Paul Scheer (FULL EPISODE) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

[music]. Hi, my name is Paul Sheer and I feel. optimistic about being Conan O'Brien's. friend. Well, I hate to break it to you, buddy. >> Oh, I knew it. I knew [laughter] it. >> It's a crusher optimism, but this is all. for tax purposes. You understand that? [laughter]. >> Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien. Needs a Friend. >> Joined as always by Sona and Matt. Hi. Uh, nice to see you both. And, uh, we.

have a little bit of a follow-up we need. to do today because. >> our, um, audio genius, Eduardo, >> uh, was invited to speak at a career. day. Is this right? >> That's right. >> Why don't you tell us, Eduardo? Uh, fill. us in in case anyone missed the last. episode where you set the table. >> No problem. So, just to refresh the. audience, I got invited by my cousin. who's a teacher at Altaloma High School, Mr. Moreno uh to speak to their students. as part of a career day.

>> to tell them what you do. >> to tell them what I do and to refresh. We talked a little bit about well these. are high school students. >> None of us have any confidence that they. will know anything about this podcast. And so there was a concern that you. would get up and say, "Okay, I I work on. this podcast needs a friend." and you'd. just get blank faces, which would be. totally appropriate and also make me. feel better about the country. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> If if young people didn't know us. Uh so.

what happened? >> So as you mentioned, I was terrified. going into it, but thanks to you guys, everyone here participated and gave me. some pointers. So I decided that night. that we had the discussion to put. together like a 5minute sizzle reel. Yeah. We thought maybe a sizzle reel. would be good where you're showing them. people us with people they may uh may. like. >> Exactly. Uh so I did that and I showed. up and I got to speak to three total. classes. Uh about 25 students each. >> A total of 80 students I think is what I.

counted. And I kept track for you. because I wanted to report back as to. who may be aware of your work. >> Mh. >> It was a total of seven students. Seven. out of how many? >> 80. >> Okay. You know what? I was I do the. percentage on that. >> Yeah. >> A little less than 10%. Who am I. kidding? I don't know how. >> A little less than 10%. >> Okay. A little less than 10%. Well, listen, these are high school students, >> right? >> Yeah. >> Um and uh they probably know, you know, Tate McCrae. >> Oh. >> Uh you know what I mean?

>> Yeah. And and listen, I'm the first one. to tell you I'm no Tate McCrae. >> I'm the first one to ask who's Tate. McCrae. >> She's a big huge star right now. Uh, you. know, I'm no uh Sabrina Carpenter, >> you know, and I'm no Dual Lia. I'm also. uh no, um, you know, uh, ASAP Rocky. ASAP Rocky, you know. Uh, I like to. spell it out ASAP. >> I know, but it's weird when you do that. >> I know. Uh, so I get it. I get it. Now, my wounded. Yes.

>> I I'll just say that I gained a newfound. appreciation and respect for a high. school teachers. Uh that's a tough gig. Uh so shout out to all of them. They're. doing good work. >> Yeah. >> And I also weirdly got an appreciation. for people like you who get to stand in. front of crowds. Uh because at one point. I like ran out of all my material and I. was like should I start juggling? Like. what what do I do here? Um. >> but no, it was great. It was a pleasant. experience.

>> Which which uh clips did you show them. that they responded to? What stars would. they know that we've talked to? So, I. picked uh as you guys had suggested, I. picked Ryan Reynolds. I picked IO. Debris. >> Uh I did Billy Isish. And then I showed. some of your Hot Ones uh footage. >> Was that just met with horror? >> It got laughs. It got laughs. Um and. then a little brief uh opening of the. Oscars. >> Okay. >> Not the Demi Moore part, but you just. coming out. >> It was Billy Crystal hosting. [laughter].

>> Yeah. >> Yes. Exactly. >> I love that. And this is a show called. the Oscars. This is Billy Crystal. He. did it the correct way. Um, that's uh I. It's great that you did that. >> I I want to say six or seven kids raised. their hand, but I bet more know who you. are and are just ner No, you were. shaking your head. Oh, you were shaking. your head. No, they don't. >> That was between you and me. >> Oh, okay. I think a lot more kids know. of you. They're just I think there's. this nervousness about being like, I. know him. >> I don't I made the mistake that when cuz.

uh my cousin was taking RO. These aren't. normally his students. These were people. who were assigned to his classroom, >> right, >> to see whoever was speaking that day. >> Uh, one person had the last name O'Brien. and I confidently was like, "You might. know who he is.". >> And she just looked at me like, "Who are. you talking about, bro?". >> Tell them about the one guy. >> Okay. So, yes. So, [laughter]. >> this daughter. >> Yeah. The part that I was buried. I. guess I buried the lead. >> The sweetest part was at the very end. One of the students that had raised. their hands when asked if they knew who.

you were. >> uh came up to me at the very end. and. he's like, "Hey, can I just say I'm. actually a really huge fan of Conan. O'Brien's. >> that's nice.". >> Uh he says he watched a lot of your. clips from Late Night and he had a piece. of paper like notebook paper in his hand. and he started to proceed to ask me like. is there any way he could maybe and he. starts gesturing like that you would. sign something for him and I said, "Do. me a favor. Can you write your name on. the piece of paper?" Which. >> I brought with me. His name's Kane. I.

can't. name his last name. But here's the piece. of paper that. >> Kane B from Altaloma High School. >> Yes. Um. >> Oh, I love this kid. >> Yeah, he was a fan. Uh he was very. sweet, very sincere, and uh yeah, so I. thought that was cool. >> Well, Kane, uh listen, I I love that you. like our nonsense. Um and uh you truly. are one of a hundred. Uh [laughter]. you're a one in aundred person. Uh, and. um, yeah, we'll we'll we'll figure out.

something to send him. >> I think he wants you to sign that. >> He wants [laughter] me to sign this. >> He literally gave me that paper thinking. like if he could just sign this. And I. was like, we'll hook you up, Kane. >> Yeah, maybe we could get him more than. that, you know. Well, let's uh let's. let's see if we can elevate this for. Kane. What are we talking about here? What can we get him? A car. >> Oh, what? >> We can't get him a car. But. >> t-shirt. Yeah, we also have when we put. in the electrical stuff here, there's a. lot of ducting [snorts] that's left. over.

>> Stack on ducking. Oh my god. >> We could we could sign some ducting. >> Yeah. >> Okay, Kane, you heard it here. >> Kane, you know the the the metal sheets. that go around electrical cables? >> I'll get you a section of that. I'll. sign it to you. No. Oh, we have some. swag. We can sign some swag for them. >> Yeah. I think this shows that we're all. really desperate to have high school. students think we're cool, >> right? Isn't that what it is? I think. they're the scariest audience you can. possibly have. >> I don't even try with high school kids. I would not try. I would I would uh I.

would flee the area. >> Um but uh but if someone like Kane is. out there, we'll make them happy. >> Yeah. >> And they were great, by the way. Like. all the students were engaged. I set up. a little mini podcast setup where they. can come speak on mic and act as a. producer and stuff like that. I have to. say I'm glad you did this because. anytime in my life I run across a. teacher. I'm I just tell them I I'm I'm. awed. I'm in awe of teachers. I just. think it's the it's the greatest.

profession. And uh I do think we have. our priorities way out of whack in this. country. Insanely uh because um they are. they are essential. They're just. amazing, incredible people. >> and uh they change lives. And so, um, my shout out to your teacher. friend. What's the name? >> Uh, my cousin Angel Moreno. Mr. Moreno. >> Yeah, >> it's Moreno. >> Moreno. >> Yes. >> Uh, God. >> Wow. >> Yeah. Incredible. Sorry. >> Rap sign. [laughter].

>> Yeah. >> It's a rap. >> Okay. >> Um. All right. Well, cool. My guest. today hosts the podcast How Did This Get. Made? And unspooled. He also has a. YouTube web series titled Dark Web. Uh. he is a lovely fellow, very funny and. I'm so glad that he could make time for. us. Paul Shear, welcome. [music]. So great that you're here. I love.

talking to you and we realize like you. we haven't talked to you in a long time. There's much to discuss. >> Absolutely. >> And I'm just trying to remember, you. know, because you would do bits on my. show back in the day. What was our first. encounter? Do you remember? I'm trying. to remember because it was a chaotic. time. >> Well, you know, so girls were tearing my. clothes [laughter] off. >> I know. [laughter]. >> Giving you scarves and hats. >> Screaming women. >> Screaming women used to charge me and.

clothe me [laughter] more because they. couldn't handle it. >> They're like, "It's not good." It was. really exciting to come on the show. because it was my first like real foray. into like real professional like acting. I had to join the like. >> that can't be true. >> It was because we could not have been. your first professional experience. >> I was doing shows at midnight called. Robot TV which is like an improvised. show uh by robots for robots. [laughter].

So yeah. So this was a giant step up. Uh. this was this is a huge leap for me. >> and even robots wouldn't watch it. No, >> it's going to be big in a couple of. years though. >> We walked audiences so much. It was we. had a guy on bass guitar playing like. music that was not that was not um. pleasant to hear, someone operating a. slide projector and we did the show at. midnight. So people were leaving in. droves but [laughter] getting getting. >> where are you going?

And that's how by the way. >> this is my living. >> and that's how we all talked. We thought. that would be great to have everyone. just talking like I am here and we. worshiped our god land out land. >> I just love a robot being upset that. people I have slots to fill with slots. to feed. >> So getting to go on your show was a. giant big deal and uh and a lot of the. times it was in these like these bigger. pieces. So I was just talking about this. the other day. There was a a bit and I.

don't remember the conceit but it was. like oh uh summer's over so it's the. return of the beach apes and so we all. sounds first of all I have no memory but. it sounds exactly right us picking. something that's completely you there's. a fragment there which is summer's over. right. >> now most shows would have said summer's. over so we're going to do a bit about. dressing for fall no that means the. arrival of beach apes. >> it was like it [laughter] like the the. apes had like let the beach be open to.

humans during [laughter] the summertime. and now we are back. So we all got don't. [laughter] hang out at the beach. >> We all got dressed up in these, [laughter]. you know, ape gorilla costumes and you. know they had probably a couple good. ones. It's so clear how this got green lit. >> I [laughter] know. >> I'm the guy that said that sounds right. Also, if anything had an ape in it, I. was immediately yes. >> Uh, you have to do ape bits. The.

>> We had one character which was uh. [laughter]. they said, you know, of course uh in in. Planet of the Apes, Ape, you saw apes. rode horseback. Behold, uh a horse. riding ape BACK [laughter]. >> and a horse came out on an ape's back. >> Uh anyway, but go ahead and continue. I. want to hear about these apes. I want to. say. >> your costume was not primo. >> Well, look, you know, whenever you're in. a situation where you have like 28 apes, the quality is going to go downhill.

[laughter] really quickly. >> There's always three good. It's like in. a zombie film, the zombies that are. closest to camera got the most time in. the chair. And zombies, you know, if a. horde is charging, the ones that are way. in the back, they just put pe picked. people with eczema. They just [laughter]. they didn't even put it. >> We had definitely we look like sick dogs. like [laughter]. splotchy patches of fur ripped off and. and uh we had to put on the feet and if. you know like these ape costumes they. were like these big feet and they drove.

us out to Jones Beach and they're like. get over this sand dude. >> I saw location. Oh we drove we drove. like 45 man. Sorry we were a real show. We got to get to [laughter] the beach. And so we all hid behind this sand dune. like all 20 of us. And then someone. yelled action and then in these costumes. in the sun with these big feet were. trying to run up sand dunes to like run. at camera. The beach apes are coming. back. And that was it. That was it. The. bit was just we ran up a sand dune.

People were falling all over each other. because we didn't know how to work the. feet. And it was a bit that was just. like oh the beach apes were back. >> over the hill with like Congo music like. And that was. >> And your face wasn't even on camera. >> Oh god. No, no. I [laughter] mean, majority of the bits I did, my face was. I was covered. I was in whale costumes. It was It was great, though. It was the. best the best gig. >> This is an upgrade from the robot show. >> 100%. [laughter] Well, I was getting. paid. At least I was getting paid for. that. >> The robots were watching at home. [laughter] and seeing Paul on late night.

and going, "He's doing well. Everybody's. come up in the world.". >> Robots, apes, cowboys. That's the. hierarchy. >> Yeah, it is. It is. Yeah. I would go. home and I'd have a tape of all my like. Conan bits and then show my parents. I'm. like, "Look, I'm on TV. [laughter]. Here's I'm that ape. You see the one in. the back with the patchy uh the. >> Are you an ape? Are you [laughter] an. ape again?". >> Well, at least he's not doing the robot. show anymore. >> Yeah, that was so that was like really. like just getting to hang out with. everybody in that that hallway because.

we'd be hanging out in the hallway, we'd. wait, we either go somewhere. I mean, the the grossest thing I ever did for. your show was uh a desk drive piece, right? So, the desk would drive around. >> I would I would say, "It's time to take. the desk out for a ride. It's a. beautiful day." Yeah. Andy would slide. over next to me. And then using very. primitive uh rear screen projection, I. would, you know, put a steering wheel on. the desk and drive it around. And they. actually, because the bit was popular, they made it a ride. What? at the NBC.

experience store where you could sit. behind a desk and ride with Conan. [laughter] And I've met people over the. years that have said to me, now they're. in their 30s, but they were like, when I. was eight and it was my, you know, I was. with my parents in Rockefeller Center. and I took a ride with you. Remember? >> No, I wasn't there. I [laughter] mean, you you shook the hand of the fake robot. at Disneyland and then asked Reagan, "Does he remember?" [laughter].

>> We did a test drive piece where you were. driving through the meatacking district. before the meatacking district was a. fancy cool place. It was when it was a. meatacking district. Disgusting. And we. were Hari Krishna's. So again, I was in. like, you know, a very small, you know, like just practically naked. And you. know, my body is not a sight to be seen. unclothed. You know, it's it's and. especially back then, uh, it was even. worse. Uh, and and I had a bald cap on.

and you were you said, "Oh, look, there's Harry Krishna." And then you ran. us over. >> Yeah. >> So then when you ran us over, we had, >> you know, having fun with a hate crime. You [laughter] know what it is. >> These people are different than me. [laughter]. And Q applause. They as they as as we did it, they were. like, "Okay, now you guys have to lay. down on the ground in the meat packing. district," which at the time smelled. like blood and it was disgusting. And.

and I remember just being on the ground. looking at the other people like, "How. much how much longer do we have to be. down?" Cuz it smelt and then and we're. like, "No, no, I think we got we got to. keep it going longer longer." So, we. were down on that ground for such a long. time, and I remember it was one of the. only uh times where I couldn't get that. smell off because I was pretty much. naked laying in like, you know, uh blood. meat, you know, and it was [laughter]. like viscera that was just out in the. street. And I just remember like all of.

us coming home again in a van smelling. disgusting. Yeah, it was Well, >> but I wouldn't have missed it for the. world because it was like it was you're. working and. >> Yeah. >> I will say that that like the best. moment of all time was when Kirk Douglas. came on the show. >> Yes. >> He walked down had a stroke. >> He had had a stroke. >> But he came out uh Yeah. It was It was. amazing. >> He and he walked down this hallway and. he grabbed my face and held it and he's. like, "Look at this. This is amazing.

This is what it TV is." Oh my god. >> Yeah. You know, and he was like looking. at, you know, like I'm in like I'm in. the body of a whale suit. He's next to a. clown. >> A horse a horse just went by on eight. back. [laughter]. >> KIRK WAS LIKE, "A HORSE IS ON EIGHT. BACK.". >> It felt electric every night. You were. and you you would spend the whole day. there like and you did something cuz a. show happened and you would you'd. rehearse the bit with you earlier in the. day and everything was on camera for. seconds. I mean it was staring contest.

whatever it was. So, it was like you. also could have had like 15 people in, you know, just only be on camera for. like 5 seconds each. It was great. >> I can't believe [laughter]. >> it was it was a definite era because um. uh we also had it's crazy to think about. it now, but we had money to spend, right? >> Because we had a network. There weren't. that many late night shows. uh bunch of. people watching advertisers. And so we. would order up. all this, you know, not just livestock,

but you know, we'd hire actors and we'd. have things built and crazy contraptions. and then sometimes we'd just cut them at. rehearsal and you'd see like a depressed. >> a depressed, you know, whatever Statue. of Liberty made of sausages walking down. the street. [laughter]. that that, you know, Bill Tull was up. all night building that and it cost us. $2500. $. It c It cost the National. Broadcasting Company $2,500. And I'm.

like, eh, it doesn't quite work. It It. gets the laugh, but not the kind of. laugh we want. [laughter]. You're out, Sausage Liberty. [music]. I was never thinking what does America. want? How can I appeal to America? It. was. Yeah, it's a very self-centered. thing. It's this is the I like. I'm. going to do it. If they stop it, well,

that's too bad. >> I always say I always say like when. people ask for advice like how do I get. into comedy or how do I do it? It's like. it's less about how do you get in, it's. more about finding a group of. like-minded people that will support it, right? Because failing on stage with. people who are all dressed in robot. costumes is a lot easier than failing on. stage as one person in a robot costume, you know, and it's like, oh, you like. it, great. And if you like it, then I am. I feel good, right? And then and that's. and I feel like that's. >> And by the way, this is how cults. thrive. [laughter].

>> No, I I do have I do have seven wives. now and they're very funny and we all. have a great um but yeah, like I think. you know and I but it is you're exactly. right. This is uh there's something. about. if you're being if you're on stage alone. in a robot costume. uh you are an or insane. >> if you're up there with [laughter] Wow. >> bold take. >> Yeah. If you're up there uh with three. of your friends,

>> right, >> and you're all dressed as robots. Um. you're in the best situation you can. have in this world. you by by the way. you're reminding me of one of my epic. failures which was um uh we were asked. to do the show Stella and in New York. City Stella was this like offshoot of. what the state was. It was Michael Ian. Black um uh David Wayne and Michael Sha. Walter and it was like the most popular. comedy show in New York. You'd see the. biggest stand-ups get there and go there. modern Markx brothers. I love it. >> Yes. It was this amazing show and we got.

asked, our uh improv/ketch. group, Respectto Montaban, got asked to. uh perform [laughter]. at this. >> You really did not want an audience. >> High barrier of entry. [laughter]. >> Respect. >> You have to first acknowledge you get. why it's funny [laughter] that that's. our name before you can enter the. theater. So, we got asked to do a bit at. the show and we're like, "This is a big. deal." And so, of course, instead of.

doing a bit that we were sure of, we're. like, "We got to come up with a new bit. that no one's ever seen." essentially. testing out a bit for the first time. ever in front of the biggest people. ever. And we decided we were going to be. uh the Blue Man Group. So, we painted. our faces blue. We're in these costumes. And the whole idea was that we're doing. our Boom Man Group bit and one audience. member isn't laughing at us and then. we're like upset with that audience. member and that audience member is a. plant and we take her and we bring her.

backstage and you hear some yelling. Um, and as we're backstage it cuts to a. video clip and it's us like killing her. or like she act she accidentally falls. in a pipe, she gets it through, she dies. and then we don't know what to do. We. have blood all over our blue faces and. we come on out. The video machine did. not work. >> Oh no. >> So we go backstage and we're like, "Do. you hear? I don't hear anything. Do you. hear anything?" Like we don't hear. anything. And we're rubbing blood all. over our face and we're getting all. ready. And then we hear uh the projector.

projector doesn't work. And now we're. blue and bloody and we have no way to. connect like from where the audience had. seen us on stage to what the video is. supposed to [laughter] cover. And and we. can't talk cuz we're Blue Man Group. AND. WE [laughter]. >> I forgot you you can't do a meta thing. where you explain those. No, >> we were like, we are Blue Man Group. We're doing this bit and so and then but. all of us were like, we can't again. We're can't break character. So we walk.

out covered in blood and blue. We just. walked off stage and we just said thank. you. And then to to complete and utter. silent audience did not know what. happened and we were crushed but I. remember like once we left that place. which we did immediately you have to. leave if you bomb in a place. >> you can never go back and in fact you. have to have the place burned down. >> Yeah. We were like we need to commit our. oh yeah we need to commit arson here to. >> the actual blue man group was shut down.

after [laughter] that. >> We got to find shutter for three years. But I will never forget the feeling of. sitting in a bar. with mostly blue emble we haven't been. able to clear it off our faces sitting. and drinking beers with these other. people who are also like that just being. like h well it all went down together. >> It's so funny that you bring that up. that that world of of bombing with an. idea that you were in love with. And I. have to say.

there's the sting of bombing, but later, especially if you did it with other. people, it can be one of the funniest. things in the world. It's such a funny. memory. And. >> you know, uh, me. >> being on stage on camera doing a. national show with an insane idea and it. didn't land. And I know that people were. welding last night to build [laughter]. to help make this work. There was. actual, you know,

engineers, unions, people had drawn. plans and you're there and then, well, I. guess, you know, I guess uh whatever. Hercules toilet was pretty mad. >> and people are like greet [laughter]. greet. And I have to say there was. always part of me that was secretly. delighted. It's it's there's a show that. goes on inside your own soul that's. maybe the funniest show of all. >> But but then you have to continue to. stay on stage cuz most people bomb and.

it's like okay next. And you have to be. like all right we're back and you you so. I mean I imagine your tolerance for like. you have to like digest it and then let. it go immed. >> No, there's no tolerance. I have very. low tolerance to this day. It's just I. might be a masochist, meaning [laughter]. it hurts a lot. >> And uh and I didn't I I still don't. brush things like that off easily. If. something doesn't go well or even if a. small thing doesn't go well, I try to. pass it off as well come, you know, the.

audience got the show they got or that's. what happened, right? >> But then I walk around for a week as if. I've been shot by like a 22. >> You got a little shrapnel. Um, I had a a. bit that Oh, I look back on it now, but. it was the worst bit. Seth Meyers was. hosting the SPS. >> Yep. >> All right. So, I have to put it in a. little bit of context. During that year. of the SPS, >> there was a riot that broke out after. the NHL Championship and it was in.

Canada and there was this very famous. image of a guy cradling a woman and it. looked like he was kissing her. >> Oh, I remember that. >> Remember that? So it was like it was it. looked almost like that um World War II. photo of like the you know the the. officer in the street. Yeah. So they're. kissing in the middle of a riot and Seth. was like, "Okay, we'll we'll do that bit. like this is going to be we have so many. famous people in the crowd, you know, there's Gronk, there's this guy and oh, we have the the the kissing couple from.

the riot.". >> And so it was supposed to cut to me and. Lennon Pum. Lennon's great comedian. And. uh. >> we as it cuts us, we're just kissing, >> right? >> So now, as I explained that bit to you. years later, that's how familiar the. audience was with this bit. [laughter]. So. We start kissing. >> crickets. >> Crickets. >> So, they didn't know the reference. >> They didn't know the reference at all. They didn't show an image. They didn't. do anything. They just said it. Now,

we're now I'm sitting next to uh. Brooklyn Decker, Jonah Hill, and I feel. like Dwight Howard, you know, like like. we're in this like grouping of people, and you know, cuts us dead silent. We're. just making out making out. Dead. silence. Now, the bit is uh contracted. to happen three more times throughout. the show. >> And so I go, "Well, they're clearly. going to cut the bit coming back." No, they didn't cut the bit. And every. single time it died. It almost like then.

the audience got mad. The second time it. was like, "They're doing this again. We. didn't like We didn't like this.". >> Yeah. No, we voted on this. >> Yeah. Yeah. This was. >> No. No. He is not your return to office. >> Yeah. And so like then like the third. time we're doing it again. Now the. audience is angry at us [laughter]. and I will never forget this moment. We. the fi we had worked our way from the. seats all the way to the stage. It was. the final act of the show. Seth killing. it. Everything working except for this. bit and we're like I was going out there. with London. I'm like okay we got to do.

this one more time and this is great. I'm watching Twitter just be like this. bit sucks. These guys suck. You know. it's like oh no. And uh we kiss. gets. nothing and I walk off and there's Jay. Leno just standing off to the side of. the stage, denim on top, denim on bottom. >> and goes, "Yeah, didn't work.". >> And I was like, [laughter]. like for like that was the end. I was. like, "Yeah, it didn't work. It didn't. [laughter] work." Like like I know it. didn't work, but be told like Jay was.

like, "Yeah, it was like it was. >> it was a mortifying experience. I never. walked with a my head so low. >> Oh my god. And a sports audience, too. I. feel like they're even worse. Right. The. >> hardest audience. >> Aren't they hard? >> Oh, but you know what? >> Not as hard as Lento. >> Yeah. [laughter]. Look, >> he showed himself to be very supportive. That's the important thing. [laughter]. >> The um the uh um he does that too. He. hangs outside operating rooms [laughter].

and when the patient flat lines, he. goes, "Didn't work." And the woman's. crying. That's my husband of 35 years. [laughter] Heart stop. See me on Sunday. I can do a live show on Sunday. >> I'll be at the car show. >> He wasn't even performing at the he was. there. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> We couldn't save your son. Didn't work. >> Um, so anyway, let's not get distracted. or off on a tangent. >> Sorry. >> Humans are good. [laughter]. >> One of the funniest things though, I. don't know if it was the SBS or what,

but it might have been the SPS was. [laughter]. Will I think it was Will Frell came out. as Harry Kerry? Okay. Have you ever seen. this footage? He comes out as the. Chicago announcer Harry Ky who's got. like a big way of talking kind of like. this with big fake teeth and Harry Kerry. is just slamming different doing jokes. on different people uh famous athletes. in the audience and they are not. laughing and they're insulted and it's. the funniest thing. It's great. It's.

great because I mean it's it's just like. watching snuff or something. But I'm. enjoying. >> Excuse [laughter] me. Yeah. How do you. >> Am I right about that? Which was it? Was. it Jim? Uh. >> uh 1998 ESPs. It was Will Feroh's Harry. Carrey. >> Will Faroh's Harry Carrey. And I think. he's saying things like, you know, you. know, John Elway saved a lot of money. cuz he he still didn't get his teeth. fixed. [laughter] And they'll cut to. John Elway just staring. And I love it. I'm sorry. I'm I apologize that people.

had a bad time that night, but I I think. it's wonderful. >> I mean, it is. >> You look at me like I'm a horrible. person, but it's something about. >> You don't like bombing, but you're You. laugh at other people bombing. >> No, no, no. I'm not. You're missing the. point. I love what Will is doing. I am. pro. It's really funny to me. And I think. even if I was doing that and people were. angry, I think I'd be d laughing inside. I'd be I'd be falling apart. >> You'll appreciate this note. Norm. McDonald hosted that. >> Yes. Norm McDonald hosting, which is.

perfect. Yes, I knew Norm. That's right. I knew that. >> Norm did that bit for one of the roasts. where he just did old roast jokes that. were like 1950s style and it was like in. a bombed in a room. It's one of my. favorite things. >> And that's the thing, too, is there's. bombing can be divine. So you you've. taken this love you have for sometimes. niche ideas. >> uh that could only exist if a certain. kind of show is around but now the world. I think has grown with you where you can. do these podcasts you do these other.

projects that are phenomenally. successful and you don't have to make. any kind of concession the stuff that's. in your head. >> can be presented. >> uh without any kind of filter and it's. like how did this get made is you and. your wife and Menukus getting to do your. thing. >> It's just hanging out and just doing. bits with friends. And I think you're. right like this idea of getting to just. make your own thing and playing to a.

niche audience and you know and like and. I think you can play to big audiences. too, but like just being able to have an. outlet where people like seeing the. seams like you know if that makes sense. We're I did this show with Rob Pubil. called The Dark Web. Yeah. And we have. we are now in a world where we've. pretended our studio has burnt to the. ground. We've only been eating mustard. and raw hot dogs and now we have. envisioned ourselves as hosts of a kids. YouTube show and we've actually made. like a it will only be on kids YouTube.

now. Like we got it approved by YouTube. Like I'm like. >> do any research on you? [laughter]. >> Like we were we were literally full. circle back to the robot show. 100% like. we did a full kid show and YouTube has. like been very supportive but like you. just can't associate it with the other. thing but it's like yeah we just get to. go down this weird path and I don't know. I mean it's a for I guess the idea is. like you're not making it for anyone but. you're making it for the that you think. it's funny and I feel like it's so hard.

because people will tell you a million. times like oh that doesn't work. I. remember one person uh when I was doing. a sketch show for Fox, they were like, "Oh, that that's not funny." And that's. a hard note to get because it's the only. thing that you well it could be funny to. me. It's not funny to you. It's like. there's no one baseline of funny. No one. ever says like that's not dramatic. It's. like well yeah, you know, dramas don't. get judged the same way comedies do. I. think yeah, it's weird. >> If they just put I don't think that's. funny, >> right? That saves that's that makes them. much more human to me and then at least.

we can have a conversation. >> Yeah. And I don't think everybody needs. to find everything funny. Like, you. know, it's like you look at certain. comedians, they'll sell out an arena and. it's like that may not be my cup of tea, but clearly it's working. I don't think. that they're not funny. It's just like. it's not for me, >> right? >> You know, um, but then you also get to I. think when you get those bigger things. through, it's insane. I did a a thing. for Adult Swim. Michael Lazo used to let. us make 3:00 a.m. infomercials and he's. like whatever as long as you just like.

it's got to be weird. And [laughter] so. I I was like I said to him I was like I. want to make one where it's just like a. hotel TV like it just looks like you're. in a hotel room and this is like an ad. for the hotel that you're in. And he's. like all right. And we got Ray Wise to. host this thing and was a a hotel that. was clearly built on Native American. land. and the and they have come back to. haunt this hotel and they're and like. and there the transmission's getting. like altered throughout it and they're. being told like to leave the hotel and.

and he's very like very much like Steve. Win like come in here and you'll get a. massage like and you'll die and you'll. die here [laughter]. >> and you know and it was like and we. could make a 15minute long. >> thing for I mean whoever's up at 3:00. a.m. Well, that was too the magic of. when you mentioned 3:00 a.m. the magic. of um making things and people will find. it or they won't, >> right? >> That's kind of a magic thing where, you. know, we were on at 12:30 and till 1:30.

And I just always think that time slot. helped us a lot, >> right? >> Because there was no internet. People. were seeing it and often thinking, is. this really happening or am I just, you. know, >> right? It's sort of like you're getting. a mentality. Like I used to love doing. like these 11:00 p.m. shows because. anyone who comes out for an 11 p.m. show. is up for something completely different. than people coming out for a 7:30 or an. 8:00 show, right? And it's like if. you're up at 12:30,

>> you're down to you're down to go. >> I had a different way of thinking of it, which is it's your fault. [laughter]. >> If you're up at 12:30, you are complicit. in this crime. [laughter]. and get ready for some apes on a beach. cuz you should be sleeping you. [laughter] creep. Um, so on the show How. Did This Get Made, which I did once and. I think we did How did this uh Look. Who's Talking Too. >> Yes. >> I think it was the second one. >> Yes. 20. >> Um.

>> or Too, sorry. >> That was crazy what you just did. [laughter] Um that was really insane. >> This man's having a seizure. Uh, >> but that feels like it would be the gift. that just keeps on giving. This the the. podcast is is is massively successful. There's no shortage of movies where you. would say, "How did this get made?" And. they keep making more of them. Well, I. think that that's the thing that we've. loved is, you know, that everything gets. started with the best intentions. Any. movie that I've been on Yeah.

>> it's like, "Oh, this is going to be. good. This is going to be, you know, we. don't see it, but it's going to be. good." You know, it's like no one goes. in being like, "This this is a stinker.". >> I think sometimes they do, [laughter]. >> but but but mostly not. Mostly not. >> Yeah. So, you go into it and you're. like, you're, you know, and I think. what's so funny is that we try to look. at it from that point of view like, well, this this was the best of all. You. know, everyone was trying to make. something here and then all of a sudden. your budget gets slashed and you just. get ripped apart. And when we watch. these shows like Jason takes Manhattan, that's Friday the 13th, part 8.

>> Yeah. >> He is in Manhattan for 5 minutes. Yeah. >> Okay. And it's Canada. >> And it's Canada. >> All right. Walk me through this movie. I. don't I don't know this movie. So, take. me through it and Matt, jump in. This is. your. >> terrain. It's It's It's Friday the 13th, part 8. Jason takes Manhattan. Okay. >> It is taking place primarily on a senior. cruise as they leave Crystal Lake, which. I guess connects. >> That's the big mystery is how Crystal. Lake here to for a small mountain lake. suddenly connects to the Hudson River. >> Yes. and they're on a a two night cruise.

to get to New York. >> So, it's a cruise that goes from a lake. in Canada maybe or. >> from New Jersey. And it's and everyone. loves a cruise that starts in a lake in. New Jersey and makes its way. >> probably partially overland. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Manhattan. Yeah. Everyone in a Herzog. movie. [laughter]. >> And and it's not a attractive cruise. under. It's a It's a barge. It does look. like a barge. It's very much the ship.

they could get for the movie. >> Yes. >> And do they try and make this ship look. like something that people would want to. >> try is a charitable word. >> God, I got to see this. >> It's like an engine room they go into at. one point. >> Yes. And they also um they also have a. disco which is very small but is the. most unappealing disco. It's like a. disco in an old age home. That's what it. kind of feels like. It feels like Yeah. like um and they also are trying not to. make it too uh too violent. So all the. deaths are very like just push you.

>> except the one guy gets his head punched. off. >> Yes. [laughter]. >> A boxer punched off. >> Punched off. Yeah. By Jason. >> So uh Jason takes on a boxer and the. boxer's trying to box him. >> Yeah. The boxers. That's actually I. would argue the funniest part of the. film which. >> a soft spot for this movie. >> Yeah. There are some good moments in it. There's a lot of cocaine within the. characters in the film. Like they're. they're on cocaine, so their reactions. to Jason are odd as well. They're a.

little bit more ready to fight this this. man. Um. >> they're old people. >> They say they're old [laughter] people. >> Well, I mean, this is a weird thing of '. 80s movies. Everyone who is in high. school looks about 35. >> Yeah. [laughter] And they might actually. be young. I don't know. Aging has. changed in a way. Uh Yeah. But the but. >> it actually has. [laughter]. >> It has. No, you look at a movie and like. a gnarled old Humphrey Bogart. I'll be. I'll tell you something, kid. And you. really see it. You'll look it up. And he. was 34. >> Yeah. [laughter].

What was that like? >> Wilfr Brimley and Cocoon was only like. 40. He's much younger than than they. they put a picture up of Wilfford. Brimley from. >> Cocoon or The Natural and they'll say. he's like eight years younger than Paul. Rudd. And [laughter] in the picture of. Paul Rudd, he looks like Oh, he's a he. looks like a scoop of sherbet. He's. [laughter] delicious. >> Well, I mean, I always think about like. Lethal Weapon. Danny Glover's character. is like, I'm too old for this He. was 42, [laughter]. >> you know? It's like, wow. All right.

Like, and he's like, he's the old. >> I think we live in an era where no one. We don't really grow up. We didn't go. off and fight World War II. >> We didn't we didn't start smoking when. we were 15. We didn't have to We didn't. get shot at. >> We didn't live a hard life. >> Yeah. We then didn't, you know, drink. ourselves into oblivion every night. after our soul crushing job. WE LET'S. IMPROVISE. >> Let's [laughter] get on stage and be. robots. >> Yeah. Let's be robots ON STAGE. BUT. FIRST, MY SMOOTHIE. YAY.

>> How much? $15 for a smoothie. What a. bargain. [laughter]. >> What a bargain. >> It is a bargain. >> Well, time to get into my LITTLE. ELECTRIC CAR AND GO HOME.UM, YUM, YUM, YUM, YUM, YUM. 9 hours of. sleep. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. [laughter] Where's my. apps? Boo. I CAN'T BELIEVE I CAN'T FIND. ONE. OH, there it is. [laughter]. >> What the hell? >> That's the whole world now. It is. It's. It's weird. I And I'm I'm not doing the. old man thing. I'm that guy. >> No, I mean, look, I I did something. weird. We have a trick or trunk at my.

kids school where you can um you. decorate your trunk like a haunted. house. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And um. >> anything that involves kids in the trunk. of YOUR CAR. [laughter]. GET IN THERE. >> There's a little thing we do WITH KIDS. IN TRUNKS. >> I WAS TOLD A TRICK OR TRUNK. >> OH, I I was. >> We call it a trunk or treat. >> Oh, okay. So, maybe I'm Maybe I. >> I call it kidnapping. [laughter] We all. have our We all have our different fun. names for it. >> I I did get in trouble uh one year for.

my trunk or treat, which was uh I. thought this would be a really funny. idea. >> and and do it. You do need to explain. what trunk is cuz I still don't know. what it is. It sounds creepy. So, basically what uh it is is uh on. Halloween day uh it's a chance for the. kids at a school probably up to like. sixth grade to trickor treat with their. classmates. All the parents come, they. pop their trunk, they decorate their. trunks in different ways. So, you know, like one person has a Star Wars trunk, one person has, you know, My Little Pony. trunk, whatever it is. And it's cute.

The kids go around from from trunk to. trunk and it's a little bit of a. Halloween parade. I never knew about it. Didn't happen to me when I was a kid. didn't exist. >> No. Didn't exist. Yeah. >> So, this is like a special thing. It's. kind of great to go to school and and do. it. I volunteer every year. I love doing. it. And in the beginning, I was like, "Well, part of it is supposed to be. scary, right?" And uh no, the answer is. no. These are for young children. It. should not be scary for them. >> I learned that. And so, I uh I thought. it would be funny. [laughter]. >> The theme of your life seems to be I.

didn't get the memo. BUT I WHAT I DIDN'T. know [laughter]. that these little preschoolers didn't. need to be scared. Now, um I thought it. would be funny that I set up a San Diego. zoo. And the way I set up the zoo is I I. got like some stansions. I got a a a zoo. uniform and um I also got a gorilla. costume. Now, uh. >> you mean you stole our gorilla? [laughter]. >> I took it. I kept it. I was like, "One. day." Yeah. Um, and I thought it would. be funny to take my brother-in-law, uh,

strip him down to his underwear, uh, and. and, uh, undershirt, put him in the back. of my car as if he was in a cage, and. then me as the, uh, ape put on the San. Diego Zoo uniform, and I was like waving. the kids over. >> So, you're making social commentary as. well [laughter] for preschoolers. >> Wow. >> So, my brother-in-law's trapped in a. cage like, "Help, help." And I'm like, "Hey, check out here he is." And kids. were scared of the ape who had kidnapped.

the human. [laughter]. >> Did they cry? >> There was a few kids that were very. afraid to come to my trunk. [laughter]. >> And I He's okay. He's okay. But we did. mess up my brother-in-law's face, so he. looked like he had been in a fight with. me as well. Uh, [laughter]. >> you still didn't learn. So you bloodied. him as you did backstage [laughter]. >> with the taped piece. >> If you can't scare kids on Halloween, then what can you do? >> You stripped his clothes off. >> Yeah. Well, you know, and then terrify a.

three-year-old. What kind of country do. we have? [laughter]. >> My my son now always will say to me, he's like, "You can't make it scary. Don't make it scary again." Like, I. guess he had gotten some some flak from. other kids in the school that I went too. hard on the uh trunk or tree. >> So, what are you doing this year? This. year, I'm keeping it simple. It's an. alien theme. >> Like the like the movie alien? >> No. No. [laughter] An alien is going to. be popping out of my car and I am uh. somebody who works at Area 51, but I got. one of those inflatable costumes. So,

the alien is grabbing me and I'm like, uh, my hands are like, YOU DID IT AGAIN. YOU DID IT AGAIN. >> I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S GOING TO HELP. Not going to work. >> Yeah. And I'm covered in acid and my. face is melting. [laughter]. >> Oh my god. Okay. Well, um, >> anyway, Jason ver Jason part, you should. watch it. I think you would like it. We. should bring. >> Jason Takes Manhattan. Yeah. And they. they do they shoot about 3 minutes of. B-roll in New York and the rest is. Vancouver. >> Okay. My one of my personal favorites. and I we may have discussed this, but uh.

the Death Wish movies are fantastic, but. there's but the further you go, the. later you get in the cannon of uh of of. death wishes canon films. >> Yeah. The more insane it gets. Um, and. there's one, I don't remember which. Death Wish it is, but I watched it with. uh our writer Matt O'Brien and I just. was the whole time I was in heaven. and. we were watching it together and it's. and a bunch of old people live in an. apartment complex. >> and then whatever they hear a lot of.

yelling and shouting and noise and they. look out the window and a motorcycle. gang has taken over the neighborhood and. they've surrounded the apartment. building and the old people are trapped. inside and one of they're terrified and. they don't want to go out. They don't. know what to do. They're trapped. They're old. They're scared. And they. pick up the phone. They make a phone. call. And then cut to um you know JFK. airport. A plane lands. Charles Bronson. gets out. >> No, actually I think specifically he.

rides the bus. This was so low. The. movie also the movie was so low budget. they didn't even want to pay for plane. landing footage. So um he gets off a bus. at the Port Authority and it's. Manhattan. He gets in, he's in the 30s, you know, he gets into a cab, he starts. driving, he starts driving north and. suddenly and the cab's driving along and. then they cut and suddenly the cab, it's. still supposed to be in Manhattan, like.

up north in Manhattan, like 150th. Street, but um I think they're now. shooting on a sound stage or they're in. Syria. But it. >> had a contract thing where he wouldn't. leave California because his wife was. there. >> Okay. Thank Thank God you're here. because I swear to God it switches to a. completely different ecosystem, an arid. desert that exists and there's some. fragments of a sidewalk and then Charles. Bronson shows up and his solution he. meets with the old people and has tea.

and then he decides don't worry I'll. help you. And so he has a concealed um. you know magnum and he walks around. killing them. [laughter]. >> Well and it's insane. >> It's so brutal. And he lacks the charm. of like Liam Niss like when Liam Niss's. like fighting off 15 people. It's like. it's like he's got something like. Charles Bronson just like I'm going to. shoot this guy's head off. That's it. Like it's like and it's it's it's. violent. But by the way, speaking of. insane ideas, there's a show I just saw. here in Los Angeles at Comedy Theater.

called Bronson Tonight, and it's Charles. Bronson hosting a show as his death wish. character. >> Is the uh is the impression good? >> It's great. And and it's and his. monologue jokes are, >> you know, uh they're they're labored, but they're stories about, you know, running into these these gangs of toughs. out in the street, but he's trying he's. trying his best to host a very. traditional talk show. He had a an. animal uh person on the show and he's. [laughter] interviewing karate people. But it's like it's no it's it's a great.

it's it really scratched the n itch that. I needed to be scratched to watch that. >> Dana Gould, who's absolutely hilarious, does Oh, yeah. He does Dr. Zas as a talk. show host. So funny. And it's and it is. note perfect. He's just fantastic. And. it's it's and what I love about the kind. of comedy we're talking about and the. kind of comedy that you've dedicated uh. your life to and wrongly I think very.

wrong should be. >> is um you come up with a premise and. it's just a big horse pill and you get. them to swallow it and then you're. you're good. Right. >> So Dr. Zas has a talk show. Charles. Bronson has a late night talk show. Conan O'Brien has a. >> Conan O'Brien [laughter] has a talk. show. >> No, it really is the same idea which is. um uh someone who shouldn't have a show. has a show, but we I think people comedy. tastes have uh I don't want to say that.

they've evolved, but they maybe have. deevolved or devolved. they uh to the. point where there's all this kind of. attenuated really cool um concept heavy. comedy that people will turn out for and. they'll watch and then there are shows. like Bojack Horseman, you know, or. really South Park. I mean to think that. South Park is one of the most. influential. shows. It's been on for 30 years. I. mean, >> do you remember when that like I.

remember getting like a a wave file of. just like the Christmas card cuz it. started off as a Christmas card. >> I got a pass along VHS tape on. Yeah. >> So, it was like that was like it was a. comedy currency and I mean that that. even started for me, you know, for lack. of a better or I mean. >> the Jerky Boys was like the tape that. everyone passed around and you be like, "Oh, have you heard it? Have you?". >> And then it became a movie and I. remember thinking, "How could this be a. movie?" And then I watched it and I. thought, "It can't be a movie. [laughter]. >> No way. I just answered my own question.

>> Um, >> but yeah, that kind of com that kind of. thing is really interesting the way that. people find each other or you want to. like share. >> But but it's fascinating now that um I. mean whatever we're doing here, we. really enjoy doing it. It's fun. We're. not trying to please anyone. we're just. we're just uh I think. >> enjoying each other's company and. talking to people and going off on weird. tangents and um you know uh it is become.

very successful and I'm I'm I'm only. bringing it up because I do think things. have changed drastically from the way. they were. >> 20 30 years ago. I think it's like. important to be able to explore anything. because anything can be a good idea or a. bad idea. It's all in the execution of. it, right? Like it's like you may hear. something like oo that will never ever. work. But. >> it can, you know, but you have to.

>> I think so many people are in this. business the before there's like this. gatekeeping of like you can't no no one. will ever like that. But if you can. actually execute it your own way and. show people no actually it works then I. don't know that's that's what I think. performing on stage right I love. performing on stage is like you still. get a chance to no one can say no to. that and no one can say no to making a a. video no one can say no to us making a. show for YouTube kids you know if we. wanted to do it and I think that. >> but someone should. >> someone should I mean technically we. will be arrest we will be arrested.

[laughter]. >> someone should intervene. >> but I think that that's like it's you. know cuz it's hard to sometimes explain. that nuance like why that would work, why that's interesting. >> A bunch of this you can't explain. You. just have to do it and the proof is in. the pudding. You just have to you do it. >> and then people go people are laughing, right? >> And they immediately accept, "Oh, that. was great. I always knew that would. work." Right. Exactly. >> And that's why I would be terrified to. be an executive. >> Oh, yeah. Because I I if someone said, "Hey, Conan, you've been in comedy a. long time, and.

>> why don't you we'll give you this job. at, you know, Paramount or Warner. Brothers, and you'll look at things and. tell us if they'll be successful or. not.". >> I don't know. It looks like a funny idea. to me, but then you try, you know, it. could be terrible. You There's a great. thing that gets passed around every now. and then, uh Paul Thomas Anderson's uh. uh Boogie Nights. It's script coverage. of Boogie Nights and it's like this. movie is terrible. The characters are. awful. It's too long and it's like this. long thing written by a studio person.

about why they were passing on this. script and it's the script that he shot. and you have to look at it and be like, "Oh yeah, you some not everyone's going. to see.". >> What if they found out that the guy who. wrote the coverage had a small penis. [laughter]. >> and it was all just it was all just. rage. This is terrible. How? >> No one could have a penis over 2 in. [laughter] What is this? Science. fiction. >> What is that? He has a third leg? I.

don't think so. [laughter] Penises are. tiny and they don't get bigger when. you're attracted to something. AND YOU. GO TO DOCTORS and they can't do a thing. Awful. Boo. [laughter]. >> Pass on this. And then what movies did. he uh [laughter]. >> What movies did you like? I liked the. tales of little wee wee. [laughter]. This amiable chap with a 1 in with a. 1-in pee pee [laughter]. nails seven broads in one night cuz.

that's the way ladies like it. [laughter]. >> All right, I should wrap this up, but. let's get that made. >> I'm ready to make this YouTube kids. >> Paul, thank you so much for stopping in. You're hilarious. And uh it was a lucky. day when our paths crossed and I'm just. >> very happy that uh you are wildly. successful with all these really funny. projects, you know, and uh. >> I say onward. Go onward.

>> Well, this is my one of my favorite uh. shows to listen to and you're just the. best. And and you know, talking about. comedy, I just want to say that your. travel show is truly like I think this. like one of the things that makes me. laugh so hard because Oh, >> good. It to me is like this. Yes, you're. amazing in this. You're hilarious. But. that like it feels like you get to do. this awesome sketch show that's like. globe trotting that you don't ever get. to see. >> It's a You know what? There are times. where it's really hard and I'm in a van. Yeah.

>> And you're in a a hot tropical climate. and you're thinking, I'm getting I'm no. spring chicken. [laughter] I'm still in. a van and someone's telling me, okay, jump out here in this toga and tackle. that guy over there who doesn't know you. and somehow make it funny. But it's also. uh yeah, I I I'm constantly stepping. outside my body and going, "What are you. doing?" But I really love it. And I. mostly love it's improv with people in. other lands who often. >> don't know who I am, >> right? and they don't even really speak.

English. But my happiest moments are. when if I can make a little kid laugh or. someone who. >> doesn't know who I am and doesn't speak. English laugh. >> because we're doing something pretty. primal, uh, then I'm happy. >> It's It's just cool to know that as much. as you like I I have a lot of respect. for people who still get up and try to. do like and do it like you're doing like. you don't have to be traveling all. around the world. Ashley, I'm [laughter].

you. They didn't tell you on the way in. I'm a terrible gambler. >> Oh man. Made so many bets on this. episode [laughter] even. I don't even. know. Well, it's a But I bet a few. million dollars that Paul will come in. wearing [laughter] A TANK TOP. NO. >> OH, MAN. Fan duel presents. Conan needs. a friend. [laughter]. Over on under and when it ends in. seconds. Okay. Uh I had to give I gave. money here, too. [laughter]. And then I'm arrested cuz I clearly. control when it ends.

>> Okay. No, Paul, TELL ME THAT'S OH, WAIT. DON'T TELL ME IT'S OVER. BYE. [music]. >> Not long ago on an episode, we were. talking about how Sona was going to be a. featured speaker in Q&A subject on a. panel for an assistance convention. We want to follow up and see. I want to. find out how did the how did it go? The. assistance convention. >> Here's the thing. If you are going to go. to like a summit or a convention, go to.

one that assistance run cuz anything you. need is like within arms reach. >> Oh, I bet. >> They think of everything that you might. need. I was like at one point I was. like, I think I have something in my. tooth. And I turned around and there was. just dental floss. >> Oh, I thought you were going to say. there's an extra tooth. >> Oh, you thought you thought I was just. going to take a tooth. >> That's how good these assistants are. There's a slight gap between my moler. and my incizer. Here's a tooth. But. [laughter]. >> well, I'm just curious. Okay, let's set. the table. Yes. >> This was a convention that you were. invited to speak at. >> Yes.

>> An assistance convention, and it's run. by assistants. >> Yes. So, the person who I I mean, I. don't know how much she wants me to give. away, but the person who started the. organization used to work for um Dick. Costello, who who started Twitter. >> Yeah. Okay. >> Um and so it's all very techheavy. They. all work for like founders or CEOs or. CTOs of like tech companies. So they're. like they're real. The people they. assist are like real people as opposed. to like. >> some late night clown. [laughter].

>> No, you can say it. >> It's just I I feel like the stakes for. them are really high cuz they're like. massive billiondollar corporations that. their bosses. >> So what did they ask you and what did. you say? >> I I really do think it felt like I was. like a party clown. they [laughter]. hired. >> Isn't this cute? >> To give some levity to it. I really do. think that's what what I was there for. It was a really. >> Because no one wants to hear you say, "Well, here are the 10 rules about being. a good assistant." No one wants to hear. that from you.

>> What What do you. >> I would I would like to hear that. What. are the 10 rules of being an assistant? >> Uh give them enough material to riff off. of. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Um. >> if your if your boss has one glass of. wine, you have three on his dime. [laughter]. make make reservations in his name and. then bring your dog to the restaurant. >> Okay. >> And uh you know that they won't toss you. out. >> Yeah. [laughter] Look for restaurants. with at least four dollar signs next to. them cuz you know he's going to be. putting it on. You're not paying for it.

Um I just I had um I had a lot of fun. It was beautifully organized. I got good. laughs. I told like some really solid. stories from our time working together. Yeah. >> And it was it they loved it. There's a. lot of people who love you. They love. you. >> I love this convention. How come they. wouldn't let me come speak? >> Um I Why you have to overshadow me? >> You're right. >> I mean, you're not an assistant. Why. would you be there? >> You know what? They did invite me first. and I said, "Why don't you let Sona have.

a little. >> They invited me, too. Isn't that weird?". [laughter]. >> No, they invited you first. You said no. I said, "I want" and then I gave it to. you. >> It was perfectly organized. Great great. people. I really had a really fun time. It was awesome. >> Now, uh, while you were doing it, were. you thinking, I I could do more of. these? >> Yes, I want to do it. >> But I talked to you about this. This is. an avenue for you, and I I like you to. prosper. >> Not too much, but I like you to get. ahead in the world. >> Yeah. >> Um, and I think about my godchildren,

your two kids. I want them to uh be able. to go to college and stuff. So this is. uh this is what. >> I mean yeah I know what you mean but you. made it sound like I can't do that now. that I need to destitute you spend so. much on gummies. >> I spend you know what you make you're. you're making a joke. >> I'm not making a joke. >> but I spend. >> How much you spend on gummies? >> I love that you're whispering into a. very expensive microphone. >> At least like 250 every time I order. >> How often do you order? Daily. >> Like uh daily. You think I buy $250.

worth of gummies? >> Losing teeth at these conventions. Oh my. god. No. >> Okay. So, you How much are you. ingesting? Would you have one a night? Do you have two a night? >> I'm about No. No. I do like a like a one. maybe five if I'm feeling crazy. A 10. milligram at night after the boys sleep. >> Just say 10 mil. Yeah. So, you do. >> 250 every two weeks or. >> um maybe even longer than that. like, you know, it's like it's like maybe a. monthly expense is 200 to $250 to $300.

on gummies. >> Have you had a situation? We're talking. $3,600 a year on gummies. >> Why' you do that? >> I just just as your accountant now she. needs another gummy to come. She's. feeling anxious. >> Maybe I should do speaking engagements. just to pay for my gummies. >> Yeah. Okay. >> But also, I'm saying you you have a big. life. you know, you like the good things. in life and you're going to want more. This is an avenue for you and um you.

could be right up front about it when. you give do speaking engagements like. this is paying for my gummies. >> Yeah, that's true. I thought about it, but then I don't want to do like, you. know, like Exxon. I don't want to go. They don't want me to. >> You know what? They pay a lot. >> That's a lot of money. >> I bet it No, I've had I started out with. principles and then [laughter]. I was like I was on stage like yeah you. guys make the landmines like. >> you don't have to tell us you're doing a. podcast. >> keep [laughter]. America moving you know.

>> Oh no I don't do that stuff. >> You should do gummy conventions. >> Do you think they have them? I bet like. >> they have assistance conventions. >> Well I know but those they know how to. >> No one shows up at the gummy convention. [laughter] Just a bunch of empty seats. One guy staggers in. >> Yeah. I don't know. I'm I'm just saying. this is an avenue for you that you. should pursue. >> I would I would love to do more of these. speaking engagements. I think maybe like. five a year would be great. You know, just to make some extra scratch. It. would be fun. >> You got to make your scratch if you're. going to get those gums.

>> Make but I also I don't know who would. want me other than assistance. >> Oh, you kidding? No, you there's so many. people you could talk to. I mean, the. Armenian community would always like to. hear from you. >> Yeah. Any I do a lot of Armenian stuff. FC Dallas. I don't get paid for those. >> Oh, that's right. >> I don't I don't get paid for any of. those cuz a lot of them are nonprofit. Like what am I going to do? Ask my. people for pay. >> Yes, exactly. >> Say cough it up. Go. >> No, you wouldn't do it. >> No, >> you don't. You don't. You do. How many. charity events? You You don't get paid. for those?

>> No. I always try and hit them up later. on. >> I [clears throat] go by the children's. hospital and I say, "Where's my money? >> Please, sir. [laughter] I have no leg.". Um, but you know what? It's funny being. in a room with all these really. professional people. >> It does make me feel like I I wasn't a. real assistant. Like I was an assistant. to a very important figure in like but. >> you lost me on that one. [laughter]. >> No, I am. You're No, you are a very big.

important figure and then but they're. like in a complete It's like it's like. meeting you know Michelle Obama's. assistant. >> Yeah, exactly. >> Who spoke there the year before I did? That's so great that they went from. Michelle Obama's assistant to you. >> Yes. >> Yes. She's got like important places to. be, important things to do. >> I know. That's what I'm saying. It's. cool. And I, you know, I wrote a book. called The World's Worst Assistant and. they asked me to be there. It was really. fun. It was cool. I like that. >> All right. Well, if you've got a gig and. you're hiring, Sonomessian Sierra, call. 555222.

That number again is 555222. >> Thanks for your help, boss. Thank you. That's very. >> No problem. Those calls are coming in to. a fake phone that exists only in TV and. movies. [laughter].