W. Kamau Bell Has Beef With Sona | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

hi my name is Deb Kamal Bell and I feel. insistent about being Conan O'Brien's. friend that's the way that's the way. yeah I think uh was last time I think. you were consciously optimistic. insistent I like that you're demanding. it we've we've evolved you k you kicked. the door down I kicked the door I'm not. leaving without being your friend yeah. I'll take all these people with me no I. have sent you emails and you responded. to those emails which is like ahead of a. lot of people so I feel like that's no. I'm have a. very oh so now I'm hearing you just.

every email I just respond to everything. Nigerian prin oh my I'm so tight I am so. tight with the Nigerian prince fish I. didn't just give money I then visited. the Nigerian prince and we hang a lot. he's a very nice person it's terrible. what happened subject line is I want to. catfish you you're like sure let's talk. about this how do we get this catfish. going it was uh I remember we had one we. were going back and forth on something. and then you for some reason sent me a. picture of your apartment and I was like. you need to clean oh yeah remember and.

then I felt like I had invaded your. space yeah but it was very messy I'm. just saying you got get that. together first of all I live in a house. I don't know why I got put in an. apartment like like I'm a grown man with. children all I could see was two all I. could see was a uh one room so well I. didn't go here let me show you every. room in my house I didn't well that's. what I expected to be a completion let. me show you the outside every room my. kids' rooms all three of them here's my. wife's room here's a closet here's some. clothes I'm yeah no I didn't ient I I.

forget what the reason was but I'm sure. it was a very good reason at the time. and I feel weird that you brought it up. I'm glad I brought it up I just uh you. know demonstrated to everyone uh two. things that uh were capable of being. very close and um you could be neater. those are the two things I want to come. out of his podcast those two things are. true those two things are true that is. true since then we moved into a smaller. house and now my area is the room is the. area of the house next to my side of the. bed that's the only area I get to deal. with what I want so so makes it easier.

to clean up now um do you have any. weapons in the house that's what I want. to know uh no we don't have any weapons. in the house I I don't yeah I have a. 5-year-old who's very feral okay I want. what are you going to do a home invasion. why are you ask I'm bringing this up for. a reason I'm bringing this up for a. reason I want to get I want to get your. take on this and tell me if I'm crazy or. not uh this is this is a friends with uh. comedian actor Joel mcale Joel MC's. running stick with me is he always gives. me weapons.

not guns or anything like that but kind. of interesting steampunky weapons that. you can buy on the dark one of those. knives that does this you get one of. those all kinds of crazy things and I. always ended up like hiding them and. putting them on a high shelf and then uh. I think it was my birthday last year he. gave me a. crossbow and um a real crossbow so now. I'm announcing this to the world but. when am I going to use a crossbow and. it's apparently like a very nice. crossbow and it's a box it's completely. unassembled in the box so I just put the. Box way on this top shelf way way and.

when I say top shelf I'm 6'4 how tall. are you 64 okay I have to stand on a box. to reach the top of this shelf and slide. this box up there so it's way way way up. on top of this very very high shelf in. our garage and it's facing the other way. so you can't even see what it is and. it's this box and inside it has a. disassembled crossbow and the other day. my wife is saying um I think it's just. crazy you have that thing in the garage. and I said what and she said I mean. anyone breaks into our garage and. there's a weapon right there and I said.

what and then she said you know you. could someone could come in and they. could use that crossbow against us and I. said hold on a second you're saying. someone could come into our garage reach. see that box investigate it spend 40. minutes assembling a 14th Century weapon. and then come up into our bedroom and I. said and and Menace us that's what I. used I said Menace us with a crossbow. and they've got one shot and then I. charge.

uh I was like that part what you don't. strike me as a charger I'm not a charger. you strike me as a Target you strike me. as old school cower yeah. yes like an old school not even new. school cow I'm sorry I misspoke my wife. would charge I would flee fair enough. okay flee screaming the money's in. there I can always remarry I would. scream as I the insurance is in her. name she has more shoes than you. think as I flee into the underbrush.

anyway I just thought no that's not. something I I I that's not a yes if I. had a handgun lying around but I don't. think that's a legitimate thing to be. worried about I want you to weigh in I. just like the fact that the person. breaks into the house first of all you. have no security apparently which is. interesting breaks the house i' like to. get that out there too I do not security. just there's no alarm I don't believe in. alarms and locks They Don't Really Work. they so they get to this High shelf so. they're like so let's say it's like uh. Victor when Bama breaks into your house.

so he just reaches up and grabs it cuz. he's 74 it would have to be someone uh. yeah who can see it he just looks and. goes oh crossbow right there pulls it. opens it up it's a crossbow probably not. expecting a crossbow then they pull up a. YouTube video on their. phone how to assemble this crossbow yeah. and you hear all the like ah and in in. that time you and your wife are just. deep ambient sleep like no deep deep. sleep deep sleep and then comes into the. bedroom and the first thing I would do. is I'd be looking at the crossbow and.

the person wielding it and probably. noticing that they've missed a step in. the assembly and I'd be saying one of. those ones you have to step on and pull. up or oh yeah I think it's a very. complicated there's like a ratchet oh my. God yeah I mean crossbows were always. complicated they were not that's why we. don't still have them around in general. they very quickly were like this isn't. this isn't worth it there was a rash of. driveby crossbow muss also like didn't. last very long you better stand there. for 20 minutes while I get this Reloaded.

yeah that's not these are not the. weapons I'm empty this powder into this. yeah but I can guarantee my wife would. not let me have any style of crossbow. assembled or unassembled in the house. there's well so so you're sort of saying. my wife is you get it you get it maybe I. was wrong I was I was uh having fun with. the whole thing as I do Mocking her. first mistake as a husband y um robbing. her of uh her agency and um and I was. wrong I admit now that I was wrong okay. good but we also have a fully. functioning World War II landmine in the.

it's armed and I just thought someone. would go to that first of course it's. armed dummy I'm not going to buy a dud. online that thing cost me $600 now that. I'm with because that's fully armed it's. ready to go it's ready to go I'm always. amazed at you know people that and I I. think it's a big thing here in La is. people that have a lot of weapons in the. house and I always just think that's. that just doesn't go well that never is. it doesn't seem like a good idea people. forget that California is basically like.

Texas with gay people you know what I. mean like it's not it's not really this. sort of like bright blue whatever most. of the state is Texas so there's a lot. of guns here right there's a lot of guns. we just sort of have different laws but. there doesn't mean we don't have the. number of gun yeah right right we're. just I mean uh but I I would Joel would. give me he gave me a um he gave me I. think you were you there Adam he gave me. a mace like a like a but it's but like. like a modern interpretation of a of a.

knight's mace so it's not the big spiky. ball but it was this sort of Steampunk. mace that someone's making in their in. their basement and selling them online. like the kind of Mace somebody would. pitch on Shark Tank exactly and I have. updated the mace right and two of the. Sharks would be interested yeah others. you know Mr Wonderful's definitely Mr. Wonderful would be like I'm in but we're. doing it my way you licensed the mace. Mark Cuban the Dallas Mavericks we don't.

have a mace in our team store I have to. say Mark cubin is always always the one. saying for that reason I'm out he always. says it almost immediately almost immedi. he rarely gets involved and I'd like. this to be a deep dive on Shark Tank I. don't any tight I don't watch Shark Tank. I did have a period of time where I was. like that was the one show I watched so. I there's I could have done it I could. do a deep dive on show that was the only. show I watched on TV should I quickly. explain um because maybe it hasn't come. up yet in the podcast that Sona showed.

up today she has lost her voice she was. at an all night Rave I went to her Rave. and um this is her real voice right now. did you and I just wanted I red in in in. case people don't know like they're. listening to this interview with this. very funny guest I wore a candy. necklace and I'm just I'm was and at one. point you were saying like I'm not sure. I should come in and I was praying that. you would come in because it sounds like. you're at the bottom of a very deep hole. I know it's awful I didn't want I felt.

bad coming in cuz it is distracting I'm. a very loud person no I know I know I. know and and I was also I'm also mad at. you a little bit too so oh we have beef. we be we have beef we have beef we have. beef and invite you to the Rave no that. yeah that that that's the second beef we. have two beef we have double beef double. beef two patties two patties of beef God. uh our books came out on the same day oh. oh that's right I remember that but you. know what I remember that because I saw. your name on the New York Times.

bestseller list too right next to mine. yeah except your stayed there longer. yeah that's why the beef is not as hot. as it would have been yeah but I did. notice I was like oh well excuse me. competing on this weird obscure list. that doesn't make any. sense random assortment of lists written. by people who might be celebrities Matt. uh there are four people at this table. two of them are talking about the day. that they were on the New York Times. best seller list and you and I don't. know what's happening no but we don't. experience that no we don't but we know. Our World War II mines you know okay.

yeah the same it was a contact mine same. okay yeah so was that a New York Times. bestseller rave last night then I will. be mad yeah it was oh come on all their. favorite members on the list were. invited the guy who uh who wrote the. subtle art of not giving a he was. yeah tearing it up was it the at he. didn't give a I just love listening. to her like this is there any way and. this I don't want this to sound in any. way insensitive but can we do something. to you surgically so you always sound.

like this this is fantastic this so no. no I I mean they could I mean don't you. yes they could you shouldn't but yes you. could that is a thing that could well. thank you. Doctor you could it's like Jurassic Park. you can do it should you do it is the. second question exactly it's the first. time I've seen you kind of vulnerable. it's nice yeah it's nice I hate it so. much it's like a pirate who's now in a. tiny little canoe yes yes you know. you're used to the pirate being like a. and they've got lots of men with.

cutlasses and you're scared and now. you've got this this little canoe and a. little peashooter I'm sorry that's what. you are now my God she's screaming right. now that no one's afraid of you. screaming it was like General Patton. took a hit off a helium balloon. something you. know the trick is not to die for your. countryway it's to get the other son of. a to die for his country that's. what else is going on with you. yes.