree with it but it is what. it is. and and your mum yeah she's that one is. like going back to the Tweet when I said. when I put that tweet up. she's the first person to write me a. message me and said listen. he doesn't need to do nothing. just don't do no more please I've been. saying how she's been sick for she feels. sick in her stomach for an hour long.

throughout the whole situation. and putting out there she's just. thinking it's gonna. damage me. damage her and damage the family and. things like this so I just thought okay. let me just do the talk of my feet and. when I'm back. get get the family. well they're not smiling but happy happy. again and. I'm sure they can't well they can't wait. to see the. there's some back on the pitch screen. goes.

does she does it mean the most to you to. make her happy and to make her feel good. all my family yeah. I feel like. she always just texts me randomly and. she's like she was I don't want to. bother you sometimes I just check on. what I've seen on WhatsApp to wait for. you to come online to know your okay and. alive and well and. that's just that's how my mom is like. maybe sometimes like my mum she knows. and she does she calls me random times. it'd be 12 at night it would be early.

doors just checking in I was fine I love. you so much this and that. that's our favorite one checking to see. if I'm online on WhatsApp bro with him. pestering me in our eyes but. so. I think. making them happy and making them smile. as well. is what gives me the filter do well. the Brentford fanbase. yeah strong massive as well yeah.

where I go I'll get I get love from The. Breakfast fun so. [Music]. what's your uh you're gonna get back to. football and uh you've you I can feel. you've got a certain fire inside you. yep. I think. I just not that I need to prove anybody. wrong but there's a lot of haters and. doubles out there thinking. you're gonna be saying that when he. comes back. actually they're right I'm gonna be a.

different man and even better than that. that guy that scored Them Girls before. so how'd you know. because Mom I'm built different. my mentality is different. I'm not one of these I could have been a. great player. hadn't he done this. I'm I'm gonna go beyond that. honest. like I said not a point to prove but. point to proves to myself. how would you ensure that happens like. what is it that because I think about. controllables what is it that you can.

control to make sure that you come back. even an even better player is it just. training harder is it what is it that. you're it's training harder but in my. head every time I step on a pitch I'm. thinking in my head I'm gonna score. today. I'm going to school when a chance comes. I'm gonna score. because in the game you your bands get a. chance that you should be scoring. so in my head now thinking right when I. do play and I do get that chance that I. should be scoring it has to be a goal so. it's going to be a goal well if it's not.

next won't be a goal. or if it's not it will be. I'll be two goals. you know Brentford is a fantastic team I. think of all the teams in the Premier. League if we talk about admiration I. really admire Brighton at the moment but. Brentford I absolutely think our. brilliant brilliant team really ton of. admiration for them. um there's a lot of people that are. obviously linking you to other clubs and. saying oh is he gonna join this. Manchester United all of that. how do you receive all of that you know.

all these links to because everyone's. looking for a striker Strikers are like. the hardest to find goal scorers in the. Premier League you've got Harlan you've. got Kane he's gone now now you're. technically the second best Striker. that's currently in the league on paper. so you know these big clubs are going to. come knocking they're going to say you. know Chelsea's got [ __ ] unlimited. money over here. united we need a striker how do you. receive all of that. I mean like from Young and like I said I. don't let this. all affect me obviously Ariel going on. in the background but my job is to keep.

training well when I get the chance in. the games to keep scoring and doing well. but I think everybody wants to play at. the top of the tree and not that. Bradford aren't there. but. I feel like playing for a big Club. fighting for trophies and these kind of. things everybody wants to do and if. the chance was to come along. I think I'd be silly not uh not to look. more into it but. I feel like yeah and the manager knows. that.

I want to be playing at the highest. possible level level possible. and whenever that time comes then. this would be it but I can't think of my. time at brentford's been. been good be probably one of the best. times in my career and that's a special. club like they just got something they. got a culture there which is super. special so you know that culture you. describe will get the best out of you as. a player for sure so it's like great. talent great culture equals great.

results it's like one plus one equals. three. yeah now yeah I like the next Club I go. to if I was to move it would be like. the rat club. when you say the right Club you're not. talking about Liverpool are you I heard. you're a Liverpool fan yeah a Liverpool. fan a Liverpool fan I feel you've been a. Liverpool fan your whole life. yeah I've been living for my whole life. but from Young. I liked I've liked Arsenal I like. watching Arsenal from how they play and. the kind of how passionate fans are.

but yeah level fan level boy at heart. and so Liverpool at heart love how. Arsenal play love their style their. anything about Manchester United I like. I like Barbershop when he was there okay. I liked watching United a lot when both. offers it so thank you but we do. actually need a striker so I've actually. got a contract here that Eric and. Richard Arnold would have given me soon. imagine. now listen I hope you um I I just want.

to see you back playing again because I. think I think it's a it's a gift to the. Premier League your talent and also when. I look at your story. you didn't have a straight line that a. lot of people have in football you went. up down up down up down up down and you. persevered because the talent is. you can't argue with it you can't argue. with the talent and so this whole. gambling section of your life. um it's a bit of a blip in there so I. heard all you've overcome and you've. taken taken your your punishment.

um you move on from that you admit. responsibility. yeah yeah. um. and so now it becomes the backup again. about the football. yeah like you said the Journey's been. it's been wild it's been crazy and if if. I was to read a book on. myself. I'd say this guy's done a lot I've been. through a lot and. he's still fighting and it's still. climbing to the top of the tree like. how's he managing with that with. everything that's going on what's the.

goal. you know if I if we if we have this. conversation again at the end of your. career and we sit down here and we go. man and you go damn that was a. successful career Steve what happened. I want to be playing for England and. scoring goals. I don't want to be. I played England a couple times. I want to be. the main man. Wherever I Go. and and Finland oh no we got Harry Kane. days.

probably one of the best strikers in the. world if not the best. so and that's what I'm up against. so I need to get to that level. so it's just six. working hard and keep fighting a little. Euros around the corner as well yeah and. that's another. it's another place I want to get to. which I do believe that. in my head I'm right I'm ready to get to. you so. and at Club level what are your. Ambitions there in football.

um win the win win trophies win some. silverware. I feel like. I feel like I want to play for. the highest highest level possible. playful with. playful Club that's I'm loved that not. just one of. but I feel like. like with all my moves I've not just. gone to a club before whatever or money. or whatever I've gone it's been the.

right step for me. and I've achieved something every year. every year I've just got better and. better. you wanna win the Premier League one day. that's that's the aim that's the M I. wanna win the World Cup also. on a win trophies that's like. wow. I'm being from where. I'm from. Northampton not many. people can achieve them things or be. like yeah.

he's been at the World Cup he's won the. World Cup yeah I know even then that. my mom still lives in the same house. really yeah she doesn't want to move she. likes being down. people will run there be like yeah I. have his mom lives there I do that now. but it'd be more of achievement. and I've won something like that and. like yeah I'm his mum's there Ivan comes. there all the time. I think that's kind of. kind of how we are oh I am and you can.

see like my mom's she doesn't want to. move into some big house she feels safe. and comfy. at the house where she's at and that. shows that I have another no choice put. to be grounded and you have three kids. as well yeah three little boys do you. think about them do you think about what. the Legacy you want to leave that. they're going to grow up and learn about. does that cross your mind a lot yeah. yeah it does. I want to leave Alexi that they don't. have no pressure on their shoulders to. walk into.

I just wanted to whether there is a. football or whatever industry they look. to go into which obviously I would want. to say is football. but whatever whatever they do want them. to be successful and be like. be strong like my chosen. I feel like that I'd want them I do want. them to have the same upbringing I had. like I wouldn't put into that private. school under these things because I. don't want to just give them everything. I wanted to. have to work for certain things. what advice would you give them about.

how to how to navigate say they uh they. do go into football all three of them. and they say they come to you one day. they say Dad listen I've just got a call. from the biggest club in the world. Manchester United and. I'm gonna I'm gonna accept it go go to. Manchester playing to Eric. um I need some advice dad. I'm you know I'm on my way tomorrow what. advice can you give me Dad how the. mentality as you're the best player on. the pitch. you might not be. but having that mentality will help you. play Bell.

and just have the hunger. you haven't got the hunger or the drive. you'll step behind already. I'd say like also. attitude is key. good I'll get you a long way. not just in football or work in life. quick one I discovered a product which. has changed my life called Eight sleep. and I'm so proud to say today that I had. a chat with the founder of the brand and.

they are now a podcast sponsor and one. of the things I've come to learn on this. podcast from speaking with Sleep Experts. like Matthew Walker is how important. temperature is when it comes to sleep. the temperature of your room the. temperature of your bed and also one of. the big insights I had from speaking to. some experts was that the temperature of. the room should fluctuate throughout the. night as you move through different. stages of sleep so when you first get. into bed it should be quite cool in bed. it should then get a little bit cooler. and then the temperature should increase.

near the end and that is a reflection of. what would have happened in nature once. upon a time you've probably come to. learn that I have sponsors on this. podcast that I use and products that I. love my sponsors should be a reflection. of the conversations I'm having but also. a reflection of what I'm using in my. life so to celebrate them being a new. podcast sponsor I always want to get a. discount for you guys and I've got one. go to a sleep.com which is e i g h t. sleep.com slash Stephen and if you do. that you'll save a hundred and fifty.

dollars on the Pod cover that I have on. my bed the one I'm talking about grab. your pod cover send me a DM and let me. know how you get on a quick word on huel. as you know they're a sponsor of this. podcast and I'm an investor in the. company one of the things I've never. really explained is how I came to have a. relationship with huel one day in the. office many years ago a guy walked past. called Michael and he was wearing a. heeled t-shirt and I was really. compelled by the logo I just thought. from a design aesthetic point of view it. was really interesting and I asked him. what that word meant and why he was.

wearing that T-shirt and he said it's. this brand called heal and they make. food that is nutritionally complete and. very very convenient and has the planet. in mind and he the next day dropped off. a little bottle of fuel on my desk and. from that day onwards I completely got. it because I'm someone that cares. tremendously about having a. nutritionally complete diet but. sometimes because of the way my life is. that falls by the wayside so if there. was a really convenient reliable. trustworthy way for me to be. nutritionally complete in an affordable.

way I was all ears especially if it's a. way that is conscious of the planet give. it a chance give it a shot let me know. what you think. you know we needed this this tweet the. famous tweet I'll speak soon with no. filter I understand that I came from a. place of anger like a bit defensive. whatever mood settles your mom text you. you're like okay maybe this is not gonna. help the situation there was a lot you. wanted to say right you wanted to talk. specifically about the allegations. you've decided now from what you're. saying that it's not worth it for you to. like go in and dispute things and say. this that the other's not true but was.

there anything that you do want to say. to like the football Community or just. to the world generally as a message when. you tweet that like outside of like the. stuff where we're like a bit bitter and. hurt because everything that's going on. and people are attacking you whatever is. there anything else you wanted to say. because I just want to give you a chance. just uh. um. not really like you said that most of it. come from anger and it's kind of like. everybody's against me kind of thing. but with that it's kind of like I was. more worried on people like.

thinking how I am. how I am as a person. like what they read and what they hear. rather than how I actually am but the. the people around me friends family the. only people I should be worried about. they know how I am. why don't it's expensive Bob down the. road how I actually am I probably never. gonna see him again so it doesn't matter. that why am I explaining that why am I. going out. there to give it like a back and forth.

like. I don't need to do that and it doesn't. benefit me it just benefits him and. trying to get more reaction from me. so. like you said it definitely was out of. our anger anger kind of moment it's kind. of like all right let me say distant let. me say that not knowing. it's not gonna affect it could it could. have. so it's not. I don't need to try and prove nobody. wrong or prove nobody right it's just.

focus on myself. family and. do I do best which is playing well and. scoring goals speaking with your feet. correct. I did want to talk to you about one last. thing you did a tweet as well about a DM. someone sent you yeah. um someone had dm'd you calling you a. black c word. um and you posted the Tweet. um subsequently you stopped taking the. knee during at the start of Premier.

League games and such. racism and football. do you do you still receive racial abuse. um still today yeah you do if I was to. post everything I've received that's. been racist. I'd have easily. around 100 messages. easy just real off there there there has. that increased since the sanctions were. made against you from the commission.

no because I feel like. most of it's just been rubbish that I. get a lot of people are saying but I. feel like most of it's from playing a. game and. someone's bet on you or you haven't. scored and then they come on come for. you for like these kind of things or. the fantasy league yeah football league. that you don't get enough points and. they'll come at you like this or. your score to lose that but also just. things like this why don't you stop. taking the knee. because I feel like it's it's a certain.

gesture it's not really it's lost its. purpose. and like you can see like before games. like people like run off without half of. the knee forgot about it like the. purpose isn't there no more I don't. think that's doing nothing in the game. to help stop. these kind of things from happening. more needs to be done for sure for sure. 100 all over the world not just in the. UK but we obviously saw what happened to. veniscus Jr as well in the in the La. Liga.

um and it does does feel like. if there was harsher action taken then a. lot of this stuff wouldn't be happening. even from the platforms and also from. the police. um. you know yeah the most most well some of. them. are from abroad and it's kind of like. it's not in the UK they can't do nothing. about it. and I'm like okay so what you just keep. sending from. wherever. but yes we can't do nothing it's not.

it's not us. okay so it's fine then basically you're. saying it's fine yeah it's like what'd. you do. yeah I feel like. it's lost his purpose personally anyway. and I feel like it's kind of like. puppets that people at the top were kind. of like. let's try this well let's do this keep. people quiet for a bit. just do that and. be trying. it's not trying. you're counting down the days now yeah.

that is the um it's like really good at. Christmas yeah. what kind of day counting down the days. or too often trying to be around the. boys because like. being in football prison at the moment. when I rounded boys I think it won't get. easier but it'll get a little bit easier. but not. the same was like you train a whole week. hard at the end of the week it's not. like. and go on a reward you're not playing a. match. and then is it January you can play yeah.

January the 17th you can train again I. can't play with matches oh you can play. matches yes 17 for September. I can train so. oh September you can train in September. I can train yeah okay being a club. around the boys okay I say not long yeah. not long not long less than a month yeah. it feels like ages or and then you can. play in January that's going to be a. very big game a lot of people are going. to be watching that yeah do you feel. pressure no I know I I I thrive off. pressure when it's like he surely he.

can't do that he's not gonna be able to. do it. and that's what the the pressure was. I was spoken about after the playoff. final. I'm gonna go the penalty. after the game it was like you must have. been scared like if you missed you. probably could have like. you could probably could have lost it. massive I was thinking no I can't wait. like I knew four facts I was going up. anyway 100. because it was the pressure.

and like the reward after it gives you a. bigger chance to jump into Premier. League. and more money for family so. are you trying to prove people right or. trying to prove people wrong what. matters more to you uh. proving people wrong so I can have a. little bigger yeah I like that I like. when I see certain certain tweets and. then when I do something I come back to. it and just like. a little comment and dig at the person. and there's just lots of words.

you're right you win you've been taking. names throughout this process just like. this pundit said this this person I mean. there's loads of pundits I say loads of. things it's all opinions but. when I come back school enough I'm sure. they'll. go back into the bush and back pedal on. what they say. ladies and gentlemen I'm interrupting. this broadcast with a very special. announcement two years ago I started. writing a book based on everything I've. learned from doing this podcast and. meeting all of the incredible people.

that have had the privilege of meeting. but also from my career in business from. running my marketing businesses my. software business my investment fund and. everything else that I've been doing in. business and life and from this I've. created a brand new book called The. Diary of a CEO the 33 laws for business. and life if you want to build something. great all become great yourself like the. guests that I've sat here and. interviewed I ask you please please. please read these 33 laws the book I. always should have written if you like.

this podcast this book is for you and it. is available now in the description of. this podcast below and every single day. until it's out later this month one. person that pre-orders it that takes a. picture of their pre-order uploads it to. their story on Instagram or social media. and tags me will win a Gold version of. this book signed by me and there's only. 33 copies of those available. so pre-order it now tag me on social. media when you do. and 33 if you're going to win a very.

very special book. we have a closing tradition on this. podcast where the last guest leaves a. question for the next guest not knowing. who they're going to leave it for sure. so they wrote a question for you here in. this diary. the question been left for you is. when have you most. had to face your fears. Poppy the bun. because. I think loads of things going through.

your head it's like. like I said if I'm having football at. such a young age. not knowing if there's loads of things. that God for your head like what. how are you going to cope with things. like at the time I was kind of like. not wary I feel like I'm a confident. person but going out in certain places. the topic is gonna be about the whole. Scandal that's going on. people gonna talk about it but I'm with. me it's like do they want to talk about. it they're thinking do I want to talk.

about it. um not scared in a way but it's kind of. like it's an awkward kind of meeting. kind of thing but yeah it's an elephant. in the room yeah yeah yeah and then it. comes to the point where it's like well. they'll say something like oh I bet you. can't do that and it's kind of like oh. that kind of thing but I'm like yeah. what's done it's done like you could. talk about it. then I talk about it then I mean it's. cleared so I feel like. not knowing what people thinking about. you not people not knowing what people.

want to kind of talk to you. not knowing if you're going to be fit. when you come back or. not knowing what you're going to do you. whilst you're off at loads of things. going to your head and it's like it. hasn't crossed your mind you might like. lose your form or something. that that actually did yeah it did at. the time but like I know I can get. myself and go swimming uh positions so I. don't feel like. that that would be such a big issue but. it does cross your mind like whatever.

the school within the first five games. six games. you're gonna think that the world's. ending kind of thing but yeah I think. that was the fear of these kind of. things not knowing what's next kind of. thing and as the days have passed it's. got easier right. it's got easy in ways but it's got. harder and like oh okay. easier than like too long around the. boys and that's kind of like my head's. fine now I'm at the club. doing what I do best and enjoy but then.

it's kind of like. at the end of the week I can't play. games whilst uh the game was kind of. like. it's like torture watching yeah he's. torture like I hate watching games not. when I should be on the pitch. do you think you deserve the punishment. you got. um I mean. if that's what the rules are. then so be it that's the punishment I. should have got but yeah looking on the. other cases.

and the fact that they were. lower leagues. it's kind of like. why did he get that and I got this. is it because he's there and I'm here. but now I feel like. if this is a punishment for doing what. I've done to make that make sure the. next person gets that make sure next. person gets that like make it all fair. fair and correct. what. I think it was fair but. it is what it is.

I can't. see. I can't change nothing now I can't. that's not put me focuses on. if it's fair or not that isn't help no. situations yeah I think it's possible to. take responsibility for your actions I. did that but also to think that it was. unfair because they I think maybe. rightly so they are they are making. making an example of you because those. lower league players that would never. send a message would it of course so.

with the big wages and the big status. and the popularity and all the upsides. comes this other thing which is like. bigger sanctions bigger publicity bigger. it's more of a talking point and more. and more of a story but and I'll tell. you what you go out there and you start. bagging goals. yeah ain't nobody gonna be talking about. oh anything else that's that's another. reason I want to be scoring goals so. four things right and that people talk. about my goal scoring rather than. rubbish past.

I think you I think you're gonna I think. you're gonna go back to Brentford and I. think you're gonna [ __ ] tear it up. um because I sense a real deep Drive in. you that I've not seen in many people. um a real sense of like self-belief and. conviction even what you're saying about. the penalties there like I played at. soccer Aid and they came over to me and. asked me if I wanted a panel you know. I went to the back of the group I swear. of that so hard this year I played this. year I got injured before the game at. Old Trafford but I played in training. and we had to do a penalty issue out.

Potch was the manager and um I just said. to myself Steve Stafford and take one. and this was to decide who got which. dressing room I took one I scored it and. then the next day I pulled my pulled my. hamstring got the grade three tear but I. was proud of myself for stepping up and. doing it yeah. I think if you have in your head I'm. gonna do this you have a better chance. of thinking. what is this there's no point thinking. that I even was yeah back is 100 like it. was. Strikers I've played with especially.

strikes I play with now. because he's I'll say I'll say his name. Brian good because he knows he's like my. little brother. I said something like. when he missed a chance he gets so angry. with himself saying bro it's fine you. you're not a robot you can miss chances. when the next chance comes you'll score. and he he's he's got a lot better at. that and he's been scoring so. I think just. don't dwell on things but you've got a. big trunk coming up January yes and I.

hope you score oh I know I I know I know. I know I do well and like I said this is. just another hard one. my bumpy road but. it's all good it could be worse. Ivan thank you thank you for um thank. you for the time thank you for the. inspiration you've given me. um I feel like I understand you. feel like I understand you and listen we. all make mistakes in life I think it's. really important we've all made mistakes. having so many mistakes I think it's. yours are obviously more publicly.

broadcast because of who you are and. you're at the top of the game you're the. peak of your powers but um I think it's. important as you've said that you you. take responsibility for it you move on. and you let the football do the talking. and I think that's exactly exactly what. you have done and that's what um I'm. really excited to see from you going. forward as I said because you're special. you've got a very special talent you've. got a very special mentality and a very. special talent to match it and uh. we can't let that go to waste so we need. to it will go to waste for sure some of.

the people around me. they won't allow it to go toys so. good. thank you so much for your time bro. means a lot to me that you um came here. and spoke to me and uh I'm a big fan and. I really do hope you end up at. Manchester United one day. thanks for having me thanks thanks it's. been good it's been good to talk through. things and. maybe this can help the next person if. there was to think twice on doing side. of things or. maybe to open up about sort of thing so. yes. probably it's probably easiest good.

effects off me like I said. quick one you guys know that for years. now my office is quite literally been. everywhere on a plane in the back of my. car in a terminal in an airport or on a. train you name it I've probably worked. there ever since I started my first. business at 19 years old I've been. working on the move all I need is Wi-Fi. a desk and my headphones and I'm set and. one of the places that has always had my. back when I'm struggling to find an.

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