How She Built Her Confidence, and Then an Empire with Krissy Cela | E57

honesty really really matters and i. think much of the reason why i started. this podcast was to give. the world the much needed honesty it. needs but often doesn't get. you hear success stories that are. glamorized and that are oversimplified. but. that's rarely rarely the case this. week's guest. will give you exactly that raw. unfiltered honesty. like you've never heard it before and in. some points honestly that might make you. a little bit uncomfortable. it made her uncomfortable it made me. uncomfortable this week i'm joined by.

chrissy. chella she's an unbelievable and in my. opinion. heavily underrated entrepreneur running. multiple. multi-million pound businesses she's one. of the. uk's number one fitness creators. athletes whatever you want to call her. she's an author her book is coming out. in january. she has a remarkable story one that. starts from very very humble. beginnings as an immigrant that was. bullied on the playground in the uk. and what you'll find out about her is. inspiring it's captivating.

it's real one of the most amazing. conversations i've ever had on this. podcast. and i'm so glad that we can bring you. her story. in this way told with total honesty. without further ado i'm stephen bartlett. and this is the dire rover ceo. i hope nobody is listening but if you. are then please keep this to yourself. as i did a little bit of research on you.

and i got to. sort of uncover your story and i got to. stalk you a little bit on social media. um the more and more that i observed and. sort of looked. past your instagram feed the more. i saw a pretty remarkable. entrepreneur and business person and one. of the thoughts that came to my mind and. you know this podcast is all about. speaking the truth and being honest was. this question which is. do you think that you get the credit you. deserve.

as an entrepreneur that's the question. um it's not about me i haven't built a. community about me i've built a. community about. helping other women and i think that. it's never fully been about me and. the credit that i get is seeing other. women. thrive and succeed and come together. and that for me is enough credit i don't. need an award i don't need someone to.

say oh my god you're the best business. woman in the world. for me when i see or when i read another. woman's story. that for me is enough i don't need. anything else. so yeah i do so because i was when i i. was watching some of your stories on. instagram. and you you run an office right. of people you run multiple businesses. right. and i typically think that people. are very very quick to arrive at. judgement when they see. a pretty young lady who's worked out on.

instagram who has a big following. and they t and this is just being. completely honest they tend to come to. judgments very quickly a conclusion a. conclusion yeah and that that. conclusion and that narrative or that. image that they form of that person. i've come to learn is usually severely. wrong. 100 it is and you know it's funny you. say that because i've also been on. multiple dates with people. and you know they see my instagram. following and they automatically assume. that oh it's because you get your ass.

out that's that's. that's why you make money or it's. because you get your ass out that's why. you've built what you've built. and the truth is if i did that and if. that was the. fundamental reason then i wouldn't have. a team of 30 people. in one company and building another. company that sells out every time we. restock. it goes past being a pretty face or a. pretty picture. it goes past being a nice body it's. about the message that you have it's. about what you want to. truly truly put out in the world and i.

think if people make that conclusion. it says more about them than it does to. me does it make you feel though. and i want you to be really honest here. how does it make you feel i think. okay like i'm gonna be complete honestly. i think it's one thing to be judged and. it's another thing to be judged as a. woman. okay so why is it that when you see a. handsome man. you don't come to a conclusion that he. only got what he got because he's. handsome. why is that as a woman i have to justify.

myself more. i have to explain myself more all the. time. it's draining i shouldn't have to. explain myself. my face my body all of this stuff it's. just. external you know and. i think that can i swear on this. question. i smell my youtube all the time some. people get offended and i'm like listen. this is this is who i am. something else yeah no it pisses me off. it.

pisses me off but at the same time it's. like it feeds me. right you know it feeds me like piss me. off even more because that's how i. thrive you you saying to me i can't do. something you saying to me that i only. got there because of this and that. it pushes me more to achieve more. and yeah i mean it's their problem not. mine i guess. there's a lot of you know let's just for. a second imagine that. that judgment of you was correct and. that you'd got here because you were. pretty or whatever or you're.

you know you have a great physique or. whatever it was. um what would they be missing what is. the truth why why. did you get here because there are lots. of very pretty people out there right. yeah um but for some reason you made it. here and. i've seen your businesses i've looked. into them you have. pretty phenomenal businesses and you're. running big teams of people in big. offices so. like there's two kind of thoughts to. this but i think the central question. that i'm trying to. answer for myself is what is it about.

chrissy. that differentiated you your approach. your message and the way that you. connect with people. from all of these other people that are. trying to do what you're doing. i think in all honesty if i'm if i'm. answering that question from a personal. perspective. i've always been 100 honest and. transparent with who i am. you're not gonna find a hidden secret or. some nasty surprise like. this is who i am you literally either. take it. or you leave it and i'm not going to try.

and be anything else. to fit in for anybody else you know. and for me when i started my fitness. journey when i. you know moved countries to england i. never felt like i had a sense of home. i never felt like anybody understood me. so to be blessed with a platform where i. can build a community. and bring women together globally you. know this is this goes beyond. me this is about bringing women together.

that have. been abused that have had you know. mental. disorders eating disorders such bad. things you couldn't even imagine what. women have gone through and have told me. to bring them all together and to create. this. tribe you know that for me. is like i think that's what people see. yeah and i think that's what people. believe i want to do because i genuinely. do want to do that. and you know one of the things that. sorry to interrupt there but i really.

wanted to. one of the things you said was about you. being yourself. and i asked you that question actually. with. a bit of a preconceived idea of what the. answer would be and. when i watch you on instagram the feel. that i get from you versus. pretty much everybody else other than. one other person i've got to be honest. and he sat. in this chair and he's actually coming. back is joe wicks like when i met joix. he is the guy you meet off off. off air or whatever is the same guy and. he's so [ __ ] genuine.

and all he cares about is like genuinely. helping people but the reason i said to. joe i said i think the reason you're so. successful. is because you are yourself and. you will share it all and when i was. watching you on instagram and watching. some of your videos. you cater to the 99 of people's lives. which is the. real [ __ ] yeah i saw your video this. week you did on your story. you're waking up and you're saying. listen i don't want to wake up today and. most people don't admit that because you. know a lack of perfection is sometimes. perceived as weakness so. i wondered how that resonated with you. in terms of the importance of.

your success originating from chrissy. being her truer self. yeah you're you can only be the best. version of yourself right. and i think if you start trying to be. something else soon enough it will come. out. or you'll start to fall through the. cracks or it will slip. something will slip and you can only. uphold that image and. you know that presence for so long. before it really just [ __ ] up. so the only thing you can do is be the. best version of yourself.

and this is what i tell people all the. time it's never been about other. people's perceptions of you. it's always been what you think about. yourself and if you. truly truly believe in yourself. you won't want to be anybody else you. want to you won't want to be fake you. wouldn't want to be. trying to please everyone my job isn't. to please everyone were you always at. that point. no tell me about that oh my god no i. mean. i remember when i was in a relationship. i was 16 years old i was like i'm gonna. marry this person i'm so in love.

like this is it uh and then he cheated. on me and i was like oh [ __ ] this is not. it it's his name. no he does not deserve the air time i'll. tell you that much. but i was heartbroken and. i was trying so hard to please this. person. you know i was trying so hard even in. school i know it sounds petty but i was. trying so hard to fit in. all the time all the time. i remember like this is so this is not.

cute on my end i'ma be honest with you. i remember being at school and i'm. foreign okay like. i'm mediterranean we're hairy okay. and i had a no i had a moustache and the. girls used to rip me for it. and i was so sad i was like oh my god. why am i not like. these pretty english girls like i don't. understand like i used to feel so shitty. about myself. constantly trying to like fit in and. then when i got cheated on i was like oh. my god. it must be because i'm not pretty enough.

it must be because i'm not sexy enough. [ __ ] that that's draining what do you. mean i constantly have to be something. else for someone else. i'm never gonna be happy and i i wasn't. happy for such a long time. so yeah i just i just fully like expose. my moustache story there. so let's take us from mustache to. self-confidence. um what was that journey and what. changed your uh. your your self-esteem and your. self-confidence what helped you.

get that confidence in yourself i think. for me it was can we just i think that. should be the podcast title master. no no seriously even sarah doesn't know. that. i used to have him no guys i'm gonna be. honest with you okay. like i don't give a [ __ ] i had a. moustache growing up. okay and all the girls used to rip me. the [ __ ] up they used to be like uh. your man your boy like honestly. [ __ ] [ __ ] man and i ate my school.

dinner. for six months in a toilet because i. didn't have any friends. do you think that experience is part of. the reason you are who you are today. 100 like honestly. it's pretty impossible to to break me. and when you've broken me understand. that you've really. like broken me down because it takes a. lot now. was that we talk about the mustaf. mustache thing is if it was. this trivial thing but i'm guessing what. you're saying is you were bullied in. school. yeah but at the same time it's not like.

i was constantly bullied like i think. i don't know a lot of us go through. awkward stages in school trying to make. friends trying to be with a cool gang. trying to do this try and do that then. you almost become. like mean as well because you're so hurt. by everybody else that. you only yeah so. i think you know like i remember. walking into sixth form one time and a. lot of personal things. happened in my life and no one wanted to. be around me at that point. and i just hated everyone around me.

and i was full of anger constant anger. and hate. you know and i didn't want to be that. person anymore especially after being. cheated on i didn't want to be that. person anymore. and i remember being on the train one. day. because i used to work in potter's bar. at the time um. in this little men's boutique like. retail shop and i was coming back home. and i remember like the penny dropped. and i was like. i can try so hard to be sexy and cool.

and all this stuff. other people but i'm not doing anything. for myself. and that's where the quote do this for. you comes from. because i signed up to the gym that day. and then i'll walk straight back out and. then go back for two months i'm not. gonna. lie to you i was signed up and like i'm. gonna do this i'm gonna do this i know. what to do. signed up didn't come back for two. months i was actually actually hanging. back i don't know what to do. why didn't you go because i was scared i. was like who i was like who do you.

who do you think you are crazy trying to. be like. a fitness girl you don't know what. you're doing you know. this was like six years ago you don't. know what you're doing. go back home relax right relax chill go. to work. study relax at some point you must have. changed your mind. yeah i did i did and evidently i did and. i was like uh. okay now i need to do this like what am. i doing i'm. so lethargic i'm tired all the time i'm. not strong. i was never like um overweight or. underweight i was just.

tired all the time and drained. especially mentally. so when i got into the gym i remember. looking at the leg press machine and i. was like. what is this transformer i don't know. what the [ __ ] to do with this machine. and everybody else around me seemed to. kind of. know what to do and then there was like. men there. and the women were on the cardio. machines and the men were at the weights. i didn't care about the cardio machine i. was so intrigued by the weights. i was like what why do men go there what.

is that about. men that go there and women go there i. want to go there. and i didn't know how to use weights i. didn't know what i was doing i was. training. i didn't have anything like no one was. on instagram at the time. no one was teaching the way social media. has literally opened up a book full of. information. and free content and we didn't have that. at the time i started you know i didn't. know what i was doing it's how did you. i learned you learned i just learned i.

just was like. you know what i'm just going to do this. and i kind of i kind of got addicted to. the feeling of. how completing a workout made me feel. and i started going again and again and. i started learning because what was it. doing for you going. it was giving me my therapy therapy. from what from life from. my reality from the fact that i. was so depressed or with who i was and.

so angry at the world. and everything the world had done to me. and the only time i felt like i could. escape. was at the gym which is so crazy. because the gym is like a chore for. people i've got a [ __ ] train today. but i went there and i escaped. it was therapy and no one could take. that feeling away from me. not an ex-boyfriend that cheated on me. not a mean girl at school.

not a horrible boss no one. isn't it funny that so much of you know. when you speak to people that have. achieved great things. it all seems to have been sparked by. like an earlier catalyst of. being bullied or feeling insecure and or. inadequate. in some way i see the same in myself the. reason why i am successful. without a shadow of a doubt is because. the feeling of. being broke and being inadequate in the. area that i lived in. and having all the windows on my house. smashed for a decade and.

the grass being six foot high and but. living in all of these around all of. these white people zero black people at. my school other than my brother. and my other brother that feeling of. inadequacy. put pressure on me for like 15 16 years. and so my obsession as i wrote in my. diary 18. was i'm gonna have uh a million pounds. before i'm 25. i'm gonna have. a range river is going to be my first. car right couldn't even drive yeah it's. so funny i did the same. right i swear and it's so funny you say. it was the only black man in your school.

because i was the only foreign guy on. mine. i was trying to contend with this whole. idea of having curly hair i was like i i. started relaxing it when i was 12 so. it'd be straight. and it and and i look back and i think. if i hadn't have gone through that in. the way that i had you wouldn't be where. you were not a [ __ ] shadow of a doubt. and and it's like that pressure releases. at some point. in different ways i could have ended up. in prison right my my friend said my. best friend said to me at 18 he said. steve and i remember where i stood when. he said he said you're either going to. be. a millionaire or you're going to be in. prison and i hit me like a ton of bricks.

because he was telling the truth. i cared so much about escaping from that. pressure. and from that life that it was going to. channel itself into something so tell me. about your diary what did you write your. day. oh god i remember so funny right. i remember i wrote down and i will never. ever forget. i wrote down i'm going to be someone one. day. i wrote i wrote that down and then i. remember you went. you have blackberries yeah all right. back in the day and i used the right of.

my blackberry. and i just believed it. and anyway when i went to the gym and. kind of figured it out along the way. um i fell in love with someone. at the gym like i was going he's now my. ex-fiance by the way everyone. we're no longer together but he. is a very important person in this story. because when i met him i was at rock. bottom.

but i was also trying to find my feet. and i was becoming more confident in. myself. and that confidence confidence did grow. and attract the person that i was. supposed to be with at the time right. because i do believe your your vibe and. energy attract the people that you have. around you right. and i remember he was driving me to work. one day because i was waitressing. and i looked at him and i said i don't. know why i started instagram at this. point. had like 50 000 followers i started.

instagram. in all honesty i started it just to see. how i looked doing exercises. and hollywood recorded me and i was like. oh my god i'm gonna break my back i. don't know what i'm doing i need to fix. my form. but somehow people started loving it and. anyway. he was driving me to work and i go jack. i don't know why but i. feel like we're gonna achieve something. by helping women. and generally said to me he goes yeah. whatever man you get to work i'll come. pick you up.

i was like no i feel it and i started. crying. crying streams of tears he's like what's. wrong with you i was like no i believe. it i don't know what it is this is. feeling i can't explain. never had that feeling before and. here we are today what do you think that. feeling was. belief where did that belief come from. me. i just believed in me so much that no. one not even. you know the person i was with could.

sway me another way. and i do think a lot of that comes from. persevering in the gym and growing that. discipline. and growing evidence right yeah that you. could right yeah because when you're. when you start doing something. good for yourself training was good for. me right. you start to build these disciplines and. habits and consistencies. and they transfer in other aspects of. your life. it's like a domino effect so.

i started becoming more disciplined at. university i didn't need. 10 cans of red bull to stay awake i was. focused. um i would excel all the time. and it wasn't because i put in extra. hours it was because i was so hyper. focused. where i was with who i was i was present. and if it wasn't for the gym i wouldn't. be able to have done that. so your ex fiance yeah jack. do you think you would have met him had.

you not. built the confidence within yourself or. started to build a confidence within. yourself that the gym had given you. do you think you would have been ready. quote-unquote to have that relationship. with him at that time. if you were the old chrissy no um. and if i did if i was with someone. at the time i wasn't so confident it. would have been the wrong person. because you attract the energy that you. have you attract what you believe in. yourself. if you're constantly negative about. yourself if you're constantly just.

trying to. make yourself believe you're you're just. not worthy you're always going to. attract that. and don't get me wrong there was. like dates in between jack obviously. when i wasn't with him by the way i mean. no i mean like after the guy that. cheated on me i had like went through. i went for a phase i went through dayton. and it's always the wrong guy i was the. wrong guy. and then it was i realized it's because. i'm trying to find happiness in other. people. constantly trying to find happiness of.

people and then when i started focusing. on myself. he came along. you know a lot of women when they're in. the situation where they're lacking. confidence or self-worth or they're. feeling like something is missing. will and this isn't just women this is. men as well yeah right. they'll think that the answer is a. romantic solution yeah right. is it no it's not um. i've been there i've done that and. obviously i'm speaking from personal.

experience you could find someone that. really helps you you know you could. genuinely find someone who. inspires you motivates you pushes you. and that's. so remarkable and if you do find that. person don't let them go. you know but unfortunately if you have. so much. self-hatred you are never going to be. satisfied in the relationship that you. are in because. you constantly have to find that person. to give you that happiness. you're constantly waiting for that. person to do something for you stable. right.

it's unstable it is a lot of dependency. and um i think that the most rel most. important relationship you're ever going. to have is going to be with yourself. because when you go to bed at night and. you're in your own little thoughts up. here. right that's you and you that's you and. you. so you've got to fix that up here first. before you go trying to find a. a person to share your life with you. know. and you know so you end up you know.

jack ends up proposing yeah you you. build a business together which is a. topic in and of itself which you're. you're still. working together with him on now yeah. and then at some point you both decide. in a very you know i've listened to your. story so you decide in a very. amicable mature way that this situation. isn't making both of you right. happy yeah and there was a sentence you. said where you said um. you and jack grew apart which i found. quite curious and i find it curious. because on this podcast we've we've been.

talking a lot about monogamy. for whatever reason and this idea in. fact the last guest we had on dr arya. who was you know who people have been. really really blown away about um. he he was cheated on by his partners you. know and he found out in a really. horrific way that she was pregnant with. another man. yeah i listened to that okay and so on. that sentence about. growing apart this makes me ask you the. same question about monogamy if it's. possible for you to meet someone and. grow apart you know especially you know. because everybody's growing in some way.

um what are your thoughts on monogamy. having been almost. to the altar with someone what are your. thoughts on monogamy and. i can i be honest i mean. please you never have to ask permission. again to be honest. i've never said this ever and i'm a. little bit nervous to say this. but i when i was with jack. i thought that that was my person. and i genuinely felt it in my heart and. my soul i never questioned it once right.

and we grew apart and that's because. a lot of people don't know what was. going on behind the scenes last year. when i launched toner sculpt with jack. we had a lawsuit against. us you know no one really knew about. that. you know 50 grand in lawsuits trying to. get our app that we. we built just to be ours and then build. it from the ground up that's why we had. to. refurbish and relaunch the programs. because everything is now built. home grown in our offices with our.

technology right. and do you know how much pressure that. adds to a relationship. i can't imagine and you're going home. and you're like what do you mean you. don't do this. what do you mean you didn't do that. hating each other resenting each other. because you think they're to blame. he thinks you're to blame i think he's. to blame. right and it's going to take a. very very special person. to fit into the shoes that jack left. you know he is such an incredible man.

in every aspect works hard is caring is. loving as ambitious. is everything a woman would want in a. man unfortunately we grew apart. and it is unfortunate because i. genuinely. loved him and still do love him. unconditionally i'd give him my kidney. if he needed it and. it would take someone very very special. and confident to fill that space.

up and i'm not gonna hold my breath. does that make sense i'm not gonna hold. my breath i'm gonna. you know let's just see where it goes. you think it's possible. um i think it's possible i think. anything's possible. i just think that it's gonna take. someone with a hell of a lot of. confidence and someone. that understands that i don't need. anything else but effort. and time from them i don't need your.

money i don't need your gifts. i don't need so you're saying. you think that jack's shoes will be. difficult to fill and it's almost like. you're setting his shoes. as the standard of what you're looking. for in the future so it kind of begs the. question. well you've got two feet that fit those. shoes perfectly jacks. so why isn't he filling those shoes. i think if anyone turns around and says. to you that i. work with my partner and we run a.

company of 30 people and hundreds and. thousands. of subscribers and you know an. ever growing company and we're so in. love. i i really literally will look at them. and be like how did you make that happen. working and being romantically involved. with someone is difficult. because let me tell you something when. you come home from work. you're coming home from work with the. same person what do you think you're.

going to speak about when you get home. work what do you think you're going to. speak about. um after you have sex. work the work i'm being honest like. you you live and you breathe your. company jack is an entrepreneur and. himself. jack is a co-founder jack built this. with me. right yeah so if i'm going through all. those things as an entrepreneur as a. co-founder. he is as well i don't know if you're.

answering the question chris. but i am answering the question it. doesn't work it doesn't work because you. work together yes. it doesn't work together it would have. probably worked. isn't that a shame when i when i um. when i first met jack i have never felt. that way about someone before. and i never once questioned our. relationship or i never once questioned. whether i didn't want to be with this. person. and it's funny because when we hire new. people at tone and scope they obviously. know.

mine and jack's relationship and a lot. of employees tend to get a bit nervous. they're like are the co-founders going. to be better are they going to be nasty. to one another. and you know what they always say it's. insane how much respect and love they. have for one another it's actually a bit. worrying. how much respect and love we have for. one another and. had we not had tona sculpt we would have. 100 be married by now. probably expecting a first child is jack. in a relationship. i don't know we don't speak about stuff.

like that. i don't know if he's in a relationship. okay so here's another thing. jack's made it pretty clear he's been. like i don't know who i'm gonna find. that's. like you and you said the same to me. today and i've said the same thing about. him. um and another thing is i've been. with him for five years right i was with. him for five years i still work with. him in a normal situation you break up. and you. go separate ways go separate ways you. don't speak you don't see unless you're.

stalking each other. which i would because i'm a weirdo so. i'd stalk you for a bit until i got. over you but what i'm saying is i see. him every day. so it's like how can i ever forget about. you you're always there. i speak to you every day i'm on the. phone to you every day we make executive. decisions together. every day i still go to you for advice. every day but why is i don't look at you. and want to kiss you. right do you no i don't i don't.

i don't not not right now anyway but i. don't. to be in a relationship you have to have. that flair come on you have to have that. spark that. you you make me feel some type of way. and i know over time it will pass. and whatever but it sounds so weird but. i see him. almost like a best friend but then. everyone always tells you to marry your.

best friend. so maybe have i got relationships all. wrong. right so i don't know. i don't know but all i'm saying is the. person that i'm with. and next with or whatever. they don't necessarily have like they're. not competing. because that's horrible you don't want. to compete kind of. somewhat unavoidable though especially. in chrissy's brain. but at the same time it's like jack. was is the most genuine person.

like would always take care of me always. listen always put me first. would always want me to to succeed it. was every. check check check check check but why. are we not together. i don't i me myself i still don't have a. a fundamental reason as to why. you know i read the comments and people. were like. of course she would leave jack now she's. got like.

millions of followers and has got money. of course she was she's gonna go. marry a rich arab man i was like. what you clearly don't know me you. clearly don't know me. but um i don't have a rich arab man as a. boyfriend by the way. i just want to clear that up but i don't. know if jack's dating i i don't know. what he's doing all i all i do know. is that i want him to be so happy could. you imagine life without him.

oh no well that question just took my. breath away a bit. no i couldn't no i turned around. tomorrow said he said i'm leaving the. business i'm moving. no i'd be absolutely heartbroken. i'd be i'd be absolutely grieving. i couldn't imagine life without jack but. then again. don't they say the most. important person in your life as a. business owner is your. business partner you almost speak.

special bond you always speak to them. more than you speak to the partner. you go to bed with but it's also and the. reason i asked that question. is i remember asking myself that. question about my business partner many. years ago. and i'm embarrassed and i thought to. myself what if they died. and it was like well then there's no. point me doing this business anymore. which is a really weird thought i had i. thought well then they were such a. fundamental part of the purpose and the. journey. and i it made me question you know why. i'm actually doing this and. i think with jack i think it's probably.

true that um. a huge part reason why you do this. business is because of him you've been. through so much. together yeah i couldn't imagine doing. it with someone else. yeah but i also can't imagine doing it. without him and you've been through hell. and back together with. jack right yeah and that strengthens the. relationship like. you know so much been through so much. with jack. um you do five years with someone shit's. gonna happen shit's gonna hit the fan. is it is it a possibility to be back.

with him. um like i've always said you can never. say never. and anything is possible however. if jack was to find someone right. and say oh like chrissy you know out of. respect he would have to sit me down. because we work together and be like i'm. with someone now. and if i see that that girl is treating. him so well. and looking after him in all honesty. that's all i hope.

would you be a little bit jealous. probably. i mean i'm not gonna lie probably would. but and would you then question. the decision oh no i'm not the type of. person that if if. if i if i don't have you no one else can. on you know me and that's just weird. i mean you'd go home that day and start. thinking oh i would go home and be like. oh like damn you'd set reminders off. like alarm bells will start going off i. absolutely don't regret ending it.

i've learned more about myself in the. year and a half of parting ways with. jack than i did in five years of being. with him. facts i don't regret ending it would i. feel some type of way if he were. he was with someone else you'd be. absolutely lying to yourself if you said. no. come on mate like we buddy was about to. get married. we own a company together of course. you'd feel some type of way but would i. be jealous no would i be happy if he was. happy hell yeah i would because.

his happiness makes me happy is. in the future a possibility of me being. with him again i don't i don't know. how can i how can you possibly answer. that question when. the possibility of me parting ways with. him five years ago was. not even a vision i can't answer that. question. but if he was to find someone and be. truly happy and in love. and she was a good egg i'd be happy and. it's possible to be happy for someone. but also for it to suck at the same time. 100 but that's only because you just.

feel some type of way but deep down you. just want them to be happy. i think he will find someone i think. he's going to find someone who's really. genuine. are you smiling i wasn't smiling you're. smiling no i wasn't smiling i think you. are. i think you were smiling i think you. felt some type of way by saying that. no i really do i swear i. but yeah i've been honest enough now. till now to like lie. but but if when he does right. when he does which he will i just want.

one thing from that girl. if you're listening out there to jack's. future wife i just don't want her to. sway. he's a mind on our business. does that make sense yeah oh leave tone. and sculpt you don't need it anymore. that's horrible like don't interfere. don't need to get involved love all. right. look at you but it's true. like i'm sorry but when i'm with a guy. if he starts telling me what to do with.

my company. or if he starts telling me or it's me or. jack i'd be like. yeah get a grip it's jack. if you give me an ultimatum i don't want. to be with you. you know what this thing so i was i was. thinking about this earlier. and i've got some friends i wouldn't. call them necessarily friends but people. that i know personally. and they would hate because they're so. insecure as men. they would hate the idea of dating. someone as. self-made and successful as you mm-hmm.

and it's a certain type of insecure man. i'm laughing because i already know. already been there. really yeah certain type of insecure man. that really is seeking to control. that would would not like a chrissy. because. you can't be controlled you can't be. controlled through gifts through. x and you've been there yeah i've been. there i've. done that like you know i remember one. time. go for it sarah was like yeah.

sarah was my pa she's like yeah open up. but i remember one time when i was. speaking to this guy. you know after jack and i was going to a. lathe this was one of the biggest photo. shoots. for tone and scott this was you know to. refurbish the entire app and everything. like. brand new look brand new everything so. much money went into this i think. nearly 90 grand in production that's a. lot of money. [ __ ] to the money [ __ ] ton of money.

yeah i mean i can put down two mortgages. for that yeah so as you can see like. what but when we do things we do things. right i. tone and sculpt and that's facts um. so i remember he sat down he was like. i don't know i just feel a bit you going. i said what do you mean what do you. think i'm gonna do. go and go and you know. go crazy with other men in la i'm going. to work. oh i don't know i don't know really. insecure. and i found myself thinking it was me.

i was like wait a minute and then i sat. back and i was like no that's you. you're insecure that's a problem that's. not my problem. when la had the best time ever with my. team we had the most incredible time. you know met the most incredible people. came back most incredible campaign. and i felt good but had i let that. man sway me. maybe i i may have been a bit vulnerable. at the time and let's say he did sway me. what if i changed my eye and didn't go.

that could have happened. was he intimidated by you and your. success do you think at the beginning. yeah 100. let's be honest i'm 20 oh my god i'm 26. i'm 26. i was still 24. i'm. 26 years old and you are killing the. game i'll say it because i know you're. too humble. no i no no no no no no. no i said it it's fine you didn't you. say whatever you want but it's not even. that it's.

you know when you're 26 years old and. maybe you have a few things. um people start to obviously. feel a bit like you know i think it was. people start to feel like they should. have them i say something. when you talk about your success i get. awkward don't i i'm super awkward and. i'll can i just say an observation and i. think this is. a society problem not you problem men. aren't like that. no they're not i love coming up on here. and saying how much money they're making. and how much they're killing it how many.

x wins that they've achieved um you. don't seem to be as comfortable talking. about your success and i feel like. that's a reflection of the society we. live in. uh honestly it's not even that it's me. i'm. very awkward with stuff like that like. can i be honest i don't even check my. bank accounts. i let my account and deal with it i i. i don't i i think for me i stay so. tunnel vision and the vision. so i wake up in the morning the first. thing i do is check. my mentions and dms and go on my. community pages.

in that forum that's literally the first. thing i do. and if i start thinking about how am i. going to make a billion how am i going. to do this i'm going to do that. i don't know it becomes a bit. suffocating to the vision that you have. um and i was really number driven at the. beginning not. financially but on instagram followers. and. followers the more followers it means. i'm amazing the more likes it means i'm. fit enough to be here. you know and i got so obsessed i used to. almost like not think i was good enough.

unless i got a certain amount of likes. or followers and i. completely lost sight of why i'm doing. what i'm doing. you know now i don't even check the. likes i get i don't even check the the. my statistics my team do. i don't check it because i don't care. what i care about is that comment that a. lady saying to me. oh my god this has helped me so much. this has made me so confident. that feeds my energy if i start thinking. how am i going to get 100 million how am. i going to juice.

that will come i'm confident it will. come. but it's not my fundamental. you know and it's going to be focusing. on something else yeah i'm focused on. something else and. it's not that society has made me feel. uncomfortable to talk about my success. it's that i've you can speak to any of. my team like i. just don't care about it can i be honest. with you like. i am not thriving to. i don't know i'm not i'm not thriving to.

have. the biggest house or the fanciest car. i mean i even said to you like i don't. have a fancy car a fancy house by the. way. and you were like i don't care yeah you. know like i don't really care about. stuff like. that i never i never have been like that. and it's not that i'm trying to be. humble it's like i literally don't give. a [ __ ]. i don't care about a fancy car never. have done. on the things that you do care about you. talked about these comments and these. dms you get um. i imagine you know because i get a.

couple dms as well. you get a lot not a couple you get a lot. and uh. how how does it feel to have that sort. of responsibility when someone messages. you something so. deeply personal and that they're seeking. advice or guidance or they're just. sharing a problem with you how does that. feel in terms of. well how does it make you feel um. when can i message sometimes because you. know what to say. because i'm not qualified to deal with. certain situations.

but at the same time the contradiction. with me is like you're giving that. advice. something yeah and i just want to. acknowledge the person but i know i. can't so and it would be almost. irresponsible for me to try and solve. their problem. 100 you're not there to fix someone's. problems yeah but but. i think the value that i can bring is. just by like listening and acknowledging. but you know there's a spectrum right so. you have on one end i love what you do. in the other end you have. people that are suicidal or that are you. know. and um it's it sometimes it's a lot i. had this one video go viral 30 million. views and it was about depression.

and i got 8 000 dm's that week from. people on that spectrum. and i just didn't know what to do i was. like. because when you read them some people. are really really suffering. and they've come to me because clearly. in some cases one girl that said she'd. barricaded herself in a room in egypt. and she was on the verge of suicide like. she didn't feel like she could speak to. anyone else and sometimes a stranger. yeah is the the most safe place to you. know. how does it feel that that has kind of. made me emotional no it didn't i did.

the funny thing to that i remembered. that instantly this girl. barricaded in a room in egypt who would. watch this video. and had reached out to me to for me to. give her the answer she's looking for in. her life. which i'm not qualified to give right. all i can do is. be a friend in that in that situation um. but but i'm sure you get messages that. are. you know yeah i get um messages. every day thousands and um. so there's two things that i've started. to do one of the biggest teams we have.

at tone and sculpt is the customer. support team right. and by the way this isn't because we get. influxes of emails. it's because we have a person for each. social. facebook community manager instagram all. of this stuff. and the reason being is we don't need. them. it's because i want every single person. to be heard and what you just said that. is exactly what i think as well you want. to be a friend. i call my community familia.

i always use that word i always say. you're my sisters you're my familia. because at the end of the day i'm not. here to fix your problems but i'm here. to listen to your problems. i'm here to be the friend that you may. think you don't have in in your reality. you can't fix someone's problems you. can't offer. you know mental health advice because if. you say something wrong. god forbid anything happened but you can. listen. you can make feel make someone feel like. they're part of something. and that's the best thing i can do you.

know yeah and you know i was i was. thinking then as well about the previous. topic we had i rarely switched back. but before you came here today there was. a question i actually wanted to ask you. about because. i only ask questions because i am. curious myself. sure and i'm trying to i think the. reason i ask these questions is i'm. trying to find similarities in some way. between a you know a person on your. journey and a personal mind the question. is. are you hard to date. today was one of those days in my life. where i'm filming this podcast with.

chrissy i've got a ton of things going. on i've got tons and tons of emails. i'm sprinting around and like usual in. my crazy crazy world i am neglecting my. nutrition something that i. i have done for probably the last decade. and this is why. huel sponsored this podcast and why i've. been a huge customer for about three. years and why. when i was looking for a partner to work. with on this podcast hill was the. company that came to mind. it's a company that helped me with my. nutrition and for me to stay sort of. nutritionally complete. as is huel itself despite the fact that.

i have a crazy. crazy unfi predictable unforgiving. schedule. and um i love it and it's it's such a. pleasure to get to have a podcast and to. have a partner. in huel and then julian who is the. founder and ceo. where i can talk about it and the. benefits it gives to me in such an. authentic way. if you've not tried huel and you are. someone that frequently. neglects your diet whether it's through. busyness whether you forget to have. meals because. of whatever's going on in your life i. implore you just to try it.

just to check it out um they and heal. comes in many different like shapes and. sizes there's the powder. they've got like the savory meals now. and they have the bottles. and for me i've always loved the bottles. um so it's yeah it's a pleasure that. you'll sponsor this podcast and support. us in this mission. and they're the reason that we're going. to be scaling this podcast up. big time i was just chatting to um. chatting to some of the production crew. that worked with me and jack and dom. and i was saying that um now we have a.

partner on the podcast. we can really take this up a level. you've seen me taken up one level this. season already. we're gonna take it up even further and. that's in terms of production in terms. of the guests in terms of. what we can invest into this into this. um piece of. content so thank you to huel check it. out try the chocolate flavor let me know. what you think if you are a hula gun. right and um i appreciate you listening. back to the podcast. the question is are you hard to date. um oh [ __ ] yeah i think so.

i think i am i'm not gonna lie. like okay so here's the thing right i'm. super loving. when i'm with you i'll do anything for. you. like i'll look after you i'll make you. feel special. it's gonna be like but if you like it. but. no no like honestly like even i. i can honestly say like even sarah and. my pa will tell you like. i fall hard in love yeah.

i head over heels for someone i'll fall. so hard for you um but i also fall so. hard out of love for you. oh [ __ ] that's the issue of me and. that's. facts and i hate that about myself. so much it's the one thing i hate the. most about myself. i'm a switch you do something to annoy. me. or you do something to kind of like. it's bad it's not healthy like i.

people think i'm superwoman i've got my. own problems this like. i want my own issues i feel so in love. with someone and then if i don't see. that same level of love back. i'm like [ __ ] this [ __ ] self-defense. yeah i do think in relationships i'm. really i'm really defensive. and you know what i can't believe i'm. admitting all this but. yeah i i would say i am and i think that. um what are you defending yourself from. i don't know okay why are you are you.

hard to date. yeah okay so so are you defensive. christy this is all about your diary. well come to me. no i want to know what you're defending. yourself from. because you you literally said if i. didn't get the same type of love back. okay okay so you're obviously very. motivated you're very inspired you're. very like. driven right thanks you're welcome i'm. the same like i just want to keep going. i want to grind i want to grind. so if i see someone kind of just not.

doing the same. infuriates me like i'm almost like how. can you not have. passion for something how can you not. have a try for something. and then it leads me to believe that. hold on a minute if i did have the same. person that had the same level of drive. would we be compatible. maybe i do need someone a little bit. more like low-key. because then it will make me feel a bit. calmer when i'm home. it's all over the gap i don't know what. i want women don't know what they want.

stop asking women what we want we don't. know what we want. we don't know what we want but what i. can say is. i think sometimes when we overthink. things especially me i overthink. relationships. all the freaking time i think sometimes. it's a good idea to just. take a step back and just relax a bit. because if someone is genuinely there. for you. willing to listen willing to take care. of you. and willing to always always put effort. in.

stop being a [ __ ] pretty much you know. i i. me personally i'm i'm difficult to stay. i'm not gonna lie. i'm not gonna lie i don't even feel bad. saying that i felt quite free saying. that like i'm i'm difficult today. so no one said you should feel bad no i. i am and i. i feel bad for the guy but so i really. want to dig into that because i can. really really relate and that's why i. started laughing because. i've gone over the same predicament in. my head thinking maybe i need someone. that's super ambitious and has loads of.

passions and there's a flagship person. and then i thought but then maybe they'd. drive me crazy because you know and then. so i flip-flop and usually when i'm with. one i think i want the other. same and then yeah and then when with. that i'm like nope. yeah that's literally me yeah i'll. like maybe we can figure this out today. i honestly can't and i think you know. what it is. i think it's because we are people that. are constantly switched on yeah like. neurotic obsessive. obsessive like with work with this with.

that i'm not obsessive in a relationship. like if someone tries to tell me what to. do with my life i'd be like. no way and i couldn't imagine ever. trying to tell someone what to do with. their life. like if you want to do whatever you do. whatever you want to do that's your life. you live it the way you want to live it. um so. because i'm obsessive with my life and. my career. i'm constantly switched on so. if someone around me isn't i almost feel. like.

i don't know she doesn't think they're a. bum. oh my god i think that's true. it's true yes i know it's so. true and then do you find yourself. feeling a bit lazy. yeah but also i i'm like steve don't. tell him because you're. passing your own world view and your own. values onto someone else. who doesn't want it yeah and you. shouldn't be trying to change people out. here. you accept them oh my god that is me i'm.

literally like. what do you mean you don't want to be. ambitious in life what do you mean you. don't have a passion. what do you mean and i go crazy in my. head and this is happening in my head. whilst i'm looking at the meat. do you know what i mean like let's say. i'm like. let's say we're we're at dinner i'm. having a full-on-blown conversation in. my head like what do you mean i'm not. ambitious. what do you mean you don't want this and. he's just chilling you know you're not. doing anything wrong. and then i have to let you take a.

breather and be like what am i doing i. can't. i can't push that on to someone i can. only push that onto myself i need to. chill out. connected to this maybe maybe not your. parents. hard working oh my god so hard working. um came from another country came from. another country. um immigrated at the back of the lorry. you know i immigrated back of banana. lorry. yeah and um i remember we landed in. france. and my family got arrested because we.

were immigrants and they separated us so. they put. me my my brother in one room my dad in. another room he could see him through. the glass. and i remember crying and crying and. crying like dad dad dad i didn't know. what's going on i was four years old. but i still remember that i'll never. forget the the prison room was turquoise. i'll never forget that and when we came. to this country. my mom and dad worked hard. my mom worked three jobs my dad worked. as a hb1 lorry driver every single night.

you know every penny they had they saved. they saved they saved um. my dad had a pretty bad gambling problem. i'm gonna be honest my mum was. constantly trying to like. fix that problem and. i've never actually mentioned that ever. before. ever and as much as i love my dad with. my entire heart and and i. want nothing more for him to be happy it. caused a lot of strain on my mum.

like trying to feed her family trying to. like work hard trying to save trying to. take us on holiday you know. um so to save money and then to have the. person you love gambling away it's like. what's the point like i don't understand. why i'm with this person but in my. culture you don't leave the man you're. with. you're stuck with them but my mum even. though he was like that my mum. loved and loves my dad so much it's. pretty bizarre. because that would be enough to take. anyone off but she just believed in him.

he doesn't do any more. believed in him and nourished him and. loved him so much. and together they grew better um. so for me if i have a man and he like. places a bet on something. it triggers me to think he's going to be. gambling and i'm like oh my god no. sorry out he's put one bet down and i. think he's. canvased you know what i mean it's crazy. so. i asked that question for a reason gone. um.

because we've we've established that we. have very much. similar traits and relationships that we. we tend to really value. hard work and ambition and it tends to. be the case. that the value we attribute to hard work. and ambition probably comes from. a childhood where um. hard work and ambition were the thing. that might have got us out of some. [ __ ] let me. tell you from my example all right so. very much the same as yours. but switch the parents so i came from.

africa i was born in africa came to the. uk. my dad had like a pretty good job but my. mom you could all call it a gambling. addiction. she had this she has both gambling. addiction on one hand because she played. there was probably a thousand lottery. tickets if i opened any drawer in our. house. okay but on the other hand she she was. she was. she couldn't stop starting businesses to. the point that. the reason why we were so poor we never. had birthdays or christmases or went on. holiday at all ever period. was because my mom spent all the money.

trying to become a millionaire. by starting these businesses they'd all. fail within six months because she can't. read or write. and my dad was the unconditionally. loving calm. supportive won't leave you even though. you're an absolute [ __ ] parent right. so there's one yeah so in my house i. think when i think about why i am the. way i am now. i think money was such a big problem. that in our house it was the cause of so. much pain mm-hmm same that i grew up. valuing it so much and the thing that. would get you it which. would to me would be like you know my.

what i thought was happiness. was like hard work ambition like my. parents worked so hard that they. wouldn't even be that in the house when. i went to bed or when i woke up. and so i value hard work and ambition. because my parents taught me it because. it was the cure to our problems. right so and especially as immigrants. right there's a different there's like. an. immigrant vibe i get you yeah i get you. don't we don't even have to talk about i. just get you. so like this is part of the reason why i. think in relationships when someone. doesn't have those values when they. don't value hard work and ambition i'm. like.

what the [ __ ] is wrong with you yeah. there's probably something wrong with me. i don't think there's anything wrong. with you i think i. i'm i'm not going to sit here and think. there's something wrong with me not. wrong. it's like it's the result of my traum my. traumatic childhood experience maybe i. wouldn't change it for the world. do you know what it is i swear to god i. think it's it's the fact. that okay. so a lot of people. when we moved to england i was never.

allowed to like go. to stay over other friends houses my dad. is super strict like i couldn't even. wear skirts around him. absolutely not forbidden and so when i. did used to go to my other friends. houses like english culture. it was a completely different vibe like. their family was different like their. moms and dads were different. and then when i'd come to my house it. was different and i. didn't understand it so my dad has. always wanted me to marry an albanian.

man it's like his dream he's like please. marry an albanian man. you two will be amazing together like. this and i'm like. dad i don't care what he is so long as. i'm in love. and it happens to be that the guys i've. been with have been. english and the cultures are completely. different and it it i don't understand. like sometimes when they do things i. don't understand. examples like okay.

so in my household mediterranean loud. proud like. very like good really yeah super loud i. am super loud i love it. but you know you come to my house and my. mum will have dinner ready for you. my mom will buy you slippers to make you. feel like home you know and she'll. she'll welcome you hug you kiss you on. each cheek. but then when i'd go to jack's families. for example as much as they were so. loving so caring it just wasn't the same. like you'd have dinner different times.

or. and i didn't understand it because i've. been brought up in a family where. everything's together like togetherness. and everyone's got each other's backs. and everyone's solid so. to have a different culture thrown into. the mix. sometimes it does clash and it does like. cultures are different. but that doesn't mean one culture is. better it just means it's different. so it's up to you whether you want to. learn both cultures and. and meet in the middle it would be.

easier if i went for an albanian guy. because their cult. culture is the same and i've been. brought up in that culture. but obviously jack's culture is. completely different so. i've had to kind of like. you know find the middle find that. that middle ground i guess i don't know. what you call it but find that balance. are you scared that you might not ever. meet the right person all the time i'm. all the time scared. i'm 26 years old and as women we're told.

we have. a time frame if you're not 30 you have. kids you're. too old if you if you have kids at 40. what kind of mum are you. all this bloody [ __ ] around us all the. time see how much pressure that adds as. a woman. all the time so much pressure you got to. get married you got to have kids you got. to be a mom you got to be a mum. before 30. oh that's when i like. breathe out so much pressure and it.

petrifies me. it honestly petrifies me because a lot. of people around me. in my industry are married or i'll have. children or have like. a fiance and i had that and i almost. think to myself i had that and i let. that go. and sometimes you you think do you know. and this is probably i'm asking this. question again for my own reasons so. you do you ever consider the fact that. you might be too busy.

being entrepreneur no you're never too. busy for someone you love. i don't think that's the case i don't. think um. i'm too busy you think you're what. you're doing with with your businesses. and as an entrepreneur. might prevent you um being. uh aware and forming a healthy. relationship when the prospect arises. do you know what i think it is when you. have a nine to five. you clock out you come home you switch.

off. you don't clock out you're working. constantly even if you're in this room. you're still at the back of your head. thinking about your business you're. thinking about something you need to do. something. to check off something you need to. approve something to expand on. so it's it's so guilty for me to say. this i feel bad saying it but i could be. in a room with you and i'm thinking. about my companies. constantly and someone who has a nine to. five doesn't. understand that because it's like you're.

switched off at five. and sometimes i feel bad saying i do. kind of wish i can switch off at 5 p.m. but i just can't. and i think it's not necessarily i'm too. busy at some constantly thinking. even if i'm in the room with you i'm. constantly thinking about what i have to. do. you can make someone feel pretty lonely. just by being even if you're sat next to. them yeah. you're often you know yeah i often say i. say like when i'm with somebody. my aim isn't for them to ever understand. me it's just to understand. that they don't understand yeah because.

i think i'm like too difficult to. understand if i'm quiet for an hour it. doesn't mean i don't love you it means. that i've just got an email. so true and it's just [ __ ] me and i. actually don't want to always share. things at home because you're offloading. yeah you're offloading and i don't want. to be back because i could offload 24. 7. oh trust me so can i sarah's always. like oh. here we go again um but it's. true like you know your phone is buzzing. off constantly. you could get a dm by someone you could. you could get a message an. email and it's like oh [ __ ] really.

and you're just sitting watching a movie. with your partner tell me about that. part of being an entrepreneur i think. that's why i really started the podcast. in the first place was. i want to hear about the [ __ ] of. running a business the unexpected. unpredictable. life-shifting [ __ ] that happens. yeah your life is you breathe and you. live your businesses. i think this is something people don't. understand you live. and you breathe your companies they are. your babies.

no one and nothing can get in the way. and no one understands that they see the. money the success. the followers the this the that the. blingy cars whatever. the hell you want to see and. let me tell you the reality you don't. have much time. you suck at relationships. you don't have many friends and the. friends that you have you don't really. see them. um when you do have time to yourself.

you never switch off ever. you are the biggest self-critic ever. you constantly think that you could be. doing better and that pressure. is insane mentally and physically it. drains you. and um another thing is that i really. just want to say. um if you think a life of an. entrepreneur. is so glamorous this is the first time. i've put on jeans. in i would say i'm blessed i feel.

privileged. i don't know how long but i don't live. in jeans i live in sweats and sliders. so if it sucks so much it doesn't suck. and you know what i'm trying to say yeah. i know exactly what you're saying. but i'm also here to to try and help. people understand. multiple perspectives because people say. okay so you've criticized you know. you've talked not criticized but you've. talked. about the downsides right why'd you. still do it because you could. just say do you know what i killed it. hang up your. your gym yeah your active wear clothes. oh your shoes i don't know what people.

would say. and you could say that's it i'm done why. don't you. oh no why not gosh the feeling i get. when i. when i see someone's transformation. nah that fills me up like. that fuels me when i see. a transformation when i see someone who. had um. a mental a mental health disorder or an. eating disorder and has is now thriving.

do you know that is. so unexplainable that nothing else. matters. i'd rather not have a relationship to be. frank with you. i really am not that fast so long as i. can. continue to help as many women as. possible. for me that's enough and that's why i. don't stop. is there an endpoint in all this i hope. not. okay there's no like mountain top. there's no no. i i think that.

you know you're you're told in life that. you need to go to school you need to go. to university you need to achieve this. right so then you achieve this and. you are not satisfied so you need to. achieve this. and then this and then this i don't have. goals for financial. status for awards for anything like that. i had. maybe two goals and i've achieved one of.

them. which i won't share because it's. actually very top secret but you'll see. it next year okay. um but. if you have these um. tangible goals i'm thinking now what it. is i'm like you finally married an. albanian man i'm like what. oh yes daddy i did no no. i didn't i didn't no i'm not married. nope that's actually very depressing. thank you. um but no it's like you you.

goals are like you you know when you. wrote in your diary i want a range rover. right you got a ranger or what then just. total anti-climax. yeah well i want a million dollar house. cool what then you're lonely in your. house. your house is so big you don't know what. to do with it by the way my house is not. so big i don't want to do it i need more. space. but you see what i'm saying so i don't. have those types of goals because. they're not attainable. is there a point in when you're building. the businesses you run where.

you had your worst ever day because i. can think about the worst days that i've. had in business. what was the what was the one that. sprung to mind straight away. oh god um okay so when. i'm i'm a woman in tech right so. with an app there's complications that. you are not even prepared. for there's maybe a bug maybe this maybe. that so obviously when this lawsuit was. happening to get. my app back um from the developers from. the. old developers it was a third party.

company. and when we transferred it to brand new. servers that are obviously. you know pretty much ours um. because servers are just so huge but um. i didn't know anything about tech when i. started now you speak to me tech i know. tech language. okay so it's actually i'm very proud. because for someone who literally didn't. understand what the hell the server was. i was like what's the first time you. heard about it there's a bug did you. think oh lady bird. i honestly don't like it's embarrassing.

but when the transition happened the. whole app went. right shut down and imagine when you. know when instagram shuts down people. like oh my god instagram sucks like. fu instagram okay but. this is my company now so when it shuts. down. it's like i can't i can't i can't pay. for my employees. i can't pay for my office i can't do. this i can't do that. when it shut down my whole face shut. down with it i was like [ __ ].

what do i do now this is it we lost 10. 000 subscribers in one day. okay you times 10 000 by 13.99. yeah it's a lot of [ __ ] money a lot. of money in one day gone. gone that was probably the one of the. worst days. and i just sat back and i looked at jack. and i just said to him. what the [ __ ] do we do now jack b and. jack he was like don't worry. we'll gain them back on don't worry why.

are you stressing this is what happens. well would you be while we're stressing. idiot. what do you mean he's like chill out but. um. yeah that was probably the worst day and. i just remember i. i lost so much weight right i lost. i would say i was 56 kilograms i went. down to. 49 in like 56. yeah i went down to 49. seven kilograms. yeah but i went down to 49 so can you.

imagine in what space of time. um three weeks to four weeks. i couldn't keep anything on i wasn't. eating i wasn't sleeping i lost. everything then me and jack parted so. and i was still producing videos still. producing content still. how long was the up down for it was down. for three days. three days and i was still producing. content going on instagram don't worry. guys like we'll still get out there i. wasn't eating wasn't sleeping wasn't. doing anything i just.

broken up the person i was going to. marry. i was in a house with my dog the house. that i built with the man i was supposed. to be with. i didn't know what the hell i was doing. anymore at that point i thought. i thought i should give up not gonna lie. but yeah. i was like this is it now no no i'm. giving up i've got my law degree i'm. gonna go back to doing that this is just. too much stress. and then i did and i just kept going. just kept going something inside me was. like you just have to keep going please.

don't give up please don't give up. chrissy. you talked about um your own battles. with mental health. um over the years i think i think i read. that you. you said you'd suffered with depression. at various stages yeah early on can you. tell me about that. yeah huge like i mean. a lot of people see a very. picture-perfect image on instagram which. i'm to blame. just like everybody else you want to you.

want to showcase the best bits of you. nothing wrong with that you keep doing. you if that works you keep doing you. but i have been in such. dark places that i couldn't. i couldn't picture wanting anyone. to feel what i felt in those places even. someone i. resent not that i resent anyone but i. wouldn't even want that for them. these dark places suck you in so much. that you honestly start to contemplate.

whether you just want to stop feeling. that feeling. period like just be done with it. and i'll never forget i was laying in. bed. one day and i was so. depressed so depressed that i just. thought to myself. it'd be so much easier if i wasn't here. that's so much easier just. quit just leave. and i cried myself to sleep and i woke.

up the next morning and it almost. felt like in my dream i'd made it happen. if you know what i'm trying to say. without saying it and i just thought. i need to stop because i cannot go on. like this. and i think when i try and explain to. people i've i know those dark places. i've been in those dark places they. don't believe me because they see me for. the person i am today. they don't see the person that fought so. hard to be. where i am today mentally not even about.

the success the business is mentally. that's the most important thing up here. this is the most important thing you can. have all the money in the world. all the businesses in the world you can. have 300 employees multiple companies. who gives a [ __ ] about that if you up. here are so. not okay so yeah i've been through dark. places but. i've also picked myself up multiple. times and i've had to brush my shoulders. off and get [ __ ] done. and that's why i keep saying to every. single person out there you have to do.

this for you do this for. you this is the the biggest and most. important thing i can say to you. and now that you have you know you've. built this empire this little fitness. empire which is. rapidly growing do you ever find. yourself in those dark places even today. yeah not as bad um. but i find myself um. i find myself wondering if.

i'll ever have like a somewhat normal. life. so like what we discussed. will i ever find someone again. will i be in love will i get married. will i have children like i want. children i want to be married i believe. in those things i want those things. but sometimes i wonder if those things. are going to happen. for me and i do wonder i just maybe need. to stop overcomplicating things in my. mind. but i can't switch off and maybe the. only way i know to switch off is just to.

quit. you see what i'm saying it's a vicious. circle but if i quit i'll be so. angry at myself for quitting it's like. ongoing it's constant it doesn't stop. so um and do you think part of. that fear comes from the fact that you. believe the way you are now. and how you live and work now and how. obsessive you are now. is probably not like conducive or um. it's probably not going to allow that. other all those other things you want. to yeah to come true right so like you. think well something's going to have to.

give at some point is that. i do i'm not going to i i literally. think like that i'm not gonna lie like. so when when toner scope. was built um we i didn't i honestly. didn't realize it would grow the speed. it did with little to absolutely no. marketing expenditure. so everything's been hyper organic in. the space of. 12 months we now have a team of 22. people when it was just me and jack. 12 months ago 22 people an office in. in in london we know what the rent is.

like in london it's. off the chain um 120 growth. you know month by month it's rapid. growth. we've just launched a brand new trainer. um. who is like insane. and um i keep saying to myself okay when. i get to this point i can. relax and i say that to sarah all the. time. i keep saying i keep mentioning sarah. but but because she is the one person. that. knows me probably better than my own.

blood. because she's with me everywhere i go. and she is the person i speak to about a. lot of things. so i always say to okay when i get to. this point with tone and scope. i can breathe and bless her she's like. yeah yeah. she knows in her head i want more and i. want more. but it's not i want more it's that i. believe we can do more and i believe we. can do more. and strive for more so when does it end. when does it end it doesn't end that's. what i'm trying to say so you have to.

make peace with it. you have to make peace with the fact. that it's not supposed to end. but you also have to make peace with the. fact that you need to make maybe some. self. self self-adjustments and and be a bit. critical with yourself. because if you're going in a. relationship and constantly thinking. that that person should be on your level. that's that's my problem i need to deal. with that's not their problem. you know it's not fair on them how'd you. deal with that. i think it i think it takes time.

i think you're not sure are you. no i'm not sure about your body language. oh god i figured that one out it's okay. to not have it figured out right i don't. have it figured out and i'm someone who. doesn't like not having things figured. out. right yeah yeah i get that um but i do. think i need to stop being so mean. it's this balance right between trying. to figure it out now because you kind of. want to be able to have a plan and have. you know. but then also realizing that you. shouldn't overthink this thing. and that you should maybe just you've.

literally made me feel in this podcast. like i'm the most impossible person to. be with. i'm not i'm just asking the questions oh. no no i. can't lie i'm not going to lie just to. make myself sound good no. it's it's a very important part of being. a successful person that it has this. crazy neurotic obsessive brain. yeah i do ambitious and that's but also. has these other things they want and. life is a drop at you you can't have. everything at the same time so what. we're talking about now is like. compromising how you reach that. compromise in your life if possible.

i'm in the same place i have no idea how. that's gonna happen but do you do you. want kids. i do want kids do you want to get. married um i'm not so concerned about. the concept of marriage but i want to. have a long-term partner because i want. to have kids. and so i'm willing to commit long-term. if it's a marriage if it's. signing some other piece of paper if. there's no paper i like don't really. care too much about the whole marriage. thing if it matters so much to the. partner. i'll do it but i don't i was saying on. the last podcast no i see what you mean. i don't have a great case for why the. law or or a religion should be involved.

in. love i don't think it has a great track. record with love yeah so i'm like i. think that's an idea which we all as a. society need to just. reconsider yeah what you mean like i'm. gonna my closing statement on this point. is. we are all so different you are. different from me only a little bit. but then like you're different from your. assistant and i'm different from mine. and. my friends from school so logically you. would think the answer to how we form. our romantic connections. would also be unique and different like. and i think at any time in life where. the script tells you everyone has to go.

through this door. when you are a different shape it's like. putting a triangle in a square. like of course i think that's when you. have to question things so i got kicked. out of school because i just stopped. going. dropped out of university after one. lecture and i've tried to navigate my. life my way through life just rejecting. the things that i meant to just accept. blindly. and marriage is one of them where i'm. like can i achieve all the things i want. to in a relationship without that. paper yeah and i put on my linkedin last. week i said um i basically said to the. world i think marriage is. a concept we need to reconsider for.

everyone someone proved me wrong. and one guy commented he said i've been. in a marriage for 45 years. we love each other we've done this i. said could you have done that without. the marriage. yes okay then yeah so but you would do. it if. she or i don't know he whatever maybe. but then i need to be honest here. because you know if they really wanted. to get married. i'd ask them why they really wanted to. get married i'm not gonna lie i am the. same. like for me a piece of paper doesn't. define my love for you.

okay let's talk about this then so why. do you why do you want to get married. do you know what it is like this is me. being a woman. i just really want to dress we can do. the wedding. like that's marriage is different from a. wedding in a ceremony someone said that. on my post. yeah i guess yeah i mean look. my my dream wedding would genuinely be. like on the beach. having like burgers and beers with the. closest friends and families running in. the ocean i don't want it like a big. fancy. party i feel like you just described.

your dream day yeah. literally if you could do that like this. week but if i said to you because you're. so busy if i said to you what's. what do you want to do right now i bet. anyone and you'd say you know what i'd. love to be on the sofa and just eat my. favorite food for the people i love. yeah of course right of course yeah over. going out getting smashed of course. that's what i'm saying but a lot of. people the only thing is my brain is. like go on your laptop and check your. emails. see that's what i mean because you're. upset because i love it you know what i. mean yeah but. what i'm saying is to other people they.

want a big wedding a big. big fuss i hate fuss. i absolutely hate fuss over me and it's. so funny because like even my team. surprise premier surprise birthday party. i was so awkward i was like don't ever. do that again i. i hate all eyes on me yes although my. business is built on all eyes on me. do you see how that's so contradictory. it's the same i used to my previous. assistant um who ended up being my. girlfriend long [ __ ] story which.

we're not going to go into. whoa. i don't actually know if sophie so my. current assistant sophie's been with me. for four years. i know she knows this but sophie do you. know this do i. do have i ever said to you when it's my. birthday or when it's like social change. anniversary to not make a fuss about it. and the reason why i say this is because. i get so much attention as it is. and so much fuss for like being the. founder being the ceo the eyes are. always on me. you just don't want it you're like no no. no no yeah the same right.

i'm the same and i always just feel like. oh i don't know so that's why my dream. wedding. day if that day will come is to just. oh my god 20 30 people max. closest friends and families my my dog. there and just to have the person i love. and i always say i want to be in a room. full of people and look at the person i. love and just me and him. understand each other you know what i. mean that feeling where you look at them. and you're just like i get you. i get you and that's that's what i crave.

that's what i want and you're right a. piece of. paper doesn't define that feeling only. you define that feeling in that person. so i don't need a piece of paper you're. right um i guess i just want the concept. are you scared of death who me no not at. all. hear me no i'm not. i'm i'm not are you no i'm not no. i'm not like um i'm scared of not living.

yes i'm scared of like i really want to. do. things i want to explore i want to do. things i want. to you know my my dream vacation. would be to not have my phone there i. don't care about a selfie i don't care. about this i just want to be. present in the moment and if i if i told. you that you were going to die. a week from now what would you so much. what would you regret.

so much tell me not living just working. there you go not living like. as much as i love doing what i l what i. do i'm not gonna lie. i i've built what i've built telling. people to look after themselves. and i forget to look after myself and. that's why when i do train and when i. exercise. it's the only time i do feel like i'm. doing something really special for. myself.

and i've like i do a lot of skipping. right amazing at skipping by the way. thank you i watched you the other day i. was like oh my god did you like i. thought i was a good skipper no and i. saw you like dancing while skipping and. i was like oh she's [ __ ] of course. she's doing like a double crossover and. i just had to. i started to feel really inadequate and. insecure as a man it was fine so i just. had it it happens all the time. but you know why i skip why is that. uh you have to be [ __ ] present. because if you're not present you get. whipped. right and when i'm skipping.

i literally feel like i can't think. about anything else but the rhythm. and for someone who's always on switched. on someone who's always doing things you. know people always tell me go. go meditate do yoga can i [ __ ]. yeah can i [ __ ] i'm like i let you go to. meditate and i'm thinking about. my my to-do list like but when i'm. skipping. i'm so engrossed in it yeah that. i'm literally so present in the moment. and it makes me feel alive.

same thing with training i'm so. engrossed in training. and that's why so many women when i say. to them just train. you're a mom you got to think about your. children you're you're a student you've. got to think about your studies. you're trying to trying to make money. because you don't know when you're going. to pay. your rent just train it's the one moment. that you can ignore the entire world. and do something for yourself so. i really want to loot background to this. point. about if you were to die next week oh.

you were trying to avoid it. yeah i was because you know the answer. yeah but i want to hear the answer. because i'm asking this. i would feel the same way right maybe. feel awkward my palms are sweating it. makes you feel a little bit. uncomfortable right. it does because i. love my job so much like i love what i. do. it it i thrive off it. but on the flip side i do wish i was. so i'll stop being such an annoying. little [ __ ] and just take some time off.

for myself you know let's stop being so. annoying to yourself chrissy just take. some time off it's okay. it's okay to go do things you love doing. like traveling obviously right now it's. pandemic but you know what i'm trying to. say. like travel like maybe take a week off. and just. breathe um but i can't. i can't i don't know what's wrong with. me i just can't are you the same. i'm the same is there something. again i'm just exploring this is there. something strange about that where you.

feel like you know. you're saying you're saying i can't it's. like you don't have a choice. but at the same time you're telling me. that if you were to die next week. you would regret not living. yeah oh my god this is such a. heavy-laded question um. i feel like i feel like this is the. therapy session i needed. but it's it's so true what you've just. said you've literally. just you've shut me up you've shut me up.

because. i can't you're like like [ __ ]. [ __ ] shut her up but it's true like. i can't stop working because. something keeps telling me i can't stop. right now. not yet but on the flip side if i was to. die next week. i'd regret not taking some time off for. myself to do the things that i love. doing i love going to museums. no one knows that a lot i literally love. looking at things but you think that's a. waste of time i do.

right now right now yeah and time is. every entrepreneur's biggest asset. time is everything how could it possibly. be a waste of time if it's the thing you. would regret. the the reason why i think this death. question is so revealing. is they they do all of these there's a. a lady called bonnie ware who was um she. worked with um i think it's called. palliative patients which are people. that are about to die. they've gone home to die and she asked. them the question. what are your biggest regrets and she.

wrote it down and she was doing this for. years and she wrote a blog about it. and there's a certain sort of. retrospective clarity you'll get. in that moment when there is nothing. going forward for your life. about how you should have made your. decisions in that moment you can imagine. only the things that matter people what. that girl said about your hair. none of this [ __ ] won't [ __ ] matter. the playground [ __ ] none of it will. matter you'll just be left with the. things that truly mattered. and so putting yourself in that mindset. i call it like deathbed thinking.

allows you to look at how you're living. your life now and see if it's in. accordance with the things that will. matter. in that like final moment and so. i asked this question because i think. the same about me i'm like if you told. me today. i had four days left to live i'd be like. why didn't i have a better relationship. with my family. yeah why didn't i go see my niece i. don't have a relationship with my. brother. well yeah you know i have a [ __ ]. relationship with my with my mom in. particular yeah. i don't see my niece and my two nieces. enough i've probably seen them i know.

three or four times. she's maybe three years old she's only. two hours away and so i think these. things about myself and i think. okay so but what are you sacrificing. have you made a change. because no one's ever asked me that see. the question is now you've asked. yourself that. i think it'll always be there but but it. won't be. but no one's ever asked me that so now. you've got me thinking oh [ __ ] i need to. get sarah to put me holiday because. [ __ ] me i need to live my life but it's. like. in all honesty i'll probably leave today. and keep doing what i'm doing.

day in day out until at some point. you'll learn this lesson the hard way. facts and. you know um recently one of the most. important people of my life passed away. the woman that gave me a home you know. um. you know you know you know my best my. best friend holly who is literally my. sister her mom gave me a home when i was. homeless. and you know she didn't once mentioned.

the months she left let me live there. the food i ate the hot water i used not. once. ever brought it up and i saw her on her. dying bed right. and i held her hand and i just kept. thinking to myself. nothing matters at this point and you. know what holly said to me. she goes i would have called you sooner. but i was scared you were doing. something. and at that point i i it hit me like. i looked down i went never say that. again you call me when you need me. i'm always there for you but it's the.

fact that we've. the people around us know how busy we. are that they sometimes feel like oh. maybe i just shouldn't. the most important people even my mom. doesn't know she goes i don't. call you babe it's okay i know how busy. you are and i say so no you call me when. you want me and you need me. and it's not that you've told people not. to call you right it's that they think. that. you're just so busy that it'll be a. disruption because you've made them feel. that way. yeah yeah i'm to blame 100.

and you know you have to take a step. back and you have to realize what. matters in life. and that for me. that moment there i just realized to. myself and i messaged. every single person i loved the most and. i said i don't care how busy i am i'm. always here for you. always so that's a real personal moment. for your best friend and i'm. i imagine you said earlier that you. don't have many friends. um i have acquaintances but like. close friends you know like friends no i.

don't think. i don't think a lot of people do that if. you really like ask. i don't have many friends yeah like i. have people. that are there like acquaintances and i. have people that i would genuinely die. for. those are my friends you know and i can. count them on my hand. polly is one of them other people have. more friends is that a fair statement. typically yeah sure but i don't really. care if you have more friends than me to. be honest i'm happy with the people i. have.

because you have more friends with me. doesn't make you more superior or makes. you a better person because you have. more people. around you it's just you know i'm. only 26 i don't know how many friends. i'm going to have at 62. so i have friends do you see what i'm. saying. probably less maybe yeah according to. the days. maybe but at the same time i couldn't. have asked for better friends that i. have now. and the friends i have now would protect. me and look after me and they know i. would do anything. for them that's what matters.

not having a hundred friends i want one. good friend. not a hundred random friends so i i. asked that question because. i think i've definitely struggled to. make and to hold on to friendships. because of the way i've been over the. last decade. in the same way relation like normal. relationships i found that i don't. invest enough. in my friendships as much as i probably. should. okay i'm going to be completely honest. um. people come and go right.

people come and go and it's so bizarre. because. i know it sounds crazy but i've pretty. much. built a virtual community right and i. feel like. that's my team even though i may have. not met. these women physically i feel like they. get me more than the people in my own. life. is that weird do you think that's weird. you think it's a bit weird don't you be. honest.

i don't know if it's like i speak it's. unusual it's. a very curious thing you've just said. yeah like. you should i don't know if you've ever. seen or maybe not but when i go on a. live. workout and i work out with with with. hundreds of thousands of women. i don't see them they see me but i feel. the energy. i i can't explain it to you i i sound. crazy right now and people probably. think i'm an absolute. crazy psycho weirdo but let them think.

what they want when i'm like. reading a dm right or when i'm going. live for a workout or when i add a new. workout on and when i repost people. because. you you see i repost a lot of people. right um. and half the time i don't even tag tony. sculpt i just repost the woman. with a sweaty selfie or whatever and. that to me i almost feel like that's. enough friends like i have friends for. life this is my family my unit my team. my tribe.

and as crazy as i may sound. i feel like that tribe understands me. more than the people in my life so. that's when i go on social media and you. see. me understand that's me because i feel. like. we're friends and you get me and. it's crazy because they do get me and i. get them. they get my sense of humour they get me. trying to dance. on camera and be stupid i don't care i. sometimes forget i have 2.3 million. followers and i come. friends well i sometimes forget right.

have you seen that i come online and i. don't have makeup on. i forget i genuinely forget and i'm like. oh [ __ ] my skin's a bit crusty right now. and i just posted that. to 2.3 million people what's my crazy. ass thinking. and i sit back and i'm like oh okay i. don't care but the nature of the. internet is that you would of course. you've got 2.3 million people. there's a lot of people in there that. are hurting themselves and that want to. make you feel like [ __ ] too. can i be honest i'm very lucky.

really yeah i'm very lucky man i. don't get much negativity. i don't and when i do. um if like someone's been horrible. on a post because i have i have a big. insecurity about my boobs. all right like they're they're saggy. i'll say it. and cool i've always had a big. insecurity about it i remember this one. one girl just ripped them to shreds she.

was just like ill. like they look disgusting and saggy i. didn't even see the comment. until i started seeing the community. members reply back to her. now there's a difference between. replying back to someone and being like. you need to stop that was hurtful. and then replying back meanly if you're. replying back me that's not nice like. you you don't cure hate with hate right. so if i see someone being really nasty. so i don't like that like i'd rather you. not defend me i don't want that. you don't know what that girl's going. through just because she's being mean to.

me you don't know what she's going. through the pain she must be in. you don't know but when i see someone. like hey says like you need to chill. because that's not nice you don't know. what that comment could do to someone. that's a team. that's a community that's the family. right there. so i'm pretty blessed i don't get as. much negativity as maybe other people. i'm pretty pretty blessed touch word. that doesn't change. um but listen i. i don't know how to explain it to you.

and i'm gonna sound hella crazy right. now but. the the community i have man it's. something special. like special it's something that. it's it's unexplainable the feeling they. give me. and that to me is my friends. as weird as i may sound and lonely as i. sound. so some of the things you're working on. right yeah so you've got a book coming. out. yes which is exciting tell me about this. so exciting so.

i'm officially an author oh my god. um so my book do this for you how to be. a strong woman on the inside and out. is not your average fitness book so i'm. pretty sick and tired of. 20 day challenges and kind of telling. women that. oh my god do this 20 day challenge and. you're going to lose 10 pounds. oh shut up it's draining jarring stop. i'm going to teach you how to create. habits discipline consistency longevity. that's what it's about you know all the.

programs on the toner sculpt app. are some of them are year long. it kind of goes against the typical. sales sales script of something with. status quo like small effort from you. big results that's what sells right yeah. five days. you'll lose 100 pounds yeah you know but. that's very honest of you and i think. that's. real right yeah no you're not you're. gonna lose weight of course. of course you're gonna lose weight if. you're doing stupid amounts of cardio. cutting out specific food groups and.

you're literally depriving yourself. of course you're gonna lose weight not. sustainable is it sustainable no. so the way i always say is funny enough. in a relationship. if you're constantly just like horrible. to someone all the time. is that sustainable not really you have. to nourish you have to love you have to. care you have to. show effort consistency that's what. works same thing with. training it's the constant effort you. put in day in day out that will make a. difference. so it's all about disciplines habits.

yeah and it's a book that you know what. in all honesty it's a book that. i know when someone reads they're going. to pass it down right. it's one of those books you read it and. it gets you thinking. it's a thinking book so i did the audio. book for it as well last week. and when i was reading it i was like. damn that's good. i was like i know someone's gonna read. that yeah yeah. listen to it like yeah and it's true. it's a thinking book. i ask you what your why is so if i say.

to you what what is your why. why is it that you want to train. i've been over this a lot but uh i mean. like. the thing that i keep trying to get my. myself away from is. having a really extrinsic why that's. like i want to look good for summer. because when summer ends and i look good. that [ __ ] is done there we go. that's a lot of people's why's yeah i. want to lose weight for my wedding dress. i want to lose weight for this for an. occasion occasion occasionally yeah. timeline timeline yeah. the occasion comes what then you fall. off a cliff yeah.

it's not a sustainable why so i teach. you how to gain a sustainable why which. is fundamentally the most important. foundation you need for fitness. then i teach you habits you don't think. twice about brushing your teeth why. think. twice about your health why think twice. about your health your health is the. most. fundamental and important thing you need. to live. you need to get one of them as well and. why are you thinking twice about it. why are you viewing fitness as a chore. you're viewing your health as a chore. that's a shame your body deserves more.

whenever you've heard people speak about. health like this. in a society where women are driven by. fat loss pills. and quick quick fad diets and. intense workout sessions. it's time to stop it's time to tell you. that you need to calm the [ __ ] down. remember your why remember how important. your health is. and understand that if you have a bad. day it's okay. it's okay to have a bad day so that's.

what. do this for you is all about it sounds. amazing i'm gonna read it thank you. um we'll we'll link the pre-order as. well in all of the in the podcast and. also on the youtube video i wanted to. ask you what other things you're working. on i. know you just launched a an active wear. line that looks pretty. awesome they are god has so many issues. with that to begin with. but we got there in the end got there in. the end honor active. um honor active is. fundamentally i was actually building. the mission and the vision.

for it last week um and. one of the things i said is that i don't. want it to be a trendsetter. why because i don't i don't want. my brand to be something that people. just kind of like buy because it's. trendy and that's that. i want on active to be something you go. back to time and time again. so all of our collections have certain. names like the first collection is. called classic. because you're always going to come back. to it it's designed with specific. material that you always come back to it.

the next collection is called timeless. and then our winter collection is called. effortless. so it's designed to have a concept that. it's your best friend. always and forever that it doesn't. matter what year it is you're still. going to love. honor active because trendsetters they. come. and they go you have your 15 minutes. fame and then it goes. yeah but i want something to be. sustainable if you look at nike. lululemon the biggest brands in the. world. they don't have fancy stuff some of the. best. lululemon leggings are the most simplest.

ones you'll ever find but they're. trusted. and they're loved and that's exactly. what i want honor to be i'm not here to. start trends. sorry i'm not here to start trends i'm. here to. ensure that you pick up your leggings. and you trust this product. that's my goal for honor active on to. the next business. no toner sculpture toner scott was still. like obviously my. number one baby in an honor active of. course but. what we done with toner sculpt um we.

launched a brand new athlete danielle. wilson. i don't know i i clicked on her profile. she followed me i was quite uh. she loves you oh my gosh she's going to. be so excited yeah she's like oh my god. she always reposted and i was like yeah. he's all right. i'm joking she's like oh. but now she is very special. um because i approached her. and the reason why i want to talk about. her briefly in this in this podcast is.

because i think it's very important. she's a 200 pound african-american woman. 5 foot 11 not your average fitness guru. right. so why would tone and sculpt want her. she's not your average fitness guru why. would you want. someone who women are scared. to think that's what fitness looks like. let me tell you why because fitness. for such a long time is not about the. way it looks.

it's about the way it makes you feel she. trains because it makes her feel alive. she's an athlete yeah she trains. athletes. she is an athlete built like an athlete. that's what i wanted for my brand so. when. i approached a year and a half ago i. slid into her dms. and i was like i am every day inspired. by you. and i didn't really think i wanted. trainers other trainers on the tone and. sculpt out but i what i need you i need. you and on this app.

and she was like what are you serious. like you really. think i should be on the app and i was. like hell yeah you need to be on this. app. you inspire me i know you're gonna. inspire thousands of other women. and it's funny because when the whole. black lives. matter thing happened five other. companies approached her in that month. five other fitness brands and i had a. face time with her. and i said listen babe if they're. offering you more money. and you think it's a better opportunity.

for you i understand. business is business she goes hell no. i'm married to you. i'm not going anywhere i'm married to. you she goes but. how funny is it that it took something. happening. for them to approach me. i didn't say anything and i said to her. i'm gonna let you answer that question. yourself. for yourself oh that that oh that week. my emails were blowing right up black. lives matter week i had.

more speaking requests more invitations. to campaigns than i've ever had in my. entire life. you know what it is but i'm gonna be. honest i'm gonna take the bag. do you know what i mean yeah if you're. if you're approaching me because. um you think you suddenly have had this. revelation that you need a black person. involved. fine fine i can't find uh. you know what we're gonna do say no and. then like they're gonna go have to go. because in this case. to find someone else yeah they're not. and in this country when you think about. young black successful entrepreneurs.

and jamal edwards there's the guy who. made sbtv who's been on this podcast. it's [ __ ] no one else like that are. you gonna have to start looking at. footballers. if you want young black and successful. and and so yeah. [ __ ] and also i can use that platform. as as a way to. inspire other people to change their. opinions in the same way obama. inspired a lot of naive americans to. think that oh my god a black person can. be smart. and intelligent and clean don't please i. could just so yeah i took the bags every.

single bag. all mine and you know what i i'll keep. taking them yeah. no hell yeah hell oh yeah. like are you [ __ ] joking me i said i. i looked at danny i said sanya on the. on the facetime it doesn't matter where. you go it matters what you're going to. represent. yeah yeah do you understand that you're. going to change a. young girl's life by being somewhere. being present being. vocal being ambitious do it if the. platform that's offering you more money.

is bigger do it she was like no i want. to be at toner school. of course because you yeah but that's. just loyalty that's just her being loyal. but. it goes beyond bringing another trainer. onto the app. it's about representation it's about i'm. sick and tired of fitness having. one status quo fitness is not one status. quo it's about to help people mentally. and physically. if it wasn't for fitness i would not be. alive today and that's facts. so what's next for chrissy what's next. when you think about the future.

personally i don't know business. amazing yeah stuff that are coming up. beyond um but from a personal. perspective i don't know. i really don't know i don't know what's. even happening tomorrow in my personal. life. are you happy in what sense that's the. question. for what in one sense in your life are. you happy. um i would say i'm really happy in my.

career. and i'm really happy in my community. um from a personal perspective i think i. need to just. take a breather and i would say i need. to work on my happiness on a personal. perspective a little bit more yeah for. sure. you're gonna do that. see you're funny because you asked me. the questions and you ask if i'm going. to do it and then i don't know the. answer to that question because i don't.

know if i will do it. so i don't know i think i just need to. i think i just need to be a bit more. patient with myself and a little bit. kinder to myself. and less self-defensive. listen um i've i've taken a lot of your. time and it's been a fascinating. conversation i've learned a lot about. myself as well. really yeah it's like you know on many. of these issues they are. they're issues that anybody in the. situation. you know both me and you find ourselves. in in life where we're running. businesses and we're very busy but then.

we're also trying to. fulfill all of our personal needs at the. same time when one of those you know. facets of our life is so all-consuming. we feel the same things. and we're confused by it we don't have. the answers and. as much as we want to have the answers. and have control over everything because. we are. used to that and we strive for that in. our business you know sometimes we have. to relinquish control in order to be. happy. maybe that's a lot of the answer but. thank you so much for. giving me your time today but more. importantly for giving me so much.

honesty. um and where can where can people. find you i mean you're everywhere so. don't ask questions. like you know you've got your book. coming out you've got your app you've. got your activewear line. i'm sure people will find you and um i. just want to say thank you because. there's very few people out there that. are a willing to be honest. it takes a certain vulnerability to be. that honest but it does so much for so. many people. and um on behalf of your community on. behalf of entrepreneurs like me on. behalf of. all of the aspiring female entrepreneurs.

that are following in your footsteps a. huge thank you because what you're doing. it's costing you a lot but it's giving. the world even more. so thank you thank you so much.

oh. you.