Maria Bamford Was A Suzuki Violinist | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

you are constantly I mean just now. you're talking you're analyzing Society. but also yourself but also what does. money mean there's so much that you're. thinking about all the time and it all. goes back to this I want you to say. compulsion yes to. think and consider everything yes and. you talk a lot about OCD and how you've. been battling OCD really your entire. life yeah I mean now it's not so bad. because you know once you find out what. the thing is you know you go to it and. then they go oh that's just that and you.

go oh once you put a name on it yeah. once you put it you take away its power. yeah yeah so. um yeah I have intrusive uh ocds which. usually are taboo thoughts so whatever. is Taboo in your Society you know when. you were a kid yeah you told your mother. yes because it's in the book you told. your mother that you had these thoughts. of harming the family yes and she said. honey it's okay if you're gay. all right well. now you just say oh.

yep that's how that's how a gay person. comes out I'm thinking of murdering the. family and somehow being homosexual was. worse in the 80s than being a serial. killer right right why can't you be more. like Ted Bundy he's heterosexual. now at least like the ladies you say you. say that your mom because you talk a lot. about your mom and you talk about how. she was kind of you think one of the.

catalysts or one of the. maybe moving forces behind you getting. into Show Business totally why my mom. well she loves things that are shiny but. she also and this is something I. realized after she passed I always. thought she had like style like she knew. what was the best thing and now I. realize oh she just choiced chose to see. everything she got as the best so this. microphone is just darling no you can. tell it's quality it's made it's.

handcrafted by someone in the water oh I. love it Conan I love it. I'm a lucky kitty. but that's that's actually a lovely. quality yes and so how does that. translate into you wanting to go into. Show Business well because she was often. distracted which I think may have been a. result of not getting enough calories. but uh you know always sort of like it. needed it needed to have some shine on. it so my sister became a physician that. seemed to get her enough attention like.

oh well my my older daughter is a is a. doctor and she has four children with. her husband. Mark and then you know and then it was. sort of me on my end it was quiet for a. number of years well Maria's just. figuring it out she's just figuring it. out but like oh my God as soon as you. know she has been well the first TV spot. I got was on your show you know that's. in 1999 I think yeah you came on Late. Night Conan she's on television like she.

would just light up about uh yeah. consumer or anything with a. yes she loves status and I've talked. about this I think before in the podcast. but I have this picture on my desk that. someone took when I was at an event it. was my parents it's probably 15 years. ago and it's both of my parents laughing. really hard because I'm on stage in the. picture I'm not in the picture it's just. both my parents laughing really hard and. I asked someone showed me that picture. and I said could I have that and I.

framed it and I keep on my desk because. if anyone ever needs the reason why and. it's very Primal yeah but it is see. those two people that made me laughing. that's why that's why that's the whole. thing and as you know I'm wondering if. it's I'm guess I've in your book you. make it clear that when you get up on. stage and you get that kind of approval. and laughter it does resonate because.

you've felt it before it's when you were. a kid and your parents were going yay. videos for Papa yeah. oh it's just delightful I don't know if. anybody's heard of uh Suzuki violin or. that's a it's it's a way people teach. their kids music and it came out of. Japan and it all is all about if you. teach a kid early enough they can do. anything so you start at two years old. you will have a weirdly you know uh.

talented. whatever it is very unhappy yes perhaps. unhappy dependent times. but you can you know kids can do. anything so so and you talk about this. in the book because you did Suzuki. violin what age did you start three now. whose idea was it your mommy or dad well. they said honey you can do dance or. violin and I didn't really know what. either of those were yeah you're three I. was three so I said why not the V sound. and then uh started doing that no what.

little did I know what she said which I. didn't understand that either she said. you cannot quit and two you're 12 years. old and I didn't understand time and how. how that worked but. um yeah I mean the great thing about. that it kept me off the pipe off the. pole and also uh actually it's something. you could use on the pole yeah yeah and. also something you should start at two. or three yeah yeah to get really good. yeah I mean you want to work out those. muscles on the pole but yeah I mean can.

kids are incredibly malleable and if. they if you look as a parent that you're. pleased at the actions that they're you. know performing whether that's factory. work in a chicken parts uh situation or. they you will do it you will continue to. do it and get better how good did you. get at piano using this method I got I. mean piano violent yeah I mean be funny. if you got really good at the piano. that'd be very strange uh you know. weirdly good where you go ah wow that's.

crazy you know where uh I think I got to. book eight out of ten and I went to the. interlocking Music Camp International uh. music camp did it give you any Joy. not really I did not enjoy it the part I. liked was getting up on stage I like. that part and then um I kind of like the. feel of Victory like if I whooped. somebody like if somebody didn't do well. and then I did well like which is. monstrous and yeah but I I what I liked.

more was uh getting laughs and stuff. because I did some theater and stuff as. a kid and speeches yeah Ira when I uh. in our you know I went to Catholic you. know the whole Catholic rigamarole uh. which is how the that's how the Vatican. likes you to refer to it now and uh. St Lawrence Church Brookline. Massachusetts and and early on they just. noticed that I you know oh this kid. speak enunciates and he seems to clean. up okay you be the one that reads the.

little passages you know from the New. Testament nice so I was a kid and I had. that experience of I'd get up in front. of the congregation and I would read you. know and Luke said to the Corinthians. you know what sayeth you on that day. Jesus and I would read those. and I remembered. this material is no good like yeah this. material is like there's not it really I. mean no I'm sorry it's not funny no it's.

it's and this material doesn't have it. doesn't have the goods and I could sense. sometimes like oh this is a good crowd. because I'd hear the priest before me. you know father Dwyer would get some. laughs and I'd be up there with my. Corinthians and I saith to you and then. the Palms were were you know were cut. down on the sheaves and I'm thinking no. this isn't the right material but okay. church was my first time seeing stand up. I got to see a white guy have a hot take. on a weird story uh you know like it's. it's church is very much like a public.

speaking it's the first thing yeah and. so that was where I got like a little. taste yeah of what it could be could be. good yeah and uh so I understand that. idea of okay you're on stage with a. violin and you're quickly realizing I. don't I don't really want the violin up. here with me well and I did that at. first because I thought well at least I. can kind of make people happy with this. guy didn't really want to bomb but I uh. or yeah people will be acceptable or. except that I'm good at something and.

then then I can hit him with my ideas. and uh nobody wanted that and uh but. then I moved to Los Angeles there were. two other comedians who were female uh. doing uh acts with violence and so I. said to myself I think I I can kick this. to the curb now.