Mike Birbiglia Thinks Conan Is “The Buddha” Of Comedy | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

So, the Netflix special, it's out. How. long does it take you to work on this ne. on on the next show? First of all, you. need some stuff to happen to you, right? Do you need me to like shoot you in the. shoulder? Which would give that would be. like a good 20 minutes. He said to urban air. Yeah. Do you need me to shoot you in the. shoulder? I mean, can you imagine? That's when Conan said to me, "Do you. need me to shoot you in the shoulder?". And sure, sure, Conan is funny. sometimes, but this was a time where it. didn't seem like he was making a joke.

I would use a 22. I would use I would. use a lower caliber. You would kill him. You're acting like. you're a marksman, but you're you you. don't shoot. You go shooting. You're. going to kill him. Which Oh, 50/50 chance he gets killed. Okay. But you get a ton of material out of. that. Oh, and then I come on at the end. of the show and we hug. That's a big show. By the way, that's another that's. another handoff that I think that we. could pull off in 2024 is.

if you end up cuz you were talking about. going out and doing a whole bunch of. live dates, maybe even standup, right? If you do that, I want to pop into some of those shows. I would love to have you do that. I would love it. Well, you're saying that now. Be my dream. Would it? Conan, all the jokes aside. Oh, no. And. you have to deal with this all the time. This is the bane of your existence. There's a generation of us comedians.

who view you as the Buddha of comedy. Oh, wow. Okay. All right. Well, you're old. and and apparently fat. I'm apparently fat. Yeah. an old. I'm sorry I ruined it. No, you actually No, Sona. Sona, you. that was exactly what I. gave us on my way in. Gave me a. compliment and cuz I've known Paula. forever since your late night's been. with me 30 years. Yeah. And she gave me a compliment and.

and I and I basically said, you know, if. you stick around long enough in show. business, eventually they let you just. stay. And she goes, "You and Conan are. the best at batting away compliments.". Yeah, but you are. you're the, you know, thank you very much. Yeah, that would be the that would be. I don't it doesn't process I, you know. what, you know what's nice? You know. what does process for me? I I. um I don't take it for granted that like. seeing you last night and Jimmy and.

Jesus Christ, Marty Short, who is uh is. funny in a way that always makes me. question like how can anybody be that. funny in so many ways. Uh I uh but just. to to to like run into you guys and just. be. joking around and then on the ride home. realize that I get I get to like I don't. know. Get to be around all these very. funny people who are really creative and.

it's nice. What a what a what a. This is how much this is how much I. idolize Martin Short to wear it at. dinner and I don't eat onions or. tomatoes. Mhm. Um, and you went to an Italian restaurant. and I get mocked. I get mocked by my. family, including my daughter and. 8-year-old daughter, because she eats. more stuff than I do. But with Marty Short, I'm like, I'm just. going full onions tomatoes. You know. what I mean? I'm just I can't I can't be. that person. Well, also there's a moment.

where you realize you've made a mistake. around Martin Short because he is, you. know, when you walk if you're in a. museum or something and every and you're. and you're in a room alone and you're. really still and then you move slightly, a little red light goes up, those motion. sensors and the red light's just going. to register movement and they can pick. up the slightest movement. Marty Short. is one of those for someone making a. mistake. Yeah. The smallest mistake. And.

I I think I've mentioned this, but I. have to mention it again, which is on. one of the last uh late night shows I. did a couple years ago, two years ago. Um I'm driving to a rehearsal and Marty. Short, which was my dream, agreed to. come on and do this bit where he sings a. song to me at the end about how I've. always been the only one. like for him. that kind of B. Midler, Johnny Carson. tribute song and then I revealed to him. that he's actually sung this to.

uh he did it for Letterman when he went. off the air and then he did it for all. these other people and we Marty Short. shot all these. Oh yeah. Yeah. great pretapes and we. said you did it on when Springer ended. and there's a huge and we could we could. put him into all these you did it uh. when they when they retired um the. Shamrock Shake at at McDonald's or. something. We did it we put it into so. many ways that he had done it. Anyway, that was the bit and it was a really hot. day and I never wear shorts and this day. I just threw on some like cargo shorts.

that were above the knee and I'm driving. in to the Largo Theater to tape the last. show and I thought, "Oh yeah, I'm wearing shorts today.". Well, I never wear shorts. People might. give me a hard time. It'll be fine. And. then I suddenly remembered. I thought, "Wait, who's on the show today?" And I. remembered it was Martin Short. And my. heart stopped. I was in the car on. Lassiaga and I'm like, "Oh, fuck." And. sure enough, I'm in their rehearsal and.

the double doors open up and Marty comes. in and he's like, "Hello all." And. everyone's like, "Yay, Martin short. We're just going to rehearse." And he. goes, "Ah, young Conan." And he sees. wearing shorts. And then he did maybe 20. minutes. Yeah. Of pure destruction and humili. And it. was fantastic. And of course my everyone. who works for me was crying laughing so. hard. Yeah. No, he there's a few people like. that. Bill haters like that. Yeah. Where you have to be aware that whatever.

you're saying or doing is being clocked. uh with a deep sensitivity. He he does. an impression of me that's so cruel that. my wife Jenny loves, which is he this is. the whole impression. And he goes, "But it was my car.". That's the whole impression. It's nothing that I say. It's nothing.

I've said in any joke, but it was my. car. Bill is just beyond. He's on. another planet. Yeah. Of funny. But also just knowing that uh. you're you're around these people who. have a superpower that that they'll. notice something the slightest. Yeah. The slight I misspoke slightly or I had. this little tick and they're like ah. delicious. You're like that. Yeah, you are like that.

Not at all. Anyway, moving on. Um not at. all. Not at all. And I love you. No, but I I value that too. Like I feel. so lucky. Like I my first taste of that. in addition to like my own family like. you're saying was when I got to college. and I and I was like is there a sketch. comedy group cuz I wanted to write. comedy. like on late night and uh they said. there isn't but there's an improv group. I I I don't know what that is and I. auditioned. I got in and when I got in I. was like oh these are 10 people who are.

like that who are just like we're gonna. make fun of everything. We're going to. do impressions of everything. We're. going to be very annoying but also kind. of amazing. And those are like some of. my closest friends to this day. I've always thought and this goes for. everybody here like isn't I was I always. tell my kids that the journey is finding. your people. Like that's the journey. The journey is uh there's there's little. there there it it's you you set off into.

the world and then it's just collecting. people that you know inspire you. whatever charge you in some way and then. at the end it is like one of those. movies those travel movies where the. person heads out in the beginning and at. the end they've got like this this group. of people that have different powers but. they've befriended them along the way. I. don't know. I I which brings me to my. final point, which is that Conan and I. have finally found each other. Oh, and Copods is going to be a huge.

success. I don't know. I don't know. No, these are you don't know. I just crank out these pods, man. One bag of dust. Cost to ratio. I mean, it's incredible. Huge in Brazil. These are huge in. Brazil. Look, I'm fine with him taking a dive on. that. I feel like I don't want you. That's a joint venture. Yeah. Joint venture meaning you put up. most the cash. I put up 90% of the money. No. And incur most of the risk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No. I No. Don't. All right. Well, Buddha's not taking a. risk over here. Buddha is sitting on his fat ass. I'm going to start using that. Buddha. That's not something Buddha would say.