Martin Short Thinks Conan Looks Like A “Freeze-Dried Prince Harry” | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

gentlemen it's a rare honor to have you. both here ah thank you Conan in the same. room I'll tell you one thing it's rare. to be here it is I left out the word. honor but. that's just an oversight just before we. started recording. um Marty who. you verbally assaulted me no no no no I. I said it with love that to me when I. see you you look like someone. freeze-dried Prince Harry that's all I. said.

I uh it's um you know my staff looks. forward to any time that Marty pardon me. I have a staff wow. it's very lucrative it gets smaller. every year yeah but um no fans of my. show and yes there are fans of the work. that I've done in the past let's not. have any mock surprise about that but. they um they have put together a uh. mashup of uh of Marty coming on the show.

and ripping me apart. uh and it is wildly popular oh really oh. yes it is it is wildly popular and it. Delights uh my writers to the point. where the last time when we were. wrapping up the Late Night show a epic. 28 year run thank you uh I'm driving to. uh one of the last episodes that Marty's. gonna do uh and he did an extremely. funny bid on it and I'm driving to the.

theater and I looked down and I realized. I'm doing something I rarely do which is. wear shorts. [Laughter]. immediately I thought I'm driving. towards the Largo theater and I thought. Marty who's on today Marty's on today. and I knew that he would destroy me and. sure enough you come in and hello hello. everybody and then I see those two eyes. Dart over and they see my freckled legs.

there. and it began and it began and it was it. was quite a sun it was absolutely a. terrifying. sight and you couldn't because normally. you can't see where the stilts are. attached you could that day. the shorts revealed way too much oh and. they were short shorts. 1970s yeah Joey Heatherton. like you were entertaining the troops.

but uh the writers were so so happy and. then of course your the line that just. you said it on late night and it uh it's. lived forever which is well you'll do it. better than I but it was Conan uh. whatever you're doing to your face I say. 20 more and then stop. which is. mean in nine years it's a love letter. I love it's also done with care yes.

you're worried about me yeah a little. more about 20 more now I feel like I. have to put you down and I've got. nothing no no you don't you don't. because you're Steve oh help. line. uh well I don't want to embarrass either. of you so I won't mention that uh you. are just two of my uh Absolute Comedy. Heroes I'm sure you hear that kind of. thing all the time and it bores you but. one of the pleasures of my life and I'm. not kidding was when you asked me to do.

a cameo in your show your live show at. Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. and I I was outside my body getting to. be be on stage with you guys it made me. so happy so legitimately sincerely happy. you kill I remember you did Kill I mean. you. we learned a lesson because you showed. up with writers one writer I can't. afford two I showed up with my well. you're a writer yeah oh that's true yeah.

that's true well I suppose I am. um no I I end uh Matt he's Matt O'Brien. no relation but I only hire O'Brien's. and uh he um idolizes you both as well. and he was just in heaven and then there. was but I thought yeah come along with. me and and help me tweak a few things. since I really wanted it to be. better than what I could it was it was. inspiring and we've had people show up. with with nothing no writers and they. did way better by the way.

and then I heard you guys later bumped. into Letterman and he was like Conan. brought a writer no no because Dave did. it as well right yeah what was the line. you were sitting off stage with Dave and. he looked. what was it you were sitting off stage. waiting for me to come on they look kind. of morose this sounds like Dave so far. they edit by the way he had okay no no. no no he didn't oh not at all no an. editor costs money as well everything is. in uh no but.

um it was fantastic it was uh but I. remember you were saying that Dave was. sort of he had been off the air for just. a little bit and then of course he. always does the thing where he's. horrified that he if I go on stage it'll. just be awful yeah and I'm like you're. David Letterman what are you you know. but he's done it and of course the place. goes nuts yes and then and then. afterwards he still has a negative. feeling about it even though he's killed. yeah he but he had only been off a few. I think this was like in June and he'd. left six weeks before right exactly.

exactly but he is his personality is. always you know he came by and which. meant a lot to me did a cameo on late. night which was his old studio and he. came by and of course his attitude was. well they're just gonna hate me well. there's a you know there's a. there's an event how will they know who. I am will you say my name before I come. out there's a self-defense mechanism in. being overly paranoid and then when you. get a little cheer when you come out and. you go oh I was wrong yes yes I'm.

familiar with it with Marty yeah I think. with me yes I think and it would I think. it's kept me out of the big money not. having that attitude I'm just kind of. going oh you don't like me well you know. I don't like you either but good night. yeah it is a little he does have that. attitude I'm this insecure shaking one. and he says I don't give a right. they're going to love me well if they. don't guess what if I had dinner with. them I'd be bored that's all exactly oh.

yeah well often that was your opening. line though it was and I didn't know why. I didn't play. who are you people no one's bathed. Obviously good night. where's my big money why didn't I get. the big money why don't they like me. they don't ever me again I was um so I. got to see your show uh and I was so. impressed with how you guys worked it. out and even though you both knew the. show so well you had a rehearsal and you. were still.

uh working so hard to make sure that it. went perfectly at rehearsal and I. thought this is there are no accidents. like people that are good in my opinion. there yes there is talented but there. was talent but then there's just this. just mad desire to get it perfectly. right and it never goes away well I. always think that that by the way I'm. here too go ahead oh. did you just sneak into this chair. no but I'm always amazed I feel like I.

should I start raising my hand. okay well go ahead you say something no. I don't have it I had something I say I. I think we prepare I prepare out of fear. yep and also love because when we get a. new joke I've I'm energized the whole. show I cannot it's true wait to get to. this joke and often they don't work in. fact here's an example because I thought. let me just say when they don't work uh. I am like either on stage or in the. wings I go hysterical yes because he's.

been so excited all day about this go. ahead I had a joke the other night I. thought when I introduced Marty I. thought oh this this is really going to. work right and then we're going to. analyze why it didn't work afterwards. yes but I said and this man he's he's. done live television he's been in film. and he's done Broadway and truly he is a. master of the toxic workplace. environment. and it was just sort of like yeah and uh.

I realized later it's had too many words. in it yeah you know it needed to be more. of like a casual throwaway in the middle. of our inside toxic you had to have just. read the story about uh that um. no no I don't think everyone is. following you know variety everybody. memorized about a toxic workplace. environment obviously because you've got. nothing yeah remember that part I mean. Conan shorts represent a toxic workplace.

absolutely for the crew oh we settled. out of court.