Martin Short LIVE From SiriusXM (FULL EPISODE) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

This episode of Conan O'Brien needs a. friend is sponsored by Macy's. Let's. introduce the man of the hour, Mr. Conan. O'Brien. Hey, how are you? Wow. Uh, well, this that woo was sad. Um, no, no, that was too much. You got. to try and get a little bit in the. metal. Um, no, not there. Let's stop. with the woos. Um, this is the smallest. crowd I've ever played. Uh, but I know. there are people Oh, there you are. Good. Hi. Hi. Nice to see you. You're.

behind glass. This is like they're. testing a product and these are people. watching. Uh I was Blle, you introduced. me. I didn't know I was being. introduced. I was as far away from you. There's a hallway outside here at SXM. that goes it's like 150 yards and I was. way down there talking to our guest when. I heard. So I ran like a madman to get here and. that's why I've had a heart attack. Now. listen, we're going to have a wonderful, wonderful show. Thank you for being.

here. How did you all get here, by the. way? I love the shirt. Um, don't wear it. in the rain. How did you all get here? Did you apply? What? What happened? Are. you contest losers? What happened? Yes. Team Coco winner from Instagram. Hey, nice. All right. And I know we hid a. ticket somewhere. I don't know where. that What happened? So, tell me how you. found that ticket. I'm just I did a. thing where I said we were going to hide. this ticket outside Macy's. Were you. watching? Yeah, I saw it about I saw it. about 20 minutes later and I knew.

exactly where it was because I worked a. couple blocks away. Okay. And um so this. is the biggest moment of your life. This. there will never be anything. You'll. have children. You'll probably become. president, but this is the biggest. moment of your life. Yeah. It's all. downhill from here. Yeah. Yeah. Starting. right now, you're going to hate the. interview. You're going to loathe it. I. can't talk to these people because. they're in the witness protection. program behind glass and I think there. are people listening elsewhere, but it's. really wonderful to be here at I call it. SiriusXM. That's my little nickname for.

it. I love coming to New York. I've been. having a wonderful time and I want to. bring out a good friend of mine. He's uh. grew up in a cornfield in southern uh. Illinois and this is his first time in. the big city. And I'm not kidding. He. got scared when we got into an elevator. yesterday. I told him, "Relax. It's a. magic room. Uh, let's bring him out. here. David Hopping. David, the magic room. David, um, you are from. Tell us where you're from. Carlinville,

Illinois. It's near Springfield. Okay. And it's a town of like 11 people. Uh, like 5,000. About 1100. And, um, what's. that? You guys could sit in the chairs. Why would we sit? Well, I'm just saying. it's a it's a it's the uh intro segment. for the podcast. Who are you? I'm just. I'm saying you could stand also, but you. could there's some nice chairs. You're. right. There's some comfortable chairs. here. Why wouldn't we sit? There's a. good sitting energy. Yeah, there's mics. there. Yeah. Okay. These mics work. Okay. Um uh it's nice of you to come. David, you've seen We've been here about. 3 days and you've seen 15 Broadway. shows. Yes. I've seen three so far and.

then I'm seeing one on Saturday. Yes. Yeah. And uh it's great. It's a I mean, when you were growing up in this tiny. tiny town where there's just corn. I. mean, corn is everything. There's a lot. of corn. Yeah. There's a lot of corn. And you didn't have a television. And. there was no heat or or and and you grew. up uh you know you I think you were a. scarecrow for a while. I'm curious. Okay. Did and then you come to this city. with Conan O'Brien. The first the only. time I've ever been to this city is with. you. And you walk around with me. I do.

And your job is to tell people, "Hey, look, it's Conan O'Brien. He's really. He's so needy. They don't seem to recognize me." Um. you're very good at that. Thank you. Yeah. And you hand out Someone has to do. it. Yeah. You hand out He hands out my. bio explaining it. I'm like, "Oh, the. symptoms QR code." Yeah. Uh well, I hope. you're having a good time. I am. Cuz. that's really your job is to have a good. time. The last time we were here, we. spent Valentine's Day. I at a really nice restaurant. I sent my. wife a picture cuz we were here for work.

and I sent my p my wife a picture of. David and I at a romantic restaurant and. I said, "No, don't be sad. It was a. lovely evening. I got you a rose. Remember that? you were maybe going to. have a friend visit. So, we had like a. third place set up and then finally the. waiter just came and slowly just took it. away. It was tragically sad, but I had a good. time. You're a good friend. Thank you. You're my paid friend. You're an. assistant. Um and uh this is fun. It's. really fun to be here. There's an energy. in New York. It's Well, it's it's.

terrible. I think it makes us better. versions of ourselves. We are better. Yeah, we were nice. I've been uh I've. been to a couple of Broadway shows. already. It's been it's been wonderful. Your wife's been to a lot, too. Anything. to get away from me. She goes without. me. She brings a handsome guy with her. Um, well, I think we should probably. Should we What should we do? Should we. bring out our guest now? Bla, you're in. charge of this. And you're the boss. If. you want to bring out the guest, we got. a great guest. So, you're holding the. mic kind of close to your mouth in a. weird way. I don't really know how these. work. I only see kind of American Idol.

Everyone I'm talking to so far is not a. professional. You You came to Kona Co to install air. conditioning. That's right. Yes. And. then we just gave you a mic and we let. you go and you I don't even remember how. we found you. I just walked in one day. We have no security at Team Coco. I. think he's our sec. David's our. security. I'm really threatening. everybody. Very intimidating. Yeah, exactly. You I think you tell people. leave Conan alone or I'll take you to. the Broadway show Smash. Yeah, I went to. see Smash. I had a great time. Yeah.

Wait, did you see two shows last night? I did a double feature last night. I saw. Oh Mary and Sunset Boulevard. Oo, a gas. Oh, Mary is fantastic. It was so It's. like hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. Perfection. I loved every second. Perfection. Well, not every second. There's one second I. don't like. No, I love everyone. We um. we are blessed. I mean, this is a I'm. going to introduce our guest who's a. mystery. Your legs. There's a woman. right here whose legs are going like. Are you about to pounce? What are you.

going to do? You're going to charge. anytime. Anytime. Our security is right here. Yeah. No, no. Yeah, that's my security. Yeah. Come on up. And if you're free on. Valentine's Day, let me know and we'll um What an. interesting thing to say. I have uh this. I introduce guests and and sometimes I. say, "Oh, I really love this person.". And I really don't. Um. but uh this person uh is one of my. favorite people of all time. Has been.

since I was a young man. He's much older. than me. Um, but I'm just uh he's uh and. this card says my good friend. He is a. good friend and a hilarious comedian. And I think no, that doesn't do it. He's. I believe the funniest person I've ever. met and I've met everybody and um he's. also one of the loveliest people I've. ever met and I am absolutely over the. top, crazily thrilled that he's here. with us. My guest today uh is all those. things and he stars on the hit Hulu.

series Only Murders in the Building. I'm. excited he's here. Marty Short. [Music]. [Applause]. Oh my god. Sorry to disappoint. Hi, I'm. Martin Short and I feel duped being. Conan O'Brien's friend. I love this man. Marty, I have to tell. you, this woman right here, she did.

this. I'm going to recreate what she. just did. She went, "Oh my god, she's losing it right now." Oh no, it's. just me. Hi everyone. Yeah, these are. microphones, Marty. They go a little. closer. Yeah, that's okay. Well, Conan, Diddy, Jeffrey Epstein O'Brien, it is a. thrill. to see you. Yes. It's lovely to I can't. believe you cuz I would assume you'd be. get hopping a flight to Washington for. the big parade.

I'm a big fan, you know, be there to. support. It must have been so weird for. you that whole Elon Trump fight. It's. like kind of your Sophie's choice. Who. do you who do you pick? I love them. both. They're so good. They're. wonderful. Um they're so wise. I uh. meant everything I said in my interview. in my pre-in if you will. And uh you. tell me if you'd had a stroke. I just. had one right there. Massive stroke. Cerebral event I like to call it. You uh. you've just I this gentleman I first.

started watching him on SCTV when I was. uh I want to say 14 years old, 15 years. old. And um you and your cohorts and I. thought oh I didn't think anything could. be this funny. I thought it I thought. funny was and I had been watching SNL. for a couple of years when SCTV when I. saw that for the first time and I. thought oh this is an Oenheimer moment. for me like this is a new level of funny. and I still feel that way and I and you.

have said that SCTV you think is maybe. despite all of your crazy success might. be the purest reflection of your craft. You think that's true? I think it was. true because it was so ideally done. You. know, you would write for six weeks with. people that you had known and worked. with for 10 and 12 and 15 years at that. point. You guys all knew each other. I. went to university with Eugene Levy and. Dave Thomas, right? You know, Andrea.

Martin is my sister-in-law. Yeah. You. know, there was a lot I knew Katherine. Harrison. She was 18 I first met her. And so, we all loved each other. You. would write for six weeks. You would. shoot with no audience so that no one. was telling you you by, oh, I know you. thought that was funny, but we're saying. it's not funny. We just went with our. instinct of what was funny. And because. we were on so late and we were never. that big a hit, NBC really didn't care. about us. So, we were on it. So, we.

didn't have done there, done that. But, no, I know the feeling. Well, I set you up for I know the. feeling. Yeah. Oh, that was all you. Okay. Um, look how he did. He took. credit. But beautiful. Uh, I uh I know. what you're talking about when when the. essence to me of the best comedy is when. you're making yourself and your friends. happy and then other people pick up on. that and your attitude is look this is.

what we're giving you. This is what we. believe in. And then my brothers and I. are watching in Misswamakut, Rhode. Island at our grandfather's house on a. TV that's picking up a weird station in. Buffalo, uh, off Buffalo and we're. getting it in Rhode Island and we're. religious converts to what you guys are. doing because. just so many fantastic characters and. then jokes that were there for people. that were paying attention. And I think. now it was like comedy for the internet.

years and years before the internet. because you're putting a little Easter. egg in there and you guys are saying, "Hey, if you get this, fantastic. If you. don't, you don't." Oh, and also there. were I mean, and I can speak objectively. about SCTV because I joined it late. So, I mean, they had already won Emmys by. the time I joined. So, when I'd see Rick. Morannis. do a VJ when no such thing existed. Yeah. Or comment that Michael McDonald. seemed to be on every album. So you see.

him running from studio to studio doing. and running out of the I think this is. the level who makes these observations. that I might have thought about in the. best moments of my day, you know. So, um, listen, I it was just an honor and. thrill, but it was I remember one point. I was doing a piece called the Nutty Lab. Assistant, and the premise was that Ed. Grimley uh took a potion and became John.

Cougar Melanchamp. That was But anyway, so now that old bit, that old bit. So, now we're on stage and I'm Grimley and. and John Cougar, then he didn't have the. melanch was getting ready to replace me. as I transition. And I saw Andrea and. John Candy and Catherine who were. playing just people in the audience. laughing and laughing and I thought, "Look at these people. They love each. other. They've been friends. They've. done Second City Stage. They know each. other so well. And look where we are.".

And that was 1982, you know. Yeah. And. it continues. I was such a fan that when. I was in college, I invited John. Kennedy. It was just after not long. after Splash to come visit the lampoon, which is where I really got my start, come see uh and and meet everybody and. go to a dinner and and we did an event. that he would be the guest at. And I. spent a day with him, which is was a. wonderful time in my life. And then.

that was his real life. Yeah. Yeah. And. then years later, I bump into a woman. She said, "I'm John Candy's daughter.". And I said, "Oh, hi." And she said, "I. have a picture you might want." and she. had a picture that John took of me. I'm the sweetest little girl you ever. saw. Um, wearing my little I put on a. special jacket cuz I'm going to meet. John Candy at You had the Buster Brown. haircut, right? Yeah. I'm dressed as a. Catholic school girl. And I uh I just I. He took a picture of me and I thought I.

I don't know. It's so funny that I don't. have a picture with John. I have a. picture he took of me, but he was. everything I wanted him to be. And. that's something that's that that was. his genius that he was everything you. wanted him to be. And that's why when. you see especially Planes, Trains, and. Automobiles, it he just breaks your. heart because he was such a brilliant. actor. But he was so funny and so sweet. You know, I will also credit I'll say. this about Mr. Martin Short that when. I'm so I grew up idolizing this guy and.

then I um I have noticed that over the. years we've become friends which has. been just one of the greatest gifts of. my life. He's Marty Short 24/7. and it's awful. See that sounds kind of. desperate actually that way. It's. terrible. He's doing grimly and I'm like. sit down. We're at a funeral. I was just. about to say this is my dad's funeral. But no, you um you came in and you're.

just uh you're and and always uh you're. one of my I'm going to say maybe my. favorite insult comic. Your insults are. so Oh, no. It's done with love. Oh, it. really isn't. No, no, no, no, no. I. mean, look, when I say you look like a. 6'5 in creamsicle, I mean that. because you're pale. Let's face it. I. mean, if you had a pimple right in your. middle of your forehead, you look like. the Japanese flag.

You're like if Iceland had a face. Okay. Okay. Okay. Enough. Are we good. now? Yeah, we're done. Are these I had. that get out of there. You know, I. didn't run this morning. So, the biggest. mistake I've made in my career was on uh. Oh, I I can think of some. Okay. Let's. take it easy there. Down. Down. Yeah. uh was one of my final uh late night. shows and I'll be doing at the at a. theater in Los Angeles a couple years. ago, I think three years ago and um I'm.

coming to rehearsal. It's a brutally hot. day and so I never wear shorts, but I. thought, "Oh, I'll just wear shorts to. rehearsal. What does it matter?" So, I'm. wearing shorts. What is, you know, it. doesn't matter. I'm just there with. whoever's the guest and and we'll just. be at rehearsal and whatever we're going. to do. And I'm driving in and my mind. starts to go, who is the guest today? And I'm. And then I realize it's Martin Short. And I, oh And I Well, when you walked in,

it was like I thought first I thought I. was looking at two rolls of paper. towels. They were your legs. Well, this is what I go, no. No. And I'm. thinking, should I try and stop and buy. pants? It's too late. I get there. Uh, Marty comes in, he and like a laser. beam. The first thing he does is he does. maybe 10 minutes. That's devastatingly. hilarious about my legs. I didn't know.

uh, you know, uh, beef jerky came as. spam. You know, I just made that one up, but I want But. anyway, just bang bang bang bang bang. And my writers were crying because they. love it. They never get to see anyone. really. And Martin Short comes in and it. was the best treat. Well, that is the. joy when you when the boss is ripped to. shreds. Yes. And when the boss is has. hideous legs, they weren't Betty Greyel. gams as we used to say in the 40s. You.

know, a reference the kids will love. Thank you. Thank you so much. This is being filmed in black and white. You had a great honor, which is you were. inducted not long ago into the uh. fivetimers club at Saturday Night Live. Great honor. Uh and I uh I I've done one Saturday. Night Live and then Lauren said, "Okay, we saw how that goes." Um but that is a. I I was in the first uh Five Timers.

Club. I was the guy who opened the door. I'm one of the first lines on the first. five timers club where they induct uh. Tom Hanks and I remembered all I had to. do was say hello Mr. Hanks and I think. he says hello Sean and then and I'm. wearing a blue blazer and all I have to. do is take a smoking jacket off of a. hook, help him off with his jacket and. put the smoking jacket on. That's all I. have to do. I'm very young. It's. Saturday Night Live. Well, you're not on. TV yet. No, no, no. I'm a writer on SNL.

and Jim Downey said have Conan do that. because he thought I was a funny lad and. um I I'm there audience live television. uh and knock knock I open the door and I. go hello Mr. Hanks cuz I'm in my head. saying hello Mr. Hanks hello Mr. Hanks. hello Mr. Hanks. He comes in. He goes, "Hello, Sean." And I help him off with. his jacket. And then I go to get the. robe and I'm putting the sleeve on. wrong. And I've looked at it.

subsequently and it's a second. It was 30 minutes to me. It was I. couldn't get his his arm through and it. was horrifying and it was it was my. Well, you know, the same thing happened. when Jimmy Fallon was trying to put the. coat on me and he couldn't get it. They. finally just Yeah, but he really. that up. Just inept. Um Yeah. Well, what are you. going to do? I know. It's true. Um but. uh he's on NBC. Yes, he is. Yeah. Yeah.

His show lasted. They kept him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, like they. were like, "This guy is good." Yeah. Um, anyway, let's not dwell on that. No, no, no. That's a lot. A little more. Um, well, as I said, just in the. dressing room, at least you hold no. bitterness toward it. So, that's what I. really don't actually. I Yeah. No, no, you've let everything go. Yeah. That's. one thing about you. You let defeats go. Go ahead. No, no, no, no. In my own way, it was a wonderful thing. Uh,

we're going to edit that out. No one's. no one snorts at me on my show. Uh we have to talk about Only Mur in the. Building because it is a phenomenon and. one of the things that's been lovely to. see is first of all massive hit and. second it's so nice that it's come so. late in your life. Um. you've got what you got like a year or. two tops. Yeah. Yeah. Uh I've talked to.

your doctor and um but no it it is such. a phenomenon and and what if I. just in my sleep tonight pass away. What. do you do with it? Do you Conan can. predict the future? That is a huge win. for me. That I guess that's true. You've. got to check out Conan the Marty's last. interview where Conan predicts. Yeah. It's fantastic. Yeah. You're like the. new Nostradamo. Yeah. Or Moo. Nostradamos. Yeah. Um, we can edit that. No, I'm going to keep that in. Um, all.

my laughs will stay in. Yours will go. Uh, I do the edits myself. We're going. to put And hopefully you do the. sweetening because I've heard your. laughs. We put crickets in on you and. huge laughs from the 1950s on me. No, no, no. Before I came out, I I said to. your producer, I thought they had an. audience, but but I was hearing nothing. I um No, I It's a fantastic show. You. get to work with your partner Steve.

Martin. You guys are so fantastic. together. Thank you. And the the idea I. love Steve. The idea Well, you say that. now. Um at dinner tonight, it'll be a. different story after a few drinks. But. um you know what really bites me about. him. is it's about him all the time. Selena. Gomez, of course, just fantastic. Mr. Short, we closed a long time ago. Um, they. they're literally putting your chair on.

top of the table. Uh, but there's this old It used to be a. classic form in television was the. double act, the two-hander, and then I. think it kind of went away and you guys. brought it back. And to watch you two, as funny as you are separately, to watch. you two work together and switch off. when you guys hosted SNL together, I. contacted you right afterwards and I. said, "That is the best SNL monologue I.

think I've ever seen." It was absolute. comedy masterclass. I think you two were reading you. You. have an amazing bit where you say, you. know, we do each other's eulogies. We do. each other's eulogies. And I think is it. your line or Steve's which is wow I. thought there'd be more people here. That was Steve's. That was Steve. That's. Steve's to you. And it is first of all. mine is you there there's so many. wonderful things I could say about Steve.

Martin but this hardly seems the time. nor the place. But watching you guys and you were uh I. one of the big thrills of my life was. you once asked me to do a guest uh. hosting thing your live show and I'm I'm. calling my brothers saying I'm going to. Las Vegas to be on stage at Caesar's. Palace with Steve Martin and you know. Martin. Yeah. Thank you. And um and they.

I mean that's what it means to me. And. uh but I got to sit in at rehearsal and. watch you two work together. And that. was like everyone should see that. because. I don't know anyone who the two people. who prepare more than anybody in the. business are Steve Martin and Marty. Short. Over the years you did my show I. think 25 times. 23 are okay. and then there's two that were really uh.

really good. But no, you were on 25. times and every time he did it, he you. would keep calling back the second. producer. Okay. Is send me the latest. draft, working, working, working and. then you would come out and it's a Swiss. watch. And a lot of young people ask me, you know, um how can I avoid what you. did? Uh but no, they they they a lot of. young people ask me, "What do I do?" And. I say, "If you work hard and you really. prepare, I mean, that's part of it. Clearly, you're crazy crazy off the.

charts talented. Well, I think the whole. approach that I've always done in in. every element of show business is. prepare so much that no matter what. happens, you can go home that night and. toast yourself with a glass of. champagne. Say, I did everything I. could. I can't help it if Conan's stiff. I can't. But even even when you're So. what I do is I overprepare. and then I go out kind of gunning for.

bear knowing, you know, I've done. everything I can do. Truthfully, the. host might be off. You might hiccup, the. audience might be, but there's nothing. more you could have done. And I even do. that in movies. Sometimes you're doing a. movie and you realize the director is. not that great. And so what I do is I. make the crew and the cast love me so. that everyone loves me and then I can go. up to the director and say, "Oh, can I. have a freedom take? Can I have one more.

take? And should we give Marty a freedom. take?" And they all love Marty. So yes. And then I can do it faster and slower. and improvise. And then I can go home. and say that will pick the wrong. take. But I did everything I can. This. toasting yourself at night with alcohol. is sad. Yeah. Well, I I don't think the. first couple are sad. I think when it gets into. uh spillage here, you know, and no one's.

there, you know, but you did that. You I. saw you you did it on our show. You've. always um you've always left nothing to. chance. And you're thinking about it, you know, your early Letterman. appearances, your Carson appearances. I. remember just how funny you were. And. people who don't know think they think, well, it's Martin Short, so that's what. happens. No, I mean, you it's important. that people know there's a whole. architecture and a lot of work that goes.

into it beforehand. Well, it is a weird. thing. I remember the first time I did. an important American talk show was Dave. Letterman in ' 82. And I remember. thinking, okay, how do I do what do I do. here? And I thought, oh, I know what it. is. You have to be on. You have to be like a charming person at. a dinner party, but it's got to be eight. minutes of your best dinner party. moment. Yeah. But you don't have the. hour and a half to ramp up to that 8. minutes. So, you have to figure out what.

those eight minutes would be. Dave was. always funny because sometimes, like one time I went on and he said, "Tell the Tony Randall story." And I. said, "Dave, I was on seven weeks ago. and I told the Tony Randall story." No. one cares. No one's watching, he said. Yeah. Yeah. But so sometimes you would. find you would hit some of the but at. least you went out knowing, okay, I can. relax cuz I'm prepared. Also, when you. prepare like that, you're available to.

play in the moment. if something you're. confident. I always think if I I want to. prepare, prepare, prepare, and then get. out there and if I've thrown it all away. because I get out there and something. happens that I wasn't expecting, that's. even better. Absolutely. If you haven't. used that stuff, absolutely. I mean, with certain hosts, you know, with you, I had to prepare every second because I. knew I wasn't going to get much. But. no, we would we we had great times, you.

and I. There's there's a best of of me. and Conan I think on the internet that. is just fantastic. There is a mashup. Some fan did a mashup of all of Marty's. appearances and you want to see a master. at work this and it's just it's mostly. insulting me and it's it's one of my. favorite things in the world. And then. you told me once that you were on the. internet and one of the comments was, "Does does Marty real does Mart realize.

that Conan's 6'4 and can kick the. out of it?" That's right. Yeah. Well, what happens what happens when when you. do talk shows and then, you know, I'm. not on social media, but I will go to. YouTube to find look at the last. appearance just to see, oh, oh, they. didn't use that joke. Oh, go I can use. that joke. Um, and but you're seduced by. the comments and there's always, you. know, that thing of, oh, he he's fun. Oh, I like him. I have been bored by that guy from day. one. And then one of them was, you know, Conan, he he attacks Conan. If Conan.

wanted to, he could take him apart. Like, oh my m, you know that as if you. say these insults to me and afterwards, I'm like, I've got to get Martin. He'll pay. He'll pay. Um, only one of the things. about that's so fun about only emerg in. the building is you you don't need them. because you've got this amazing nuclear. core of you, Steve, uh, and and and.

Selena and it's just wonderful. But then. you have guest stars and you can have. whoever you want and you're getting the. cream of the crop and it's an honor. At. one point I looked over, we were. shooting something and there were. chairs. You know, we're in a holding. area and I looked and there was Merryill. Street and there was uh Kristoff Waltz. and there was Renee Zelwer and there was. Diane Wuest and I was starting to count. the Oscars and it was 2 46 89. Jesus,

you know, it was insane. Yeah. I have a. um writer. You have an ace? I have an. cable ace award. Yeah. Writer guild. nomination. Yeah. Yeah. I uh But um do. you have I mean you've had everyone on. Who's on the wish list for Cuz you just. wrapped I believe season five. Yeah, that's correct. And two days ago. Two. days ago. And um do you have a wish list. for who would come up next? I think you.

know he's from Chicago. I think Poplio. would be the kind of guy He did a lot of. improv at Second City. He did a lot of. improv at Second City. He was in He was. in the touring company with Bonnie Hunt. for a couple years. No, no, no, no. Listen, he's I think it's I think it's. going to be a different era. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, um uh No, I don't listen. There's so many I know so many great. actors that I would love to work with, but um I don't know. Wouldn't Ryan.

Reynolds be great? Wouldn't you know? Yeah. Idol Apino. No, she's gone. But. you know what I mean. Betty Greyel. Betty. Yeah, she's got gams forever. Yeah. How about those gams? No, I don't. know. There's there's I am always amazed. at I Here's what I the proudest of I am. of Only Murders. It has a reputation of. being the happiest, loosest, most fun. set to be on. And a lot of these great. legendary names that we have attracted.

have heard that. And that's one of the. reasons they're doing it. So, and I. think that's because Steve and Seline. and I all share a similarity that we. like to work in happy joyess because um. that's your audience and that's you're. going to work. You know, the the big. mistake people make sometimes in show. business is that, you know, I've heard. actors say, "Well, I try to create World. War II on the set. Out of the ashes come. my performance." And what's insane about. that is that's assuming that this film.

or TV show is going to work. Yeah. The. only thing that you can have and keep to. yourself is the experience of doing it. And that's got to be the great fun hang. to go to work. And if not, then quit. I. think the other thing that might I would. assume you've had this incredible career. before only emerged in the building, but. when a hit of this size comes um and. you've already experienced. success, but it's coming at this stage, it you're it's coming at a time when you.

you have a perspective on these hits. like this don't come along. No, no, they're miracles. They're total. miracles. But I must admit. it sounds and I really. mean this that the so I've done so many. things that I've just loved doing and. some of them didn't become popular and. some did kind of and some did and I have. great love for all those experiences you. know some of the things that I mean I.

made this film Clifford and everyone oh. my god you know when it came out Roger. Eert you attacked it on a level that he. never attacked anything. Right. And but. I loved it. So that I think the only. time when a critic gets you the worst. part is when you know it's not good and. they've caught you. You know that's bad. But when you love something. you that experience it doesn't matter. that the film didn't open that weekend. once. You just live with it and love it. the same way you like Only Murders and.

also that endures. I mean that's the. nice thing now is I think uh I have a. saying and I've said this to a lot of. people good work is never wasted and. it's it's one of my religious tenants is. that if you do something that you love. that you think has real value. it will over time it will withstand. everything cream rises to the top cream. rises to the top which is actually. chemically not true uh but u sinks like.

a stone no if you leave it on a few days. it Yeah, I forgot that part. Um, but uh. I think that's I mean that that's when I. think about you, it is I mean I was. talking to you. I've done this before, but you came in and I was bothering you. about your character on Arrested. Development who is thrown by a girl. Jack. Yeah. Who's who's thrown by a. strong man to attack people. And that's. one of my favorite. You're one of those. people where I will could I could sit.

back and think about you and I go like, well, you know, nothing's better than. Clifford. Wait, Arrest Development. Wait, that season on SNL when wait. there's this, there's that. And there's. just this constellation of incredible. work that's all very distinct and. different. And that is a gift to. everybody. I mean everybody in comedy. just any fans everybody I think but you. could say the same thing about Kristen. Wig about Katherine O'Hara Andrea Martin. you know so many people I've worked with.

Christopher guest Billy G I've worked. with the greatest people imaginable yeah. you know and so when you work with. people on that level it's it's a tennis. game you go oh okay I remember the the. first day working with Merryill. and driving to the studio and thinking, hm, I'm nervous today. I haven't been. kind of nervous going to the set for a. long time. I Oh, yeah. It's Harold.

Street. Yeah, I think I forget who it. was, if it was you or maybe it was Tom. Hanks told me that they were shooting a. scene with Meryill Streep and uh they. were in a movie with Meryill Streep and. at one point they wandered over the set. and she was sitting on the couch and she. said, "Can you run lines with me?" And I. think it was Tom Hanks said, "My Streep. has to like go over the lines." He just. thought that she was so amazing. this. oracle. He was and he said he was.

relieved to know that she had to she was. nervous. She was looking. Absolutely. So, the first scene we shot in Only. Murders was a scene where we're at the. piano. and um we're kind of flirting a little. bit and the cameras the first shot setup. is over her to me. So, it's pressureures. on me and then we break down so that. they can reverse the cameras and do her. side. And we go into holding air and she. just says, "Okay, nerves to half." And I.

go, "Wait a second. That I was nervous. You can't be nervous." Okay. This is. this fallacy that uh you were terrified. backstage before we did this. Terrified. I know. Well, I mean, first of all, and I know God, I hate people who. criticize other people, but the your. breath was not pristine. My breath was. not pristine. It was like the breath of. a cougar. Really? Uh, no. No. So, I was. No, I see I do relax completely with.

you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And. I shouldn't but I do. You shouldn't. But. there is a um This is different stakes. You know, I was I remember the first. time we had a dinner. with you and Liza. Mhm. Minnelli. Minnelli. His wife Liza. And you She had just had. a baby. Mhm. Might have been Nev. It was. my daughter Nev. Yeah. And it was 2006. I I know dates like Rain Man is 2006.

October. October. And it was P Schaefer, my wife Nancy, me and you. And I'd done. your show and that was planned. The. first time we had dinner and Liza wasn't. going to come because she just had the. baby, right? But she decided to come. hour before she decided to come and then. at one point she said, "I don't know if. I'm hallucinating this table or if it. exists." Yeah. Yeah. She was uh and I. think she was wearing one of one kind of. shoe and another of another kind of.

shoe. And that was 2006. Yes. I was on. Broadway doing a show. Yes. Yeah. You. were doing Gypsy, I believe. Yes. You. were Gypsy Rose. Why did they do it? I. had a dream. Uh, no. I mean, I have that feeling. still. I think you don't It's a. wonderful thing not to be jaded. And I. have a I have that still if I I have it.

today when I'm getting lots of makeup on. to cover my eye vein. He had so much makeup and and it's. frustrating for her because he smiled. and a hunk fell off and they had to get. spackle in. Yeah. But I'm uh And then. you walk in and I go, "It's Marty." And. I'm it. But seriously, after all this. time, you don't No, I'm very in touch. with the Conan who was 15, 16, 17, uh,

in my 20s, 30s. I'm in touch with that. guy. I think that's very true. I think that. it's when who was famous and meant. something to you whether it's sports or. entertainment when you were 12 and 13. Yes, those are I remember, you know, after now I was on Saturday live and I. was early in the movies and Chris Guest. and Jamie Curtis are friends of mine and. she was having a birthday for her. three-year-old daughter. So this is like. I don't know ' 89 or something. And out.

of the kitchen comes Tony Curtis. And he. looks like Tony Curtis. Yeah. And my. favorite film was Some Like It Hot. Oh. my god. And it's Tony and I I. It didn't matter that Tom Cruz. It. wouldn't have mattered. But who I was. No, I like Tom Cruz. I'm just saying. that. No, no, it's a different thing. It. is. It's when I was 12 and 13. Yeah. Tony Curtis. Yeah. You know, I used to. have that about we would get al-ist. movie stars on the show and then.

occasionally we'd get someone like Don. Knots. Now, I grew up watching Don. Knots. I remembered one of my earliest. memories is my mom would turn on the TV. and leave for a couple of weeks and I. would watch the Andy Griffith Show and. um Don Knots is brilliant and then The. Incredible Mr. Olympic and all those. movies in the '60s and he came on the. show and that meant the world to me and. it didn't me it so that was because I.

connected to him through the TV screen. and that's my situation with you Don Don. KN was probably one of the biggest. influences my life because. I again loved Andy of Mayberry when I. was a kid little Ronnie Howard was on it. but what I loved about Don Knots was the. complete commitment to doing a. character. Yes. And the one thing that I. think is the secret to doing any. character, whether you're even in a. sketch or a movie like Father the Bride.

or something, if it looks like you're. trying to be funny, it won't be funny. But if you make the audience believe. that this person truly exists with all. his foibless and insecurities, because. this is what life is. You go to the. cleaners and I couldn't get the thing. out, Mr. J. That guy exists. He's not. trying to be a character. Right. Right. He's he's a real person. I was at the. sitting in the audience on the SNL 50th. You were brilliant. Steve was brilliant. Everybody I thought it was a wonderful. show. I loved it. The thing that.

fascinated me the most was watching. Eddie Murphy because. he I don't I've met Eddie a couple. times. I don't know him well, but I've. always He's so supremely talented. and. watching him uh he did this scared. straight sketch and watching him come. out and he's just he's not in character, he's not in character, he's not in. character, he's not in character and. then they go three, two, and I saw him. become completely his character. And.

then he did the same thing on the game. show sketch where he becomes Tracy. Morgan. I saw him. They're waiting. He's. just getting and then three, two, and I. saw him at one physically become Tracy. Morgan with his body. Yeah. And I. thought this is extraordinary. the commitment and oh my god, there's a. reason he's Eddie Murphy. Yes. But you. know, uh, one time when I got to go. backstage and say hi to Bruce.

Springsteen because my drummer Max. Weineberg is also in the East Street. band, he said, "Come back and see. Bruce." And I went back to see Bruce. Springsteen. And I said, "That was just. insane. That was incredible." And he. went, "Yeah, you know, I'm still trying. if I can get that m that part. We do. that one song. It isn't quite. So if I. can just" and I thought, "What is he. talking about?" You know, first get that. mouth fixed. Um, you got to push the jaw back. Can I keep. writing him and he won't write back? No, but there's it's a quick Well, it's a. night guard. He just won't wear. That's.

all. No, no, it was amazing. I remember Bill. Hater told me the story that we were all. at, it's 2012 and it was maybe the. greatest stage thing I'd ever seen in my. life. It was Philip Seymour Hoffman and. Andrew Garfield in Death of a Salesman. directed by Mike Nichols. It was 2012. And it was the opening night. You. couldn't comprehend. There was so much. emotion on that stage. You said, "Well, they can't do it again." So, Bill, I was. uh had escorted Bernardet Peters that.

night. And Bernardet sitting beside me. and Bill her leans forward to say. something to me and turns and hears. Bernardet say, "How can they do it eight. shows a week? How is it possible?" And. Bill said, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to. ease drop. I just heard Bernardet. Peter's question. How do they do it. eight shows a week? I'm just lean back. and ignore it because she'd only done 35. Broadway shows at that point. But it is. incredible when you see great artists.

and they're still probably Phil Hoppin. or Andrew Garfield were thinking, "Oh, I. didn't do that moment." Right. Right. And you're seeing something you think is. historic. It's funny because I think. people uh what you said about commitment. it is you have to be a thousand%. committed to the character and I really. feel that if you had kind of done you. know people think well okay that applies. to if you're playing a fellow if you're.

playing in Shakespeare yes I understand. I'd say no no no it's what makes Ed. Grimley funny it it's what I'm serious. is that you are that person. You'll you. become that person and it is deadly. serious to you even if you've got the. crazy hair and you're it's it's but it. it Yeah, because there's another it's. like I look at Jiminy Glick and if I had. to sum him up, I would say a with. power. Yeah, because there is an.

assistant when I order tuna. I do not. expect it to not have Dijon mustard. That's a sin, you know, and she's. quivering and she screwed up the order. I love that idea. And Ed, the idea that. someone gave you a show, you know what I. mean? I mean, you someone said he gets a. show. He gets to interview people. He. became powerful, you know. Uh, and but. Ed Grimley, I remember my sister-in-law. uh was coming to California. This is. 1979. I was doing a TV series and they.

were flying down and she hadn't flown. that much, so it was still exciting for. her. and she said, "Oh my god, I I I I. changed outfits three times trying to. figure out what I would wear in the. plane." And I'd already become jaded. enough that I thought, "How adorable to. be 28 and still that excited by life and. that became an inspiration to Ed Grimley. because so that Ed in a Ed sketch would. be the phone would be ringing. He'd say, "Oh, the phone is ringing." Gee, I love. the phone. There was always such a sense. of mystery, you know,

and uh so you know, yeah, Glick Glick's. thing was he'd reprimand people and I've. had it with you and you think who this. guy that's why if I ever did something. with Ed, I mean with that Jiminy Glick I. would like to do Mr. Glick goes to. Washington. The idea that Glick becomes. a congressman from Louisiana and he's. now in and he's working on defense. I. don't know what it means, but I'm going.

to read books tonight. In the current. environment, it's unless he's on. It's. not in the current environment. It's not. that far back. No, no, it isn't. A good. position for you. That that's that's You. can't believe how broad it's gone. It's. broader than any sketch, any character. that you could comprehend. Right? Because the essence of comedy and. political comedy is to take something. that's seems a little off and then skew. it and bend it this way. But you can't. do that now because you open the New.

York Times and it's Jiminy Glick has. been named Secretary of the Interior. And you'd say and then your job as a. comedian to say Jim Glick. Well, that's. a Jesus Christ. I don't know what to do. with that. I don't know what to do with. it. Absolutely. There's nothing you can. do about it. Um I uh I'm going to let. you go into the wild. You're a man who's. much in demand. Uh I won't let you go. until I tell you that uh if my career. ends today, I will look at a camera. that's not there and say I don't care. I.

know Martin Short. Uh I love you to. death. You're the funniest person I know. and I'm just delighted for you. Really, seriously. Wow. That is right back at. you. and we're going to have dinner. tonight. No, I don't think so. Uh, and I. think given the fact that I, as as as. you people like to say, slept here um. all the way here, um, I think you have to pay for dinner.

just to see what it's like. You know, Conan Conan No, no. Conan is notorious. for never picking up a check. In fact, people think he has an impediment in his. reach. Thank you very much. Thank you. Good to try the beef. Yeah, I don't have. a wallet. Um, Marty Short, uh, go with. God. Go with peace. God love you, Conan. Thank you so much, Martin Short. [Music].

Now, we are going to take some questions. from you, the crowd. Who's ready for. some questions? Raise your hand. She's ready. And Conan, you can sit. You could stand. if you wanted, please. Leave me alone. I. was standing and you told me to sit. Now. I'm sitting. You told me to stand. I'll. sit right here. It's very comfortable. We're all just pals hanging out. Fantastic. So, whoever has a question, raise your hand and and Hopping will. come uh come get you and ask you. Oh my. goodness. Hey, my name is Ally. I am. from Long Island. I'm great. Nice to see. you today. Nice to see you, too. So, um.

I actually won through Team Coco on IG. That is why I'm here. So, thank you. Um, I just wanted to let you know that for. my 17th birthday in 2003, you hosted my. birthday party. What? I know because me. and this beautiful Where did you get. $500,000? Well, that we'll talk about that later. I can help you. No, but no, I'm I'm. really curious what happened. So, my. best friend, this is my best friend. Jasmine and I uh got on a train from. Long Island and went to a taping of The.

Late Night for my 17th birthday. Oh, wow. Yeah. It was March 2003. It was uh. Colin Quinn, the Donna's, and Adrien. Brody. And Adrien Brody. So we There. were Was he still he was starting his. Oscar speech then? Yes, he was starting. He was He was And then we saw him finish. it. Yes. 20 years later. Yeah. Because. it was actually funny when you were. talking about uh people when you were a. teenager who just sit with you and stay. with you. And you are one of those for. me. So nice. Thank you. Um but I just. wanted to let you know that uh you know.

we were teenagers. We were little. scallwags. and we might have uh brought. some alcohol and marijuana into your. studio. I remember that was a very good. crowd. We were so I just Adrian and. Brody was getting laughs that he's never. gotten since that was us. That was a. bunch of So wait, how did you sneak it. in to NBC? Uh we put it in our backpacks. and we Wow, it's really good security. What's in your backpack? Don't mind. Okay. It was like we had like 40s of old. English and no page said anything. I'm.

sorry. Go ahead. I had a backpack with. only a bottle of vodka in it. Yes. Wait. a minute. You weren't just taking You. didn't just You took like a full. functioning bar with you. Yeah, pretty. much. We came out from We're from. Eastern Long Island, so that doesn't. explain everything. We had an hour and a. half on the Long Island. You murdered. I'm from Long Island. I'm from Long. Islands. Um, but I just really wanted to. let you know. And then we also had like. like an ounce of weed with us. We had a. lot. So, you were smoking? We were No, no, no. We smoked a blunt outside of.

Rockefeller Center in the middle of. Rockefeller. You don't remember? I don't. even think you went to my show. We did. We did because you ran past me and your. hair was just blowing in the wind and. there's no wind inside. Well, you made. it. It was There were fans. You were. nowhere near my hair. I was. So, I just. wanted to say you were watching live. with Regis. Um, yeah. So, I wanted to let you know, thank you for a very wonderful 17. Well, I'll tell you this. Your first name.

again is Ally. Ally. Um, it uh it it. does have a lot of meaning to me. I bump. into people on the street and they'll. tell me I was here when you did this or. this or that. And I'm just I feel I. really do feel like I'm seeing an old. friend. So, thank you. And you know. there were years early in my career um. you know there's a lot of people who. uh get very negative about aging and we.

have such a youth uh centered culture. and it's you know it's worldwide but. I've enjoyed getting older because I'm. very happy about my life and you know. I'm very in touch with as I was talking. to Marty I'm very in touch with when I. was younger and so worried about is the. show going to make it? Am I going to. make it? What's going to happen to me? Is this going to be okay? Or is anyone. watching this? So, when I'm bump into. people who are watching way back when, uh, it's really meaningful to me. So,

thank you. You have been such a part of, and I'm going to speak for her, you've. been a part of our lives for 25 years. I'm, you know, so thank you. I was on. for 33, so. I can always find the negative. I can. find the negative so fast. Yeah. I am. the absolute worst, you know. Uh, yeah. All right. All right. We're going to do one more in. here, then we're going out there. Wait, you go. She's got to get two more in. here. Well, suddenly we don't have time.

This is my favorite part. I don't like. Marty. Go ahead. My name My name is Maya. and I actually watched the very first. episode in 93 that came out. I used to. cut school as well from Brooklyn and we. used me and my friends used to come in. and watch it was always Bob Kostas for. some reason. Those were the episodes 93. is all Bob Kost and Al Roker and it was. like Bob Kostas Monday, Alro Rokroer. Tuesday, Bob Kostas Wednesday. Yeah, there was like a Fred Savage in there. somewhere, you know, just like the. A-listers. But um you and actually I've.

waited almost 18 years to say this. My. daughter is named Nev because of the. episode when you came back and I think. Andy at the time was like, "Oh, what did. you name your daughter?" And you said. Nev. And I remember watching I go, "What. a gorgeous name." And my daughter is. 2007 and her name is Nev. And every time. Yeah. And so you've I'm I'm shaking. right now because you have been my my. comedy like legend and I've waited 32.

years to meet you. Well, uh I am uh. listen, we're I'm getting a hug before I. go. I know HR will intervene, but um but. I I will tell you that uh it's so funny. because when I named my daughter, when. Liza and I came up with the name Nev, we. were thinking of names and we came up. with the name Nev. We were really. thinking of there's a the Irish name. Neve. Yes. And the only problem is that. Neve the Irish spell it because they. love to do this. The Irish are such.

ornery bastards. They love they'll be. like, "It's ne. How's it spelled?" N I A. M F K L. Like they'll just throw stuff. in and and there's this theory that they. were doing it just to with the. British, you know, like those bastards. We'll we'll throw consonants and vowels. in there they've never heard of. And so, um, we just thought, "No, Nev." And so, Neve is so clean. And then so many. people are like, "Oh, after Nev. Campbell." And I'm like, "No, but I love. Nev. Campbell. She's great." But we were. trying to do that Neve thing, but we.

wanted it to be Nev. And um yeah, we. were my wife and I are here in New York. to do uh she's got things to do and I'm. doing some stuff for Sirius XM and we've. been waiting cuz my daughter finished uh. her junior year of college and she's. been uh abroad studying since then. And. so I haven't seen her in a long time. and she came to New York last night and. I went down and waited on the street for. her car to pull up and she came out and. I just my wife and I were we've got our.

nef back and that's how it is. You know, it's no different than when I first met. her when she was born way back when and. I'm sure it's the same with you. When. they're under your roof, you're so happy. and the only thing better is money and. real estate. and cocaine. That's a lovely story. Thanks for saying that. One more. Let's. do one more. And stop shutting down the. love, BL. Every What an Hello. So, hello. Oh, so my name is Billy and I.

used to work at NBC and I was there when. you first got your late night show and. it was 1993 and they had a cocktail. party on the top floor of 30 Rock and. you walked out and I was in sales. I was. like you know and I met you and everyone. in the room cuz you were a writer before. that. So everyone in the room goes he is. the next big thing and we were all like. and you were just so gracious to. everyone and everyone loved you and I. have a question. So, I actually have a. question. My question is, you were you. started your career as a writer and you.

were on the Simpsons and and SNL and did. you ever when you first were starting. think of yourself to be in front of the. camera or is it just happened? I did. I. did think about it, but I didn't I knew. it had to be the right way, but I knew. what I wasn't. I knew I was not a. standup, right? I knew that I had. something to offer, but I didn't know. where it fit in in the firmament. And I. really didn't I worked at SNL and I. never once looked at any of those cast. members and thought Dana KBY I could do. that. And then insane events took place.

that could not have been thought of. Um. where suddenly there's this seismic. shift in late night and this is nowadays. they'd never have picked me ever ever. They would have said, "Okay, you know, the world is filled with hilarious. people who've been making things on. YouTube for years, and there's so many. possibilities." Back then it was, "Oh. no, who will host the show if Dave's not. hosting it? We need to turn to an.

expert." And they turned to Lauren. Michaels. And then the whole thing. started. And Lauren looked around, but. he kept seems, you know, and then lo and. behold, I uh I get a chance, which I was. not ready for. But my lesson to. everybody is when you're when your. moment comes, you may not be ready, but. you have to take it and then figure it. out on the way. And my analogy is a. boat, an I a steel boat is leaving the. port and it's leaving, leaving, and you.

know you have to be on that boat leap. Now, there's a good chance when I landed. on that boat, I hit my chest against the. edge of the boat, hit my jaw, fell in. the water, almost drowned, grabbed a. rope, got dragged along, looked like an. idiot, pulled myself up, bleeding, blah, blah, blink. seriously back then about, well, maybe I. should wait till the next late night.

slot opens up for a complete unknown. And something in me said, "You're an. idiot." Well, we're glad you took that. leap. Well, I'm I'm delighted I took. that leap. And I say often, I still can't believe, honestly, I I I was talking to Marty about being. cynical. I cannot believe that that. happened. I still wake up some mornings. and go, "Wait a minute. What? I'm at the. Simpsons. I'm a writer in a dark room.".

And then that happened and it worked. Not right away, but it worked. That's. crazy. It is crazy. So I I you never. know when your thing is going to come. along. It won't come when you want it. It won't look the way you thought it was. going to look. But it I think that's. true for all of us in different ways. So. um incraily lucky to be here and crazily. lucky to have all of you um caring at. all about what I do. So, thank you for.

being a part of this. You I want you to. relax. What's your name? Rachel. Rachel. Uh, how you doing? Awesome. Oh, you're. awesome. That's another hug. I If if you. know, listen, I need to sign forms first. before I hug anybody. But, um, you I'm. so lucky to have you in my life, too. All right. You get that? You get it? All. right. Do you want to take uh We have. hopping outside the fishbowl. Do you. want to take a question from out here? I. love that. I told David you're banned.

from the studio and he chooses. Yes. Let's get someone from outside the. fishbowl. David, do something. Yes. Hello. My name is AJ. I'm from the Lower. East Side. So, okay. How you doing, AJ? Pretty good. Pretty good. Having a good. time. Wow. You seem thrilled. Very. extremely. You know what? The fishbowl. blocks out 80% of the enthusiasm. Yeah. I promise. I just didn't have a long. night last night. But we're we're here. Well, now I want to know about this long. night. Oh, it was. We could talk about. it later. Don't worry. I don't need We.

could have been hanging out with these. ladies. Could have been We could have. been in the same spot. You never know. But, um, so my question, it kind of. builds off what you were just talking. about, um, a bit where I'm around the. age where you would have got your first, uh, late night show. Yep. And I work in. music. I don't make music. I do like uh, social media work and like event. curation and stuff like that. And I've. got to have like good notes of success. Like I've got to make money and I. haven't had to like work for people I.

don't want to. I've been able to do. things on my own. But you start getting. to the point where it feels like a lot. of the other people that started in this. kind of like field with me that are in. my age range, whether a little above or. below, they're starting to like give up. or do something else or they think it's. never going to materialize for them. And. right, I think the things that I do like. objectively are really quality and I. really care about them and stuff like. that, but it's easy to kind of look.

around and start being like, well, maybe. they have the right idea and maybe it is. kind of time to like are you enjoying. it? Do you Oh, I love it every every. single day. Uh cuz sometimes it's not. the like feasible option or it's not the. you know, you went to school for. something, maybe you should figure out. something to do with that, you know? I. think that's everyone has to figure it. out for themselves. And it would be very. pat of me to say don't give up on your. dreams, but. you know there's a.

intuitively knows what the right thing. to do is. They do. There's like a little. person inside you that knows. And there. are people who say, "I'm going to stop. doing this. This isn't right for me. I. think I should pursue this other thing.". And I don't I think it's wrong to say. they gave up because something in them. spoke to them and said it' be like if I. had said I want to make my living. playing uh you know I love playing. guitar and singing rockabilly music and. it's like a hobby of mine. Um but if I.

quit comedy and was doing that and. didn't have any reserves of money or. anything I would um probably at some. point go yeah this is a fun hobby but. this is not what you should be doing. But that's something you know, that's. something that you will figure out. And. I think if you love it and you're able. to put a roof over your head and you can. buy a sandwich, then you keep doing it. if you love it. Because yes, if you've. got a family to support and you're.

making no money on it and your kids are. not getting, you know, don't have. medical coverage, it's not giving up to. say, "Okay, this is this is not. feasible." You know what I mean? But if. that's not the case and this speaks to. you and it's your passion, I say that uh. you keep going because you don't know. where it's going to lead. But I think. there is a pat philosophy which is. pursue your dreams and you too can be. Taylor Swift. And I think well no a lot.

of people can't be Taylor Swift. Uh, in. fact, it's been proven that. uh only Taylor Swift can be Taylor Swift. and she gets to record each song nine. times and you'll buy all of them. Um, so. apparently even she can't be Taylor. Swift. Uh, but in the pursuit of that, you will make other decisions along the. way. So, I don't like the Pat answer, you've got to stick with your dreams, man. Because first of all, that's an. annoying voice. And second of all, I I. think that it's um very personal. It's.

the most personal thing in the world. what you decide to keep doing. And if. you're willing to do the thing you love. and. and be humble about it and realize that. no, I don't need to fly in a private. jet. I don't need a Bugatti. I don't. need um you know fancy huge this or huge. that. Uh I have all those things 10. times over. I drive 10 Bugattis at the. same time. I've glued one to the other.

So, if you see me in 10 Bugattis driving. um wasting fossil fuels, that's just. because I can have it. But that was not. the goal. The goal was I love this and. if I just get to meet Martin Short, I'm. good. And and and pay my rent. And so my. first apartment was a $380 a month. apartment in New York in uh in Los. Angeles. And I drove really awful used. cars that I bought at the airport. But I. was happy. I was as I mean in many ways.

I was it's not like I'm I was miserable. I was happy because I was earning my I. was working with funny people and. writing comedy and paying my rent. So it. doesn't get better than that. It really. doesn't. I mean you add little things. along the way but the the way that my. life has substantially improved is my. wife and my kids. But the other stuff. isn't doesn't make me marketkedly. happier than when I was had a $380 a. month apartment. I was happy then and.

I'm happy now. So that is a fallacy that. that it's all about money still. I'm. glad that I've done so well financially. I think we have time for one more. question out there outside. There goes. hopping. I like that you narrate the. audio medium microphone handoff. Uh, hi. My name is uh Cooper. I'm from Long. Island, New York. I haven't seen you. yet, except today. Uh, my question is, you don't know who I am, do you? Never. heard of you. No clue. Okay, that'll.

work. No. My question is, uh, when. you're on Simpsons and SNL, what was. your reaction when you wrote something. and an actor just completely changed it? I think. they, you know, it's interesting. I. don't think Simpsons was very locked. down. So that that wouldn't happen. And. if someone did change something, it was. for the better. So if you're working. with a Hankazeria or a Dan Castanetta, I. mean, they would they would riff. sometimes. And what they would riff and.

come up with was just better. And I. always like any system where the best. thing wins, you know. And um so if I'm. working on it was work if it was my. script and someone improvised something. and it got into the show good chance it. was better than what I had come up with. So I had no sense of how dare you Dan. Castanetta. Who are you to improvise my. words? I'm 24 and my skin is clearing.

up. Um and I felt the same way at SNL. There wasn't it was very disciplined. the Lauren always um Lauren empowered. writers and so it wasn't the old studio. system that you the thing in the 50s. where writers are just these guys that. you know banging away on typewriters and. they never get close to the stars and. they're people you know abuse them I. I've always been in a system where. writers were empowered so it didn't.

really happen to me that often wasn't. really a thing um and like I say if. someone did change something, it's. because, you know, if Phil Hartman or. Dana Carvey changed something, um, I. wasn't backstage saying that idiot. It. was like, wow. Yeah, I wrote that. Uh, I. just take credit for it. So, that was my. feeling. Awesome. Okay. I I think we're. done. That's it. We did the thing. Hey, we did the thing. Thank you all for. being here. Hugs. Hugs.

Also, I want someone to look through. their bags. Hope you enjoyed this episode of Conor. O'Rob Brian needs a friend sponsored by. Macy's.