Jack Black Is Constantly Getting Food Stuck In His Beard | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

Hi, my name is Jack Black and I feel. magnificent. about being Conan O'Brien's friend. That's a nice thing to say. Honestly, it's the first thing that came into my. head. I should have prepared a word cuz. I know this is what happens. Last time. you were on, you said shitty. I said. shitty. Yeah. And now I'm And now it's. magnificent. What happened? It's a fine line between. shitty and magnificent. Fine line. It's. a broad line. It's a It's a massive. chasm. Well, shitty. I think I was going.

for the laugh and magnificent. I was. just going for my actual feelings in the. moment. A That's really sweet. That's. really nice. And you know, you're the. first guy and or woman who brought me an. apple. You brought me an apple. Uh I. did. My father has an apple orchard in. Washington and I had him FedEx in a ice. box like I'm kidding. I got that from. your green room.

Damn. And honestly, I was going to eat. it myself, but then as soon as I stepped. in here, it's like, I'm giving it to. Con. Take your take your apple. Ow. Yeah. You know what? For a Was there a. second where you thought his dad was I. was on board that whole time? You know. why? Cuz there's a kernel of truth. My. father does have Well, he did have an. apple orchard. He switched over to. grapes. Boo. Boo. It's hard work. farming. I boo. I. don't know. I like to boo arbitrary. things like, "Yay, apple. Boo grapes.".

33. So now he's I'm thinking about how. old my dad is. Born in 1941. Okay, I can. do the math on that. He's 111. No, he's. like 84. It's pretty He's getting up. there for farm work, you know, but he's. still living on the farm doing keeps him. healthy. My dad 95. No way. Yeah. And. he's uh he he does he spots people at. the gym, which is that's what he does. for a living. Great jeans. Yeah. Well, it doesn't work. out. His torso always falls off the.

minute he grabs the weight. Dude, spotting is no joke. Bleed. Just a weird. dust comes out. I'm telling you, they. sew him back up and he's okay. You got. to respect. You got to respect jokes. Go. That was an apple. Um, listen. We're. going to get a lot of good uh apple. crunch going right now in this podcast. That's nice. Yeah. What do they call. that? The thing the kids do now with the. sounds. ASMR. ASMR. What was I going. for? You going for anesthesia? Yeah.

What's the one where a kid can't stand? Misophonia. Misophonia. Misophonia. Is. it misophonia? Uh, I don't know. That. one. Miso horny. Okay. I let it go. You. know what I did? I saw it and I let it. go. But you I saw it and I let it go and. you grabbed it. And that's the metal. jacket. I see what you're doing. Full. metal Jack Blacket. Miso hony. Nice. Hey. Um, that's exactly what I was. doing. Jack, as you're as you're.

chopping away on that apple like an. animal. Um, I mean, a horse a horse has. more dignity eating an apple than you. are right now. You're out of control. Um, also, I could have gotten a in this. class if I had just let you think I got. you this apple, but instead I took it. back. And you've angered me. And you've. angered. I'm going to say worth it, though. Every bite is another delicious. explosion. You got good apples. You know, this.

beard that your face has generated is. insane. Look at that beard. That is a. That's a crazy beard. And all I'm. wondering is how much food cuz I'm. looking at you eat the apple. And I. think a third of the apple is going into. the beard. Dad, so much of my food goes. into my beard nowadays. It's It's funny. you It's certain foods. Apples. I'm not. going to get any apple in my beard. Maybe some apple juice. Yeah. But uh the. food that gets in there obviously it's. the soups. Anything that's got like uh.

that you have to eat with a spoon is. going to end up in my beard. Yeah. And. people say, "Oh, it's great. I get to. eat it later." It's not great. No. And. whenever it happen, I a lot of times I. will go and take a shower right after a. meal because the napkin won't get it. off. You'll still have residue. Yeah. In. the hairs. Did you just say residue? I. did. What is that? The French form of. residue? That's a liquid. Uid. I did it. on purpose. I like it. I like to use the. liquid you. Um I like that you keep. touching your beard though and running.

your uh fingers through it. It's It's. like a central experience for you. constantly. It is. And I know when I. shave it, and that's coming soon, I'm. going to miss this the tactile. experience of pulling on the beard. Um, but I actually was planning on getting a. little trim before I came in here. because it's a little unruly. Yeah. And. it's it's like, you know how you get. split ends on your hair if you let it go. too long and too too untrimmed? Same. deal with the beard. I think now there's. a beard wax, I'm told you can put on a.

Would you ever try anything like that? Wax it up a little bit. Uh, I'm not. against waxing. I'm I'm impressed by the. people that win the prizes for best. beard and mustache where they go. Don't. say stop it. Stop just changing things. arbitrarily, mustache. It's a crutch. I do change words. I do. enjoy changing words. And I don't know. if you're going to break me of it today. No. But uh I have never used the wax. Um. cuz I like to run my fingers through it.

and then my fingers would get all waxy. Yeah. Uh but I have used the oil, the. beard oil. Yeah. But I found out the. hard way. You don't want to overdo it. Cuz I used some beard oil before a big. concert in Germany. We played this. festival called Rock and Rolling and uh. like a 100,000 people in the audience. They're not there to see us. They're. there to see Metallica or whoever. And I. put on a bunch of beard oil before cuz I. wanted to be extra I don't know oily. I. wanted to be Well, I just wanted the. beard to be looking fierce and rocking.

And um when I went back and watched the. replay of the thing they had they had. recorded it, uh I saw that my you could. see my my skin underneath my beard was. all shiny and greasy and and and it was. because I put too much on and I you. don't want to touch the skin underneath. the beard. No. No. So from now on when I. do it, I didn't do it today. Uh I just. grab the tips of the beard and uh tease. it out. I tease it out. So you got to be.

subtle with it. Just a little tip for. all you beard and mustachios out there. Uh, no, that's that's half our audience. is beard and mustachio. You know the. best thing about that oils, the way it. makes you smell, it's better than. cologne cuz it's just a hint of like. muskrat. I don't know what that the. different not muskrat. What is it? It's. got a certain musk is what you're trying. to say. Animal different flavors like. sandalwood. Yeah. Or um what's the one. that's kind of minty but it smells like. the forest pine. Okay, G, take it easy.

Jesus, Jack. It's just pine. Listen, first of all, you've got El Diablo. eyebrows. They are pointed straight up. and you you'll say like, "What is that. again?" That when you're in the for pine. and suddenly a a hellhound has come up. and has attacked us to steal our souls. And you're just talking about pinescent. I love that you called my eyebrows El. Diablo. El Diablo. They are El Diablo. I've always called them my Ernie Borg. nines when they start going out of. control, when I get some stray hairs up.

there. But once again, I had someone. coming over to my house to to to uh. spruce me up before I came here. And I. think our wires got crossed and uh we I. that did not happen. So, I'm here in my. completely unvarnished state. Yeah. Straight out of the forest.