Matthew Rhys (FULL EPISODE) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

[music] Hello, my name is Matthew Reese. and I feel ashamed about being Conan. O'Brien's friend. >> Finally, an honest answer. >> Oh god, that felt good. I feel. unbburdened and light. [music]. >> Hey there. Welcome to Conor O'Brien. Needs a Friend. I put a little pause. between Conan O'Brien and Needs a. Friend. Kind of a dramatic, you know. >> You know what makes it really dramatic. is explaining it. [laughter].

I guess I had that coming. And you're. fired. >> Okay, [laughter] fair enough. Uh, Sona, Matt, how you guys doing? >> Good. How are you? >> I'm doing okay. I um It's a little bit. of a followup. >> Yeah, >> the nation's gripped because recently I. talked about my trip to the eye doctor. >> Sonum Obsessian took me there, filling. in for David Hopping, who went to a. Midwestern wedding. Again, way too much. backstory. Can I just [laughter] say. this is like a third installment in the. ongoing saga of your eye. It went. >> I say saga.

>> I never say saga. >> Yeah, saga is weird. I've never heard. >> the hell was that? >> Yeah. >> You know what? You guys are right. >> And by the way, it was Bob saga. [laughter]. >> Okay. Yeah, you guys. You guys are right. And that's. probably worth stopping for. And you're. not [laughter]. >> You're checking every box right now. Not. Worth stopping for. >> I don't know why I still work here. >> No, I don't either. But I was going to. say in the saga. >> Uhhuh. >> that [laughter] it started with your eye. postual leaning on the mic, then your. visit to the optometrist to do bits.

where you stayed for hours, and then now. there's so many great bits. >> Do so many bits. >> in that waiting room. So, here's the. thing. Um, you know, I have prescription. glasses and they needed to make them a. little stronger, but everything's fine. Are my eyes leaking a bit? Sure they. are. [laughter] Um, just they're dry and. so you need. >> I'm looking at right now. I'm worried. about your depth of focus. >> Uh, what about my mental focus? That's. [laughter] what you should be worried. cuz my brain is also leaking. >> You're saying it like are my eyes.

leaking? Sure. They are normal. >> Yeah. Oh, please. Ocular jelly is oozing. everywhere. >> No. And so it's very common um for. people with my talent. It's just too. much talent. And um this is how. sometimes the the eyes reject the. talent. And so. >> seeping out of you there. Is that your. talent? >> Yeah, the eyes. There's it's like is. there going to be room for eyes or. talent? And I always hang on to the. talent and the eyes. The two great wits. of all time. >> So, um, worked with iron eyes, Cody, but. that's a whole other story. Anyway, um,

back to the main story. They give me the. drops I'm going to use. Everything's. fine. Me peepers are fine. It's all. good. And who needs eye jelly anyway? I. always say. [laughter] So, I'm about to. leave and this woman said, "Hey, Conan, have you ever thought of uh contact. lenses?" And I said, "You know, I've. never ever used contact lenses. My. distance is fine. I just mean pretty. much for reading. I need a little. correction with distance, but really not. much at all." And she said, "You know, once you get used to them, they're. really handy, and you wouldn't have to. carry glasses around cuz you can forget.

them. And where'd they go? And did. someone steal them? And let's put out a. warrant." So I um I said, "I'll sure.". And she said, "Yeah, they're so thin. now. They really work great." and she. brought in some context and she said, "I'll show you how to pop them in and. pop them off." And I went, "Great. Cut. to a montage that lasts about 55. [laughter] minutes.". Not that I was timing it or anything. with Sona in the waiting room [laughter].

and the woman saying, "No, no, you just. you just and me holding my eyes open. uh and trying to jab it in there, but. I'm you know, I've got fluttery eyelids. that are like and I've never liked. people getting near my eyes." And she. said, "Men are more prone to that than. women. We just And I've noticed it in. the makeup chair forever. Whenever. people get near my eyes, I grip. >> the the handles of the chair and I could. crush them. I'm just so freaked out by. people going near my eyes. I kept trying.

and kept trying and failing and saying I. and I came up against something I just. couldn't do. And I'm not used to that. I'm not bragging. I'm I'm bad athlete. and there's a million things I can't do. But this I just thought, "Oh, I'll be. able to do this." and I couldn't do it. >> And when I was done, my eyes, both my. eyes were so red. >> Did you get them in? >> They finally got them in. And then it. was time to get them out. That was a.

whole process. And I of course doubled. down on I don't even know that I want. contacts, but I am not losing this. battle. >> So, I'm not wearing them now cuz I. wanted to give my eyes. They said, "Give. your eyes a rest for a couple days cuz. it looks like I went seven rounds with. the champ." [laughter] I came out of. there. You saw my eyes. >> You looked really stoned. Yeah, >> you did. You had like a glazed over. look. It looked really stoned. You were. really having struggle. You were. >> My eyes were so red.

>> and I couldn't believe this is something. people do all the time. Have you ever. worn contacts? >> It's funny you should say that cuz I. used to wear contacts. I hated them. And. when I went for the first time to try. them on, the optometrist was trying over. and over to get them in my eyes. And he. finally put them down. He sighed and he. went, "I don't know how to say this, but. you have abnormally strong eyelids.". >> What? >> I was like, "Of course.". >> You know what? That's what I said. Strength I have is eyelids and not like. biceps or [laughter]. when your wife saw you on the beach, she. was like, >> when I winked at her,

>> strong eyelids there, mister. [laughter]. >> But I have a stigmatisms and I just. can't handle them. They dry my eyes out. I don't like them. >> I do. So does Conan. >> He has an aigmatism, too. Check us out. >> So, did you But Sona, you got used to. it. >> I And I I wonder if me. >> There's a microphone right in front of. you, Marilyn. [laughter]. >> Oh my god. >> You were You were doing an announcement. on a cruise ship in a storm. >> Oh my god. >> You were telling people to get back into. their cabins. >> You asked the lady a question. >> I know, but she started to do this. >> I'm channeling my rage.

>> Eduardo, channeling my rage. >> Eduardo, be fair. >> You don't have to answer. You can plead. the I'm channeling my ra. I'm taking. deep breaths and I'm channeling it right. now. >> Okay, go ahead. Tell your story. >> Give it to him. Don't channel. >> I wonder if me telling you that I was. able to do it when I was 12 may have. contributed to you getting more kind of. like, well, I can do it, too. Cuz I kept. saying I did this when I was I've been. wearing contacts since I was 12. >> A girl of 12 can wear contacts and you. can't do it. >> You know, I first of all, um. >> I'm an I'm an ally of all women and um.

and I empower you and I'm happy for you. >> [laughter]. >> Um, >> just what's that? >> Awful. >> What' you say? >> Well, I want to say that um I I've. worked. >> You can back off the mic here. [laughter]. >> I wore contacts, but but Eduardo has a. very special contact situation uh that I. think might Is this going to prove. helpful to Conan? Possibly. >> Maybe. I think you guys are all wusses. >> Yeah, this but I do want advice. I do.

>> I do want advice. And also, I'm telling. you this, David Hopping. um told me that his mother uh like. teaches people how to put. >> contact lenses in and out. Yes. Seriously, this and that I'm going to. have a zoom with her. But what is your. advice? >> So, I wear scalero lenses, which are the. >> brag. Yeah. So, it's a very specific. type of. >> Is this a company owned by former judge. Scalia? >> How did she know? No. Uh, it's first. >> I use Ginsburg burgers, [laughter].

>> but. >> but I have to use this. Uh, >> I hate you. I hate you [laughter] so. much. >> That was good. That was good. >> I hate you so much. >> Look at me. Look at me. I wish we could. do a thing where I pull a string and. confetti comes down on [laughter] me and. I would do this. Okay, >> fair. He was wrong to assault you, but. he was That was funny. That was funny. I. have a plunger that I have to use to. take out my. >> That's the plunger. You're killing us. wussies. No, but I have to take it out. with this because they're rigid gas. permeable lenses. >> uh that I have. >> Also, so you have a little plunger which.

you use a little plunger for your eyes. >> for my contact. >> and occasionally for a mouse's toilet. [laughter]. [laughter]. >> Every now and then, Eduardo is sitting. reading a paper at home and he. [laughter] HEARS ME. [screaming] WHAT'S. THAT LITTLE FELLA? ME. OH, REALLY? HUH? WELL, that's embarrassing. And you you. have guests coming me. I'll take care of. it. [laughter].

>> You're welcome, buddy. Anytime. >> Just wash it. [laughter]. >> Oh my god. >> Oh my god. Happiness everywhere. [laughter] I don't know. It's just one. of those things. I don't like to walk. away from something. And so I'm going to. double down on You famously have said. that you'll do anything in the name of. comedy. So, I think if you think of it. in terms of you got to be funny, that's. a really. >> Have Liza film you. >> Bring them in and we'll do it here on. the podcast.

>> Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. >> Why don't we compete? We'll have some. cases cuz you get very competitive. >> Yeah, we could compete. Sure. I'll do. whatever I'm told to do. >> I'll crush you. >> All right, you guys. Onward and. sideways. I'm going to come right out with it. >> Oh god. >> Uh I developed a an insane man crush on. you. The first time you were on the. podcast, it was I believe during the.

pandemic. It was it was. >> and uh you were virtual and I thought I. like this chap uh enormously and I was a. big fan of your work. Then you came in. and did it in person and uh my heart's. been fluttering ever since. Oh, stop. your stop your giddy Irish ways. [laughter] Keep going. >> I can't. >> No, go on. Go on. >> It's literally uh Oh, stop. But go on. >> Yes. Always. >> So many confusing signals. Um, >> you are an absolute delight. You're an. imp. >> Uh, yeah. You You omitted the ch before.

that, didn't you? [laughter]. >> You are a uh a Welsh leprechaun, if. there is such a thing. Is there an. equivalent in Wales of the leprechaun? >> They're called leprechauns. Yes. >> Okay. They have weapons. Okay. >> Weaponized leprechauns. Uh, I was like, "Oh my god, I want to just go hang out. with this man. >> Let's do it.". >> And I had not just yet. Let's Let's do. this first and then we can monetize it. and then you and I will hang out and. we'll spend the profits. [laughter]. >> Um, but I'm going to tell you a quick. secret. Uh, which is that you were. talking about a boat that you had.

purchased that you had fixed up. yourself. >> Yes. >> And you were uh floating this boat. around the what? The Hudson River. The. East River. >> The East and the Hudson. And the harbor. of New York. and you were driving it. around. >> And so I was intrigued, so intrigued by. our conversation that I looked up a. photo of you in your boat. >> and I thought, "Well, that's a handsome. looking boat.". >> And then I started doing a deep dive on. the boat and up popped a model, a. replica of that same type of boat. >> popped up and I said, "I'm going to get.

that from my man crush, eat your heart. out, Olphant, uh, Matthew Reese." And so. it popped up and I said, "I'm going to. get it." And then I hit on the screen, it's quite expensive. Oh yes. >> And suddenly I lost my uh essence for. this boat. >> But part of me is thinking I've got to. scrape up the money and get you this. model. It's a model of the boat that you. have. It's the And I feel like Adam, we. have to scrape up the funds to make this. happen. He's giving the thumbs up. >> and you'll pay for it. >> There's no I'm asking there's no.

microphone on him. You'll pay for it. And that's a nod. Yes. Good. We'll I'll. get this for you. >> No. No. Well, surely we can start some. kind of Kickstarter now. >> [laughter]. >> a go a gofundme that begins right now. >> Can I tell you something? People love it. when celebrities start a Kickstarter. >> for um a childish amusement that they. will keep for themselves. >> Yes. Yes. Especially men because they. will relate to it. They said he needs. that model. It's the model we've all. deserved. It checks a box within our emotional. hearts.

>> Um I want to connect with you. Uh and. I'm going to start by uh saying uh let's. start with so much to talk about cuz I I. adore your work. But Wales, let's start. with Wales because that's the secret to. cracking this gentleman. >> Wales. You are Welsh through and. through. >> I am. >> And um I I there's so much that I don't. know about Wales. >> I really don't because uh it's it's a. mystery to me. I know that you don't use. any vowels when you write something. >> They were outlawed by the English in. 1282.

>> They stole your vows. >> Yes. They take their vows. That'll learn. them. >> Dr. They'll drown in their own spit. So, [laughter]. I know that it's uh very important to. you and the the the Welsh language is. very important to you. >> It is. It is. >> Now, I did a travel show recently and I. went to Ireland. >> and I appeared on uh a show where they. only speak it's a it's a soap opera. where they only speak. >> Irish. >> Yes. >> And all my lines were in Irish. It was. very difficult. >> Yes. >> Is the Welsh language more difficult.

than Irish? Is it similar at all? Help. me. I would say it's akin in many ways. in in in its difficulty level as to as. to learning. Ironically, for for two. Celtic languages, they're very they're. very different. Um where Welsh is. um far more similar to Breton in. Northern France and Mans and the aisle. of man, you can if you see those. languages, Cornish as well, you can see. the similarities with the Scots and the. Irish, they they share that similarity.

But w with regards to kind of hard. guttural sounds, I think we're right. there with with the Irish. >> Yes. It sounds like someone has thrown. silverware down some stone steps when. you guys speak. It's just. >> um. >> I'll be taking that one home. >> Yeah, you that's yours. And I'll get you. the model. Um and and this. >> you it is important to you that uh Welsh. is spoken in your home occasionally. Is. that right? You're trying to teach it to. uh some of the children. >> I am. I am. uh with with varying degrees.

of success, but um you know, Carrie and. I have a nine-year-old son, and I spoke. to him. >> purely in Welsh from from the moment he. was he was born and continue to do so. >> Really? How's he doing in school? >> Not very [laughter] well. Not very well. >> Yes. His his his friends bring umbrellas. and raincoats. [laughter]. >> He's been held back 15 times. >> Yes. >> Which is hard to do for a 9-year-old. >> It is. But he's managed it. He he he's. he's now at the point and it's it's I'm. it kind of kills me a bit but obviously. when as conversations become more.

involved and more complicated and I. realize if you haven't if you haven't. introduced more complex Welsh words. early on now, you know, when I when I. speak to him and I bring in a complex. Welsh word, he'll just say, "Oh, just. say it in mama's language.". >> Yes. >> So and I go, "Oh, rats." So, I'm I feel. the beginnings of starting to lose him, which which sort of breaks my heart, but. not lose him. Lose him maybe for now. I. know it'll peak control and eb and flow. My hope is well, that's what I'm.

threatening him with. You know, >> as long as you're threatening your. child, good things will come. >> That's what I've said. I I've monetized. it and I've I've threatened college with. it and all kinds of toys in between. Christmas can be cancelled the. cancellation of Welsh. >> Uh, and I'm curious, first of all, oh, you mentioned Christmas. Um, Christmas. in Wales. uh one of the great uh poems. of all time. Um and so occasionally I. fantasize about what would it be like to. have Christmas in Wales. Is it as.

romantic as I think it is or is no? The. reality is everyone just goes to Walmart. and gets a Christmas tree like we do. here. >> Yes, of course. And and you know, you. know, excessive drinking and and kind of. shouting mainly and then no one can. remembers what happened on Christmas. Day. >> Is it true that your Santa is a terrible. alcoholic? >> Yeah, well it's a raging [laughter] one. the raging one. But it makes for great. frivolity on the rooftops. Yes. But. apparently there's only one Welsh Santa. cuz all the other Santaas refused to do. whales cuz you know it was. >> They won't go there.

>> No. They were like, "Give it to that. drunken fool." [laughter] Yes. That imp. Yeah. It doesn't even. >> He's lost his naughty and nice list a. long time ago. He doesn't know. >> You You scoundrel, you'll get nothing. >> It was quite good. That was quite good. >> Only the the irony is if you're given. coal in Wales, kids are overjoyed. THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, LOOK WHAT I GOT. >> [laughter]. >> SHUT THAT UP, YOU ENGLAND. >> YES, >> WE'LL HAVE A WARM CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL. >> YES. AHA. LET'S COOK ON THIS. >> UH, you know, it's so funny. My first. introduction to you really was uh your.

role in in the spectacular TV show, The. Americans. Um, and so that's how I knew. you. And when I first spoke to you on. the podcast, it was unsettling because I. mean again a tribute to the fact that. you're an actor, but it's always crazy. to me uh and especially in your case. that um you had me completely suckered. uh and then you are this other fellow.

and it's as stunning and you continue to. do that and I don't know how the sense I. get is that anyone in Britain or the. United Kingdom is much better at doing. an American accent than of course than. we are at doing anything uh similar to. your accident. >> Oh, it is a it is an accident. Believe. me, by the grace of God I but and a. happy accident I I will gladly admit to. But I but I do and I know if I if I said. this last time, I do I do believe that.

>> the amount of American television we. grew up watching and as young kids going. out into the yard to play Star Hutch or. the A Team or Airwolf or any of those, you know, as kids growing up, whereas. kids in America don't go out. >> to the schoolyard to play Downtown. Abbey, which is seemingly the only thing. that. >> I did. Well, yes, of course. >> I was taunted and fetch me another. pheasant boy. [laughter] Yes. Yes. I used to always want to play Scrooge, you know. >> YES. YES. YOU BOY, FETCH ME THE GOOSE IN. THE BUSHES.

>> THE WINDOW. I MUST HAVE IT. >> YES. I'm not playing Tiny Tim again. [laughter]. >> Yeah. I was beaten roundly by everyone. in my neighborhood. >> But it's an incredible I I think I found. this over the years that when I would. talk to. >> um anyone who was from England, Scotland, Wales, they just have such a. great storytelling custom that it was. always a fun interview. >> Yeah. Oh, yes. Well, I do, you know, I. think, you know, the the Kelts do we we. we viciously and proudly say we, you. know, that the the the oral storytelling.

tradition handed down from the midst of. time is still, you know, is now the. modern day pub Rackon, and that's and. that's who we've remained to be. [clears throat]. >> Um, I just want to go back. You know, Dylan Thomas sold the rights to a. child's Christmas in Wales to an. inordinate amount of people. >> As he was rampaging around New York, he. was just saying, "I have this wonderful. little story. I should like to sell you. the rights. And they were like, "Oh, great." Yes. Harper's Bizaarre bought. it. Everyone bought the rights to. >> he sold it like 800 times. >> 800 times, which I thought was one of.

the greatest grifts of all time in the. time of kind of pre, you know, precomputer madness. >> and famously uh he passed in a pub, I. think, down. right here, the white outside the White. Horse, the White House, and then passed. at St. Vincent. Yeah. >> Yeah. Um and I don't know if the White. Horse uh celebrates that. Well, [laughter] there's still a little. >> a famous uh a famous poet died or got. sick here and died. >> Yes. >> Not many restaurants or pubs want that. known. >> No. Or can say it. He's also he's also.

on the mural at um it's not Maneta. Tavern. It is the Waverly Inn. He's on. the wall there as well. But he's heavily. he's still heavily pictured at the at. the White Horse. It's worth a pint a. quiet pint on that. >> They made a lot of money off of him. I. >> They did got Yeah. There's still a lot. of Welsh tourists who pay the you know. the pilgrim who make the omage and the. pilgrimage there. When you belly up to a. bar, what is your what is your logger? What is your pint? What do you like to. have? >> Now, that depends exactly on the time of. day and the and the time of year. >> 3:30 October. Late October. It's 3:30 in.

the afternoon. It's a light rain. Guinness. >> Guinness. >> Incredible. I love a Guinness. I love a. Guinness. >> How How much did you get through in. Ireland? >> Um, I did pretty well. Uh, I um. >> I love a Guinness and it does taste. better in Ireland. I will say that. >> I totally agree. So, at the moment, I. this is a segue of of we're just talking. about all things Welsh. I've put it. taken it upon myself to do probably the. Welshiest of all Welsh things, >> and I'm going to do a one-man play about.

Richard Burton. >> Yes, I know about this. Oh, you do? >> Yes, I do know about this. This is. You're going to play uh and this is your. return to the Welsh stage for the first. time in how many years? >> 22. >> 22 years. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> That's got to be a little terrifying. it. I am I now at this point. Sorry, I. was trying to link it to the facts about. the oral story storytelling tradition, but I wasn't a complete. >> and then get us back to Guinness, please. >> Well, Burton's the an easy [laughter] an. easy link back. >> How are you going to get from Richard. Burton to alcohol?

>> I don't know. Give me just give me a. moment. He had a friend called Richard. Harris. Yes. >> You can come back in a week. >> Yeah. Yes. I've cracked it. Yes. >> So, uh Yes. You're going back to the. Welsh stage where you got your start. >> You did. when you were but a wee lad. You're going to go back for the first. time in 22 years. What is your greatest. fear that they just stare at you? >> There is that. Well, there's a number of. things. I I was I was fortunate to play. Dylan Thomas once in a film and I. realized when you go especially to a. place like Wales where we have few but.

select but incredible icons Dylan. Thomas, Richard Burton, Shirley Bassie, Sean Phillips, Rachel Roberts. We have. these incredible performers, actors, singers, everything. But the nation. itself has an incredibly personal. relationship, an individual personal. relationship with that icon. So your. take on Dylan Thomas is wildly different. from what everyone else deems it to be. So a lot of people are like, I saw you. Dylan Thomas. I don't think you got it. right. You know, there's Yeah. And you.

think. >> And that could be a that could be. someone driving a bus. >> or or my father in this case. Yes. [laughter]. >> That's all dads. >> Yes. But he does drive a bus. Yes. Which. is which is ironic. [laughter] So, so my. one of my great fears is that one I this. I have this thing where going where I. think all the people bought tickets are. going to go who does he think he is that. he can play Richard Burton. Now that is. a great I would say Welsh I would go as. far as to say Celtic affliction as to. who do you think you are syndrome. >> Oh my god yes.

>> I mean that we if that was an Olympic. sport we would podium every time. >> So there's that. Then there is the. secondary version or level to that which. you go when you do it they go well that. wasn't Richard Burton. That wasn't. Richard Burton at all. And and also. >> I knew Richard Burton. Yes. >> We were in school together. >> Yes. >> That's the problem is you're you're. rubbing shoulders with people. You're. performing for people who have a. personal very strong connection with. this. >> The fi This is what I've done to myself. The final performance of the tour is in. the chapel that Richard Burton attended.

It'll be live streamed to the Miner's. Arms, which is the pub that he and his. family drank in. And his family have. been invited to the chapel to watch the. final performance. >> Oh my god. >> I think they've made it the final. performance. So, I can literally fall on. my sword at the at the curtain call. [laughter] with an apology. I say, "Sorry, Jenkins is Yes. >> YOU KNOW HARRY? DO YOU KNOW HARRY? HARRY. CURIOUS ABOUT TIME.". >> YES. >> SO, you are going to get Yeah. I mean, that's your fear. Uh, my money's on you. Say that. You are, I think, one of the.

finest actors alive, and I think that. you will carry it off gloriously. Uh, but uh I I also fear for you [laughter]. terribly. Um, well, I'm very excited. about uh another matter. >> involving you, Mr. Ree. If I can call. you Mr. Ree. >> Mrs. Reese doesn't seem right. [laughter] Um, >> mysteries. >> History's mysteries. That should be your. podcast where you talk about history. that's not true. Um, I am a massive fan. of the historian, Mr. Robert Carrow.

I've read all of his works. I've. interviewed him. I stalked him for a. while. Uh, I think he's, uh, just a. treasure, as they say, national. treasure. And one of his great books, maybe one of his greatest books, uh, if. it's not the Lynden Johnson series, uh, The Power Broker about Robert Moses is. one of the most amazing historical works. in history. And um I understand that you. may be working on some kind of version.

Yes. >> Of the power broker. >> We are. We are working on. >> Who is we? >> Um. >> Oh, maybe you're not allowed to talk. about this yet. I don't want to get you. in I mean I do want to get you in. trouble but not for this. >> But remember last time yes you very. kindly bailed me out. Um yes there. there's there's a. >> what can you say? Why don't you just say. what you can say? There is a select. group of us who have uh approached a a. very well-known. >> bunch of criminal streaming platform. >> There are a few of us known criminals. who are conspiring.

>> Yes. >> But but at the moment um Mr. Dear Mr. Caro has um he doesn't have an issue. with handing over the rights to the. power broker. >> Um other agencies and publishing houses. do. So at the moment it's in this. stalemate um whereby I know the flicks. called net are trying to. >> um. >> work things out. >> Yes. And acquire the rights to the power. broker. It's been pitched. They do want. to do it. >> Is it possible then that you would play.

Robert Moses, the man who more than. anyone uh created the the New York City. that we know today? >> Yes. That's that's basically the the. fundamental pitch. >> Okay. Uh, I have no sway in this. business at all. I have a little bit of. sway with Robert Caro just because I. think um he knows me. I've interviewed. him. He knows I'm a huge fan and an. acolyte of his. >> Um, but I would do everything in my. power to make sure that you play. I. think you'd be amazing. Uh, and I think. that would be a just a terrific project.

I well I certainly think it's it's a. story and a book that needs to get made. because the sheer scale and scope of it. but also mo Moses as a human being as an. individual if you read that play book. >> is. staggering. It it it lays Shakespeare to. the sword because you cannot quite. believe. >> the ascent of that man. >> And that man had more power than maybe.

anyone in American history, save the. president, but he was able to. >> um it's unimaginable now. >> Yes. But he could just say, um, I think. this highway should go here and all of. these buildings in my way shall be. destroyed. >> and these communities removed. >> And these communities removed and it. would happen as if he were a zar. >> Yes. >> And it was um the way he understood. power. And that's a real Caro's. obsession is how people accumulate power.

and how they use it and who are the. masters at that. And of course, the. other one is Lynden Johnson. And he's. it's just this thing that he writes. about so well and he understands so. well. >> That beautifully beautifully put. >> I'm very talented. >> You are. But it's the understanding of. power. >> I might be the Robert Moses of comedy. >> Oo. >> Yeah. I have laid waste to so many. communities. >> When when I have a joke I want to do, I. destroy communities and my whole. tenementss and buildings come down. Yes. >> And then I I it's just a quick word play.

pun and but people have lost their. buildings. Yes. Um I uh I I hope this. happens and um I uh I will I will pray. on that tonight when I kneel and I say. my prayers that my it's all about my. career of course. >> Nothing about the family. >> No. Think of the commission. [laughter]. >> Yes. >> I would love that. I would love that to. happen. >> So would I. So would I. >> I'll make it happen. >> Okay. Good. You heard it here first. >> Yes. And you'll hear it here last. Now I. want to bring up one more Celtic thing. which is you have claimed that you have. and that you have profited from in your.

career. Celtic eyes. Oh, yes. Yes. >> Tell me what are Celtic eyes, what they. are, and then I'll ask you my follow-up. question. >> Well, actually, [clears throat] what I. was what I was going to say it was an. accusation, but it's it was more of an. inquiry. >> You're not to accuse me of anything. >> No, I I I have a number of things I'd. like to accuse you of, but we'll wait. till we stop rolling for that. [laughter] Yes. >> It was I sat down at a dinner party in. Los Angeles once. >> and a very very dashing older kind of. silver fox gentleman turned to me and he. just went, "Irish." I went, "No,

Scottish." I went, "No." Then, "Well, then what are you?" I said, "Well, oh, of course, the other Celtic." And I. said, "I'm sorry. What made you say. that?" He goes, "Ckeeltic lids. You've. got Celtic lids." He goes, "I could. really help you out." He was a plastic. surgeon. And what he was inferring was. is the sort of slight droop. >> on the top of our eyes, which is, I. think, you know, centuries being. downtrodden makes you go, "Oh, I'm so. sorry." You know, genetically, >> and the cold dust. >> that that does it, too. >> It's everything. Yeah. It's it's having. it's both emotional and practical that.

you keep dust out of your eyes but also. you take your place you know in society. and apologize for being there more more. importantly. Um, and so yes, it was. suggest. >> he wanted to I mean, first of all, these. are someone was going to try and fix. your I you say lids. I call them. peepers. Um, >> Jeepers Creepers. What's inside those. papers? >> Exactly. One of my favorite poems also. Um, [laughter]. >> from Dylan Thomas. >> Dylan Thomas's. Uh, he did a lot of. great stuff. >> He did. He He did.

>> Purple polka dot bikini was his. >> Yes. With the sidewalk ends. Yes. [laughter]. >> So, I'm I'm fascinated that anyone would. try and touch those eyes because those. are great. I would think they've they've. been so useful to you in acting. >> Well, there's another there's another. moment when I was I I was very lucky to. be to when the um when the Americans was. finishing I believe it was the New. Yorker that wrote a very a nice article. saying that I was like what is it called. the king of downtrodden tragedy and. there was a photo of me. >> and I looked at the photo and I went.

that's my resting face. [laughter] I'm. not acting I'm not doing anything. That. is what my face looks like. You can. project whatever it is you wish upon. that downtrodden face and if you bleed. in some emotional music, it might give. you something cinematic. But at that. moment, I was doing nothing. Yes. >> Which that that's all it does. Cut you. to the quick. >> It fans the flame of your imposttor. syndrome. That all it does.

>> [music]. >> All right, this brings up my next. question. Yeah. Um, first of all, look. at my eyes. >> Yes. >> Do I have anything? Is there any Celtic. anything going on in my eyes? My eyes. are narrow. They're suspicious. They're. creepy. >> Um, it's kept me out of film my entire. life. What can we do? Help me. Help me. >> I watch I did watch uh I did watch a.

documentary about Charlie Sheen the. other day. Y. >> and he said there was this one time. where obviously he was struggling. struggling with substance abuse um which. isn't funny but one thing he did he. realized he was falling asleep mid take. and he did do you know this? >> Yes. and he asked for the cup of ice and. he inserted an ice cube into his rectum. and he said it gave him like. >> and it finished the scene and then they. showed the scene in the documentary and. he's very present. >> and aware and I thought in that moment I. went good god he's cracked it.

>> my downtrodden lids if I just give the. old you know one up the shoot right and. I've gone bing and like all of a sudden. you know you. >> right now you're doing it. >> LOOK AT ME I'M LIKE I COULD play. Scarface AGAIN I'M LIKE OH YOU Dave. Hey. [laughter]. >> Right. It just gives you the zing. >> Uh, so you're saying if I shoved ice up. my ass, these eyes would open up. >> Oh, like like a I'm trying to think of. something that opens [laughter] up. >> Just. like a a mall on Christmas Eve.

>> THERE YOU GO. NOW WE'RE TALKING. SO, um. I uh let's call it pulling a sheen from. now on. >> Oh, okay. Good. >> I think that's the way to do it. Do you. need to pull a sheen? Uh. >> yes. I'll be back in a minute. >> Yeah. And then [clears throat] zing. ring. And then in you come. [laughter]. Uh, you talked about imposttor syndrome. >> Yes. >> Everybody has imposttor syndrome. >> Well, weirdly with this Richard Burton. piece, it's the first oneman show I've. ever done. >> And and the true great fear I have is. that I will forget my lines because.

that's it. It's just like stand up. It's. just you and the audience. >> So, I've started [clears throat] what. I've started doing now is doing a run. through if I go wrong is not stopping or. correcting myself. is seeing how I get. out of that because that will ultimately. be I think the lifeline. So that that is. an entirely new discipline for me. Yes, it did a little bit on stage but you're. always with another actor who will help. you catch you throw. >> They're your cue. They're giving you I. mean you're leading each other but it's.

a dance and now you're out there alone. >> Yes. And I've forgotten my lines in the. past and another actor has saved me. And. this for the first time playing Richard. Burton going home after 22 years. I will. do something alone. And my my what I'm. intrigued is how do I exactly you say. how do I get out of those moments when. it doesn't seem like I messed I try and. make it seem. >> I have a suggestion. Yes. If you're open. to it, >> don't do it. >> If you can get out of the play, I would. get out. Yes. >> I think you're a terrible actor.

>> Yes. Good. This is good. This is good. >> You shouldn't be on the stage. Um, >> should I get my eyes done? >> Yes. And immediately get your eyes done. >> Eyes, please. [laughter]. >> Um, you should put a little thing in the. program. Yeah. A little message. Yeah. >> And it says, you know, they always say. this takes place on New Year's Day. Richard Burton's apartment in 1968. Okay. Was it 68? I just was making that. date. I serious. >> We literally said at the same time. >> Okay. So, [clears throat] um, this is. how good I am. Of course, I don't have.

>> Scott's good. Yes. >> Uh, so, um, you should have a little. thing that says, "On this day, Richard. Burton. >> has a very bad cold.". >> And then you come in, enter coughing. Yeah. >> Then start your speeches, let the cough. melt away. >> Yeah. >> But anytime you start to lose it a. little bit, >> GO [laughter]. THINKING. Thinking. >> the whole time. What's next? What's. next? >> Find it. FIND IT. FIND IT. >> AND THEN YOU'LL find Yeah, that's it.

the cough. And people will say. >> he'd never missed a line. >> Yeah. >> And God, he he he made me feel like he. really was sick. >> Good. God, that's genius. >> That's the work of genius. >> Well, >> you should direct theater. >> You know what? No one's [clears throat]. ever said that to me and no one ever. will. Seriously, but I'm going to take. you up on that. Something to consider. Quit everything I'm doing. >> What would be the Irish one-man show. that you would want to do? Which. Irishman? Oh, wait. Surely there's one. about Harris you could do. >> Oh my god. Well, I mean, first of all,

the worst thing I could do in my career. would be for me uh an American uh you. know, third generation. uh Irish American to return to Ireland. and attempt uh a true accent. >> They would destroy me. >> Do it. >> Was Harris ever on your show? >> Yes, he was. >> How many times? >> Uh he was on once, I believe. And I. watched the interview recently because. one of the problems with doing so much. volume, >> thousands and thousands of hours of.

television, four of them quite good. I. [laughter]. I decided that um Oh my god, I. remembered I got to speak to the great. iconic uh uh Richard Harris. >> Yeah. >> And I I have a very dim memory of it. And then I realized, wait a minute, I. can watch it. So I typed in Conan. Richard Harris. He came up. >> I watched the whole interview. He was. spectacular. And at one point he.

finishes his story with great bravado. and throws himself back in his chair, roaring, laughing, and his chair starts. to tip over and Andy and I kind of grab. him and pull him back. He was an. absolute delight. [clears throat]. Everything you'd want him to be. >> Amazing. And um little moments like that. are so spectacular. >> And now you have this this. retrospectively where you know when the. great die you look back and go now I'll. watch me talking to him. >> Yeah. But you know what's funny? I'm. often when I see those moments I think. why is he there? Meaning why is not why.

is why is Richard Harris. >> why is RICHARD HARRIS THERE? WHY ISN'T. >> WHY WASN'T IT PETER OUL? >> NO. WHY ISN'T IT JUST me alone? >> Yes. Why is Harris mcking it up? I could. have done much better with that story. >> Uh yeah, exactly. Uh no, I just see. myself with with a a Richard Harris or a. David Bowie and go, "Oh my god, it's. that thing where you just are, can you. lose him? Why is he there?". >> But I'm serious. I know. I know. >> because the other person is legitimate.

and you are not legitimate and that's. just the way it is and you have to. accept it. >> Yes. And we go through the world, you. know, meeting these people and feeling. like that. I also do think that, you. know, the Celtic gene doesn't help us. No, >> the English are much better at it. >> You know, there is a thing I um when you. go there's a true suspicion when you go. back to when I go back to Ireland. >> Uh and I love it there and I love the. people, but I know that. >> if you've gone off to America, if your.

people went off to America and then. you're coming back as a television. personality in America, you're asking. for it. Of course. >> You know who the fat do you think? >> Oh, here he is. [laughter] Berty. big balls. Look at him. Yeah, >> exactly. And that's the attitude when. they stamp your passport. Um, and. everybody's hilarious. That's the other. thing I've learned, and you probably. have this in Wales, too, where. >> I'll think, well, I've really been. honing my craft.

>> since, you know, childhood. And through. much striving and working, I think I've. honed my skills to this high level. And. then I get off the plane and I get in a. cab and the cab driver is funnier than. anyone I've ever met. Yes. >> Including me. And you're like, "Oh, it's. in the water.". >> I know. You're [laughter] like, "Oh god, I really am an imposter. I shouldn't. even be in this taxi.". >> And that's why and and they won't forget. a grudge. I was in Belfast.

and we're driving along. I was going to. do uh they were having some thing for. Game of Thrones that they wanted me to. host. It was during the last season of. Game of Thrones and they said, "Would. you come up and host this night for the. Game of Thrones cast?" And I'm such a. fan. Of course. I I fly to I go to. Belfast uh for the first time. And I get. in a cab and we're driving along and. then I notice out of the out of the side. I say, "Hey, it says Harland Wolf.".

>> And I remembered in the way back of my. mind, "Harland Wolf shipyard. That's the. that's where they made they made the. Titanic.". >> And I said, "Wow, they uh they made the. Titanic." Um and I said to the the. driver, I said, "That's where they made. the Titanic." He went, "That's right.". And I said, "Oh, uh well uh that ship uh. didn't last too long, did it?" And he. went uh uh he said it was the English's. fault. He said the English had sunk it. He said it was in pretty good. shape when we gave it to him. [laughter]. >> And I'm like And he said it as if this.

was something that went down two days. ago. >> Yeah. >> He's still got that chip on his. shoulders. We gave it to the English. It. was WE DIDN'T TELL HIM TO RUN IT INTO AN. [laughter]. >> YOU. And so I mean it just I love I love the. old wounds that are as fresh. >> Oh. Oh, my father still talks about. 1282, you know, when Yes. when the. English killed off when the last of the. royal Welsh family. They're like, well, it all turned to then, didn't it? You're like, well, I suppose. Yes. I. don't know. >> So, everything after 1282 has no.

[laughter]. >> NO, NO WONDER WE'RE ALL LIKE THIS, YOU. KNOW? WE'RE TRYING to block out the. world. [laughter]. It's been crapo ever since. >> To say it's all been shite. >> Ever since it was flames, IT WAS GOLDEN. AGE [laughter] up until then. >> Yes. Uh, we were okay until the bronze. age came along. >> Yes, they ruined it for us. >> I must discuss uh briefly. >> the power broker. >> You're a lovely partner. >> Oh yes, she is a power broker. >> Is she a power broker. >> in every sense? I am a mere porn.

>> Do is that true? Does she control you? >> Sorry. Prawn is what she calls me. [laughter]. >> Yes. >> Are you a prawn. >> in many ways? Shelfish to to the nth. degree. >> Um, I'm just curious. I watch uh I'm. going to give a quick shout out to the. beautiful and talented uh Carrie Russell. who I'm entranced by the diplomat. She's. incredible in everything she does. >> And um I was always stunned.

uh to I was stunned to find out and. still stunned that you two because. you're actors and you start in this. series together, The Americans, you had. to have a chemistry read. >> Yeah. To have a chemistry read with. someone who then later on becomes your. life partner. >> It's fascinating to me because I never. had a chemistry read with my wife. >> Wait, what? >> And I think we should. >> DOESN'T YOU HAVE AN AGENT? SURELY YOU. HAVE MANAGEMENT. DEAR GOD, WHAT ARE THEY. DOING? DON'T GIVE THEM 10%. [laughter]. >> YES. >> I think if my wife and I had had a. chemistry read, I wouldn't have children.

right now. The whole thing would have. fallen apart. These two have nothing. SO. THE. >> GET HER OUT OF THERE. >> BUT IT GOT ME THINKING. uh that everyone. should have a chemistry read before I. mean essentially that's. >> that's uh what people some people do uh. the cath the Catholic church has some. version of it. >> of course. >> where they you two should get together. and have a convers some conversations in. the company of a priest. >> uh but that's no chemistry read let's. face it. >> did you know in the chemistry read we. have real chemistry.

>> no. >> no I couldn't and and I've I struggle a. bit with the term chemistry read because. you know I've I've done so Many of them. they go, "Well, they want you to do a. chemistry read." And then you go, "Do. you mean they just want me to act with. another actor? Is that what they want me. to do?". >> It's a silly It's a silly term. >> Yes. But and then I think sometimes what. they secretly do is in between the. acting, they want to see if you're. joking and having fun or you might like. each other. Do you know what I mean? And. if they might get on set. I don't I. honestly don't know. I struggle a bit. with the term chemistry. I'm always. like, I can pretend to like that person.

in the room and then hopefully they'll. give me the job and then I'll act my. best in the acting bits, but that's all. pretty much I can do. >> Yes. >> Um but they she also she had to slap me. in our chemistry read and and the. director said um one of the reasons he. said we cast you is because you took. that slap so well. And I went I had no. idea she was going to slap me. It was. absolut I was reeling in shock that she. did it. It really hurts. >> Oh, I my ears were ringing. They went,

"God, you took it so well." I was like, it caught up with me like 3 days later. Yeah. >> I had no idea that was happening. So, you know, there are strange happen. stance like that where you go, "Oh, thank God I didn't go, OH CHRIST, WHAT. ARE YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WOMAN?". >> Is there tape rolling on this? >> Oh, yeah. It's so funny to me the idea. of your your your family being able to. at any point. >> look at a tape of this is when our. parents met each other and it's you. getting the kicked out of you. >> Yes. Yes. Well, they're they're like, "Well, that must that's like any.

Wednesday really." So, [laughter] but. also but I forgot. Yes. >> Constant beatings. >> Of course. Oh, there's that again. Yeah. But but we'd actually met about um god. 15 16 years prior to that. Wow. and and. at a kickball party that Jennifer Gray. threw in in Los Angeles and I. >> Those are famous. >> Well, those are famous debotched. parties, >> which is why I fought my way in. [laughter] I WAS LIKE, "GOD DAMN IT, there's a reason they call it dirty. dancing and I'm [laughter] I'm making my.

way in. >> It can't really mean kickball. It must. mean some other kind of kickball. >> It's code." Yes. Um, so I at the end of. the party I'd asked for her number and. I'd then very drunkenly left a message. on her, you know, back in the old days. when it was beep, you know, and she said. some drunken Welsh idiot left her a. message and that was me. So. >> we kind of reminded ourselves of each. other after that. So I' I'd remembered. that I'd met her many many years. earlier, but wasn't the time and place. for me to go, "Oh, guess what? Do you.

remember that fateful night when I. opened a beer with a key on my thumb and. I was inebriated and had to walk home. and left you a message with all made of. consonants, not a single vowel. Uh I remember that when we did our first. podcast and as I said it was during. COVID and you were it looked like you. were talking in a basement. >> You were you were you were shrouded in. darkness. Um, and it looked so sad. And.

then in the background, this angel walks. by with a hamper of laundry. >> I know. >> And I was like, [laughter]. Carrie. >> And I put my creep glasses on and. started filming, but she was. >> telegram. Hey, TELEGRAM, MISS RUSSELL, >> IT WON'T WORK. YOU'RE ON ZOOM. >> YES. [laughter]. >> DAMN IT. >> Separated by Zoom. All my creepy tricks. won't work. Um, I want to talk about. this new project. And there's a little. strange I'm have some connection to this.

project that you've done, The Beast in. Me. Yes. Which is that early early on I. got. >> a production company and this I had this. production company and the wonderful and. uh very intelligent uh wise David. Kissinger said, "There's this script. that I found that's amazing. He brought. it to me. I read it. >> Um I think Jodie Foster had seen it." So. Jody came in and we just started talking. about how amazing this script was.

>> and we were doing our best to try and. shepherd this thing along. But once. people hear Conan O'Brien's involved, >> everyone flees. >> That imposter. >> That imposter. Yeah. Yes. >> He's phoning it in again. >> Is he wearing those glasses? And uh. >> did you get one of his telegraphs? >> Yes. [laughter]. >> They're not real, you know. is um and so. uh time goes by and then I find out that. oh wait this is actually going to happen. >> and uh it's going to uh it's it's going.

to get made but I I wasn't sure we for a. while we were thinking who is going to. play this part and then I find out it's. Claire Danes and then I find out that. it's you and I had no no one would. listen to me anyway but someone did call. me at one point and said what are you uh. what do you think of for the part for. the the the second lead or the the the. co-star of it? What do you think of uh. Matthew Reese? And I was like I I love. that guy. I would I he is he's got to do.

this. I want to have my name in. something that you're and and listen, I. take no credit for anything. I'll demand. money. I'll make sure that I take that I. get a big enough piece that it hurts the. production. >> always. Um, >> always [laughter]. >> why I did it for bread. >> Yeah, exactly. Uh, but uh, no, I I can. take no credit for anything other than I. loved this script a long time ago and I. uh, very much wanted to see this make. it. And um, I I hope my name was of some.

use. It may have harmed. >> and my 70% of the profits. Uh, I I'm. ashamed. >> No, you should. No, you earned it. You've earned it. And thank you for the. vote of confidence. >> By doing nothing, I've earned it. >> Oh, stop. It's the other thing that no. one realizes the amount of years that go. into development. So when people like. you and Jodie Foster going, "No, this. should get made." You know, it's Thank. God that you do. >> Jod was a child at the time. >> Yes. >> She just done Taxi Driver. She had done. >> I was in I was in fourth grade. Um and I.

said, "I think we should make this." Um. and no one listened to us cuz I was in. Brooklyn, Massachusetts. Um and uh so. >> you just done Bugsy Malone [laughter]. with Alan Parker. >> Yeah. So, uh, no, it was a long time. ago. This. >> people don't understand how long it. takes. And the securitous roots, it's a. musical for a while. Now, it's an. animated series. Um, >> yeah. No, no, it's very true. >> I was all going to be done with cats for. a while. >> Yes. Well, that they haven't ruled that. out. [laughter].

Um, but it was it it reminded me of. I want to be careful with this, but it. it was there's a sense of it being an. oldfashioned thriller, which I haven't. seen in a very long time, where a. concept kind of is sometimes. overpowering and overwhelming in certain. productions these days. And what I just. loved was that you have um two people. who are basically intrigued with each. other and they then therefore begins a. very uh gripping and thrilling cat and.

mouse game. It was it's old-fashioned. thriller tension and I I love that about. it cuz it's it when I read it, it did. the same thing that it does when you. watch it. You go, "Oh my god, how is. this going to unfold?". >> Yeah, that's how I felt reading that. script for the first time. the fact that. Howard Gordon is is the is the brain. behind this. >> Well, also, you know, when I said when. obviously it was CLA's project, so they. said, you know, Claire Dan's Howard. Gordon, you know, the the Homeland team. are back together. And as soon as you. hear that, you're like, okay, I'm in.

>> Then they said, we didn't ask you. >> I was like, I I know, but I'm still in. >> Do you just crash meetings and go, I'm. in. >> Yeah. And they go, who [laughter] is. that? >> YES. STOP SAYING THAT. >> I'm in. >> Yeah. Yes. You somehow got into this. room. Yeah. >> You know what's funny? I've heard you. say uh in I think I've heard you say in. more than one interview, "Oh, I'm not an. A-list actor." And. >> that's true. >> I don't know. I think of you. I I think. of you I I don't know. Maybe maybe. actors think about that more than anyone. else. But I don't see why anyone.

wouldn't want you first and foremost for. something. You're money in the bank. >> Money in the bank. You're 70% in the. bank. What I what I want to start what I. want to start, okay, is in show parties. just going up to other actors going, "What letter are you? What letter are. you? A. Are you A? Are you B? Yes. But. really, how many A's are there anymore? A list. What? I mean, truly, >> I don't know what it even means. >> I would say five. Who are they? >> I don't know. >> I I don't know. >> That's what Biz Clipler. >> You're good. >> Chaz Maloney. >> Yes. Crazy.

>> Chazatak. >> Is he still around? Sheila McGee. >> Sheila McGee. >> See, it doesn't mean anything. >> No, I know. But who? Like. Mel Melstre. A Mel. A. >> Harrison Ford. A. No, he's falling. >> Why? Cuz he's going to TV. >> I think he's on radio now. He's doing. ads. [laughter]. >> He said, "Go to that car wash. It's a. good one. >> You need to land golf course." But I. think but it's very personal. It's it's. uh you know, Merryill, it doesn't matter. what your opinion is. She's up there.

And yeah, and Harrison Ford. Yes. >> He walks on screen, you go, "Oh my god.". Because you've grown up with these. Some. of that, too, is longevity. You've grown. up with them. You're still a young lad. You need more. >> Stop your ways. Stop your ways. >> Tom Cruz, another A. >> Yeah, sure. >> People who basically when they walk on. screen, you feel safe or comfortable. because you go, "Oh, we're okay now.". >> But I think it's increasingly. increasingly maybe an irrelevant term. because uh everything's so fractured.

now. We used to walk into the old movie. palaces and buy our popcorn and uh and. and our sod pop and we'd sit there and. we'd watch the golden legends up on the. screen. Those days are over. We're. watching we're watching things on an. airplane. We're watching things on. little screens on their phones. I watch. all the Academy nominated movies on my. phone. And sometimes I think that's. still too big. And I crack the phone in. half and I watch it then. >> through one eye. >> I Well, through one little my squinty. eye. >> Yeah. Yeah. Which one today? >> Yeah. Exactly. I'll use the left for.

this one. >> Oh, yes. It's all they deserve. Um, >> and also we've in, you know, we've read. on on Instagram what they've had for. lunch. So, there's no mystery. The. mystery is gone. >> Well, that's why you should stop telling. people what you've had for lunch. >> Why? People love it. [laughter] I had an. egg mayonnaise sandwich just before I. came in. I'm I'm 30 seconds from a heart. attack. [laughter]. Stay off the egg mayonnaise for God's. sake. >> Damn you. You'll do as you're told. >> Yeah. No, I won't. It's the devil's work. and I love the devil. I'll I just want. to get rent a cabin with you so we can. just yell at each other. Nothing sexual.

at first, but then we're just yelling at. EACH OTHER. DAMN YOU ALL HAVE YOUR EYES, YOU KNOW. IT'S JUST you and I yelling at. each other. >> It's basically mut on the bounty, but. we're all but we're both vying as to be. for who plays Captain Blind. >> WHO'S BLIND? >> DAMN IT. I SAW IT. >> I FEEL TERRIBLE FOR ONE man right now, and that's his name is Eduardo. Eduardo. does all of I don't know if you can hear. us, Eduardo. I hope you can. But he is. doing all the mixing right now and um I. think his board is probably on fire.

>> because you've got a Welshman and an. Irishman screaming at each other into. these very sensitive microphones. >> and um. >> he'll have tinitus for life. >> Exactly. >> But well, but he'll think of us. >> Yeah. And he'll know how to say tinitus. Most people don't. >> Oh, you say titus. >> I don't even say it anymore cuz I can't. I can't pronounce things over the. ringing in my ear. Do you have it? I. have it. I do it all the time. What's. that? >> I do. I want to get why did the ear horn. go away? The old ear ear trumpet that. comes out that people used to in 1920s. go. >> yes. >> I want to get one of those in my doage.

>> and then it'll be selective because you. can put it to your ear depending on. who's talking at what time. >> So exactly and with a hearing aid people. don't know but if I have a giant horn. that I hold up to my ear it'll be great. because I'll be listening to someone. else and then you'll start to talk and. I'll put it down. Oh, it could be the. ultimate social tool. >> Yes. >> The ultimate burn that what you're. saying means nothing to me. It just goes. down and it never comes up. >> Slowhorn down. >> Yeah. The [laughter] shd. You got shded.

by your Yes. >> So, am I coming back to your house. tonight? What's happening? >> Yes. I'd say we'll we'll we'll stop off. somewhere for a few cold ones and then. tell text Carrie that we're on. >> Two cold ones. Meaning ice for our ass. [laughter]. >> TWO 5B BAGS, PLEASE. >> WOULD YOU LIKE SOME ICE? NO, WE BROUGHT. OUR OWN. >> YES. WE BOTH BLOW ON OUR thumbs and it. comes shooting out. >> Yeah. >> Oh, come on, David. Grow up. >> It's not the first time. >> Yeah. Jesus Christ. >> David had to David's had to insert it. most of the time. Weird. >> No. Sheen me. Sheen was not me. Sheen.

>> Do you have Mr. Sheen in this country? The polish him. I I talked to him on the. podcast last week. >> Last week. >> Yeah. I talked to the man. He's doing. well. >> He's fine. He's in good fine fettle. >> Great. >> Yeah. >> Good. Your eyes just went dead cuz I was. talking about another actor. >> Yes. Well, there's three. I was holding. I was actually holding three Sheen in. [laughter] my head. I had Charlie Sheen, obviously. Um. >> his wonderful father. >> Yes. Martin Sheen. >> Martin. And then also Michael Sheen, a.

fellow Welshman who terrific. >> is responsible for this one man, Richard. Burton, cuz he's taken over the national. Welsh National Theater and said, "Come. and do something in Wales." And I went, "I'll come and do it.". >> Um I uh I admire you. >> Well, thank you. I admire to grow up and. be you one [laughter] day. Only I'm. older than you. Um, I uh I am delighted when you stopped. by because uh I can tell my wife today, she's in New York with me, saw that I. had a a little joy in my step today and. I said, "I'm seeing Mr. Matthew Reese.

and I'm couldn't be happier. You're. hilariously funny. >> and you're a joy to be around. I hear. you're a monster on set.". >> True. >> But I wasn't on set, so I don't care. >> Um, and I just wish you all good things. I really do. >> Well, thank you very much. I I. appreciate those words enormously, especially coming from you. >> Such a great man. >> Yes. >> Well, let's elaborate on that. >> So, I'm sorry. As as a great man or. >> maybe the greatest man possibly. the greatest sooner or sooner. >> Sorry. Sorry. The greatest man I've ever. met. >> Maybe the greatest comic of all time.

>> of Well, that goes without question. Why? It's written here. What? Sorry. What? [laughter] What? >> We rehearsed this. >> Yes. I'm sorry. What else am I supposed. to say again? [laughter]. >> It's all so embarrassing. Yes. >> Uh, go go go with the gods, old fans. Be. well. >> Thank you very much and a joy to be here. as always. So, thank you for the invite.

>> All right, we're back. Last week, we. were doing a state of the podcast and it. got sidetracked by Sona and the. Brazilian Buttlft, which is not a new. Indiana Jones movie, >> but it is a children's story. [laughter]. It's a children's book coming out soon. Sona and the Brazilian buttlft. Mommy, that's my favorite book. [laughter]. >> This is part two. So, Adam, we. interrupted you cuz you were listing our. incredible accolades. and I got embarrassed and we got off. track. >> Lots of awards. Uh, great guests and I.

was talking about how we've we've. started doing full [laughter] full. >> lots of awards, a. >> major awards. We started doing uh full. length video in May and numbers are. great and again the concern was is it. incremental audience or are we just. taking people away from the podcasting. now the interesting thing is on h the. history of the sort of the podcast. delivery has been RSS. >> so you know what that is con no I don't. >> when people have listened to podcasts in. the past when you use the podcast app.

you're getting an RSS fee delivering you. the podcast and you have to subscribe to. that right so subscribers to the podcast. will get the podcast every week and we. have built up a huge audience in. podcasting over the past seven years on. the podcast app. People have subscribed. Y. >> the interesting thing about YouTube is. we have a very large YouTube channel. over 9 million subscribers on YouTube. >> when we put. >> unrelated to the podcast. >> Completely unrelated. >> That's Conan content from before you. chimps. >> That's very true. That was built almost.

that was built on TBS content and and. [laughter]. lots of. >> one man's dream. We're keeping them. subscribed. >> But the interesting thing about YouTube. is with the when we put a podcast video. on that channel that has 9 million. subscribers, about half of the views to. our podcast video come from. nonsubscribers. Meaning that YouTube has uh. >> algorithmically suckered those. >> algorithmically is exactly the word. YouTube is serving our content to people. who didn't subscribe,

>> actively dislike me. >> I mean, I doubt it. I think YouTube. thinks that they will that they're going. to like this content and so it's sharing. the content more and more which is. actually awesome because it's growing. our the the old legacy podcast is a very. deliberate act. You know, you had to. subscribe then you get your podcast. This is like we're growing our audience. on YouTube because all these people who. didn't already subscribe are getting fed. the content and watching the content. >> So we're an invasive weed. [laughter]. >> Best description I've ever heard of this.

podcast. Is Conan gonna be like a. YouTube personality though? Should he be. like, "Hey, smash that like button and. subscribe.". >> Yes, we probably The crazy thing is, and. I we talked about this a little bit on. the last time, but like podcast because. podcasts are becoming so are distributed. so much on YouTube as a billion people a. month are watching podcasts on YouTube, which is a crazy number. The sort of. podcast world and the YouTuber world, Sona, that you're talking about, they're. kind of merging. podcast.

and there no one has sat me down. including you and talked to me about any. of this. >> I'm [laughter] not. this is what this is. >> I know. I know. I'm I'm. >> We can't sit you down unless there's a. microphone in front of you. So, you. know, >> or a camera. Turns [laughter] out um. that's incredible. >> You should become more of like a. YouTuber. like do some pranks and like. >> Yeah. >> unbox stuff.

>> I'm going to start unboxing stuff. >> Yeah. >> Um here, drink this urine. [laughter]. >> Go. Uh yeah, I we're going to start un I. don't even know enough about YouTube. stuff. >> I don't either. Well, I will say Conan, sorry to interrupt you, but the the. other the thing that you've joked about. a bunch now, which is becoming more and. more true, is that you're back to. hosting a late night show because not. only is YouTube the number one. destination for people to listen to.

podcasts, it's also the number one. streaming platform now and the number. one thing that people are watching on TV. in their living rooms. So you have. essentially just gone back and another. >> joke repeatedly, but it's so funny to me. that I deliberately left late night. after 28 years. I loved it. I enjoyed. every second. I said, "That's good. I'm. going to go now. Um I'm going to do my. little podcast. I'm going to do my. little travel show for HBO Max." Um I. hope they always call it HBO Max and.

don't start messing with the name. And. then um [laughter]. everything, you know, that was it. Uh. and I'll work on my body. >> at the request of everyone. And then. this. >> body. >> What? Well, people said, "You've got to. fix that body." That was the big thing I. heard. >> I just don't like the way you worded it. It's weird. >> Body. Anyway, now we're doing this. podcast and it keeps growing. And people. started to say things like, "We should. do some in front of an audience." And if. there's an audience, we should have.

Jimmy Aino there and some B and other. people in the band. Be really funny if. you came out first and warmed up the. crowd. Now you should do a monologue and. then call out the other guys and do the. podcast. Hey, it'd be really good if we. put this up on YouTube. And now people. are telling me, I love your show. And. I'm like, it's not a show. [laughter]. It's a little podcast. But it doesn't. matter to me. It's fun. It's organic. We're having a blast. I'm not asking. I'm telling you. Um, it's uh it's really. uh enjoyable. And all joking aside,

>> you're not going to like this, but we. have a secret sauce here with you guys. It's really It's a really nice. environment. I never know what's going. to happen. Uh I'd be miserable if I was. here alone. And uh you guys are really. funny and this is lovely. I'm having a. really good time. >> You're into that. Yeah. >> Yeah. That's [clears throat] very nice. of you to say. Thank you. It's all led. by you, boss. >> There you go. Yes, you handed it. You shouldn't have handed. it back to me. Walk into a trap. You.

were being sincere, so I was sincere. >> I was so sincere to get you to hand it. back to me. Yes, I lead the way and it. would never happen without me. Well, that's it for the state of the show. Adam, this has been a good pep talk. >> Thank you. >> And also, thank you to Adam, his. leadership, >> his leadership, his uh common sense. Of. course, Eduardo always there working the. knobs, guiding us. Thank you. >> Uh at the helm taking care of us. Bla1. shouting into the microphone things we. don't need to hear. Um uh just what a.

lovely. >> such a fun group of people. >> It's a fun group. It's a fun group. It's. a highlight of my day every day. >> It's Did you hear anything about the. advertisers? Mad that we talk still a. lot about like a lot of jizz and stuff. like they. >> they don't mind. Now we're getting Yeah. Now we're getting uh jizz only sort of. >> I was going to say your sponsorship is. Jiz Monthly. So it's. >> Yeah, it's appropriate. [laughter]. >> The magazine. >> the Jizinator. >> Yeah. >> If you shot some J and you don't know. where it is, use the Jinator. [laughter]. >> We won the Jizzy for best. >> We won the Jizzy.

>> Well, and you beat Jiz Taylor. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. And we've been. invited to New Orleans Jizfest. >> And trust me, you got to wear a raincoat. to that thing. [laughter]. Say to the podcast, stronger than ever.