Ryan Reynolds (FULL EPISODE) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

[Music]. Hi, my name is Ryan Reynolds and I feel. filendous. Oh my god. About being Conan O'Brien's friend. Little who's Harry Crumb reference there. for you. Filidendrris. Look it up. Look it up. I believe he says Filidendrin, but that. didn't work. So, you changed it to filerendras. Correct. You know what you are? Uh, yes. And I'm sorry. You're a son of a Oh, I am.

Hey there, and welcome to Conan O'Brien. needs a friend. And I do. I need a. friend. It's never too late to become my chum. Joined uh by Sona Obsessian. How are. you, Sona? Good to see you. I'm not I'm doing all right. You're doing okay. Yeah. And uh Matthew Gorley. Hi. Uh, and Sona, quickly, uh, we should address the fact. that you did lose your house in the. fire, but you've you guys have found a. new place that you might be moving into.

We have. Yeah. In fact, I was there. yesterday for an inspection and I ran. into a really nice man named Richard. walking his dog. and he said, "I usually listen to you. while I'm walking my dog." And Yeah. And. I was like, "I get to live by a fan.". That's nice. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, it is nice. Yeah. Well, you you hesitated for a. second. No, I mean like you know, um there's a. lot of people. It's good. It's good. It's a good thing. Like I He's really nice and it's a. really nice place and I'm excited not to.

live at my mom and dad's house. Yeah, that sounded like I mean I love. your mom and dad. Um but it can be. difficult to uh live with your parents. Yes. Not meant to at a certain point. Nope. I'm guessing uh is it Nadia? Is it your. mom who can kind of she can wear on you. a little bit sometimes, you know? Yeah, she can. Yeah, you know, and she means well. She's got she's. well-intentioned. They they are unbelievably so nice to. let us stay there, but they also they. watched a lot of Turkish soap operas.

What? Yeah, it's like all day. I mean, not all. day, but it's like a lot of Turkish tell. because they're from Turkey. They're. Armenian. It's important to note that, but they're from Turkey. But wait a minute. Where do you where. does one get cuz I'm constantly looking. for Turkish soap opers? I got a guy. You need some. Do you really? You know what's up? YouTube. Oh, so they watch them on YouTube. Yeah. Do you follow the stories? No, I don't watch it with them. I'm I'm. in my room watching TV on a on my laptop. like. You're watching The Pit or something.

like. I got really into The Pit lately. Yeah. Um would you do you ever I mean I'd just. be curious what happens in a Turkish. soap opera. They're the same kind of. model as every soap opera everywhere. It's just, oh, it's Turkey. I think the lighting is different. They're all gorgeous and have beautiful. skin. And then they uh Eduardo, you have. to jump in. Very dramatic. I'm only familiar because my mom watches. a Turkish nolla. It's basically a. Turkish soap oper, but the Spanish. channels have put subtitles and there's.

people speaking in Spanish over them. And and I asked her where they were from. and she's like, "Oh, it's in Turkey.". So, they're popular, I guess. Yeah. There's certain countries that. have dominated like Korean soap operas. are legit, too. My mother-in-law watches those. Really? And in in my travel shows, whenever we. can, I try to do a local soap opera. And. we've done them in a bunch of countries, and I cannot tell you how many times. someone from Mexico has said I look. familiar to them,

you know, or they know, they kind of. know who I am, but they're not sure. And. I say, "I'll show you who I am." And I. call up when I was on the Tel Nolla. Yeah. Um in uh that was in the Mexico City. episode. And I show it to them. And uh. they always enjoy it cuz I'm speaking. Spanish the whole time. My version of. Spanish. Yeah. And I love it cuz I have a mustache. Oh yeah. You always have a mustache. I always try and have a mustache and try. and exude authority. But I love being in.

foreign soap operas. And I realized I. haven't done a Turkish soap opera. I'd. love to be in one. Yeah. Yeah. No, you don't seem thrilled about. You could do it. I Well, you could do. it. I did an Armenian show. Yeah, you did. What was it? A crime show? I played a. crime boss. You played a You played a crime boss. First of all, they tried to make you. look Armenian and it did not work. That's right. I don't know what they did. to me, but they like painted dark. wrinkles on me or something. They put dark eyebrows and then they put. a dark wig on you.

Yes. On the palest man in the world. Yes. They gave me jet black curly hair. and a crazy eyebrows. and I'm a drug lord. Yeah. And you just want guys to beat up. another person. Yes. And I had to say it in Armenian. which was very remember your line. No, I don't remember. Or which means enough. they were beating him up and I said. enough. And then you had a cigar in your I had a. cigar in my mouth and I just sort of was. trying to be like the Tony Soprano of.

Yeravan Armenia. But I have to say um done it uh in the. in the new Max series uh for the second. season. I I'm Yes. I did a medical. drama. Oh. Uh like their version of The Pit. Yeah. Uh I did a medical drama. It was in New. Zealand. And um I'm really excited for. that to come out because I had to know. all of this. They gave me an impossible. amount of medical jargon cuz I think.

they really wanted me to up badly. Did you do American accent or New. Zealand? Uh I didn't do I didn't attempt the. accent. I did not. So sorry for that. But I think I did. nail. the uh the medical jargon. Do you remember your lines? No, I don't remember my lines. Do you guys Did you guys ever watch. American soap operas? I did for a summer or two. Me, too. Yeah. My friend once lied to us when we. were like 12 and said she made out with. Austin Peek from Days of Our Lives and. we believed her. So, we watched Days of.

Our Lives and then we found out she. didn't ever make out with Austin at the. time. She was like 14. Oh, so he'd be under arrest. But we didn't like think of it that way. We're like, "Oh my god, she made out. with Austin Peek." But she just lied to. us. Just blatantly lied to us. And we. believed her. And we all got into Days. of Our Lives to support the guy that she. made out. to support him. But wait, so how old was he at the time? He must have been in his 20s. I had no. idea. He had no idea who she was. What an interesting So she just stuck.

with this line. Just lied about it. No, that broke everything up. I wonder. how a lot of stuff. She also lied. She. said she was a model and we were like, "You're 52, but okay." Like we believed. everything she said. I don't believe. I wish I had known you then cuz you were. very gullible. Yeah. No. Hey, can you give me some money? I'm an. ATM and I ran out. Okay, you don't look like an ATM. I don't remember having to put cash into. an ATM, but okay. I guess they do have. to be restocked. But you do have arms.

and legs and a head. Well, anyway, I'm a. baby that only eats wallets. They're just so gullible. We really It. wasn't just me. It was like my friend. group. But did you're uh unfailingly honest. You didn't lie. No. What do you mean lie about me? You're you're a very honest person. So. there are kids that will just say stuff. like my brother Neil growing up. He went to a different school than I did. and he would come home and he would just. I'd say, "What did you learn today?" And. he'd say, "Oh, today we learned." And.

then he would just tell me things that. were completely untrue. And I was just a. little kid. So I believed him. Yeah. And you'd take them back to school. thinking you knew some stuff. Yeah. Say my brother said. like he's so cool. Yeah. He told me, "Oh, today we learned. that there's a hole that they found like. in the earth and they lowered a camera. in it and it went to the center of the. earth and they took a couple of pictures. with it." Um, then they felt it tugging. on the line and they pulled it up and it. the camera was all mangled, but they. were able to develop the film and they. could see a T-Rex charging. And I was.

like, "What?" And he went, "Yeah, proof. that there's a T-Rex at the center of. the Earth." And Neil's a couple years. older than me and knew better. Oh, Neil did this. This is Neil. No, no. Luke was always like a priest. He was. just really good and like, well, I. wouldn't tell an untruth. Neil would. just with me all the time. He told me so many lies and still does. I talked to him every day. He's always. Did you do that though to Justin? No, I didn't. No, no, I didn't lie to. Justin. I would Justin was 10 years.

younger than me. He was a little kid. And so what I did to Justin was just. broke his mind um with strange games. So. he just wanted to play cops and robbers. And I would say, "Oh, yeah, I told you. this, right?" And I would just tangle. him up in paperwork. You drew your pistol. You drew your. pistol. And he'd be like, "What? You. drew your pistol. There's paperwork.". And I would get pads of paper from my. dad's office. You need to fill out these. fill out forms. It's a bureaucracy. That's a big part of being a cop. That's worse than what Neil did to you.

I think. my neighbor uh saw The Shining before I. did and told me about it, recounted it, and completely lied about it. And then. when I saw it was just forever wondering. where he said that Jack Nicholson got. his arm cut off and you know how a human. can grow an arm back. He grows an arm. back and all this stuff. And I just was. expect. Yeah, it was my age. Well, that's okay. Kids are just crazy. I think it's okay if you're a kid. I. just for for a moment I pictured like a. 35-year-old neighbor and then it's then. it's time to call somebody.

Why are you guys getting on my case. about believing that my friend made out. with Austin Pek when you guys believed. all this your brothers and your. friend told you. Good point. You know, they're all dumb. Can I say something? You just stood up. for yourself in a way that I thought was. deserved. And um. and and I I'm I don't know. I still. think you're dumb, but. it doesn't change anything. It's. impressive what you did, but I think of. the three of us. It's crazy that you believed that. It is pretty stupid. Yeah. All right. Well, let's uh let's.

get this podcast going. My guest today, I am thrilled he's here. He starred in. the Deadpool films and the FX series. Welcome to Rexom, which returns for a. fourth season on May 15th. Uh I am. absolutely delighted he's here uh today. He's an incredibly uh talented uh screen. actor, uh television actor, but also one. of the funnier people you will run into. in life. He um he's crazy talented and a good.

soul. Ryan Reynolds, welcome. You didn't. leave the pause. Oh, sorry. Let's keep this. Oh. Oh. What did I do wrong? You didn't leave the pause. We talked. about this last episode. Before you say. the name, you're supposed to. I think I'm just excited that Ryan's. here. I understand. And I should have told you. literally seven years ago when we. started this podcast, he was 15. But you did remind him right before we. started recording. Yeah, but you know what you have to do. is you have to hold up a sign that says. pause cuz I'm a busy man and I get. excited when it's Ryan Reynolds. Okay. All right. Let's give you the pause. All. right. I'm thrilled he's here today.

Ryan Reynolds, welcome. Oh, the mouth. noises. [Music]. I have to say, and this is well, there's. no rhyme or reason to these interviews, but I talked to you about this a while. ago. Um, Just Friends. I watched that. with my wife. Uh, it was a movie that.

may have been mismarketed. I don't, you. know, it it it came out, didn't make a. big splash. One of my favorite Christmas. comedies. It has so many hilarious. performances in it. And then we showed. it to our kids. and I mean, but everybody, it is a. relentlessly funny movie. And I remember. telling you a bunch of years ago, I. swear to God, that movie will endure. it's going to it's going to stick around. and. well, you don't know about those kinds. of movie. I mean, you never know. You.

never know when you're making it. You're. like, "This is going to work. This is. not going to work." Um, you could when. you're older, I think you can trust your. experience and your instincts that line. up, but then when you're older, you also. go, "Nobody knows anything.". So, but Just Friends, I um. God, that was we shot in Regina, Saskatchewan. It's one of my few times. that I've ever been scared of like going. to jail because we just as a joke me and. the art department we made a sign that. would go over it would snap over the. welcome to Regina sign and it just said. welcome to Regina which rhymes with fun.

and and they uh I got in trouble though. You got in trouble? But then they thought it was funny. because it snapped off. So at first it. was vandalism, right? And then it was a then it was class. Then it was an art installment that. could come down. Yeah. And I come from RCMP. My dad, my. brother is currently RCMP uh officer. We. I always say you guys should just say. agent. It sounds better. You're an RCMP. agent. Isn't that Royal Canadian Mounted. Police? I believe I was a Royal Mounted.

Policeman in Canada. We did a week of. shows in Toronto a long time ago and one. of the remotes I shot, I either was. sworn in temporarily or we just stole. the costume. Either way, I operated uh. at at the border. I threw snowballs at. people trying to come in and out of. Canada dressed in that outfit. And man, I've never felt. power. more power in my life. And polite. and polite.

I had pancakes in my pocket. Instead of a gun. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Syrup. Little cartridges of syrup. My dad used to bust guys with confetti. He would just like walk up and throw. throw the confetti at you. And it's always fun when your you and. your brother have three older brothers. So, it's just mayhem. It's actual. mayhem. I mean, this is a horrible uh. situation cuz I'm the youngest, so I'm. the moving target. Uh they're brothers, you know. I'm just the moving target. uh. or harvestable organs. Um and you know,

we would but as I got older, we would. get out in this in this on the on the. lawn and it would be like an. oldfashioned like Tom Cruz and Far and. Away with the like the knuckles up and. we would just beat the living out. of each other. The neighbor would call. the cops and the cop would be my dad. That's not a cop we wanted to mess with. Oh my god. Yeah. But my dad got out of coping uh. pro, you know. I don't I mean he he. wasn't big on the truth. So, I don't. know why. Uh uh but um he Yeah, he got.

out of coping and then became a food. broker, which we're like, come on, that's CIA, right? And he's like, "No, I really am a. middleman for jars of jam. and uh and tiny yogurts.". What? He works for Megan Markle. Yes. Yes. Really tiny jams. Harvestable jams. Yes. Exactly. Made from the oils of Monteito. Um. if Jimbo Reynolds wasn't dead, I would. say he is Meghan Markle adjacent. Many people have likened the two. Um.

there's so much to talk about here. I am. thrilled that you've come on the pod and. you you fascinate me because and anger. me and enrage me. because uh you have the leading man. looks uh and all the abilities that come. with being a movie star. But. when you send me a text, it is one of. the funniest written texts that I've. received. And I read you you blasted me. uh a couple of weeks ago with these. texts and I was reading them and I.

thought this is a class A comedy writer. You have a comedy writer. It took me 41 days to compose that one. and it was a just in case. Before that I. had no idea I was going to be on the. show. I could tell it took a long time to. compose. You said day nine at one point. You. broke up the sentences. Day nine. Me Wilson you. Um I uh I. basically uh yeah I think it was about. like the you know uh dwindling licensing. rights at the Academy Awards show and.

how the fate of the future of film and. television of course is on your. shoulders. Please don't this up. Uh. there were a few hundred thousand people. who were like you know very selfish and. dependent upon you know food and shelter. and uh you know adequate medical. attention. I was I was reading this. thing and I don't ever do this, but you. sent me this really funny and my son my. son uh loves your work, really loves. Deadpool, and uh he is a 19-year-old. gentleman. And I just said, "I never do. this, but read this email." And he was.

laughing out loud. Oh, that's great. No, no. I mean, just uh it's really. funny because I don't know you're in a. class by yourself of people that can I. think work both ends of that spectrum. It's only at the top. Oh, I know. I know. You know, we're up there. together just holding each other. I'm at a different top. Sorry. You're. You're at the big top. You're at that top. You're at the top of. like Everest. I'm at the top of a hill.

An anthill. Oh, no. quite a soda. I'm in the prairies, Canada. S I'm in. Moosejaw, Saskatchewan, where the. tallest hill is. You can sled on my hill that I stand. my house from the curb. Um, no. Yeah, I. Well, that's a very kind. No, no. I I I know you're not going to. like a a compliment, but um uh your. facility and also it's so perfect. I. know it took you forever to get uh. Deadpool made, and there's a whole saga.

of you saying, "We I've I know how to do. this. This needs to be a movie. And I. can't believe it took so long to make, but the Deadpool's facility with. language and his sort of rubber, it's. not just physical rubber man quality, but also the verbal elacrity you have to. have. You've got that. And I'm thinking. that's because your brothers beat you. Because I had older brothers, too, that. beat me. Yes. And I don't have as much. of it as you. They weren't as strong as. your brothers. And my dad was a.

microbiologist, so he couldn't. off. So I'm saying he couldn't come. in with that heavy cop energy. My dad came in every now and then with. like a slide of a parramium and he'd. say, "Now that's enough of that.". Yes. I'll release this parramium. The rock child with parramium. What I'm saying is. Yeah. You developed. you evolved into a higher being because. you had more more to contend with. That's what I say to you, sir. there. I. have exited some rooms uh through.

drywall. I'll say that. Uh uh and my you. know, my father was uh yeah, he was. definitely very um. well, I'm just going to say it. Emotionally abusive, but no. No, no, no. My dad was It's actually odd. because my dad was tough and he was very. very like coiled. And I think when you as you get older. and he's been he's passed away um for I. don't know 10 years now or so. Uh cause. of death uncertain. Uh, no. He he he. died of uh something tragic. But anyway,

um it was uh it was. How do you get laughs with that line? Uh you shouldn't. So I'm. He died of something tragic. Big laugh. from this side of the room. Out of trust. I'm going to leave a large. air hole now. Okay. And uh as I was saying, um no, he. he was he was uh I the story changes. when people pass away too. It's like a. your your memory becomes like a less of. a reliable narrator and it's becomes. more of a feeling. Like I was say, you. know, I've been I'm pushing 50 here.

I've uh uh had some experience I have. some experience under my belt and I I'm. listening to I'm realizing I don't know. as much now. as I thought I did then. So when I think. about my dad and I think about how I. internalized however he was raising me. and the kid the other brothers and and. certainly his relationship with my mom. it's not what it I I I started asking. myself is that true? Yeah. Is that true? Was he really there or was. that more romantic to think of it like. that? And he was not great in some ways. and then other ways he was he was great.

like he really was. And I think it just. in time that changed. When you die they. will love you. Uh, we don't have to worry about that. We will not have to worry about that for. four years. So, let's just settle down. everybody. It's going to be like an ex president. He's going to have a huge afterg built. the Conan Conan O'Brien library of. library. log of the Conan O'Bri.

No, it's uh it's interesting you say. that because I have the same uh exper. First of all, my therapist would say. your dad did the best he could. And then I would say to my therapist, "No, he didn't.". Oh, wow. See, I'd cry. And then we'd fight. But uh but let that. sit for a second. Your dad did the best. he could given what he had. Yeah, he did. But he really did. My dad. My dad's my dad's dad would come home. from his job. He was a like a city. councilman in Alberta and then moved to. British Columbia. They bought their. house for I don't know like a half glass.

of water and spit and like lived in this. house. But he would get out there and. mow the lawn after work and he'd take. his jacket off, not his tie, and he. would fold his shirt up one cuff and. then mow the lawn. Like this is this is. not a man who knows how to So, you. know, like. very like conservative, right? I mean, very conservative. Wait a minute. Maybe he just sacred put. up one and then the other and then.

jackhammer. a power drill. I mean I'm saying hell. a lot of people assume I might fall in. that category, but what I do is I put. one and then I put the other up, loosen. the tie a little, and I show them how the Vikings took. Iceland. Uh, yes. Um, no. Well, that's where.

it's every bully has a bully, right? You. know, so that so he had those elements, but he also was he showed up, you know, he once went a long long time without. speaking to me. And it was over some. Yeah. something trivial and dumb. Uh and. then he but he would never miss a game. Never miss a football game. Never miss a. baseball game. Always there for a catch. even though it would be silent and super. awkward. He would Yeah. And and. he had that that guy had a right arm. that you would not believe. He had a he. could he broke the the little bone in my. finger. I had to switch to a catcher's.

mitt. and he did that underhand. Like so when people are like, "Oh, that's a softball question." I'm like, "Have you ever caught a softball. from Jim Reynolds?". No, you haven't. Shut up about that. sport. Um. God, if pickle ball were around, there'd. be a lot of dead people. But uh No, he. So my question is did your dad get. obviously I think the answer is yes he. must have seen your career blow up and.

was it unalloyed joy or was it. complicated? No, it was joy once I kind. of in his eye whatever his measure of. making it means. uh then it was accept you know he didn't. go to university but he didn't talk. about that he had Parkinson's and he. said the word Parkinson's maybe three. times in his life also former boxer. former who knows what you know. um so he was very reserved with that. with praise which is why I have an.

insatiable desire for validation so uh. we can unpack that hater. Never. I love you guys. You don't need that. Well, I don't know what you're talking. about. Someone who has no need for validation. Absolutely not. Uh but he he would when. I made quote unquote made it. Uh I think. then he accepted it. He was very bummed. that I didn't go to university. I did. though. I went for I'm not making this. up. I went for 45 minutes. I wanted to. meet the one teacher. He was like a guy. that Dr. Mlan was his name. He was a He.

got his doctorate in prison. uh he was I. think a hell's angel or something but. went to jail for uh 20 years or. something long time and then but got his. education in jail and became an author. and wrote a book and I read this book I. went there I met him beautiful uh lots. of prison tattoos but also beautiful. pastel sweater and uh and then I walked. back out the door uh of Quantland uh. Polytenic University in uh British. Columbia and I drove to Los Angeles. So, you went in knowing I'm going to meet.

this one gentleman and then I'm turning. around and I'm going to Los Angeles. Yes. Okay. So, you knew? Well, no. No. I I really knew once I was. inside, I just thought I am not ready. for this. Like, I don't think I can do. this. I only had one brother who really. was adamant about going to university. and it stressed the hell out of him. And. I just thought I don't want to be a food. broker. So, uh and you don't My dad did it. without a university education. So, uh, I. did you do Groundlings when you got to. LA? I think you.

I did do Groundlings, but I I moved to. LA to be in Groundlings. And I I of. course it doesn't work like that. You. don't just show up and go ready for the. main stage, everyone. Um, you I can give. you Stries. I can give you everything. you want. Um, no, you go through the. class. That's what I did. I did when I showed. up in LA and I. was like, I'm ready to perform. And they. said, you will take these classes. And I. said, yes, I will. And uh, I did, but at. least I got stage time. That's the. thing. Got to improvise with some great. people. Well, they're so good. They're all so in.

shape and they're like, you know what I. mean? That's that's a muscle like that. kind of ability. So, I thought you meant physically. Physically. No, no, no. These are. comedians. I've never been in shape. No, no, no, no. They get home and just. vanish jar of, you know. So, no. Uh, but I would think you as an improviser. that would be I could see you uh being. devastating as an improviser. I think it. would be Yeah, that would be your fun. space. Just I mean just in the times. that I've encountered you, we start. around instantly and I could see.

like oh this is someone who. wants to play 24/7 is the vibe that you. give. I don't know if that's. but also I would say that you are a. person that does it as well but you can. also pivot quite quickly to something. that's emotional because most people. that are funny I think have some pretty. you know deeply emotional people as. well. I think like comedy and drama. subsist on the same thing tension. subverting it makes it makes moves you. And if you have a like a film that has. emotion, then you can or anything. redemption called whatever you want, but. it makes all that funny stuff so much.

more funny and rich and powerful. So I. loved Groundlings when I did do their. shows. I used to do like a once in a. while like a Thursday cooking with gas. show they had and um and I would do I. think I did our Mondo a couple times. here and then I loved it because there. was no limit to it. But on a film set I. don't want to I like it's almost like. method acting. I'm not going to like. when people are coming on a film set, a. Deadpool film, anything, I'm not going. to make my process their process. So. like I never want to be that guy. So I. always I always chat and we talk and we.

say cuz how how can I help you feel. awesome? And like, you know, even a of. an actor who's a day player who comes in. um for one day, it's a that's a hard. that's the hardest job in show business. because he's got two lines and he's. going to over the do it like you. wouldn't believe because in his mind, you know, there's no small parts, just. small actors. I got to crush the. out of this. And then you you but you if. you can make it safe, I always love the. you're soup, sir. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're going to.

liquefy you and it. I'm I'm going. to snort your ashes on the top of the. plastic. Uh just to say I did it. Yeah. Um uh Yeah. And but I I always say to. them when we're when they're leaving, you say, "Hey, look, there's going to be. that moment. You're going to drive home. and Yeah. When gay players, you you. drive yourself home. Uh and uh you uh. you have to touch everything in the car, too. By the way, uh you you're going to. get in that car and you're going to go, I I should have done that." And I.

was like, then we go like, okay, take 10. minutes and think about what that is. Yeah. And then let's go do that. And it's like this fun little trick. And. then you do that and then you say, now. do the worst version you can do. Like. I'm telling you, you're safe. We never. use the worst version. Trust me. But. like do the worst. And then that's. always the take that ends up in the show. because now you're you basically said. like you're as safe as you could ever. imagine. And I love that feeling. So, I'm not like a I my improv is like write. I've written 10 alts for each joke, but.

not just for me, but for my co-stars or, you know, and it's a well, would you. here's a menu. Is there anything you'd. like here? Wesley Snipes was like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I. was like, you did not read that fast. Come on. This one had a beginning, middle, and end. Like, come on. Wesley Snipes has gotten. pretty far on nope, you know? Yeah. Oh my god. But then he then he. delivered. He was like, you know, I gave. that this ice skate uphill line. He was. like, I'll do it. It was great.

[Music]. When I watched uh Deadpool and and. Wolverine, the I mean, I'm just I'm I'm. thinking the credit sequence at the top. that served nine purposes pretty much. But yes, I'm hardressed to think of um how much. was packed into one film and to just be. watching. So my son and I love that we. were going to that movie and something.

went arai and we got there and I just. said, "Oh, trust me, we're just going to. miss like 2 seconds up top and we missed. I think we missed like 45 seconds of the. opening.". That would have hurt. That would I knew. that. It killed me to the point that we went. back and watched it later on. But it's. rare that you can miss 45 seconds of a. movie and at the top and feel like, "Oh. I'd miss some sweet, sweet syrup because. the whole thing was. just you just missed me singing along to.

the Marvel theme song, the. Marvel, they're so stupid, you know, movie, you know." Uh, but it was they. were they were amazing. you could like. make I mean Bob Iger was you know he he. saw the film and the first time he saw. the film it was in pretty good shape and. he he said uh I got you gotta remove the. one line Ryan and I was like what what. line he's like you know the line and I. went Mickey Mouse he's like yeah yeah I. was like the Bob the whole movie orbits.

around that line like when that line is. the film it's the thrust the the thesis. it's everything. and it's because my brain pain when he. says the one line is like precious. Yes. Must keep the line. Uh and so I really. had to kind of like walk around his. office a little bit to a couple of laps. and then it was fine. We were good. We. switched it up and he was just he just. didn't want a Mickey Mouse the Mickey. Mouse joke in and I and now it got I not. because of me they released the script.

for like WGA uh you know awards season. and stuff and they they just shower. these kinds of movies with awards. So, uh, you know, I was dancing behind you. and trying to suggest things at the, uh, at the Academy Awards. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. What we're calling the. Academy Awards situation, uh, you you. were in, um, in the situation. I love that nobody knows that when I. hosted the Oscars, that really was you. as Deadpool. Oh my god. No one knows, you know. I assume arthritis at this.

stage. N, they have pills for that, too. I have. a question which is you have this skill. set. Did you have an idea of what you. wanted your trajectory to be? Would you. have been happy if TV had hit uh and. that had worked out or did you always. know like pretty much where you wanted. to end up? Well, it's so different now. It's like. now people who are in film are hoping to. gain enough respect to get a TV show, right? If I could get White Lotus, only get a limited series.

Yeah. Um Yeah. I I I I know everything. happened perfectly. My whole career was. an aggregate. I it was very slow. It was. never I never experienced that overnight. fame thing and I honestly I I I think. about how lucky I am because a lot of. the guys that I came into the business. with are gone and a lot of them are. passed away or like you think took these. tragic you know turns where you hear. about it you know one random Wednesday. you're like what you know you just can't. these are friends of yours?

Yeah. in in in Los Angeles when I when I. first met her. I lived in East Hollywood. and and you know, everyone was partying, everyone was doing, you know, this and. that. And I I just it was scary. It was. a scary place to. Yes. You know, to to to to be young and to. have fame and money is a very very odd. combination of things. And I I. thankfully was so slow with everything. I wasn't I wouldn't consider like I I. sort of hit it in a way when you asked. me earlier when my dad he never made it. to Deadpool. like he never made it to.

that coming out. He made it to I was in. post-prouction on on October 25th in. 2015 when he when he uh passed away. It. was 3 months earlier. My daughter James. is named for him. So he's James. Reynolds. Um James does not like it when. I call her Jimbo. Uh. she'll grow to love James. Yes, I know. Uh yeah, I'm And that's our dog, Hawkua. Um. yeah. Okay, you know what? I'm going to. stop naming things. Don't name anything. anymore. Oh, here comes my parakeet.

Parakeet Adolf. Yeah. Yeah. Oh god. Poor sons of. around that time, right? Who had that. stuck with that name. God damn it. I. mean, we had a feeling that his first. speech, right? That push, you know, the. pooch. It was nuts. You were nuts. Um, yeah. Uh, yeah. I don't know what the. we were talking about, but uh um. Well, your your trajectory, but you just. you took it one step at a time. Yeah. And I think it it would allowed me. to enjoy it like in in points. I've I'm.

always uncomfortable with the thing that. I'm also uh in pursuant of, right? Like. your fame is a weird thing. It has a. little power to it. It's odd, but like I. I I found a way to kind of make myself. appreciate that part of it more because. I love acknowledging and playing with. the cultural landscape, whether it's in. a movie, a commercial, sports, like I. don't care. I just I don't discriminate. I love that they're in all those all. those areas. So sharing fame made it way. way way less weird for me. Like when.

when like a kid comes up and says, "Can. I get a selfie with you?" I'm like, "Who's the most important person in your. life?" And they're like, "Uh, my dad, Frank." And I'm like, "Video." I. switched to video. I'm like, "Frank, I'm. here with your name." Will. Will, this is not a hostage situation. He's. fine. Uh, but he wants he you're the. most important person. And he's like, "You're the one. You were the phone a. friend. That was you." You know, and. then you you let it go. It takes just a. few seconds longer than a selfie. But. like now it's a memory for them. forever and it's a thing to have and I.

walk away feeling like good. It's a great philosophy. Uh you will. attest I I pursue people who don't want. a selfie with me. Oh god. Yeah. And say come on. You're going to like. it. It's going to be funny. I've chased children into. it. Be good. It'll be good. Who's the. most important person in your life? I don't know who you are. Oh my god. Um, yeah. So, there's a there's. neediness and then there's neediness, but they will enjoy that one day. Um,

I once made a video for Laorazzipam, you. know. I mean, somebody said uh, Laorazzipam was the most important thing. in their life. And I was like, okay, well, make a video for that. Sure. I've seen it. They air it now. It's a. lot of money at the end. You missed out. I know. And I just want to say cuz I. have to say this now every time I bring. it up is that if you're having clay. colored stool or any other side effects, please consult a doctor immediately. Razipam, I feel like me again. Trademark. Fightser Corporation.

You can bleep those out, right? No. No. We're going to get that money. Thank you very much. They got a lot. We will not share it with you. You will. get nothing. That clay colored stool thing really. cost them a lot too cuz like you don't. want that. You don't. Or do you? Or do you? You can pass it off as clay at an art. class. You listen to it while if you're. on the toilet and you put some Unchained. melody on and that comes out, you're. like, uh, it's never going to happen. But if.

you're touch and T is holding you and. you're both on the toilet. Yeah, it's you, Soda. This is why they have reverse toilets so. you can sit this way. Yeah. Oh god. I've never done this before, but can we. just turn off the mics? Just cut it. Just cut up early. I used to work with a a studio executive. who will not be named until we stop. recording. And uh he always aimed it at. at someone who ever saw. Jesus. Over here, huh?

Yeah. What do you mean Jesus? I mean, yes, we'll do your idea. Yeah. It means you don't point your. crotch at me. I'm going to um Yeah. Now, for those at. home, uh, Conan just went back in his. chair and then aimed his crotch at. everyone he was speaking to. Uh, I learned from the best. Yes, he did. Um, did you learn from the best? And that man could use some underwear. I. tell you that much because that also is. a Yeah, we are in a moment uh where of course. politically there's some tension between.

Canada and the United States over. tariffs. What do you guys send us? What. do we send you? And it occurred to me. today that we have been getting some of. the greatest comedians and comic minds. and actors of all time from Canada. I. don't think we've sent you I don't. think we've exported much to you in the. in the comedy realm. And I think if. someone were to do a reckoning just. comedically and you started to add up.

the Ryan Reynolds and the Martin Short. and Lauren Michaels and the Mike Myers. and I mean it just goes on and on and. on. It's there's too many to even begin. naming. Seth Rogan went to the high school uh up. the hill from me. Yeah. There you go. No, no. Seth Rogan went to high school. Oh my god. He can read. Yeah. Fluent. A lot of kids who go to high school. can't read. He can pass. I had to do a. commercial in French Canadian the other. day and it was a it was sort of like a a. a very scary thing because when you're. in those schools you have to know.

French Canadian. You have to speak it. fluently and it's just it goes away. It. just goes away. You don't use it. It's. gone. So I was trying just like. a terrible Saab story. All the French Canadian. you're st You should do a really sad. tour where you go like people think I've. got it all. Yeah. Ryan Reynolds, but I. can't speak French Canadian. until I ask for a pastry in Paris. And. they're like, "Oh, is that French. Canadian you're speaking?". [Laughter]. Yeah. No, no, not good. Uh, we realize.

the Canada does have it does have a lot. of fun. The thing is you've sent us I'm. thinking, what have we sent? What have. we sent you guys? It's not a fair What? There's an imbalance. Yeah. Burn flow. Thanks. Thank you. So, there is an imbalance of trade in. that respect. And that's about as. political as I get. I think it's got to. stop. And it's got to stop now. It's got to stop now. Good. Uh, yeah. Yeah. I've had the Acroyid voice in my head. all day. I Yeah, you've heard me doing. my bad impression, but I can't get it. out. Like, you've had I can't get it out. Out. Out, kid.

I'll tell you what, kid. off. Back to Canada. Uh, Dan Akaroy, legendarily funny guy, but a uh not someone. He's an unusual. man. He's You don't meet a Dan Akroyd. every day. And um. one of the more underrated though I. think uh talents guy like one of the. smartest people you'll ever talk to. Uh. but yeah, eccentric. But we were talking about how his. comedic ability to he did it on SNL in. so many ways, but to fire information.

out of his mouth uh in in with great. authority and accuracy. No one else could do that like him. like. he could pump like half of the movie's. boring exposition, make it funny, make. it entertaining into your mind in like a. third of a second. It was the cra I've. never seen someone speak as fast as Dan. Akroy does in Ghostbusters. He has this. a speech that must have been that long. on the page and it just comes out and. you know it. You still hear it all. That's the trick. And I just think he's. I'm kind of I think I'm a little. obsessed with him in some way.

So he invited you to hang with him a. little bit, right? Yes. But then he also wanted you to take off. at some point. Yeah. We got to come up. We got to come. up here to Ontario, kid. And then we're. going to eat dinner and you're going to. sleep over and then in the morning we're. going to do the interview and you're. going to you're going to off back. to where you came from. That's what we're going to do, kid. Bring an extra order Canada pin for me. and I'll put it on and we'll do it. Let's go. You know what I love is there's a reason. he made the Dragnet movie because he is. Jack Webb in some ways. I think he is. Jack Webb. Cuz Jack Webb, if you ever.

watch old drag nets, it's all Jack Webb. just spitting out all this information. Really square cop 1960s. These are. bennies, those are high hives. If he'd. have a in his palm, he would have a list. or a whole bunch of pills and he would. rattle them out really quickly. Those. are blue butterflies, you know, and it was hilarious. And then. he did the draget movie with Tom Hanks. and it was he was fantastic at it. That. was back when like the miscellaneous. line item on a like a production report. is just like all cocaine.

Like and then you guys spent uh $80,000. on miscellaneous in one night. What the. is that? Yeah. Um that's always the thing. I Dan Dan. also shows like a a thing a bit that. Candy that John Candy you know you saw I. think you saw in Planes Trains which is. what you're seeing in a performance. It's heartbreaking, funny, uh, vulnerable, and all the. thing, all the reasons I am am have. always been and will always be, uh, very. much in love with Mr. John Candy. But, uh, Dan Akroyd, if if you ever seen.

Gross Point Blank, Yeah. he gives the most unexpected villain. performance I've ever seen. It wasn't. over the time. Wasn't over. It was just. grounded and weird and and un infinitely. watchable. When I finally tracked him. down, cuz he's elusive, um I said I owe. money because I've stolen so much from. him that uh I believe I I owe $41. million. Yeah. 41. Don't put that on paper. Uh no, not at all. Uh cuz he'll take it. I heard him jot it down though. Um uh.

but no, he he's a just a real gentleman, too. Like really, you know, just made of. good stuff. And he sells a tequila that comes in a. skull vodka skull vodka. He's really. into actual crystal skulls, right? And. aliens. UFOs and aliens. Yeah. But come on. Did you try it? Well, uh, did I try? I. think I've tried everything that exists. at some point, you know. Try, right? Yeah. Clay colored stool. That you can smoke it. We don't have to go back. Yeah. But don't smoke the lorazzipam.

Um, because I also have another PSA for. that. And you don't you don't want those. side effects. Oh my god. Or baby. formula. Don't smoke baby formula. Um, are we going to list things you. shouldn't smoke now? Yes. Most of them you when you smoke, you don't know you're peeing anymore for. the rest of your life. You just like you're like, "Oh, it's. warm now. It's cold. It's warm and. comforting all of a sudden.". Yeah. But now. like the womb little stingy, little. cold. Um, yeah. No, no, no, no. Yeah. But I I Yeah. I didn't I was never big.

on all the probably why I'm like I come. down a real real heavy case of Alive. Yeah. Um Yeah. I've always wanted to do a. non-alc commercial for like one of those. um you know I wrote one I haven't. figured out how to end it all yet but. like where people do the same things. drunk people do uh except on their. non-alcoholic beverage a choice where. they're like you know the next the next. morning they're like uh you know there's. a woman who's like I went out with Gail. and the girls the other night and I. don't drink but I had a one night stand.

uh with this guy and then the camera. just shifts over to him and he's like. and let me tell you something I don't. drink either and I felt everything, you. know, and and she's like, I was awakened. and basically says, uh, you know, we got. crazy in the middle of the night and we. just decided, it, let's have a. baby. And we just met. Uh, I didn't know his. last name. uh and and and basically. experiences that each people each person. has that you would nor like the groom at. uh uh or the the sorry the the best man. at a wedding, you know, gives a speech.

that's just profound, you know, and it's not like just the letter L for. five straight minutes and then like an. anecdote about himself. Uh you know, just nails it. Um toepic everything. Uh. so I've always want I've always wish. that's that the angle that's the angle. that it would be fun with a little. He could have been in advertising. You. missed you missed out. Yeah, because I can tell when you do your. whether it's Mint Mobile and I'll give. you guys a plug. I think it's a fine. service. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah, it is a fine. service. It's very good. Uh your ads are very funny and I I get.

the impression that you are behind them. or steering them because you have that. kind of brain. You like to say this is a. commercial but also call out that it's a. commercial. You love. they know they're being I mean consumers. know they're being marketed to. So don't. do. Yeah. It's not a very special episode of. Dharma and Greg. It's a you know. it's a funny commercial, you know. Yeah. But it's well it's I you know why I I. like them and and it's sort of it's not. just me. Certainly I have a like a I. have some of the greatest smartest.

people that quite frankly I find. threatening. Um who are I get to work. with. I mean Shawn Levy who I've done. three movies with now. um you know it's. like a brain trust and like a there's a. real I mean every movies that you sort. of quote control are like that you're. not controlling it they just trust you. you know you said like hey I'm going to. land the plane you know I remember. trying to trying to get the my Deadpool. and Wolverine movie made and I just. focused on that I was like I will return. your investment like I will return your. I got you like I am not a reckless you.

know pilot I am I will land the. plane on a dime it will be a four. quadrant. R-rated film I'm going to make Disney's. first for quadrant already. And this is. after they said no to 18 different. things, including a movie where Deadpool. is uh after the hunter who killed. Bambi's m uh mom. They said, "We don't touch Bambi.". Um and I said, "You you said you don't. touch Mickey Mouse." We don't touch. Bambi and we don't touch Mickey Mouse. You know what? Given the profits and. what you've shown, I think you can do it.

now. Yeah, I think you can. We we we did. And we we Yeah. I was like. I but I that's a part of our. responsibility too as people that. produce the movie and we co-write the. movie and we're act all those things. It's like making sure it like works cuz. I've done movies that are you know uh. small films that you know are in. Sundance and all that stuff and I loved. making them and they were hard to make. and uh you know they would get great. reviews and everything but then it would. just you'd find out later it just. bankrupted whatever little tiny studio. made it and I thought I'm going to be. out of work. They're getting out of.

work. I got to find a I got to find a. job that fits so it it's a win-win, you. know, if I want to do it for the rest of. my life, I'm going to have to figure. that out. And then it grew to all of it. like all the other things. I love I. loved commercials when I was a kid. Like. if you saw a good commercial, it stayed. with you. Yes. You know, and I and I was one of those. kids like you probably were. You're. sitting there 2 inches from the TV and. just trying to stay up as late as human. because TVs back then ran on plutonium. Oh my god. Right. My face was melting 22. by the way.

Uh, and that is. scarred for life. Oh god. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. No, it's. just. We sometimes turn off the lights in the. studio and I'm a grinning skull. Just the the teeth whitening. It's got. to stop. [Music]. The biggest uh change for me was was. Green Lantern because it was uh you know. didn't work and it was um it was I. watched a studio throw money at problem. at the problem after problem after.

problem instead of creat like you know. constraint is the greatest creative tool. in the world and that's why I like. commercials because there's an economy. to them. You can't have to make them. quick. You have to be not precious about. them. You know it's a. commercial. Who cares? It doesn't have. to be a Fellini film. it'll either work. or it doesn't or it moves at a speed of. culture so it's at least relevant like. it's a it's an easier way to kind of fix. it you know but the um that movie was. where I changed my life because I just. saw. you you saw this is going down or this.

isn't I don't think this is coming. together and they're just throwing more. millions at it. Yeah. And it was really like that's hard. for everyone because it's it's you're. too much money, too much time will. murder creativity. Like if you have to. if you you're under constraint like the. next movie I did was Deadpool which had. a 56 million budget I believe which is. nothing. Like I think they probably. spent 250 on Green Lantern and this one. had nothing. So you had to supplant or. change all of these action spectacle set. pieces into movies that like you.

remember the dialogue, not the thing. Cuz audiences also are newer to special. effects. Like if you the world in. danger, I was like I'd love to the. characters like I don't give a. about the world. Like I care about those. people uh and no one else. I've been saying this. So I've been. saying this for years. I refuse to see a. movie. At a certain point I declared I. will not see a movie that has a portal. If a portal opens up, we did use the. portal. I know, but we did call it the the. Marvel sparkle circle.

Yes, you had fun with it and made fun of. it. There are so many movies where. clearly. that they don't know what to do. So, what they have is six people put the. nine stones together and then the sky. opens and anything can come out and it. doesn't have to make sense. I love that. this is your cause cuz most people are. like, "Oh, politics and kids these days. and you're like portals. Portals portal. I saw another portal today.".

Yeah. You get off my lava. came out of the sky and punched Captain. America, who's a strong man. Yes. And he fell down, but then got up and. punched the dragon and it went flying. Preach, sister. I'm sorry. I know that. there's people think there's problems. with racial inequality, gender inequality, there's a poverty, poverty in the world. Don't even get us started on tariffs.

But all of that can be fixed by portals. if you'll just allow it. No, a dragon will come in and smash it. all. It's I watch but I loved. the the use of it because you could say. anything in the Deadpool movies which. just you know I loved watching I loved. watching Kevin Feige watch the thing. back got together where Deadpool's like. he's like you know listen we don't have. to do this you know there's a big fight. about to happen and they're like no. we're going to you up or whatever. the line is and and he says no no I'm. not I mean the multiverse.

it's not it's not working it's not great. uh it's just been miss after miss after. miss. It's been two Ant-Man's forward. and one Black Adam back. and it's not working. Uh and and you. know Kevin WZ on each miss after miss. so funny. and and yeah but then what a sport like. he was. but you make a really good point which.

is that I do find that that's what's. missing is. a good movie gives you a couple of. people and you if they're doing it right. you really care about them. I know it. sounds corny, but I was watching The. Third Man, Orson Wells, just Vienna, and. I'm I watched that a couple nights ago, and. God, they had me caring about. these three people in Vienna in 1948, and I think the movie cost $11. Um, but.

oh my god, it's fantastic. And I do. think that CGI had people thinking, "Oh, we don't need that so much as as long as. because people really care that that. portal gets closed.". Yeah. And you're like, "I'm not sure they do. They don't really care if the portal. gets closed." But I'm sorry. I know. We got I knew we were going back. there. The gravity. Oh my god. the the scene that we've seen. so many times where one character is is. on one side of the glass and there's the.

radiation and it's you. It's Deadpool. I spocked him. Yes. Deadpool Wolverine. And it's the. parody of that scene and and one of the. things that in a weird way I got. suckered into caring. I was I was caring about the people in. the scene and then you start. around. And. once we did I did it just to make you. laugh. And I'm swear to God there's one. it's actually we had to realign my head. a couple times because the going down. the stairs didn't work quite well. So we. were like rejiggering it trying to get.

but I just did it to make you laugh. cuz there he is shirtless. Hasn't had a. carb since the8s. He's like oh god like. you know can we just get through this. scene so I can have a bagel and um you. know I I'm a rat. It's just. terrible. A horrible friend. Um yeah. You know what's so sad? The first time. he said it, I thought he said to make. you laugh. I thought so. And I thought he was saying Conan, I put. that in just for you. And then I. realized, no, he means Hugh Jackman. Yeah. And I suddenly lost interest in you as a.

person. Well, I actually had the same problem. with the Whitney Houston song. Oh, the. Dolly Parton song. But I always thought. it was Hugh. I always love Hugh. And then I was like, wait, you. No, she meant it. She wrote it about. Hugh Hefner. Which is weird cuz it's. Yes. It's very sexist. Yeah. Yeah. She likes that he's. commodified women's sensuality. I don't. know. It's a. commodified. That word's come up three. times today. It has. Yeah. Yeah. I was sitting next to. someone who said commodified and I was. like, I think you mean commodified and. he's smart as.

I was like I but I So I felt the power. in that moment, right? I was like, oh, I. have something over you right now, don't. I? No, I knew what I was doing cuz I've. trademarked co-odify. Oh, I got you to say. you and Mhenny. Cuz it was Mhenny. Robert Robert Capernicus Mad Henny was. walking around here earlier. You guys. were working on something in our I. we often use your office. You I let you use my office to shoot a. major film. Um no, one of your I think. for your Rexom project you guys were.

shooting something and I said yes. Yes, of course. Mikasa Sucasa. Um which I. believe is I think that's Spanish I. think. Yeah. No, that's No, that's German. Oh, that's Yes. the minecasa masa, but it's angrier. Uh, anyway, I saw you. when I first walked in. I see you and I. see Mhenny and I give you a hug and it's. like, this is a this is Ryan Reynolds is. takes good care of himself, works out. I. I I hug you and I'm like, well, this is.

an impressive lad. And then I turn to. Mhoney, I hug him. That guy. is. Yes, I know. Alabaster. Yes. No. Hard as a rock. Hard as a rock. Hard as a rock right. now. Uh he is um. just describing it. Your heart has. arrived. Mhenny's I saw him without his shirt. How you feeling now there? You guys were expertly lit and in slow. motion in my mind when I saw you guys. coming together. No, no. Mhenny, don't. don't uh don't sleep on that body if. Well, sleep on it if you can. Uh happily married though, so don't try. Uh but he's uh yeah, he's a rock. He's a.

beast. Incredible. So yeah, Rob I uh I treat with respect. You better with kindness. Uh occasional. condescension and that's about it. Yeah, mostly just those things. But he did say. co-modified because uh. not great. Yeah, he up. Not me. I wouldn't. do that. Just finished a like two years of just. in the guts of something, you know, with. I always think of film when they say. filmmakers like Sean Levy is more like a. brother. We we just love each other. Three movies together. We're going to do. a fourth one at some point. But um that.

like filmmaker word is not broad enough. though because like it's so when movies. work, you guys talked about this on one. of the shows. I think it was like Adam. Scott. the how like. they're hard to make a movie a movie is. hard to make. It's impossible. Yeah. Like everyone has to be excellent. like really and care people sort of. under estimate how valuable caring is. You know when you work with a props. department or a production designer who. in his cells wants to make the best.

possible. Our Deadpool and Wolverine Ray. Chan he passed away unfortunately on our. last day of shooting too. It was. really. sad, but um it was one of those things. where in post we got to put Easter eggs. of them everywhere in the movie. But. that movie would never have done what it. did or connected with people the way it. did without this guy. And I consider a. production designer a filmmaker. Sometimes a costumeumer is a filmmaker. Sometimes it's a you know. cinematographer. It's just these are. it's a v more vast a pool than I think. people realize. is, you know, there's a.

lot like it's part of why it changed my. trajectory when I was at the right time. was, you know, you do a movie and you're. working with people who if there's one. person in charge and that is it, my way. or the highway. You get everyone into a. yes sir, no sir, you know, like when I. pitch a joke, I'm always like, "Okay, here's the shittiest version possible.". But and what I'm actually doing is. inviting disscent. I want you to. disagree. Like disagree with me because. then then we're going to have fun. It's. going to get better. And you may have an. idea that it's amazing that you've. suppressed because I'm like this is the.

way. Um but it's that pool always has to. be expansive and and then you make great. stuff and then it's why movies are like. you know I was so happy you were hosting. the Oscars because like you I think. you've now and have always understood. the joy of a of collective. effervescence. It's why you work in. front of a a live audience a lot too. which is why you know the some. you make things with people which is. always the the the magic is we this is a.

group of us uh if you have a good. audience you can make them part of it I. like I think it's coming from a a family. that's another example of why I love. this man and and now. you got to say my name might be so he's. pointing to me. no Gail uh cone has anyone ever gone. cone They've never gone coke. Let's not do that. Uh the um the the the. reason I love you is that you you don't. you don't punch down like it's not your. vibe and it's a good. Oh, no. I would very much like to be the.

best target. Yes, me too. Like I I've. done it. I did it once in in in my life. Uh and I deeply deeply regretted it and. I it was 22 years ago and it was such a. lesson they'll never forget. late night, but it was a little bit like. uh when the just the comedian or the guy. with the microphone starts picking on. someone and you're just like they don't. have a microphone as well. It's not. fair, you know, and it's like and it. just that land that that was left a mark. that I'll never ever. Yeah. You can't if you think you've.

really hurt someone's feelings, you as crazy as it sounds and you're in. comedy, if you really think you've hurt. someone's feelings, um, unless it's. Mussolini or Stalin, how did you know? If you have trouble like you can't. sleep, you know, you wake up and you're. just, you know, wide. It was Yeah. And. the person It gets worse. I um I wrote a. long note to the person afterwards and I. said, "I don't know why that came out of. my mouth." And it was because I'd seen. them like the couple days before um near.

the apartment I was renting in Santa. Monica. This is so long ago. And I sent. I wrote a long letter to him. Sent him a. a case of champagne. I don't know. I was. young. No one drinks champagne, right? I. don't know. Uh and uh uh later I read a. story about his wife saying that he fell. off the wagon back in June. And I think. Yeah. No, it was I did I had no idea. This was before you don't just Google. someone. Like I didn't know. So you mocked him. and then your apology was to send him.

the substance. that he had successfully kicked. me. Like I really And then so. that's where I got the lesson to never. apologize. And if you're listening right now, don't apologize. Um yeah. No, no, I did. He's fine and. wonderful and and and may I say. thriving. Uh but yeah, I will tell you that I have had the same. thing just like twice in my career where. I said something, it just slipped out of. my mouth. them doing a volume business. It got back to me that the person's. feelings were hurt and it felt like I.

had been shot and I wrote a letter and. sent it to them like I'm so sorry that. you you know. that means I mean as parents you see I. mean know like and I do that all the. time with the kids if you like I if you. get down kneel down to their level and. you say hey when we last night when I. you wouldn't you know go to bed and you. did all the uh the sorry street art on. the wall uh um I could have handled that. better and I wasn't Great. I wasn't good. at dadding. And and and I'll even do the.

doover. I'm like, can I try? Can you. make some more street art over. there, but on the paper? And I will come in and. I'll do it again. Better. But you're asking for a retake. Yeah. Basically, that is what I'm doing. I'm imposing. doesn't want a child. Sociopathic monster. Let's skip let's. skip showbiz and just enroll you. straight into cocaine right here. and then go into showbiz with all your. injuries, emotional injuries. Yeah, we have to wrap this up because we've. kept you for too long and you're a man.

in demand. Um you are one of my. favorites. I say that at the end of every podcast. Uh sometimes I'm talking sometimes I'm. talking to absolute criminals uh in jail. and I say you're one of my favorite. people and I believe you're innocent of. those 19 murders which you would confess. to. Jay Leno fell. We were all looking for the Hampton. Pushed him down that hill. Who doesn't look for a Hampton Inn when. you're. Ryan, you are you are so fast. You were.

so fast and so funny and making so many. people happy and I'm thrilled that we. could spend time today and hang out. I I've never seen four hours go by as. fast as it just did. Uh no, I'm serious. I I this is one of those things where. you when I I could tell in your voice. it's time to wrap it up and I got. genuinely sad. because I you know you were an idol of. mine. You are somebody who I've watched. and dare I say at the risk of. overpraising look up to and uh uh always. have always will because you're kind uh.

you have integrity and you can that. doesn't mean it costs you subversive. comedy or any of those things. All that. edge is there and it is a high bar you. set. you always have. And uh and that's. that's that's why I did the Jay Leno. thing. I just I. you know, I snapped. And um. I I don't know what you're talking. about. I forget everything before 2010. Um it's all gone. But you didn't forget my wire numbers. Cayman Islands.

Uh Ryan, thank you so much. And uh God. bless. I God I bless you. And I am a. god. So God bless you. Yeah. I know you are our deity. Deas, what is that? Is it Isn't there that? No, deas is the thing you stand behind. when you talk. It's. cold modified. Hey, at least we got at. least we stopped the landing going out. That's the important thing. Also, we talked about a lot of. Canadians. Thank you for that. I'm saying and there's a huge trade. imbalance here. Mhm. We're going to work on that. We're. going to we're going to have a a caucus. Is that what we say? We caucus on it. We're going to legislative branches.

Your worship in Canada. That's a fun. one. You have to say your worship. to the judge. Do you have the little honor of Canada. yet? Have you had that? I do have it. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You know who one of the people I think. wrote the letter was? Lauren. That's nice. He's a nice man. I think he he won't. admit to it. All right, sir. Thank you. Go with Thank you, guys. Thank you all. Go with blessings.