Alex Cooper: The Truth I Never Planned to Share...

I don't think they knew the impact it. was having but it was destroying me. inside. oh my God sorry I didn't expect for this. to happen. um. what is up daddy gang. [Music]. the most listened to female podcasts in. the world hundreds of millions of. downloads every month why you I do. everything for my audience it's a very.

[ __ ] up industry to be a part of. morally I don't know if I should be. saying this but it just keeps getting. bigger the more that we keep saying wild. but exploiting my life for four years. there is a cost. the last year or so that I had a co-host. I was really struggling it's all her. daddy was the biggest show ever and. everyone's like these girls are the best. of friends and it was all crumbling. behind the scenes why was I like getting. people out of bed managing like drugs.

and alcohol trying to be the fixer. someone's gonna be the victim and. someone's gonna be the villain and I was. the villain you can get down a really. dark path if you do have a goal it's not. worth losing yourself to get the prize. if today were your last day and I slid. you a phone and said you're gonna have a. conversation with your former partner. would you dial the number. I struggled so much wanting to tell the. full story and wanting to tell the truth.

before we get into this episode just. wanted to say thank you first and. foremost for being part of this. community. um the team here at the diver Co is now. almost 30 people and that's literally. because you watch and you subscribe and. you um leave comments and you like the. videos that this Show's been able to. grow and it's the greatest honor of my. life to sit here with these incredible. people and just selfishly ask them. questions that I'm pondering over or. worrying about in my life but this is. just the beginning for the day of this. year we've got big big plans to scale. this show and to every corner of the.

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what is the earliest thing the earliest. piece of context that I need to know. about you to understand the person that. sat in front of me today and all that. she's accomplished. oh my gosh Stephen. um. oh that's a hard question I would say. I think that. the. experience I had growing up watching my. father. and what he did for a living my dad is a.

sports television producer. and. I remember when I was younger my mom. would take my sister my brother and I. into Philadelphia. and we would go to the Philadelphia. Flyers games because that's what he. would produce and we would stay in the. stands watching hockey for like a period. And then after the first period we would. beg my mom like please can we go see Dad. can we go see dad and my mom would be. like okay like let's go and she's like.

you have to be quiet and so she would. bring us down to the television Studio. and every single time it would like Take. My Breath Away watching my dad because I. would walk in and he would be at the. dead center at the front of the room. with like 20 people behind him. 70 plus cameras in front of him and he. would be producing and directing a live. sporting event. and that's like my earliest memory of. realizing like holy [ __ ] I want to do. this like I want to do what my dad does. and.

um I think it was always instilled in me. also like my Dad loved what he did so I. know a lot of my friends their dad's. like gotta go to work and like I get. that that's like a lot of people in the. world but I was so fortunate to watch my. dad was the first one in the arena like. he was the first one there he had his. notes he was ready to go and then I. would watch him like produce this live. show of like roll camera a go to the. announcers roll the graphic like hit the. color and I just was so enthralled by.

that world that from a very young age I. was able to quickly locate. that's what I want to do that's what I I. want not only just like the actual Act. of producing but the way that my father. engaged with his work like it wasn't. work my dad never complained about going. he was always so enthusiastic and so to. see your your parent and a figure above. you that you respect so much be so in. love with what they're doing I always.

was like I want my passion to become my. purpose to become what I do in life and. I do think that kind of then makes sense. as to like where I am now like I love. what I do and I really accredit a lot of. that to like watching my father be so in. love with his career and his job what. about your mother. my mother is a psychologist so it's like. the perfect storm growing up I was like. Mom stop being so smart leave me alone. why do all of the other kids moms would. be like oh yeah go to the movies sweetie.

and my mom would be like you're not. going to movies you're going to a party. tell me what's happening where are you. going I'd be like why do you know these. things so it was frustrating I think. when I was younger my mom and I had a. really. interesting dynamic because I always. like to push the boundaries and I was. the youngest so I was kind of like the. wild child and I loved that my mom was a. psychologist but I hated it because she. was like too insightful and too with it. that I wish I could have gotten away. with more but I do think as I started to.

come into my own having her have this. background in Psychology allowed me to. really put more of an importance on. connection. connecting to your emotions. um EQ versus IQ like my parents cared. about our grades but they also were more. like do you know how to interact in a. room like do you know how to read the. room like do you know when your friend. is upset are you being. um honest with yourself of how you're. feeling so like my household was always. like how are you feeling what's going on.

and I'm like can we stop talking about. our feelings for one [ __ ] second but. it really was like the perfect storm of. I now on my show am so interested in. just talking and having engaging. conversations because I think my mother. it was like a prerequisite in our house. of like no no you can't leave the house. before I know like how are you doing I'm. like I'm fine but like so I think I. really admired her but in my like angsty. teen years I was like [ __ ] off like stop. asking me how I'm feeling I want to go. drink and have fun with my friends.

um but she's amazing and she's been like. probably the most instrumental person in. my life in terms of like my personal. development as a human being. when she asked you how you were feeling. when you were a kid. were you always honest with her. no oh God no I was really. um I had a hard time with like. wanting to make my parents really proud. I think they saw a lot in me and I was.

very like doing a lot of things I was. really good at soccer I was like good at. making movies and films and all the. things but I like really struggled. in school and so I never wanted to tell. my parents that because I felt like. I think I was like embarrassed because. like who I was at home was so not who I. was at school and so I was almost like. I'm still working through this in. therapy so I don't really know the full. answer yet but what I do know is I was. like embarrassed to explain to my. parents that I was like getting bullied. at school or having a hard time because.

when I got home I then was my actual. real self where I was outgoing and Goofy. and happy but then when I would go to. school I never wanted to tell them. actually like that I was struggling. which is really strange and I am still. working on trying to figure out like why. I didn't feel that way because my. parents were so loving would have gone. to school and like talked to the. teachers or the parents of the little. shits that were bullying me but I just. had this like internal.

way of compartmentalizing. School struggles and then like being at. home and trying to. engage in things that I loved and made. me happy and I just like to like. separate the two. as you were saying I was trying to like. figure out why that is sometimes why we. and my brain said like we almost don't. want to taint our our happy place or our. safe place with the with the unhappy. place it's like it almost poisoned that. place it bring that energy into the into.

that safe place yeah I think that's a. good point like. I I really struggled with. people being so mean strictly it was. just all about my appearance like I was. a very awkward kid I think I had a hard. time also coming out and talking about. it on caller Daddy because I feel like. the Persona that I am putting out into. the world is very like. blonde bombshell she's got her life. together and people are like you got. bullied and so that dichotomy I think is.

like hard for people to understand but. like I still feel like the girl that was. bullied in middle school elementary. school so I I think yeah I think there. was like a pride thing of like they can. do that to me at school but when I get. home and I'm gonna go in the basement. and I'm gonna make my films like they. can't touch that like that's for me and. that's what. honestly like saved my life to be honest. like creating content was like the one. thing that kept me going and like happy. and I was able to find my purpose.

because school was like just so awful. for me. when you say saved my life do you mean. that yeah I I actually found like a. journal I'm not crying but my I just. will not stop watering or maybe I am. um. I found a journal of mine it was so. [ __ ] sad to read I was really going. through a hard time in school I think. when you go through bullying you feel. so [ __ ] isolated and.

unfortunately or I hope like I actually. don't think the kids that were bullying. me and most of them were boys. um I don't think they knew the impact it. was having like it was like a casual. mean comment at recess but it was. destroying me inside and so I found a. journal that broke my heart because. it was basically me saying like. oh this is. if I was like if I killed myself maybe. then they would realize like how [ __ ].

up all the comments that they were. saying to me. oh my God sorry I didn't expect for this. to happen. um. I just like I think I realized like I'm. like [ __ ] like they would then realize. like the impact that their comments had. on me and I really don't think that like. I'm saying like I don't think those kids. actually knew like damn like and so I. think almost the way of thinking about. killing myself was like then they would. realize the impact and so I had a lot of.

dark thoughts that like I. I'm like I feel really bad for myself in. that moment because I think a lot of. times people are like I wouldn't take it. certain things back because like it made. me who I am I would take that back I. think what what I felt in those moments. I would absolutely take back because it. just like I don't I think I could still. be where I am and not have gone through. that type of pain. have you had to have a conversation with. that.

that go. the younger version of Alex in therapy. and stuff too yeah um it's been weird. because our job is so weird where like I. remember. do we have a tissue sorry no you're fine. I'm like whoa I didn't expect to cry. this dude and I wasn't even expecting to. cry. um. I think why I'm so emotional too is like. I'm kind of like currently working. through this in therapy and. I think our job is very strange where I. remember.

when I took the show on my own. um and I was doing like solo episodes. and I kept. realizing I had like these. people-pleasing Tendencies and I wanted. to share it on my show but I'm like I. have to give context to the daddy gang. my fans like why I have these Tendencies. and so I remember. telling my fans in the world that I was. bullied before I even told my therapist. and I do sometimes think there's like. something beautiful about that of like I. Knew by me saying that I was gonna.

immediately connect with so many of my. fans and like we were going to be able. to have an even deeper connection but I. haven't really worked through all of it. so like I think sometimes when you bring. up. things you went through and you're not. fully healed or whatever like I'm still. kind of in the middle of processing all. of it but. I have started to think about that. younger self but I I think it's still so. raw of like even unpacking like how it's.

affected me in adulthood that I'm having. a hard time like. going through all the layers of it still. have you seen sort of imprints that. remain on you as an adult I think about. my own experience being I mean talked. about this a lot on the show so people. know but being the only like black kid. in all white school being the poorest. family in the area and that constant. feeling of like ongoing shame like yeah. I think back and I've realized in my. adult life like. I always would say how I am so.

comfortable being alone I love my alone. time. but I think that comes from the initial. Inception was like such pain and hurt. and isolation. um when I was young I would go into my. room and I would cry but I would make. sure my parents couldn't hear me crying. again because like I wanted to be like. the cool soccer player creative girl. when I'm home and I didn't want them to. know what I was going through so I would. be crying or writing in a journal and I.

realized like I got so. I went through like hating every single. thing about myself externally. like I would look up remedies of like. how to get rid of my cystic acne like I. would literally Envision taking like a. razor and like taking it off my skin. like I thought of so many things and I I. just like was constantly trying to. change myself because I was getting. bullied for like the way that I looked.

and I think it's really detrimental when. you're at an age where like all you care. about is peer approval all you care. about is people liking you and so I. think the part of me that like yes hated. myself I did get really comfortable. being alone because those were the. moments where I allowed myself to have. all of the thoughts like bottling up and. not telling anyone that I was going. through this I remember. a friend of mine that I've been friends.

with since like fourth grade she was. like Alex I can't believe you never. told me because I was going through. something really similar she has red. hair and freckles and she was like I got. so bullied and we were in the same. school we were best friends and we. didn't even know we were both going. through it and I can't even imagine how. much easier my life would have been if I. at least like grabbed onto her and we. had each other but I think. bullying is very hard to explain unless. you've gone through it where like you're.

so alone you hate yourself. you almost like yeah you hate the. bullies but you almost like some you. just internalize it so you hate yourself. you don't even hate them as much as you. hate yourself you want to change. yourself you want to be able to fit in. you want to hide you and so you do. certain things where like even my my. mannerisms or my posture was so like. defeated and awkward. um and now I look back and it's like my. adult life I have ex I am working on.

working through extreme people pleasing. Tendencies because. I just wanted people to like me when I. was younger and so even sometimes I see. things on the internet where I'm like oh. he's being like too annoying or extra. but it's like I feel like I just want. people to like me and sometimes that's. all I'm thinking about that I can. imagine that comes off in a way that's. maybe not as likable but it's like I. really am just trying to connect.

um and then I think the The Loner thing. like I've had so many. I had a lot of issues in romantic. relationships where. I would be like in love with someone but. they would be like what I didn't even. know you liked me and so I think I would. avoid getting hurt and rejected because. I was rejected in those years of feeling. the ultimate rejection of again when. you're like all you care about is peer.

Dynamics friends like who's and who's. top five like boys were like repulsed by. me and so I was like I hated myself I. didn't think I was. good enough and so when I would get. someone I tried to like. have a defense almost against like they. can't hurt me because like I'm already. setting myself up to know what's going. to be over before they can like reject. me. you know when I sit here with um people. and I learn about their early years I. think there's always and probably I had. this assumption before I started doing. this that when we reached a moment of.

success or whatever when our. circumstances change the trauma goes out. the door with it and I I've come to. learn from doing this that it stays and. I've actually I feel like I've never met. a person who has managed to take that. early upbringing the early adverse are. bringing to zero I've never met the. person yeah. I'm guessing you've made progress on. these things yeah I have. I think like. when I was so young.

being in school I I started to really. struggle with my grades because. it would be like I'm getting bullied in. school and I would run home and I. started to compartmentalize so well that. creating content to me was like. literally what kept me going right and. so. I would go into my basement and my dad. gave me this like big huge clunky Sony. camera and I was obsessed with creating. these characters creating these story.

lines like I laugh now because I didn't. even put it together but I would force. all my friends all my soccer friends to. participate in like making videos with. me and we remade The Devil Wears Prada. and you would think immediately of what. I'm telling you like who would I play I. would play Anne Hathaway's character I. played Meryl Streep I I was freaking. Miranda Priestly I'm like I'm the. farthest thing from that at that point. in my life but it was like I loved. playing characters that like it like.

ignited this confidence in me where I. could feel for a minute like I I am this. boss like I am this like strong. Confident Woman. um and so creating content for me was. like this outlet that allowed me to. almost like. become the thing that internally I. always did have this confidence and I. knew I had this fun personality in this. spark but it was so tainted by the. minute I walked out the doors of my. house. when I was struggling in school I think.

I started to realize like I don't want. to do math I don't want to do history. like I just want to create content and I. think it was really hard for me to focus. in school because I almost was like. so focused on the goal of like let me. just keep creating content and I can't. explain it but it was like the driving. force for me to just keep going and to. keep dealing with a lot of the [ __ ]. that I was struggling with. therapy I'm thinking about that.

alignment you're talking about between. being being able to show up as yourself. everywhere you go whether it's in school. or whether it's on your show or wherever. also it was quite clear that in school. in your earlier years you weren't able. to show up as yourself hmm. what role has therapy played in helping. you to become. Alex when you're on camera off camera in. school in Social settings wherever you. go. well at first it wasn't changing my life.

and my therapist was like had a hard. conversation with me I think it was like. two months into us working together and. she was like Alex I need to say. something to you and I'm like am I in. trouble she's like you can't you pay me. like you're not in trouble but I need to. be honest with you. I can tell you're not. you're not being honest you put on this. facade that everything is good. everything is okay and like the point is. to come here and be emotional and you. can trust me to not.

tell anyone judge you and I think I had. kept this hard exterior for so long that. it was. really foreign to me to open up and talk. about my insecurities and what I'd. struggled with because when you're. bullied you eventually create this armor. that is like. completely sealed shut you.

you wear it and you like know the pain. but you eventually have to survive and. keep going and so I think in therapy my. therapist was like what is why can I not. like get in there and I eventually. I didn't I didn't even say anything in. that session I was like I don't know. like I'm telling you the truth and then. weirdly that was when I ended up opening. up on my show about it and then I came. back to her and I was like okay here you. go and I just spilled everything because.

I was at least attuned enough to therapy. from my mother of like I know in order. to actually have change Within Myself. and for this to work I have to be honest. but there was still like I was still. embarrassed to tell my therapist. because I knew she would look at me. differently and I thought she thought I. was like this well put together person. and I just was like holy [ __ ] I've. created such a facade that like. everything is perfect exteriorly with me. that.

I'm not going to be able to actually. undo the damage that was done if I don't. actually start talking about it and so. that was like a really pivotal moment. for me where therapy. finally broke down that layer but my. therapist had to chip away and now she. jokes about it with me all the time it's. like do you remember when you would come. in and I'd be like so and eventually she. was like why are we here. whose decision was it to go to therapy. me. did you go with with a particular Focus. or just generally yeah it was a. particular focus it was.

um. about like the last. year or so that I had a co-host I was. really struggling. um and. I was like my mom kept being like I need. to be your mom I can't be your therapist. like you you need to talk to someone and. that was when I finally so that was. about like 20. 25 24 and I finally was like okay I'm. just gonna get a therapist and it was in. New York City and I would go in person. with her. and that it felt very.

um. at first it felt very like why am I here. like I don't need this but then. eventually it like cracked and it was. really helpful but it was not easy I. will say I think a lot of people think. therapy is like sit down and tell your. secrets like it's so awkward at first if. you're not even I had a psychologist as. a mother and I'm still like I don't want. to do this but I think it's all in your. head because once you open the. floodgates. they never close you were struggling.

yeah. are you asking me with what yeah you. said you were struggling so. you probably from what you said you were. going to your mother and explaining that. there was a struggle that struggle is. that is that a social struggle with a. friend or is that a psychological. struggle or I think. in business there was a lot happening. where I was living with someone I was. doing business with we were struggling. with business like there were so many. things happening and I was.

how do I say this I was struggling. to take care of myself in an environment. that was really unhealthy. and. was. like the show was priority but behind. the scenes it was a disaster and so I. was like. compromising on a lot of things that. like morally I didn't agree with or. mentally I wasn't feeling good about and.

it was at a really weird time because. call her daddy was like the biggest show. ever and everyone's like these girls are. the best and they're the best of friends. and they're the best and like that's. life like you it's almost like how. everyone talks about like Instagram we. put our best foot forward and it was all. crumbling behind the scenes. and it was. terrifying to me because I worked my. whole life to like get to a point like. this where I'm producing a show and it. just felt very scary to me that I didn't.

have control of all the aspects going on. and the symptoms were psychological for. you psychological I was. basically in a co-dependent relationship. like it was so unhealthy. um for both of us and uh. I think. psychologically yes I even think. physically it was taking a toll on me. um and then it was also taking a toll on. my other relationships because like the. partner I had at the time was like.

bearing the weight of me. complaining about so much going on in my. life because I couldn't go at the person. that I had to get up every morning with. and record right like I couldn't be. um I had to keep the show going so it. was like. very detrimental to yes psychologically. and my like mental health like the show. came first before. I think both of our personal needs what. was the advice you you needed most of. that moment but didn't get. or maybe just before that moment.

happened because that's kind of like. that's when things start falling yeah. but if you've got advice maybe a couple. of years earlier. it would have prevented you getting into. that situation so what is that advice. that and I'm saying this because of. there's someone at home now who's you. know they want to follow in your. footsteps and whatever career or. industry it might be but when you get. into business and things start going. well. you where you just [ __ ] wish that. someone had told you. I mean.

maybe that. it's okay to. leave it's okay to leave a situation. for both people involved. um. it's okay to want to hold on to. something because. in some aspects it's really working but.

if you are compromising. your morals and your mental health and. at one point your sanity like it ain't. worth it. um. but again I think like even if someone. had told me that I had to live through. it because. I worked my hor my whole life for this. like I. finally got the show and I was producing. and I was doing what I loved but I then.

started to hate it and that to me was. when I was like. I didn't need anyone to tell me at that. point that I should. leave it was like oh I've Loved this my. whole life something's off like if I'm. this miserable. there's a better way. from that you must have learned the. factors that need to be in place. professionally for you to love work. because you you got to experience. head-on all the factors that make a.

passion turn into yeah misery. so on the flip side what are the factors. that you need and you believe people. generally need for them to like love. their work yeah. I think that the first thing is like. business is so. there's so many different layers it's so. so complicated even if it's just you so. then add another person in. it's almost impossible and I think like. it was so difficult.

my partner and I at the time had such. different wants such different you know. envisionments for our career in the. future and that is so okay but I think. the issue is like. if you have the ability to sit down. before you begin which we didn't really. have like I remember. I came home. um. one day or she came home from work one. day she was uh the third roommate to me. and my best friend from childhood we had. met her like it was like a very random.

like hey we need a third you want to. come live with us we'd live together for. like. a couple months if that and I was like. do you want to do this podcast with me. I had no idea it was going to be the. biggest podcast in the world I had no. idea her wants and what truly she was. interested in what she was passionate. about we were passionate about such. different things so it's like I think in. business you do have to actually believe. that this could become the biggest thing. you have to put your mind there and one.

that's incredible for your. self-confidence to be like if you're. starting a business. pretend it's about to be apple. Envision and and who you're sitting next. to do you want to be there with them or. for yourself are you willing to get. there and sacrifice certain things in. your personal life to get there like. whether it's a duo or a singular person. like you actually have to Envision. yourself at the end line and at your. goal because. you have to mentally start to function.

that way because then all of a sudden. you could get there and then you're like. oh [ __ ] I didn't plan for this and I. think that's kind of what we both felt. we were like. we don't even really know each other. three episodes in this is the biggest. show in the world like we're drinking. buddies like what this is not a this is. not supposed to be a business and we are. way in over our heads and I think that's. okay but I look back and I'm like. I had no idea what we were getting.

ourselves into but I do think in. business it's like. you gotta think big because once you get. there you better be prepared. and I wasn't. do you know what that's actually the. advice that I wish I'd got before I. started in business which is imagine the. day when someone comes along and offers. you a hundred million how are your. contracts. because when you start you'll you'll. you'll be tempted by oh my god of fifty. thousand pounds to ten five thousand.

pounds I here you go everything I'll. sign anything and then and you do that. often in your desperation and naivety. but then you get five years down the. line things are big and you just. absolutely [ __ ] wish and Dread that. you didn't think like this. um so there's gonna be a lot of people. listening that are either starting out. in the business Journeys that really. need to get into that difficult mindset. the thing is what you said also applies. to relationships generally. this idea of like making sure from the. jump that your Visions are aligned oh.

yeah. I also love that you said you know we. wish we could have told ourselves but. then I'm also in life like. no that was supposed to happen because. now. when I went and signed my Spotify deal. you best believe I was like who's around. me do I own these trademarks do I own. this IP do I own like everything that. felt like I had. not. focused on in the beginning that I was. like kicking myself for the second time.

around. I was like damn sure that I had like. everything locked in and I still even. made like a couple mistakes but like I I. think that that's also just life of like. you're gonna have you can try to be as. prepared as you can. you're never going to be fully prepared. but. having some ability to reflect on what. you wish you had done. differently or better or the same there.

were some things that I was like I'm. sticking exactly that course I think you. just have to think about it and be. cognizant of those steps and I think. sometimes you rush quickly like that's. like our world today it's like go go go. like take the new job don't take a. minute to pause that's where I think you. get screwed over within yourself of not. recognizing like. what's going to be different this time. you're miserable over there how's it. going to be different so I wouldn't take. it back I just think of course there's. things I wish I had done differently but.

then I did them differently for my next. deal and I am exponentially happier with. the way that I'm handling business who. I'm surrounding myself with how I'm. hiring. um you know who touches the product like. there's everything now I've formulated. and I think a lot of people think like. oh Spotify like just so many people. around her. I've. two or one people one person in my. office every day like I've kept it. pretty small because that's what I. always wanted I want to produce I want.

to edit I want to direct I want to do as. much as I can in a smart way but. you just have to know what you want. and then when you get away from it then. you really know what you want because. they're like wait I want to go that way. and that's a great thing. there's an interesting point here though. about being a people pleaser when a. people pleaser strikes it big it's hard. to like put up those boundaries and. start like saying what you want and what. you need and having because even the.

conversation we had a little bit a while. ago about aligning and communicating. what you want from the jump so that. further down the line you don't mess. things up and regret it requires a. difficult conversation at the start. yeah I I wasn't even like aware of how. much I was people pleasing until it got. to that breaking point where I was like. there were so many things I was doing to. appease people around me. to keep the show going that was so. unhealthy that now I have in hindsight.

I'm like what was I doing why was I like. getting people out of bed like why was I. like managing like drugs and alcohol and. like trying to be this like fixer and. then it's like just trying to put a show. on I think I was like a little over my. skis I just said that because I was. skiing this weekend so that's the only. knowledge I'm like over my head I'm like. over my skis. um you can get down a really really dark. path if you do have a goal in order to.

get there and that is also advice I give. people of like. it's not worth losing yourself to get. the prize. because. what what was hard for me is like public. perception so I've talked to you about. how much I care about people liking me. now I'm on a world stage and there's. comments and there's people. and there was like a public Fallout with. a woman so there's like someone's gonna. be the victim and someone's gonna be the. villain and I was the villain and I'm.

like. if this happened like to me. I think publicly I struggled so much for. a while of like wanting to tell the full. story and wanting to tell the truth and. be like I promise like. but I'm also then like my character was. like I I don't think anyone needs to. know what happened behind closed doors. and how dark it got and. but I just know that I was proud of. myself that I did. I know I'm a good person but when you.

see the internet. picking sides or doing this like it. [ __ ] with you and I imagine for her it. [ __ ] with her like it was really hard. I think for two women to go through. something so big in a coveted pandemic. um that people just wanted drama. but I think my people-pleasing. Tendencies of like. wait why are these people thinking. something that I'm not that ate me alive. inside and I had to have my boyfriend my. mother my father my therapist be like.

you both know the real story that's it. that's all you need to know and so I. think it took me a while though where I. was like I want to clear the air like. how many times are we going to go back. and forth like you know what I mean but. it can get. exhausting trying to make people know. your character and who you are. um especially when I've been talking on. the internet for almost now five years. like people think people have a. perception of me and and that's. something I have to live with and be. okay with but it's hard.

I remember someone wrote in um in the. Diary of this year this little book that. I have in front of me guess when they. leave they write a question for the next. guest someone wrote in this book If. today were your last day. and you had to have a 60-second. conversation with someone in your life. um what would you say to them and why. and I was just wondering as you're. saying all of this this was clearly a. really tumultuous pivotal moment in your. life for better and for worse in many. respects. are there any words unsaid if today were. your last day and I I slid you a phone. and said you're gonna have a. conversation with with that person your.

former partner. would you dial the number would you say. anything. no because I think in a weird way like. when there's time I think both sides and. I acknowledge both sides have their own. story that then just keeps going on like. I'm like what even is the reality. anymore we both have such different. story lines of everything that happened. if I was like forced to I would just say. like I hope you're healthy and you're.

well but. I think we're both like in a beautiful. way I I said this to someone recently I. was like it's so much better that we're. both doing our own things like that's. the same thing in like romantic. relationships like. I think a lot of times you try to keep. making something work it shouldn't be. that difficult it really shouldn't if. it's meant to work it will be working. and I'm in the healthiest relationship. of my life right now and I'm like this. feels great this is what it's supposed. to feel like so.

no I I don't think that I would pick up. the phone because I think. we see things very differently and. that's okay that's life like that's the. world that's politics that's religion. that's friendships ending that's. marriage is ending like you're just. gonna be like I don't see it like you. and that's okay. um I think the internet's probably a. little bit more invested than even the. two of us are but. yeah I think that would be just I hope. you're healthy.

cool hey Daddy. you tell me where the boundaries are. here but how big is this show you know. it's difficult it's difficult to get an. idea of it because it's kind of a black. box the way it operates in Spotify but. what can you tell me about the size of. the show because I want to go into. what's made it successful so give me the. headline I would say that it is. um the most listened to female podcast. in the world wow. wow um. it's and it's exclusive at Spotify so.

that is wild to me that the numbers even. being exclusive and you can only find it. on one platform that it's as big as it. is. um it still doesn't really like register. to me because when people say that I'm. like podcasting is weird like I don't I. don't like I'm not a singer of seeing. everyone in the audience like I just. like talk and then I go and eat a. sandwich and play with my dogs and go to. sleep like sometimes it doesn't register. but the success of this show is wild to. me because.

when we first released our first three. episodes with barcel sports. it went number two right underneath Joe. Rogan and I think every podcast if it. has like a lot of traction like the. algorithm Works where like if you have. immediate engagement of like new. followers a lot of people are gonna hit. up in the top 10. but then by week three and then week. four and then week 10 and then week 20. it was constantly just sitting right. under Rogan and then I remember like I. think it was. maybe our 10th week or something it went.

past Rogue and then we were back to. Second and it was like whoa. that wasn't that wasn't the plan like of. course the plan is to get big but I just. remember. um I remember Eric nardini who's the CEO. at barcel came in and was like just so. you know like girls your episode. um is like getting the same numbers as. our biggest show at Barstool uh PMT or. yeah and I was like.

really like that's so cool like I I we. didn't have like a concept I don't think. yet so it went viral so fast and again. that goes back to like there was no plan. like I knew in my mind like I love doing. this but like there was no plan I didn't. even want to be a podcaster like I. wanted to direct films and and TV shows. and so then after that the show only. continued to grow and. it still doesn't feel real like I think.

the craziest thing was when I signed my. Spotify deal it was very exciting for me. that Spotify looked at me and was like. we really respect what you did in the. past but pitcho switched the future. because that's why we're signing you. knowing a little bit about Spotify and. the numbers and the podcasting game I I. know you must be getting hundreds of. Millions. of downloads and streams a month. it's wild. like don't tell me that because it's.

like what it's crazy why. the most listened to. female podcast in the world hundreds of. millions of downloads every month. there's millions of podcasts out there I. there's loads of numbers knocking around. I read one recently that said there's. almost three million podcasts. why. yours why why you and why yours you must. have like slowly over time which is kind. of what we've tried to do look back and.

tried to figure it out like what's the. subtle and obvious things that I've made. you. be so successful. I think. truly there is and like I'm obviously. not being biased but I don't think that. anyone has the relationship they have. With Their audience the way that I do I. think when you start a show talking. about sex especially for women and it's.

so taboo and there's so much shame. the amount of trust that that garnered. for me in between me and them was. unmatched like I. still to this day it shocks me that. women come up to me in the street. and will tell me about. sexual abuse that they went through and. we've just met in 15 seconds they're. like Alex I have to tell you you got me.

out of this really toxic abusive. situation all of a sudden someone's. coming to me being like I married. someone because of like it's like this. relationship that I've built. I think is. something that I will never be able to. like really articulate but I know it's. also coming from a place because I need. them just as much they need me I think. sometimes in the Creator world like it. gets a little.

disconnected because we also are trying. to run businesses right and you can't. always do everything for your fans like. I can say I have been in huge meetings. with a lot of executive people telling. me what to do and I'm like. I don't want to do that because the. daddy gang won't connect that and. there's a lot of money on the table or. there's brand deals or there's all these. things and I have really been. intentional about like. I care more about the content than.

what public facing accolades we're gonna. get and I think because I focus so much. on my relationship with my audience it's. then just garnered like oh this [ __ ]. just keeps getting bigger and it is a. huge show but like. I can't explain it like if I brought a. daddy game girl in here she would be. like let me tell you our connection like. it really does feel like so crazy how. connected we are so I think that is one. side of it I do everything for my. audience I sacrifice my personal.

relationships I have skipped out on huge. family things to like make sure I'm like. no I need to give the daddy gang. something amazing this week I've never. put out an episode of caller daddy that. I'm not proud of every week I'm busting. my ass to provide for them and it's. doodly episodes. no you've never delete one episode. no never recorded an episode and thought.

oh I've deleted them like not published. them but like if I've published it I've. never deleted it oh yeah so you've like. had a conversation with someone. I've actually only had a conversation. with one person that I've never released. just because they didn't want to be. there I think their publicist [ __ ]. them over they didn't know what they. were coming in for and I respectfully. was like this ain't it but um oh I've. recorded like so many solo episodes that. I've never pressed upload on that. eventually maybe I'll like put together. and be like these were my thoughts back. then but no I've never I've never.

deleted an episode that I've published. but oh my God are you kidding my catalog. of things I haven't pressed upload on. it's like a whole nother 100 episodes. um but I and then I think the other side. of why it has been successful is like. it just goes back to. without sounding like a. egomaniac like I am obsessed with this. it I can't explain it like. every single week I'm like completely. fixated on how I'm gonna innovate make.

it better make it special so I think. naturally like there are people that got. into this industry that actually didn't. really intend for it and there's like. producers handing them scripts and being. like sit down and talk like I'm so. obsessed and passionate about this that. I do think that translates in how. Innovative the show has been and just. like the growth because I love it and I. love producing content so it's been. really. easy for me in that regard like I've.

never had a doubt in my mind that this. is what I'm supposed to be doing you. touched a little bit there on the cost. though that people don't see the. sacrifice families relationships all. these other things. part of the reason I started the show. actually was to shed a shed more of a. light on the cost of like being a CEO. because it's very glamorized everyone. wants to do it but then I think. providing balance allows people to. understand if it's actually the right. choice for them away from the accolades. and the followers and the Clapping like. is this really the right choice for you. so in your experience what has been the.

material cost of your your journey. I think something I've been really. struggling with is first of all with. regard to business I'm. such a creative at heart that. business-wise. I'm really trying to work on recognizing. like this has gotten so big I need to be. in these meetings I need to be like. I need to be interacting with people on. the business end of things and like my.

boyfriend always jokes he's like you're. 99.9 creative all times like you need to. dial it at least 10 to business Alex and. I'm like. I don't need to answer the email I'm. just gonna sit in the edit room and make. the episode so I think I've really. it's been a little bit of a challenge. like hiring people personalities coming. in figuring out how to balance being. the talent. the executive producer. and the CEO and the owner of a company.

is like. like it's it's a little it almost like. contradicts itself like things that I. should be doing as the talent. the CEO shouldn't be doing like the. conversations I'm having as the talent I. shouldn't be having but I'm the CEO so. I'm like I have to fire you and then. it's like well are you gonna go tweet. about me you you know it's like so. strange where most companies like this. that person wouldn't be a public-facing.

person so like and then my people. pleasing Tendencies I've kept employees. longer because I'm like I can't fire. this person even though they're not. doing their job because like I don't. want them to go online and say I'm a. [ __ ] and then my therapist is like. Alex sweetie. if you're paying someone they're not. doing their job. you have to fire them but I'm like so. it's like I've struggled a lot with like. who I'm having around me then on the. personal side of things. I don't want to say the word exploiting.

but I'm just going to say it then I'm. going to take it right back but like. exploiting my life for four years. there is a cost of like. I don't expect a lot of people to relate. to it it's really weird that I've talked. about my sex life and my breakups and my. heartbreak and friend breakups and. family issues and Trauma and all the. things you can possibly imagine like. that's not normal to be that open about. it on the internet so naturally I think.

there's like a what's next like always. trying to one-up yourself and that can. be really detrimental and I think when I. look back at the early days of caller. daddy like I'm embarrassed by some of. the things that I said not that I'm. embarrassed by the product I think was. great but there's some things that I was. like why did I say that on the internet. like. that was mean or that was but it was all. like I don't think people understand. like. we were being rewarded by how much. crazier it was every week it was like if. you get crazier the views go up the.

clicks keep coming so it was like this. really diabolical feeling in your head. where it's like morally I don't know if. I should be saying this but. it just keeps bigger getting bigger the. more that we keep saying wild [ __ ] and I. think in the beginning we had a handle. on it and then when we hit like episodes. 50 60 it was like throwing [ __ ] at the. wall. because people just wanted to see us. like dance it was like do something.

crazy again this week and. that's why I have some empathy for. creators that have taken it too far. where you see that line is like they. push it they push it everyone loves. right when you're teetering the line. they're like oh yeah oh yeah the minute. you cross the line even though they've. been encouraging you to go farther. farther and you fall off. what's wrong with you what you're. disgusting like that's awful you're a. bad person so it's like it's a very very. [ __ ] up industry to be a part of.

because like you're rewarded for the. chaos but if it's too chaos then you're. out. um has ever crossed your mind. being someone who publishes a lot of. content and does it frequently at a. certain Cadence you have a community. that are expecting it from you. that you probably can't stop. to some degree or the pressure that's. that exists to keep you going keep. publishing keep going keep going keep. going means that there is in some. respects you could say a bit of a lack.

of Freedom like you couldn't take six. months off right I can't even take two. weeks off. I yeah that has crossed my mind there's. there's some days where like the. the. unforgivingness of this industry. gets a little.

it freaks me out a little bit because. I've found myself like I just said being. like. wait why did I do that because I'm so. deep in it and I'm so content focused. that I'm pulling myself out I'm like the. Alex with her family and her partner and. her her real life like that's not who I. am. I think. um I actually think that's why I kind of. pivoted my show for a minute to. interviews. I needed like a break because I was like. first of all we don't need to keep.

hearing me talking like let's give me a. break like you're all sick of me. um I wanted to just start to talk to. other people for a second because doing. these solo episodes every single week I. needed something new and unique to say. and that can cause you to lose your. [ __ ] mind like I don't think people. understand like an hour of content I was. talking to my boyfriend about this he's. like I make hour and a half movies that. we work on for nine months like. every week you have an hour to fill and.

if it's just you talking. it's it's like almost insane like you're. gonna start doing things you're gonna. start putting yourself in situations to. get content to talk about things and I. started to be like this is unhealthy. there's other ways to entertain people. and other ways to feel creatively. stimulated and that's when I just. started to talk to other people and and. then interviewing I think gave me like. a real sense of fulfillment because.

it goes back to my childhood like I love. connecting with people I love what we're. doing right now this is like my jam this. is like I could let's go for five hours. every time I do a podcast people like. that was the longest podcast we've ever. done like I can't stop talking because I. love connecting with people I love. discussing topics. um and right now that's what I'm doing. on my show and again like I said who. knows maybe it will change in a year but. yeah it's a it's a weird feeling to be.

like where is the end mark. I don't think there is an end mark for. me because maybe it will look different. but I aside from all like the drama of. what we're talking about it goes back to. me being like I love this [ __ ] and so. are there boundaries I can set with. myself in order to make it. healthier just like any person with any. job like you can get wrapped up in that. and it's. not healthy.

a lot has been written about the. financial. um deal you did with Spotify a lot of. people talk about that what what impact. did that have if any on your life. there's the 60 million numbers flown. around everywhere you don't have to. confirm or deny but um. did that change things in any material. way. it was the craziest. truly the craziest feeling that I've I. still can't really articulate of like. I never started this for money I'm. really. fortunate how much my parents were like.

keep it real keep it normal like. what is all this if you're about to be. like this like like none of this matters. it could all be gone tomorrow and so. I've been fortunate to be raised by. people that like I just it hasn't really. affected me I feel like the same person. that I was in Pennsylvania definitely a. little bit more progressed and like how. I feel about myself and and I feel. smarter and you know more whole human. being but like that number to all it did. to me was solidify that the brand that I.

built. deserves to be where it is and I haven't. really let it get to my head I'll let. you know if it does but like for right. now I feel like everyone keeps asking me. like how did it change your life it for. the rest of my life will change my life. and my kids lives and like I get that. but in the immediate. I'm still working the way I always work. I hunch over at my computer I I like I. have the same keyboards like people like.

how do you not have like the keyboard. with all like there's certain like Tech. things that I could be doing I don't. give a [ __ ] I want to do exactly what. I've always been doing and keeping it. real and tight to myself and. like a little janky like I feel like it. like makes me feel like I'm still myself. and it hasn't expanded in a way that. maybe people think it has and so I'm I'm. proud of myself that I've kind of stayed. really grounded in who I am and why I. started this and I'm gonna continue to. always be cognizant of like why I. started this who I am and none of this.

[ __ ] actually matters like who gives a. [ __ ] about a purse like you could lose. it like I want to have real. relationships I want to be close with my. family I want to be respectful of. people I'm around I want people to like. me I want to make people happy I want. them to make me happy I want to have. fulfilling Dynamics in my life that is. like the richest thing I think about me. right now is like I've worked a lot of. my relationships and I am finally I can. say to the point where like I'm happy in.

my life and that to me like there's no. number you can put on that I don't give. a [ __ ] if they took that away from me. tomorrow well spot if I don't obviously. but like you know what I mean I'm like. it's it's amazing but. I still feel like the same person back. in Pennsylvania. is there this is a conversation I've had. previously with one of the very. successful. um women on my podcast you built up an. exceptional business is there a unique. Dynamic when a woman becomes incredibly. successful as you have.

in terms of her relationships with. a man some of my girlfriends have often. said to me that they think men can often. feel emasculated a little bit when their. partner is incredibly successful. yeah uh I remember the when I started. call her daddy. um. I was having a really hard time with. dating. just because as the show got bigger. yeah men were so insecure.

um but also that may have been because I. was the next morning talking about them. on the show being like this is what his. whatever looks like okay but no I I. really. um struggled to find genuine. relationships of. like again I still feel like. the like awkward girl that like still at. times looks in the mirror and I'm like. hyper fixating on certain things about. myself like I'm still insecure so like.

yes I'm to call her daddy girl but I'm. also Alex from Newtown Pennsylvania that. was bullied and awkward and insecure and. like hated everything about herself so. like I always wanted them to know that. version of me that's worked on myself to. have self-love to respect myself like. that version is who I want them to love. but you also have to love my job and. respect it and and appreciate that this. is my passion. my partner now I remember meeting him.

and I was like oh he's the one because. he's so successful in his own right and. the amount of times that he's been like. you could stop all this tomorrow I would. love you but you are so talented it's. like the hottest thing about you like. when you start talking about your job I. like melt for you because you're so. engaged and passionate and excited and I. love how passionate you are it makes me. so happy to be your partner that I can. watch you live out your dreams and.

I was like okay you passed the test like. but but it's hard like I think if you're. in a relationship. it's not to say that you there's going. to be moments where your partner's down. you're up financially. um where they're at in their career. their status like if you just got a. promotion your partner just got fired. like that's gonna happen but overall. respect was a huge thing for me where. this means more to me than anything and.

I need someone that can respect that. like I'm gonna choose a lot of times my. career in moments and I need you right. now to ride with me on this wave of like. maybe in 10 years it's not going to be. the same and. my partner like was the this is the. first partner I've ever had that is my. biggest cheerleader is you know we're. potentially going to do some stuff um. work-wise together. and he's like you be the face of it you. do like I don't like this is you like. this is like all you and it's so.

refreshing to have someone have such an. intact ego that when we're going to bed. at night it's like how was your day how. was your day all the successes all the. issues failures ups and downs we're like. we'll get through it together and that. is I'm like it's allowed me to probably. be 10 times better at my job because I. have a secure partner I have a really. great relationship and now when I'm. showing up to work I'm feeling. even more supportive than just being. supported by myself and my immediate.

family. if your partner wasn't successful in his. own right. do you think it would work. I think you have to define success. because. I actually had this conversation with. him the other day. it's not about. money it's about I couldn't be with. someone. that wasn't passionate about something. that didn't have their own sense of. identity their own sense of drive and.

want. that doesn't work for me because I'm a. very passionate person where like I I've. been on dates with guys where I'm like I. get it like you're you don't feel when. I'm I'm like electric when I talk about. my job and I think that's okay I think. you I need someone that equally has. something in their life that they feel. so driven and pulled by that it allows. two individuals to come and make a great. couple but we got our own things and so. I don't give a [ __ ] if he's not making.

money if it's every single day he's. waking up working for a non-profit and. is like I'm Gonna Change the World. go off absolutely love that it's success. to me is more that like you're. successful in working towards something. that you're so passionate about that it. does consume you at times. because I'm a workaholic and like I. can't have someone that's like. I just want to chill like and there's. nothing wrong with that I'm just a.

really aggressive [ __ ] and I'm. like I need to be working and I want to. be fulfilled and I am fulfilled by my. job so it doesn't have to be your job. but you have to be successful in. life of what you're aiming towards. achieving you have to have some type of. achievement some type of passion some. type of purpose or else. We're not gonna have too much to talk. about because I can't shut up so like. yeah yeah even if it's like you're a. teacher you're a teacher and you love. what you're doing you're changing these. kids lives you're showing up amazing it.

just you have to you have to have. something because I've clearly got. something and it's my baby and it's. called her daddy. you've clearly got something that's for. sure. I told you a second ago that guests when. they leave here they write a question in. the diary. what we did because the conversations we. have here tend to lean more towards the. vulnerable side of of people is we turn. them into these little cards so you can. play at home and no one's ever seen the. question who's written the question they. don't know who's written them and they. don't know what the questions are but.

this box has a couple of questions and. I've taken about 60 of them out but I've. picked a couple for you okay so I'm. gonna slide it across the table all. right Stephen here we go and I would. like you to pick a question out of the. the conversation cards okay. I might ask you to pick more than one so. let's see how we get on okay. whichever one calls you oh my God. I have two okay. what pain do you enjoy having.

what. um oh my God. you want to be demonetized on YouTube so. just oh right YouTube oh I've cursed too. many times no I know it's funny the. casting's fine the casting's fine I mean. I'm I'm concerned about it. later than that no pun intended. um. YouTube.

what pain do you enjoy having. I think I've enjoyed the pain of. experiencing. true love. I thought I was in love in the past I. was in certain variations of whatever I. could be capable of giving for love and. receiving for love but recently I've. really experienced the painful moments.

of. loving someone going through. grief loss death with them going through. moments of Disconnect moments of not. knowing if it was gonna work out like I. felt such pain in moments but. also such happiness and joy that. completely overrides the pain but I. don't think I've ever experienced it the. way that I have with this. partner in the beginning that it it was.

painful to get to where we are now. now I don't experience that pain with my. partner but like it was. don't curse. um you can curse it was a [ __ ]. in the beginning to try to. align is this gonna work because we both. knew it was there but we were at a. little bit of different points in our. lives and I think the yeah I enjoy the. pain of of love and like real. like once in a lifetime It Feels Like. Love. daddy gangs he'd be like you sappy [ __ ].

what we've lost. I'm still here it's okay. ask you to pick another card one more. absolutely. I told you I would be here for five. hours if you let me say like I will just. keep talking and we're flying back to. London today. um. oh. do you think your younger self would be. proud look up to you now. yeah. yeah I do.

which is so crazy if anything I wish I. could have. shown my younger self in those really. really dark moments like. [ __ ] you got this like look what you're. about to do like just wait hang in there. I think I would be so proud of myself. because I've stayed. honest with myself I've stayed loyal to. what I've wanted and I've I've gone for. it I've taken a lot of risks and I've. put myself out there which was not.

something I liked to do when I was. younger so I think my younger self would. be like. damn we did it. that phone that I proverbiably slid you. earlier on I said to call your your ex. business partner if you had 30 seconds. if I slid you that phone now and I said. you can. have a conversation with. 8 10 12 year old Alex Cooper. and you can say anything to her and. you've got 60 seconds to say it to her. slide you the phone you call her what'd.

you say. I know right now it feels like there's. no getting out of the pain I know you. feel so alone you feel unseen you feel. unloved you feel unworthy but I promise. you every single thing you're going. through right now is gonna build you. into the person that you're going to be. so proud to be in the future and it's. worth it hang in there ask for help you. don't have to do everything alone. and I love you.

in the Diary of a CEO we have hundreds. of questions that have been left by our. guests and we've put them. on these cards. and on these cards you have the question. that's been left in the diver CEO the. name of the person who wrote the. question and if you turn it over there's. a QR code if you scan that code you can. see which guest answered the question. and watch the video of them answering it. every time I've done this podcast and.

every time we've asked the kind of. questions we ask here I feel a. tremendous sense of affinity to the. guest and our aim with these cards is. that you can create that sense of. connection through vulnerability at home. with the people you love the most and I. have some good news for you as of today. you can add your name to the waiting. list to be the first in line to get your. own set of conversation cards at the. conversationcards.com. for you.

exciting. um. you're launching a business aren't you I. can't I can tell and it's is it a. product is it cosmetic what is it I. think that tell me Kylie Jenner tell me. no you're gonna be on the Forbes I think. it's gonna make a lot of sense. um it's it's staying in my space it's. I'm never gonna be like. I'm coming out with a water like it's. like I'm never gonna do something people. like oh God she sold out it's within the. next month I'll be launching something.

that. is just going to completely Elevate and. expand the call her daddy brand. um everything that I'm passionate about. that I've talked about today it's just. expanding and it's gonna. allow call her daddy to live in so many. new places and you're going to be able. to experience call her daddy and that. brand and other things that I'm. passionate about you're going to be able. to consume it and there's just going to. be a lot more that you're going to be.

able to. watch and see. you've achieved so much you know it's. funny because when I was you know. thinking about this new Venture that. you're going to be launching um. something you said earlier was really. thought provoking to me you talked about. how you've kind of just gotta ask the. world and Executives and people that. you're meeting for what you want. even if you don't really know it what. you want that like idea of like. demanding from people what you want I. think you said this when you spoke to. Jay as well on his show um and it rang.

rang a bell in my head somewhere because. I'd heard someone a young member of my. team say that they in some respects felt. like they're kind of Faking it but they. needed to fake it to get the value that. they deserve and I reflect on that I. think in the conversation with Jay you. were talking about how women struggle. with this more than men in business. because because of that sort of. reluctance to or whatever. how important do you think it is for. people listening now that look up to you. for them to fake it before they make it. or to you know like demand from the. world what they want even if they don't.

feel like they deserve it I think it's. everything because I don't want you to. be disingenuous with yourself but I also. want you to realize like. confidence is a word that feels so like. oh just be confident it is so hard to be. confident you can be confident in. certain aspects of your life and very. unconfident in others you can be. confident in your friendships but when. you walk into work you're so unconfident. or the complete opposite I would say. with business I've learned like.

if you know what you want that is. something you should be able to locate. what do you want. what do you or what do you at least. think you want what makes you happy. what's what is a goal you can at least. put on the map because if not then like. you take a little minute for yourself. like come up with something then when. you're walking into these rooms you can. allow that to kind of be your compass I. know there's so many things for call her. daddy that I've wanted to do for so long. and I know that my audience knows like I.

have kept caller daddy in this bubble. and it's almost like about to burst like. I've just stayed with the podcast I have. my merch but like I don't do much I. don't really do anything other than it. so I think when I think about expanding. in my mind it needs to be. so perfect but also I'm like but there's. so many opportunities what do I want to. do you don't actually need to know. exactly like the into the weeds of it. start having conversations leading with. that Compass of this is what I know I. want and ask people for help talk to.

people like I've been having so many. meetings that I'm like I hate meetings. just let me go create but I've been. having so many meetings about what I'm. about to be launching. and there's been people that are able to. ask me questions that I wouldn't have. been able to think about had I been at. home thinking so it's like having. a compass of what you know you are. driving towards and then opening it up. for discussion around people that have. complete different ideas and mindsets. and you will be able to find help but.

sometimes I think we think we have to do. it all on our own in business like don't. let anyone know what you're up to it's. not there no one can actually take that. away from you because whatever you're. going to do is going to be unique to you. but I do think I had a hard time asking. for help and now finally I'm having. meetings with people that are so. brilliant and they're allowing me to. think past what my brain was only able. to see and now it's opened up a world so. anyone in business don't be afraid to. even have like a hey can I pick your. mind for like a little bit like let's go.

to a coffee I just have like some. questions I want to ask you all of a. sudden you're gonna leave there and. you're gonna either know more about what. you want to do or it could have. completely spun you in a different. direction either way you're going to. take something positive from it but I. think a lot of times in business. especially as women it's like. like don't let anyone know what you're. doing like. I think that's I think it's yes of. course keep to close to the chest of. like an IP that you're working on that. like someone can't steal and you haven't. trademarked or something but like. open yourself up to other.

people helping you you don't have to do. it all on your own directionally then. you're talking about the compass there. directionally what does Alex Cooper want. I think I really am looking forward to. doing what I always wanted to do. producing and directing I didn't intend. to be an on-host Talent Let Me Be So. Clear I remember in college my. professors were like you should be like. a sports announcer and I was like No And.

like nothing against sports announcers I. just knew in my bones I was like I don't. want to do that I don't want it like I. always wanted to be behind the camera. then it just so happened that I'm in. front of it and like I'm like oh I do. like it but produce I'm like producing. myself as I'm talking right now like I'm. naturally more of a producer than just. like a talent so I think what I want to. be able to do is to explore past just. the immediate producing of a podcast. what else can I produce. [Music].

sounds like a media company or something. or a studio. the Alex Cooper. I don't know Steven. that was a long sip. shark gold thing and keep drinking. what's your next question. my next question comes from the book. let's see what has been left for you the. guests never know who they're leaving it. for.

what is one thing in your life that is. currently hindering your happiness and. what will you do to rectify it. this is really weird but. I actually was I had something. that was hindering my life a little bit. and my happiness and I spent the whole. past weekend. just. trying to figure out like how do I.

can I say this hmm. there was something that I was not. someone in my life that was. really bringing negativity to my life. and I've worked on boundaries with my. therapist and then my therapist classic. line is like you've loved set a boundary. and you hate to maintain it and I'm like. [ __ ]. she's like you're so good at me like.

boundary and then a week later I'm like. how's the boundary and you're like it's. gone I'm like oh God so I finally for. the first time just kind of ended a. relationship with. um. a friend. it was really. just like negative and toxic and it just. was like why is I I felt that like. weight that you're like oh my God I'm. waking up and thinking about this like. this is so negative in my life and I I. was able to kind of put an end.

gracefully to a situation that clearly. wasn't making either of us happy and I. was so proud of myself because oh trust. me I was like replaying the conversation. like practicing in front of my boyfriend. like how do I say this like. confrontation to me I'd rather flip. backwards and go into a different. Stratosphere than have confrontation but. I was proud of myself because I was. feeling really really icky about the. situation and I. I had a conversation that was.

kind of beautiful and ended a really. toxic situation. cheers. not easy not easy difficult. conversations. you know people ask me this question all. the time because I'm a podcaster they. always say and I'm sure you get asked. this so often that you're [ __ ] sick. of it and you have a pre-written answer. but I but I'm just personally interested. what it what to you now makes for a. perfect interview on your show like what. are the core components of just a really.

great call her daddy interview what are. you looking for from the guest. I'm looking for them first and foremost. to. find. um. I told you before this I was like. someone I just recorded with was like. everyone in the morning before I came. and filmed with you was like do you want. a cocktail do you need a drink and the. woman was like why do I need a cocktail. like you're freaking me out like I think. call her Daddy has now set a standard of. like we're gonna go there we're gonna. have really open honest conversations so.

I think I want people to come. open-minded of I'm not trying to exploit. you or exploit your life I'm actually in. long form trying to get to know you as a. whole human being and that's why I. really respect your show and you're so. good at what you do because you're just. listening and you're trying to Pivot. with them to understand who they are and. what makes them them so I think coming. in open-minded is the first bit because. I think there's a lot online. for call her daddy that people are like. here we go like this is about to get.

wild I think the second thing is someone. that is willing to. Express things that maybe they're not. even comfortable saying or they haven't. even fully thought out because I feel. like the show does a great job of. holding someone in a space of like we'll. work through it like say it and then. let's like backtrack and and I'm never. gonna let someone say something that's. wild and then they're like I didn't give. context like we'll get the context so I.

think someone that's willing to just. speak very frankly and openly I think. sometimes especially celebrities have. been burned so many times in media that. they are really closed off and I. actually think it does a disservice to. them because then they come off. more rigid or or more unlikable or you. know less authentic and so I think my. goal is always to have someone. basically trust me which is wild I they.

are meeting me usually for the first. time ever when they sit down with me and. I think that I've. been able somehow to gain this rapport. with people in the first like two. minutes before we actually start where I. think they feel like. she's definitely not what I thought I. think when you meet me in person it's. very different than what you see online. I think people immediately soften and. are like oh wait like. this feels different than what I. expected and then I just ask that they. trust me that I'm I'm really here to.

have a really exciting and interesting. conversation and I'm not trying to ruin. your life and we let's see where it goes. um but most of the time when people then. come and are vulnerable and open and are. willing to go there that's what makes. the best episode we're all going through. most of the same [ __ ] themes wise. different levels. um but the human emotion is the human. emotion I don't care if you're sitting. in one country or the other or it's all. going to be different but it is all.

relatively similar that we can at least. be like I can kind of connect to that I. can kind of connect that that's always. the goal it's like just speak and I'll. do the job to wrap it in a bow to make. sure that everyone feels somehow. connected to this person where's your. line in terms of earlier on you said it. took you a while to share with your. audience that you had been bullied when. you were younger do you still have. things now where you go. I'm not quite ready. to share that yeah or I'm thinking about. sharing this part of my life with with.

my audience. yeah I mean I've been like really open I. do think there's a couple things that I. am only just keeping more close to the. chest because I want to formulate them. with a little bit more insight than just. an immediate throw it up like I think. that the. podcasting is amazing because I can sit. for an hour and talk so I think it's a. way more stimulating to hear someone.

speak from in the first day that it. happened to me I was dealing with this a. month later I I felt like this so I I. think there's a couple things in my life. that I'm just trying to. experience a little bit more before I. speak on it anything off limits. no. I am like I feel like I've said. everything on the internet that now as I. progress anytime I'm like should I say. that I'm like I've I really.

I don't know why but I'm very. unafraid to like you could ask me. anything and I'm like I'll answer your. question like there's never I don't have. publicist with me like I don't I don't. really care. foreign. I think um okay so the the question I'm. going to ask you then seeing as you. challenge me and this is my last. question to you is it's actually one of. those cards in there it says I I.

reflected on it when I was picking the. cards that I wanted you to to to have it. was um hook your arms are crossed. why did I say. um slide me the card I'll show you which. card it was it was all in here I thought. oh that's a that's an interesting one. that's a doozy yeah this one's a real. stitch up let me find the one it was. ah it's this one. oh. I'll put it back in there and I'll wrap. it up just so you can uncover it there. you go.

it will be the first one there's anyone. in there oh. oh. no. [Laughter]. tell me something you have never told. anyone before. oh I'm gonna have to sit here for an. hour and think about this I as you know. I can never shut up so I'm pretty. open. something I've never told anyone.

oh my God. I don't know if this is gonna be. anticlimactic. but. I would say that I don't think I ever. Express. how as as great as everything I've been. talking about is like. that. my career scares me.

at times. like I don't think I've ever said that. out loud to anyone because I think I. come off with like a lot of confidence. and I'm I love what I do but like it. it's scary in moments. um. how do I explain this and like take this. out of my brain. like we're we live one life we're here. and I'm kind of like. this is what I chose to do. and I'm 28 right now.

it's a little scary to think. of how publicly I've decided to live my. life. and I. try not to think about how scary it is. at times like. because I don't think it's a very. relatable thing to say like. when I'm producing my show I'm always. like that doesn't sound relatable of. like talking about like your comment. section like.

it's really [ __ ] scary how. much every week I just keep putting. myself out there and I. it's almost like there's no time to stop. and like Wonder like am I. is this what I should be doing or would. I be happier doing something else like. because I am really happy but it's like. this public world.

isn't exactly what I wanted in terms of. like producing content. you can do while not being a. public-facing person. um so I think I I. get it freaks me out sometimes and then. I just try to not think about it because. I don't think. just like anyone if you're if you're. going through something like I can't. really explain the feelings. maybe unless you're in the situation.

which I know is like oh boo who you. chose this but like it's really [ __ ]. weird having millions of people. watching you listening to you. taking your advice. lit like living out what you're telling. them to do like sometimes I'm like oh. like. am I doing it right like am I. I think social media like it's a little. it's just a little.

weird because I don't think it's natural. so I just struggle sometimes with that. this is really [ __ ] scary like we're. sitting here right now but it still. doesn't register me that so many people. are gonna listen to this like I'm half. blacking out in this interview but I'm. like oh [ __ ] and then like these are. like my high thoughts always but I'm. like the perception that people have of. me on the internet I'm like I kind of.

feel like that is who I am but like is. that who I am like. you have to perform when you're in front. of this microphone like I'm not talking. all day. contrary to what I've said I'd never. shut the [ __ ] up but like it just is a. little unnatural and so it's scary to. reflect sometimes and be like. have I taken this too far like. what am I doing and then the other side. of me is like go like you're living your.

dream like get after it but I'm like but. like. would it be better if all these people. weren't watching and I picked something. a little bit more behind the scenes. I don't know I'm I have to figure that. out but it's. it's scary as hell it's hard to undo. right. because it's. also intoxicating and it's addicting and. it's unrelenting every single week. what's new episode what's new episode. you put out one that people don't like. to guess that was [ __ ] what's your next.

one you're like oh my God oh my God and. it's like not a normal job to have to be. like please please please give give give. give oh my God be better be better get. the next one like make it make sure it. has this many views get like you're. literally like. what like in bed at night I'm like what. is the next thing and so it's a little. it's like thrilling. and exciting as hell as a Creator but. also as a human being. it's scary how are you truly feeling.

right now in this moment or in life in. life. um. I'm really happy I really am like. probably the happiest I've ever been and. I think that's probably why I'm able to. be just so like all over the place open. right now because. I love to though think about. what's next what am I doing. um. but I feel.

very happy and if you would ask me that. like. eight months ago I'd be like no. so. I'm happy I'm just. constantly in my head thinking like I. can't stop it's like 2 A.M and I'm like. picking up my phone writing notes like. um so I sometimes I'm like please stop. my brain never is like silent so I think.

that's where when I start having. conversations like this now I'm going to. be home like. huh whoa like this has given me a lot to. think about but um. no I am really happy I just. this job is very [ __ ] weird so I'm. trying to figure it out I'm 28 I've been. doing this for only four years publicly. which it seems like it's been a lifetime. literally it feels like it's been I feel. like I've been doing this my whole life.

and then to think of how big the show is. and how many millions of people are. watching me every day and I'm like I've. been doing this for four years. that is actually a really short amount. of time but it feels so much longer than. it actually. is so. whoo. yeah well this is why this is why you're. brilliant isn't it that Obsession and. with that Obsession comes the cost of. the 2am.

note section in the iPhone that's the. cost of the Brilliance right and there's. always a cost to our Brilliance but. thank you so much for the inspiration. you've been an inspiration for me on. this show when I'm trying to figure out. which way to go and trying to take cues. on like why you know you've managed to. build such an intense immense connection. with your audience and um yeah I'm so. excited to see this production company. launch the Alex Cooper Studios and your. movies and all of these things you're. going to do in the future because. they're gonna if they if they have the. same principles as your current show. they're going to be equally as awesome.

and I'd love to invest in that if you're. ever looking for an investor so oh yeah. no thank you so much Stephen like you. are so talented at what you do and I. don't think I've ever had a conversation. with cameras around this honest and I. really appreciate whenever people are. getting vulnerable and talking about. their feelings it does take a very. specific type of human being for someone. to open up and I felt immediately. comfortable with you and you're so. talented so thank you for having me on. because this was a pleasure but now also.

I'm gonna be not stopping thinking about. all the things I just said for the rest. of the weekend I'm like. no thank you thank you thank you thank. you so much. quick one as you guys know we're lucky. enough to have blue jeans as a sponsor. and supporter of this podcast for anyone. that doesn't know blue jeans is an. online video conferencing tool that. allows you to have slick fast good. quality online meetings without any of. those glitches that you'd normally find. with other meeting online providers you. know the ones I'm talking about and they.

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