Sona Teaches Conan & Gourley Turkish Swear Words | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

hey there welcome to Conan O'Brien needs. a friend and no. Sona was not just punching me before she. fled back to her chair you swatted her. elbow first yeah you did you scooted. over no I was trying to help her she. seemed unsteady I was helping her adjust. herself in her seat no oh oh okay I. didn't realize I think you're just angry. I was talking about how many cups you. had yeah it was a narc over here that's. right yeah get ready this guy's working. listen there was some Shenanigans just. before the podcast started maybe uh I.

took a swing at sewn his shoulder yeah. slightly missed it and then she needed. to retaliate and then of course teacher. teacher I saw what happened I did see. what happened from Mr Matt gorley I did. and I tell the truth I appreciate it. you're a truth teller no one asked you. you my big. here are the three things that went.

through my head RoboCop style like I had. a readout of options it was my big baby. my big daddy and my big gay boy. I'm none of those things you're none of. those things I'm not saying this is like. good or right or healthy. I have a problem I like that this. seconds ago I was taking a swing at Sona. and she was returning Fire by swatting. at me and then you end up the villain am. I the villain or am I just the. Misunderstood genius I appreciate it I'm.

looking it up right now and no villain. and fool okay big giggy oh man you're. just the worst well it's it's faulty the. machine the wiring's off but someday. it'll get there uh I do love I used to. love when people would get really angry. and try to. yell at someone and swear but not be. able to pull it off yeah and I knew. people that would do that I know someone. in particular I won't name them but. they'd be like. [Music]. [Laughter].

fuckler and they just couldn't put. it together that's my that's me. how damn you. man. yeah it's just so easy to curse let's. see it go ahead Jesus piece of. dick you're just a big. sandpaper baby who's got little feet and. don't even know who cheek people are.

that's a good one and and the fact that. you don't know who cheek people are is. your worst quality yeah yeah yeah go buy. some lips you reach around yeah. what okay you know what it doesn't now. you're on fire okay you started out I. mean good Lord yeah you didn't have it. it works yeah now it's fantastic yeah uh. no but Sona you are very good I've seen. Sona get mad many times. um and uh and often I have to say not at. me just at random people and uh you are.

a terrific at swearing I am great. you are uh you are concise yes they. explode out of your face these these. curses is this the way you grew up no. because your parents would be horrified. that I'd be cursing they're nice that's. why I got good at it. that's why because my mom didn't want me. to to curse and so I was like well I'm. gonna show you I'm gonna curse the. person yeah yeah well good for you I'm. good thank you so much you overcame your.

obstacles my dad no joke cursed a lot. and I'm wondering why that's why I'm bad. at cursing because I never got to. exercise that muscle I have a specific. memory which is uh my father you know. there wasn't much swearing in our house. occasionally our you know right there'd. be there wasn't there wasn't much. swearing at our house occasionally okay. that's nice wait I'm I'm being serious. cursing what are you talking about youth. Irish no the Irish curse means we have. small penises uh not that Irish makes. more sense yeah please that's the Irish.

curse okay all right I mean I've been. looking for mine for years oh man I mean. give me a map. what were you gonna say uh no we're. gonna stick on this theme now I've used. ways to find it hey okay no we could we. could go somewhere else it's fine it's. solid C plus anyway uh you dropped your. penis it's at the bottom of that tequila. bottle. so anyway no no I grew up in a very. proper house my mother really didn't. want.

um you know swearing and there wasn't a. lot of swearing really none at all and. then I'll never forget I had my uh my. room was up in the attic I lived up. there with my brother Neil and my sister. Kate. and we were there were so many of us. they they they they said okay some of. you were going up to the attic and it. was pretty clear who was headed up there. so I'm at the end of the attic now what. I remember you're saying you didn't draw. straws oh no no we didn't draw straws it. was you three U three up into the attic.

now uh and we'll send a plate of food. and you can figure out who gets it there. was plenty of space a lot of empty. bedrooms tons of rooms boarding houses. we had a a we had a car on a revolving. display on the second floor that's so. much extra room we had 1975 Buick. Skylark there was just so much extra. room but anyway so I'm up there and I'm. in my bedroom and it's dark out and all. I remember is my father was coming up. and he was trying to uh he was trying to.

find something and it was very late and. my sister Kate was not in her room at. the time and I think they were doing. some work in that room and all I know is. that there was a bunch of junk in there. including a big bed frame that was. jutting out at a weird angle and so I'm. in my bed and I'm just about to fall. asleep and my closet connected to my. sister's closet like you could walk from. one right through to the other so there. was yeah it was just a a way for my.

sister to escape or for me to escape uh. it's the kind of house we lived in. anyway but I'm I'm not lying it they did. connect it was just an opening and you. could walk right into the other room and. so uh it's dark out and I'm just kind of. falling asleep and my father comes up. the stairs and he's looking for. something in Kate's room but it's dark. and all of a sudden I hear this. unmistakable sound of his shin hitting. the iron bed frame that's jutting out in. the darkness and I hurt.

oh. every single swear you could ever. imagine oh you're censoring yourself but. he didn't well I like it's funnier to me. that it's just it's I remember it it was. so jarring and so traumatic I remember. it as. and I heard every swear that's ever been.

invented from this like you know very. brilliant uh scientist he learned it all. in one film oh in one I mean if I had a. recorder running I'd have had them all. yeah it's like yep he got every single. one. and uh I remember just pulling the. pulling the blanket over my head oh my. god did you did he have like colloquial. swords because my dad for some reason. had his own like jazz swear lingo where. he would go God damn it anyway and God. damn it all make sure you damn it every.

single way you can and all of it and he. would like but what is God damn it. anyway mean anyway God damn it just. completely takes the power away God damn. it anyway. he put up the Christmas tree and it. wouldn't work and God I love this man. and I love him for this but he'd be like. God damn it anyway God damn it all and. these were just like I don't know if. they were like passed down through the. family or what but I now will stub a toe. or something and like I have to stop. myself from going God damn it anyway I.

think that's why I go to like you're a. cheek people yeah or a tooth lover I. don't know I just want to get away from. I want to stop the cycle we had a lot of. uh ethnic uh cursed words you know like. a lot of Turkish ones yeah my well one. of my oh this is bad for people who. actually know what I'm saying they're. bad but like one was like. or you know pezivinka shake things like. that those are the things my dad said. when he hit his shin he was Turkish my.

dad's Turkish oh my God. one was all on your dad's soul and. my dad was saying that to people and. sometimes like you know he'd do it I'll. on your dad's soul that is. fantastic turkey. is like a like a pimp or 60 it is like. it or yeah you know. a son of a donkey you know it's yeah.

it's it's not fine I mean whatever but. I'll on your dad's Soul yeah that. should they should win the Olympics yeah. graphic and poetic yeah it's like. figurative yeah it is also very gross. and I think of the show The Soul as. being ethereal like the would drop. through it but no this is proof that the. soul has some viscosity but what if the. only way you could materialize a soul is. to on it and you find like you know. when you pour paint on the Invisible Man. right if you on the soul you can.

trap a soul right yeah check your toilet. bowl next time make sure there's. nobody's soul in there. oh no I just flushed grandma oh man well. she's going to a better place uh don't. on Grandma's Soul. she's going to a better place the water. salinization plants. Yeah in our house it was all Jesus Mary. and Joseph I mean it was all Catholic. yeah stuff and um and so it didn't.

really it was just more of a prayer more. of a litany your grandma didn't swear oh. my God no my grandma Marty who lived. with us I didn't I don't know why didn't. I swear people are just they sweat they. swear no you're thinking of pirates no. you're. no my Irish grandmother was the most she. was a very well-educated school teacher. and she lived with us and she would say. oh Moses oh Moses that was the and she. would say it all the time like what's. wrong Maddie nothing.

you just good night. bad news too she loved something. terrible happened oh tell me tell me and. she would love because the Irish love. bad news so once it was her birthday and. so I said hey Marty happy birthday and I. jumped off the top steps of our stairway. and pretended to get hurt because I. thought that would make her happy happy. birthday and I jumped and then I was. like did you like that he thought it was.

hurt for a second oh Moses thank you. thank you well anyway this was a very. educational I think yeah Sona I will. never on your soul oh that's really. nice wait thinking no I won't oh okay. well we'll see how it goes today.