Steve Martin & Martin Short Wrote Eulogies For Each Other | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

I didn't get a chance to tell you this. uh Steve because I guess you have caller. ID. um but. Marty took the call yeah I did and when. you guys co-hosted SNL. I watched that I mean recently yeah oh. that's the only time we've co-hosted. yeah that's right of all the time or was. it 40 years ago. um it was uh last season and you guys. did this monologue and it was over and. I've worked there I've seen thousands of.

SNL monologues over the years I cut my. teeth on that show as a young kid. watching TV and I said that is the best. Saturday Night Live monologue I've ever. seen it was perfect so you didn't like. my other monologues I did no yeah. yeah well whenever you would come out to. do a monologue on SNL. um you know everyone knew that was the. time to go get a drink yeah well here's. what use the bathroom no here's but it. was perfect it was absolute perfection. okay.

uh so that model we you know we worked. on with the writers we got some things. but we we decided we're going to do a. bit from our show so that will know we. can trust it yeah so afterwards it went. well and the ratings were Sky High was. the highest rated show of the year as. far as I know and uh I said to Marty. um Marty you know the monologue went. great and uh the ratings were high so. there's a chance we'll be asked back to. host at some other time and I said and.

before you say yes just remember we. worked on that monologue for three years. you guys had this. I know it's part of your show but. God it's a good idea the I care about. Steve and I care about Marty and it's so. much so that I've prepared the eulogy. already you know that I'm going to give. for you and you each have them on you. and you.

damn it it's funny well it's one of the. funniest things it's such a great and. the minute I hear that the minute I. heard the idea I was saying oh oh this. is a Kill Zone well the funniest line to. me is is Steve's opening line when it. goes no no no no this time for me to. talk remember narcissism is just within. your thing no. no pre-story to that and then you can. say that well first of all I was going. to do your line so you might as well. keep talking no no you do the line I'm.

just saying that. I had this idea that we would do this. eulogy but I couldn't get I said I just. don't know how it starts I don't know. you know there'll be some jokes or. something and then actually a writer. send in and and this line so it would be. me so you be me speaking so the lights. come down and it says remembering Marty. and Steve's opening line is. Gene not much of a turnout. but it enabled the whole piece because.

we could get into it with the first. laugh right yeah right right it is uh. it's funny too because. I love it occasionally you get someone. who thinks why are they being mean to. each other yeah and and that always. drives me crazy the funniest thing to me. is when you know we're doing our thing. and he'll say something I'll say. something and you'll hear someone in the. audience go whoa. I remember one time being on Conan show.

and you know I insulted them a great. deal and then I went to the next I was. on I went to YouTube to see what jokes. I'd done and I read the comments below. and people would say you know he. shouldn't talk Conan that way if Conan. wanted to he could take him apart. that's a fun person to have dinner with. I know why are you making jokes. [Laughter]. when I was first doing the Late Night.

show we did a piece where you know the. most beloved one of the most beloved. people at the time was Mary Lou Retton. the gymnast and she's you know small and. cute and she won all these gold medals. and everyone loves her and we did a. pre-tape bit. where I think Andy says I'm saying I. think I'm getting the hang of this late. night the hosting thing and goes Andy. goes like you know you could yeah but. the other night I thought you you were a. little off and I said I don't know what. you're talking about he we cut to a. pre-tape of me just losing it on Mary. Lou Retton and I'm screaming at her.

fully committed and we showed that. audience laughs. I think the next day or the day after. that I go on Stern. Howard Stern he takes calls and someone. calls in. I saw the other night. and you your behavior towards Mary Lou. Retton was atrocious I don't think. you're funny that was awful the way you. spoke to her that's I mean I can't. believe you didn't recognize my voice.

reminds me of a. reminds me of a story I don't know if. these are like older elderly stories but. Mike Nichols you know was married to uh. is was married to Diane Sawyer and he. was you know he was a hilariously funny. guy and he would he would say things. like um uh that invite him to a party he. said well I'll have to run by the ball. and chain so he would call Diana's ball. and chain as a joke so then and I think.

it was uh Vogue yeah they said evidently. Mike Nichols refers to his wife as the. ball and chain yeah you know it's a. negative thing so he wrote them a letter. which I think they published but said I. realize that humor to your editors is. like a cross to a vampire. hahaha.