“Seinfeld” Writer Carol Leifer On The Origin Of The Marble Rye | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

you have a successful stand-up career, but then you have this pedigree as a. writer which is just off the charts. When when do you start to realize, okay, I I love standup. I love doing. standup, but I want to be in that room. I want to be in the writer room. Well, I got my um break to write on SNL. This is. What year? What year would that be? 85 to 86. Okay. What is affectionately or disaectionally. called the weird year? Yeah. Yeah.

You know, with um the strange cast, Robert Downey Jr., Randy Quaid, but um. Al Franken. Anthony Michael Hall. Yeah. Yeah. And um Al Franken and Jim. Downey came to the comic strip to. audition comics and um they saw me and. they said, "Would you like to, you know, we'd like you and we'd like to see if. you want to write on the show." I was. like, "Absolutely." He said, "Oh, you. just have to meet Lauren." So, I was. like all set for this meeting and had my. all my answers prepared, you know, for.

like a serious sit down business. meeting. It was literally he was. auditioning people, Lauren, at this. rehearsal space. He came out for two. seconds and he said to me, "Uh, I don't. do a good Lauren. Uh, you know, Jim, and. I'll say you're very good." And, uh, you. know, sometimes you have to stay up late. at the show. I was like, "Yeah." He. went, "Okay, thanks." That was my big. interview. Wow. But you passed, I guess. So, yeah. Um, like if I had. said, I really don't like staying up. I like to be in bed by 8:00.

Yeah, that's going to interfere with my. routine. Um, and so I wrote that year and I. really enjoyed it, but I really wanted. to go back to standup. So, I did. But. then um strangely out of the blue in uh. 93. Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld called me. together. So I knew at that time there. was something odd about that because I. would talk to each of them separately on.

a landline but calling me together. seemed weird. They were in one spot. [Laughter]. Yeah. And they were like you know do you. want to ride for Seinfeld? And I was. like, uh, yeah. Yeah. And, um, you know, it was great because. my inexperience is the thing that got me. the job because they, you know, didn't. want people who'd written on sitcoms. before because, as Larry referred to it, you know, they were poisoned by the.

system. So, he wanted people who'd never. written on sitcoms before. So, what was. your first writing job? It was not necessarily the news. Oh, wow. And a woman named Pat Lee. Uhhuh. gave me I know of her. Yes. Yeah. She she uh hired Greg and I got us. into the guild. It. was our first show. Uh and. we worked like maniacs and I have such. clear memories and I'm always passing. Sunset Gower Studios and I always have. the same flashback to Greg and I. We. took a overnight flight. Uh it was.

cheap. It was I think called People. Express where you could like fly. Do you. remember people. of China? Yeah. People People Express was a. literally uh you could for like $40 you. could fly across the I mean something. insane and um obviously it was a whole. other world before 9/11. Uh you I mean. you just would buy your ticket at the. counter. You'd get on the plane, no. frrills. We flew overnight. I remember.

my writing partner Greg Daniels put a. blanket over his head to try and go to. sleep cuz the seats didn't go back. So. he was sitting upright. He looked like a. a bad kid's ghost sitting next to me. Um, and uh we landed, we got this really. cheap rental car and we drove to Sunset. Gower Studios and walked in and said, "We're here to work for television. I have acne." That's where it started. But um it was a show that at least had. it was pre-tapes and it wasn't we.

weren't writing four characters and it. wasn't all these shows that I really. despised. It was it was sketch comedy. that I thought okay this is this is. respectable. We can do this. uh with an eye towards hoping to get a. job with Letterman which didn't work out. but um. so you get this call. Yeah. and to work for Seinfeld. And you. write an episode that coincidentally. I've been we were displaced by the fire. Our house is okay, but they it has to be.

desmoked, detoxed. And so my wife and I have been living uh. in this little uh apartment kind of. rental apartment with a kitchenet at the. hotel. You're at the Oakwood, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah. Great. A great place to meet. a single pregnant woman. uh who's going through a bad divorce. Um. but uh every night we don't have our. regular television. We just, you know, we don't have um Apple TV or Mac or. anything. So we're just coming through.

and we always land on Seinfeld. Oh, nice. And we watch Seinfeld. And I watched. your Rye episode. Ah, yes. Marble Ry three nights ago. I. watched the Marble Rye episode. and um remembered that you had written. that episode which is one of my. favorites. Oh, thank you. If you don't recall, I think it's. George's. fiance. Mhm. Uh George is going George Castanza is. going over to eat with the fiance and he. brings his parents who of course. humiliate him, you know. Um the great uh.

Jerry Stiller and the actress, I can't. remember the actress's name who plays. Estelle Harris. Estelle Harris and uh. they come over and they're just they. bring a marble rye and then they notice. that these waspy uh parents of their. future in-law don't eat the marble rye. So Jerry Stiller takes it back and then. that couple realizes the Waspy couple. realizes that the marble rye has been. taken back and they're uh they're. enraged and then the whole episode is.

about how do we get the ride back into. the apartment which is a great great. idea for an episode. Where did you get. that idea? It was crazy because, you. know, um, a lot of times people come up. to you when you write on a hit show like. that and they're like, "Something really. funny happened to me and you're like, oh. boy, here we go." You know, and it's. like, uh, Betty's egg salad was in the. fridge at work and somebody took it, you. know, and it's like, oh boy, here we go. But a friend of mine from high school.

was like, I had the funniest thing. happen. um this couple came over and. brought a bread and um we didn't put it. out and um they wanted to take it back. and I knew when I went in to Larry's. office, Larry and Jerry, you would pitch. to them one-on-one. Um if Larry liked an. idea, he would get so ecstatic. You know. what I mean? When I pitched that, he was. like, "I love it. I love it. We're doing. that. Yeah, that we're doing that." And. he would be like that about certain.

ideas, you know, like Elaine thinks the. Korean manicurist are talking about her. behind her back in Korean. Like, yes. Yes. You know, he could just he knew it's like he had a. divining rod. Like, yes, there's water. there. I know there's water there. Yeah. Exactly. You know, conversely, if you. pitched, and this was a lot of times. ideas that he they didn't like, he would. kind of do this thing with his arm and. go, "Yeah, I don't know." It's called. angina. He was having a heart attack. Um, you.

know, or he would, you know, the biggest. put down was I could I could see that on. another show and it would be like, oh. But, um, and then when you have an idea. like you like like that, in thinking. about it, I was also thinking about. Kramer and loving Costco because I loved. Costco. Still do. Um, yeah. You can get so much of something. Yes. Yes. And that he bought so much. beeferoni. Yeah.

Um that he started feeding it to his. handsome cab horse. Yes. Which eventually gave him a lot of. flatulence. Yes. Yes. Ruining the night out for this this. waspy couple. By the way, I always. thought the there's a lot of genius. behind the show Seinfeld, but I always. thought the casting was impeccable, not. just of the main characters, but of the. smaller characters. And I went out of my. way because every time George's uh. fiance's parents are on the show,

they're spectacular. So I look them up. It's Grace. Zabriskitch and Warren Frost. Yeah. And I just wanted to give a shout out to. the universe. The character acting they. do on that episode. on and and other episodes as well. the. one where the cabin burns down is. they're impeccable. They're fantastic. Really, really great. You know, just unbelievable. Yeah, the guest casting was amazing. And.

what was great about then them as bosses. um for the writers was you could be. involved in every step of the process. You know, you were involved in casting. and um you know, now that I work on. shows, people send in tapes, which is. horrible. You know, it was so great when. people would walk in the room and they. go, "Hey, where's the hot seat?" You. know, and they'd sit down and you get a. vibe off of them and you could also see. how nervous they were in front of people. instead of self taping at home. But, um,

you'd be part of the casting, you'd be. part of everything. So, editing and all. that. And a lot of times writers don't. have that opportunity on shows. So, um, that was really great. And to cast these. smaller roles and people that just took. off, you know. Yeah. And even like the regulars like like the. tennis episode I did with um Marley. Matlin, the lireeder, you know, it's like what are the four. stories going to be? You know, um and.

you know, for Kramer for that, you have. a tennis episode. Well, he's got to be a ball boy. Yeah. And then, you know, that's going to be. funny. You know, we called him the ball. man. And then, you know, he was. rehearsing. You know, Michael would. rehearse these physical things over and. over. People just thought he just did it. automatically. He would really rehearse. it. And, you know, he just rehearsed as. a ballman the entire week. You work on a show like that. I think. it's an immersive experience. I thought.

I've said the same thing about Saturday. Night Live where you're not just a. writer. There's the old idea of the. writers are off in a separate building. Yeah. And it's there's no light. the shades. are drawn. They're just in there coming. up with this and they're they're treated. sort of with contempt and then the. scripts come out and then the director, the producers, the actors make it and no. one ever goes near the writer building. And I always thought a great gift that. Lauren gave all of us was even if you. had only been working there for a week.

and it sounds like the same thing that. that uh Larry and Jerry would do, which. is no, you're in. you're in charge of everything. If it's. your sketch or if it's your episode, you're in on the whole thing, which. opens you to the world of casting, props, when should we see things, how. should we see things, maybe go talk to. the director. Yeah. Um, make sure you don't cross any lines, do it tactfully, but. you're in charge of the whole thing. because it's your baby. And that invests.

you with. great sense of responsibility. You try so much harder. Exactly. because also, you know, your. ass is on the line if something goes. off. So, you do have that sense of. responsibility. um with an episode, which is great. You. know, the saddest thing to me is that um. I'm a big collector, so I took the We. couldn't use beeferoni for some reason. It's beeferino. Yes. Yeah. Um they made us change the name. So, I.

had the can that the prop guy came up. with for Beeferino and I had it in my. apartment on uh Flores in West Hollywood. and then when I moved I forgot to take. it, you know, move it away and the guys. thought it was just an empty can and. they tossed it. I know. Yeah. It's I mean, it's the fact that I'm here today. I. mean, it's it's not the snow globe from. Citizen Cane, but it's close.

The beeferino can, you know, someone's. going to find it and it's going to go. It's long after you and I are gone. Someone's going to find it. It's going. to be auctioned off for like $600,000. Oh, come on. More than that. Okay. All right. I mean, it's the. future. Well, you're right.