Ray Romano Applied To Be A Monologue Writer On Conan’s Show | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

It's funny because you've had one of. those careers, too, where you've you. popped in different things over the. years, Sona. You're a We all love Step. Brothers. You're a step brothers. You're. a step brothers fanatic. You I do love. it. The way you popped in that must. have, you know, felt like one carb. That's right. I always That's the thing. I remember most about that movie. Yeah. Uh, and I and I know that your arc uh in. um Parks and Wreck was a little strange,

right? You when when the show started, there's a story to it. Well, I started. at the end of season 2. I mean, I had. auditioned for the show originally, but. it wasn't even really for a specific. role. It was so early that Mike was. still me and Rashida read together and. blew it and was bummed. And then Party. Down came along. So, in a way, it sort. of worked out well. I was able to do. that because I didn't get the Parks.

pilot. And I'm so glad I was able to do. Party Down. And then, weirdly, Mike. loved Party Down and from that asked me. to come and and join Park. So, it all. sort of came around. This is the. inevitable question. Did you ever get to. ask Mike, "Hey, man, what the What. the I was here, remember when I. auditioned for you?" That's just And. it's so funny because I've had this. experience here on this podcast where. we're talking to iconic legendary actors.

and when they bring up the guy who. snubbed them, the casting director. Harrison Ford did it f on this on this. podcast and he was like, you know, the. year was 1967. Still like pissed about. it. He's pissed. Jerry Sakovski. Jerry. Takovski. Yeah. And also uh you know. famously famously Michael Jordan when he. was accepted into like the you know. basketball hall of fame his speech was. all a list he started listing people who.

this guy benched me in fifth grade. remember that Josh Kaway you know and um. it's his fuel like that documentary he's. constantly bring it it's his fuel but uh. it does bring up the idea you're working. with someone who I had this with. I. know. Wait, what are you saying? He. should be pissed at Mike shirt. No, no, no. You know what? You're right. I Yes. God damn. it. This is the goal of this my podcast. to dig up old animosities. Here's a very.

well-liked Adam is a very well-liked uh. actor, celebrity, uh critically. acclaimed, his his, you know, his. wonderful family. He's happy. He's. having this big uh moment that will keep. going and all I want to do is get him. mad. I know. you. I'm going. straight to Mike's house afterwards. Ding dong. Hey, Adam. Bang. Boom.

you. And then we never speak. Yeah. Then later he hears the podcast. Oh, I. see. Then he rings my bell. Oh, hi Mike. Hey. soon just a cavalcade of people punching. each other and just lawsuits for years. Yeah, lawsuits for years. We're all tied. up in the courts. Um, I never asked him. I think because I was just 100% sure. why, which was I blew the I I sucked at. auditioning. I hated it. It was.

embarrassing and I I was just never very. good at. So, I I didn't walk out of. there thinking I was gonna get the job. anyway. We had this with Ray Romano. Ray. Romano who um he wanted to be a. monologue writer for my show. Great. comedian, great joke writer. We we. didn't have a slot but he had a good. packet and people knew him. So I met. with him and sat across he came into my. office and you know at the time I'm like. 32 years old. vaguely and he was sitting there and he.

was real nervous and I just kind of said. that your stuff is great but we didn't. have an opening. So he goes from that. experience to maybe a year later getting. Everybody Loves Raymond. Wow. And then. becoming this monolithic uh TV star. Uh. and um I remember later on running into. say ah so I was really bummed I didn't. get that job. You know, wow, what are. you talking about? Do you realize what.

we pay monologue? What was it. meas Ray? Ray. Hello Ray. Yeah, you're. Ray Romano. That doesn't happen if. you're with me writing. Oh, you know you. are profoundly wealthy. Yeah, because of. your greatness. You can buy and sell me. 35. I know, but I think I could have. done that. Are you sure you weren't. talking to Bobcat Goldwin? No, I was. talking to Cookie. Monster cookies. Anyway, you know, it. just I don't know. It it I love people.

that just get stuck on something like. that. And I'm trying to get you stuck on. it, but it didn't work out. Well, I I am. now. I'm obsessed. Um uh Aluccino, too. Did he say something about that? You. guys had Alpuccino. Yes. And he sat. right where you're sitting and he's one. of my all and talk about you can't. believe I couldn't believe that I'm in, you know. I mean, I bumped into him a. couple of times. He'd always been very. sweet to me. knew who I was would like. call me called me over to his table.

once. I just I couldn't I I I couldn't. believe that this guy Yeah. There's. there's of of all the space in his. brain, there's one cell that knows about. me. like I couldn't I couldn't believe. it cuz I'm such a massive fan, but he um. he was sitting here and yeah, he was. very in touch with no bitterness at all, but very much in touch with the fact. that um you know, Copela and the studio. really didn't want him. Yeah. Uh I mean, Copela wanted him to to have the role in.

The Godfather, but um to to be Michael, but studio didn't want him. And then for. maybe half the shoot of the movie, yeah, they they're they don't like the studio. doesn't like him. And Copela is like, "Yeah, I know. He's not bringing it. He's not bringing it." And tells him. that. And he remembered being called. over to Copela's table at a restaurant. and Copela didn't even stand up. Yeah. You didn't ask him to sit down. Didn't. ask him to sit down. And so he was very. much in touch with that and still is.

And I remembered him saying to me like, you know, Conan, they didn't want me. They didn't want me. And I'm like, yes, but then you did get it and you became. the face of the poorly. Yes. For not one. but two of the greatest films ever made. And then you go on to do all this other. iconic work and it's like I know but. they didn't want me. And um it's just. incredible, you know. Aluccino. Alpuccino is just to think I listened to. his book that he was promoting here. And. um and just him talking about like.

scenes in The Godfather and how he. finally convinced them he was he he was. right for the role from doing the scene. where he shoots the two guys in the. restaurant. But just thinking about at. one point there were people just like. working on that scene and trying to. figure out like how to do it's just so. weird to think that there was a time. before that scene existed and that that. scene is because of some decisions that. people kind of guessed at and we're just. figuring it out. Also, I love and this. has happened before too. I love the.

concept that there are crew people. going, "Who the is this guy?" I. know. And when they were shooting the. opening of The Godfather takes place at. the at the big wedding at Marlon. Brando's estate and everyone's uh you. know dancing and having fun and they cut. over to uh Michael and Kay and he's. really underplaying it. You know he's. just uh he's just out of the army and. he's explaining who people are. Oh. that's Luca Bratzi. He works for my. father. He takes care of what does your. father do? Michael. But apparently those.

dailies came back and the the people at. I guess it was Paramount maybe were. like, "What? Who is this droopy noodle. of a guy in a big army hat? He's. terrible." Yeah. Um and like zero. charisma. Zero charisma. And he's not. being and and the crew the crew is like, "What's with this guy?" And apparently. the other time that happened a graduate. Yeah. So Dustin Hoffman is, you know, the the in the book The Graduate, the.

Graduate is uh blondhaired, blue-eyed, and so they wanted like Robert Redford. That was who it was supposed to be. And. the big brave decision was, "No, it's. going to be this little known actor, theater actor Dustin Hoffman." Yeah. Um. who's uh not a blondhaired, blue-eyed uh. kid. And the crew and everyone is like, "What. the fuck?" Yeah, this guy's mumbling. The same crew. What about I know. Hey, trust me. This is the Hey, trust me. I.

just didn't believe in what they were. working on. This is the crew I had at. late night in '93, 94, and 95 cuz we. inherited Dave. And I swear to God, people were I I don't blame them, but. they were like, you know, they had just. had David Letterman. Wait, you had. Dave's crew? I had a third I Yeah, his. cork. I had his camera some of his. camera because they stayed behind. Dave. went to CBS and and took some people but. there was a core and I don't blame them. There was like cable pullers and stuff. and David Letterman uh after 11 years of.

you know reinventing the format and. dominating has has now gone on to. greater. heights. and they're like they got this new kid. here. He comes and I and I and I come in. and I I'm like hi everybody. My name's Conan. I know. Uh, anyway, I. like improv. We're gonna try some weird. stuff. I don't know. I think it's gonna. be okay. Hey, does anybody What dries up.

acne? Does anybody know? Like, I still. had acne break out occasionally and I'd. be like, "Does anyone cuz I use this. stuff. Is there something better?" And. these hard and and why are you asking. the crew about your acne? I don't know. and these guys reach out to everyone. asking if anyone has any. recommendations. I open the shows with. it often. Hi, if anyone's out there. watching, it's it just keeps I think. it's uh it might be cystic. I don't. know. It comes back. But um but that was. the thing that blew my mind was the uh.

the the and I didn't blame them, but. there were just I mean there were guys. on my crew that had worked on Sullivan. when the Beatles played there. Wow. And. I would ask them like what was that. like? And they were guys from Long. Island. Yeah. You know, and uh they. they'd say stuff like um I don't know. I. I was mad cuz I was It's a Sunday night. I'm not supposed to work Sunday night. I'm on the And then they call me cuz. Steve got I got to come in. And so I'm. up in the but it was the Beatles. It was.

the Beatles. I'm like a lot of I don't. know. They have hair. I don't. know. And then I'm on the way home and. the carburetor blows out. So that. you know? And I don't get paid. over time. And you're like, that's their. memory of it. Yeah. You're like, great, this was a really special talk that we. just had. Thank you very much.