Tiffany Haddish Aspires To Be “Queen Of The Hood" | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

you've did therapy but found that you. were just trying material out on the. therapist I love that part I don't know. the community that I grew up in you. don't talk about your problems you don't. put that you don't like air your family. business so I'm sitting here with this. therapist and I'm just like well let me. run these jokes let me run this like let. me run that like now I'm realizing I'm. paying money to make this half a laugh. this is not cool like this is not gonna. work for me like but um you know that. that therapist ended up suggesting that. I do comedy as a hobby because I had. stopped cuz I needed to make a living.

and $25 a show is not making a living. and then uh I started like doing comedy. as a hobby and immediate you know Vargas. Mason I know the name yeah yeah Vargas. Vargas has been doing comedy forever and. he saw me performing on this open mic. where I was just you know trying it out. this like my first time like getting. back like okay I'm G start this Hobby. and he's like you're funny you should do. this show with me we're doing this show. it's like a Women's Conference and blah. blah blah I'm like yeah he's like yes 15. minutes you get $50 I was like I'm there. bro I am so there.

and I get there and I'm doing my thing. and I am bombing I am bombing hard. because I'm doing like all boyfriend. jokes and stuff and and some dick jokes. and turns out that that that whole room. was. lesbians and they are heckling me and. they're like I got a dick bigger than. your boyfriend I'll take you somewhere. I'll show you and I was like no I like. his it has a heartbeat. and no one told you who's the audience.

they did not tell me and that's when I. learned you got to know who your. audience is you got to know your. audience and um and I bombed I bombed. bad but I stayed up there the whole 15. minutes cuz I wanted my $50 and but I. wasn't sure if he was going to give it. to me cuz I bombed so bad it was so bad. it was bad bad like I felt like a piece. of meat up there just like oh this is. horrible and I go backstage and I'm. trying not to cry and he's like whoa. rough room right it gives me my $50 and. I was like are you paying me anyway.

oh I'm doing this for the rest of my. life I just got to figure out how to get. better and better and better and that's. what I've been doing ever since getting. better and better every every chance I. get and I do make mistakes and I do bomb. from time to time but that comes that's. the nature of the Beast and every fail. is a lesson to be successful and don't. say that again try something else. yeah also um there are times where you. try something it doesn't work and I. don't know if you've had this but it. just you try something it doesn't work. but.

it it sounds so corny but like opens a. door to something else that might work. it do you know what I mean it's not just. oh that didn't work I won't say that. again but sometimes it leads to. something else it does and I look I'll. run a joke like six times six different. shows if it doesn't work the six times. then I know okay this is probably not. the right route to go this is not the. correct wording the idea to me is funny. but this is not this is not what's going. this don't hit don't don't do this one. no more but maybe the pr is good so try.

it a different way rewrite it this way. have you noticed that if you work too. hard on something and it's not coming it. means it's not there right like. sometimes the best things just come so. easily and I cannot tell you how long it. took me a long time to learn this but I. I got a work ethic and I would work and. work and work on something and it's just. not there and then I realized if you're. working that hard on it it's not there. you got to just walk away you got to let. it go got to let it go and when in doubt. throw it out yes when in doubt throw it. out if you doubt it and like it's not.

getting it let it go I'm I've been. practicing that a lot lately with. relationships and all kind of stuff and. I've been throwing stuff away but I am. still a hoarder of clothes CU I I think. I could fit in this again I know I. didn't wear it I haven't worn it since. 99 but I will get that small again I. might be 70 years old but I will wear. that crop top one more. time do you relate son oh my God yes. it's so sad the clothes that I have my.

closet that I just won't throw away I. don't want to give in the fact that I'm. I'm a large now and I used to be a. medium I can't do it oh my goodness some. of my stuff I've given to my sister this. is my issue like I need to if I give. away clothes and when I do and I usually. do about two three times a year I like. have to give it away to charity because. when I give it to like my. sisters and I see them wearing it I want. to rip that off their. back give me that back that look like. hey that's mine hey why it look better. on you than it does on me like did you.

take that out my closet they like you. gave it to me I'm like oh yeah I did. give it to you but inside I'm like I. should take that. okay so you've had this crazy. success you haven't changed in you you. say you in the book you talk about. Groupon you still using your Groupon. still use my Groupon okay yeah I just. bought some weights on it just recently. oh yeah yeah some new weights some some. cattle Bells Oh kettle bell okay you. ever walk around with those weight vests. you know some people do that I just. bought a weighted vests I was walking.

with my wife the other day and then at. one point she it's getting hot so she. takes off her like sweatshirt or. whatever and I see that she's wearing. this looks like a bulletproof vest and I. said what the is that and she was. like oh it's it adds like 20 PBS to my. walk so that I'll work harder and I. didn't know I thought I mean I didn't. she didn't tell me first of all but. again we haven't touched each other in. Years first line of defense she said. this protects me this protects me he. won't touch these tits.

his scaly hands aren't getting me uh but. you got one of those yeah I just ordered. one on Groupon yeah it was like 50 bucks. and it's a 20 pound weighted vest I just. ordered it and the kettle bells yeah cuz. I want to like walk with that stuff. that's funny me and your wife should be. friends let's do it she would love it. let's go on a weighted walk she's cool. okay take it easy she's cool she's. really cool yeah I married I married. well I'm I did the right thing good um.

in your book you talk about you found. this thing called a rage room I don't. know what a rage room is what's a rage. room oh my gosh a rage room so um it is. a room where you can go and you can. break stuff I feel like it's perfect for. white men all the movies I've seen where. y'all just tear up rooms and I'm like. who's going to clean that up like but. you go to this place is I go to this. place called the LA break room in Van. eyes and they have like crates full of. cups and bowls and plates and you can. just throw them against the wall and.

break them you can like uh there they. have old appliances in their ovens. microwaves. refrigerators uh uh a stove a chairs oh. there's one chair I that chair up. I took everything I had was like it's. better than sex it's such a great. release and it just I just tore that. up demolished it and nobody is mad. at me nobody I've never heard of do you. got I mean I want to do this I do know. I've heard about them and they're. awesome I've never been but it's great. for a date night too so they can see how. Ang you can be you know how how.

destructive you can be but I'm not. destructive like that but oh man it. feels so good I could break some stuff. time I went they had all Ronald Reagan. uh liary cups mugs I was like I hate to. do this to you Reagan but you did bring. drugs into our. community I. demolished your War on Drugs was garbage. you mentioned your community you what I.

love is you live in South Central and. you keep doubling down and buying homes. in South Central right yeah that's. fantastic I mean what now how many I. mean I don't want to get too specific. but you've bought a lot of properties. though yeah I only own one okay but the. foundation the llc's the trust funds I. see they own. many and every time I do a movie or a TV. show I buy a piece of land I always tell. them like make sure I get paid enough.

where I can buy like an apartment. building uh where I can buy something. that can make a difference you know uh. when I was little I used to think I was. going to be the queen of South Central. Los Angeles I want to be the queen of. the hood and now like on my street I own. well the the trust owns many many homes. that's fantastic and then and the. apartment buildings and duplexes that I. own I house Foster youth in it I rent. them out to organizations that help. Foster youth get housing and life skills. and all that and they I house a bunch of.

them but they don't know that I own it. but I do come by a mentor and talk to. the kids and um yeah and really I'm just. checking to make sure they didn't tear. my up it's a rage. room I'm like why is it footprints on. the ceiling I'm here to Mentor you and. also check up on stuff give you good. life advice but. check uh that and you know what's so. cool is I heard there was a there are. these big After parties after events. like whether it's the emys or the Golden.

Globes or the Oscars and but after one. you just went you went back to the. neighborhood yeah went right home right. to South Central LA yeah yeah so no so. you ski the fancy party um I went to the. fancy party took a picture and then left. and you talking about when I went over. to my home girl house over in uh uh. Compton yeah uh yeah so there was she. was having a car party so and then the. police came I took pictures with the my. face was beat for the guy. but um yeah I went to the event and uh.

took some pictures at the little. Afterparty left from there and like. changed my clothes put on some like you. know but I didn't wash my face and I. went over there it's like you up. here all cute looking all good I'm like. yeah but let's let me whoop that ass in. Spades we playing Spades we here for the. space and and then I guess I don't know. some people took pictures and posted and. then the police found out I was in the. community and they came over and like we. here to protect you make sure don't. nothing happen to you but I'm like I. come over here all the time don't. nothing happen to me like I'm Queen of. the Hood you are I'm not the Queen of.

the Hood in my mind in my. mind well you keep buying these. properties you are well hey landlord. yeah lord of the land.