The Rest Is History Podcast Hosts (FULL EPISODE) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

Hi, my name is Dominic Sambrook [music]. and I feel surprisingly aroused about. being Conan O'Brien. You understand. that? Hi, my name is Tom Holland and I. feel chuffed about being Conan O'Brien's. friend. >> Okay, looking that up now [laughter] on. UK slang. [music]. Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien. needs a friend. Shocking shocking. revelation today. Sonum obsessian is not.

with us. Her chair like Tiny Tim's. little stool in the corner is empty. Just a crutch. She's not here. No. >> Instead, uh it's just Matt and I. Which. is nice cuz this is a different dynamic. for us. There's none of that her. braaying laugh. >> Yeah. She's a nice icebreaker, though, because isn't it a little awkward with. just you and me? You know, reminds me of. an old Nor McDonald joke. He said, "Yeah, I uh went to uh went home for. Thanksgiving and uh [snorts].

saw the family and uh my dad and I. accidentally made eye contact.". [laughter]. >> And I thought, "God damn it, I relate to. them.". >> So now we have to look in each other's. eyes. No, you can't. You can't do it. [laughter]. >> No, I can't do that. I can't do that. But do you know where Sona is? >> I don't. No one told me where she went. >> You're going to love this. >> Okay. She is speaking. I think a. featured guest speaker. at an assistance convention.

>> No, she's not. [laughter] Is that a bit? >> I swear to God. >> This is not a bit. >> This is true. Yeah. >> There. >> I can just see your eyes. >> No, I'm sorry. Glowing. >> Is it a howto or like a cautionary tale? >> I don't. >> You know what I mean? >> No. I think she is, you know. >> Is it a scared straight? [laughter]. >> She turns the chair around backwards and. sits down. Look, guys, if you want to be. an assistant, don't do what I did. >> Yeah. >> Uh, wow. So, she's telling people how to. be an assistant. >> Ostensibly, I don't know if it's a Q&A.

or she's doing a speech about it, but. she is. >> Could be a trial. [laughter]. >> War crimes. >> Maybe it's an entrapment. >> She's like, she's in a glass booth. [laughter]. >> She's wearing headphones. People are. coming up and testifying against her. [laughter] We may never see her again. >> No, we're not going to see her cuz I. know what the verdict's going to be. [laughter]. >> Wow, that's incredible. >> She also found out recently before going.

to this that it's for a bunch of tech. company assistants. >> Yeah. >> So, it's not even like industry. entertainment, >> right, >> assistance. This is specifically tech. >> Oh, this is a disaster. I mean, I wish. we could find out where it is and. quickly drive over there in a van. >> Um, >> I don't know. I I'm just I would I would. love when let's find out when she's when. she's back. Remind me. We have to dig. down deep on what happened. >> We'll do a whole segment on it. Yeah, we. got to find out more.

>> It's just astounding to me. But, you. know, we love our Sona. We do miss her. >> We do. >> Um, >> rest in peace. >> Yeah. Well, no, please. She's She's You. always go to right to rest in peace. Well, that was a good meal. Yep. Rest in. peace. No. >> Um, how are you? Oh, >> this is a chance for us to really drill. down. How are you, Matt Gorly, as a. person? How's your life? >> It's good. >> Look at me. I'm right here. Look me in. the eye. I can't do it. Look at me. [groaning]. >> Right past you. >> Oh, wow. >> I'm good. I'm good. Thank you. How are.

you? >> But you didn't say anything and then you. put it right back on me. >> Um, >> how am I going to find out about you? >> What do you want to know? I'm an open. book. >> You aren't You aren't an open [laughter]. book. How are things at home? How's. everything going? >> Good. Good. My um daughter's cracking me. up daily, you know. >> How old is she now? >> She's going to be four. Uh in well, by. the time this comes out. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Very good. Yeah. This doesn't air. for three years. [laughter]. >> Uh. >> um so uh that's great. Yeah. >> Is she funny? >> She's really funny. Yeah. She's a.

character, man. She rules the house. Uh. she's a like beta to the rest of the. world, but it just. >> a horrible alpha to me. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's what happens. They're like. lovely to other people and then they. come home and they're absolute. Mussolinis. >> You're not kidding. >> Even when it comes down to play, like. she gives me my lines for when we're. playing. She dictates them to me. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, it sounds like you're miserable at. home. >> I'm having some struggles. [laughter].

>> Well, um, feel free to, you know, talk. to me anytime about anything that's. going on in your life. >> I'd rather not. [laughter]. >> I'd rather you did either. All right. >> You know what you should do? Schedule it. with David Hopping. Now there's an. assistant. >> I could talk to him. >> You know who's not going to go to an. assistance convention is David Hoppin. >> Yeah. You know, how are you? >> Uh I got to ask David. >> Okay. >> David keeps my schedule and he tells me. how I am. Um [laughter]. uh I'm doing very well. Thank you. and I.

am going to head east uh to New York. very shortly to help this is a new. experience for me promote a film that I. made. >> I know this is exciting. >> Yeah. And I'm um this is a new thing for. me to say you got to go check out my. picture. See, I mean that's nothing I've. aspired to or ever thought would happen. >> You should come on this podcast. >> I should come on this podcast. We should. tape You know what we should do? We. should tape me talking and asking.

questions and then switch it around and. I'll do the other side. >> It's a good idea actually a video. >> You mean actually it's an idea that I. said by definition is a good idea. >> It's Yeah, it's an idea. Nice tune, Mozart. [laughter]. >> Not necessary. Not necessary. Um God, what a prick. [laughter]. >> I don't know why anybody talks to this. I'm trying to get out of it. You're. being paid. [laughter]. >> No, I do like talking to you and I can.

look you in the eye and I I am happy. >> Well, [laughter]. you're blinking in Morse code. Please. save me. Um, yeah. So, that's my story. Um, I'm I'm [laughter]. in the pictures. >> Let's end this. We should get to this. because this is a really fun. >> No. Okay. Okay, I want out. >> Gentlemen, uh I'm going to begin by. saying that uh it is quite a comedown. for me to have you on the podcast. And.

I'll explain why. Uh I have a very large. ego. Uh and for a while I believed that. I had the greatest podcast in the world. I really did. I really thought I cannot. be touched. No one can come close. And. then one day several years ago, I heard. someone mention this podcast called The. Rest Is History. And I'm a history buff. I listened to one episode. I listened to. two. I listened to three and four. I've.

now listened to possibly 300 or 400 of. your 800. I'm working my way through. [snorts] And I have to concede that you. have the greatest podcast. That's. gracious. >> You will always have the greatest. podcast. >> I'm loving this podcast. is um I I am uh. I am an addict. I'm here to confess my. addiction. >> and uh I um you're in my ears all the. time and whenever people ask me what. podcast do you listen to, I don't give.

them a list. I say it's the rest is. history uh with Tom and Dominic. And I. um I I was starruck when I heard your. voices and I was in the room upstairs in. my Larchmont. This is a palace really. Yeah. >> Uh [laughter]. I heard your voices. I couldn't believe. that you were here. So um not since I. met George Harrison back at Saturday. Night Live back in the day have I been. this excited. >> And you met Paul McCartney. >> I've Yes, I've met Paul McCartney, >> but we're more exciting.

>> Yeah, you guys are No. No. Um I'm going. to put you on the same level. >> Okay. Well, thank you. >> We're on the same level. Um so. gentlemen, thank you so much for being. here. >> Really? >> No. Thank you. >> That's all the time we have. [laughter]. It's been lovely having you. >> It's fine. You've said enough for Let's. Let's end it there. It's not going to. get better. Uh I love history and my. favorite thing about your show is that. the history is brilliant and I feel it's. very well researched and you're both. very knowledgeable, but it's funny and.

I'm a big believer in uh keeping two. opposing ideas in your head at the same. time. You guys will talk about some of. the grimmst things in the history of the. world, like World War I, but there'll be. sections where you can't stop laughing. >> Yeah. >> And I'm laughing with you. >> And I love that because both things are. true. World War I might be the worst. thing that ever happened. >> to humanity. It's absolutely terrible. and a war that was fought for no reason.

And then I will find myself, you two. will get talking about the Kaiser and. what a ridiculous man the Kaiser was. >> And I will be crying. I'm laughing so. hard along with you. >> Is it is humor the way into this or was. it the way into your love of history? >> Uh no actually. So the story is the way. in for me. >> Did you just Did you just disagree with. me? >> I did. Yeah. Set out the school right. now. >> Let me explain where you are right now. >> You're in America. Former [laughter]. colony. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. You've. actually got 250 years of back taxes to. pay. [laughter].

>> Oh yes. >> Come on. You knew that was coming. >> I knew it was coming. >> Um. >> I think the story is the weigh in always. and the characters, but the humor. emerges naturally. So we don't. >> we don't try to impose the humor on the. story. >> But you know, you're doing the Kaiser. who's a ridiculous man who's coming up. with all these mad schemes to invade. places and whatnot and is. >> basically smoldering with fury because. he thinks his British relatives despise. him. >> and that's what drives him. And you've. got all these generals with gigantic. mustaches and they've all got emphyma.

Yes. And all of that. >> that I mean that's true to the history. It's not us imposing it on it. And if. you you can blind yourself to that and. say no, history is terribly serious and. very desiccated. But the humor is part. of the human condition. >> I think that um there's a case for. seeing the whole sweep of human history. as a very dark comedy. >> Yeah. >> Because history essentially is the. record of people not getting what they. want. people um overinflating their own. sense of worth. And so there is a kind. of inherent strain of comedy that runs.

throughout almost every period of. history that you look at. And I guess. that um even the very darkest episodes, it's it's a comedy in the sense that. Dante wrote the divine comedy. It's the. sense that um. sometimes you have to you have to laugh. so you don't weep. Yeah. I guess. >> Yeah. I think uh to me reference one of. my favorite British comedies of all. time, Black Adder. >> Mhm. >> There's a sense of. um so much of the humor from Black Adder.

and also from the Python films was just. bring out your dead, bring out your dead. in Holy Grail. Uh, and and so much of. the comedy in Life of Brian is uh, and I. think the British are uniquely very good. at doing this is giving is seeing the. dark and the absurdly comical at the. exact same moment. >> Yeah. >> And holding both molecules together as. they bounce off each other. >> Yeah. People are funny, right? Human. beings behave at. >> Many aren't, by the way. And I have.

footage to prove it. [laughter]. >> But often often the people often the. people who take themselves incredibly. serious seriously are the funniest. history is, you know, the the great. figures of history invariably take. themselves very very seriously. >> Yeah. >> I mean, um, you have your obsessions. You are obsessed with facial hair and. you will. >> Is that unusual? Who is. >> No. And and what I love is you'll talk. about, again, I'll go back to the World. War I example, but this goes throughout.

your entire podcast. Any subject you. take up, if someone has absurd facial. hair, >> Yeah. you start cackling. >> and um and and most of the generals you. introduce Russian, British, French, uh. anyone from Austria, Austria, Hungary, Hungary, uh you are uh you know, Serbia, Croatia, you're you're saying, "Oh my. god, and this next one, >> an insane an insane this beard is is is. greater than the previous beard." I.

mean, now you mention it, I'm thinking. actually the Americans, >> they they have very poor mustache, don't. they? So, we've got obviously we've got. a bit of a wait for the Americans to. arrive. >> late for a world war. >> They they um they peaked too early. though. No, the Civil War. They've got. that. >> But. at beards, >> Civil War, we had great beards. Uh and. if I mean, I'm I'm not going to sit here. and listen to you run our beards down. No, we we are huge admirers of warivil.

19th century civil war beard. I mean. insane. Our our secretary of war Stanton. had an insane beard. Several men were. living in it. >> Your current your current secretary of. state for war, which I gather is now. what it's called. He's he's banning. facial hair. >> Yes. Uh does he not know Pete Hegathth. said, "I won't have there'll be no. beards. There'll be no individuation. there'll be no uh and he said we won't. have any hippies. Uh cut your hair, shave your beard. Um and we know he's a.

true patriot because he wears an. American flag tie, >> which is what every true patriot does. >> Um and uh he he he went after anyone. wearing beards. And I had the same. thought, which is excuse me. >> Yeah. >> Uh some of our greatest generals had. incredible beards back in the day. They. did. And they did not affect their. fighting ability at all. >> And um if you're Kuster, very long hair. Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Long golden locks. >> They were thinning though, weren't they? By the time.

>> he was trying to compensate for his loss. of vility. >> Yes. >> Yes. You think that because Kuster was. losing his hair, he felt I need to. attack this village that's 100 times. larger than my fighting. >> I mean, imagine the surprise of the uh. the brave who scalped him. >> Disappointment. >> Disappointment. Huge. >> Disappointment. They called him. They. called him They called him long hair. So. he's long hair. Oh my god. He's. >> Oh my god. He's losing it. He looks like. Larry [laughter] David. >> Yeah. >> Um yeah, he had Larry David should play.

Kuster in that final battle. When a. 100,000 hostile natives come over the. hill, he should frown and you hear wmp. [laughter]. the Civil War, doesn't he? >> Yeah, he does. >> There's the famous photo of him with his. daughter looking at Gettysburg. Yeah. >> Um [laughter]. Yeah. I uh now and and then you will get. I'll be listening to you and we're on. Kuster now. So this is a good example. I'm listening to your long multi-. episodes about about the [snorts].

uh you know who is this Kuster? What's. happening? How did this whole thing come. about? How do we get to this battle? The. the the pretory uh and beautifully told. And then you're talking about one of the. people who's fighting alongside Kuster. underneath him, Ben Teen. You two. >> you despise Bentine. >> No, Ben is a great man. >> I thought you hated Bentine. >> No, he's very like Dominic. >> Oh, well, I hated him. So, by extension, I hate you. [laughter].

>> So, opinions on that. I now hate I was. just sad. I now hate Dominic [laughter]. >> because I'm not a fan of Ventine. What. about you? >> What was it? >> Well, I obviously respect and you know. the line was I read it out on the. podcast. The line from the book. It said. beneath his chubby cheicked cordiality. lurked uh cold and sinister. intelligence. [laughter] That's you. >> Yeah. And I read to Tom and Tom said. that's like you. And then I was so. offended by that. I read it to my wife. and she said you're literally describing. yourself. >> Right. So of the villain, one of the.

villains or as history has often miscast. him. >> Oh, he's not villain. He's a great man. >> Please. I'm saying as as history has. miscast him. He's often been seen as the. villain of the battle. But you say no. I. this man's terrific. I like the cut of. his jib. >> I do like the cut of his jib. So, initially he lets himself down a bit, doesn't he? By being difficult and not. helping Kuster, but then at the end when. they're trapped on the hill with Major. Reno, >> who Major Reno who's in a massive funk. >> who's sobbing and and like has to be. trusted up like a hog. >> Like a hog. [laughter].

>> You know, I do I will say I had sympathy. for Reno. And if anyone's lost at this. point, we're talking about the. [laughter] battle of Little Big Horn. >> Everybody's lost. And um and please, this is my podcast and these are the. only two people left in the world that I. really want to talk to and I'm taking. this ship down right now. But um one of. the reasons I sympathize with Reno is I. think if I'm ever in a difficult. situation, a life and death situation, I. will lose my nerve and I will have to be.

trusted up like a hog by my friends to. keep myself from hurting myself. >> Yeah. This is when you described you. compared Reno to yourself. Do you. remember? >> Yeah. I said I I would run away. >> Yeah. You said you compared him to. yourself out our live shows. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> So Tom has to be trusted up like a hog. before our live shows because he's. jibbering with nerves. >> whereas I having behaved poorly all day. calculating intelligence kicks in my. discuss. Yes. This is I mean uh so first. of all I'm I think I'm more in the Tom. camp. >> I will be gibbering. >> It's a word I love.

>> Were you jibbering before your shows. before your talk shows? >> I I jibber all day long. I don't think. you understand. >> You were jibbering during them. >> I speak in tongues. Um, I have whatever. Irish disease we have where we speak. mostly in babel. That's me all day long. and then they occasionally record it and. we seem to be able to sell ads. Okay, >> that's what's happened. >> Um, I have. >> I love the podcast. Uh, >> my only. >> I want to say [clears throat] my only my. only problem is occasionally you two and.

I and I understand why you're doing it. You're very proudly uh British. You will. throw out the name of some minor member. of parliament in the late 80s or early. 90s and you'll both start cackling about. [laughter] Cecile Bidder and um you'll. be giggling and I will be driving my car. and I will turn it into the nearest. tree. [laughter]. >> Killing myself. I've been reincarnated. both times. I'm bored. No, just rage.

that you two are having so much fun. about Ceile Beetlebarter and I don't. know what the you're [laughter]. talking about. So, so he will have very. thick glasses. >> Yeah. >> He'll have a kind of silvery hair. >> Yeah. >> And he'll look he'll have dandruff. >> Massive dandruff. >> He'll have a pinstripe suit. >> He'll look an utterly unmemorable. figure. But he will have been insanely. brave during the Second World War and. taken out three German tanks and taken. the MC contrast between them. >> And then he'll be caught in a flat.

>> uh wearing stockings. >> Wearing stockings. Yeah. [laughter]. with a black bin liner and an orange in. his mouth or something like that. [music]. Okay. I have to ask uh how you two met. because the chemistry between the two of. you is perfection and um I that's a big. magic of the show and I'm curious how. did these two how do these two guys come.

into each other's orbit? >> We were thinking of lying about this. >> Yeah. Yeah. So actually on the way in. Tabby our producer said you need to make. up a new origin story because it's not. very good. Uh. >> we can I'm happy with a lie if it's a. good one. >> No it's not a good one. And we we. haven't had time to think of one cuz. we're not very imagin. >> Do you want me to think of one for you? >> Well, you're in combat together in the. Gren. You're in Grenada, I'm guessing. Right. >> Grenada in like when the Americans. invaded. >> Yeah. No, we're kicking the We're. fighting the Americans. >> Yeah. Surely on behalf of the.

Commonwealth. Yeah. Okay. >> Because the the youselves invading. Grenada. You let yourselves down. invading Grenada. >> How did we let ourselves down? >> Cuz it's a British. >> British colony. >> Yes. British. >> You needed a little help. >> I don't know. >> But this is good. Anyway, listen. We. didn't meet. I'm sick of I mean, we've. helped you out a few times, I believe. >> Late, >> right? >> We Hey, we show up late. Yes, we showed. up late in World War I. We showed up. late in World War II. >> Um, and uh, but that's the way we are. We like to show up late. And I like to. arrive late at a party because people.

notice me more. It's my ego. And I think. that's what Americans love to do. historically is show up when the tide. has almost turned. It's almost too late. And then we uh supply you with tons of. mediocre equipment but lots of it. >> Yeah. And of course the trouble of the. World War I is we were both on the wrong. side. So we should have joined with the. Germans. >> to have a crack at the French. >> You smash the French once and for all. >> Now let's talk about this uh Dominic. Uh. you are you are so through and through. uh a British uh uh citizen. You loathe.

the French and you're always going after. them on the podcast. And I. >> I actually lived in France. I speak. French. [laughter]. >> Yeah. I'm Listen, I'm very impressed. with I love that you took the time to. learn the language of the people you. despise. >> The enemy [laughter]. you could be passive aggressive to them. in their own tongue. >> Do you do you ever did you grow up? Is. this just you playing a part or is there. real animosity there towards. >> I think probably initially playing a. part but it's entered. I've forgotten. who I am and it's entered. [laughter].

>> The mask The mask has blended into your. flesh. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yeah. Yeah, I think so. >> Beautiful. You like you like the French. though, don't? >> I do like the French. Um, >> you don't have any uh when that whole. period when Napoleon's trying to well uh. destroy the English uh islands, you're. okay with that? >> I like them because I think they're. they're the coolest of enemies. They are. a very very classy enemy to have. >> And I think because we always beat them, that redowns to our credit. >> So I I mean I wouldn't in any way.

underestimate the French, >> right? They're bit I mean for most of um. England's history and indeed Britain's. history they were much richer, much more. powerful, much more sophisticated and so. the pleasure of thrashing them. >> is all the sweeter. >> becomes all the sweeter. >> Yeah, they do have those desserts. >> They do. >> Those desserts are fantastic. >> Yes. I mean, show me. Do you have some. great I mean your desserts are fines. >> Yeah, you have. >> The French don't do a pudding though, do. they? They don't do Well, we Yeah, but I. don't think they want to do a pudding. They're letting you have the pudding.

because quite frankly, no one really. wants a pudding. >> No, no, you're wrong about that. >> I I love pudding. >> Yeah, you got to have a pudding. >> Okay. [clears throat] I don't have to. have a pudding. And uh and you may think. this is a culde-sac we've gone down. This is a a [laughter] dead end. I say. I'm going to go hard on this pudding. thing. I think you guys have disgraced. yourself with your puddings. >> Okay. Well, >> and there. So, there we go. >> This is punchy stuff. >> It's unbelievable. [laughter]. >> Um. >> I mean, the French of course would agree. with you. >> Yes. Yeah, >> that. >> that's the one I jump in with the French. on that one. Um, you guys uh um you have.

>> you have your obsessions and I love. that. And you also have your heroes. Dominic, I know for you. >> um it might be Admiral Lord Nelson. Is. he your all-time favorite? >> Who's your all-time favorite? Because I. want to get from both of you. >> I think for both of us. Nelson. >> Do you know I have a ton to use a French. word for Richard Nixon. I like Richard. Nixon. Yeah, >> I find him very entertaining. >> He's fascinating. Well, my show here in.

the States began in September of 1993. and a reporter asked me, "Who would your. favorite comedy guest be?" Right. >> And I said, "Richard Nixon." Because. Richard Nixon was still alive. >> He was the face of comedy for about a. good 12 years in our country. >> All comedy, he comedians were obsessed. with him. He was very uh fun guy to have. sport with and I mean he obsessed every. comedy writer uh for you know a huge.

chunk of uh modern American history. So. I wanted to talk to Richard Nixon. Um. and then he passed away I believe I. started in September. I think he died in. maybe March and I thought there goes my. chance. Do. >> you know what AI they can bring back. some kind of Nixon avatar sweating. aggressively at you. Yeah, that we [laughter]. >> Nixon does appear on this podcast many. times. I morph into Nixon even when he's. not appropriate.

and it's a very cartoonish over the top. >> We we went to Disneyland and they've got. an animatronic version. We got what a. Lincoln and Disney. >> so I'd have thought that Nixon would be. >> an animatronic like kind of walking. >> himself was an animatronic. There may. not have been I mean we love well um. we're very keen on inappropriate. footwear people wearing the wrong shoes. at the wrong time and Nixon was. brilliant at that cuz he what was it he. wore. >> black shoes on the beach on the beach on. the beach. >> and we we. >> we like that in a.

>> promote that in in a man. >> um I okay as a little tidbit and I'm. going to brag here for a moment one of. Nixon's biographers who knew him is a. woman named Monica Crowley who's written. a lot about. >> Nixon in winter late in his career here. She told me that Nixon at the end of. very end of his life was flipping. around. He wanted he was interested in. television. He liked to watch television. and I premiere and he watched our first. episode. And then she said that he liked.

it and told her, >> "I like it. It's Mad Cap." [laughter]. >> It's Mad Cap. And I thought, I love that. Nixon, now I I want Monica Crowley to. write that down so that it's part of the. official record. But she told me that he. watched it probably with his. >> shoes on over his pajamas, uh, and. watched it at 12:30 at night here in. America and said, "I like it. It's Mad. Cap.". >> Yeah. But he would say it without. smiling, wouldn't he? No, he would. >> There'd be no flicker of amusement on.

his face. >> So basically, you had six months where. you could have leveraged that, I think. Um, yeah. I well first of all very. quickly critics turned on me and Nixon's. advisers probably would have said well. no his advisers were famously terrible. they would have said they [laughter]. would have said double down you should. you should break into the DNC for no. reason at all and pay the burglars out. of your own pocket and you should. immediately go on Conan O'Brien's late. night show. [laughter] Um so Admiral. Lord Nelson for both of you.

>> Yeah I think so. >> you've got to throw in somebody ancient. there Tom though. Uh, no. Because people. in antiquity are are terrifying and. terrible. Um, I mean, they're. astonishing. I think almost without. exception. Yes. >> Well, I think back then your average. person was grabbing them someone who. walked into their walked by their house. and thrusting them over a large uh. sharpened stick. Yeah. >> You know, and impaling them. >> Quite a lot of that going on. Yeah. I I. think that they um the further back in. time you go, the harder it is to relate.

to people because they are so different. Um I mean I think of someone like. Alexander or Julius Caesar. They they. are terrifying because they move to kind. of moral rhythms that are very very. strange and remote to us. >> So I can't kind of love any of them or. admire them. >> Um so I think it has to be kind of more. recent because then you can understand. them. >> [snorts]. >> Well, my all-time favorite is Lincoln, Abraham Lincoln, because uh he's the one. figure.

that. is more impressive the more I learn. about him, >> the more I I I think he's I think he. might be one of our greatest authors, also one of our greatest humanitarians. and an incredible statesman and funny. >> And what's what's your take on his wife? >> Yeah, >> cuz we had a disagreement about this. >> We got into trouble. I got into trouble. Was getting into trouble. saying she was. a monster. >> I don't think that's right. I was I. think that's too simple. I think it's. too simple to say she's a monster. I. think she was unwell.

>> Listen and learn. I'm literally never. coming on this. [laughter]. >> Well, you weren't coming again anyway. >> You said that before we even started. I'll do this once. My people tell me I. have to do it. >> Right. Exactly. [laughter]. >> I didn't realize you were listening to. Let's hear about why Mary Lincoln is not. a monster. Uh she is um crucial I think. to Lincoln's rise. She comes from a. connected family. She's very ambitious. on his behalf.

>> Uh my wife who's also a massive fan of. uh both you gentlemen, massive fan and. regular listener. She um she did a great. podcast called significant others and. she talked about Mary Lincoln and. Abraham Lincoln and talked about the. complexities of. >> what's good about Mary Lincoln, what's. but it's her podcast and the research. was that she did a lot for him. She was. very ambitious on his behalf. Um in some. ways she was a good partner. She was. highly flawed. But I think to dismiss.

her as a monster isn't fair. >> Did she not though steal all the spoons. in the White House when she left? >> Who hasn't done that? I've not I've been. to the White House three times. Did you. steal a spoon? How many did you steal? I. stole a flat screen television. [laughter]. >> I mean, I just spoons. I don't need a. spoon. Who needs a spoon? [laughter] If you're going to go, go. big, I said. So, yeah. I um. >> Yeah, but she stole something like 6,000. spoons or whatever. >> Oh, come on. Get over it. You know, >> what did Margaret Thatcher take when she. left power? I do have a question. This.

is a serious question that has confused. me somewhat over time. I sometimes have. a take on a British figure that's. completely out of step with what British. people think of that figure. >> So like who? >> Well, Margaret Thatcher's one because I. feel that you almost can't I've been in. circles where you almost can't bring her. up. >> Oh yeah. >> And she has been cancelled. And uh I. I've seen books of great women in.

history and Margaret Thatcher isn't even. in there and she's this highly. significant person. >> and I understand that [clears throat]. there's complexities there and there are. things that she did but interesting to. me that. >> um she isn't held. >> well. >> in more esteem. Dominic has written a. 7,000page book on her. >> Yeah. >> So I didn't know that. >> Is absolutely the man to take this on. Do you think am I correct that I've been. around Brits and I've said uh what do.

you guys prefer Brits? Uh. >> limeies. What do you like? I. >> I think we. Englishman. [laughter]. God. >> officers and gentlemen. >> Okay. Uh admiral kind of [laughter]. thing. >> Just sir commander. >> Just sir is fine. >> Yeah. Okay. Sir, >> um, >> your highnesses, uh, um, I have noticed. that you have to have her as part of the. conversation and it's as if she didn't. exist and I that doesn't feel right to. me. Am I correct? >> I think I think kind of liberal opinion.

for once of a better word or better. phrase still holds her in very low. regard because she was a, you know, she. was a right of center politician. uh a lot of people suffered under in the. Thatche government because of. de-industrialization. Um she was a very very strident and. partisan politician. You know, you were. she you were one of hers or you were one. of the opposition. >> and she drew the battle lines very. clearly. >> So it's understandable why people hate. her, right? I get I completely get that.

>> I mean I'm sure Tom would probably agree. with me on this. She's an incredibly. impressive person. Yeah. >> So, if you look at photographs of her, she's often in the room with men and. she's the only woman. >> and she's made her own way. She's fought. her way up the ladder. She's incredibly. well prepared cuz she thinks she has to. work harder than any man cuz she thinks. she'll be dismissed at any moment. >> So, that and she feels she has to become. harder than hard to prove that she's not. a soft and sensitive woman. >> All of which maybe makes her quite. unlikable. I I think she probably.

wouldn't have got on with us because she. had very little sense of humor and she. was harsh, you know, hard company, difficult company. Yeah. >> Um but she is a I mean certainly. compared with Britain's recent prime. minister. >> So that I think I think that there's a. kind of kaleidoscopic quality to. people's reputations in history and I. think the How long is she 10 years? She. was prime minister for 10 years. >> and basically we you know we current. prime ministers last about a week. >> Yeah. They're like fruit flies. have the. same life expect and same intellect.

[laughter]. >> They're so terrible. >> They're nourished on the blood of. others. >> They they are so terrible that I I think. her reputation can only improve by. comparison. >> Yeah. Bong I mean the comparison between. her and Liz Truss Kharma. I mean Rissy. is not that. >> I mean names that no no one listening. will ever have heard of any of them. >> Yeah. They just enter the front of. Downing Street and they go out the back. without breaking stride. Uh I um I'm. also uh a a big churchile. I I I I I.

really love Churchill and I know that um. I've talked to uh British people who oh. well, you know, he behaved poorly here, he behaved poorly there. There's a lot. of it that maybe doesn't age well. >> And sometimes I am impatient. And I. think, "Oh my god, you know, this this. was the perfect person at the perfect. time with the perfect wit and the. perfect eloquence.". >> Um, that alone should protect him. >> I mean, am I wrong? >> He got one massive thing right.

>> And I think essentially that cancels. everything he got wrong. >> Yeah. Also, I mean, you got to give a. massive. >> I'm going to say one massive thing right. just for anyone who's, you know, he at. the people were trying to appease. Hitler. Appease Hitler. Appease Hitler. And he said enough of this. He's right. about that. But I think specifically. it's the moment when the Nazis are on. the French coast. >> Mhm. >> Um there's a serious prospect that the. British government may open negotiations. with Hitler. >> Yep. >> And had that happened.

>> Yeah. >> then the history of Europe and of the. world would have been radically. different that it doesn't happen. >> is massively dam because of one man who. said no. Right. I mean, there's amazing. pinch pointing story about him. addressing his MPs and saying to them, "If this Long Island story of ours is to. end, let it end only when we are choking. in our own blood on the ground." Yeah. >> And that kind of stirring stuff. I mean, nobody says that outside movies. He says. that he galvanizes the English language,

the English people. >> I have a theory that, again, I'm just. going to go with Brits because I don't. know what else to say. um that the. British people are famously afraid of or. wary of puffed up language or it you. know I know it's certainly true of the. Kelts. The minute someone starts to say. we everyone is going oh get over. yourself. >> that. >> all the rhetoric I love of Churchills. sometimes is slightly embarrassing. >> Well the thing is he he he speaks like.

that from about the age of four. >> Yeah. And it makes him [laughter] a very. a a very comical figure. So what is it. at the age of 10? >> Yeah, I know. He's at school. I love him. at four saying anyone who will not give. that toy and put it back IN MY PRAM WILL. CHOKE ON THEIR OWN BLOOD. [laughter]. >> BUT the thing is he's I mean he at the. age of 10 or something when he's at. school, he's writing essays about how he. is going to save Britain from foreign. invasion. And he in a sense, you know, his whole life has been preparation for. 1940 when when he and the other thing he.

stands alone. >> He got loads wrong. He made loads of. terrible, terrible mistakes and some of. his, you know, more intemperate. statements don't stand up very well. today to our scrutiny. But when you look. at his life, >> he had an amazing life. >> Oh my god, he is Zelig. Woody Allen. movie Zelig where he's in every Africa. and he escapes from a bur prisoner war. camp. He's in Cuba when the Americans. are fighting in Cuba. He's fighting in. India. He's hit by a cab in New York. City in the 1930s. >> These crazy thiswhere this extraordinary.

life. Plus, >> he is such a likable personality. He's. so a brilliant. He's such fun. He's a. great laugh. If you were sitting next to. you at dinner, you know, you wouldn't. get a word in edgeways. >> Oh, I would. >> But he'd be [laughter]. you know who you're messing with. >> Hey, Winston. [laughter]. >> Oh, let this Irish idiot in here. Um I. uh when I visited I have my frequent. stops when I'm in London. Imperial War.

Museum I always have to go. I witnessed. an argument. This is in the late 80s. I. was at the Imperial War Museum and I. witnessed there's a there was a British. halftrack there and two old German men. were saying this was not the best design. and two British guys said well it was. bloody well good enough wasn't it? And. they got into it and I thought, >> what was the accent that that British. person had? [laughter]. >> I FAILED, CHAP. Dick Van Djk taught me. how [clears throat] to talk to. [laughter] guys. Bl me. Hello, governor.

Um, I did that to Hugh Lor's face once. and I think he struck me. Uh, but it's. all a blur now. >> We have an episode on Mary Poppins. coming up. >> Oh, really? Yeah, we do. >> Terrific. Well, >> Van, he was taught his um cult accent by. an Irishman who'd been appointed by Walt. Disney. It was the ultimate act of the. IRA. [laughter]. >> Yeah, it was the sabotage. >> Explains a lot. >> Yeah. Um, yeah, he has apologized many. times. I had him on the show and I asked. him about that and he said, "I'm sorry.

That's what I was taught. It's. terrible." But to his credit, he's he's. Dick Van Djk. He's a national treasure. for us. And uh and he apologized. Um but. uh what were we talking about? I've. drifted. >> Imperial War Museum. Yes. And then. Chartwell. I went to Chartwell which I. that is great. >> and I just looking at the Chartwell is. the [clears throat] country estate that. Churchill bought when he didn't have the. money to buy it and he was making I mean.

to his credit earning his living writing. articles and probably spending money he. didn't have but he bought Chartwell and. there are a few homes that tell you who. the person is. Most of them have been. redone. The person isn't really there. My two favorites are Chartwell uh and um. Teddy Roosevelt's house at Sagamore Hill. and Oyster Bay. Oh, you have to go. because Teddy Roosevelt's there. They. didn't touch it. His wife kept it. exactly the same. When she passed, it.

became a museum. Nothing's been changed. It's filled with stuffed heads and. bombast. uh hyperactivity. And uh. >> they're quite similar, I think. Yeah, they are. They're very similar. Do you. know who TR's hero was? >> Uh, well, Kipling, who? >> Oliver Cromwell. >> Oh, that's Oliver Cromwell. Yes. >> His hero, one of my heroes, actually, Kan, sorry. >> Not so much of the British. I mean, of. the Irish. I once, my grandmother lived. with us growing up. And she was uh she. had been born in 1890.

>> Mhm. >> And the movie Cromwell was on in her. room. She room on the side. >> Richard Harris film. >> Richard Harris. And I'm crossing her. room and the door is slightly a jar and. the flickering image. She's watching it. and it's a scene where the British are. under Cromwell or something's going on. I can't remember but it was something. about the Irish and my grandmother's. watching and she just said the bastards. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Well, you know, we we um we grew up on. these um children's books called. Ladybird books and they were the books.

about great lives. So there was um. Oliver Cromwell was one of them and it. has kind of famous summing up and it. says Oliver Cromwell brackets except in. Ireland was a kindly man [laughter]. >> which. O'Brien except for to his staff and. [laughter] friends was a kindly man. >> Yeah I which I think um yeah sums up. perhaps. >> what was that saying Cromwell? He was. robust in Ireland. >> He was robust. >> Robust. Yeah, >> robust is a very useful word on the.

podcast, >> but uh. >> they had sometimes pungent views. >> Pungent and robust. They they carry a. lot of weight. You know, the the the. larger to Google Earth out of this all. these little areas for a second. One of. the things that sustains me and I know. that you have a lot of young listeners. which I love because um I think the role. that history plays for me in my life, my. knowledge of history and my enthusiasm. for it is it often reminds me that we've.

been here before and that the history of. mankind is a lot of things constantly. going wrong. Um, and. you know, good good people in the mix. trying to write the ship. But I get a. lot of satisfaction out of all the. things that are happening today that are. so can seem so dire. And of course, unlike anyone that you're talking about. in your podcast, we're being bombarded. with bad news constantly through this.

new technology. A lot of young people just think, well, this is the end of the world. And I try. and remind them, >> oh, things have been worse. >> Oh, no. And I But [laughter] I keep. telling them, do you think 1914 was. great? How about 1861 in the States? I. mean, uh, even in our recent history, the '60s was a a dreadful decade. '7s, '8s, I mean, it's hard to locate a time. when we all didn't think when I was at. university, as you call it, when I was. in college, >> we all thought Reagan is going to blow.

up the world. >> and this is the end. >> Late for the first two world wars, early. for the third. >> Yeah. Exactly. [laughter] Yeah. Whale, whale, whale. There we go. Oh, there goes Moscow. Oh, here goes whale. Uh, but I mean, uh, and I I'm just. constantly reminded that we have. >> we had a moment of optimism when the. Berlin Wall fell, which quickly turned. to cynicism and then um things seem to. have just gotten much worse uh in Russia. and we see what's happening in the world. and I think, well, this is the way it's.

been. It's always been this way. >> So, I would say a couple things. One is. that um people always behave badly. History keeps happening and people will. continue doing bad things because human. nature doesn't change. And yet most. people alive today live longer, healthier, you know, more comfortable, warm, you know, warmer as in shielded. from cold. >> uh lives with more opportunities, more. cult, you know, the broader cultural. horizons, all of that kind of thing. That's not to be complacent, but we're, you know, you'd rather be here than at. any previous point in history. And the.

other thing is dentistry which is always. mentioned. >> and antibiotics. >> Antibiotics. My father was a. microbiologist and studied antibiotics. his entire life. Never went to the. dentist though. >> Um face of just broken tombstones in his. mouth. Um. >> Oh, British. >> Like George Washington. [laughter] Like. George Washington. He walked around with. other people's teeth in his mouth. >> That's right. >> Poor from Washington. That's right. We. knew he was a bad man, but that was. confirmed. Uh. >> had to eat. You know what he he ate. because of his bad bad teeth? I don't. know that. >> Can I tell you? Go on. Uh he would have. tripe tripe was all he would which is.

cow's. >> really going downation isn't he. >> cow's stomach mashed up and then boiled. and this po this man who might be the. greatest American of all time through. his rotted jaw would suck tripe into his. mouth. >> that makes me feel so happy now. >> you know the worst teeth the [laughter]. worst teeth won't you forgive us no. Rammes the great the pharaoh. >> um they found his uh his mommy. >> and he'd lived to about 97 And they. inspected his jaw. And because the sand,

you know, it's Egypt, so sand gets into. the bread. >> A 90 odd years of chewing on bread had. worn down the teeth, had worn down the. gums, had exposed the nerves. >> He was pharaoh. He was, you know, one of. the greatest figures of ancient history. His, I mean, every minute would have. been excruciating agony. >> There was nothing that he could do about. nothing. So I I you know just say that. to cheer people up who may be depressed. doom. >> scrolling. Yeah. Exactly. If you're.

depressed about what's happening right. now and global warming remember there's. not sand in your bread. >> Yeah. >> Exactly. And you know and there's been. um the world has been convulsed by. terrible examples of climate change. before. Yeah. >> Um say the 6th century AD. >> um. >> possibly the worst year in human. history. Um there's a kind of great. climactic event. The world cools, the. crops fail. There's plague, there's war, everything collapses. Um, and I I again. offer that as a reassurance that things.

may seem bad now, but honestly, they. have been so much worse. >> Yeah. And I think I I go back to that. all the time is there's also a. uh this is not just a uniquely American. thing, but it's very popular in our. politics to can't we return to that. golden old time? And as a his as a as a. [clears throat] not a historian like you. gentlemen, as an amateur, I always say, "Tell me when that was existed. >> What is what is this golden time?" And. you you know, they'll try and say things.

like, "Well, you know, in the 1890s, you. know, the thing that's always recreated. when someone opens a ice cream shop and. people have arm garders and wax. mustaches and people and I think, no, >> that was no good. >> Lynching, right?". >> No, no. I mean, exactly. It's it's it's. there is no golden past. And I think. that's one of the things that. >> sustains me uh these days is I listen to. your podcast and you tell these great. stories and I I love the stories and I. learn so much but it informs how I live.

today. It informs how I read the news. It informs how I. >> take what's coming and I'm usually be. I'm usually a little I think calmer and. I work with a lot of young people who. are convinced. I I remember during co. uh uh someone who was waiting on me in a. restaurant telling me she was very. young. She was about 20 and she said. she's very sad and I said why? And she. said I'll never see a concert again. >> Oh my gosh. >> I'll never see a live concert again. because that's over now because of co. and I said no no no we we were here in.

1919. >> We've been here a bunch of times before. These happen and they go away and we. move on. You're going to see so many. concerts and so many of them are going. to be terrible. Uh [laughter]. you'll be dreaming of lockdown. >> Yeah. Yeah. Uh I have to ask you uh I. have not listened to your Rolling Stone. uh podcasts, your Satanic Majesty's. podcast. >> Beatles or stones? I just have to ask. >> Uh for me, Beatles 100%. >> Yes. Stones. >> Okay. Well, I have to tell you, Dominic, you're wrong.

>> You're wrong. >> Wrong about wrong about. >> Yeah. Mary Lincoln. >> Mary Lincoln and wrong about Look, I. love them. an amazing three chord band. But. >> you're not a bit bored of the Beatles. They're a bit ubiquitous. >> It's impossible. >> It's impossible. And look, is it their. fault that their stuff is you're. penalizing them for their being too. good? >> Incredible. Well, wrong again. Um and I. should tell you Mary Lincoln. played with the Stones for a while. [laughter]. >> Uh so you should really hate the Stones. Yeah. She.

>> She was one of Peter Paul and Mary, right? >> Yeah. She was with Peter Paul and Mary. Yes. Then she [laughter] left. Replaced. Bill Wyman for a little while as bass. player. Yeah. >> And then Mick got jealous. She was. getting all the attention. Um, yeah, that was uh I have to ask you on a. personal note, this thing has blown up. You started as a lark. You were having. fun. >> and now it's all this. >> Yeah. Mental. >> Are you enjoying I mean Tom Hanks is a. huge fan. >> will come on the podcast. I've not been. invited. Uh [laughter]. listen, I understand I understand my. place in the hierarchy. I have a small.

cameo uh in Saving Private Ryan. I'm. shot. [laughter] I'm the ninth guy to be. shot just coming right off the boat. >> What would if you could What would you. uh like talk about? >> We We'd pick a topic. You could pick a. topic with me and I will come to London. Where do you do it? Do you do it in. London? >> No, you can do it. Really? You don't. have to move? >> No, no, no. I want to be there in. person. Or do you guys do Are you. together when you do that? >> We hate each other. >> No. God, I would be terrible. >> Yeah. No, never. This is the first time. we've been together for about four. years. >> Okay. >> It's very unpleasant. >> Well, I'd like to be with one of you.

live. So with I would like to be at one. of your I'm imagining a grand estate. >> Um and uh I would like to be with one of. you in person and I would like to make. the other jealous by. >> maybe we could maybe we could talk about. why Mary Lincoln was a goodie or why the. Beatles are brilliant. >> I could do the Beatles in a second. Uh. let's do it. >> I mean I mean I would happily join you. guys anytime. Uh this has been a thrill. for me and I got to talk about about. 170th of the things that I would love to.

talk to you about. Um but so so it goes. We'll leave that for another time. If. you're not listening to The Rest is. History uh with Tom and Dominic, uh. you're a fool. Uh and and you don't and. you know what? You don't even have to be. a history buff. They're stories and. they're the best stories that ever were. and they're told by two great. storytellers and so the rest is history. Uh please give it a listen and um thank.

you to both very much for being here. >> Yeah. Thank you. >> We have something very important to. discuss right now. >> Is it important? >> It's very important. if you even. question me is um an aberration. Uh it's. abhorrent to me. Uh recently we had a. discussion about. singing popular songs on the podcast. Is. that a copyright infringement? Do we.

have to then pay off these uh these. artists or are we allowed to sing a. popular diddy? Do we have the freedom to. do that? >> And we realize there's one person we. need to talk to. >> Yep. Uh he is um a one of the loyal. troops here in the team Koko army. Uh. he's a magnificent lawyer despite never. having practiced law [laughter]. >> or graduated from law school. True. >> The Jose Royal. >> True. >> Um uh [laughter] but no one pretends to.

be a lawyer better than David Melmed. And and David, thank you very much for. being here. And I also want to say um. people really like David Melman. I mean, everyone's talking about that. We're all. big fans. You know, I'm a controversial. figure here in the building, but you are. universally very wellliked. >> And uh and so and and I thank you. >> You do terrific work for us uh in your. capacity as a fake lawyer. So, David,

let's get into it. The question is, >> can I sing songs on the podcast? Can. Sona sing songs on the podcast? Um, and. uh, and Matt Gorley, is he allowed to to. break out into a tune every now and. then? >> I'm going to give you a a lawyer answer. to that. The answer is maybe. [laughter]. >> The answer is maybe. >> Maybe. >> Maybe. And I. >> But what can you maybe I would expect. that? >> Yes. >> Um, you're rotating in your chair a lot.

nervously, David. I don't really want to. know [laughter]. how you got. Um, >> that's actually a we could actually use. that as an example right there. Okay, that's a perfect example right there. What song was that? Because the way you. were singing it was just awful. [laughter] What song was that? >> That's the Oasis song. Live Forever. >> Oh, okay. Got it. Terrific. >> So, that's a perfect example right. there. Thank you. Apparently, >> um I I think there's a there's a way to. approach these. I think music uh is. probably one of the most controversial.

sort of topics in all of Clearance, right? I think music particularly with. you Conan your love of music and um sort. of the the idea of music now in podcast. has become a hot certainly topic within. um the legal community and so now that. uh we have an example I I think the. first thing. >> if you don't get more interesting faster. [laughter]. >> I'm going to kill you. >> okay. >> it's that interesting I mean it's that. simple you have to.

>> look at all these notes. >> you have I mean look at these notes. you're not talking to the Supreme Court. It's just us. >> He is the most professional person in. this room right now. >> Yeah, I know. But that was just. dreadful. I [laughter] know. >> What? >> He let the man talk. >> I THINK. >> I DID. AND [laughter] IT WAS AWFUL. >> YES, >> IT WAS THE WORST THING THAT EVER. HAPPENED TO ME. >> I'm sorry, David. Continue. And And in. no way in no way in no way feel. constrained by what I've said or. intimidated. [laughter].

as your employer continue doing that. awful thing you were just doing. >> Exactly. This is okay. So there's a. there's a step approach to that. I think. the first thing we ask is what is the. intended use of what you are trying to. do? And I think why I ask that is a lot. of times I hear samples and they're. really terrible. I think the when I. actually ask the person what do you want. to use it for? They hear themselves say. it and they say you know what we're good. we're actually not going to use that. Once we get to step two, say, you know. what, we want to do that. Then we get to.

where do you want to use it? Where do. you want to distribute it? >> And so in that case, just I'm putting. you on the spot, Gorly. Where would you. want to use that within. >> Well, I think we're talking about this. podcast. This is this is the I think. what we're all talking about is the same. thing, which is, okay, we're having that. podcast, having a good time. Someone uh. brings up um Robert Palmer, >> and I go modest, what's that. >> you say to me? I didn't say anything. >> You just accused me of murder. [laughter]. >> I didn't say a word.

>> Okay. I did not murder that. >> Okay. What am I doing? I don't know. >> Go back to Robert Palmer. Robert Palmer. >> Okay. Let's bring up Robert Palmer. Great example. Let's bring up Robert. Palmer. And we're talking and someone. brings up Robert Palmer. And Sona says, "Wait, which one is he?" Cuz she's. younger. And I go. addicted to he's so fine. There's no. telling where the money went. And. >> what do you do now? Oh, it comes across. your desk. I don't think you have a. desk. You.

>> sit in the corner. Sit in the [laughter]. corner. You do sit in the corner. >> But when you get a real law degree, you. get a real desk. >> Thank you. >> But David, that's the example. >> That's a great example. >> They come to you and they say Conan. O'Brien joined in by Matt Gorley, uh, uh, Robert Palma song. We just did it. Do you cut it out or do you let us do. it? >> I say again, maybe. I would say let's. try to get permission to do that. I. think that is the goal here is to say do. we need permission to do that? So that. again is a difficult thing because you.

could say look we need to release this. episode next week. How are we supposed. to go to the record label? >> Yeah. Robert Robert Palmer's gone. He. has tragically passed. >> Yes, he has. And he has an estate that's. very protective of his musical work. >> And then does someone get them a sample. of us singing it and they listen to it? >> We actually would provide the sample to. them. So we because you're recording. this, right? We're recording this and we. bring it to that. Okay. Well, again, I. mean, this whole segment is a. >> I think I think it's fantastic. [laughter] Actually, I think this is.

very helpful. I think this is fantastic. So, we bring that sample to the record. label and say, "Hey, look, Conan. O'Brien, Matt Gorley, Sona would love to. use this sample on. >> I'm okay. You could leave me out.". [laughter]. O'Brien, >> she is tonedeaf. Yes. >> You don't have to look me in the sample. Yes. Now, here's my question. Would you. say this promotes Robert Palmer's. discoraphy? This. >> disparages his entire. It doesn't. It makes you think, "Oh, I.

did love that song. I don't love the way. they're doing it, but I do love that. song and I'd like to go out and um. immediately on Spotify get get the. complete Robert Palmer collection.". >> You would certainly use that argument in. a negotiation for fee, right? >> This is ridiculous. I'm just, you know, the thing is I'm not a musician who's. playing the song. I'm just saying she's. so fine there's no telling where the. money went and and then suddenly a. highly paid um pseudo lawyer.

>> uh who suspiciously tan all the time. I. don't know how you are you come in in. the middle of winter and you've. [laughter] got the deepest bronze tan. Do you use a tanning light? >> I do not. And you asked me that. >> natural. He's a handsome guy. >> You are incredibly handsome. >> Thank you. Well, you asked me that 2. years ago. >> Yeah, I know. [laughter] No, guess what? It's the last time we spoke. >> That is true. >> Until today. >> Yeah. >> You, Conan, you you you came to my. corner and you said, "Do [laughter] you. tan? Do you tan?" I would love that tan. And I said, "I don't.

>> I actually get I get outside. I have a. you know, sort of glowing.". >> You have an incredible glow. What do you. attribute that to? Uh is it your. lineage? >> Are you pregnant? >> How is this pertinent to the [laughter]. >> Can we do this? Okay. >> It's We're getting to it in a second. >> This is important. Are you a lawyer? Go. ahead. Uh, what was your question? Sorry. >> So, [laughter] the more important thing, but but David, explain explain this. golden hue you have. >> I think genetics. I think my I have. parents in their 80s that look like.

they're in their 60s. So, that's the. first. >> But what does it what is your uh genetic. makeup? I know that's probably an. incorrect question to ask these days, BUT. >> WHAT ARE YOUR GENETICS? [laughter]. >> I MUST KNOW. I I would say there there. is probably a uh sort of Middle Eastern, you know, beautiful skin. >> Absolutely gorgeous. >> But you you're you're forgetting that. these beautiful eyes, too. >> Can I say [laughter] something else? He. has he has you listen, you have salt and. pepper hair,

>> uh which is to die for. I mean, I'm. walking around with this clown dessert. on my head [laughter] and I look at you. and I'm like, he may not be a real. lawyer. He may be the only thing we. could afford, but God got to do him in a. MISSISSIPPI SECOND. >> BUT HE'S your lawyer. He is your lawyer. >> Yeah. >> All I'm saying is you can't ask about. genetics and you can't say I I want to. do you to the lawyer. [laughter]. >> Well, listen, we're actually out of. time. I'm glad we covered all the legal. questions to the music. >> I'm just going to say one thing. He's so.

fine. There's no telling where the money. went. Uh, listen. So, um, I back to the. other the initial point of this whole. thing, which is you're very. good-looking. Wait, that wasn't it. [laughter]. Back to the real point, David, which is. >> you're saying that anytime we hum any. diddy, you have to get on the phone and. try to buy the rights from some. monsters. >> Can I just Can I add last Conan, you. argued that if you hummed the worse you.

hummed it, the the more rights we would. have, right? Like if you were off with. your uh with the melody or the tone, then we would be able to use it. >> I would say for example uh famously. latigious Led Zeppelin. No one gets to. do Led Zeppelin stuff. >> But if I sing it and it's wrong, >> but everyone knows what I'm doing. Do we. still have to pay? >> You could. You could. >> You'd have to get the lyrics and the. melody wrong. Right. >> Oh, I could do the whole thing. >> Now there's a lady who knows. [laughter].

Sure. >> That's it. >> That's That's. >> those speakers are bows. >> Oh boy. >> And she's trying [laughter]. >> staircase. >> to Nirvana. >> Nirvana. >> Now that Now would I have to pay for. that? >> No way. >> Well, I wouldn't say no way. >> Why you say maybe? I would say maybe. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you. why. If you were in if you were led No. I'll tell you why. >> Ask the questions that you don't want to. hear. I don't think you want to hear.

what the answer I I say in the most. conservative way. Yes. Now there are. different exceptions you can for example. I think the use the fair use word. dimminimous use is used a ton but you've. already committed the copyright act. right so when I I I have talked to you. son about this plenty of times where and. I think I'm going to use Jeff Ross' name. he loves the word dimminimus. It's just. a little bit of use that a court would. never say you know we're not going to. litigate this. Go ahead and use it.

Conan O'Brien. He could he can do two. three seconds of that song. No, we're. not we're not gonna even go there now. >> Dominus. >> Why does Jeff love dimminimus? I haven't. heard Dominus since the Latin teacher. saw me without my pants on. Ex. >> That's what he said. [laughter] That's. what he said. That's exactly what Jeff. said. >> Pretty good, huh? Sona. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. [laughter]. That's That is what he said. >> It's not the Maximus. >> Um, quick question. Should we do a. two-parter and continue [laughter]. talking? >> Yes, we should do a two-parter because. we're out of time. Okay, we are sitting. here with our he says he's a lawyer.

We've seen no paperwork. Uh David. Melmmed, impossibly good-looking and. beloved here on staff. Stay tuned for part two.