If Conan Were An Animal, What Would He Be? | Conan O’Brien Needs a Fan

If you could turn into an animal. what animal would you be and why? This is like "Willow.". Kind of. Yeah. I see the connection there. Awesome. Perfect. I didn't, again, still I'm. ignorant of the plot of "Willow" so I don't know. And I know this shocks you Gourley, but I don't know. what it has to do, but now I know, I guess, it has something to do. with humans turning into. Well, it's kind of like "Ladyhawke" or "Crawl," so. Matt. I am. Oh Matt. Oh God.

I am as lost as I've ever been. Oh, sure. Okay. Anyway, What animal would I want to turn into? Well, definitely not one that can jump in the sea. I always think that's whenever someone. like Aquaman or there's some creature that's, or some person that says yeah but I can jump in the ocean. and turn into a fish, I think yeah, but you're so restricted. in your movements, right. You have to wait for a crime to be committed underwater.

And that just doesn't happen too often. You know, you're basically, people are trying to ask you, can you get under there and get the barnacles off my boat? I don't want to dry dock it. So I'm gonna say I want it to be, oh, okay. I'd like to be a grizzly. I'm fascinated by grizzly bears. I would love to be able to turn into a grizzly bear at will. And I'd like to be able to stand up on two legs. and rub my back against a giant Redwood tree.

You should do that now. Would you wear a diaper? Would you wear a diaper? Like would you put on a diaper and kinda like go like that? Oh, no. Put some background music and. No, there, You can also do that now. Some classical music. And would you do that a lot, or? Would that classical theme be Flight of the Bumblebees? Right, right, right. Okay. Yes, I get it. No, I do not wanna be the Masturbating Bear, and by the way. you're talking about something I can do now.

I, yes, I can scratch my back now. but when you're a grizzly and you rub your back against. a giant tree, people see a tree shaking, 15 miles away. and they know somewhere a grizzly is satisfying himself. Is it a sexual thing or is it just, he's got an itch he can't reach? No, it's an itch on the back. But also sometimes. trees mount, sometimes grizzly bears mount a tree. from the front and that's sexual. Oh.

Oh. And then people see the tree shaking and they know, okay, it has a slightly different shake. I'd like to be a, no, I'd like to be a grizzly. because I admire their speed, their strength, their beauty. I'd also like to occasionally just lose it on a camper. (chuckling). You just want to rip a head off. Yeah, they forgot to tie their Slim Jim. and hoist it up into a tree before they went to their tent. Yeah, I'd love to do that. It's just rip open the tent and go, (Conan growls).

(chuckling). Like I'm doing a practical joke, yeah.