Michelle Zauner & Conan Discuss “Crying In H Mart” | Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend

I had these observations I just wanted. to talk to you about because I've also. read your beautiful book crying in H. Mart which got a lot of attention and. love it's a memoir and I told you it is. so well written you are half Korean. mom's Korean dad's American you're born. in Seoul but then moved to Eugene Oregon. yes and live not just like in downtown. Eugene if you live in the woods yes yeah.

and you there's this your last name is. not Korean but people are constantly in. your life as a child trying to figure. out who you are and I get the sense that. you're also trying to figure out who you. are as a kid is that is that fair yeah. definitely I mean I think we we all are. um but yeah it was certainly an added uh. kind of like complication being in a. very predominantly white neighborhood. and and feeling uh you know like I think. when you're a teenager sort of. everything is embarrassing you know like.

you're embarrassed if you're taller than. the rest of the students or yeah and so. I think that for me that was just really. mortifying and I couldn't figure out why. it felt like such a a big deal for a. long time you know people would come up. to you kids with up to you and say what. are you right right they want to know I. mean kids need to label not always from. a bad place they just want to fix on who. you are obviously sometimes in a bad way. and you're very isolated because as I. said you're way out there yeah and so. you're spending a lot of time in nature. alone but you're not always happy about.

it yeah I think it's important. and it's another Common Thread with a. lot of creative people is they want to. get out they want to get out there and. see what's going on right right which. felt like when I read your book you were. very interested in that like how do I. get out of here and see stuff I mean I. think it was also partially like both of. my parents are from larger cities and. like it was sort of you know Seoul is. like a huge City and my dad is from. Philadelphia and so it was I feel like. they both just had very big. personalities so I was always going to.

have a very big personality my entire. life I've been told to like calm down or. be quiet I have like a very loud voice. well you and I are Kindred Spirits I'm. still being told to just shut up and. calm down yeah but I'm and then like. once I moved to New York I was like oh. I'm just like normal here this is great. but yeah I come from like you for people. who don't know like Eugene is like a. real like hippie dippy kind of town like. it's very granola I had a very beautiful. childhood but it was a weird sort of. environment and I think that that was a.

big part of why I became a very creative. person because I was just bored there. was like no kids around there's like no. neighbors I didn't have any siblings I. was an only child and so I think I just. got used to like spending a lot of time. thinking about things and you just. mentioned the word board and I remember. telling my wife early on when our. daughter was born because we have. there's such a culture now of kids must. be constantly stimulated you know. they're like listening to Beethoven in. the womb the minute they they're born.

the iPad babies exactly they're. constantly stimulated and I remember. saying to my wife and she agreed I said. uh we have to leave room for boredom. because boredom is where the good stuff. comes from you know whether it's guys in. Liverpool's in the late 50s like there's. nothing to do let's make a band because. there's nothing to totally and it's. raining out and I think especially at a. place like Eugene Oregon you know you. can't go outside and play every day and. it's raining it's raining most of the.

time and I think another thing that's. really interesting is obviously you talk. a lot in your book about your connection. with your mother and how complicated it. is and how there were periods where you. were really. at odds you cling to her as a child and. then there's adolescence and you're. really fighting her and you talk about. this relationship and it feels like it. was some of that was the Catalyst I have. to thank for some of the creativity.

possibly this is that this turbulence. yeah I mean I think if anything it just. made me realize like how like it really. affirmed how badly I wanted it you know. because I think that. it's almost like if your parents are. like oh great like yeah go be an artist. you almost like don't want it anymore. and so I think that like her being so. adverse to like me being following that. path or just be having so much concern. about it made me so much more drawn to.

it and so sure that that was the path I. needed to take because there was just. nothing else for me in a way well it's. also you I mean it it took the wind out. of me when I read it. because when you play one of your first. gigs you are sort of teaching yourself. guitar and you find the right teacher at. a school that teaches a lot of people. how to play guitar the lesson Factor the. lesson it literally the lesson Factory. which is which isn't a good name you. feel like what great Art Is Gonna Come. Out of yeah. it was like literally attached to a.

Guitar Center like we were it was. bizarre and everyone teaching you is. enraged that their band didn't take off. yeah they're all like failed like. Craigslist yeah but you have this first. gig and you play and your parents come. and see you and you're you so much want. your mother's approval really want your. mother's approval and I I completely. relate to this and you keep sort of. bringing up the show and then you get to. this part in the book where you sort of.

say like what would you think and she. said I'm just waiting for you to quit. this yeah that's got to be devastating. to hear yeah but I mean I think. why I am still doing it in a way I've. been I was sort of like told no many. many times from for many years and uh. just had a very like embarrassing career. for like 10 years sleeping on like. floors strewn with like cat poop and you.

know trying to sleep well. I didn't know if you laid it out you. think she laid out cat poop and then. slept on it just because she thought. that I've got to live the artist's life. yeah no okay yeah I used to do that yeah. yeah it's very romantic but. yeah I think that um I don't know now. like when I look back at that I'm like. that's exactly why uh you are the way. that you are because like I don't know I. mean she was like kind of setting me up. for the rest of the world to do that and. so that's I kind of appreciate that now.

yeah you respond well to rejection and. you're you know uh it feels to me like. you you're very strong person and when. you were told no you doubled down yeah I. mean but when you're a teenager you're. just like I am like the next Paul. McCartney or whatever you know so I. think that you I had like the you you. have like that kind of like Teenage like. courage and ego but I don't know I think. that they came I was always like kind of. a ham so I think that that kind of came. naturally to me what's funny because I. have you know in our offices here I have.

this office that has next to nothing in. it yeah is there a ham there is a hand. it's hanging from a rope and every now. and then I just stand up and I take a. chance. what yeah it's just hanging there and. you eat it yeah I don't even have to use. my hands I just chomp at it you gotta. refrigerate it don't you no it's cured. okay yeah it's been there for four years. oh man we get off on these tangents. tonight I know it throws it I have a. picture in my office one of the only.

pictures I have and someone took a. picture of both my parents I was doing. some event it was at the Kennedy Library. and you were there too I was doing some. event and my parents were in the crowd. and this is maybe nine years ago yeah. and someone took a picture of both of. them laughing at something I said and. they gave it to me so I framed it and I. have it on my desk because as a reminder. that that's the only reason that I do. this I honestly think that I mean people. have this idea that oh you want to make.

a lot of money and you wanted you know. it's these other things come along that. are really nice but initially. so many of us are just trying to make. both or one of those two people laugh or. proud in some way and that's it I know. that that's been was it was a big theme. in your book because the book is about. you losing your mother. who got cancer at a fairly young age and. you. spending a lot of time with her and. processing all of this.

and there's a part in the book where you. say I don't know once she's gone I mean. this all happened before Japanese. breakfast who am I doing this for if not. for my mom and it raises the question of. how do you negotiate that you know how. did you when did you come to a point. where we realized well somewhere it's. somewhere in my mom seeing this or yeah. I mean I think about that all the time. as like a secular person of just you. know I don't believe in an afterlife of.

any kind but there's. something like so magical about the way. that things happened for me you know. I've been playing music since I was 16. years old and I played House shows and. you know no one cared about my band for. a very long time and after she died I uh. I was like I'm gonna you know record one. more record about this experience and. then you know I don't care what happens. I'll like press 500 copies and you know. sell it out of like my basement over the. course of like the next 10 years and.

that of course was the record that kind. of took off and really resonated with. people and it was like oh this is just. like not quite the time to hang up my. hat and then after that it was just like. every everything that happened just like. felt like there was this like weird. force that was kind of like looking out. for me and it's it's both like it's very. bittersweet because my mom never got to. see me experience any kind of success. and was like so worried about living the. life of an artist but now it just kind. of has to feel like she she knows. somehow or is like responsible for it so. you put this together.

your mom passes away and you decided. Well I'm going to go into advertising. which you know you don't hear of a lot. you don't hear of like Keith Richards. saying I'm going to do some advertising. for a while yeah I mean his ads would be. awful by the way boy of Volkswagen. great. Keith's over here it's not a Volkswagen. it's a Buick.

he's just napping yeah. I love the trail off at the end. I experienced it with him we'll get back. to you but I was in an SNL sketch once. when I was super young I was in my 20s. and Keith Richards was the musical guest. and it was live and he was in the sketch. also and we're waiting for Tom Hanks to. come around to us for our part of the. sketch and we're in the middle of a. sketch that's glad he starts talking to.

me and I'm I'm holding a horse which is. important to know and he thought that. rather than me being a I'm a comedian. who's supposed to say a line I'm a. comedy writer holding a horse wait was. it a real horse it was a real horse no. it wasn't yeah yeah it's it's a long you. can look it up online did they take it. up in the elevator oh yeah there's. plenty I guess there's like a freight. there's a massive elevator at SNL that. brings everything all the horses yeah no. I mean they could get it they could get. an elephant up there I mean I'm not. kidding they they can it was made to get. incredible stuff up there but I had a.

real horse and I'm holding it and Keith. Richards thought that I was the owner of. the horse and I'm like the Handler like. the Handler and that it was my horse and. he starts going uh horses man they did. it all and I was like please please. don't okay. um Tom Hanks is headed this way and. we've got to say a line live on TV I've. got to say my line and my line is please. don't Mr Hanks don't touch him that. horse bites everyone and I'm I'm So. Young I'm like 23 I'm going over the.

lines of my head he's like oh oh sis. without them we wouldn't have built. civilization. and I keep going like yes now normally. you'd think you'd be in a situation. where you're talking to Keith Richards. you want hang on every word yeah yeah. and I'm a huge Rolling Stones fan. instead of much like shut up shut up. shut up I gotta say my line okay Mr. Hanks don't touch that first he wants. everyone oh I mean you think about it. horses are the ones.

you want him to you wanted Keith. Richards to stop talking to you oh my. god well I still still sometimes yeah. he's got to learn to shut up that guy. um there's certain themes that I've seen. in my life and sometimes it's almost. when you give up and you're not trying. anymore and you get to a place of okay I. made this I put it out there it's a. message in a bottle but I don't really. need it to blow up I don't need it to.

become this seminal record for me and of. course it does yeah. not weird when you let everything go and. you have no Ambitions or hopes for. anything you like almost find this like. real version of yourself and that's like. what people cling to or like they can. feel it in this way I feel like when. people are trying to like put on airs in. a way uh you can just like smell it from. a mile away when some something's like. not like I always feel like I know when. people aren't singing in their real. voice and I feel like I kind of finally.

found that with that record yes when. something's forced what I love is that. audiences know it yeah when I saw you. perform you just had this real Joy of. being out there the music is great but. that's also part of it is I feel like. this is therapeutic for you or. life-giving to you yeah I mean I I've. wanted it for so long and so it feels so. great to to get to do it you know with. your friends and a bunch of people. wearing flower crowns. I didn't have a flower crown.

I was amazed at how people were I saw. many people wearing very little clothing. there it's very hot you weren't you. weren't wearing like your daisy dukes. and like that woven vest or anything I. was wearing a thong oh come on what's oh. come on. I'm trying to eat here. that's disgusting I think my body's. beautiful Sona I'm sorry I was an 11. people Buckle below. long ass.

we need to lift you up in your song. don't touch the phone. pass me towards the stage I gotta hit. that medium-sized gun. that's not quite to my size expectation. happy.