Sona Is Pissed At Conan | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

they're not good bits just because you. say they're good bits when I say. somebody's a good bit it's a good bit no. it's no one laughs that means it's not. very good good bit no. silence no one's doing. anything oh almost almost don't do. [Applause]. it welcome to con O'Brien needs a friend.

hey welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a. friend and this is a great way to start. any episode because just as we counted. down I looked at a little table that's. between Sona and I and I saw that she. had her chapstick there and she was. really enjoying blowing on her tea so I. picked up the Chapstick tossed it and it. went right into her tea and the place. exploded in joy and of course Sona. miserable and then you said we're here.

and that's what we're starting on too. good not to kick it off yeah that's a. great we should kick off every episode. with me just having thrown something. unhygienic into your tea come on man no. I think that's a bad idea first of all. you tried this well you know it's a. giant water paper yeah thank you it's an. audio medium I did this you're like a. mime and then I did. this uh I got I'm just mad I don't know. how to re better I that was fantastic.

the Chapstick went right into it made a. satisfying clink and then a splash oh. yeah you happy about that I I'm not. unhappy okay oh you should try and can. you isolate the sound of it going in I. think I think I can I think the mics. were hot Eduardo exactly let's play that. now see if you can hear. it yeah that's cool oh that's fantastic. what a great that's ASMR yeah and. also um you're still going to use that. lip that lip balm aren't you well I'm. going to use the Chapstick but I can't. drink my tea why not because of all the. ger that are on that chapstick that's a.

hot tea all the germs are dead that. doesn't that's not how it work and the. germs on the Chapstick that you put on. your lips yeah it's on the tube outside. that's why there's a lit. Gorly wow oh so when you walk around not. even when you walk around and you see. like dog on the sidewalk you take. out your Chapstick and you just roll it. around in the dog what are you. doing that's so toxic interior of the. Chapstick touches so many different. surfaces and it's picking up what are. you doing with your Chapstick yeah it's.

everywhere it's on this table what was. on this table why are you shouting. because I'm so angry right now because I. really wanted to drink that tea but you. can still drink the tea it's fine I. promise you it's fine you won't get sick. or anything the tea is fine how would. what are you why are you acting like no. thing father is a microbiologist. microbiologist would you some Marco my. father my father is Marco. Polo father drink you drink my tea I. would happily drink your tea and I'll. use chapstick pass it over use my.

Chapstick I'm going to use your. Chapstick and then drink your tea don't. use my Chapstick I don't know about your. lips now you can't use it God I hope you. get my herpes I really do I really do I. wish I had an outbreak right now I would. kill for herpetic. sores then I get some sympathy from the. chiz Community you two are disgusting. human. beings come on oh stirring the tea with. the. Chapstick oh my God.

God uh let me see if I can recreate that. sound oh oh almost how did I miss it it. was inches away I held it you know. what's crazy I swear to God I held it an. inch from an open wide mouth gigantic. cup and I swear to God it's here we. go oh that's a lovely sound you love. ruining things for me don't leave it in. there oh let's fun it's like a little. boat come on my God any way uh Sona te's.

not good for you that's. all what same with chapstick yeah it'll. kill you um what do you guys you guys. don't know anything my dad's a Marco by. buer thanks for sticking up for me of. course he knows his dad's a mro m do. bogonovich. [Laughter]. uhoh I hate this place God you know what. when Sona Force laughs like that that. means she really is mad seems like it. are you really mad no I could have.

another tea brought in here by David I. don't no do not make David bring in tea. for me no don't do it don't do it I. won't allow I won't not I will not take. tea that David brings me why because. we're pier and it just weird Pier he's. your replacement you still are above him. in the chain of things that's not true I. can't him what you could if you told me. David's got to go he'd be gone like that. can I fire David can I fire can fire. David yeah D where is David.

try it and see if it works David try. firing him yeah tell me see if it works. yeah see if it works David come on in. here David David David you better have. tea and they're going to pull this up. what you know what David pack your. up you're done here I'm so sorry. okay you can assist Conan no no no. please come back please come back David. quick question you are the assistant. that was hired because Sona was no. longer really assisting me that much W. okay I want maternity leave well. whatever I had babies I had twin babies.

I still don't buy this whole maternity. excuse but. anyway only only two babies at once and. you get time off I think three babies at. once should get you out of work but. anyway David um the question Sona said. that she can't ask you to get her tea I. ruined her tea I don't know if do you. even listen to the podcast when you're. out there I had other things what were. you doing I was talking to Paula and. Gina okay that's really important things. about like calar like your pod bookings.

so anyway um uh I brought you in here. for it to be fun and interesting and. that was awful uh I well it's like you. have a lot of dates coming where you're. busy that's okay I'm very busy working. on it popular celebrity anyway um. definitely a list or top b list a b b a. b Rising anyway I ruined sona's tea by. throwing a ChapStick into it well that. wasn't nice it's kind of funny think. about it again and then think about your. job that's he is so anyway and then uh I.

said well just David will get you. another tea cuz she doesn't want to. drink this tea and then uh she said I. can't do that and I said why not and she. said because David's AER and I honestly. don't I think you're great David you're. amazing but I do stop there no no I. think Son thank you so much isn't Sona a. click above you yeah no I don't think so. do you think that Sona could fire you no. no I don't think you know I'm thinking. about it now I don't no if sonas called. you up and said you're out and don't and. lose sona's number I would call you then.

you'd call me and you'd be rehired. immediately you're right Sona can't fire. I can't fire but also um he's your he's. your assistant so why would he be. bringing me tea I would bring you a tea. as like a friend yeah you can ask people. as a friend yeah but I could just wait. and then go get myself te this tea is. seriously fine it had a ChapStick. floating in it but it's not like the. Chapstick was contaminated have a big. problem with that with just foreign. objects Landing in my drinking bever I. remember this from New York when son. refused to ride in a New York Cab.

because she said anyone can have sat in. those seats and I was thinking what are. you talking about you when you travel. the world you're constantly getting in. transportation and sitting on things. where someone else has sat she said they. were covered in jizz I believe was the. actual yeah lot lot of other things a. lot of fluids yeah but the good thing. about jiz is it forms a protective. coating when it hardens oh yeah what. it's like a like a shell most sneeze. guards are made out of dried jiz that's. true God that's a true fact that's true.

yeah come on yeah they use them that's. porn runoff and then they Harden and. they cut them into sheets and they're. used as sneeze guards porn run off yeah. they have little channels in the floors. when they shoot porn and it collects all. the extra semen and then that's laid out. in sheets it dries it's cut into sheets. and then it's made into Snee in the. they're in the condoms that's where the. jizz is no that's why during Co so many. plexiglass things were in need and the. porn industry just Rose okay oh all. right we're doubling down on it but it's. but it's it just isn't clear some.

Churches have mistakenly used a stained. glass window I'm just I went too far but. what I'm saying is it can be used as a. glass uh and it should be recycled let's. have a happy healthy Earth I'm also. taking an Uber home today so I mean. Ubers are basically taxis now yeah so it. just kind of I don't know for some. reason Ubers I'm like yeah it's cool. it's like my friend's car and then taxis. I'm. like. so sorry to cut off Your Story by. enjoying this wonderful you know what. and I have chap I don't wear chapstick.

and you think you can tell because my. teeth are like just shredded old snakes. your teeth what do your teeth got to do. with my teeth youp speak I do I really. enjoy it I love when you say the wrong. thing must be really fun to watch to. watch a man's brain Decay and then two. years from now when I'm gone yeah and. neurologists are saying you could watch. the whole thing fall apart when you. listen when you listen to the podcast. you can see it all happen and and you're. laughing it's funny and Li is there. weeping she would be laughing we would.

all be laughing we'd be like remember. when he said teeth instead of lips and. we would laugh remember when he said. accused you of having public display of. affection but he called it a PDF I don't. remember that do you remember Bleak 187. that was me no it was him but I think I. said it was me and then it got written. in history that way yeah no no it was me. but I just think blink 187 is an. improvement you know it's come on no I. just knock it up a few numbers you.

know can I just say last week Conan. asked me where his sunglasses were and. they were in his hand oh my God see what. I'm saying is if if there's a. neurologist listening or macr. monologist yes my father is a Marco Polo. barology if you're listening and you are. this is your field I do think that I. must speak more than I used to and I. think that there could be an issue here. and everyone's laughing and later on. David you're going to feel pretty pretty.

bad didn't have a neurologist on to. discuss this very thing like someone. called in I don't know I forget oh no oh. no is this how you asked for medical. advice instead of just going to a. neurologist you're like hey any. listeners can you guys just listen toing. free. medical I could just go down to the. hospital and get it checked but instead. I'm going to ask a bunch of strangers. checking your credential I also want a. pair of bootleg.

jeans I want them with a gold Stitch. come on let's get on it people.