Matt Gourley Can’t Sleep | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

hey there welcome to Conan O'Brien needs. a friend joined by my cohorts Sona. messian hey Sona hi and uh Matt gorley. hi Matt I think full disclosure is. important Matt uh has uh very uh young. daughter and uh you got no sleep last. night and I just think it's good for the. listeners to know what you're going. through in real time how what time were. you awakened 12:45 okay a.m. and was it.

screaming crying thing it was mommy I'm. ready to go in the living. room my God and uh so fully ready to go. had she had like a double shot latte. just before bed was a reason why she. woke up that thought we'd put the heater. on but we put the air conditioner on and. whatever the story was Amanda and Glenn. went out to the living room and slept. there and then I did not fall back. asleep at all I was just up the entire I. have not slept since and so I I come you.

what I am oh boy which yeah which is a. weird sentence I come to you what I mean. that sentence in and of itself is proof. that you shouldn't be operating. Machinery let alone co-hosting a podcast. not heavy machinery not even light. Machinery like this oh my God I am what. be. I uh yeah I remember uh neither of our. children were great sleepers and um it. kicks in later on and now that they're.

teenagers you can throw stones at them. while they're sleeping and they won't. get up and I often do because it's funny. um but uh yeah I used to I remember when. my daughter was really young and she was. in that phase where you know those. little lights that you put in a room you. see them I mean now they're in. households they're everywhere but if you. enter the room the light just goes on. it's a motion detector yeah I remember. realizing oh our daughter is a motion. detector so she could be fast asleep and.

if you. just put your pinky in the room in a. dark room where she was and held it up. in the air she would be up and go we. play now you know and it was time to go. rock and roll not going back to sleep. for six hours oh boy yeah it was just. incredible but but your now your kids. pass out no one of them Mikey can sleep. through anything Charlie and now they. and they were like climbing out of their. cribs like like stealth Ninja.

so I wouldn't know they were up until I. like looked when I I just opened my eyes. and one is one's face is right next to. me what if you found out later they were. Jewel thieves they could be and there. was a rash of and then you you'd wake up. in the morning and there was just. incredible rubies necklaces in their. cribs and you kind of kept it quiet yeah. I mean it's also I don't know if. stealing is genetic but if it is they. got the Jean for me you are wearing a. ton of jewelry you are wearing a lot of. jewelry today what is going on children.

steal them for me I've trained them I. just see them with little suction cups. they've got the thing that Tom Cruz has. where you're lowered on wire and you go. right down to the bottom they climb over. U baby gates now the baby gates can't. even hold them anymore like nothing baby. proofing do they brag when you come into. the house with something they're like. that will not hold us we cannot be held. by any manmade barrier why do they have. that accent I don't know they've been. listening to a they have they have.

Babble they've been they've been free. plug for Babble by the way you're not. paying us any money I just love that. they've listen to a lot of Babble at. night and then you come in hello. Mother where's. poter and the night we pl in some. precious. jewelry from the local. Museum we do hope you enjoy well I'm. sorry you didn't get look at him he's. resting his chin you're resting your. chin on the microphone.

good for the sound uh is there any way. are you any good at taking a nap no I I. no no no I'm a horrible sleeper as it is. so if you always were I'm you know what. that is your conscience oh it maybe what. do you mean wait what do you mean I. think you've committed horrible crimes. can you sleep yeah like a baby no that. can't be oh keep sociopath no sociopath. okay that makes sense that checks out oh. yeah I uh there's a famous story from in.

our family lore when we were kids and uh. a bat got loose in the house what yeah a. bat came into the house cuz you know we. live in in Suburban Boston in a cave I. my father my father fought crime to. avenge the death of his parents um just. knowing your dad yeah my dad pretended. to pretended to be an academic medicine. and he' go like yes yes I'm I think I'm. going to go to the lab and going work on. this uh this new strain of uh new this.

this new strain of this bacteria is. rather concerning it's shown up in. Austria to go to the lab and just check. it out and then he Batman has six kids. yeah Batman has six. kids anyway does his Persona change when. he goes oh yeah he goes down the bat. pole and then he's Batman I'm Batman and. he's suddenly like kicking ass then he. comes back home again yes I like I think. I have a little bit little super a.

little V8. juice does he have a lab cat on over his. Bat Suit yeah he sometimes forgets. sometimes he's fighting crime in the lab. coat cuz he forgot and people are like. what what the f he's like oh God damn it. quick temper uh Irish temper God damn it. Jesus Christ um but yeah my father. fought crime anyway a bat got into the. house in the summer and like everyone in. the house woke up and was chasing it and. I used to to share a room with my uh at.

the time I think I was just sharing with. my brother Luke I used to share it with. Luke and Neil but I was just sharing it. with Luke then and they everyone in the. family came cha was chasing the bat and. they all chased it into the room where I. was asleep Luke was awake chasing it my. father used to always try and capture. them because he wanted to get them to. the lab to study if they had rabies or. not so uh um and to avenge the murder of. his parents in in Gotham City uh anyway. um but they were everyone's jumping from.

bed to bed and I'm on the bed fast. asleep never I mean people were jumping. on the bed screaming bat bat I'm out the. whole time and then in the morning I. wake up like and everybody said I can't. wasn't that crazy last night and I said. what what was crazy I'm so jealous I. haven't slept through the night since I. was probably 18 I don't know but what do. you do when you wake up spiral you know. just or just like you know I don't do. anything I don't look on my phone I try. to keep it real.

I'm so you Tred to keep it real huh so. sorry you to keep it yeah he's from the. streets he's trying to keep it real yeah. yeah yeah oh Matt Matty gorls Matty gor. keeping it real oh my God I love that. checking your phone means you're not. keeping it real I know that means no one. on earth is keeping it. real I'm so so tired I'm sorry I'm sorry. I feel I feel I feel for him I don't. wait now it's gone uh it was just. momentary it was a weird up so I can go.

yeah okay we're going to let you go home. so you cannot sleep there have you ever. tried is there anything that might help. you go to sleep I've tried everything I. can think of everything there is you. should try listening to this. podcast oh I should mention I do fall. asleep when I'm. editing every time and it's the best. sleep you've ever had oh man.