Nathan Lane & Conan Discuss Their Irish Upbringings | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

There are many ways in which I think you. and I could probably relate. As friends. I as friends, but as also. uh I think. uh we're both Irish uh we both we were. raised very Catholic, I believe uh and I. know that my self-defense mechanism that. I learned very early on was to just beat. up on myself and hate myself. If I get. to me before anyone else gets to me. Exactly.

then I beat them to the punch. And I. always kind of sensed that when I would. hang with you like, oh, I think Nathan. and I have there's a kinship here. Sure. There was alcoholism in your family. This I know this is a dark thing to. bring up. It's funny because there was. there was in my family. because we had there had been alcoholism. throughout the family tree my parents I. grew up in a dry house and there was a. which is a thing you see in some Irish. culture which is.

they're so afraid of it that there you. can't even have a rum cake in the house. Like there was nothing. There was no you. couldn't so I grew up kind of. uh being told that it's it will it will. kill you if you get near it. And it was. the way people talk about like fentanyl. now, that was how wine was treated when. I was growing up. It just wasn't in the. house. And then if company came over my. dad had a little like rusty key and he. would open up a little cabinet and take.

out what must have been the shittiest. bottle of wine in the world that he had. just capped the last time someone had. had a glass. Didn't know how to store. it. Blew dust off of it and gave. someone, you know, basically vinegar. Yeah. Uh. Yeah. But there were so many there was a. lot of ways where I feel maybe we would. relate. Yes, as as Irishmen, sure. Yeah. Um yeah, the dark the dark humor and and. self-deprecating.

Samuel Beckett vibe. I love this quote. As we were interviewing with you and you. said that you you felt like you grew up. in a bad Eugene O'Neill. play. And then later you revised that, but why don't you elaborate on that? You know, my father was an alcoholic. became an alcoholic. Really, I was born my mother had me when. she was 40. And um. and not long after he started drinking. really heavily and um. and essentially drank himself to death. And my mother then sort of had a had a.

kind of breakdown after his death and. her own mother's death and she. eventually was. diagnosed as bipolar. Then it was called. manic depression. Um, so it was it it was a um. a difficult childhood in that. I had to grow up fast. I sort of became. the adult. My two older brothers were. going to college. They were sort of on. the way out, although they were very. much involved in. helping, but uh.

when I was going to high school it was. just my mother and myself and she was. going through these phases. of depression and then manic behavior. and it was and in and out of mental. hospitals. And then uh. and and I never really I never really. had much of a relationship with my. father. He died when I was 11. And I can remember saying to my brother, my oldest brother Dan, you know, we were going to the funeral. and I said um. I was upset and he said what I said to.

him I I said I can't cry. I'm supposed to be crying now. Yeah. My father died and I can't cry. And he. said. he said that's all right. He said you. feel how you feel and it doesn't that. that's not important. Yeah. And um. Which was ahead of its time by the way. for him to say that. Yeah. This is I mean this is. And he not the healthiest guy in the. world himself. Yeah, um you know, um. yeah, he yeah, he was well, you know, he. was a teacher and uh and he certainly.

and he was the my my it is my my oldest. brother who. got me interested in the theater and. reading and you know, he was a became. sort of a father figure. There's this thing that happens, I think. it's true of a lot of performers where. they they. um they take whatever they've been given. and then they realize. my experience was I just went down a. checklist when I was a kid. And mostly. it was things I wasn't good at, you. know? I mean, literally. I mean, I. remember doing like a mental rundown of.

you know, what's not going to be. uh anything in the athletic field. I. think that's quite clear. Yes. Uh it's not going to be I'm not really a. ladies' man. Uh. uh okay. So, I just keep clicking things off and. uh I'm not a I'm not a math science way. I just kept clicking things off and then. I. remembered getting to uh I make my. friends laugh.

and thinking, "Okay, uh. what is this all about?" You know, you. you figure out what weapon you have in. your toolbox and you must have figured. out at a. And and you find your group. You find. your the the. you know, you have to find the person. who laughs at your jokes and gets it. It. gets what you're talking about. You're still looking. It's a quest. An. epic quest. Yeah. But what So, you figure out pro- fairly. probably what is it? High school? You. realize like, "I like to get up there. I. like to be in front of people.

I think, you know, honestly, I can. remember as a as a child it like doing. they would say I would get up and do. impressions. I would try to entertain. the family. Mhm. And I had like a bad club act and then I. was in a a gr- know, a grammar school. play and I remember getting a laugh in. that and thinking, "Oh, this was like. blood to a vampire." And and then um. and then in high school, I started to do. plays, and. and I but I wasn't thinking it was just. it was social. It was finding your.

people, but it was just um I didn't I. didn't think it could be a profession. Right. Nor did I. And and then um. but as as as I as I. nearing the end of high school, I. realized maybe I could. My brother would. also not only encouraged me, but he took. me to see theater in New York to see. plays on Broadway and off Broadway. And. uh sometimes it with classes that he was. teaching, he would take a class and I. would go with him. And.

and I would you know, that first. experience of. watching the curtain go up and the the. lights on the stage and thinking, "I'd like to be a part of that. I think. maybe I could do that.". Yeah. Uh and the excitement of just the ritual. of it all, people quieting down as the. curtain goes up and there's, you know, nothing quite like it. After all of this, all of these crazy. hits of dopamine and success, can you. still access that when you're in a show. and it's.

Yes. Isn't that amazing? That it's still. it's You don't get Oh, yeah, I know, this is old this I'm just doing giving. them the old number 42B, you know. No, I you know, I'm I'm here making this. um multi-cam um Mid-Century Modern, and. and every Tuesday night when we we uh. tape it, it's it's like do you feel the. adrenaline and you think, you know, um. you know, you you want it to go well and. you there's because of the. that this process, which is sort of a. whirlwind process, and and and I was.

saying to someone today, it's it's. really more of a writer's process. It's. their they're sort of rewriting. They rewrite throughout the This is. multi-cam, and they rewrite throughout. the week. and you're you know, and you're and then. doing takes and they come in and they. give you a whole new set of lines and. you know, it's and it's kind of I kind. of it's sort of thrilling I it's all. flying by the seat of your pants, but. it's also like is this acting or am I. just repeating what you said to me 3. seconds ago and.

Right. But um somehow it all comes together and. but I I I certainly um before we start. you I feel that kind of the thing you. feel before. The thing you felt as a kid. Yes, you. get it doesn't go away. No.