John Mulaney & Conan Were Attention-Seeking Children | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

let's talk about uh subjects that are. near and dear to our heart uh I'm a. massive fan of you and your that's. niceic stylings thank you Conan I'm a. massive fan of yours. uh I am there's no other way to do that. an ill Ed wow um cuz you. you. you're um oh my God who said oh my God. was that you no I was drinking water and. I'm not that but you're a very good. ventriloquist.

uh you talk about so many themes that I. can relate to and I'm not going to. mention any specific projects cuz we're. not doing that now we're not going to do. that we're not going to do that but I've. seen you uh live many times and so many. times you so beautifully and perfectly. and hilariously capture things that I. talk about and one of the things that. you've talked about some is when you. grow up in families like ours uh in. birth order the need for attention and. the things that you will do to get. attention 100% And I was watching. watching your um you know just you being.

very hilarious about the things you. would do and M jealousy of other people. that got attention in weird ways and I. have a I was listening to this and. thinking I've got to mention this to. John when I was a kid I desperately. wanted attention middle child didn't. think I was getting it and in class we. read the book death be not proud uhhuh. which is uh a true story of the author's. son's battle with brain cancer it was.

the writer who wrote umel travels of. Europe and travels of USA he had two. yeah and uh he Gunther John Gunther and. it's the story of his son battling brain. cancer and I remembered reading that. book and being jealous of and the kid. loses the battle for dies and I I read. the book and I remember thinking that. guy got out so much attention oh my God. it was. like now do you understand that one. ,000% thank you thank you I I remember.

telling my mom exactly what I wanted at. my funeral and her I had no illness. right and she said well you know you're. not going to be there to see it all and. I was. crestfallen I still can't get over that. that I wasn't going to get to see people. listen to all the songs I picked and. have the speakers come up say what a. good person I was. godamn can you imagine I remember that. and I also remembered going to mass with. my whole family and my grandmother came.

with us and I mentioned this to you guys. the other day but I I have to say this. in front of John and so I don't know how. old I am I'm like 11 or 12 and I just. feel like I'm Lo I'm just this redheaded. round-faced freckled blob just lost in. the sea like no one's looking at me so. and my grandmother was with us who was. Ancient Ancient she was born in. 18 I think she was born in like 1890 so. and uh you know I think she I think she. was the person who shot Teddy Roosevelt.

when he was giving a speech that's was. her claim to fame but he best political. mic drop ever thank you yeah bu party. speech I don't think you realize I've. been shot everyone laughs he goes no no. no look look and he opens his jacket and. his glasses case stop the bullet and. then he continues the speech so today. that would be okay just be president. let's stop around trying to find. someone else uh anyway my grandmother's. with us we're all there in church and. then there's the part where you go up. and take communion and I got out and I.

uh feigned a limp i f you were going to. say I faked a slight limp going up the. aisle and took my communion and then M. did my limp on the way back and sat down. and my grandmother leaned over and she. said into my ear are you lame. boy and I said I'll be fine bravely it. was all wow because I needed to. pop in that moment and I wasn't popping. is responsible for your success that.

that my fake limp no that's how that's. why Lauren gave me late night you know. I'm concerned about his limp maybe a. little late night experience Lauren cast. him in Lauren was directing Richard III. and and then from. there from Richard the third he said you. want to write the Late Night show and he. said what if I host it iost everyone was. so busy that it happened yeah everyone. was busy that's why that part kind of. true it's a little bit everyone is that. actually is true I remember one year I. told everyone in school that my dad was.

Mark Summers the host of double dare and. I would say these things then I'd forget. about them and then people would meet my. dad and be upset and then uh I would go. to school and say that our house burned. down the night before just to get just. to get any traction yes it was just. about getting a little eye contact a. little conversation going we're not I. don't know about you I'm not defending. any of this behavior and this is this is. uh sad tragic Behavior I am just that. when. I've until John said these things in his.

standup I felt well I can never admit to. this but then uh a very well-liked. professional uh comedian and voice of. the voice of Youth said the same thing. and I thought I now I can talk about. this now I can say that um one of the. happiest days of my life is when I. shattered my elbow and had to be put in. the cast wow and they brought me they. cuz a kid in school we were fooling. around and a kid jumped up on top of me. and I fell back and put my arm back and.

it bent style yeah the wrong way and. they put me in what was like a 1920s. comedy cast you know today it would be. like micro surgery and then like a tiny. they put me in a cast that was made of a. plaster that they used it have the stick. going from it didn't have the I wanted. the stick trust me the stick going from. forearm to rist yeah thing cuz you. wonder if there's even anything in there. if it's just all plastic.

I had my real arm tied behind me and. then I had a fake cast with a stick uh. no but I and I remembered my they gave. me uh. medication and I remember thinking this. feels I feel amazing I have an. incredible wellbe and then I have this. cast on and they took me home and they. put me I lived up in the attic they put. me in my in the central they put me on. the second floor second floor stat. Christmas Christmas was coming soon. Christmas coming soon so my parents.

brought out gifts for me this was like. December 18th and then all my brothers. and sisters gathered around and I. thought I hope this arm Withers yeah I. hope this arm never. heals I so curious Talent aside cuz this. is the talent side of the table how much. of that drive he just gestured to John I. yeah I oh I'm just saying what I saw was. a you pushed in.

and then you scooped towards I took your. small portion and I just hedged my bets. over here how much of that is your dve. because you know every kid dabbles in. that we dabbled in in attention seeking. but I think at a certain point you go. okay I got to be realistic here but you. continued. on how much of that drive is responsible. for where you guys are very successful. I'm just curious what uh well you why. don't you take this John well I don't. know cuz there's obviously but what what.

chicken or the egg what gives you the. talent the need to like you Workshop. your talent for a need for attention or. you have the talent how did it well it's. if you have the need for attention the. drive for attention and then you have. the delivery device of. entertainment um which comes first. that's why I think not everyone does it. maybe some people didn't just love. entertaining in show business as much. well they you I mean I was always m. ified by kids that didn't want to be in.

entertainment yeah mystified me too and. also I'm still mystified by people that. don't want to be comedians I'm actually. still quite confused by why people don't. want to be I'm not I'm not remotely. kidding but. also I don't openly mock the the guy. that made like the Hubble Space. Telescope that thing that's no. good you look in it you just see your. eyelashes you look in the viewer it's. all eyelashes that thing stinks.

do you have a friend with a telescope. and they make you look at they go you. can see Saturn tonight and yeah you look. in you see your own eyelashes I do and. then when they finally show it to you. it's like a DOT and you go oh okay and. the guy one time this happened the guy. said to me what did you think it was. going to be I I'm embarrassed to say. what I thought it was going to be and. he's like did you think it'd be a ball. with rings around it and you'd see that. through the teles I said yes absolutely. that's the whole reason for having a. telescope I can go online and look at an. amazing photo of Saturn I don't need to.

come over to your house and you serve. this wine and now I'm supposed to. look at my eyelash and then a dot yeah. and by the way that's not guacamole if. there's not onion in it it's not. guacamole wow I'm getting very specific. wow wow wow wow wow wow the Hubble's. crap anyway it's no people that know. about that stuff know it's crap but I I. know to the public it's a big look the. new telescope the web telescope now. that's the winner. the Webster Hubble telescope is it.

Webster okay who was Webster Hubble Is. that Reagan Bush what is that what is. that name that reference Webster Hubble. that's a person I don't know that it is. I think you should maybe go I nobody. look at me attorney general under from. 1993 to 1994 oh Clinton never mind never. mind incredible yeah I'm not going to. say that you brought us on an. unproductive. culdesac but I am going to say you're. INS What about act you can drive right.

out of it we know who Webster Hubble is. now you know what I mean what bothers me. is that when you entered the building. the name Webster Hubble was written on. your hand as if work this in that's the. part that concerns me and we still. haven't even gotten to see Ever. Coupe I love that beard yeah what a. great Whaler he. was.