Larry David (FULL EPISODE) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

hey there welcome to Conor O Brien needs. a friend joined as always by Sona. messian hello Sona hi and of course Matt. gorley Hi and um it has been raining. constantly here in Los Angeles and when. people say it's been raining constantly. in Los Angeles it means it has rained. yeah uh and it's it's been actually a. couple of days of uh intense rain that's. made the national news but I have to say. there's an upside to it which is we get. to dress like adults and I'm talking.

specifically to you Matt and to myself. because um I just whenever the weather. is kind of chilly or rainy I love. wearing clothing that's not a T-shirt. and a jean jacket and some sneakers and. it looks like my mom just packed my. baloney sandwich and I'm off to summer. camp so I don't know and I walk in today. and you are dressed like the Old Spice. guy you've got that really cool peac. coat oh yeah and but it's it's it's nice.

to wear it's nice to wear clothing and. there's something about Los Angeles that. infantilizes people you can see like the. most successful person in La walking. down the street you know someone with. like a billion dollars and they're. wearing a ho farted. t-shirt and you know they're wearing. some stretchy pants so they're that they. can do yoga squat whenever they need to. and some big balloon sneakers and you're. like what how old are you I'm 77 you. know it's just you are you picking up on.

any of this I love I think there was a. year once where I wore flip flops every. day for a whole year and when I was in. school and this is this rain. sucks no this rain suck it's great is. great people should be dressing like. they're doing a spy Dead Drop in East. Berlin in 1969 yeah and this is where. this is where so today um I did some. traveling recently and I was in Ireland. and I brought with me this this tweet. suit that I've had for a while uh I'm. not going to give you any grief for this.

no no I know I know I always I always. look it's it's it's common knowledge. that I attack you for my own flaws um. just because uh my self-hate comes out. when I see you and I'm learning vice. versa too but I um that's a nice moment. but anyway so I have this nice uh coat. and these matching pants and I wear them. today and I swear to God I have a. different I feel like uh I'm a teacher. at Eaton yeah like some kind of British. school and it's the late 50s and they're. just kind of.

post World War II rationing is still. going but I've I've got a stiff upper. lip and I'm going off I'm courting the. land lady I'm a. bachelor you know uh yeah you know what. I mean and I'm walking around and I've I. I've got my boots on and I just I don't. know I and it's so ridiculous it's so. ridiculous but and then everyone else is. waiting for please please 72 degrees and. sunny yeah 72 degrees in sunny and this. is what I like I like this move just go.

somewhere else both of you both of you. buy an apartment like in I don't know. Seattle all the time I think about it me. too but you know what the problem is. Seattle all they do is wear fleece it's. all fleece it's all North Face people if. you go to the if you go to the Opera my. wife is from Seattle I've spent a lot of. time in Seattle and I love Seattle but. if you went to the fanciest ball in. Seattle if such a thing existed everyone. there would be wearing big floppy fleece. when I met my wife Liza all she owned.

was fleece jeans and fleece I can't do. modern athleisure it has to be oh my God. wool knit you know what I mean you two. sound so like Upper Crest I need my. tweets I need my can can I say one thing. can I say one thing son you're making us. into stereotypes and caricatures and. that's not what we are let me let me. talk wait a minute let me talk about. this you're doing it I found this. monacle store where you can get you can. get a horn remed mon.

like the one on hog and it's so great. like I don't even need a mon both my. eyes you know it's the same prescription. but um but what I do is I buy two. monocles and I hold them in uh and they. act like glasses but they're they're. even more uh EIT This is highly erotic. do you agree oh highly disagree this is. the least erotic thing I've ever heard. so you want cold weather but you want a. cold weather where everyone's dressing. kind of Posh like Posh not Posh not Posh. we're talking like Irish Pub yeah Irish. Pub exactly this is not Posh we're.

talking about we're talking about Irish. Pub I would I wish I smoked a pipe and I. wish I wish that when I smoked a pipe. and and this is a line from The Simpsons. not a line I wrote but a line that I. really loved at the time when I was. working there um Flanders talked about. how sometimes he liked to smoke smoke. his pipe and he said yep sometimes I. like to fire up the old Brier. and I remember thinking godamn it I wish. I smoked so I could get a big crazy pipe. cuz you know I do bits I could do bits.

with a pencil think what I could do with. a pipe oh my God I would get a big pipe. and I would I would get a very I would. get the tobacco pouch and I would get my. little tool that packs it in and I'd say. well time to fire up the old Brier and I. would Puff on that pipe and then I'd. walk around in my Tweed coat and be just. a dick hey Conan yeah I bought a new. umbrella yesterday no you didn't which. is. it it's extra long so you can use it as. a walking yes yeah have a little wolf.

little wolf's head on I wish what am I. what am I in. heaven on well if you don't have a. wolf's head on the handle then you're in. Hell sir hell I. say uh all right we got to get into. it please please make this end I am. thrilled about today my guest uh is uh. good Lord uh absolutely brilliant. hilarious writer actor and comedian. behind such shows as Seinfeld and Curb. Your enthusiast M the 12th and final.

season of Curb Your Enthusiasm is now. airing on HBO and streaming on Max uh. thrilled isn't the word honored uh just. blown away just uh can't say enough. about this gentlemen so uh delighted. he's here today Larry David let's get. started we can't we're losing all this. good stuff come on start with you. reading that and you can fill in the. blank however you like yeah first of all. who do you think given direction to him.

okay how dare you I come in immediately. you're telling me what to do that's not. how it works okay I'm a boss okay okay. Conan yeah do I have to do this you do. okay you have to listen to him he's the. he's really in charge he puts it all. together okay first of all this is a. surprise to. me you've had a lot of surprises today. you didn't know we were all the way in. central Los Angeles no I did not yeah no. and uh you live quite far away you know.

it's amazing as you start to as the. drive as you as you're taking the drive. how the resentment builds and builds and. builds until finally I you know I'm. coming north up Arlington what what am I. doing here yeah you and I live very. close to each other my company uh this. building is in central. Hollywood. huh no no you can also use this and then. he can do that you see what I'm saying.

there you're you're always coloring. inside the lines and that's what always. kept you back and and by the way I I. think it's important for your listeners. and viewers to know that Conan has. already made not one but two. anti-semitic statements to me personally. yeah keep that in yeah okay yeah two I. was going to try to get to Seven before. the before the hours up try to get to. Seven I had someone made a bet and it. was Jeff Ross actually who said I bet. you get seven in and Adam Sachs is okay.

with it too so two Jewish people of the. Jewish faith have said let's try and get. to Seven I'll keep it tally yeah thank. you very much okay so this is how you. know we traditionally start everyone's. done it you know I don't see why you hi. my name is Larry David and I. feel so so about being Conan O'Brien's. friend that's the energy you're giving. yeah since the minute you walked in so. so yeah you feel so so so so yeah you. have so far you've done is about.

how how long you had to drive to get. here okay uh which I thought was see I. think again again uh you're accusing me. of complaining okay I didn't say kavet I. said yes but still you're you're. treading into an area now I can't. believe that you complaining is. considered an anti-semitic yes it is all. right well is that three is that three. yeah it's two or it's 2.5 2.5 2.5 I.

think to be fair to be. fair Larry I dread this day the day that. you would come in here but most people. do before they see me yeah you're really. uh you're not a good guy I think it's. fair to say right I think it's you know. no I don't I don't think so I don't you. disagree people refer to me as Splendid. that I'm a. splendid I don't know if I'm a good guy. I'm a splendid fellow you're a splendid. fellow I would agree with that I would. agree with that thank you I remember. very clearly the first time I met you.

you uh I was shooting something on the. same lot where you guys shot Seinfeld. I've been doing the late night show for. about two years and uh I walked over. because I saw something was being shot. an exterior was being shot and then uh. you were standing near a table and you. were eating a a sandwich chomping away. like a monster on a sandwich and I got. introduced to you and with a full mouth. you said I never I haven't seen your.

show and you said and I went okay and. you said so I don't know if you're any. good or not God and I and you're with a. full mouth and I said okay and you went. I mean I'm not being rude I'm just. telling you honestly Chomp Chomp Chomp. another bite I haven't seen your show so. I can't say right now whether you are. any good or you're not any good and I. said okay and I remembered thinking I. respect the honesty you didn't sugarcoat. it I I I have to say that does not sound.

like. me that that's much nicer than I think. all right all right all right but you. know what you were my first uh talk show. that's right yeah and you were not happy. about coming on a talk show but I. remembered uh I got you through is the. way I look at it yes you did yes you did. and and Conan uhoh I'll never forget. that I'll never forget. how how kind you are to me in that time.

in your time of need really need yeah. cuz it's it's a you know it's a. nerve-wracking thing your first uh talk. show you know yeah I guess so yeah and. um I was not prepared MH because I. thought when you go on those shows that. you actually you you just talk but. there's research done people have no. idea what what goes into this they see. people on these talk and they think. they're being oh spontaneous and they're.

just talking but they're not they're. doing prepared material yes a producer. calls them beforehand in your case it. would have been Frank Smiley Frank. Smiley calling you and yelling at you. probably Frank Smiley. called and um I was supposed to come up. with some anecdotes I guess but nothing. in my life that nothing ever happens to. me so I there was you had there's not. been one anecdotal moment in your life. exactly there's a terrible dir of. anecdotes so yeah to me the secret is.

once people know you and like you and. they know your Rhythm you don't need the. anecdotes anymore once they knew you. through my kindness of putting you on a. talk show they got to know you they. didn't know you from Curb or from. Seinfeld two shows that had never really. been much viewed but when they saw you. on my show at 12:50 at night I think it. got you. through those were.

for those of you those were loud. swallows that was a swallow and I don't. think that's a terrible thing to do. after after swallow why why why do I. have to curb that. yeah why should you apologize why should. I apologize and you know if they're. bodily functions you you do it you do. you do it I don't I I don't think that's. rude not at all yeah you know people ask. me all the time uh they say to me Conan. you know everyone in the business and I. say thank you and then they say uh Larry.

David is he exactly like he is on Curb. Your Enthusiasm and I say yes he is you. are exactly like that guy you would. claim that you're not quite that guy but. the times I've hung out with you at. parties I feel there might as well be a. camera recording this for HBO oh you are. the same guy you know I take that as a. tremendous compliment yes because you. should cuz I got to tell you something I. love that guy. that.

guy oh my God I am so in love with that. guy yeah really he's he's he's my hero. yeah he should be yeah it must be nice. though because you've carved that out. for yourself and then if people. encounter you in real life you don't. have to in any way contort yourself to. please them yes you can tell them I. don't feel like taking a selfie it's not. really what I want to do right now and. they they're they love they must love it.

and they laugh and they laugh except a. couple of weeks. ago uh I got invited to a dinner. party. and you know 10 five 10 years ago I. would have gone okay yeah okay it sounds. good what's the. address and now this time I said who's. coming oh yeah uh did not go over well.

the the the person was offended the. person seemed to have been a little. offended and uh I W up not going yeah. wow so there you go so there you go so I. I did uh I tried to be Larry and it. didn't work uh but but by the way as. long as we're on the subject is it such. a terrible question to ask who's going. to why why is it such a secret why is. that a secret I don't understand I don't.

understand the big secret you can't say. who's who's. going. why I don't get it yes I think that's I. think you're with I think you were. within your rights to ask who's coming. thank you thank you because you want to. find out also I'm imagining you have. enemies. uh and uh you know you want to make sure. you're not walking into a party I just. made four more as I walked into the. building but you know you want make sure. you want to know yeah yeah I want to.

know it's like a mobster who's going to. a restaurant wants to know how many ways. are there in you know uh if there's if. I'm attacked is there a way out you got. to know exactly because a lot of times. honestly you'll be invited to these. dinner parties and you find yourself s. sitting next to uh some insurance. salesman and you know you're there the. whole two and a half hours sitting next. to him or her whatever yeah it's not. comfortable let me ask you a question. and you I want you to be honest. yeah you came to my house not long ago.

you didn't know who was going to be. there were you pleased were you not. pleased and you can tell me. Well were there enough celebrities to. make you comfortable were there too were. there you know did you feel that it was. a good environment a good ecosystem for. you I need like three Comedians and I'm. I'm fine yeah right right yeah do I. count as a comedian oh Conan Conan. Conan poor con con you poor that's just.

sad just sad don't do this to him come. on yes Conor thank. you well I wasn't sure you know you. seemed happy you seemed uh you seemed. pleased but comedians comedy writers you. know either one whatever but one point I. noticed that you had retreated to a. separate area and you were just. observing you were eating your food and. you were just observing other people as. if you were uh you know looking at Birds. you.

know you were doing little sketches and. I wondered if that's normal behavior for. you well I'll tell you what I don't like. sitting with a plate on my lap right. okay right and I saw there was a counter. there was stools in front of the counter. and I thought this this would be a good. spot to plant myself M yeah and so I. planted and uh it turned out to be a a a. great spot because when people come over. this is what I do at parties by the way. I always sit you can't be in the middle.

of a room making small. talk and and then you're going your. brain is racing you know oh my God oh my. God I'm out I can't I got nothing I got. I got nothing how what what the bathroom. do I have to go to the. bathroom do I have to get a drink or or. I know I'll do TV. Larry I'll do TV.

Larry all right well it's been nice. talking to you yeah and then and then. you move on right I think people know. now that you can't have interminable. conversations they can't go on. forever there's got to be an out there's. got to be an out you know what you're on. a podcast right now how long is this. going to go we may be done and this is. our special 5 Hour salute no but it's. not it's a special 5 Hour salute to. David but I think I think I have an idea.

for parties I have an idea for parties. you have a party Sheriff okay. Y and he he. sits he's in a chair above the party. he's overseeing the party y like a. lifeguard like a lifeguard or or he's in. another room on video and he's got. cameras on everybody like a Pit Boss. yeah like a Pit Boss and he's he's. seeing the conversations he's looking at. him he's seeing how it's going he's.

looking at the body language he's timing. conversations and then and then he sees. that somebody's in trouble and he goes. okay all right I gotta go he goes. down he takes the version by the arm he. goes excuse me this this is. over this is brilliant this is brilliant. I I have to have this I have to have. this I mean this is a great idea it's. brilliant it's fantastic thank you thank. you I love that idea I I think we've all. been there he doesn't even pretend to.

take hey I need to talk to you about he. just no everybody's everybody's aware so. does he flash a badge yeah does he put. up a badge and say this is over this is. over everybody's aware there's a Sheriff. there's a you know there's somebody. overseeing overseeing the Party by the. way I think i''d be a good one it'd be. great I'd like to volunteer oh I could. do that job we need a podcast Sheriff. you could do that I I definitely could. do that job a party sheriff for sure all. right I think I you know I want you to.

do it for me I'm going to set up cameras. okay because I I am a good host I mingle. you probably saw I mingle a lot I get to. everyone I I didn't get the I got like. 13 seconds for cuz I knew I I knew that. you were fine that I was fine yeah yeah. I don't worry about you and then there. are other people I worry about of course. of course you know so I I I probably. short drifted you you didn't get the. full Conan which is I'm told. magnificent I I felt a little on the. Shifty side. there was some shrift uh present yes you.

know working downstairs you and I have. talked about this but uh Mike Sweeney is. working downstairs Mike Sweeney work. worked in the comedy clubs with you and. Mike Sweeney has been with me for almost. 30 years I think not working he just. hangs around um but he's he's a terrific. incredible writer he's been with me. forever but he loves to talk about you. and the clubs oh God and what you were. like as uh as a standup I was very young.

I was man one of my favorite stories. that he tells and I don't want to. mistell it is that you apparently had a. joke that you would do at the top of. your. set which and you would tell the other. Comics yeah if the Crowd Goes for this I. know that it's my crowd and I'll. continue yeah and then if they don't go. for this I'll know that it's not going. to go well and the joke was oh was the. uh the two form yeah yeah I did that. that was the uh did that on the curb. special yep yeah no basically i' go.

up go out to a packed crowd nightclub. yeah Comedy Club I can't even do it. you're making me laugh okay sorry. sorry uhhuh lot of pressure. I like this more than the I like the.

joke but you know. um you see you seem like a by the way. hey you seem like a very good audience. tonight I'm. wondering may I use the twoof form with. you people because I feel I feel very. kind of close to you I feel like I know. you do do you mind if I jump into the. two form and if I got laughs I would. continue I go um you know Caesar used. the two with Brutus even after Brutus. stabbed.

him he said too Brut I think at that. point if somebody's trying to kill you. you don't have to be that familiar with. them right right yeah so I would I would. throw that out there right and and and. Sweeney said that the other comedians. would all come out and they would watch. because they were so fascinated to see. what would happen and their favorite. thing was if the crowd didn't go for. it you became. enraged and you start Bering.

them oh I guess you people I guess you. people didn't take Spanish or French in. high. school you know there's a familiar two. form in Spanish if you if it's kind of. formal but if you're friends with a. person then you use the two. form imagine you're being yelled at cuz. you. uh you and I have talked a little bit. about cuz I worked at Saturday Night.

Live you work had worked there earlier. and cuz your career fascinates me it's a. lot of you're clearly. this incredibly gifted funny person and. it was trying to find and you were very. principled about doing things your way I. know at SNL it wasn't a good fit for you. because you had your sense of humor the. stuff that you thought was funny and you. had a hard time getting stuff on the air. yeah I didn't get uh um I didn't get one.

oh I got one sketch on at that wonderful. 1250 my favorite my that's my that's The. Sweet Spot 1250 yeah that's where I. that's where I used to hang out I love. that yes I had one sketch on the whole. year at one point you just became angry. and quit yes and then famously showed up. a couple days later I pretended the. whole thing never. happened which became a became a. Seinfeld exactly yeah yeah.

yeah you know I was I was Computing how. much money I had I I cost myself enough. money to live on for two years for me. and I go oh boy what an idiot that was. so stupid because I really had a I had. like a hissy fit I went up to dick. abisol and I said this show stinks this. is right before. air this is like week number six and I. had been cut every week and I went up to. him and he had he had the headphones on.

the headset on and I went this show. stinks it's a piece of. I'm done I'm done. here and then you just came back I just. came back now maybe because he had the. headset on he couldn't hear you maybe. yeah um yeah no I came back and I. pretended it never happened yeah. and it. worked I think you did that a few times.

Sona I'm sure I did I think there was a. couple cuz Sona is my assistant and. there were several times where I think. you told me to off I've stormed off. a lot stormed off I'd come in the next. day and you'd be eating zenu chicken at. your desk and watching The Bachelor yeah. and you you completely just didn't even. mention Outburst yeah what you I'm. surprised it didn't really catch on. throughout the country you know that uh. after I told the story yeah hey this is. a way I could tell off my boss. and then come back and keep my job right.

yeah I would think because of the shows. you've worked on or created Seinfeld and. then curb those are shows where. everybody thinks they have a good. episode everybody would anybody can come. up to you and say you know when you're. at the gas station and you go to clean. but there's no towel there to wipe off. the squeegee and I think that's a thing. that happens to everybody and shouldn't. that happen to Larry and you have to. what do you do because you must get that.

constantly I go I go let me stop you. right. there I'd like you to meet the pit. Sheriff there should be a pit Sheriff. too yeah I go let me stop you right. there you know um I'm not the writer's. Guild for bu to hear ideas from from. other people so um I I'm I'm sorry you. I'm sure it's a great idea but I I can't. I can't hear it right yeah and does that. work that doesn't work know works okay. it's pretty good what doesn't work um.

the. pictures because uh you know you're on. the street hey there's a fan want. wanting to take a picture and so. I so I I thought oh I I tried something. new and I. said you know. what I can't I can't take pictures. outside. wait what what a vampire yeah I said you.

know there's there's people I can't take. pictures outside um and then when I was. inside I would say to people you know. what I'm not I can't take. pictures and uh how's that working for. you it you know it started out okay and. then I I I sort of couldn't get through. it without laughing so.

because I realized how stupid it was but. you know people actually people actually. bought it I go you know I can't take. pictures. inside did you uh there's something. about your past that doesn't make sense. there's a lot of things that do make. sense but I didn't know that you were in. the US Army Reserve oh yeah and I cannot. imagine you in any situation where. people are telling you this is how you. must behave and this is what's required. it it really tough I just can't imagine.

you uh falling into line you did that. for a couple of years right I was in the. um yeah I was in the reserves to avoid. going to Vietnam I'm kind of old you. know oh yeah yeah no I know um I know. we'll bring that up second that's my. next question you seem very old to me. that's my next question which isn't even. a question I'm realizing none of these. are questions these are just statements. yeah so um yeah I was in I was in the uh.

the reserves to avoid. Vietnam and. um I was in it I went to basic training. I had uh occupational specialty school I. was I was a petroleum storage specialist. by the way oh there you go yeah yeah so. then I had to go to meetings once a. month for um the next six. years and to go to the the meetings were. near my parents apartment Brooklyn and I. was living in Manhattan so once a month.

I would go home and I had a. big uh I think the word was at the time. uh. jro now you have that's do I tell you. this no no no now that's he has one. anti-semitic comment okay to my 2.5. score is one to 2.5 this is anybody's. game. wow I'm excited I can't believe we're.

competing I got this now I want. this so anyway I would stay with my. parents for the weekend and I had a wig. and I would wear the wig and I was doing. this once a month and then in the summer. there was a summer camp that you had to. go away for two weeks so all these guys. uh were in my unit and then I heard. about a a psychiatrist who was writing. letters uh for like. $250 and so I went to see him and I. talked to him for you know 45 minutes.

and he wrote me up this letter and the. letter basically said that I was. crazy and uh I took the letter and this. is I'm in for two years now so I know. all these people imagine coming to work. and acting insane yeah which is what I. did I had the letter. [Laughter]. where's where's where's the major.

where's the major I need to talk to the. major so they did it work I I saw. friends these are friends of mine I. socialize with these people I see them. all huddled together pointing and. looking what's pointing at me what's he. doing what's with David what look at him. look at. him and then I I I went to see the major. and um and the major was reading the. letter and he he's talking to me mhm I'm. answering his.

questions and after five minutes he says. to. me can you drive home oh my god wow what. and I swear I said this line way before. Dustin Hoffman said it in that movie I. said oh yeah I'm a good driver I'm a. good. driver and that was it and I got out. good for you yeah do you still have that. letter you must I don't think I do yeah. we'll find it.

yeah we uh but quite a I have to say. tremendous performance on my part yeah. tremendous I can tell and here it was. spectacular yeah it's really good good. lighting and everything yeah you know. it's because you were also the job I can. imagine you having which you did was you. were limo. driver for a while and I don't know if. you ever did this but this has happened. to me many times where I go to the. airport and I get picked up and my wife.

and I are in the back and we're chatting. and then out of nowhere the driver says. well I have a cream for that you know so. they've clearly been listening it's like. your phone when it knows you've been. talking about maybe I'll get a maybe I. should go buy a new camping tent and. then your phone suddenly suggests you. know REI is just a block and a half away. and it's this Eerie feeling right right. were you a listener would you listen in. and and interject their their. conversations really weren't interesting. enough yeah yeah she was an old woman. she was practically blind she could see.

a little bit right and I took complete. advantage of. her because she couldn't see she didn't. know if the car was filthy or not and it. was. filthy so she I I would hear from the. back seat is the car. clean I go yeah yeah spotless. car yeah yeah always means not true. that's a giveaway and she said to me you. got your hat on. cuz I had a chauffer's cap sure yeah I.

said yeah yeah I got the I got the cap. on yeah I got the cap. on and. then and then one of her one of her. friends squealed on. me who would do that she saw she saw the. car the condition of the. car it was a. doson. she's she saw the the car was and she. squealed on me and um and that was it I.

I got I got fired yeah I didn't know. that you studied history because I. studied history I love history and I. remember I talked to people later on who. wanted to get into comedy and they would. say well I I'm studying comedy or I'm. and I would think or I'm studying. Communications and I would think no no. no you don't need to know stuff I mean I. love history and I've used it it's I. don't know how how come into it but it's. felt like it's helped me a million yeah.

and it's been like a lifelong passion of. mine but I read history and then I feel. like that fills up my comedy well. somehow I don't know how I can't explain. it I completely agree with you I'm I'm. really happy that I major in history and. not Communications or any of that stuff. you know people like if they want to be. an actor or they or comedian they they. they take it so seriously like they're a. there's no class can't there's nothing. to learn you either you can do it or you.

can't I think right that's the that's. mostly how I come down on it I think. there I think you can you can improve. and you can you. can you can hone your skills but I swear. to God skills if you're yeah because. you're doing it you're practicing 90% of. what I do I was doing uh in around my. kitchen table in a big family in in. Boston or with my friend. uh and then it's just been heightened.

and indulged by enablers all around me. but it does feel to me like that's most. of it yeah I guess I I would never want. to be in a comedy class to hear those. forced laughs i' I'd rather just go up. on on a stage and and do it because all. you know those people that they're just. going to be forcing their lefts you know. like everybody he just. do and and I got to say I I don't even. mind it I can hard tell the difference. they're very good in fact I'm reversing.

my my my old opinion on this. yeah they're very good yeah really you. guys are the best fake laughers I've. ever been around I don't know how you. avoid that because there's a lot of at. sitcom table reads and sketch comedy. table reads I think I was lucky because. on the all the years I was doing late. night we were pretty brutally honest. about things and uh people were very. happy to tell me they thought that. something I was had thought of wasn't a.

good idea they really enjoyed that and. and then every now and then I would see. I would visit someone who was working on. a. sitcom and I would see they're reading. the script for like the fifth time. you've seen this phenomenon I doubt it. happened at Seinfeld because whatever. you were doing there was right but. there's this phenomenon. where uh you're being a good person and. a good sport and you're helping Grease. the wheels for the whole project like.

you're being a good member of the. Communist party if you laugh right and. so you're it's the fifth time a script. is being read and people are. like you know and uh I found it. really upsetting for lack of a better. word honestly I don't think we ever did. I'm you know I'm a modest fellow you. know that I I'm not a it says it on your. jacket I I'm I'm not a bragard no no. there's no bragado doio no I don't go on.

about myself not at all but um I I don't. think we ever did like a second read. through we did the one read through and. if it didn't work we would fix it and. then we wouldn't have another one we. just do the show so I really don't know. what the you're talking. about you go well do you know what I'm. talking about. outside of of uh the the projects you've. worked on have you seen this AB. absolutely abolutely yeah no the um yeah.

you're right you're not you're not. you're not helping the project by. laughing right but what do you do in. situations I'm sure this has happened to. you tons of times where you'll be given. a friend will give you a script yeah and. then what you have to of course you have. to read it and then if it's not any good. what do you. do you say I can't read a script indoors. well we'll step outside and today isn't.

a good day to step outside well it's a. it's it's it's difficult sometimes to. come up with exactly the right wording. for it that's why texting is good. because you can do a few drafts until. you get till you get it right I think. rather than rather than running into on. the street hey did you read it. yeah it was fantastic. yeah uh yeah I I I I I don't know I can. usually find con constructive criticism.

that I can make about something but I I. wouldn't be able to say like well this. just isn't funny I can't say that. because that's not how does that help. the person in anyway but also sometimes. you you're given something to see or. read after it's already locked and. there's nothing you can do nothing you. can do nothing you can do so you have to. go oh yeah this is great what are you. going to do right so you got to lie. right I've been in a few screenings with. you. yeah interesting yeah and now.

I'm you and I have been together when. things were screened before and it's. been interesting to watch you you always. have. oh yeah I think I I think I know what. you're you're very good you're very good. very very very. good uh I I could maybe we could without. mentioning well I think we can this I I. love this story but you go and see a lot. of things I go and see a lot of things. there have been a couple of times where. I've seen something screened and you've. been in the room and we saw one thing.

and it was it was long it was very long. it was a it was a it was a a studio. movie yeah Studio Movie it was very long. and so we see this Final Cut of this big. budget Studio Movie when we were both. there and there was someone there taking. questions and uh who worked for the. studio and they wanted feedback and I'm. I'm eager I I'm always think I I I don't. want to look like a dick I don't want. them to see who I really am so so I will.

uh you know what am I going to do and. man this is getting late and I really. want to get out of here and you did this. thing where the the thing ends lights. come up and you immediately shot your. hand up and you said no wait but there. were a couple of questions before I did. that yes one or two questions you shot. your hand up and you. said I have one question and then I got. to go and as you asked a quick question.

and as you were asking it you were. putting your down jacket on you put your. down and so you said I've got one. question and then I have to go and I'm. looking at you and and I looked at him. we made eye contact we made eye contact. and I saw the admiration and envy okay. okay so. anyway so anyway uh he's this the the. studio person's answering the question. question as you leave and you go I think.

you're right I think you're that's a. good point and you're like bye and you. left I was there for another 45 minutes. while people were saying um you know. when the aliens come to the other planet. it wasn't quite clear and uh so you. might want to in post and. so I was you know I I leave and and and. the next morning I wake up and my phone. is right by my bed and um and I turned. it on and there's a text from Larry and.

it says quote I have one question and. then I have to go quote and then it says. how genius was that exclamation. point qu question mark and then it says. You must have been so. jealous so the next more you knew you. went to bed that night with your covers. tucked under your chin thinking I made. O'Brien I left him in the.

dirt I have to say it was it was such a. proud moment for you yeah I was so. thrilled with it because it was so. brilliant yeah it was just such a great. move boy sometimes sometimes it's like. writing sometimes you're in a corner. right yes and you got you have to write. yourself out of this yes and that that's. that's what happened yeah and and and I. think it made it feel all the sweeter. that I had to stay late I think that you. have to admit that was the cherry on the. suay was the cherry on the Sunday yeah.

yeah that was that was great it would it. wouldn't have been nearly as satisfying. if you weren't there um you are wrapping. up curb this is the last season oh oh. yeah is this news to. you oh oh yeah oh boy you're regretting. it you can always you can come back and. take you can just pretend you never told. them this is the last yeah you should do. you know you should do a whole last. season salute get all the love get all.

that love gravy all of that this was a. benchmark show what a landmark you know. what a it changed everything and then. come back and do another three more. seasons you're really great on the. callbacks by the way I think this is. your second or third it's my ninth yeah. it's your ninth it's great okay we'll. tally that yeah yeah last one of the. things that I think. uh one of the things that because my son. really got into curb and we started. watching them again and I thought uh.

intentional not intentional but your. style of Comedy it so. fits uh younger people today because. there isn't there aren't laughs on it. it's a lot of. reaction uh it's things are played very. real and I think it's one of the reasons. why it endures so well as I think it I. could talk to probably like a 15E old. who would say I love that show which I. think I I think when they look at even.

some you know great great shows shows. that I absolutely love they maybe have a. laugh track on them uh and were shot. single camera their or multicam their. interest in them has diminished a little. bit because this is the style they like. now do you think there's anything to. that yeah absolutely I think. um the multicam started I it's such an. old format it started in like the early.

50s right yeah so I Love. Lucy went all the way to the two I guess. there's still shows like that but. um. the this show is improvised and I think. that lends a sense of reality and. spontaneity to it yeah that um the young. people enjoy well I think there's also I. can remember when I was growing up. I accepted it but I'm still I'm watching.

Happy Days and a character enters. there's massive. Applause and the fs has to wait yeah and. we just accepted that well krer used to. get Applause when he would enter that's. right that's right and so everybody. would wait and and then he would start. talking and then. finally um I think we had to tell the. audience not to applaud when he came in. right and we put a stop to it but that. but no one else would put a stop to that. what I'm I'm saying is that was so.

encouraged that it got to a point in the. 70s and ' 80s on sitcoms where. characters would come in with important. information like the you know the tests. are back and uh and it's fatal and the. character would come rushing in and. people go like whoa look it's Dr. cuckoo and occasionally and you'd see. those characters would have to kind of. Nod and look out. and then by the way the tests are back.

it's cancer of the spleen you will not. survive you know and you're like this is. madness but we just there's the things. that we I think I knew on some level. this isn't good even when I was a kid. but um also there are scenes that are. outside and there's an audience laughing. yeah yeah where where's the audience. where are they what are they on the. corner. it's crazy yeah I I I feel like there's.

the other thing is uh that there's such. a emphasis on jokes jokes jokes and I. knew that because really the only show. like that that I had worked on was The. Simpsons with there was we worked so. hard on jokes having to be just going. over and over and over to get the best. jokes and then you you find that and I I. love that format and I love working on. that show and think it's brilliant but. the on your show what I loved it's that. old Jack Benny thing the biggest laugh.

can be on a reaction I mean so many of. your laughs are reaction shots which to. me is something that we maybe lost along. the way you know what I mean it's it's. like Buster Keon it's it's the the. classics the stuff I always love was the. comedy where you were playing it. real and so much of curb has. been your utter disappointment and. dejection or embar embarrassment or. indignation and those are my favorite.

moments which aren't the writing has set. it up but it's you wouldn't get it if. you didn't see it I mean the other thing. um well that it's nice of you to say I. think it's the first compliment you've. ever given to me in our relationship so. it really it means so so much to me so. much to is it the first thank you I. think it is the first from the bottom of. my of my. whatever this.

ised I'm told been told I have a you're. like the Grinch now I. know are you listening to. hille but the Larry David the thing. about the three camera show the yes the. jokes tons of jokes they're coming at. you one after another there are there. are people in rooms um there are writers. in these rooms till 3:00 in the morning. punching up scripts joke after joke. after joke and they tell the joke and. the character says the joke and nobody.

ever laughs nobody ever laughs in these. shows which is odd because if these. things are so funny how come nobody ever. laughs right right well they don't laugh. because laughing is the hardest thing to. act I think and be real that and drunk. I've always told been told yeah being. drunk is I don't I don't. know okay sorry. I got to got the out of here sorry. I I didn't mean I just wanted to tell.

you that you weren't quite. right is it a big surprise who's on the. final season is it a surprise oh oh wait. a second wait a second have I been. sitting here this whole time have we not. acknowledged that this man whoa this man. right here. Conan thanks thank you. this guy is in the show this year yes.

he's he's a guest star I might be one of. the reasons It's the final SE in the. bottom of the barrel. huh and and he gave me a compliment. before and and I know I know you think. oh well he gave me a compliment now I'm. going to return the compliment he was so. so. yeah no it was great it was great we had. a we had a great time he was uh you were. very good and uh thank you for doing it. well sure I was compensated the only.

reason I'm here today. actually it's a it's a Tit for Tat and. uh I had to do I had to do the tat he. did the tit and I had to do the tat I. always do the tit yeah you always do the. tat yeah and I don't like being a tat by. the way you should it's not. uncomfortable being a tat much rather be. the. tip such a stupid I'm sorry. let's take that out of. context H I am enraged because we talked.

to fans on this show and I did talk to a. fan oh yeah and this really stuck in my. craw and I think I've mentioned this to. you but I need to bring it up here in. this. forum uh a young woman who's big fan of. mine and she was talking about you know. she's unlucky in love she's looking for. the right kind of guy and she she wants. someone who's funny she wants this she. that and I said what kind of person you. look for and she said well you'd be. really good but you're too old and I. went okay that's you know this woman's.

in her 30s and I'm 60 and I said I I. completely understand that and she said. but Larry. David I like Larry David and I uh I. became uh a wild beast I. started shouting at her you know what. are you talking about I said Larry David. could have technically driven me home. from the hospital as a baby I think he's. 15 to 16 years older than me and I I I. couldn't shake it she was like no you're. too old but the ladies like their Larry.

David I hear that all the time of. you H all right I won't even try to. explain it but uh it has been a uh an. honor to have you here um I say that. knowing that uh you'll make a face but. uh just an absolute thrill to talk to. you and it was it was a big deal for me. to get to be in that episode so because. uh like everyone I adore your work so.

there you go anded on a nice note. there's nothing you can do about it. well I had. a I had a wonderful. time I want you to do my. eulogy like a first. date a peck on the cheek I might get a. peck on the cheek I I had a wonderful. time and uh honestly. I I hope we can do it. again Ask him upstairs ask him upstairs.

we will never see this man again that's. that's one of the old time you'll never. see him again yeah thank you uh this was. great thank you Conan here and uh I'm. just going to say this is a special. segment yes it is because we are joined. by my wife Liza Powell O'Brien and. everyone far prefers Liza to me yep that. is pretty much true right oh so true. everyone says to me when they meet Liza.

she's fantastic yeah and the emphasis is. on that she is the one who is fantastic. yes and I'm tired of it so we're going. to I'm going to cut I'm you going to do. oh I'm going to cut this one down to. size you brought her on the podcast to. do this yeah how are you. betrothed I feel like if I was around. everyone as much as you're around them. they would the balance would shift back. no nope absolutely not I don't think I I. can say that with confidence I don't. know you but I know.

him you know lies a bit don't I chose. him so what does that tell you that's. true that's true of all the men in the. world you chose this one they were all. at my dispos they were all at your. disposal everyone Matt Damon they were. all lined up Matt Dam I don't know it's. just then I'm thinking of him of course. from Team America I'm not. Damon anyway let's pull this thing. together because. Liza likes to spend as little time with. me as possible and so the fact that.

she's here means there's a reason and uh. I am very proud of the fact there are. many things you do that I'm very proud. of uh but uh your tolerance for me is a. great source of Pride but um you have. made this podcast that uh I think is. stunningly good I love it and I'm not. just saying that many people really like. this podcast it's called significant. others and we thought this was a good. time to talk about it because it's. Valentine's Day you know you're so in.

love with. me I do appreciate being recognized for. that it's your greatest achievement is. your love for me true it confuses. everyone no and your podcast uh though I. wouldn't describe it as a romantic. podcast but it is about couples uh. coup's Dynamics significant others how. they sometimes it's a husband and wife. these are famous couples sometimes it's. it could be a father daughter there's a.

power Dynamic and how that all works. sometimes positively sometimes. negatively often positively and. negatively is that a fair description. yeah it is I think you're right that. it's not romance is not at all part of I. mean sometimes there are romantic. stories but mostly there're stories of. um sort of complicated Partnerships yep. um which spoke to me I don't know why. well it's so funny cuz you I often.

contrast your podcast with mine uh ours. is is seed of the pants um absolute. nonsense Liza Works uh I'm always seeing. her pretty much uh in her study in her. small study uh that is often also. occupied by several cats that Hate Me by. the way but you were always in there. reading like 60 books studying crafting. these episodes you get very cool people. to do the voices you also use a bunch of. the people here at Team Coco and you.

really make these things beautifully and. uh then I'm also a little put off that. you have a fantastic podcast voice that. is far superior to mine I don't know why. I I'm the one who's doing the podcast. first because your voice is so terrific. nice thank you you know you've. influenced me because season one I love. season 2's premiering I haven't heard a. bunch of these yet and I know that. you've been working on them but I uh for.

example Jenny and KL Marx Carl Mark's. wife and what their relationship was. like and because you were doing all this. research when you were done with one of. the books I read it I had never read a. book about Carl Marx uh and his. relationship with his wife Jenny but. that's a husband and wife team uh where. you can really see how as a couple they. worked with each other then there are. other teams like Billy strahorn and Duke. Ellington tell us about that Billy.

strahorn Duke Ellington was um I think. has been referred to as the first Great. American composer he was just. unbelievably talented and you know. forget the fact that he was um you know. violently discriminated against his. entire life but even outside of that his. accomplishments are spectacular so he. kind of had this Empire almost of of. music and he had all of these different. he had different versions of his band.

and he was touring all the time and kind. of stretching himself really thin and he. he met this kid named Billy strahorn who. was 21 who had wanted to I don't want to. give the whole story away um but he had. wanted to be a concert pianist and he. was a prodigy he was incredibly gifted. used to play the piano in the um he he. and his family lived in a boarding house. and uh the prostitutes who lived next.

door um had a piano and he would go play. on that and earned sorry I know and. earned earned enough money when he was. quite young to buy himself piano lessons. anyway so he got into this Conservatory. in in Philadelphia and his dream was to. be a concert pianist and and he was. basically told you can't because you're. black so he was looking for other ways. to express his Musical abilities anyway. he auditioned kind of for Duke Ellington. and Ellington was like oh this guy is.

special and um what strahorn could do. was he could play in the style of anyone. so he could play in the style of Duke. Ellington and then became his sort of. standin his band leader his collaborator. he um wrote a ton of music for him. including the anthem that I think most. people think of when they think of Duke. Ellington which is Take the A. that was actually a great story amazing. iconic so anyway and he was um he was.

gay and he was very determined to live. openly and so he was um which at that. time is unheard of it was it wasn't. entirely unheard of but it made it very. difficult for him to be a star in his. own right because that was still um a. disadvantage so wow um anyway so that's. a really that's a great I mean listen. there they're what's interesting is I'll. often know one of the names but not both. right and then uh like Benedict Arnold I.

know that name you did Ben Benedict. Arnold and Peggy shippen I had heard a. little bit about Peggy shippen uh that's. a fascinating Story how those two work. together in positive negative ways I. love that you cast as Benedict Arnold uh. you you cast Andy. RoR which resonates me resonates with me. in so many ways the series opens up so. many different great ideas about how. people uh help each other also can get.

in the way um and how it's a dynamic. everything's a d a dynamic yeah I mean. we talk a lot about how that idea of. perhaps and that. um uh is it a Coan there's a like. there's some there's some piece of. ancient wisdom I don't want to. misdescribed um that talks about how. everything's basically dependent on how. you frame it so right this thing. happened it's tragedy at the same time. maybe it prevented something else from.

happening that would have been worse and. um I think these stories are all about. that kind of uh this is the worst. matchup ever although they did help each. other in this way and right right I just. think that makes it more interesting and. more true I think it's. really it's really human to want things. to be simple and I think there's a lot. of over oversimplification that happens. all the time especially now and this um. kind of doesn't allow for that these.

stories allow for a complicated. narrative but you listen to them and. they're great stories and I come away. and I sort of wanted I always want to. know more about you know I mean the nche. one B me that's such a great one. Elizabeth forer n and friederick n and. she was really you know the a lot of. this I owe to the books that I do read. that you know there's usually some take. by the off for author that's really. helpful and and the one that I really.

appreciated with that was that um you. know his big thing was all about this. will to power that like you're supposed. to will yourself into the best version. of yourself that you can be and she. really embodied that in a way that was. terrifying and um she was incredibly. ambitious and he was he's been. misunderstood a lot I think and I'm not. claiming to be the one who understands. him best at all but he was anti. nationalist he didn't believe in. statehood he had lived through war and. thought it was abhorent and he is you.

know his sister marri's a an anti-semite. who's trying to found a pure racist. colony in Paraguay he thinks that's. disgusting he stopped speaking to them. and then by the end of his life he was. so incapacitated that she finagled away. to become his um you know caretaker his. minder his power of attorney all of that. and used him kind of as a prop that she. would walk people past and she was. hanging out with fascists and Hitler.

this what you're this is what you're. gonna do to me I cannot wa I'm picking. up so many good. pointers many I plan on becoming. incapacitated and I know Liza is just. going to. becom more. incapacitated but what I'm saying. is I don't always ask you to carry me to. the toilet but um you don't always ask I. don't always ask sometimes I should. anyway we got off track my point is I.

love your podcast and I'm not saying it. because you're making me which you did. no she's got a gun. um that begs a question season 12 Conan. and Liza episode yeah that episode well. that's the one where I'm in a wheelchair. M incapacitated this is months from now. and uh Liza is bringing people by and. she's promoting me as a great. nationalist figure. um all those great aphorisms that you've.

recorded they're usually involve. nonsense words exactly don't be a jibble. when you can Bibble yeah uh I be who I. be there was a big refrain last night it. was a lot of I be who I be please no one. needs to know about our private popey. and changing you try singing that to the. Game of. Thrones we were rewatching Game of. Thrones and I insist on singing loudly. My Own lyrics which is I be who I be and. I be and Li is like you've got and my.

son is like if you do that again we're. not watching this that's the. significant other and then I be who I be. be so now they don't even watch the. openings anymore as beautiful as they. are uh we watch it for the nudity anyway. um ruin things I am a Ruiner you're. you're you're a Ruiner uh but anyway I. love that you've gotten everyone at at. Team Coco oh my God we'd be lost without. everybody bla Eduardo hopping Erica. Brown hay chills they've all read lines.

for the episodes Erica Brown no really. you got Erica Brown on a micophone she. refuses to do a microphone but she does. it cuz she likes Liza oh my God I can I. don't think I can ever ask her for. anything again I think I used up all of. my credit with her for the rest of time. oh my God she did not enjoy the. experience but she sounds great yeah Ted. dansen was here recording something and. nicest man I've ever met he's right up. there with me tall drink of water too. easy on the eyes yeah I know still got.

on television for a long. time both of us know what it's like cool. the coolest guy I'm a good bartender. anyway what. uh I was on Cheers I know I was anyway. uh you got him helping out it's just. great I'm very I'm very excited about it. it uh premieres uh on Valentine's Day. and it's called significant others and. that is you that is Liza Powell. O'Brien run in the.

show is that another one of your. aphorisms that is you that is you that. is you says I that makes more sense than. most of them you that's what I would say. and so now someday we'll do one about. your significant other Tech yeah love. that would it be about him and how I'm. his about his like love for like karate. and stuff are you going to the whole. thing about Chernobyl are you going to. make it like a fake one why it's not my. thing it's. sorry will you tell the story you texted. me yesterday I thought that was great my.

god well yeah so he went on he's going. to hate me for saying this but he went. on like an intensive karate weekend. which they do twice a year and always is. in different places and this time it was. in Pasadena which is 10 minutes from our. house and he takes it so seriously that. instead of coming home and sleeping. because there's no room in the gym he. slept in his car for two nights and in. the middle of winter to be close to the. dojo close to where they were practicing. but I think oh he's so having an affair.

yes oh my God every time I tell Liza. I've got an intensive karate weekend she. knows I'm meeting. Muriel on Catalina you know what it's. actually it's worse if he's not I know. you know what I mean know yeah he is. though cuz I've met all his karate. friend I mean it's possible I would I. think I'd feel better if he was having. an affair I'm already thinking that's. what I mean got these are very uh these. are very beautifully crafted historical.

documents that you've made they're. really great they're really great to. listen to you walk away from each one. learning more yes but I do want you to. take a break from that and do one about. Sona and Tech it's about him sleeping at. his car on his quote on his on his quote. karate. weekend sorry just and it's in there and. it's no and it's in there with you know. all these other great Figures it's in. there with George putam and Amilia. arhart and Martin Luther King. Jr T and Dolly T and Sona yeah karate.

weekend I know but you know what I did. see his SUV he had a whole setup in the. back of his car that's what I do when I. go to Catalina to meet Muriel I put a. bunch of karate wait how are you getting. your card I own a c plane okay fine I. have two different sets of books you've. never have two accountants you've never. seen it Liza is not even angry she just. wants to know the logistics of how you. do it we have talked about this which is. Saida which is that you know if you ever. found out that I was having an affair.

wouldn't your first thought be to be. kind of impressed at my time management. skills cuz that's all I ever think about. when I watch movies where someone's. having an affair I'm like what yeah I. couldn't keep all that straight yeah. it's true I couldn't yeah all that. that's I you know what I mean we we are. like just barely hanging on with our. very basic we are very committed to each. other monogamous relationship but but we. can barely more than enough we can. barely keep it going because there's.

like oh wait who's picking up our son. wait but when are we going to the. airport there's all that stuff who's. taking the dog to the and then the idea. threw out the manise a big one the other. day man I was and also I think it hadn't. expired but anyway I wanted a tuna fish. sandwich with mayo and suddenly there's. no mayo that didn't go well but my. significant other said I'll make you. some and she made me mayonnaise from. scratch that's a win-win yes and it was. better than the regular mayonnaise wow.

so anyway that was a win-win but this is. riveting I can't wait to hear about this. on your episode but wait a minute what. I'm saying is if on top of all of that I. had to get on the uh C plane to Catalina. to meet Muriel and bring her the you. know whatever the avocados she loves to. eat who can keep track of all that. very diverse chased in women yes that's. and you know what you know what she's. really.

unpleasant we got yeah why are you late. I had to because I was doing a podcast. where I was promoting Li why are you. promoting her podcast why can't I have. one hey is that my. avocado CH and she's super old and. there's nothing sexual about it she is. 82 years old oh that's sweet. yeah she was a nurse in the Korean War. anyway. as stupid as this podcast is I know I'm. sorry I'm gonna say this I'm I'm so.

proud of you I love you I'm so proud of. you and I think this is an incredible. piece of work so I'm excited about the. new season significant others wherever. you get your podcast season two. premiering on Valentine's Day subscribe. where you get your podcasts.