Tiffany Haddish Explains Her Intimate Connection To Nicolas Cage | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend
I've always been a little obsessed with. the movie face off and recently I. watched it again oh wow I watched it. again and we showed it to my son and he. was like oh my God this is face off. Nicholas Cage John Travolta you have in. your book this insane story re and you. have a very intimate connection to the. movie face off yes yes my first. orgasm because of the movie or just. circum because of it's circumstantial. you know how like sometimes you're.
hooking up with somebody and that's in. the back like a movie's in the. background Face Off is always on it's. not wait were you so it was on TV no it. was in a movie theater oh for Christ. sake it was in a movie theater you broke. Conan you're in the theater I'm in the. theater and um the you know it was. barely anybody there it was the last. show of the night and it was like nobody. in there and me and I was on a date me. and this guy we at the back of the. theater and you know we're making out. and stuff and then he starts you know. filling around little fiddly diddly D.
you know little fiddly fiddly diddly D. little fiddly diddly D fiddly diddly D. if you kids out there are listening. that's a little nursery rhyme for you. and now I should like to perform ply. diddly D on you so okay and then and um. you know I'm enjoying it eyes closed and. then I'm feeling this like crazy. sensation through my body and I open my. eyes and it's like Nicholas Cage eyes is. looking into my eyes yes like this like. uh and I'm. like and whoa so you have your first.
orgasm and you're looking at a giant. Nicholas Cage face that's complicated. yes and eyeballs the most beautiful eyes. ever seen but it's actually John. travolto who you're looking at that's. the weird thing right okay don't take us. down no no not in that part of the movie. Jesus Christ you're just going by the. The Legend of the film which I think is. important yeah sure that's what we're. all focusing on right now okay maybe. it's John Travolta's face it's Nicholas. Cage whatever it was it was his.
definitely his eyeball got to get us out. of this side alley and back on the. highway cut to many years later okay. many many years later I'm shooting a. movie with Nicholas Cage oh my God and. uh and it's it's during pandemic and so. he's wearing his mask and all I'm seeing. is those eyes okay and I know my lines I. know my stuff but I am so like my brain. is going back to that moment my like I'm. remembering all of that moment and I. need to be focused on right now and it. was I was having the hardest time.
focusing on right now because my like. it's the like oh man this is those are. the eyes those are the eyes we saw those. are the and it's like stop it buddy stop. it mind like focus on this we they're. paying us millions of dollars to be here. right now and I'm like having the. hardest time and then I just had to tell. him and I F like you told him I was like. this is probably the most inappropriate. thing like it was no way for me to like. f like I couldn't function I couldn't. communicate I couldn't do my job and I. was just like yo I got to tell you. something it's very inappropriate I.
probably shouldn't tell you at all but. I'm not going to be able to do my job if. I don't tell you and and you might be. offended by it I don't know but I I. gotta tell you and so he was like all. right what's going. on oh. yeah on come on and I tell him the story. and he burst out laughing and he's like. you know what's crazy is my first wife. she saw me in the movie and she said. that's going to be my husband one day we.
ended up getting married I said well. I'mma tell you right now ain't no. fiddling no beans over here a no F over. here okay that's not g to be happening. over here but I just needed to tell you. that so that I could do my freaking job. and then once I was able to like get. that off my chest it was like okay now. we can get to her and we became friends. like we became friends and it's so funny. because all the other cast MERS like. how' you get him to he talks to you all. the time he's so cool with you he. doesn't talk to us and like he would. give me money advice and tell me about. like this is the ups and downs of. business and this that and all these.
different things I met his fiance at the. time we talked on the phone I speak. Japanese so I was able to talk to her a. little bit and so like we became like. really cool and everybody's like how'. you do it what did you say to him I was. like I just told him a story about my. experience and we've been cool ever. since and like he's mean I'm like he is. not mean he is a nice person he is a. cool person they're like well that's not. what we're experiencing I'm like well. you don't have no good stories to. tell I'm making a mental note when I see. Nicholas Cage and I will I'm telling him. I had my first orgasm.
everyone and then he then he he and I. will be best friends he'll give me all. this incredible advice you are so Frank. about uh sex and its role in your life. and it amazes me that when you were. growing up your mom did a lot to prevent. it to prevent well to actively. discourage you from having anything to. do with the opposite sex and she told. you some intensely crazy stuff yeah yeah. very crazy she told me.
that like okay so we was watching this. soap opera right and on the soap opera. the girls in the bed with the man and. stuff and I'm like what are they doing I. what are they doing she said oh that's. what you do to make a baby I said oh I'm. going to do that she's like no you're. not not till you're 21 I'm like what why. and she said well you know you have to. get your vaccine first first you got to. get vaccinated I was like what do you. mean she said you got to get the shot I. was like what shot she said look men. boys have this. stuff she said they got enzymes in they. mouth right and if you kiss a boy that.
the enzymes in their mouth if you don't. have your vaccine it's going to eat your. face up right and you gonna die within. 24 hours right and they got this stuff. that shoots out they pee PE that look. like Snot and if that gets inside your. baby carriage then it's going to like. eat your inside it's goingon to kill. your baby carriage your legs goingon to. fall off all this bad stuff you're gonna. die in three days and so um it's like. the ring you know would be a great scary. movie great scary.
and so I went to school and my friend. Amber was kissing his boy and I was. crying I was like oh my God you got die. you got. die you oh my God you GNA die and she's. like Amber's like what is wrong with you. you know like and I'm giving you the. abbreviated version in the book it's. much more you know detailed but I get. home and I'm crying and my mom's like. what you crying about and I'm like Amber. was kissing this boy is she going to die. soad she going to die she was like she. is not going to die see her parents knew. she was going to be a ho so they got the.
shot for her. early she got the shot early she got. vaccinated early cuz they knew she was. going to be a hoe so for. years are you a hoe then if so we have a. medication for you so for years I was. under the impression that all these like. I would see these girls kissing boys at. school and stuff and I'm like she a ho. she a ho that's a ho they ho like you. know they not 21 yet they not vaccinated. so or she probably got the shot early. her parents knew she was going to be a. ho and I used to say little stuff like. that your family knew you was a ho like.
you know just say little stuff like that. and when we got in health class got in. health class and they're talking about. all the different STDs you can get and. then I'm like excuse me excuse me what. about the the enzymes in the mouth the. baby carriage yeah and uh and then you. know the teacher tells me to explain. this and I explained it and everybody in. the class busted up laughing and he's. like Tiffany I think you need to talk to. your mom again I think you need to talk. to you know you need to have a. conversation cuz this is not you know.
because I was like what about the sperm. disease what about that what about the. sperm disease and it was you know and he. didn't like tell me I was wrong but he. said you should talk to your parents. right so um I couldn't really talk to my. mom at that point because she done had. the accident and all this stuff don't. happen so you know I I mentioned it to. my social worker the social worker like. well um I don't know if that's correct. but I like the way she's I I it's. interesting okay she kind of appreciated. where it's coming from right coming from.
a place of caution yeah a place of. caution but once I found out like that's. not a thing then I was like okay and. then I was trying to kiss boys and. trying to you know get in there yeah. yeah yeah get it in yeah cuz I I didn't. want to die of no man in. Gina no man in my vagina I want to I. want to have an experience before I. didn't realize that was a FAL. disase no man in Gina wow yeah cuz it. was people at school getting.
that's for like making out with people. or whatever you know and I was like well. I don't want to die of no man and. J you know you had some people tell you. early on when you were doing standup. maybe not so much sex talk yeah and then. you got some good advice yes from Bob. Saget Bob Saget yes who told me that was. like the first white man probably one of. the few white men that was like be who. you are be yourself don't listen to. everybody if you feel comfortable doing. it do that them do what feels right.
for you yeah and that was like that was. a huge uh like that was like my big. brother I love him very much you know. it's like a big brother to me and you. know the fact that um he told me to be. myself like so used to people trying to. tell me to be different be something. else like and for him to say like you. know this is Full House dad like he's. telling me be who you are them talk. about what you want to talk about and. and do you it'll pay off in the long run.
