Matt Groening (Full Episode) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

My name is Matt Graining and I feel. honored about being Conan O'Brien's. friend. And why? Because Conan, you are. the Bob Hope of the 21st century. >> Oh my god. So, I'm going to have a huge. deal with Texico. >> Exactly. >> I'm going to stick around in show. business for a really long time and. confuse a younger generation. >> Hey there. Welcome to Conor O'Brien. needs a friend. Sona Massian. Hello.

>> Hello. >> And uh Matt Gorley, how are you? >> Driving to work today, I saw so many. Whimos driving around. I saw I think in. in one minute I saw six different. self-driving Whimo cars zip by. >> uh crisscrossing going this way and. that. And um I started imagining that. they were ghosts commuting. >> Oh my god. And it made me really happy. It made me really happy cuz I just. thought, okay, there there is an.

afterlife and you're a ghost, but you. still have to get around Los Angeles. You have to do. Do you know what I. mean? And they have to sit in traffic. and um you know, they have to stop and. get gas and man, it's a lot. It's. costing a lot right now. Straights of. Hormuz are closed. Um and so that Yeah, they're just invisible. >> They don't fly. >> No, they don't fly. >> Okay. >> Yeah. What are their ghost jobs that. they're going to and from? Um, well, you. know, I saw one was probably a. podcaster. I saw another one who works.

at Lowe's. >> Oh, wow. >> Um, you know, in the in the gardening. department. Uh, so yeah, they just have. jobs like anyone else. >> And, um, it's funny cuz sometimes they. get into, you know, uh, there's a little. road rage and the ghost will flip. someone off, but nobody knows. Um, because there's And so. >> you were just thinking this on the way. thinking all of this while I was driving. around and it was making me happy cuz. then I'd see another one pass by and I. go like, "Oh, there's a ghost. He looks.

like he's late.". >> But they're still on their phones, so. there's just a phone floating. >> Yeah, there's a phone floating there. They're watching their phones. >> They're buying shoes on the internet. when they can't wear shoes. It's just. sad. >> I was on my way to work here one time on. one block. I saw a Whimo and then one of. those Cocoa delivery bots and then I. you not, an Orthodox Jewish person. on a hoverboard. You know those onehe. little things all on one block. But. wait, if you're Orthodox Jew, you can. ride a hoverboard. >> I think some things. >> I thought there was some Oh, maybe. that's after certain traditions.

>> Sabbath. >> Just on the Sabbath. You can't ride a. hoverboard, right? >> That says that in the Old Testament. >> It does. >> No. No hoverboard on the Sabbath. >> Yeah. >> Um that's incredible. >> Yeah. >> You know, those little robots, those um. >> Coco. Yeah, Coco. They I just. >> I I'm just going to admit that I'm I. whenever I see one of those I want to. hit it with a bat and I don't have any. hostility towards it, but it does look.

like you just want to give it a whack. cuz it's going it's just it's making. >> doing his job. >> Easy though. >> Yeah, he's delivering stuff. I have a. lot of. >> Yeah, a ghost just ordered some tacos. >> I love those little robots. I have a lot. of sympathy for you. >> It can't work. Does it work? >> I can't believe it's still going. I. mean, I I just think that, you know, uh. it's so hard to get people to follow the. social contract and not spray paint over. something or not park terribly or not.

smash something that's that's nice. that's sitting out. It's very hard to. get people just to follow that rule. But. once you have a little tiny little. little robot machine going, "Excuse me, excuse me." You know, it. >> I just I mean, I'm a law-abiding. citizen, but I want to smash that thing. >> You know, you're not alone. As the. former operator of a moving trash can, I. can tell you a lot of people's instinct. was to kick that thing, >> not just kids. >> And just back it up in case people. aren't aware of your origin story. >> You uh.

>> this is your origin story. This is your. being bit by a radioactive spider. You. were your job at Disneyland was to. control a robot trash can that would. walk around and say, you know, feed me. litter. And you were sort of in the. background with a remote control in your. pocket. >> Yeah. And a lot of little bully kids. would come up and just start wailing on. the course they would. And to the point. where I would say in the trash can voice. like, "Where are your parents? Why. aren't they doing anything? Somebody.

please help me." And he has a nerd. voice. Did you ever say, "Oh, the. humanity.". >> I did. I literally. >> Did you say that? I swear to God. Of. course you did. All the time. >> Am I not a man? >> If you cut me, do I not bleed? >> A pound of flesh. >> Oh my god. >> Um, >> that's incredible. >> Did I If I were If I had that gig, the. things I'd be doing would get me thrown. out and maybe Disneyland shut down cuz I. would say things like, "I'll murder.

you." I I wasn't far off. I was always. hitting on the other trash cans and, you. know, saying like, "Don't divorce me and. things like that to the other trash cans. like they had a prior relationship or. something or why won't you talk to me?". >> Did people Did they have to have. conversations with you if you crossed a. line? Was there like a manager, like a. trash manager? >> Yeah. No, no, he had he weren't Goofy. Goofy was. >> Oh, I got to talk to you. No, >> he's got his arms. Anaheim Department of. Sanitation would come in and give me. acting notes.

>> No, I they left us alone because it was. just a oneperson job. They often forgot. about us. So, I was just out there on my. own for the most part. It just occurred. to me, let's try and do something where. we have a little Coco bot call a Whimo. and then get in. Wouldn't that be great? Try. >> a cocoa bot calls a Whimo. Yeah, we call. or we call a Whimo for a Coco bot and. the and the Whimo pulls up and then the. Coco bot um goes and and we put a little.

ramp up and it gets in and. >> tell the Coco it has to deliver. something inside the Whimo. So that's. why it thinks it has to. >> goes in and then I mean I would just. love Yeah. Then it's a robot driving a. robot around. >> That's pretty cool. I mean my boys are. at the age where they're always just. going to know robot cars existed. Isn't. that nuts? >> I think about that all the time. Yeah, >> I would say that to Glenn. Just look, no. one's driving the car. And she's like, "Big deal, granddad. Big deal. You're. not my real father. Where's my father? Who's this guy?".

>> Yeah. You talking trash can. that. >> I love Glenn bullying you. I think. that'd be fun. >> She does. >> Were there other trash can guys? >> Were you guys the crew? >> Well, we never worked together because. it always said, you know, it was a solo. job, >> you know. >> Were you friends? >> Yeah. Did you watch and were like. judging? There one guy who was better at. it than you. And you're. >> looking at him, man. You're looking at. him. >> You're the best one. >> It's the only brag I can do. >> You were the best of it. >> I'm kidding. I wasn't. >> No, but is it a brag?

>> I don't understand. There were other. people that you knew that also operated. trash cans and you would watch them do. it. >> No, I we had to originally to learn. The. guy a guy came from Florida that built. this thing and showed us how to do it. But I think we all here on the West. Coast went a little loosey goosey with. it. You know what I mean? >> Yeah, sure. We really let loose. >> You're in Anaheim now, >> Yeah. >> And the thing would break down all the. time and just die. The battery would die. in the middle and it would be left. So.

you like the voice was losing battery. So it' be like, please, somebody me. >> So wait, then could you you'd blow your. cover if you walked over and started. >> you had to cuz by then the people were. like about to light it on fire, you. know? >> Oh my god. You know what? Everyone's. instinct is to trash a robot. It just. is. Yeah. >> Um why? >> Cuz I think their instinct is to trash. us, you know. >> It's kill or be killed. >> Oh, I don't know. >> Dog eat dog world. >> They just want to deliver food and drive.

you places. >> That's what they want you to think. Yeah. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> Well, I I heard the Whimo cars are being. controlled by people somewhere else. >> Wait, where did you hear those? They're. they're autonomous. No one's controlling. them. You think there's a guy in a. helicopter saying, "Take a right, take a. left. conspiracy like not the opposite. of a conspiracy. >> It's people are controlling them like. radio. >> Yeah. The food delivery robots, the. cocoa robots are controlled by people. and the Whimos also uh can have people.

take over when there's an issue. Yes. Yes. They can have people take over. No, but that's different than what you said. The food delivery robots are controlled. by people. >> But what are the people What do you mean. they're controlled by people? Where's. the person? Is this is matter? It's. >> in there. >> It's remote. It's It's just gonna That's. why like if you wave at it and say hi, the person will say like hello and it'll. wink and stuff at you because. >> if someone's sitting at a terminal Yes. and they're they're seeing a blinking. dot that says it's going down or or do. they have a camera in there? >> I They have a camera. It's like a remote.

control car. >> So now I can't trash one. >> No. No. >> Cuz there'll be footage of me on the. internet of me saying, "Hey, little. bitchbot.". >> It's time smack to it. >> It's time for you to taste Louisville. slugger. Kachchang. And then that's all over the internet. >> Yeah, those Whimo cars, too. I mean, how. what's stopping people from just like. taking off their pants in the back seat? >> What? Who would want to take off their. pants? >> Sounds like Sounds like you got a little. fantasy. >> What are you talking about?

>> Pants. >> Oh, my fantasy is to have my bare ass on. a commonly used car seat. I can't wait. >> And I think people that want to do that. prefer a driver in the car. >> I don't know. or like you know just like. do drugs or like do sex stuff. >> Maybe they do, >> right? Is that I mean like who's. stopping you? >> Um I think Well, I think they have like. a spray that activates. to go at it. Yeah. It's a calming. soothing gel.

>> I don't know. >> Makes the penis shrivel. >> Oh, >> that's true. I've heard that. >> A calming soothing gel that then makes. the penis shrivel. >> Yeah. Well, first it calms you and. soothes you. >> Okay. Then it makes your Don Johnson. take a little holiday. >> Um, >> turns your Don Johnson into an Ry. Johnson. >> Yeah, exactly. An Ry Johnson reference. God bless you. God bless you. Yeah, I think your rap. sign was an Ry Johnson reference for. you. >> That was your rap sign. >> Life isn't always comfortable except.

when you're sleeping on a Sleep Number. mattress. That's right. for 8 hours a. night or however long you sleep. Your. Sleep Number mattress adapts to your. preference for firm or soft, warm or. cool, side or back sleep. It's. incredible. >> It's nice. >> Used to think, "Oh, I just going to go. to bed." Well, let's be more imaginative. about what a bed could be. And that's. what they've done at Sleep Number. >> I run hot. So, this thing that it adapts. to your preference that I can keep me. cool if I wanted. That's amazing. >> Yeah, I think I run hot, too. So, a cool.

bed would be a good idea for me. I'm. like a burning coal, >> you know. So, I I I like that. But also, it's cool that you can dial up your. preference and uh your your spouse can. make different choices. Yeah. >> And that's how to make a marriage work. >> No matter how you sleep, Sleep Number. adapts to your comfort just the way you. like it. But Sleep Number mattresses. don't rest on their laurels. They're not. just sitting back going, "Hey, we're. Sleep Number mattresses. We got it all. covered. We don't even have to try. anymore.

>> We're Italian. And I don't know why. Their new collection gives you comfort. that responds to changes in your sleep. needs night after night and year after. year. Right now, all beds are on sale. during the Sleep Numbers Labor Day sale, their biggest sale of the year. Visit a. Sleep Number store near you or learn. more at sleepnumber.com. All right, let's do this thing. My guest. today is an Emmy award-winning writer. and animator who created one of the most. iconic animated series of all time. I'm. going to say the most iconic. I'm going.

to go out on a limb. Yeah, >> I don't have any skin in this game. Or. do I? That's right, The Simpsons. He. also created the Hulu series Futurama, which is currently airing its 14th. season. Having him on the podcast is uh. well, it's just been so long overdue. I. am ecstatic that this gentleman joins us. today. Matt Graing, welcome. >> It is so great you're here. >> Thank you. because uh the fans are going.

to freak out. Um you are a big part of. my life changing in this amazing way. My. origin story for people that don't know. is I was working on Saturday Night Live. I was in a funk. I loved that job and I. loved everyone there but I thought I. need to go. I'm just in a bad place in. my life. So I walked away from SNL with. no job. and two of your writers, I think. it was a Reese and Jean, heard that that. uh Conan O'Brien might be loose and. available. Uh, and so the next thing I.

knew, I was submitting, I don't know, some of the sketches I had written on. SNL, and then I was told, "You've got a. job on the Simpsons, and you need to be. here like in 4 days." And it really. saved my life. >> Wow. like the just such a fantastic. legendary writer room. I was so. intimidated when I showed up. I had. never written that form before. I had. only written sketch and suddenly they're. saying this has to happen in this act.

but then in that act I'm like what are. you talking about? Um but it it was is a. magical part of my life. So I thank you. >> God do I thank you. I don't know where. I'd be if I hadn't gone there. I want. you to know that your old office has. been preserved. It is used for storage. and it's right next to my office. And. yesterday I asked my assistant Violet, I. said, "Let me let me see Conan's old.

office so I can talk about it." And uh. she said, "No, no, no, no, no, don't. You can't. You can't." I said, "I'm you. cannot mention it." And I said, "Come. on, just let me see." She goes, "Please. don't talk about it. Please, I I beg. you." And I and I uh open the door and. it is floor to ceiling with Simpsons. merchandise. >> Oh wow. >> Yes. In fact, these this is the. merchandise that um that popped out. >> Oh my god, >> Mr. Sparkle. >> Oh my. Look at this. >> And I got you one.

>> These are amazing. >> One, too. This is. >> Oh my god. >> That's That's after your time. This is. 1997. >> But those are. >> I love Mr. Sparkle. Does it like lose. all its value if I open it? >> Yes. Don't. >> Okay. Um, you know what I love? On the. back, Homer's head with bubbles coming. out the back is saying, um, Mr. Spark. First of all, there's It says Mr. Sparkle, I guess, in is this Japanese? >> Japanese. >> And it says, "Mr. Sparkle is.

disrespectful to dirt.". >> I love these translations that never. make sense. And this is what Homer is. saying. Join me or die. Can you do any. less? >> This is a children's toy for lunch. What. it is, Homer found a Japanese detergent. box in the in the in the Springfield. dump and he didn't understand why his. name. >> was uh or his face was on the on the. cover of the box. >> I just love it. >> It's one of the great episodes. >> Uh for lucky best wash, use Mr. Sparkle.

I'm disrespectful to dirt. Can you see. that I am serious? Um, this is. fantastic. Thank you so much. >> I didn't mean to tell you not to open. it, but if you want, >> we should see one. I'm going to open. mine. I'll open mine. >> You want to keep ours pristine? >> Yeah, you guys keep yours pristine. But. I want you to sign this. >> What? I Oh, sure. >> I know what you're going to do. It'll be. on eBay tomorrow. Um, okay. People. always ask me, working at the Simpsons, what's it like? Uh, Matt Graining, what. can you tell us? And I have a very clear.

memory of one of your your fun things. that you did. >> was in your travels you would seek out. illegal like bootleg Simpsons. merchandise. Not to like let's nab them. and sue them but just because it amused. you. And I remember I think you were in. Mexico. You I remember sitting around we. were working on a script. You came in it. had there's a screen door to the writer. room at the Simpsons. It had this you. know you think it's like the biggest. show in the world. It had this rusty.

screen door kind of was creaky. So you. heard and like Pavlovian and we would. all look up maybe food's here, you know, maybe lunch is here because that's what. you would hear when they would bring in. that fried food that we lived off of. You and you walked in and you were. carrying something you purchased in. Mexico on the street and it was a very. crude attempt to make Bart's head out of. wood. Bart looked like he had swelling of the. brain like fluid buildup and it had been.

clearly the person had taken didn't have. real stains so had polished it with shoe. polish and it's one of the most. upsetting things I've seen in my life. and you were cackling and you I guess. you collected. >> I collected those yes and uh yeah now. there's too many of them. >> What is Can you think of one of the more. horrible ones? Bart Bart Sanchez was uh. was the name on the on the bust of of. Bart. >> Yeah. >> And he had a had a sombrero and Yeah.

It's like Yeah. They're all over the. place. Uh there was a Russian coloring. book where it obviously whoever had done. the coloring book had seen The Simpsons. for 5 seconds and then said, "Do a whole. coloring book." And and that was. >> I will kill you. >> By the way, speaking of the creaking. door and the food, you did a bit one. time. Oh my god, I'm so proud of this. So every single day a prod production. assistant would come up the stairs, clmp. clmp clump outdoor stairs making a lot. of noise and then bang open the screen.

door with a a stack of boxes. >> the food and the food would come around. one and I. noticed one day we're all sitting. around. It's George Meyer and Reese and. Jean and Jeff Martin and you know uh. just um Kogan's I mean just everybody's. there and um John Vidy and I noticed. people were starting to say like oh man. where's the food it's 1:30 and then hey. it's 1:45 where's the really unhealthy. hamburgers that we order from um island.

oh islands islands islands where is it. and we always got the same thing every. day but we were like dogs that knew we. got fed at on and it wasn't coming. So, I quietly excused myself to use the. bathroom and I went downstairs and I. found a big cardboard box and I waited a. while and then I clumped up the stairs, opened the screen door and backed in. backwards so you just see a jeaned ass.

and a t-shirt so that it it's and I. start struggling with a big box like. it's filled with food and everyone went, "Yay!". And then I I turned around with an empty. box and I went nothing. and people were I raped, >> but it made me happy cuz it made others. sad. >> We were like Pavlov's dogs. You hear. that noise and you start to salivate. >> You knew that the food is coming here. >> Do you remember you wrote uh Homer goes.

to college. >> and I recall you pitching this one line. that you were so attached to? >> Yeah. A bee bit my bottom and now my. bottom's big. >> Yes. >> Homer, by the way, Homer Homer is saying. that. >> Homer's the only one. Are you talking. about the Greek poet? >> Yeah. Yes. This is. >> But not only did you pitch it in Homer's. voice, >> you were so delighted by it. You pitched. it repeatedly. Then you got up and acted. it out. You bent over and stuck out your.

butt. Homer gets it's. Homer has to everyone's and everyone. there is trying to think of you got the. smartest comedy writers you'll ever see. these really brilliant people and. they're all trying to think of a really. clever smart line for Homer or something. just like perfect like a gem and that in. that moment I don't know why but I just. it because Homer gets bit by a bee which. is I think one of the reasons why.

>> stunk stunk Stung. St. Yeah. Sorry. >> In your line it was bit. >> Right. I didn't even think about that. >> That's right. He got stung by a B, but. Homer would say bit. And so, and I like. the alliteration. >> Yeah. >> BBB. And so, I just I don't know. These. things come to me. I just said. >> to the whole room, a bee bit my bottom. Now my bottom's big. And people were. laughing, but also like, we can't do. that. It's too stupid. But then it ended. up in the script and um I was you know.

it's one of those things that follows me. around every now and then. >> and his big ass is big to begin with but. the way the animators animated one cheek. is very big. It really was swollen. >> Yeah. And I was you know so did I. contribute? Sure I did. Um, you know what I loved? One of the. things, and you can talk to this, which. is, >> um, it's a phenomenon that the Simpsons.

did so beautifully, which is, and we did. this with Homer a lot, but Homer is not. the smartest guy in the world, but if. it's funny for him to have a certain. knowledge of something or turn a phrase, suddenly he has it. >> Yes. And one of my favorites of that is. he's sitting around the table and Lisa's. despondent. Something didn't go well for. her and she doesn't think she's going to. get to go to a good school now. And she. s she's sitting on the table and she. said, "Oh no, now I'll never get to go. to an Ivy League school. I'll have to go.

to Vasser," which is just this like And. by the way, my wife went to Vasser. It's. a very good school. But it was just this. thing where in Lisa's little world, oh. my god, I've been I've been ruined. I'll. have to go to Vasser. And Homer like. slams the table and says, "There'll be. no Vasser bashing in this house.". Homer would never know what Vassor is. If he did know, he wouldn't care. He's. got no stake in this. But suddenly, this. is where he draws the line. And I loved.

that. um you know that in a given moment, Homer or any character can know. something they wouldn't normally know. There's Barney at one I think Mr. Plow, which is a John Vy episode. Um, Barney's. at the bar and he and Homer are. competing to have the better plow. business and Homer thinks he's ahead. when suddenly a commercial comes on in. Mo and it's Barney promoting his plow. business with Lind. It's Linder Ronstat.

And so it's Barney and Linda Ronstat and. it was like, "Hey Barney, hi Linda." And. then they go ahead and do this. commercial and it ends with them singing. a song and Homer says, "Barney, how did. you get Linda Ronstat?" And he says, "We've been looking for a project. together for a long time." And what I. loved is that doesn't explain. anything. How do you What do you mean? Like I just love that, well, Linda and I. have been looking for something for a. long time and this this it finally came.

together. That's something Sammy Davis. Jr. would say about Frank Sinatra. >> Yeah. But characters that speak not of. themselves, but for a moment of. beautiful clarity. Have you ever had a. cat, Sona? >> Never. >> I have had multiple cats. >> Yeah, >> I had a cat growing up. It was my cat. My wife and I now have three cats. >> That's a lot. >> Yeah, we have three cats and two dogs. And I have to say, the dogs are so. appreciative. >> Cats hard to win over. >> Yeah, >> cats are cats. They're tricky. >> Yes. >> Sometimes I feel like I'm working for.

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minutes with Apple Pay. Subject to. credit approval. Apple Card is issued by. Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City. branch. Trims and more at applecard.com. >> Yes. I love that. I love that's the. surprise. I mean, we went through a. phase when you were there and you helped. a lot making Homer dumber and dumber and. dumber, >> right? We're trying to top ourselves. We. finally drew the line and he could not. ever forget his own name. Okay, there's. there's one. there there's one where Homer is saying.

to himself uh I I I can't remember the. exact scenario and Simpsons fans will be. furious, but Homer gets pulled over. something and the the driver the guy. says, "Were you speeding?" or or you. know um asks him a policeman is asking. him for an explanation and Homer is. saying something akin to say something. good say something good say something. good and then Homer says I'm watching. pornography. and you you cut to his brain I guess.

saying something good say something good. says the exact wrong thing and you cut. back to his head and his brain says. that's it I'm out. Then you hear. footsteps and a door slam and this opens. up. Wait a minute. His consciousness. got sick of him, but he is his. consciousness. So there was all kinds of. like that. And I always credit you. You You'd be in the room saying, "Guys,

come on. You can't go too far." We were. like kids that just wanted to eat. chocolate all day. I was the the school. momm shaking my finger going no no no. that's too much. And of course that only. encouraged you guys to do more. But when. you. >> that thing about I'm out. You did that. to yourself when you pitched a joke that. didn't that you felt didn't land. I. remember once you pitched something and. and and you. >> getting into a tiny invisible rocket. ship and shutting the door and taking.

off into space. >> Oh my god. I do for there was a long time where I. thought my only job here is to entertain. the other writers. Like I do believe. that I was the guy who cuz sometimes I. remember they once I did a thing. sometimes where I put a bunch of. Coca-Cola in my mouth and then start. vibrating violently and what it does is. it foams and comes out of your mouth AND. I'D BE GOING. AND THEY would have me get up and do it. in front of everybody. >> like a convention sex worker. >> Yes.

>> Yes. >> That they bring in. >> Yeah. I was they'd be like, "Hey, do. those soda soda soda." All right, guys. If you want, >> how is this moving the piece forward? >> Well, you know, the the writer room, the. the table was very long and you were on. one corner of the table and literally. you would be doing a little puppet show. for the writers around you that the. other people at the other end of the. table didn't couldn't hear. And they. were all leaning over saying, "Come on,

do it for us, too. do it for us too. You. had a great saying there which was. things can be improbable but not. physically impossible. And I thought. that was a great rule which we im we of. course tried to chip away at that. But. your point I I I think it was really. very wise was this is not. this is not a roadrunner coyote. situation where the uh coyote can. explode and fly into 75 pieces and then.

they land on the highway and the next. scene he's been reassembled. Right? So, if Homer falls into a gorge and falls. all the way down, he doesn't just. reappear magically a second later and. say, "Okay, I'm going to try this now.". He has to be bruised, bloody, and he. went down a, you know. >> Yes. >> Yes. Maybe in real life, he'd have died. >> Yeah. You weren't supposed to show blood. in cartoons, it turns out. >> Yeah. And we made Homer very bloody many. times. >> Yes.

>> Yeah. And he fell down the gorge. And uh. that was one of the that was very early. on. He tried to skateboard across. Springfield, >> right? And uh and he defied physics for. a moment and then and then and then fell. >> and then fell. >> And then he and then the next shot was. him being. >> being raised on a gurnie, you know, his. head all bandaged. He's being raised on. a gurnie to the ambulance and his head. is banging into the side of the cliff. all the way all the way up. And then. they put him in the ambulance. The. ambulance goes 10 ft, hits a tree and he.

slides out and goes over the cliff. >> all the way down again. all the way down. again. >> And that's when I knew we had a show. That was the That was Yeah. >> Also, I loved that if something uh if a. four-w wheeled vehicle of any kind. crashes, it has to explode into flames. like a car from a 1970s, you know, detective series where um it just has to. go into a fireball. So, there's all. riddled through the Simpsons are an. Amish guy driving a cart. Uh Homer.

doesn't see him and drives by too fast. the guy he goes whoa the cart and the. horse go over the cliff huge fireball. and so there were these things where. it's like okay that wouldn't really. happen but we can allow that. >> it. not impossible. >> it's not impossible that that was soaked. with kerosene that the horse had maybe. eaten a bomb. >> but what I remembered when I did the. Montreal episode um there was a bit in.

it where we were initially trying to get. George Teay. That was my first idea is. that George Decay will play this part. and then George Teay said no because he. said I'm on the transportation board in. San Francisco and I cannot and it was. all about a Montreal and being a bad. idea and he said I can't in good. conscience and I was crushed cuz I. thought oh he's the guy I want to be in. this and then I think Al Gene came to me. and said um we just heard that Leonard. Nemo do it and I was like wait what.

that's better he outranks Sulu this is. Hey, and so the the joke at the end of the. episode, which I got to go and record. the voice, a bunch of us went and meet. Leonard Nemoy and it was it was just a. dream come true. But he. >> at the end of the episode, uh, when. everything's sort of been resolved and. the Montreal, people didn't die. And. it's the end of the of the episode, uh, Leonard Nemo says, "Well, I guess my. work here is done." And Barney says, "You didn't do anything." And Leonard. Nemoy says, "Didn't I?" And then beams.

out. Now, I remember this being a big. discussion because I remember uh I think. Al said, "Well, no, the rule is nothing. impossible can happen and this is no one. can beam out." And I was like, "Yeah, but it's Spock. Spock can beam out.". >> And we got into it and you said, "No, it's okay." But I remember thinking, "Oh, we I hope we get this. I hope we. get this." You you can you you know for. the sake if the joke is good enough,

there was an episode in which Homer is. somehow uh on a a Christian relief plane. flying to a a distant island. >> Yeah. >> And he's trying to get off and he says, "Um, but I I don't even believe in. Jibus.". >> And then they take off and he says, "Save me, Jibus.". >> Yeah. >> He does that, too. And I think there's a. segment where it's sort of about how out. of shape he is, but he's driving through. the night and he sees a big sign, lit up.

sign, and it says Jim GM. And Homer looks up at it and he goes, "G.". And then he he's wondering, and he goes, "G." And then he parks the car and it's. nighttime and he goes up, I think, and. he looks inside and sees all the people. working out and the exercise equipment. He goes, "G. You're Wait a minute. So you're so. unhealthy that you don't even know it's. called Jim,

which you've at least heard of billion. times, >> by the way. So you were you were one of. the new guys on and. >> I was like the first I think there was. the original crew. Everybody wanted to. work on that show and you know I'm just. this poster boy for crazy good luck. At. the moment I became available, George. Meyer had just decided to take some time. off and there there was an opening. >> George Meyer, one of the legendary. Simpsons writers, >> just spectacular uh hall of famer. And.

um. >> you know, our our assignment at the. Simpsons was someone would go off and. write a script. We would all pitch jokes. for it and they would structure it and. there'd be an outline and then that. writer would go off and work on it alone. for. >> fascinating. >> for a couple of weeks and then come. back. Yeah. Oh, it'll get better. And. hand in the script and then we would all. go through it page by page and make it. better. >> and then George Meyer would turn his in. for like Mr. Lisa goes to Washington and. we'd all look at it and go, "Uh, I see.

nothing we would change here." Yeah, >> VD was I mean just these incredible. absolutely incredible writers. >> Well, do you know one of the you were. around for John Schwarzel, right? >> Oh, god. Yeah. >> So, John Schwitzer another one of the. great writers and he would turn in. scripts that were so insane. Yes. >> And we just cut cut out the the craziest. things and they would be absolutely. brilliant. All we had to do was cut a. couple of jokes here and there. >> They were so good. >> First of all, let me paint the picture. for you. John Schwarz welder. um you.

know the rest of us look like what a. comedy writer in their 20s looks like. >> and um a caricature or early 30s. We all. had that same kind of look and then. suddenly there's this guy in the corner. who is much older than us and he's got. this incredible mustache and he looks. like the handsomest. policeman you'd see in 1890. Like.

imagine like a real man and he's smoking. cigarettes and he's not saying much, but. when he does say something, it's. brilliant. And I remember this clear as. day. I'm at the Simpsons. I've been. there for two or so seasons. And. um I get this insane opportunity. to audition for Letterman Slot thinking. this will never happen. And I'm asking. Reese and Jean like they want me to go.

to the Burbank lot and audition and um I. don't know and should I even be doing. this? I mean I I have no experience. I. can't I can't even So even if I got it, I don't think I could do this. It's an. insane idea. I'll never and I was sort. of the room started asking me questions. about it and I'll never forget I said I. know they want me to audition to replace. Letterman who's you know genius and. invented this new form and I can't and. then I remember uh Schwarzolder took a.

long drag of his cigarette and he never. spoke he didn't say much and he exhaled. and he went. I'd watch your show and it was the first. time someone like endorsed first the the. concept cuz most people I would say that. to like you're a funny guy but what the. are you talking about and Schwarzer. was like and he said it with this. conviction of like maybe no one else. will but I'd watch it and I was like. thank you John. >> he's never watched one.

>> I don't know about I just want to say. about Schwarz I I like him but when. Clinton was in office he bet everybody. on the staff that. >> yes oh he's completely wrong. >> Clinton would be hanged while in office. he said yeah he was Oh, I remember when. >> he also drove the world's biggest. Cadillac, whatever the 1956 Caddy, and. he would be the last one in the parking. lot while we all were driving away, he'd. be going, "Oh, and we'd leave and he'd. still be trying to. >> if it rained, it wouldn't rain.". >> And then he wouldn't he wouldn't be. there the next day. So, we we he.

obviously made it. >> And I always heard these stories that he. like saved every dime he made. Uh I. think he at the time anyway, he lived in. like a very modest house. Uh, and I. think he lived with his he and his. brother like shared a house. And I. remembered asking him once, "So, what do. you like the rest of us are going to go. for the weekend?" And, "Oh, I've got a. date or I'm going to go here. My wife. and I are going to go there." And I. asked John, he said, "Well, do what I. always do. I'm going to go home and my. brother and I are going to play catch. with a softball in front of our house.

for, you know, like a couple hours and. then we're going to hit a diner." And I. was like, "Wow, wow.". >> Old Cadillac cuz he's just from the 50s. you know, he was he was from out of. time. I mean, if anyone has ever been. from another time, it was John. Schwarzelder and. >> brilliantly funny writer, but very wrong. sometimes about things. When Clinton was. first running for president, people. would be like, "Oh, he's doing really. well in the polls and oh, he's" and he. would tell us with, "No, Bush will.

defeat him." Bush will defeat him. >> This is the guy that would say he'd. watch your show. >> YEAH, EXACTLY. WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING. >> SO, we go back so far. This was in the. era when you could actually smoke in. diners and Yeah. >> Schwarz welder. What was what's the big. diner on Ventura Boulevard that's no. longer there? Real famous one. >> Is it Dupars? Is it. >> not Dupar? It's the other. Anyway, >> Norms. >> Norms. Yeah, >> I I don't remember. Anyway, Schwarzer.

had a booth that he would sit in and. smoke and write Simpson scripts and then. they made smoking illegal and so he had. a identical booth built in his house. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Totally believe that. >> Oh my god. >> Mel's driving. >> Oh, Mel's. >> He was that guy who like definitely. going to march to his own. >> and now he's a novelist. >> Oh, his novel published his craziest. novels. the um he writes these sort of.

hard-boiled detective mysteries, but. they're insane. I think the the title of. one which I loved was The Robot Did It. >> And I've read these and they were just, you know, uh spectacular. But I feel it. it's incumbent on me to I mean there. there's so many questions I have. Um, you have you have one of the best, for. lack of a better term, rags to riches. stories.

that I can think of in all of show. business because, >> and I saved my rags. So, >> and those rags are now worth a fortune. I I see your rags on eBay all the time. Um, yeah, you moved to LA in 1977 to. become a writer. you while you're. waiting to accomplish that or even while. you're doing it, you're washing dishes. at a nursing home, clerking at the. Hollywood Licorice Pizza Record Store, landscaping in a sewage treatment plant, and chauffeurring and ghostwriting for a. retired director of western films.

>> That's right. >> Just incredible, >> you know. >> Well, so that the last job was I wanted. to be a writer. So I looked, of course, looked in the LA Times wanted ads for. help wanted and it said wanted writer. chauffeur. And so I applied for the job. and I was the writer chauffeur for this. old uh movie director who you've never. heard of. >> And uh and my job was to drive him. around during the day. >> and we'd look at the sides, go through. Beverly Hills and whatever. And he'd. say, "That's Tom Mix's house.".

>> And then we'd drive by the same house. the next day and he go, "That's where. Laurel and Hardy lived." And I said, "I. don't think they live together." Shut. up. And then I would listen to his stories. and at night I would work on his. autobiography which was this high. because there had been a number of. previous writer chauffeur. >> And in fact there was one guy while I. was out driving around there was a guy. sitting at his house at on the dining.

room table you know typing it up. And um. and I just remember reading these and. the guy was obsessed with his mother. He. goes, "Today was the day I met Cecil. be." Immediately I ran home to tell. mother. "Mother," I said, "I met Cecil. Be." It was odd. >> This sounds like Sunset Boulevard, but. it is very much. It is very much. Yeah. >> Wow. >> At the age of 88, mother lost control of. her bowels. That was the lead sentence. of one of the chapters. >> Oh, I thought that was a whole chapter.

But getting back to Schwarzer, one of my. favorite lines in in one of the. detective novels is um they attach the. detective up to a lie detector and they. say, "Does it hurt?" And he goes, "Yes, a little." And they say, "You're lying. >> They're unhinged. They're unhinged in. the very best way." Wow. >> Um, and you know, I think one of them. starts with like the detective just. getting the classic thing getting beat. up, but then it turns out that he like. shows up for his beatings cuz that's his. job as a detective, you know, in an.

alley. I mean, it's just it's. >> the first line was my story begins with. me getting punched in the face. >> Yes. Um, you know what's interesting to. me is everyone knows of course you do. you know your your first goal was to be. a journalist, >> right? And what's fascinating to me is. part of one of your gigs was if someone. was getting a star on the Hollywood Walk. of Fame, if I have this correctly, your. job was to. >> okay, um, you know, Don Knots is getting.

his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, you do some research about that, but. then you would go out and try and find. out exactly where the star was going to. be and what business it would be in. front of to let people know, >> right? >> Which no one did, right? you'd say like, "Oh, it's going to be in front of this. tobacco shop. >> on Vine." And. >> I tried to get the most degrading store. that was closest to the to the. >> and there's plenty of them. >> Yeah. Fredericks of Hollywood and, you. know, all sorts of tattoo.

>> Dildo Emporium, right? >> And you would say, "Yeah, whatever.". Yeah. This uh you know, Miss Mayfield. will be getting her stir in front of the. Dildo Emporium. And and you kind of got. in trouble for that. >> Yeah. that well they called me up and. asked me please don't say what stores. the the the stars are in front of. >> Yeah. >> And of course I never stopped. >> No you so what's interesting is again. these moments fascinate me. You time. travel to you get a star on the. Hollywood Walk of Fame and there's the. whole ceremony and everything and.

>> you could never have imagined back when. you were writing those stories. Well. someday I'll have my star. It's it's. it's ludicrous. Well, what's really fun. is to take visitors from out of town and. walk down Hollywood Boulevard into, "Oh, look." You know, as if. >> who knew. you were up all night polishing it, scraping urine off of it. Um, >> there's a lot of Hollywood stars now. There's a lot of them. Like, they sort. of doubled it up. It's not just, you. know. >> Oh, no. There's And.

>> you have one? >> I do not. No. And nor will I nor will I. ever have one. >> I'll see to that. >> I'm going to work on that. Oh, >> please do not do that. >> Promise me he'll never do that. Um, so. many great memories for me, but you. couldn't have been. you couldn't have been prepared for the. success of The Simpsons because. you make a show, you hope it just stays. on the air at the time. prime time. animation.

Uh that's, you know, the brainchild of a. underground, you know, subversive uh. comic artist. This isn't going to work. Maybe it will work a little bit, but. then it becomes a phenomenon. >> Yes. >> And how quickly did you realize that. you've hit one of the biggest gushers of. all time? The first indication was the. the the little car the cartoons started. on the Tracy Elman show and they were.

they told me at the beginning they they. brought me in and they said um. >> we want you to do a two-minute cartoon. for the Tracy man show every week and I. oh you you can't you can't do anything. in two minutes that's that's not enough. time and then they called me back and. said no I'm sorry we it's one minute and. then they said it's four 15-second. cartoons so the whole thing began with. 15sec cartoons. And so my my feeling was. well. >> sight gag. That's all we you know really. quick quick quick side gags. And what.

made me think that we really had. something going is they put some of. those cartoons on the uh in the. beginning of Fox movies. Yeah. >> And they got applause when the titles. came up and I go, "Oh, so people are. watching already." So that that was the. first indication. And then when the show. came on, we did 13 episodes without a. pilot. And um Fox first they wanted to. do one show and we Jim Brooks uh uh. refused and said no, we want to do 13.

And they did it. And the whole thing the. whole run was built on those first 13. episodes, which we had never seen the. results of the animation before they. were all written because it takes six. months to do to do all the uh animation. And so we lucked out. That's all. It was. it was an incredible uh lucky situation. And then there was the Fox network, brand new, which didn't even hit the. entire country. It was regional, right? >> And and so but even with the the fact.

that it wasn't in every market in the. US, it was still extremely popular. So. yeah, it was amazing. >> I mean, was it the first episode of The. Simpsons or the second or third? At what. point does it become clear that I mean, I don't remember how quickly, but I. remember it was very fast. I was writing. at Saturday Night Live when The Simpsons. debuted and we were all aware instantly. that this was. >> Yeah. I think probably second or third. episode. >> Yeah. >> We just knew this is the this is the. best thing ever. And uh.

>> um I think every comedy writer was just, "Oh my god, I wish I was over there. That's the place to be." And that's as. much as I loved SNL. It was it's just a. phenomenon. And it's, you know, when I. leave, I remember thinking part of my. experience has been I leave a show and. think this probably goes runs for a. little while longer, you know, uh, and. then it will find its natural end point. I thought that about SNL when it was. like when I was there and it was, you. know, 14 years old. We had a 15th.

anniversary special and I thought, well, you know, this this pony is going to be. put down soon. Uh, and I think they just. had the now it's 51 or 52 years. And The. Simpsons is just is it how many. >> I think 38 seasons. >> Oh my god. >> We've done more than 800 episodes. That's a lot of pencil mileage. >> How do you in animation terms? >> How do you guys guard against repeat. jokes or even themes? Is there someone. cataloging like an archivist who can.

come in and. >> Well, if I were Conan, I would mime an. invisible gun. Yeah, >> we we do repeat. We do repeat. We our. our our motto now is try not to repeat. recently. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know, we try, you know, Al Gene is. sort of the living brain. >> He's a living encyclopedia. >> I I can watch episodes um from last year. and I don't remember a single moment. from them because they just one goes in. and one goes out. >> Very Homer Simpson style.

>> Yeah. Yeah. >> And um and uh you know, people like Al. Gene and and the internet help us say, "Did we already do that joke?" Yeah. >> And Yeah. I mean, now it's going to be. easier and easier to track it down. >> Yeah. >> Because of a little amazing thing called. AI. >> Huh. >> Hey, AI. Just a quick plug for it. >> No, no, >> no. Okay. >> Stop. >> There's an AI son I can use. Um uh. >> and now and now we are uh because of of. the internet we are being um. congratulated for predicting the future.

>> Just that was the next thing I was. bringing up which is I've had people ask. me hey Conan how is it that you guys. meaning any Simpsons person. How is it. you guys were able to predict the. future? And I'll say are you you're not. being serious. They're totally serious. They think. >> that the wizards work at the Simpsons as. opposed to. >> it's a volume business. You throw out a. lot of things. Maybe you make a joke.

about yes in the president in the future. will be real estate Donald Trump. and it's just a quick laugh in the room. and then later on it's a chilling omen. of what we'll but there have been so. many of them now. Well, Dan Greeny, the. writer of of that line about Trump being. president was done in like 2002 or. something. And then um at Lisa was. president, so we don't get everything. right. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> And um and he's he's taken that to heart.

and now he he dresses up like a prophet. and and. >> Dan does. >> Dan does. And he's running for. president. So I mean. >> I did hear Dan Granny was running for. president. Yeah. >> Well, I'll vote for him. >> Yes, of course. >> Sure. I want to see the outfit first. predicting he wins. By the way, >> these days I would think anyone would. have a chance. That's the world we're in. right now. Um, let's talk about Futurama. because I've always. believed that there are two really fun.

things to write. One is someone who has. unlimited wealth, which is why writing. for Mr. Burns was my favorite thing. And. I think all of us loved it. And you. know, >> you like doing the voice. >> I love doing the voice. Yeah. I mean, I. used to pitch. >> And you also tented your fingers. >> I've tent my fingers and Yes. Yes. Uh. Simpson. E. Um and I loved I used to. pitch in the voices and I thought that's. what people did. And people were like, "What are you doing?" When I first.

showed up and I would do the different. voice, I don't know, homie. Maybe. And. be like, "What are you doing? What are. you doing?" And I thought I thought we'd. pitch in the voices. And like no, you. don't pitch in the voices. No one does. that. Um, but I loved writing for Mr. Burns because it's a kind of silly. writing you can do where he can if you. have if a character has unlimited wealth. and is evil, they can have anything. that you that can be built by man can. exist in that person's dungeon basement.

They can have hyperbaric chambers. They. can have escape pods. They can, you. know, all kinds of uh all kinds of. sinister things can happen. The other. fun one I always thought would be. writing about the future because. one of the miracles of the Jetsons I. think that made it so much fun to watch. was the world's your oyster. You know. you can just writers are completely free. to imagine anything and to me that's why. Futurramama always made so much sense. Was that part of the initial appeal? Well, part of it was, you know, looking.

at at the Jetsons, >> which has the greatest theme of all. time, right? Um, he said it's all in. these these these uh these houses, apartments and stuff that are. >> on stilts and you never see the earth. >> Yeah. >> And I thought, well, let's do the. future. Like, what what's going on down. there? It's got to be pretty bad. So, yeah, >> I love that. And but I mean also just um. it did feel like it allows you to use a. whole other area that that you know the.

Simpsons can dabble in every now and. then if someone's imagining the future, but Futurama just felt like. >> it it was it was really fun. And it. turns out that science fiction and. comedy don't necessarily work together. I mean, you can make it funny, but if. you're if just this is just just a a a. piece of advice. If you're doing a. science fiction comedy, don't have the. rocket ship be shaped like a salt. shaker, for instance. It's funny the. first time, maybe, >> right? >> It's irritating the second time and it's.

infuriating the third time. So, anything. that. >> that you see over and over again, make. sure you can live with it, >> right? And uh I would think well first. of all you did the uh when the series. begins. um who are you creating it with was. >> uh David X Cohen. >> Yeah that's right. I know David Cohen. Yeah. >> Yes. He called David X Cohen because. there are other David Cohens in the. writers guild. >> Is that why he put the X in there? I. always just knew him as David Cohen but. then he put an. >> David S. Cohen but there was another.

David S. Cohen too. So and X is pretty. kind of futuristic. >> Changed to Conan X O'Brien. I'm sure. there are other Con O'Brien out there. trying to. >> Your wife would like to change into an. ex. >> O'Brien. Nice. Yay. Congrats. >> Uh, you're fired. >> You're fired. Um, >> by the way, I, you know, Homer Simpson. seems like a pretty random name, but it. turns out it's not the most random name. And we did get a letter once saying, "Thank you for ruining my life. >> I can't order pizza. I can't do this. I.

can't do that." Signed, "Fuck you.". Signed, "Mrs. Homer S.". >> Oh my gosh. Oh my god. Oh wow. >> There's a documentary about all the real. people named James Bond and what they. have to live with as they walk through. the days. Terrible. >> Well, the other thing is that I, you. know, I named the characters after my. family. So, my father's name is Homer, my mother's name is Marge, I have a. sister, Lisa, and I have a sister. Maggie, and I kind of wrecked their. lives, you know. Now, >> Margie's hair, I know it's it's kind of.

modeled on Bride of Frankenstein, but. also did your mom. >> My mother had a very tall beehive when I. was a kid, and from the angle that I was. looking at her, it really seemed big. And she always denied it, but I do have. photos. So, and my do my dad loved The. Simpsons except. uh when Homer was mean to Marge. He did. not like he got he called me up. >> Interesting. He called he called me up. after there was an episode in which uh. the Simpsons car breaks down in the.

desert and uh and Marge while while the. the family is sitting under the shade of. a big boulder uh Marge has to carry a. tire back to town. Yeah. >> And my dad was so mad that Homer made. Marge carry the tire. >> Yeah. >> Says and I said he strangles his kid and. my dad said I don't care about that. Did they make you stop the strangling at. a certain Cuz I know early on there was, you know, Homer would really throttle. Bart, grab him around the neck AND GO,

you know, and um I think that went away. at a certain point. >> No, no, >> it went it went away in that we just got. tired of repeating the same joke, but. then but then. >> it wasn't out of somebody. >> No, you know what? We wouldn't we. wouldn't do spanking cuz that's too. real. So the strangling was very. >> It never bothered me. And by the way, it's always impulsive. >> Yeah, >> it's always why you little. And then in. general, Bart tries, you know, reaches. for a frying pan and hits him and gets. Homer gets his comeuppance. >> There was one episode in which Homer.

went you little and he comes over very. slowly and strangles him. It was so. freakish that we that we cut it. It's. only if it's impulsive. So impulsive. anger. Impulsive. >> Impulsive is funny. We did we did an. episode in which um in which Homer and. Smithers got into a fist fight and they. were hitting each other. Smithers had an. oldfashioned rotary phone. He was he was. hitting him in the face and they're back. and forth and really harsh.

>> harsh animation and I remember coming to. the the sound mix. >> and it's just and just horrifying and it. was not funny at all and we could not. figure out how to. >> you know we're stuck with the animation. the show, this was on a Thursday, the. show was being airing on on Sunday. And. uh we tried, okay, let's make the sound. effects funny, you know, boing. No, it. made it not funny at all. And so. finally, as an experiment, we took out. all the sounds of exertion.

and just let in let sounds of pain, you know, all that kind of stuff. And. that made it funny. So that is that is. my comedy tip there. Pain pain is funny. I in one of my scripts I wrote uh that. Mr. Burns wants to kill someone with a. baseball bat. It's sort of that thing. that's uh it's it's that old trope where. Al Capone is walking around the table. with a baseball bat and we got teamwork. We need teamwork and then he lets loose.

on uh on one of the guys who's a. traitor. But my thing was that he's so. weak that he's going. and the bat is just barely touching the. guy and the guy just says, "Uh, what are. you doing?" And and Mr. Burn says, "I'm. thrashing you to within an inch of your. life." But he's incredibly exhausted. So. my way out is that he's incredibly. violent and homicidal in that moment,

but he can't he can't do anything. Um, and the other thing I remember is going. back to the Fox lot a couple of times. I've gone and I'll, you know, walk up to. the old writer's room, which is it looks. like an old 1940s hotel motel. It's, you. know, that it's it's a two stories and. there's a staircase that goes to the. second level. It It looks kind of. dilapidated and I push through the same.

old creaky door and some of the same. faces from when I was there, but. everyone's got gray hair and they look. up and go and lunch. Yeah, lunch and. still nothing. But no, I would hang out. and chat with them a bit and then I. would say, "Well, I got to go priest. No, I'm going to go shoot a travel show. I'm going to, you know, Paris, fellas. I'll see YOU LATER. NO, kill me.

Kill me before you go. But uh. >> so I show I showed my my 10-year-old at. the time old episodes of uh Andy. Griffith. >> and he liked him, but he said he really. liked Goomer Pile. And I said, "Well, >> Goomer had his own show." And he goes, "What? What?". >> Yeah. >> And so we watched like 150 episodes of. Goomer Pile USMC. >> Yep. huge hit. >> And in the background is that writer's. building as a barracks. >> There you go. Yeah, they filmed it on. this on the Fox lot or at least part of.

it. >> And someone told me across from where we. did on the Fox lot, across from our sort. of old rickety building, there was a. little bungalow and we would sometimes. meet over there. We would look at. animatics. We would look at, oh, now the. color corrected versions come back. We're going to look at that. We'd have. meetings over there sometimes. And. someone told me that that was once. Marilyn Monroe's. dressing bungalow on the Fox. >> Yeah, I heard that story. >> No idea if that's true. >> I don't know. It's either. >> or it's where Laura and Hardy got. together.

>> to have sex. >> Sadly, that room is still where we watch. animatics. >> Is it really? >> Yes. >> Okay. Yeah, it's a. >> So, nothing's changed. >> Nothing Nothing has changed. >> And then these little odd things I I pop. up. I remember um we were writing an. episode and everyone's sitting around. and uh it's Patty and Selma uh Margie's. sisters and um and they're voiced also. by Julie Cavner and we.

one of them I think it was Patty or. Selma has a iguana a pet iguana and at. one point we needed to know the name of. the iguana and so Al Gene just said oh. and no we need a name for this iguana. And I remembered the whole room was just. like thinking and I like having a spasm. I just said jub job jub and I remembered. Al went okay jub job j job j job j job j. job j job j job j job j job j job jub. and then it's one of those things where. people reals fanats will come up to me.

sometimes and gojub jub and I'm like oh. oh yeah yeah but I. >> but you started using that phrase all. the time you you had a fictitious. product or something called job jub. Yes, I I built a whole religion around. jub jub. >> That's right. I was saying jub jub a lot. and then it's one of those things where. it's annoying to everybody all the time. and then the one situation came around. What do we call this iguana? And I just. went chub jub and they're like okay. >> But yes, that's actually the way it.

happened. >> Yes. >> Something was wrong with me. Glad it all. got fixed. >> Oh boy. >> Well, there are throwaway jokes that. then become part of the ver vernacular. I think it was George Meer. I may be. wrong, but he reached over and grabbed. something and said, "Yoink.". >> Yes. >> And And so now that became a thing where. you say the sound effect. >> of the thing that you're doing. >> Yes. >> And And then George got sick of it, but. we still use it. >> Yeah. >> I mean, just I I First of all, there has. to be a part two. If you've got the. time, you're welcome here anytime you.

want to come in because we barely. scratched the surface. There is so much. to talk about. So, it's an open. invitation anytime you want to come. >> Thank you so much. It's really nice to. see you uh relaxed. The last time I saw. you, I visited the office here and you. came out dressed in a German sailor. suit. >> I do remember that. I have a very strange life. I really do. >> And you and didn't acknowledge it. You. just. >> Hey, man. How's it going? Never. acknowledge. >> He He didn't know. He didn't know he was.

>> Yeah. I'm like Homer. I often forget. completely who I am and what I'm doing. >> Joined the German Navy. Um, no, you I. mean clearly you've brought the world so. much joy, but me personally you changed. my life and so I will never thank you. enough. I honestly don't know where I. don't know if my life would have. unfolded the way it did if I hadn't had. that that time at the Simpsons. It was. really perfect. >> Well, you you were great in the room and. and and I I wasn't surprised that you.

went places. In fact, I don't know if. you remember this the very uh when you. were it was announced that you were. going to be the host um. >> uh the New York Times called me up and. said is who is this guy? Is he funny? I. said he's funny. America will love him. and and they printed out on the front. page cuz I I was the only guy who knew. who you were. >> That's right. >> No. And this is back when every other. quote was him, you know, he looks like. an idiot and so the fact that I. >> the knives were out for you. Yes, they.

were. >> because you were a writer. Yeah, but I. remembered that that quote because I was. desperate for anything that would keep. people at you came back to the to the. lot and thank you. >> He's very he's very appreciative and and. and congratulations. and I know I I I've seen everything else. you've done. >> Yeah. >> No, but anyway, thank you for your. service. Oh,

>> you know, and and also again about the. Simpsons and Futama and everything else, >> it's a collaborative effort. You know, you can't, you know, it's it's a. combination of great writers and great. actors and great animators and great. musicians and it all comes together. So, I'm the spokes model. >> So, >> uh well, sir, I thank you and I'm. desperate to get you back here anytime. you want to be here. >> Thank you very much. >> For any reason. >> Thank you guys. >> Good night and God bless. September is. National Childhood Cancer Awareness. Month and Team Coco is teaming up with.

Hyundai Hope on Wheels in a fantastic. way. Children fighting cancer are the. real warriors. That's why Team Coco is. donating memorabilia to a special. charity auction benefiting Hyundai Hope. on Wheels. Hyundai Hope on Wheels has. supported children's families, doctors, and researchers since 1998 by funding. childhood cancer research and raising. public awareness. Check this out. Since. 1998, Hyundai has contributed more than. $33 million that helps fund research and.

advanced treatments that have helped. save more than 40,000 kids. The auction. is another way for us to get involved in. their mission and we're honored to be. able to take part in. I like that we're. doing this auction. >> And there's a lot of really good. memorabilia we have for the for the. podcast. A lot of cool swag. >> Also, some stuff that I think is unusual. and maybe fun for people to have. >> like a date with you. >> Uh, no. Well, that we've we've tried. that and we lost over $600,000. Tell you. what some of the auction items are. Okay. A meet and greet at the next live. garage show.

>> Oh, nice. >> Meet Conan O'Brien. >> Yeah. >> And the highest bidder gets to not meet. me. >> That'll go for a lot of money. Custom. cameo style videos from Conan. That's. me. Examples could be, I don't know, a. congratulations on a wedding, a happy. birthday message, just something fun. And I'll do that for you. We're gonna. auction off a Conan signed guitar. because everyone knows that when you. think great guitarist, you think Conan. O'Brien. A Conan famous doodle. I do a. little doodly guy. >> You doodle up a storm. >> I'm quite the doodler. >> Yeah. >> And also, we're going to auction off. four signed Funko figures.

>> Oh, wow. >> So, that'll be cool. >> That's very cool. Can I just say I drive. a Hyundai Palisade? >> You do? And it's a fine looking car. >> It is. And it's really great to drive a. car that's connected to such a good. cause. >> Yes. To drive be driving a car made by. people who are doing such a nice thing. Yes, >> this September, you can bid to win. exclusive Team Coco memorabilia. supporting Hyundai Hope on Wheels. Go to. the below link to bid and learn more at. hyundaiwarriors.com. Big news, Sona. >> Yeah. >> Did you know T-Mobile recently partnered. with the National Park Foundation?

>> No way. >> Yep. They're making it easier to stay. connected so you're free to wander. >> Well, that's really cool. >> And I love a national park. I really do. >> I do, too. >> I've been to many of them and I want to. see all the rest. It's on my bucket list. to see them all. >> Okay. Now, there's one thing you have to. have if you're doing that. Good signal. It's a priority. Do you know what I. mean? You got your maps, your music, this podcast. >> So, take America's Best Network plus. their offgrid satellite coverage with. you. Look, we're all a little spoiled, but we like to have access to all our.

stuff and suddenly you don't have it. because of a bad single. That's when I. throw my phone into the Grand Canyon. >> Oh, okay. >> Literally filled half the Grand Canyon. with phones. Then I got T-Mobile. Never. had to chuck them again, >> you know. >> Good. So wander over to t-mobile.com and. switch best based on analysis by UCLA of. speed test intelligence data for 2H. 2025. Wow, that's some sentence. T. satellite with capable device in most. outdoor areas in US where you see the. sky. That's important. You got to see. the sky. Service may be limited or.

unavailable. Included with experience. beyond or $10 per month. >> Auto renews. Cancel any time. That was. probably meant to be said by a robot. really quickly, but I just did it slowly. so you could really understand. >> Hey, I have something to talk about. which relates to us, Sona. >> Couple days ago, I'm hanging out at my. house. It's a weekend. Everything's. chill and all of a sudden Sona sends me. a text. >> and I looked down and what did the text. say, Sona? >> This the text said, "Hey, your car is.

going to be a few minutes late." And. it's very matterof fact. >> Yeah. Oh, your car is going to be a few. minutes late. Yeah. which is the kind of. text you send me if I've got to go to. the airport, right? Um, you know, I'm. I'm supposed to go to some function, I'm. got to do some work thing and a car is. going to take me there. >> Can I just say cuz I was your assistant. for such a long time and I used to book. all the cars for you and then David took. over but it's still my phone number. So, without even thinking, when I get a text. about his cars, like either coming or.

information from his thing, from his. drivers, I just text it to David and. Conan without checking. I don't even. know what he's up to. >> Um, I got this. So, it's really funny. because Sona um Sona has no connection. really to the day-to-day stuff, but then. out of the blue when I do get a text. from Sona, it's either a picture of her. two twins um hotwiring a car or.

>> uh it's um it's to tell me that a car is. waiting for me out front and then I go, "Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm supposed to go to. the airport or I'm supposed to go make. an appearance on this show or that. show." and they've sent a car for me. Um, so, uh, let me see if I can find. this. >> Where the hell is this going? >> Okay, hold on. So, I get a thing here. I'm going to read it to you now. >> Sona, your driver is running a few. minutes late. >> I text back. for like question mark like to take me.

where? And I for a second I'm just. thinking Sona just decided I need to go. So, your driver is running a few minutes. late. Sona for Sona um I she wrote. texted um um I don't know I just got a. text. and I texted back I ain't going nowhere. and Sona texts this is fun now David. Hopping is on the thread and um he.

suddenly pipes up that's weird. and then I text feels like a kidnapping. plot. and and cuz why is this card waiting for. me? Then Sona texts, I think it's a scam. text I fell for. I'm embarrassed. Um, >> what? >> You go. You go and then I'll read the. text I had with the guy. >> Okay. So, Sona writes, I think it's a. scam text I fell for. I'm embarrassed.

And then I wrote to Sona, now they have. your nudes. She gave that an ex double exclamation. point. Sona wrote back, "Who doesn't?". Then listen to this. Then Sona text, "Oh, wait. I ordered food and it's about. my food.". Then Sona texts, "I'm sorry, but this is. hilarious." Then David Hopping texts, "This is my favorite text thread.".

>> Yes. >> I text, "That's great." David Hopping, what did you order? And then Ice texts, "We got to read this on the pod.". >> Yeah. >> Then Sona writes, "This might be the. worst thing that's ever happened to me.". >> It was awful. >> Then Sona texts, "Goop kitchen.". And then um that's what she ordered. And. David Hopping writes, "Gwinneith really. knows what she's doing with that. kitchen.". >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And I write, "If you charge my card, I'm. having you arrested." And then I said,

"They have turkey meatballs that are. shaped like ovaries.". And then. and then Sona writes, "I don't charge. your personal card. I charge your. company and it's a writeoff, so you're. welcome.". And then Sona said, "I'm proud of you. for typing ovaries. I know it's. difficult for you.". >> Yes. >> I wrote, "I cried twice." Sona said, "I. enjoyed picturing that." David wrote, "#. growth.". >> Yeah. >> And then I wrote to David. David is head.

and I wrote it to both of you. David's. headed to Vegas to see Kelly Clarkson. and Sona is ordering goop on my dime. You guys have made it. >> Meanwhile, I've been slaving away in the. yard for 2 hours. >> What were you doing in the yard? >> I know. >> And then I Shona says, "What were you. doing in the yard?" And I say, "I go. into my yard to Manscape.". >> Oh god, >> that's pretty much the gist of it. This. is the bullshittery that goes on. The. three of us aren't doing anything.

separately and you it's like you set off. a room full of mousetraps. >> It's just I was like, "Oh, okay. I'm. doing my job." Like your car your car is. a few minutes late. And then. >> why is why are you even on these things? No idea. But also you didn't remember. that you had just ordered. >> I completely forgot. And then the the. guy he sent me a text. He goes, "Your. driver is on their way now, but it's. running a few minutes late." And so I. go, "Okay, I'll let him know. Thank you. >> Let who know." Yeah. How many edibles. have you had? >> No, none. This is my sober state. And.

then afterwards, I was like, wait, who. is this? And he goes, food delivery. And. I, okay, thank you. And then he said. he's on his way. And then when I. realized it was the food that I ordered. and the driver that I had requested that. was about me, >> I was like, do I even tell Conan or can. I just pretend there was a mixup and. that the car company messed up? But then. I ended up telling you it was which made. me feel really stupid. >> A strength of Son is she's honest. She's.

very honest. I might have just said, "Oh, some kind of error. I just chewed. the car company out and let them have. it.". >> No, but you didn't do that. >> I couldn't. No. Yeah. And they're a. really good car company, so I don't I. wouldn't want to, but. >> Okay. Well, anyway, good to see that. you're on it. Yeah. Boy, are you on it. >> How was the Goop Kitchen? >> It's good. It was really good. I don't. know, man. It was good. I was just. embarrassed. It was uh and embarrassing. myself in front of Conan is the worst. type of embarrassing. >> slash best thing. It's the best thing. that ever happens. >> Good for the show.

>> Well, I think we all learned a lesson. >> which is. >> uh trust but confirm, >> you know. >> Or verify. >> Mhm. >> Uh terrible. Just terrible.