Addiction, Childhood Trauma And Depression With Joe Wicks (The Body Coach) | E60

This is the first podcast I've done this. year where we had tears. Um, and not. just once. And uh, I don't really know. how to introduce this conversation. I guess I guess the thing I want you to. know is that things aren't always what. they seem. And um, really that humans all feel the same. We. all feel the same emotions, the same. peaks, the same troughs. And no matter. what it looks like on the the outside, things aren't always what they seem.

I'm Steven Bartlet and this is the diary. of a CEO. I hope nobody's listening, but. if you are, then please keep this to. yourself. [Music]. Visualization. That's a very relevant. word, I think, to start this. conversation because in our last. conversation last year when I asked you. what you wanted to be remembered for, what you wanted to do next in your. career, you told me that you wanted to. have a legacy for getting kids all.

across this country up exercising and. really into exercise. Sort of similar to. how Jamie Oliver completely changed the. way we view like school dinners and. things. And I remember Jamie Oliver was. the reason I was eating apples instead. of Mars bars when I was younger. And. then. just like a couple of months later, the pandemic happens. and you're getting millions and millions. and of kids in this country up dancing. and into exercise. only a couple months later. It like.

boggles my mind. I've never seen someone. say something so big, such a big. ambition, and then only like a couple of. months later do it on a scale which. nobody has ever done it before. That's. what happened. And I remember when we. met and we talked about that moonshot. thing, the idea of like having a goal so. big and so out of reach that you feel. like you can never, you know, almost. never attain it. And that was my vision. It was to have that legacy of making an. impact, you know. And I do think about. Jamie. He's had amazing success as a. chef, as a, you know, an author. Look, I.

think about the Jamie school dinners, the man who went into the schools all. over the UK and said, "Look, this isn't. this isn't enough. Our kids can eat. healthier." And I feel the same about. school fitness and exercise and PE, not. just about obesity and the diabetes. thing, but I think about our children's. mental health. And I said to you that I. want to have a legacy where I can create. absolute, you know, national change and. national um create awareness around. fitness and, you know, lockdown happened. and within, you know, 18 weeks that. happened. So it was almost like a. 10-year dream happened in 18 weeks and.

I'm so proud of that that I I've reached. that many people. Take take me to the start of so lockdown. happens. Where does this idea come from? Like what what happens? How does And. then I want to hear like when you saw. the numbers, the amount of people tuning. in every day and the impact it was. having. How did all of that feel? It was an intense moment in time, but it. was also something I' I did visualize. and I did I had been working on. So I'd. been visiting schools. I on the UK tour. I went to Ireland, Northern Ireland. I'. I'd visited schools. I'd worked out with. hundreds of kids in these schools. Um, that Monday I was supposed to go on.

another tour, me and Nikki. We're going. to take the camera, you know, it's my. brother Nikki. Um, and like I've always. said, there was no TV show. There was no. money. There was no budget. It was just. me and Nikki going and doing what we. love, which is connecting. And I suppose. reconnecting with the mission and. purpose I have because when it's all. digital, I do sometimes feel like it's. just numbers and is it is it real. people? So, I have to go and visit the. schools and actually meet the kids and. do it. So, on the Monday, I was supposed. to go out on the road. We had about 15. schools chosen and Boris announced, you. know, there's going to be this lockdown. So, it was 12:15 a.m. I was laying in.

bed on the Thursday night and I text. Nikki cuz I looked at my WhatsApp the. next day and I text Nikki saying, "I've. got this idea." Um, and honestly, I saw. everything. I saw a hashtag. I saw a. logo. I saw the name. I said, "It's. going to be called PE with Joe every day. next week. Do it. Let's just try it for. a week. 9:00 a.m. um Monday to Friday.". I announced it and loads of PR, you. know, loads of school newsletter was, you know, school news letters were. tweets tweeting it and I was doing ESPN, CNN, like global PR and I thought this. is going to be really big, but still had.

no idea how many people would tune in on. the Monday. Um, and on the Monday we. went live. I stepped in front of that. camera and I was really nervous and. 850,000 I think it was live streams and. I thought, wow, like if you think about. how many kids that could possibly be and. then day two was the biggest one. So day. 2 was 954,000. live streams, which is a a world record. Yeah. Concurrent live. It was almost a million people watching. at the same time. Yeah. It it blew my mind. And I I. realized there and then that that was. like families, that was kids, it was.

schools. It wasn't like individual. people. So really, it was probably tens. of millions of people a day. And I felt. this amazing sense of purpose. Like I. was there for people that when they. needed me the most because everyone was. locked in. you know, whether you had. children or not, you were like confined, you felt restricted, your mental health. was going to suffer that day. And I was. there like to to be there and just have. fun. And I never once, one thing I was. really cautious of, never mentioned. lockdown, never mentioned COVID or the. or you know, anything to do with that. It was like it was a safe 30 minutes. where we could forget about things. I. put the music on, we were dancing around.

being really silly and that was a gift. That was my gift to the world. It was. just a bit of laughter, some feelood. energy, and a and a real boost in their. mood. When that finished, I know that. they were happier afterwards. And you. must have got a lot of calls from the. big sort of production companies and TV. companies wanting to like buy it or or. to to bring it to TV, right? Within within a few days. So, you. remember I told you the story about the. Channel 4 thing. I was trying my hardest. to make the UK tour thing and a. documentary around schools fitness, but. they never had the budget that no one. could do it. Well, within a few days, the head of Channel 4, like the top guy,

I can't think of his name, called me up. personally. He said, "Joe, what you're. doing is amazing. We'd love you to. stream the workouts on Channel 4." And I. I was like, dude, like I'm doing this on. YouTube. I've got kids in Sri Lanka and. South America and India and like even. like Madagascar and the Maldes taking. part in these workouts. I can't do this. on Channel 4. I need to be global. And. I'm so glad I stuck with that because. that really allowed it to go global. It. allowed everyone all over the world to. take part. And don't forget, I was. getting a million live streams, but by. the end of the 24 hours, there was 7 8.

million views. Crazy. So total 80 million views on the 18. weeks. So 80 million individual views. But how many families or schools are. doing that? So it's tens of millions of. kids and that was my dream. So I just. can't believe it happened. But I built. up that trust over eight years. You. know, as the body coach, as Joe Wixs, as. this missiondriven person, anyone could. have had the same idea, but maybe they. wouldn't have had the same reaction. because like I said, I've put out so. much love and energy and positivity and. visiting these schools that those. teachers knew I was going to deliver a. really fun and safe session for their.

kids. 18 million people is, you know, when you sat down with me last year and. we had this conversation, you said you. wanted to to do this nationally, right? You said you want to get kids exercising. nationally. There's only about 60. million people in the UK. You managed to. do 80 million people all around the. world on a global level, but also at a. time when people really needed that kind. of energy the most. at a time when the. country was, you know, fearful and. people were trapped indoors and not. exercising as much as they they could.

have been. So I, you know, we can talk. about the the pee with Joe thing for a. long time, but the thing that actually. fascinates me more is what happens. afterwards. So you've just that goal you set out to. achieve, you achieved it quick. How does it feel after? Well, you talk. about that gold medal syndrome, you. know, of people having this like coming. off tour or coming to back from the. Olympics and they have this kind of. feeling of like feeling flat or not.

depressed maybe, but confused and lost. And that's what happened. I moved into. this new house and I thought, I've got. this lovely house. Why? Why am I feeling. flat? And for the first two weeks I was. there, I was missing my old house in. Richmond because my children were born. there. PE with Joe was in that living. room that you interviewed me in. And it. was like this I left this energy behind. and moved into this new life. And I was. like, why am I feeling like this? And I. realized it was because I I'd lost my. purpose. I'd been disconnected from that. audience every day. Um, so when I felt. that, the first thing I do, I jump on my. Instagram. Like I said to you, I used to. do DMs and voice notes and I reconnect.

with the messages. I read the YouTube. comments so that I know 2 million people. a month were doing YouTube um workouts. before the lockdown. I'm now getting six. to seven million views a month. So. that's real people that have changed. their habits that are still doing it. Um, and it reminded me why I did it. And. also I had wonderful letters. So, I had. two two or three I'm going to say it was. probably near like two or three thousand. like letters and cards and things. That's that seems mad, but I had this. stack of um things to go through. So, I. sat in my office for 2 days, you know, laughing, crying, like feeling this.

love. It was like this wave of love when. I realized what I'd actually done during. that time. It wasn't just about me. getting kids exercising. It was like. widows. It was single parents. It was. people with anxiety and depression. living on their own. And in all the all. the different places in the world, it. was really emotional. So, I did feel. lost, but I've reconnected with that. because now I'm still doing my YouTube. workouts. I'm still delivering free. content. And although there's this new. product and this app coming out, I'm so. passionate and committed to doing that. one workout a week that I will never. neglect that free content and that. audience that are there that still may.

never buy my app or my my books. You talked about buying a new house, probably a bit of a dream come true in. many senses. Um, but again, you speak. about it being kind of anticlimactical, like in like it not feeling like that. expectation that when you got that big. house, cuz I've seen the house, it's. it's a nice house. You should have felt. like confetti should have come down and. you should have felt amazing and but you. kind of described it like you didn't. feel that like that. Yeah, I kind of thought, you know, I was. I was going to move anyway, but it was. like the the the lockdown accelerated.

because we had paparazzi outside and I. wasn't used to that, you I wasn't used. to being having like photos taken of me. in India when we walked to the park and. we lived on a main road so it's quite. public and people would knock and and. sort of say hello and it was fine but. sometimes you just want a little bit of. privacy like when you switch off. So we. found this lovely house and it's you. know it's got a nice driveway. It's got. a beautiful back garden. And when I was. in there I just kind of thought why. aren't I double as happy? I've got more. space. I've got more garden but I. genuinely felt like I left that part of. me behind in that house that was so. purpose driven. It was all about pee. with Joe. It's where my kids were born.

So, I suppose it's a lesson, and I. really talked about that when Boris. announced the lockdown number two. And. I'm sitting there in my kitchen, I've. got all this space. I'm thinking it. doesn't matter if you've got a massive. house, we live in a one-bedroom flat, we. all feel the same right now. We all feel. very disconnected, very lonely. You. know, we miss our friends and family. We. need to socialize. We need events, we. need live music, we need dinners. So, so. it's just a really important message. that it doesn't matter what situation. you're in. We're all feeling the same. And I really wanted to share that. message. And it it definitely helped. people open up the conversation because. we're all we're all struggling, you.

know, mentally with this with what's. going on. And yeah, you know, you've. talked about it before, you know, ordering the car and the house. And I. think we're driven by these things and. consumerism like we we we're always. wanting the next thing. But what I've. realized during this lockdown is I'm. happy exactly where I am with just what. I've got. And that's a nice feeling. It's really. nice when you realize that another. Rolex, another car, even another. motorbike or another holiday, it doesn't. it doesn't give you what you really. think. And I think people listening that. are desperate for that life, I think we all will come to the same. conclusion eventually. Whether you're 30.

or 60, we will all level out and realize. that what's important is our friends and. our connection and and our love to the. people around us. It's as you say, it took me a long time. to learn that lesson. And I the the. phrase that I was. You're only 27, aren't you? Something like that. Yeah. You ain't taking that long. You. know, you you've got I think you're very. When I listen to your podcast, I think. you've got a lot of wisdom. I think. you've spoken to a lot of people and. you've you've absorbed a lot and I think. you've really taken into your own um. your own life and philosophies. I think. I think it you know what I think it is I. I've also been really like. selfanalytical as in I will have a.

thought and I'll have a feeling and I'll. try and grab onto it and hold it out in. front of me and go why are you feeling. like that? So the day as you kind of. alluded to there where I realized I was. going to be very wealthy and I start. looking at cars and houses. I get this. feeling of like the feeling you. described with your old house which is I. think if I get this I'll actually feel. poorer in some way. I'll lose something. Like if I and then I thought to myself, well if I get this one what's next? If. you get a Lamborghini Aventador the the. best [ __ ] sports car, what's next? And then I was like I'm going to just.

keep going. And then me realizing that. if I if I always start believe that my. happiness was somewhere else, in a. promotion, in a new car, in a big house, it will never be here. If I if I believe that I can't possibly. be happy because I don't have X, I will. never be happy because once I get X, it's like a mirage or a rainbow. It just. moves out further in front of you. Yeah. And you see that with a lot of. celebrities, a lot of musicians, like. talented people that get everything so. young, you know, they get to that point. where they start, you know, they go into. depression and anxiety and it can, you. know, manifest in drug addiction or, you.

know, all kinds of things. But yeah, it's if you're constantly looking for. the next thing or or or almost living in. the past of old memories and what you. used to have like you talk about down. contrasting and up contrasting like that. thing you said changed my life. Just. thinking, stop thinking about what you. did last year, how you went to America. and you went to Coachella. Think about. what you're doing today and not worrying. about that. And it really just brings. you to a it's like a medit it's like a. meditation it's like a thought a simple. thought where you can actually start to. bring yourself back to the moment and. like like I said I it could be a quote.

it could be a podcast it could be an. interview little things just sometimes. it opens up a whole new thought process. isn't it and you start to think actually. do you know what that's amazing and also. I interviewed Fern Cotton and she said. one of this lovely quotes is nothing in. nature blooms all year round. you know where we're const like I need. number one podcast I need the number one. app I need to have um you know the best. book I need everything's got to be. number one. I need to be doing. everything every month for the year. But. I've realized that in nature like. nothing blooms all year round. And that. again made me realize it's okay to have. quiet months and not be in the media. Chill out, relax, because something good.

will come later on the year. You'll. bloom again and during summer. And I. think so little things like that really. open up my mind. And I'm evolving. quickly. I think since I become a parent. as well, um you start to be much more. empathetic and you start to understand. and you feel a lot more when you've got. kids. I don't know where it comes from, but I'm I I think a lot more about other. people's feelings now more than I ever. used to. I actually wrote down um when I was. watching your video that you did during. the lockdown where you start discussing. your own mental health and you saying, "I've just watched Boris's announcement. and I'm feeling really shit." But in.

that video, you also say, "I'm feeling. [ __ ] at the thought that there's loads. of families out here that are going to. lose their jobs and stuff." And I wrote. in my notes ear like incredibly. empathetic. Like you are incredibly. empathetic. And it kind of it made me. question like where where did he get. that from? Cuz that is a trait I noticed. in you last time as well. Most people in. the middle of a lockdown when they just. found out that we're going into our. second lockdown don't think oh my god. all these other people that are going to. lose their jobs and you I could see it. in your face and I know you're a genuine. guy cuz I've I've been with you. We gone.

for dinner. You know outside of the. podcast I know who you are. I'm like he. genuinely genuinely cares. I think it's grown in I think that. feeling has grown in me. But where I. used to be like, you know, when you're a. teenager, when you're a young adult, it's all about you. It's like me, me, me. me. And then you, you know, you find a. partner and you start to realize it's. about your partner and it's about your. kids. But I think, yeah, like the more I. realized that we're all connect. It's. that thing of connection. You know, it. comes from sometimes a meditation or a. feeling of like we're all we're all in. the same experience. And you know, I've. I've been very lucky. Like the body.

coach brand has grown. You know, my. YouTube audience has grown. Like the. signups of the planets, it's all gone. insane. And so I think about other. people and small businesses. I I. genuinely care about I think about. families that have run like restaurants. for 30 years or had you know properties. or had like amazing nightclubs or you. know amazing restaurants that are. suddenly going under like that it. affects me and that really when I stop. and think about all the pain and. suffering in the world it really brings. me down. It really kind of brings my. energy down and then I have to kind of. exercise or do something positive. because I start to feel a bit sad. because that is the world right now. You.

know, there's billions of people that. are going through a really difficult. time. And so, my reaction to that is. trying to inspire them to move, to eat. well, to exercise, cuz I know that it. can counteract any kind of, you know, financial pressures or stress that's. going on. If you exercise and you lift. your energy and you and you put good. food in your body, you know, even. temporarily, you're going to feel better. and it's going to change your mind. So, that's my gift. You know, I try and. inspire people to exercise and feel good. for, you know, even if it's once a day. or once a week, it's enough to change. the way you feel about yourself and your. life. We went for um a little dinner a.

couple of couple of months back. I don't. know uh I think just after the first. lockdown before the second one. Um, and. I was I came home really inspired on one. end, but just I couldn't shake this. thought. And I I hate to go back to it, but I couldn't shake this idea that you. just had the biggest achievement of your. life with this P I mean outside of your. kids in my opinion um out with this P. with Joe format that just shook it just. spread across the world, right? And the.

Joe I met at that dinner was somewhat. despondent as you say like confused and. um as you say like really unsure about. why you weren't feeling on top of the. world and also really unsure about what. you do next to to kind of like top that. I guess and it really stayed with me. It. stayed with me for like a couple of. weeks. What did you think? Do you think I was. going to be more like energetic and and. and proud and like ambitious or what? Every every person on planet Earth would.

have thought, "Okay, so Joe set out to. achieve something and he smashed it out. the park. He is on all of the TV. stations. Congratulations on the MBE, by. the way." That's a whole another. conversation. We'll get to that. That's mad, isn't it? Mad. Um, he smashed everything out the park. Um, he's got to be just absolutely buzzing. We were sat at the dinner and there's. people coming up to us asking you for. pictures halfway through the dinner as. well. But you weren't like that. And. even though I've written about this in. my book at great length about gold medal. syndrome and gold medal depression and.

my own experiences, I still when I saw. that in you, I was like, "Fuck, people. need to hear about this because you were. I'll be honest, right, that was the lowest I've ever seen you.". Really? Yeah. I suppose I I mean, I was concerned. No, I mean, look, I was I was really. looking forward to seeing you and I was. it was I was, you know, we hadn't been. out for a while, but I think coming off. the back of that pee with Joe, I was. emotionally drained. I think, you know, physically I can do workouts all day. I've done a dude, I done a 24-hour. workout. Like, I can move my body, but I. think the energy of performing, like.

going on stage, stepping in front of the. camera when I wasn't in the mood for it, when I had to like pick up every I was. literally carrying everyone's emotion. and energy and trying to and I do. believe in energy that we carry it and. we push it and we sometimes hold. negative energy. We sometimes hold. things locked up from years ago. And I. was just, I suppose, fatigued, emotionally fatigued at that point. But. I've bounced back, you know, I'm back in. the zone. I'm filming workouts again. And I'm um I'm refocused like I said on. the on the purpose and and the mission. which is like fitness for all and I've. got the app is one option. I've got the.

books as one option but then also. Instagram YouTube you know there's so. much free content because I don't want. anyone to feel like the body coach is. this premium brand and I can only get to. him through that paid subscription. No, I'm still going to give you one workout. a week on YouTube and I'm still going to. do my Instagram recipes. I'm still going. to share my daily stories and motivate. you. Um, and every now and again I might. mention the app, but it really is just. like for people that want to give it. that extra push, you know, and try. something a bit different. So, as we park pee with Joe, you know, last time you sat down here, you you put. put out into the world your your goal, your ambition, and it came true. So, I.

think, you know, let's tempate again. Uh, what is your what is your goal and. ambition now going forward in terms of. your purpose? Well, I think what I what happened I. achieved was a short-term thing. You. know, it changed behaviors, but they had. to they had to do it because they were. locked in. parents had to keep their. kids moving. Um, you know, schools. weren't providing PE. Everything was. closed. So, it was a temporary thing. It. was the start of a movement, but it's. the legacy is still continuing that. movement. You know, continuing to visit. schools, continuing to speak to heads,

and I don't see it as a government thing. cuz I've realized that you can actually. just speak to local schools and they. have the ability to change their. curriculum. Well, they have to follow. the curriculum, but they can change. their timetable. if they want to fit a. 15-minute workout in once a day with. their children or do it um you know at. the end of the day they have the. ability. So again, it's about continuing. to grow that mission to create content. maybe as a separate platform which. schools can use. But it isn't over. because like anything, motivation drops. It mot it drops for me, it drops for. you. Um different times of the year and.

with young people, they're very engaged. at the early ages in primary school, but. when they start hitting their teens, they're in the devices, they become more. resistant to exercise. So the challenge. becomes tougher as they get older. So my mission now is to continue the. school's work. um when I can go on the. road, start visiting schools again, creating content, you know, um hopefully. creating a TV show around that, you. know, like Jamie Oliver School Dinners. was only six episodes. In my head, it. felt like it was weeks and months and. months of content. So, you know, I want. to do the same thing. I want to create a.

really amazing series, whether it's um. you know, Netflix or BBC or Channel 4. where I can continue that conversation. to get one teacher or one dinner lady or. one um head of a school to believe in. the power of exercise for their. children. So, I really feel like I've. just started. There's so much more to. go. I think you have as well. And you know, so like we one thing I've learned from. doing this podcast and speaking to. guests like you is that and even Eddie. Hearn who we had on last week is how. pivotal and how defining our early years. are. And you are like a really. fascinating guy in so many ways. We.

talked about your empathy, your. achievements. Um, all of these things. suggest that you're because they're such. extraordinary things or out of the. ordinary things suggest that you. probably had quite an out of ordinary. childhood. Whenever whenever I meet. someone uh who is achieved out of. ordinary things, I always think okay. tell me about your childhood. So, how. was your childhood Joe? Oh, so you think you don't think it was. a stable childhood? Do you think there. was something a bit more that motivated. me on to. Yeah, I I think I think um and it.

doesn't necessarily mean it was like a. really bad childhood or a good. childhood. I always, you know, and I. actually did childhood psychology for. two years, which people don't know. about. This is why I'm so fascinated by. like all the Freudian um psychology and. and how one thing that happened. I've. got a friend who told me that one thing. that happened when he was a kid, he. still remembers to the day to this day. and he holds that one comment that. someone in his family made to him as the. reason for his probably his single. biggest flaw in his personality and it. was just one comment on one day from a.

parent. Yeah, that's that's that's amazing. And. it's the power of um. yeah the power of a negative thought. like if someone says your teeth are a. bit crooked or you've got skinny legs. like someone could say you got lovely. teeth your whole life but you still. think your teeth are crooked and that's. happened to me in the past. I got. Invisalign because one a girlfriend said. to me once, you know, your teeth are a. bit wonky or really, you know, and and. someone said about, you know, this is a. true story. When I was 16, I had. glasses, but I was really embarrassed. I. was really shy about it. And the the. girl I was going out of said I said. something like, "I wonder if I'd look. good in glasses." And she she said, "Oh, no, you'd look silly in glasses." So, I.

never wore them for two or three years. I hide them in my car, drive to her. house, take them out. And, you know, it's that thing of we really take on. these these thoughts and it can really. affect our confidence. Um, that. definitely happened to me as a kid. But. I suppose my childhood was very chaotic. You know, it was very unstable. My dad. was a drug addict from a very young age. So, you know, that was it was a bit. like, you know, he was there one minute, next minute he was in rehab, next minute. he was he was back on the gear, you. know, and he my mom would take him back. and it was all good and then they'd be. arguing and, you know, I lived in a.

council flat with um really thin doors. So. it was like um it was like plywood and. so there used to be holes in the wall. It used to be holes in the door cuz I. remember um and I used to think why are. there holes in the door? Like and I I. look back now I know it's cuz mom and. dad used to fight and argue and you know. it' be like it was a symbol of. aggression and impatience and. intolerance and then it'd be gone. And. so I always I didn't have a positive. role model in terms of in terms of a. male and also when it comes to marriage. you know my mom and dad never got. married. If they were married they would. have been divorced hundred times. So I.

had similar beliefs around marriage and. commitment to you. Like when are you. talking about it? Like I I suppose I had. the same feelings when I was 25. I. didn't believe that people stay. together, people are committed, that. marriage is going to work, that you. know, people get through tough time. because it was always like when it got. [ __ ] and tough, my dad would piss off. and we'd be back on our own again. So. you know, again, it was a tough. childhood, but also I had a happy. childhood. I didn't I don't feel like. resentment. I don't look back and be. like, I wish it was different. And I. wish my dad was there because we got a. great relationship today. But it.

definitely affected me. You know, the. destruction of drugs in my household and. what came with it, all the chaos really. put me off ever wanting to smoke weed or. drink alcohol. You know, I was so scared. that I was going to enjoy it and I was. going to become an addict. I thought. it's a genetic thing. I thought I don't. want to be a drug addict, so I wouldn't. go near it. So, it definitely um it. definitely shaped me, you know, and when. I look at where my love and generosity. and empathy comes from, it's my mom. like my mom is she's so kind and loving. and she's so always putting other people. first and I think that definitely shaped.

me as a as an adult. I didn't actually know this stuff about. you before. I didn't know that you'd. been through such a um tra traumatic. early childhood and as you were saying. that I was thinking [ __ ] hell. remarkable that you are who you are and. that you have such feelings of empathy. and you're just such a kind human being. having gone through such a you know. violent and traumatic childhood and I. guess that is credit to your mom. Um. I suppose yeah I look back when I get. asked in interviews now like where where.

did your generosity and your kindness. come from and your kind of desire to. want to help others. It's about help. I. you know I'm happiest when I'm helping. others. So, if I know I'm helping. someone or I'm helping millions, I'm. really happy. And so, when it when it. stops, I felt I'm not I'm not I'm not I. haven't got my purpose. I'm not. valuable, but I realized I am still. valuable. I'm still helping people. Um, but yeah, my mom, you know, she left. school at 15, no qualifications. She met. my dad in a squat. She had my brother. when she was 17. Then she had Nikki. She. had me when she was 19. She's like a. kid. And when we used to go places, like.

people say, "Is that your sister?" She. looked so young. You can't imagine. Um, but somewhere along the line, she. taught me value. She taught me respect. You know, if I had to be home at 10:00. on a Friday night, I was home at 10:00. My mates were down the park till 1 2 3. cuz their parents let them run loose and. they were the ones graffiti and they. were the ones smoking weed. They were. the ones that got in, you know, in. trouble for, you know, crimes and. whatnot. So, my mom was really, considering she wasn't parented. Her dad. left her when she was a kid. She was she. was a banner when she was a baby. So I. don't know where her love comes from,

but she's got this ability to just love. and and be so generous. And when she. went to university, she went back. She. said, "I want to study." She she went to. become a social worker. So the first. thing she done with her life was go and. help people that had, you know, young. offenders, people that had been through. abuse and and all this stuff. So it has. to come from her. It is emotional cuz my. mom, so I took my mom for dinner um the. night before it was going to be. announced and I said to her like, "We're. celebrating my birthday tonight, aren't. we? Cuz it's we we were having a late. birthday dinner." But it's something. else. MB. Yeah, my MB. And I said, "Mom, um, I've.

got an MB." And she We're in the middle. of Lucky Cat restaurant in London and. she burst into tears and I'm like in the. middle of the restaurant crying with her. and she's like when she was younger like. all her friends used to say, "You're a. [ __ ] [ __ ] parent." Imagine the pride. and it is it's she raised me like I have. to put it down to her. You talked about your dad there and said. you said that you've um after all that. you'd been through and all you'd. observed and his addiction and his. battles with addiction, you've got a. good relationship with him now. Yeah, we. we do because, you know, addiction never. goes away. Like he's, you know, he does.

his NA meetings. It's a part of his. life, but he he needs that. He needs to. have a fellowship and a network of. people to talk to. Like I don't. understand addiction. I've never been. addicted to anything. So for me, it's. like it he needs that that network of. people he can talk to and that's. obviously at the moment mostly through. Zoom, but usually it's like NA meets. you, you know, you go and have a talk. and you you feel better. and he's had, you know, he's had therapy, but you. know, he's learned he's he's became he's. evolved like again like his dad left him. and I understand my mom and dad because. they went through so much trauma. My mom. was abandoned when she was 2 years old.

was living in a she was in a um you know. a an orphanage and then my dad the same. thing his dad left him like he didn't. have you know he didn't ever say I think. I don't think my dad's dad told him he. loved him until he was like on his. deathbed when he had cancer. So, like I. understand where that addiction, why my. dad chose to like do that with his life. and I understand why my mom had OCD like. cuz I know what she went through as a. kid. I know what she went through as a. young teenager. And so, you start to. understand it and then you start to. really love your parents even more. because they protect you when you're a.

kid. They're just protection. They can't. tell you what they went through. They. can't tell you this stuff. So, it really. like makes you realize how much trauma. they've had and where that's manifested. And so, now like my relationship with my. dad is I understand him. I understand. that he he has seasonal depression. during the winter he's really low and. he'll have a holiday and he feels great. and he comes back and he's up and down. and that's him and I just have to kind. of love him and although I'm quite. consistent with my emotions and you want. everyone around you supposed to be happy. all the time didn't you think I'll buy. him a motorbike I I'll send him to the.

molds I he can go and stay at my house. in America it's all temporary it's all. it doesn't do a lot you know so real. connection comes from like communicating. reaching out spending spending time with. him like he's happy when comes around. and we go for a walk or we go on our. skateboards together you know we got. electric skate So, it's about. reconnecting and being with him. And he. he needs that. My dad needs to see the. grandkids. He needs to see my brothers. He needs to see me. And um yeah, I've. just learned that like I said that. really nice quote that the the you know, the antidote to addiction is connection. Not push them away. I hate you. I can't. stand it. Why are you relapsing again?

Why are you going into depression? You. know, the mind's really complex and you. have to like understand that people. aren't going to always be how you want. them to be. And you have to love them. unconditionally. But if you asked me as a teenager, I. would be too angry. I would be like, "Fuck that." No, like I can't deal with. it. I don't have a dad. My dad's a drug. add. I don't speak to him. I wouldn't. have had the emotional um ability to. deal with that. But now, as an adult, I'm 35 and I can understand it a bit. more. So crazy cuz um I love that quote, by. the way, and it I think Johanna Hari's a. real uh sort of I think I've got his.

book on the shelf behind me about loss. connection. That's where it's from. Yeah, that's I. think Russell Brand mentioned it to me. and I thought, "Wow, it's such a nice. thought.". And that's what the book is about. It's. about the the real reasons for. depression and anxiety fundamentally. stem back to a loss of connection of. some sort. And it was it was telling. when you were telling your story about. the generational sort of cycle that's. going on there. Your mother's, you know, your dad and her upbringing and then. your father's dad and how like it was a. a lack of connection it seems that put. them into the situations they were in.

and then that lack of connection made. them a certain way which then nearly. made you treat them with a lack of. connection as well. And I think the it. seems like much of the reason you're. able to break the cycle is because. you've realized that and you're like, as. you say, bringing bringing him close. despite, you know, I talk about this a. lot with my friends that have um an. aranged parent or have lost a parent and. I always try tell them I was doing it. this week. I was saying you've got to. forgive them for their own faults. because their faults have come from some.

kind of trauma. And Tony Robbins says it. as well. He says, "You've got sometimes. we've got to forgive our parents for. being imperfect, not being the parents. we hope they were.". It's so true. It's so true. And like you. said, you know, memories memories can. form like your literally change your. characteristic, your personality, your. belief system. And I had really negative. beliefs around commitment around um you. know, people being faithful, people. sticking together, like when things got. tough, the people and even I'd be. affected if like celebrities that I. really loved like they'd break up. I'd. think see that even they can't stay.

together. I just thought no one stays. together. No one's loyal. No one's No. one's ever like actually happily married. and stays together. But now as a married. man with two kids who I love, I'm really. really like I don't believe that. I. believe that you can be happy. I believe. that when I see an old couple on the. bench, you know, a 78-y old couple, I. love that. I think how amazing they've. spent their life together, I want to be. like that. I want to be a couple that. have stuck together. So it's, you know, my child has affected my um my my love. and commitment as as a in a as a rel in. a relationship to to Rosie, but also as. a parent. Like I don't want to be.

impatient and intolerant and snappy and. swear and shout, but that is my default. setting. That's what my head's trying to. do when Indie and Molly is screaming at. me. I want to slam the door and walk out. the house or I want to scream and shout. back at him cuz that's what I that's. what I had as a kid. So I have to. actively work against that. So although. I might be screaming in my head, I just. take a breath and I like almost just. sort of um yeah, just take a moment to. just sort of calm myself and then I can. react very differently. But that is. that's like a muscle. You have to train. it. cuz otherwise I just be screaming and. shouting all day long,

you know. So that's definitely it's hard. to do that when you've had it all your. life and you just got, you know, screamed at, shouted at. It's just it's. like what you know, isn't it? Default. It's. a default. Yeah. Like it truly is. It's. like a it's like a computer program and. you have to sort of try and undo that. code. Um and I read a book called um. calm calm parents happy kids. And it's. that thing you can either fight flight. or or pause and have a breath. You can. fight him and swear and shout and scream. and slam the door. You can run out of. the house and just deal with it and let. them deal with it and just not even deal. with any emotion and show no emotional.

control. Or you can pause and have a. breath. And that's the the secret. It's. just having that right. Indie's 2 years. old. Her brain's not rational. She can't. understand why I really want to just. clean the side and put her down on the. floor right now. And so like you've got. to literally remind yourself every time. And then you can start to really respond. differently. We're all human. You have days where you. you get it. Oh have days like I mean of course I. have days where I shout and I lose the. plot and I feel terrible but also I know. that she won't hold it against me like. the amount of times I was shouted at I I.

love my mom to death so it's not like. she shouted at me I think she's terrible. and I don't love her for today like I. think it's okay to not be perfect and. not be a perfect parent and the other. day I had a row of Ros and I said I'm. I'm sorry I'm not perfect every day I'm. sorry that some days I'm so Ros is my. wife. I said I'm I'm I'm sorry that I'm not. perfect every I love you so much I'm so. affectionate and sensitive but if I'm. stressed and I've got something going. Some sometimes I'm snappy, sometimes I'm. impatient. And I don't shout at the. kids. I might shout at you and I'm. sorry. And it's nice to say that out. loud and have a bit of a chat about it.

because then you kind of move on and you. can just, you know, get on with it and. you and you learn from it. You're getting busier, right, with the. app coming with the app stuff you're. doing. You're getting more requests than. ever before surely. Dude, I'm so I've. this has been the year like I've I mean. I've worked hard really have over the. last years and during the growing stage. like with social media, you know, it's. hard building an audience and then I. kind of had great success with the books. and now like you know this year since PE. with Joe um the 24-hour challenge I I. then done Wake Up with Joe which is. three workouts a week for lockdown too. cuz I thought they need to exercise,

people need to move. I've now had the. book PR. I've been doing radio. interviews. I've done the channel for so. the BBC children need 24-hour channels. I've not stopped. Like I don't know how. I'm still going, but I now at this. moment need more energy than ever. because this is the busy time. This is. like leading up to Christmas. I'm also. doing a January boot camp. 5 days a week. I'm doing live workouts through the app, you know, which is great because it. means people are going to go, I want to. give it a go. And it's a really amazing. way of marketing the product, but I'm. going to be exhausted. If you think about your state and your. mood and how you feel within yourself in.

the midst of all this like chaos, and. then we've got the pandemic rattling on. outside as well. What impact has it had. on you? Um, all of this busyness and now. you got two kids, you know, that are you. growing up and screaming at you and. don't want to be put down. Have you felt a change? I deal with it in different ways. Like. usually I have these like blocks where I. I'll work for like 2 3 months and then I. go, "Right, I'm going to go to Santa. Monica for a few weeks or let's go um. have a nice week in Dubai just to like. unwind and leave the phones and stuff.". And I've missed that. I've missed that.

just that reset button because I've had. a I had like a couple of days away um. just when lockdown was over but it. wasn't enough cuz I actually spent my. time filming workouts because I said I. was going to do three workouts a week. So although I was there relaxing I'm. still there and my what I do is so. physical like. you know being being physical and doing. exercise but also doing it with such an. amazing energy through the camera is so. draining but last week has been the most. emotionally draining. I was doing like. radio interviews with um like Jamie. Oliver and Ricky Jase and doing all.

these things. I'm it's out of my comfort. zone completely and then I had phone. calls every every hour on the hour to. promote the new book. So that is a. different type of emotion. And when we. talk about the body coach so you know I. am the physical body like the energy and. Nikki is like the CTO. He's the brains. He takes all the all the things I can't. the process stuff. Nikki's on a laptop. doing Zoom calls 9 hours a day like. managing this agency um and all the. other marketing stuff. together we have. this perfect kind of relationship where. we are working as equally as hard but. we're taking we're doing what we can do.

so I don't feel like burning out but I. do think at the end of January I need to. block a month out so I've taken the. month off hoping to go you know. somewhere nice I love Costa Rica I'd. love to go with the kids you know just. just just unwind and basically when I. have that time down off the offline and. I'm not filming it really re-energized. me when I come back I'm like I'm like. reset and like body coach volume two. ready to go again sort of thing. You. talked a little bit there about marriage. earlier and you've also you've also. heard me on this podcast talking about. marriage, right? I want you to tell me. where I I'm getting it wrong.

and also why you think I'm getting it. wrong. So, I listened to two episodes of your. podcast and I I really hear I hear. myself in you when I was like 25 and I. was lo and I I feel like a part of you. is lost because you've got everything on. the surface you could possibly want. you've you've smashed it in business. like you've got an amazing story and. you've got you know incredible success. which is wonderful but there's that. maybe you're missing that deeper. connection with one person you know. you've got amazing friends and you've. got a great network of people you work. with but I do feel like the the love. between one person you know it's.

different it's a different kind of. relationship where you can always lean. on them so when I was 25 I was in a. relationship from 19 and I really I was. running away I couldn't commit to it I. didn't I used to say like exactly what. you were like this marriage it's like. this religious thing. It's a contract. and why should that person get half of. what I've got and what it's not going to. work. All my other friends are unhappy. They're all divorced. You know, one in. three marriages. So, the more you tell. yourself that, the more it becomes true. And the truth is how you feel now is how. you feel. And what you believe now is. what you believe. But when you meet.

someone and you you realize and when you. do fall in love in whatever way sense. that could be, it was almost like with. Rosie, I was telling her every day I. loved her and it wasn't enough. It was I. needed to tell her more. I needed to. have something stronger between us. So, I said, "Can we have a baby?" You know, then she fell pregnant and we had Indie. So for me, in my head, the ultimate bond. between two humans is another child. And. then when she was pregnant, I never. thought I would get excited about the. idea of like proposing and getting. married. But it was just it just. changed. My mind has changed as I.

started to think, do you know, I love. this girl. I don't want to be waking up, you know, every other week with a. different girl in a different hotel. I'm. like, that's not who I have been. It's. never who I'll be. So I I love being. with I love being close to one person. I. think I'm quite um emotional like that. Um, and then I asked her to marry me. We. had this amazing wedding day. And I do. love being married. And I just think. when you have kids and you start seeing. your children grow and you you see how. wonderful that can be and how much joy. they bring you. I just think your. perspective will change over time and. you're just not there yet. It might you. might not get that till you're 35. You. could be 45. I was 30. I met Rosie at.

30. Okay. And I've been the happiest since I. turned 30. Honestly, I've just been I'm. commit cuz being honest and being. committed is two of the most wonderful. things. being sneaky, being deceitful, not being honest or being jealous and. insecure. They're feelings you do not. want to go through your life with. So, when you find someone, you know, be. committed and be loyal, it's it's a. really it really takes your love to. another level. Do. you believe in that? You know, there's a. bunch of words people use in uh in this. in this realm of like love and marriage. Uh they say, you know, you got to find.

your soulmate. I don't know if it's soulmate, but. everyone says, "Oh, hard, you know, love's hard work. Marriage is hard. work." It isn't. It doesn't have to be. hard work. Not if you're with the right. person. Of course, you could get with. someone too young, marry the wrong. person, it all goes wrong, and you know, that's a bad experience, but it doesn't. mean that the next relationship won't be. better, and you can't improve and learn. from it. But, you know, I do feel like. Rosie is is the kind of female version. of me. Like, when we met, you know, we. were just having so much fun, and she's. she's a wonderful parent. I watch her. and I see how patient she is. I think I.

learn a lot from her because I I I've. got like a two or three minute kind of. tolerance of Marley screaming and. screaming in my face where I just have. to walk out the room. I just can't. handle it. She can be in there like 20. minutes all through the night and I'm. like, yeah, with with with Indie crying. or Marley teething and I think it's. amazing. She's just got this natural. innate like motherly patience and love. and tolerance. So I watch that and I. literally like go I need a bit more of. that and I sort of learn from it. But. yeah, I mean you know maybe maybe you. might have one relationship last 5 years. but I do believe that when you are in a.

relationship like give it all. Don't. don't be thinking this is going to end. soon. This my last one didn't work out. I know now it's going to break down and. we're going to end up breaking apart. We're going to end up leaving each. other. She'll she'll have an affair. I. I'll I'll leave her. It won't work. That. just it's hard to be happy in that. situation. So, I think take every. relationship and just maximize it to to. the best of your ability like you would. with someone that you work with, a. business partner. If we went into. business together, you try you try and. make that partnership so like awesome. and so effective and efficient. And it's.

the same with a relationship. you've got. to, you know, keep keep doing the things. that make you happy and and yeah, I. think with Rosie, like just having a. night out, going for dinner. Um, and. the, you know, the the secret is if you. stop kissing, you're [ __ ] If you. don't kiss your girlfriend and you stop. kissing, you just bypass each other and. you don't because everything starts from. a kiss. Do you know what I mean? It. could become a massage, could become, you know, you might do a bit bit of. hanky panky, but if you stop kissing. that one thing, that intimacy, I feel. like I feel like everything breaks down.

Seriously, keep kissing. It's one of the It's probably the only. thing that I've thought about going and. seeing a therapist about is like I have. a fairly negative pessimistic, let's. say, perception on romantic. relationships. Um, and I I think I've. identified that on one hand I'm my. expectations are probably like somewhat. unme unmetable and then on the other. hand I kind of see relationships as. being like a bird in a cage is the best. way. Where's that come from? Like, so I know. your mom and dad and they're arguing.

leaning at each other. My my parents. So that's the only that that's the only. marriage role modeling you're you're. basing your opinion on. Yeah. So I I I have these but when I say. my parents screamed at each other, I'm. like my mom I've never seen since a. human able to perform the screaming. match she did. Nigerian woman and if you. don't know Nigerian women I do visualize. it like around a kitchen table. The sound is un like you've never seen. My dad actually said one day, he said, "I your mom was screaming at me." This. is I think when we lived in Manchester,

probably before I was born. Your mom was. screaming at me and I went out like went. shopping, did all that. She had no idea. I came back and she's still screaming. She had no idea that I'd left the house. And the the the the sound of it. I I. have this like mental image of my dad. sat passively just this like passive. white guy just sat there watching TV. just looking at the screen and my. African mother like kind of stood above. him just bellowing into his face at full. volume for like six hours. She didn't. lose energy. We talked about like. exhausting herself. She didn't lose her.

energy and she would follow him around. the house. And so I'm think I looked at. my dad and thought he's trapped and this. is what my my. you know that that experience of seeing. your mom shout is thatffect has that. like affected your you know your are you. calm and you know when you argue are you. confrontational are you like cuz me and. Rosie are more like silent and we sulk. and we're so stubborn and we'll like go. two days about talking. We don't scream. and shout at each other. Are you are you. quite a shout? I will never shout. Oh so you're calm. Never. I will not do it. I I will the. minute so I will try and explain myself.

in a very calm way and then I'm like. okay I'm going. right and walk away. I will like. do you ever say sorry? Do you ever admit. you're wrong or do you find it hard to. admit? ask me. So if you had asked me. that question two years ago, the answer. would have been like no, I never say. sorry. Like cuz I always kind of think. I'm right and it's like my way or the. highway. In the last year and when when. I was I got with this this certain. person um who I won't name and. she kind of taught me to like grow up a. little bit and and I started to. apologize for things and I started to.

learn to apologize a little bit more. But I'm I got to be honest. I'm not. going to lie. It's like the whole point. of this podcast is not to [ __ ] lie. I'm still not that good at it. It is hard. I'm the same. I find it hard. to say sorry in the moment, but I do if. I go away for a little half an hour, an. hour, have a walk or do a workout, I do. come back and I go, I was a bit. disrespectful there. I do apologize. But. yeah, it's an ego thing. It's like you. just got to let your guard down. One. thing I say about relationships, which I. really think is valuable. I can't. remember why I heard it or read it, but. it was about you can be in a. relationship with someone and this. expectation thing where you want them to. do everything perfect and be everything.

in one and be like this amazing like. just like unicorn, right? But you might. find them really attractive and really. funny, but intellectually they just. don't challenge you. Just you can't have. conversations about work. They don't. understand you. But you can ring me or. Nikki and we you can get that that that. that part of a relationship with from. someone else. So there's no pressure on. that person you're with to like be. really intelligent and really understand. business and really understand social. media. Like that's something I've. learned that sometimes you have to love. the person for what they've got. you. know, love that they're really. affectionate, love that they're really.

caring and considerate, but maybe other. elements of their personality, you have. to get from someone else because the. chance of you finding the unicorn is so. rare, isn't it? You're going to find that. And and also. you like you might be amazing at certain. things, but you might not be good at one. thing. I'm not a unicorn. This is the problem. Who is No one's a No one's a unicorn. really. No one's completely perfect. because when you're in a relationship, you want the other person to like, you. know, do everything like you and be. interested in the same things as you. like Rosy's not into, you know, motorbikes, but I go my brother and my. my little my little brother George and.

my dad. So, I kind of get I scratch that. itch and I come back and then I spend. time with Rosie and the kids. So, it's. really about finding the needs at uni as. a human being. in in maybe in multiple people and then. you can really just focus on what you. love about your partner. does help. You talked a little I talked a little. bit about there about going to therapy. Have you ever gone to therapy? So, this. week I had my deadline for my book, Happy Sexy Millionaire, which you can. now pre-order. And it's been an absolute. uh labor of love over the last couple of. years. And because I had the deadline on.

Sunday, I was head down, smashing it. out. Um, typically like me, forgetting. to eat my meals and things like that. And um, and this is where he saved me. once again. And I was in my office until. 6:00 a.m. in the morning. Um, was. getting very, very tired. I've had two. Hules and um I had dinner as well and. it's for me that was the perfect that. was the reason why I've teamed up with. Hule because someone like me in that. situation would basically either. completely skip meals, I would not get.

my sort of vitamins and minerals, I. wouldn't get protein, then I'd start. feeling like [ __ ] um because I didn't. have the time. And that's, as I've said. on this podcast before, the reason I've. um I'm so attached to Hu, the company, the brand, the the founder, Julian, because it really does save my ass. And. it has done for three years. And if you. are someone like me, you know, that does. have uh a very timelmited life, then I. really really recommend you give Hule a. shot. I really recommend you you give.

berry flavor hu a shot because that is. my favorite flavor. And um yeah, so this. week I just wanted to shout it out. because you definitely saved me on. Sunday when I had my book deadline. And. also go and check out my book, Happy. Sexy Millionaire. It's quite nice. It's like um. it's like Nesquick, isn't it? Yeah, it's nice. I do like that. I talked a little bit about there about. going to therapy. Have you ever gone to. therapy? I I call it the gym, but yeah, I think. my therapy from a kid and I look back.

like for sure like I was stressed. I. didn't want to go home. I would be. always out the house, always playing. sport. I think it was my therapy and I. dealt with things through sport and. maybe that's why I became the body. coach. But I think I had um I had one. therapy session with a counselor once um. because I was basically in a. relationship I didn't want to be in and. I needed to talk to someone about it and. I had that session and I I just spoke. and and verbalized everything I was. going through and it was almost like. just by saying I was like I know I need. to walk away from this now and I I went. home and that was it. So it was really.

it was an investment. And it was like an. hour of my time. Um I I I spoke to. someone cuz it wasn't my mom who was. invested, my dad who was invested. It. wasn't her parents and my friends who. really cared about her. It was like a. completely neutral person. And it really. helped because it changed the rest of my. life because I left a relationship I. wasn't happy in. I met Rosie. I got. married and I had kids, you know. And. this is the situation. I was 19 when I. met that girl. I was backpacking. I was. in a bar in Australia. You're very. different 10 years later. So maybe maybe. there can be such thing as a.

relationship that's really great at a. certain time in your life, but then when. it's not right and it isn't working, having a child and marrying that person. is definitely the wrong thing to do. Um, and I didn't really realize that until I. met Rosie, just how how unhappy I. probably was in that last relationship. So yeah, I've had it once and I I think. if I if I feel like I I need it, I'd be. open to it. I've got a lot of friends. that do it. It's like I see it as like. personal training for the mind, isn't. it? It's like why not why not take care. of your brain and your heart and your. mind? And that can be done through. therapy. So, I'm open to it. Um, I just. haven't felt I haven't had the calling.

I'm more interested in um I really like. the idea of doing an iOS ceremony. Can we do it together? Do you know why? I'm just I I listen to. your podcast. I listen to like certain. people that do it and I I'm drawn to it. because of that gateway and open up that. that even more love and more connection. when you realize we're all so. interconnected and obviously you can. meditate for 10 years or you can go and. do an arc serum and apparently you get. it's like a fast track to that feeling. But yeah, you've talked about it. Have. you have I mean I was in Mexico in Tulum. and they they were doing like pot.

ceremonies out there and I I just. couldn't quite convince myself to do it. but I would love to do Iaska one day. like go proper into the Amazon do it. properly with a shaman and like you know. feel feel that mother nature they talk. about that feeling of like the earth and. the connected to the human race. It must. be a wonderful feeling. Have you ever done mushrooms? I've never done mushrooms. No, I've. never I've never done drugs. So I. couldn't really um. I've never done anything like that. I've. never done mushrooms or I amasa but I. the more so I've just I've just invested. almost a million dollars into a. psychedelics company that's using it to. cure mental health disorders. We talked.

about this didn't we? Yeah. For the psilocybin so my dad was. involved in the trials at um the. Imperial College London. is involved. He. was basically um one of the uh not the. guinea pigs but yeah he it was a trial. between psilocybin um a placebo and an. anti-depressant drugs and obviously the. the studies come back that like this can. really help and it's a natural it's a. natural product from the from the earth. so yeah I can see that growing in the. next few years for sure when it when it. gets app has it been approved in the US. for like. yeah so it's in the. stuff um don't quote me on this but it's. in it's in the final stage of FDA.

approval psilocybin so it's very very. close And there's a company called. Compass Pathways which has just gone. public and is as of right now worth. about 2 billion which is really develop. leading the pack in developing. psilocybin but it's crazy that I've not. tried it but I've looked at all the. research and development videos and. studies and data and it like blow blew. my mind. Are you are you tempted to try it. yourself? Are you scared and nervous. about it? Cuz I know the numbers. I've been. through I've looked at every drug and. I've I've seen where mushrooms and. psilocybin um rank in terms of the harm.

they could possibly do to you and the. harm they can do to others when you're. on them. It's below alcohol. It's below. like every it's at the bottom. It's the. bottom thing on the list. Yeah. It's been shown to really um. really help with addiction and. depression and and trauma from that. So. yeah, I suppose I wonder what the. experience like for us who maybe we're. not depressed and we're not anxious. I. wonder what that experience would be. like. But but yeah, you know, I listen. to a lot of podcasts. you know, Tim. Ferris is big on it. Rogan, you know, and yeah, it's this kind of it feels. like this scary thing, but I suppose. because it's been going on for thousands.

of years, you know, with kind of tribes. and it's not some dirty chemical drug. that's been manufactured in the lab. I. think it. it's non- addictive. It opens up. So, what they say is it. opens up like neurological pathways that. maybe is all these memories locked. Did. you hear the Tim Ferris podcast? He said. like he done an Iawaska ceremony or. maybe it was psilocybin and he had this. vision of trauma that came through that. he completely blocked out. Really? Yeah. So he got he experienced um child. abuse like he literally didn't remember. it and he had this vision and all these. memories of being abused and it like.

completely like opened up his his mind. He's now obviously sharing about it but. that was like some so it's quite in a. way you don't know what you're. unlocking. You can unlock really beautiful memories. and amazing things or but it can also. show you like quite traumatic upsetting. things but either way like you can learn. from it I Do you know what I did this. morning is the the the founder one of. the founders of the company a Thai um. which is leading the charge in terms of. psychedelics. They're really developing. about 10 different compounds in the. space. I I said to him I need to get you. on this podcast. Would you come on? And. so he's he's um as far as I know he's,

you know, he's incredibly successful. biotech guy. He's been doing it for. decades and um he's going to come on. onto the podcast and really talk through. all of these things. So like I gain and. psilocybin and all of that. So that'll. be. fascinating. I'll be listening to that one. Yeah. But. listen, IA mushrooms, psilocybin, if you. want to do it, then I've been saying to. to my all these people in this room now, I've been saying, "Let's go and do a. retreat with like a shaman." And um. they've told me what the best way to do. it is like the best retreat, the best. shaman, the best place. I'd love to do.

something like that. Yeah, I would be up for it. I mean, it's. a it's a it's a real person it's like. personal growth. Like you read a lot of. books. I'm not well read. I wish I had. more patience and more time and well I. wish I had more um commitment and. discipline to reading but I do I do I do. I'm drawn to it and it always it almost. they say like it will call you like my. dad's done an Iaska ceremony in Wales. and he said it just calls you like the. plant mother nature like you'll have a. calling one day and it'll be like I'm. ready at the moment we're just sort of. experimenting with the idea of it. and your dad did the psilocybin trial. with Imperial so what was his feedback.

to you after he did it. yeah I mean it was um it sometimes takes. a little bit longer to integrate you. know you have the experience And you. know it was in a very controlled room. like it's in a proper like clinical. setting. So you're like in a hospital. room and they're holding your hand and. talking through it. And I'm not sure the. exact dosage but he got blasted with a. decent dose of psilocybin. Um and yeah. you know he saw some things and it. unlocked a little bit of you know trauma. and some visual stuff that he saw. But. again it's just about moving forward. It's about it's about taking what you. see and integrating into your life and. saying I've had these experiences but.

how can I be present today? How can I. enjoy my life today? And you know, with. depression, it's I don't think it's. going to be cured. I don't think you can. cure it like that because of the way the. brain works, but you're going to learn. to deal with it and and spot the signs. and kind of counteract it quicker. Um, but yeah, he he had a positive. experience for sure and he's he's really. proud that he took part cuz he he. genuinely wants to help people. He said. if if people can come off chemical. anti-depressants and be given a really. beautiful natural um you know natural. product that can actually help them feel.

happier and and especially for like. post-traumatic stress syn disorder like. people dealing with some really really. harsh stuff and they're getting blasted. with you know anti-depressants which are. very addictive and it's like morphine. isn't it? It's like it's not even it's. not even like good for you. It's they're. very addictive as well. I don't think. you're going to get the same thing. Yeah, the side effects are really. really, you know, crazy. Um, sometimes. I think they're opioids. I think is it. opioids? Yeah, anti-depress I think. opioid I think anti-depressants are like. opioids or amphetamines. It's one of. them. It's like it's basically the drug. that you know you do not want to be.

taking in a very small dose but over. time it can real generate real addiction. and you see it in America like the. prescription drug addiction over there. is is really destroying people's lives. over there. My next question, you would have heard. this on the podcast if you listened to. the Eddie Hearn one. Uh, it's kind of a. new question I'm asking and it's a. question I really really love because I. think it gives a unique sense of. perspective. Um, you're an incredibly. busy guy. You're running around at the. moment doing this, that, and the other, you know, all over the place. Um, if you found out, god forbid, touch. glass, um, that this week was your last.

week for whatever reason, god forbid, or. you walked out here and you got hit by a. a truck, what what would you regret. having not done or not doing more of? I. really wish I had like this long list of. bucket things that I wish I'd done. But. I'm I've always even when I was at. university, like I would go traveling in. my half term, my summer holidays. I. always I've always maximized life to the. the at that moment in time, you know. I've always I've never kind of I've. never regretted or like missed out on. things. I've always traveled with my.

friends. I've always, you know, done the. things I want. So, if I had a week left. on Earth, I wouldn't really regret. anything. I'd be proud. I'm proud of. what I've achieved in this short time. I'm 35. I feel like I've I've been good. I've done some good things. I'd probably. bring everyone together and like throw. my wedding party again cuz my wedding. day was wicked. Like I'd all you know. your best friends and all your mate your. mates and we had a fun fair and we had. all the food and we were dancing and I. think I'd try and recreate that if I. knew I had seven days. I'd get everyone. together and say look it's my last week. Come down. Let's have another blowout. and have a party. Um but I wouldn't.

regret Yeah. I just really wouldn't. I I. think it's a shame to live your life. like that. You know, regretting and. wishing your childhood was different. ing you know you you I've and I've got. friends that kind of live in that. mindset of always looking back and. almost thinking about a moment in time. if they just done it differently they. were like life would have been different. today but you can't think like that you. can't get stuck between the future and. the past can you cuz that's really. really depressing whereas if you. actually just think look I've done what. I've done even the bad things and the. times I wasn't nice or disrespectful. like I learned from it and today I'm a.

better person for it. A lot of people. when when you ask them that question, they reflect on like a lack of balance. in their life. They'll say, "Oh god, I. work too much. I didn't see the kids. enough." And and those kinds of things. That's typically what you hear. It's. like, "Oh god, do you know I really wish. I'd spent more time with this person or. or that person." I think if I was to. answer that question, I'd probably feel. I'd probably say that. I'd say, "Why. didn't I spend enough time with my. family?" I think the reason is because a. lot most traditional businesses like if. you're a graph like Eddie Hearn always. on the road always around the world you. know footballers again away every. weekend they're training they're you.

know traveling the world musicians away. from their family and it's hard for like. you know stabil stability and so they do. sacrifice a lot for that fame and. success whereas my fame and success has. come through an iPhone in my kitchen so. I've really even before lockdown I. filmed all my workouts at home so I have. a great balance where I can do what I'm. doing and be successful but also leave. my phone for 2 weeks and go away and not. not worry about it. Or I can, you know, put my phone down. Like I I I spend. quality time my kids every day. I'm I'm. adamant about that. So I do, you know, breakfast. I make them breakfast every.

day. I have 2 and 1 half hours. So. between like 5 and 7:30 where I don't. have my phone and I do dinner time, bath. time, but story time. Like I love it. It's like my routine. And I and I know. get once they're down, I can go back to. work or, you know, watch a film. But. it's having little moments like that. Just having that structure so that you. don't feel like you've missed out and. you ask them how their day has been. And. Indy's favorite thing is like she loves. cooking and she loves doing her. handwriting. So even just running in. there and doing 10 minutes of. handwriting with her. I mean she's 2. years old and she's doing the alphabet. She's she's got like these dots. You. follow the dots and just seeing her with.

a shaky hand to like now a month later. she's banging out the A to Z and it's. like immaculate. That's that's fun. It's. amazing. So I'm not missing out on these. moments. Although I'm really busy, I'm. also optimizing my time with them as. well if you know what I When you said. that India's really into cooking, I. thought, "Oh god, she's going to be the. next body coach." And then I thought, "Oh god, I wonder if Joe would want her. to be on social media.". Oh, I don't know. I had this dilemma. with Rosie, you know, when I was. bringing out my cookbook, my weaning 15. book. So, I got a book deal and I was. genuinely enjoying that journey. I was.

learning to wean indie for the first. time. I didn't know what to do. I was. working with a nutritionist. Um, and I. shared so much. You know, we got 50,000. pre-orders and I worked hard for them. pre-orders because I shared everything, you know. I shared the dinner. I was It. was camera at breakfast. cuz it was. camera at lunch. It was Indie, do you. like that, darling? Do another one of. them. Like, so I shared so much in order. to have that success. But now I've kind. of I've just gone a little I just don't. want the phone out during dinner time. So I'm producing less content. I'm not. producing as much recipe stuff because I. want to have that time just with us. And.

I used to just film every Gusto recipe. Every recipe was on Instagram. So yeah, I've had to sort of step back a little. bit. And there's no way you're going to. keep your kids on social media. It's. just whether they're 10 or 15, they're. going to eventually get it. Would you. like to though if you could? There was. two buttons in front of you. One of them. was she won't join social media until. she's 21 and the other one was she'll. join at 10. Oh, 100% no. If I have if I could have. my life without social media like I have. an unhealthy relationship with it. And I. you know I watched the social dilemma on. Netflix and I was like I cannot believe.

how addictive we are. How these devices. are so welld designed. I would I wish me. Rosie and and the kids weren't on social. media but I know I wouldn't have been. the body coach. PJ wouldn't have. happened. So, it's almost this like. trade-off. It's like a trade-off, isn't it? It's. like if you want to have this success. and have this amazing life and also. reach millions of people, the only way. you can do that is is social media. It's. not TV, it's not radio, it's social. media. So, it has its pros and cons, but. I I hope that I hope that we kind of we. can somehow learn to control this mental.

health epidemic that we've got going on. with social media and the narcissism of. Instagram. I just hope that we kind of. go, actually, you know what, that was. cool in 2010 and 2020, but maybe now. let's be more humble. Let's just be. kinder and let's like share useful. content. Do you know what I'm trying to. say? Yeah. Cuz you know in she's going to get. she's going to get her phone. She's. going to open it on that first day when. she's 10 years old and she's going to. see Kylie Jenner in a bikini on a yacht. in a Louis Vuitton bikini on a massive. yacht looking back at it with her ass.

looking perfect and perfect boobs and a. perfect face and perfect hair. and. India's going to stare down into that. phone and think, okay, yeah, that's my life. Yeah. And it is. and it's that comparative thing and it. it happens to me. I I follow a lot of. Instagram accounts and you know, my. explore page is basically like. motorbikes or it's you know, fitness. models and it it's like because I'm in. that in that in that kind of atmosphere. in that that um world and it does you. think oh these guys are in such good.

shape, you know, I'm looking a bit. skinny. I'm a little bit pit like. whoever you are, you still start to. compare yourself. It affects your. confidence whether you know it. subconsciously or not. And you know, I. wish I was more tanned. I wish I was on. holiday. I wish I had a bit more muscle. this. I wish I wasn't so skinny or I. wish I didn't have that little bit of. body fat on my tummy this year because. you you're just bombarded with these. visual representation. So yeah, I think. that in that effect it almost like you. can't really stop that if you if you're. looking at it all the time. You can't. it's almost like you have to just. unfollow some of those account. You. said, didn't you said like unfollow the. accounts that don't serve you.

And I've started doing that. If I get to. one, I go why did I follow that? Bang. Unfollow. Do you know what it is as. well? So I was when I wrote my I started. writing my well I finished my book now. but when I started writing the book um. people quite crazy at the title's happy. sexy millionaire and in this one chapter. I really focus in on comparison and this. is an bit of an exclusive and I go. through all of the studies on why we. compare ourselves to other people and. why we compare our you know our car to. someone else's car and the conclusion I. came to is we're not actually going to. ever be able to stop comparing because.

our brains are wired that way for. survival. They like that's how our brain. works. It's very very lazy. If you show. someone three TVs in a shop, an. expensive one, a middle one, and a a a. cheap one. Statistically, people will. pick the middle one. because they think that one's going to. break and it's [ __ ] the cheap one, and. they think the expensive one is maybe. too flashy. So, if you show them three. steaks on a menu, statistically people. will pick the one below the most. expensive one. Yeah. You know, even I actually when you. come to say that I sort of feel the same. like I'll be like I don't know I don't.

need that, you know, the waggy one. because I' I'm happy with a 20 one in. the middle or whatever. Yeah, you're. right. It extends across everything. If I said. to you, Joe, would you rather um drive. 10 minutes to save £10 on a 200 jacket. or drive 10 minutes to save £10 on a 20. pound jacket? People go, "Well, I I'll. drive I'll save the£10 on the 10 on the. 10 pound jacket." And they go, "Why? It's 10 minutes. going to cost you to. drive and you're going to save £10. But. the brain is just assume it's like very. the conclusion is.

yeah what's the sum what's the. conclusion I'm interested that because. I'd like to know what you're sharing. about that. the conclusion is that our brains are so. so lazy they make such lazy snap. decisions and conclusions because those. snap decisions helped us to survive when. we're when we were 10,000 years a lion's. running towards you can't [ __ ] like. right okay is it you've got to just so. our brain does it at super speed and and. in the context of social media it's like. I loved my Nokia. Yeah, until. until the new one came out, the iPhone comes out, right? I was the.

the proudest kid in school showing. everyone like, "Oh, look, snake. I can. do snake on here.". But then but then the minute that same. thing, which hasn't changed in value, exists in a world of iPhones, which is. what social media is. It's like me. looking at Kylie Jenner immediately, even though I haven't changed in value, I am less than. Our brain tells you. No, I agree. I agree with that. And I I. feel that myself sometimes when I when I. watch that show, the Netflix documentary. um the social dilemma, it did say all of. the guys that created the products, that. created the like buttons, all those. people said, "My kids aren't on social.

media." And that's the alarm bell. It's. like saying, you know, it's like um that. joke of, you know, I wouldn't trust an. eye surgeon who's wearing glasses. Like. I'm getting my eyes laid on Saturday, by. the way. Really? But like they say, you. know, don't you know, if that person. that created it and that does it every. day is saying to you like get your kids. off social it's not good for their. mental health. And that that is what it. is. It's not about it. I don't think it. kills ambition. I think it just really. affects people's mental health. and their self-esteem. Their self-esteem. Yeah. And sometimes. that's irre irreversible. And you could. be like a young teenager that has an.

eating disorder, you know, all through. your life or is um. is is binging or undereating or, you. know, not respecting your body and that. can really stem from like how you feel. about yourself, right? So I I try and. use my social media to obviously promote. healthy food and fitness. That's a. positive part of social media and and I. think your content is positive. I think. some of the quotes that you share like I. you know like the 10 things and all. these little sometimes I really want to. go bang wow like it's just a nice little. light bulb moment. So you're using it. for positive and we have to just always.

focus on that. Focus on the people that. are bringing the good stuff out of it. I've I think you've probably heard me. say before that my the way I use my. Instagram I genuinely believe has like. saved my life a little bit because I. would have before if you scroll down my. Instagram right now you'll see what I. was like oh picture of a Lamborghini, picture of a Louis Vuitton bag and then. at some point when I became a CEO of a. company and I felt a sense of. responsibility not to be that guy. I. thought okay so how can I use this? I'll. post quotes and because I've done that. for the last like I don't know two three. years it's meant that when I do have.

it it means that I don't buy stuff to. post it and I if I'm in a helicopter. going over Sri Lanka sat next to my. girlfriend which I was no one will know. because I actually don't have a place to. put it so I'm now making decision. unless you're on your close friends list. that's yeah I'm so glad I'm on that. that's why I get so nice yeah that's. only there's only 100 people on there. but like I I don't have a place to put. it and so when I'm making the decision. It's not based on social media cuz I. know I'm not going to be able to tell. really anybody other than like my a. couple of my close friends. My question. though, which is kind of attached to.

that is about money. Something that a. lot of people probably won't talk to you. about. Now listen, I. it's always uncomfortable. It's just awkward even when articles. come out like Joe buys this much, you. know, this million pound house. It's. like why is that important? But I just. know that people are obsessed, aren't. they? So ask what you want to ask and. I'll be honest. Yeah. So an unavoidable consequence of. success. Like the thing is, the reason. why I'm actually not uncomfortable about. asking you this question is because if. there's anyone on planet Earth on off. camera that I know has the most genuine. sincere intentions, it is you. Probably.

of all the people I've met, I'm like, I. can't think of a guest I've met who is. more sincere about their intentions. more. Thanks, Steven. Your maximum. sincerity, right? So, some people are as. well, but your maximum. So, um I've got. no problem asking you this question, which is an unavoidable consequence of. your success over the last year. previously is money, right? It's what. allows you to have a camera to do PE. with Joe, right? Yeah, of course. Yeah, definitely. So, this year, I mean, you've made a lot. of money, right? Like every year. Um, what role does money play in your life? Just be honest with me.

It's a it's that it's that thing of, you. know, it talk we talk about, you know, freedom of time and like, you know, owning Yeah. I've always been about time. and being with friends and family. So, for me, it's like it's it's removed a. lot of stress cuz when I was a kid, I. remember money was a stressor. Like we, you know, we had um we we never had food. in the house. So my mom would have to go. to my ns and we'd have to get like. borrow bought pints of milk and like. running in next door. You know, when. you're on a council estate, it was quite. common. You'd go and ask for a pint of. milk or a couple of I remember asking. for like a bag of sugar for our cereal.

and stuff. So I I didn't have any money. growing up and you know I was on school. dinners, you know, I was my mom was on. benefits. So it was it was all like. Iceland two for one, buy them free. It. was crap food, you know, and that. affects that affects things as well, you. know, the food you're eating. But I I. suppose for me when I started to make. money, it was a gradual thing. I didn't. win the lottery and wake up a million. pounds, you know, I I released my online. plan and one person signed up and then. it was 10 and it grew and it was gradual. and so it was a nice way of be and like. with my followers, it was a nice gradual.

thing. I didn't just jump off of um Love. Island with 2 million followers and have. money thrown at me and I think that does. affect your ego differently and I think. anyone that's young that gets thrown. into the media with money and fame, it. would affect you in a certain way. Um, so it definitely allowed me to have more. freedom and to take care of my family. I. think I'm not someone who has been. successful and left people behind. That. would make me seriously unhappy. I've. helped my brother out. I've helped my. dad, you know, I got my mom a house. We've done amazing holidays together. like with all the boys, you know, they. know I'm there if they need me. And and.

that's that's a nice feeling. But yeah, the question is around motivation, around money as well. I feel like as. time's gone on, I become less motivated. by it. And I remember that story you. said about you're up here and you could. have run downstairs and sent email and. got 20 grand. I have days that too where. I think I could go and do another gusto. post and 10,000 people might sign up or. I could go and film another workout and. it could get 2 million views. And I have. and and when I feel like that I have to. remind myself of like why I do what I do. and and that mission thing about there's. someone at the end of that YouTube video.

just waiting for a new workout and they. live in scun for when they've got no. money in their proper skin and they're. waiting for the workout and I remind. myself of that. So yeah, money money. allows it just allows freedom. It's less. stress. And money was always something. we always argue about. I think maybe my. marriage, I'll be honest, is easier. because we don't argue about money. And. maybe your mom and dad used to argue. about money, like school uniform, the. new trainers you wanted, the school. trip, you go, like I remember like going. on a school trip was really hard for my. mom and dad. We couldn't afford to do. the school trip sometimes. And you know, they would always work really hard and.

it would, you know, sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't. So, I think having a. bit more money in the bank means there's. less pressure on you as a person and. therefore you can sort of you can go. through life a bit easier. But. I had to overcome, as we talked about. kind of earlier, I had to overcome that. that feeling though, like that, a [ __ ]. if more money isn't going to have an. impact, then what the what the hell are. we doing, Steve? Like, what are we doing. here? Cuz, you know, 16-year-old Steve. told me it was money was the whole game. You get more of it, you get more and. more happy. It's just like that. Your. happiness goes up with your bank. balance. Does your ego inflate? cuz I I can I can.

imagine when you said about, you know, I. used to go to like China, white and punk. and like, you know, studio bon and I. never had money. I was skint. I was a. university kid. I had like 20 quid in my. pocket. I'd be in there on a freebie. But I imagine if you had money at that. time, you'd be the one with the bottles. spraying it about and all the lights and. all the girls come with a big flares. Is. that what you were like? Did it inflate. your ego? You you spend more money? You know what? I I And I've got to be as. self-aware as I possibly can be here. I. um I don't think it's ever had an impact. on my perception of myself. However, I. did like I've never I genuinely feel the.

same opinion of myself as I always have. since I was three. Like I've it's never. changed. But I bet people around you changing. like cuz they knew Steve had the dough. and you were there and all the girls. would come over. I was rolling into clubs and spending. I. I remember this one club in Manchester. called Neighborhood. They had this. little star next to my name cuz I was. like the number one spender and I'd walk. in there and get five bottles of Don. Preon. I didn't think I was anything. else but I was still doing it. Like I. you that's a really important point to. make. Like you you hear about these rich. [ __ ] and these like young kids that. like they get all this money then they.

start treating people like [ __ ] and they. change. All of my friends say to me you. haven't changed at all. You just you just bought you just I. suppose you were like the facilitator. You just you were the fun you brought. people together and you and you could. have the fun. And I think you know maybe. if I had a bit money at that time maybe. I would have done those things cuz I do. I mean my thing now is going to nice. restaurants. I love going to like Zuma. or No and having a meal with my friends. I I didn't have that kind of flashy kind. of like nightclub vibe, but you know, at. the time, the thing is at that time that. was what you wanted to do at that time. You don't do it now. And I think if you. had fun, like it's good. It's all good.

But yeah, money. I got out my system. Yeah. Get out your system. And it's weird because I' I'd looked at. those people in the clubs and I'd looked. at rich people and thought, "Oh god, like yeah, when I when I become one of. them, then I'll be super happy." So then. you go and do it. I went and got this. massive [ __ ] mansion in the. countryside and I'm sat there like, "Nope.". Yeah. spray the bottles for a year and. you're getting all the bottles for a. year and you're like, "Okay, nope.". So, when you um when you like when you. you exited, you know, or even before. that, you you've been financially secure. for a long time. Has your motivation.

dropped or increased? Because I at the. moment, I'm feeling quite demotivated, but I'm more excited by the legacy and. the potential of like building the body. coach to a point that in 20 years time, I can look back when I'm a bit older and. go, I started that, I created that. company, you know, that's still going. Did you find yourself lost motivation. cuz you were like, you know what, I can. chill now. I ain't got I ain't got the. the hustle in me anymore, mate. It's a really good question and. again, I've been writing a lot about. motivation lately, so I think I've got a. pretty good answer to this. Um, and you. know, one of the the best sort of. easiest answer to this question is just.

referring to my gym routine. I think you. might have heard on the podcast, I said. in one of the episodes that every. February and March, I'm the most. motivated person on planet Earth to work. out. And I say to myself, I'm going to. get I'm have a great body for summer. And then summer comes, I drop the photo. on social media, summer ends, and I. literally can't bring myself to the gym. because my motivation, my why was. anchored to a timeline, which is summer. and looking good. And so the minute I. post, and everyone likes it, it was like I genuinely couldn't get.

myself to the gym and I was going like. two times a day before. And this relates. to our motiv our other motivations in. other parts of our life. Like when you. lose when you lose the anchor with your. why, which is what you described after. PE with Joe. Yeah. You've got to [ __ ] find it again. It's like the gold medalist. You've got. to go and find it again and you've got. to reanchor yourself to something that. hopefully doesn't have a short-term. timeline against it. Gary Vaynerchuk. says the same thing. He says, "The worst. day of my life will be when I buy the. Jets." It's been his. Yeah, that's his thing, isn't it? It's forever. It's his moonshot. And you you I hadn't. hear that before that that term moonshot. is nice because it's like Joe,

don't just do something you know you can. do in 6 months. Do something you think. will take you 20 years. This is what the conversation we had, right? That's what you said. And I went home. and I was thinking the same. I said, Nikki, I said, I love that. I love the idea of a. moonshot. What's our moonshot? And he's. like, "Well, our moonshot is that we. build the body coach and we have an exit. so that someone comes along and buys it. and it continues to flourish for years. to come." Because otherwise, I was the. it's like Mr. Motivator. Smashed it in. the 80s or 90s, whatever it was. And I. would have just been the body coach, the. Mr. Mo of this time unless I build it to.

sell and I build it to sustain itself. and grow and continue to help people. And that's really where my head's now. I. think I've had a shift in my mentality. towards that. But I did lose motivation at several. parts of my life. And it was always as I. described with the 20k and email. downstairs. It was when I was doing. things without that real intrinsic deep. s why. So when before social chain. started I had no motivation to do any. marketing for anybody or to send emails. to anybody. And then social chain starts. and I'm going to the [ __ ] Ukraine at. 3:00 a.m. in the morning. I spent oh. what was it? I spent 11 of the 12 months.

last year in hotel rooms happy driving. for this mission of building this. company with super key thing with people. I loved. Yeah. Right. because it didn't have to be. social media. We had a purpose. We had a. worthwhile goal. I was working with. people I loved towards that worthwhile. goal. And I felt competent in doing so. And if you have those three things like. competence, a worthwhile goal, and. you're working with people you love. And. and lastly, I'd say a sense of control. like autonomy cuz a lot of people don't. we have that in our lives. A lot of. people working in factories and other. industries don't have that sense feeling.

of autonomy over their time. And. have you got the hustle now? Could you. like go back and do the 11 months on the. roads too? cuz I remember I remember you. used to always be in an airport always. rolling that little wiggly thing around. I thought it must be like no matter how. much money you're no matter how much. money and how much you're building there. must be an element of loneliness and. like exhaustion where you think I just. need to be like settled in one place and. now you're in London. Do you think. you're sticking about or are you going. to hit the road again? Um great question and it's something. I've reflected on. If you told me now to. fly to the Ukraine and do a talk, I'd be. like [ __ ] off. I've said this to my.

assistant the other day. I said I can't. understand where it where the motivation. came from and it's because I've lost it. I've lost the anchor. I've quit social. tone. So when when I even with this. mindset, I think go to the [ __ ]. Ukraine and do a talk at 9:00 a.m. to a. bunch of people for an hour. [ __ ] off. Yeah. You lost it. I've lost it cuz cuz I've quit. So my. anchor's gone and I can't even get. myself back into the mindset. However, I. will get my anchor back at some point. Yeah. And I'll find something else that And. I'm not trying to find it at the moment. Yeah. Just it's nice to slow things.

down. I think the lockdown's helped us. just think we don't need to be on this. hamster all the time. Like it's all. right. A few months of the year like you. said, you know, nothing in nature blooms. all year round. Like you can have a. couple of quiet months cuz you know, you. know, your event didn't happen. I really. wanted to be at that event in. Manchester, but I'm hoping that happens. I I need to come. You know, there's. going to be different momentuge. Yeah, I. know. I mean, like, mate, you showed me. the music. I got me and Nikki got mad. like goosebumps just listening to the. music you're going to play. Um, but. yeah, you've got loads of head. think. it's important to just have these months. where you go, I'm not everywhere at the. moment, but I know in six months I've.

got this great project and there's your. moment to bloom. And that's kind of. where my head's at now. Rather than. like, come on, what should we do now? Let's do another this. Let's let's let's. do more of this. I'm like, it's okay to. be not busy and not be successful for a. few months. and to create a void in your life. This. is what my mentor said to me. He's one. of I think he was one of the the first. investor ever in Spotify. He said, Steve, I met him after I resigned and he. said, "Steve, listen, it's so tempting. to just sort of grab the bull again and. just go and run and run and run and. run." He said, "But the reason you were. successful before is because you were. really hungry." Yeah. So he said, "Create a void in your life.

Resist. the temptations just to run back into. something and just let it be.". A concept that's probably not easy for. me or you to understand. Like just the. I'm getting it now, though. I'm getting. it now because I, like I said, I've. always had like two books a year. I've. had a DVD out. I've had merchandise, pots and pans, you know, protein stuff. I've always had something. But actually. now I know I need to just chill out and. take some time off because I can't I. don't want to be hammer I don't want to. be selling stuff to people all the time. I want to just be get back to my free. content what I'm good at what I start. you know the organic stuff that I.

genuinely started doing in the beginning. because that's when I'm happiest when. I'm getting millions of views on my. YouTube channel. I love that. I love. that people are actually like doing. those workouts. It's 15 minutes of my. time but it's helping someone really. transform their day. And so I'll. continue to um you know push that. mission which is to get people moving. And if it's with even it's one person a. day like it's enough sometimes. I just reflected then when you said that. I think of one of the conversations we. had in that restaurant which was you. were saying you know I've done the pee. with Joe and what's next and I saying I. was I remember saying to you like Joe. this is a false peak cuz like I did I.

say this. and I said I don't think I'm going to. achieve anything in my life that's going. to have more impact because there may. never be another lockdown and there may. never be like 80 million people in their. living room doing my workouts again. But. you were like Joe don't be silly like. there's something else. There's. something there has to be. Like if you. don't you're going to lose it. you can. lose motivation. So yeah, you said the. thing about the moonshot like imagine. eradicating, you know, whatever it may. be, like going for that real like steel. Steve Steve Jobs or Bill Gates like. vision of like changing the world. It's exciting. It might never happen, but at least have a crack.

But you have a you this is why I refer. to it as a false peak because. mountaineers when they're climbing, they. look up the mountain and they see these. peaks and it because of the perspective. of when you're climbing a mountain, it. looks like the top and so they climb and. they stop and they go, "Oh, [ __ ] That. was but it's a false peak." And I think. for you this is going to be a false pig. because now you have more power than. you've ever had. So you have this I in. my view again not telling how you live. your life. You have a responsibility to. you're a [ __ ] MBE. You're you know. everyone knows your name now and you've. got a power to do things on a global.

level that even I'm not sure yet you. realize you're capable of doing. And I. think when you realize what you're. capable of then um you're going to find. a why because listen you you can't waste. the power you've got. You just simply. can't. And there's a lot of pain out. there. There's a lot of people getting. fat. There's a lot of people not eating. right. And they need someone that has. your power. It's like it's like, you. know, life has given you this this. responsibility and gone, Joe, listen, we. need you. And I think that's I mean, that's enough to get out of bed for. every day. That is the goal, mate. And it's it's so. lovely to hear you say that. And I do. believe that we have a purpose and we.

have we have an energy inside us. And I. I bumped into this guy once on the. street in London and he was really I. think he was a shaman of some sort. And. he he he basically put his hand on my. shoulder. He he does my workouts and. he's like, "There's something about you. like you've got an energy. There's. something pushing you forward, isn't. there? Like it's more than views and. fame and numbers. Like there's something. inside said, "Yeah, like there is it's. this energy that is constantly like just. go and film the workout. I know you're. tired, but do it." And it's that it's. that thing of giving. I I'm my happiest. when I'm giving and sharing. And the. minute I stop that, even if I sell the.

body coach, you know, I know that that. moment will come where I feel like, you. know, I still need to be doing what I'm. good at and still need to be. reconnecting and um that is my energy. That's that. And I didn't have that. I. was really lost and confused until 25. I. came back from this trip to America. I. started to become a personal trainer and. it was like I just knew in that moment. this is what I was going to do and I've. just put all my energy and love into it. since. So yeah, let's let's see what we. can do in 2021. Thank you so much for your time, Joe. It's been an absolute pleasure and I'm. super excited to to bring you back on. for a third time once you've conquered.

the world. And we'll be like, we were sat here and. you said this and then. I know it's been a pleasure, mate, and I. really do enjoy your podcast. I take. little nuggets from it. I think you're. always sharing a positive message. So, keep doing it. Um, it's good to see that. you're growing and building and I, um, I. hope this episode does really well for. you. Thank you, mate. Appreciate you. Always. nice one. Good luck, mate. Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom. and learnings. I'm continue to be. inspired by you. I can't wait to see. what you achieve in the next few years. Now, go and get your moonshot.

Go and build a rocket. [Music].