Jimmy Carr Wants A Nemesis | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

hello my name is Jimmy Carr and I feel. contractually obliged about being Conan. O'Brien's. friend you know that was an honest. honest read uh you are contractually. obliged you had to come here against. your will you didn't want to be anything. to do with this podcast you and I have. long been enemies um we should just come. out with that right now I think it's. it's best the listeners otherwise. they're just going to pick up this weird. energy but yes we are um we are foes I. us i' love to have a nemesis wouldn't. you you know what I want to have you. don't no one's got a nemesis these days. I want nemy I more than one nemesi it.

feels like you were in a world though. there was that period of late night. where there was it was possible to have. there were rivals in this late night. World God bless you thank you that you. did really have kind of a nemesis yes. yes and uh now there's this I talked to. the other late night host of course I. got out of that game um but I talked to. the other host out of it yes well I mean. you would yeah okay let's. let's let's go with that let's go with. that look your podcast when I say got. out of it yeah what I mean was shortly.

after they asked you to leave you left. they they edged me out they squeezed me. out yeah uh they said uh you're to be. out of here within a month uh and um or. we're coming after you we've got and we. know some bad people so yes I was chased. kind of an incredible career in late. night though because I remember that. thing of like reading that book and. being really excited about late night. because it for me it's so glamorous and. so far away but we sort of read about it. and that idea that you were sort of. doing it and you've been put into this. position as as a writer and they. suddenly G on their seen something in.

you and gone incredible sort of perform. something that you don't see that no. one's seen since yeah it was just a. flash for a second we all we all saw. some later they put their glasses on. they put their glasses on later and said. oh we're sorry we thought we saw. something in you but it's it's an. extraordinary thing because and then it. just you like that thing about you. thought you were going to go after two. weeks and then it was 30 years later. you're still a huge part of the culture. it's really exciting that well thank you. I managed you you backed into a. compliment I love it um accidentally you.

you were backing up in a supermarket and. you backed into a whole bunch of tomato. cans of compliment sauce and toppled. them over but either way you backed into. a compliment and I'll take it James. algenon car we're going with Alon yeah. I'm going to keep giving you different. middle names okay but let me they're all. going to sound like a stomach issue no. but can I say something Jimmy there's. this you are correct you're so wise. there's this there was this era where. all the late night hosts they we didn't. call call each other up we didn't talk.

to each other uh there were very few of. us and uh everyone had their little fom. and we were constantly peering over our. stone walls at each other do you know. what I find weird about that you're not. allowed to talk on your. interview it's the opposite of stand-up. comedy Alan havy said this wonderful. thing to me he's an older guy he was in. madm you might have seen him grayhair. Coursey very funny incredible uh but he. said this thing to me about comedy he. said we out for ourselves but in it. together yes that standup world of going. you escape competition through auth. authenticity no one else can beat you at.

being you and it strikes me that the. late night hosts were all the same and. they just couldn't see that no one had. told them oh you can all be friends. there's there's nothing you can do the. lamman can do and Jay Leno can't do what. you do and it was such a different skill. set but no one told you that you could. all be friends you could have gone out. for drinks every night yeah but it. wouldn't have happened the personalities. were not such that people would be going. out for drinks together it just it was a. different time and I won't get into. specifics but it wasn't going to happen. now all I hear when I talk to these. hosts is we just all went out to a.

Cheesecake Factory together and then. high-fived each other and split the bill. evenly and they have a podcast together. they did during the strike they they're. all Chums they all hang out together at. the same spawn get rubb Downs together. which I find a little suspicious only. I'm not having it back back when you. were you know you were you were straight. out of Hell's Kitchen you had you were. you carrying a knife at all times and. yeah yes I was one of the Plug Uglies I. was from a dangerous street gang you get. the job you got you got jumped in to. late night right yes jump in you to.

assault an older host yes I was walking. down the street minding my own business. a van pulls up and a bunch of guys and. it was it really was like they had the. little razors in their boyo caps their. pey blinders and they came out and they. said oh light night show for you he. don't be don't be mad about my accent no. I love I love the accent very accurate. yes those are my people we'll give you a. Nick and then the next thing you know on. a late night show someone wants to tell. me how I'm Irish obviously as as a as a.

un a cultural appropriation way um you. GRE you grew up in England but grew up. in England but I'm I'm sort of first. generation immigrant uh to England so my. parents were from limr and then they. moved to a place called slow so there's. something about towns they very. much enjoyed one to another I got taught. recently though I got taught by uh how. to do a proper Dublin accent oh you did. proper Dublin accent by by Bono no less. there's a name drop oh there you go so. you've just got to sound deaf if you. want to sound like you're from the north. side of Dublin just sound deaf what's.

the I can I can hear you but it doesn't. sound like I can hear you you sound a. little bit that's very north side of. Dublin you're wrecking me. buzz and also to pick up the phone of. like real north side of Dublin be. story no no hello no anything story. story what's the story you know what. they also say in Dublin I was just there. uh fair play Oh fair play to you fair. play means and I I was kind of trying to. figure out what that means but you'd say. something like um anything I would just.

say I thought it was going to rain but. it didn't so I'll put my umbrella away. fair fair pleasure Fair pleasure that. what does that mean fair play it sounds. like oh I guess I don't know it's just. just a filler there I know everyone's. just trying to get to the Grave yeah. what else what else can they say um I. want to back up because so far we've. we've talked a lot we've said nothing. and I feel that that's on me but also. more on you uh Jimmy I want to instruct. the listen right now that uh I had you.

on my late night program seven times you. did stand up seven times and uh had you. want a bunch because a you were. available but b i adored you you're very. you're you're terrific you have a. terrific mind and uh as you say there. was nobody like you there is nobody like. you you have a very specific style great. great jokes like little Diamond nuggets. your jokes but then I'll take it. delivery oh always I always enjoyed your.

delivery something no no no I loved your. delivery because you would deliver the. joke and then your head would slightly. Retreat and you'd look around as if you. weren't part of what you just said and. it had this nice uh I I mean I used to. try and do you you'd be on the show and. afterwards I'd be for my writers trying. to do Jimmy Carr because you'd and I. can't but I'd say something and then. slightly the retreat with wide eyes and. look around.

as if as if you were innocent of what. was just said my friend my friend Sean. Lock always used to call me on that cuz. I'd say something terrible like a. terrible joke like awful the worst thing. you could think of about a dark subject. matter and then I look at the audience. like what why why are you why is. everyone upset yeah what how could you. what it wasn't me what are you looking. at I was in my flat having a bath why am. I being I said flat for your sake thank. you um but uh that's apartment Soma oh. yeah yeah okay anyway um I so I was on. the show seven times and then it was.

cancelled so we can link those two. events I was not cancelled what that's. ridiculous you don't have your no you. don't have your facts correct so we can. straighten that out later but no one. ever cancels Conan O'Brien is it is it. still on which one the TBS show no no I. I well there you go then oh so you think. because my show ended that it was. cancelled yes how dare you I love it you. love that Sona I love that being the. narrative all right well you know what. I'm just going to go with it yeah you. got yes what happened was about 2 and. years ago I started my I think my uh my.

conduct became very inappropriate on the. air okay remember I did that lot a lot. of people haven't you know spoken about. this openly but yes Terri I did a show. we did a theme show where I wasn't. wearing any clothes from the waist down. you were canceled in both ways the show. and as like socially as a human yes yeah. and uh three ways cuz my wife refuses to. even see me now she looks past me and. sees things but no listen this is how. rumors start by the way I know and this. is your fault.

someone's going to clip this up and go. do you know he was inappropriate on me I. was I did 28 years in late night and. then I gracefully dismounted into this. podcast which you don't clearly seem to. be aware this is massive this podcast. this is a massive podcast tell him tell. him it's all. right he deflated. you you would think more would go into. it no I found that by doing less you do. more yeah the less you put into. something the more you get that's what I. figured out I used to work so hard on.

those early late night shows it's. clearly I was wrong this is the way to. go I'm I'm a big fan of I'm a big fan of. that whole stoic thing of like doing. less better yes just do just do one. thing just what are you get at you good. at talking what's the podcast it's just. talking just talking it's just that they. gave me all this information on you I. haven't read it I'm not even I can't. read. I or tell time um they're just shapes to. me.